/ck/ - Food & Cooking

I enjoy frozen microwaveable lasagna

I'm at least 5 pounds overweight and I can't stop myself from stuffing my fat face with garbage when I'm feeling down, but I still look down on people who are fatter than me.

I like to reheat my steak in the microwave and then just drown it in A1, barely care for it cold.

I'm 26 and still regularly eat ramen.

I take Korean cold noodles home and microwave them. I take Italian pasta dishes home and eat them cold.

>>6537320
>>>/fit/

I can't stop drinking shitty soda.

>>6537320
>5

Try at least 50

>>6537361

If I lost 50 pounds I would probably die.

I eat out at least a third of my meals every week

I am getting fat, getting stretch marks, feeling colder when I go outside, losing hair and my doctor says my cholesterol is through the roof

But I'm only 27

I'm probably going to die in my 30s due to my shitty eating habits

>>6537320
Only a girl would give a shit about being 5 pounds overweight.

I'm probably 70-80 pounds overweight, I don't know for sure because I've never been a normal weight before.

>>6537309
i drink energy drinks like people drink sodas

>>6537320
If that's you then depending on your height you're more like 40-70 pounds overweight.

>>6537393
Does it ever affect your health?

>>6537400
Yes...my penis has shrunk by like an inch and a half

>>6537399
It's from my fattie rage porn folder, but I can see how people are misunderstanding.

>>6537404

>>6537400
according to a recent health survey at my company, im in better shape than some of the people that work out constantly.

i have made myself seriously sick before though from the excess, but that was special circumstance. ie roadtrip.

other than that my current pulse is around 50-60bpm and ive had 4 today if that gives you any indication

>>6537412
I can barely drink coffee without getting jittery let alone drinking even a single energy drink.

>>6537413
first time i decided to try them i basically didnt drink caffeine before. it put me to sleep in an hour

>>6537413
a single energy drink puts me in a sheer state of anxiety

how people enjoy them ive never understood

>>6537420
like any other drink, taste

>>6537420
Yeah exactly. My anxiety is bad enough without trying to drink that stuff too.

>>6537426
yeah but a dr pepper isn't going to give me a panic attack

>>6537309
I buy cans of frosting so that my eating disordered room mate will eat them. I buy he eats and we never speak of it.

>>6537430
never been prone to anxiety so i cant help you there, but theres nothing wrong with being sensitive to caffeine

>>6537434
But...why? What kind of an eating disorder is it?

sick of playing with settings and making test worlds

it begins

>>6537531
what

>>6537531
/vg/ is a long ways off man.

>>6537437
He's a compulsive eater at times. Whenever he gets upset or worried he eats and eats. Frosting is his thing.

A month ago his car got vandalized by kids down the street. It was a three can evening.

He eats it in his room by himself. Next day I replace it.

>>6537554
Why do you do that though? What possesses you to spend money on canned frosting for another person?

>>6537554
That's horrible why would you do that

I've only eaten one dish for the past year.

>>6537554
I love this.

Why?

>>6537557
Well, eating the frosting makes him feel better. So its like I'm helping him work out his problems without he and I having to discuss them, which would be super awkward.

>>6537613
That's OK anon. I tried to eat a cup once.

>>6537631
All you're doing is encouraging a pretty unhealthy habit just to avoid having to actually socialize with someone, which probably wouldn't happen anyway.

>>6537605
It's not horrible. I stopped buying the frosting for a while and bib heard him come out if his room at 2am, hunt for a can and not find any. I heard him up all night. It was obvious he was upset. Next day I bought six cans.

I use instant beef gravy + garam masala powder + turmeric + frozen vegetables to make quick japanese style curry more often than I eat any other food

>>6537637
Well, that's why I posted this on the confessions thread. It's a confession. It's not a grand stand medal receiving ceremony. I'm not here to win a prize. I didn't save a puppy. I'm confessing.

Truth is we've been doing this for so long now I don't know if it's wise to just stop.

I eat like a disgusting fat fuck but I'm still just barely underweight because of a digestive disorder

>>6537645
Sounds like he could use a therapist, but obviously you can't force a grown man to do that, so. Hopefully he can find his way eventually. Indulging in sugar constantly like that will just lead to bad health issues.

I eat this shit. You delicious golden processed cheese.

>>6537648
that shit's made out of recycled soda bottles bro

>>6537653
Not him and I don't eat that shit, but have a link?

>>6537647
I tried sugar free frosting, but it just sat in the cupboard.

>>6537658
i pulled that shit out of my ass dude
much like a block of velveeta

>>6537660
I mean it pretty much melts the same as plastic bottles...

