/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>6532116
eat bread, lots and lots of bread.

>>6532116
Getting ass pounded like the homosexual degenerate piece of garbage you are, I guess. Fucking faggot

>>6532118
Carbs are toxic.

>>6532119
In the IRC channel the mods promised I wouldn't get made fun of for my sexual orientation any more. We live in 2015 so you better conform or YOU WILL get your tooshy banned.

>>6532122
Eat a 9mm slug you subhuman garnage

>>6532122
DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS

>>6532122
Wanna timestamp a picture of your bod? You never delivered.

>>6532116
A diet of ONLY fresh coconuts will help after a day or so.

>>6532133
Bump this because Edgar is a liar.

Lots of black coffee and chain smoke a couple cigarettes.

The caffeine and nicotine will stimulate your bowels.

Nice steaming bowl of chili, maybe with beans since they help you get a good intestinal rumbling going

>>6532144
homemade coconuts

>>6532192
Don't forget your activated almonds, Edgar.

>>6532116
try Castor Oil....or really any oil, have a shot now and again in an hour or so.
Commonly used in geriatric care for constipation...then you can go back to eating what ever the fuck you want.
Also, milk, Orange juice (or any fresh juice really) en masse will give most people the shits. Things like cheese and a meat heavy diet can back you up like....well like you are now.
For future reference Try and incorporate a lot more fiber (vegetables and whole grains) into your daily diet and you should be able to avoid constipation.

>>6532122
die faggot

Black coffee, cigarette, some oatmeal cookies. You should be fine in an hour or so.

>>6532174
this

>>6532122
Get a load of this faggot.

>>6532122
Why don't you shove a million dicks in your "tooshy" you flaming faggot? Nobody likes you. Go be a homosexual degenerate somewhere else.

Only the dead know peace from this troll.

>>6532122
If I was your father I would be ashamed of you.

Eat some Ramen. That stuff always gives me the shits.

>>6532116
triple espresso

>>6532122
I'm gay, but you need to fuck off and kill yourself.

Also, seconding coffee and chili with beans.

>>6532116
Roast chicken dinner with plenty of gravy and mint sauce, never ever fails

>>6532122

I know Edgar is just a really dedicated troll and on occasion can post OC, but seriously dude, this is how you choose to spend your time? You are this deprived of actual attention that you feel compelled to come on a chinese cartoon forum and shit post constantly?

Whatever gets you off I suppose, it's just really pathetic.

If you're going out for food anyway just pick up some fiber laxative pills or fiber one bars. One or two fiber one bars will fix you up fast.

sugar free gummy bears are notorious for causing extreme diarrhea. eat a bag of those and prepare ur bung

very strong coffee/ espresso

>>6533911
honestly suppositories work so much faster than anything else. Legit shits in about 15-20 minutes

>>6532116
Eat some fresh ginger root. Has compounds that increase intestinal motility. Chocolate that has a decent amount of cocoa butter in it works as well, though I'm not fully sure why.

My digestion is a bit screwed, and both of these things have bailed me out many a time.

>>6532122
You're a special snowflake large enough to sink the titanic.

>>6532116
Cup of strong coffee and a cig.

>>6532116
Drunk lots of beer. I haven't had a solid shit since high school.

Also eat a dick faggot.

a pot of coffee

>>6532116
Enema

>>6532116
Butter, alot of it. Or alot of Coffee

>>6532116
if you kill yourself, your bowels will void

Espresso.

Side note: anyone going to see Phish this summer? I'm going to Phish Dicks

>>6536023
>reusing a tired South Park joke
>still manage to completely butcher it
Comedic genius

>>6532116
Drink coffee

>>6536032
>bring this pleb

Phish's annual performance at the Dick's Sporting Goods Park is known as Phish Dicks.

>>6536045
Did you chuckle to yourself silently while hitting post? Did you really find this completely funny?

>>6536058
I don't know what you're so butthurt about. Stay mad, pleb.

>>6532116
>ctrl+f senna
>no results

Drink a cup of senna tea, OP. you can find it in most super markets, and in any health food store. It's a natural plant laxative. Drink at night before you go to bed, and you'll poo in the morning. Much less painful/violent than taking a laxative.

>>6532198

>>