>>6537645
i've been sitting here giggling like a tit about "three can evening"
thank you anon

>>6537648

>>6537309
I am 20 lbs overweight, and have a terrible body image. I have slight gynecomastia, and it makes me feel like killing myself when I look at my naked chest. I wear clothing that best masks my disgusting figure.

In social situations 75% of the time I can only think about the next funny or smart thing that I can say to keep people's interests. I never enjoy time spent with people, because I'm constantly experiencing anxiety regarding whether or not they are enjoying my company. Because of that, I hardly say anything at all.

I think the only reason I can keep my girlfriend is because she is afraid of being alone, even if it means dating someone neurotic and ugly. I don't like her very much, and she is very stupid and uninteresting. This actually relaxes me around her, because I do not feel the need to impress her, since she is a shitty, boring person. That's why I stay with her. Despite this, I get nervous when we have sex, and I can only last about two pathetic minutes before ejaculating. I had a small penis until college, and while I did eventually grow to an average size, I still am haunted by memories of constantly thinking how small my dick is. It crushed my confidence throughout all of high school, and I couldn't make any friends.

I also don't like olives.

>>6537705
>20 lbs. overweight
>man titties
I'm at least 40 lbs. overweight, and I still don't have tits.

>>6537328
There is no way that I don't like steak except raw. From blue to well done I love it all. Literally impossible to fuck up. Any cut, any seasoning, any sauce.

>>6537705

It's okay anon, my gf does not like olives either and I still bang her

>>6537709
>gynecomastia
m8 he literally says this in the same post.

>>6537554
This turns me on so much

I eat grits.

I'm a yankee

sometimes when i forget to thaw the chicken i toss it in the microwave.

just stand me in front of a wall and start shooting already

I'm afraid of cutting vegetables due to a very bad knife experience as a teenager. I pass off the meal prep duties to my wife as a way to "save time," but really it's because I'm terrified of chopping. It makes me feel like a huge baby piece of shit. I love doing the actual cooking, but when it comes to getting the vegetables ready, I panic and can't do it. I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have someone else to do that part for me. Cry into a Hot Pocket and hate my miserable existence even more, probably.

>>6537789
food processor?

>>6537789

>>6537789
I'm actually the exact same way. Knives kind of freak me out because of stupid accidents, it's fucking embarrassing.

>>6537309

It's not that bad. I usually buy few packs when they're on sale. Good for lazy nights.

I'm extraordinarily clumsy and always have been. As such, going into an industry that requires a great deal of knifework was uhh, not necessarily the best idea. I currently have about 3 inches of gauze and tape on my thumb from chopping almost into the bone earlier tonight. Kept working though. I should get stitches but I don't want to deal with it unless I have to.

I had a phobia of this shit when i was in the catering business. Owner lost all the plastic safety bits and told me stop being a bitch. Of course i get careless and cut off my fingertip. The new guys always gave me shit for wearing a kevlar glove (like the kind oyster shuckers use) until i show them my mangled finger. Works better too, less waste, never have to worry about being cut.

>>6537705
Other than the sex-related stuff, I think you are literally me

im a vegetarian but i still eat McDonald's fries once in a while.
please dont hurt me

>>6537871
So? I don't think they use animal fat to fry them anymore, just oil.

>>6537871
>>6537904
They stopped using Beef Tallow a long time ago, it's just some weird starchy thing they use as a beef flavor substitute. So yeah, it's vegetarian.

I never eat veg. Oh wait no i do i have lettuce on my burgers..

>>6537789

see a therapist or something. this shit can clear up pretty easily.

>>6537911
>>6537904
well i be darned. thanks guys. guess i was fed outdated info.

>>6538075
>>6537911
>>6537904
hmmmm

I prefer hillshire farms kielbasa over the real stuff.

>>6538075
some stores will still use the same oil for frying $animalproducts and fries at least occasionally, even though they're not allowed to by their internal rules. not a big deal either and usually only happens if they need to get shit done but all the other frying slots are occupied already, but sounds like you want to know. happens more often at burger king than at mcdonalds fwiw and for all i know.

>>6537380
You can eat out and eat healthy too. But I'm guessing you're American.

>>6538083
that's odd. in germany they market a veggie burger as..well..vegetarian.

>>6538087
would it taste different? is there sone way to tell?

I'm around 30kg (66 pounds?) overweight, but I don't really care. It kind of build up without me noticing. I don't drink soda or eat fast food and I rarely buy sweets. I throw up after meals to feel less guilty.

>>6537393
Me too, sometimes i drink few liters of red bull per day, and I'm drinking yerba mate with a lot caffeine, i am healthy and have no problems with sleep

Being hungry is annoying as fuck. Id gladly give up eating if i could survive without it.

>>6537320

let me get this straight, are you trying to grill fish on a plank on a gas grill? do you not know how to use a plank?

>get one side charred/burning/smoking
>flip over
>reduce heat or move from direct heat
>since it's intended for charcoal you fuck
>cook fish on hot plank with it's smokiness softly absorbing into the meat
>like an old man into a warm bath

>>6537340

this, quitting smoking was easier than soda- seriously it's so fucking addicting idk how i just know it is

>>6538836
just stop buying it. have some flavored seltzer around the house

>>6538847

I've long since kicked the habit and discovered my absolute love for gyokuro tea. It was a horrible withdrawal tho

I'm vegetarian.

>>6537639
Are you a girl? I so, this is kind of kinky. Would you pity-fuck your roommate and post results?

Before I lost weight, I was over 300lbs and got insanely depressed one evening. So, I took an entire family sized box of Hot Pockets, lined a cake pan with them, dumped an entire jar of pasta sauce over the top, then an entire bag of mozzarella cheese, baked it, and ate the entire fucking thing like a sad fat fuck. I was down to 160lbs about a year and some odd months later, but damn if that doesn't still haunt me...

>>6538432
>I don't really care
>I throw up after meals to feel less guilty
pick one

>>6537645
You need to take your relationship to the next level. Leave something beside the frosting. An unfrosted cupcake, a note, something.

>>6538911
What flavour of hot pocket? Was it it the pepperoni pizza that your image states?

That's a pretty crafty recipe if you can look beyond the fatfuckery of it all. Hot pocket casserole.

>>6538922
>>6538911
Submit that to some flyover state fair cooking competition and you could win 1st place

I like to eat a bar of chocolate before drinking beer
my hangover cure is a bag of cheese puffs and can of coca-cola, usually consumed in my car, on the way to go get more beer and chocolate

Whenever I eat pizza rolls, I sprinkle some cheese on top of them, then layer some pepperonis over them, then stick on broil till the cheese melts and the pepperonis are nice and greasy.

>>6538922
They were. It really was basically a cheap, giant, pizza lasagna/casserole type deal. All things considered, if you were to dress it up a bit, and serve it in manageable portions, it wouldn't be god awfully terrible. I haven't really eaten a hot pocket since then - thinking about them is like flashbacks to 'Nam.

>>6537320
Come to /fit/ we'll fix that for you

>>6538915
I don't really care enough to start exercising and eating healthy, so I just throw up after meals becaue it takes no effort
how's that?

>>6537631
>I feed my roommate with cans, which he eats alone in his room
>Talking to people? Dude, that is awkward

>>6537705
You sound like a horrible person. What kind of asshole doesn't like olives?

>>6538911
This actually sounds pretty good.

>>6538973
No you won't. You'll just recommend roids and dnp and encourage me to participate in feels threads.

As long as my shirt is on I look great anyway.

Rice is so simple and easy to make, what's the point of instant rice??

Also, I love to eat french bread with fried meat in it. Plebbest of the plebs but I don't care, it's my favorite meal

>>6537309
I'm addicted to chips and they're probably the sole reason I'm overweight.

>>6539256
simple and easy does not mean fast.

I tried cooking a steak 'properly' for the first time
It was the best damn steak I've ever cooked, and then some crackheads knocked on my door thinking there was a fire

>>6537309
I, I don't pull that little layer of skin off the bottom of bbq ribs when I cook them.

>31 years old
>regularly drinks four loko

Funny thing is I usually stop at the store after work while wearing dress clothes and a tie. Gets some odd looks for sure.

>>6539324
My boyfriend's 34 and he still drinks four loko and mad dog....maybe its a high school flashback or something.

>>6537666
yeah, that was funny.

I burned a cu of tea to a crisp

>>6539383
How?
Where does your tea contact any form of heat between pouring it from a pitcher in your fridge to drinking

>>6539224
>liking olives

>>6537309
underrated thread

>>6539389
>ill (flu)
>at dorm, no electric kettle, roommate not around
>reheating tea in a pot on stove
>return to bed, pass out
>woken up by a smokescreen from honey charcoal

>>6537856
Those fucking things are humanity's greatest enemy

>>6539355

same anon

Four loko only came out 10 years ago so, its not a nostalgia thing. Don't know about your bf, but for me its just a cheap alcoholic thing.

It is cheap, gives me a good buzz and the taste is alright. Then again when it comes to alcohol I have awful taste. To me a PBR tastes better than any IPA or lager that I have tried.

>>6537856
I see retards using these incorrectly all the time.

Stop clutching the food with your fingertips, moron. Palm whatever you're slicing and you won't cut yourself. You had better have some fucking palm calluses, though.

Literally never cut myself with one of these.

bump

>>6537705
>>6537868
You both are me during my second year of high school to my first year of uni, man tits, social tendencies and dick size and all. I've been 5'6", ~150 pounds for the past 2 years now, by the way.

I'm 21 now and my man tits are gone because I hit the gym a lot during my senior year of high school. I completely blasted my chest and I had huge, beautiful pec muscles, and now the muscles are gone because I don't work out, but I got rid of the fat, so now it's evened out.

I don't know how old you fags are, but I grew out of the anxieties that weighed me down before. I remember taping my tits down before going to school so I could wear a shirt, because I had spent the entire year wearing hoodies to cover my body.

You'll grow out of it. I don't know what exactly made me happy with myself, but it feels like it just happened. I don't worry about conversations, or plan my jokes out (granted, everyone thought I was funny as fuck) anymore, and I honestly forgot I did that until you brought it up. I mean, I planned my words and identified other peoples' soft spots for humor fucking years before our conversations even started.

Anyway, you'll be fine. I don't know what kind of advice to offer, but you'll develop better or some shit.

When I was a teenager, I would put a baked potato and some ketchup into a blender and lightly blend it to make ketchup mashed potatoes.

They were excellent.

>>6539435
Yeah me and him drink pbr and natty light. Its not a taste thing. We're moving out of Nevada to Utah tho and I'm sure their liquor laws suuuuck

I eat ranch more than most people

Dip pizza in ranch
Use ranch seasoning on pizza and chicken fries etc
Fries dipped in ranch
Dip burgers in ranch
Hot cheetos and ranch is my favorite snack
I'll take a Totinos party pizza, add a layer of ranch, then top with another party pizza and eat it like a sandwich

I had 12 quail eggs and a spoonful of soy sauce for dinner

>>6542121

I don't see what's wrong with this.

If you gave the quail some fancy origin name, charged $30 and put it in a fancy restaurant, you'd probably have people praising the fuck out of it.

I get that "fancy" vibe from it.

>>6539393
shush fatty

>>6542193
yeah i thought about peeling them and arranging them on a plate nicely with some cut up fruit and taking a pic to put on /ck/ so i could pretend it was fine dining and i would name it ''œuf de caille avec des fruits''

but it was too much effort

small foods look nice, and people associate it with fancy food because of the small portions in many fine dining establishments

>>6537309
I love aerosol cheese. It's so good.
I like to eat it on saltines while watching tv. Not just a little spray either. At least 70% of the cracker needs to be covered in it. I could easily finish off an entire can in one sitting if I didn't stop myself.
It's also really good on celery.

I eat the batter when I make pancakes.

Also, can anyone tell me how to prevent the batter from being clumpy? pleb here

>>6542332
how is it clumpy? are the clumps just lumps of flour? if so, sieve it

I use ungodly amounts of ketchup on nearly anything I don't make myself

I can make a mean homemade marguerita pizza, but yet I really, really like Domino's pan pizza.

I like poached eggs on spam.

Sometimes I'll mix instant coffe with a bag of cinnamon tea, it tastes pretty good. I also eat fluff out of the tub with a spoon.

>>6537434
>tfw you have to cash out a hungry ed skeleton buying two containers of frosting
>tfw you know they're just going to eat it and puke it back up after

>>6537309
I alway have a can or two of Dinty Moore Beef Stew sitting around, in case im having a really rough or down day and dont want to cook something.

I usually throw it on the stove add canned diced tomatos, green beans, and corn and then cook it down some.

But Ive eaten it right out of the can cold before.

I know how awful it is, but I have a real soft spot for it.

>>6542248
Inside of Bugles...

>>6543020
>But Ive eaten it right out of the can cold before.

I've done this with Chef Boyardee more times than I'm willing to admit.

I eat nothing but fast food everyday and have no desire whatsoever to try anything else.

>>6537659
Dat whole conversation busted my sides.

NICE

I eat peanut butter straight out of the jar. Sometimes if I want something sweet, I'll put some jam in a bowl and dip the spoon of pb into it before eating. In small not fatfuck portions, its not a bad dessert.

I tried Poptarts when I was in America, and it was fucking disgusting.

However, I was practically addicted to cheap DD Donuts and cheap frozen waffles.

>>6544476
Also Cherry and Vanilla Coke. Why do Americans hate this so much, and if so, why do they only sell it in America?

>>6538911
I've been 15 - 30 lbs underweight my entire adult life, but was flirting with a potential ED for a year and can relate to this. I've sat down and eaten over 5,000 calories in under an hour before and thinking about eating any of the foods I ate during these sessions makes me feel ashamed and nauseous..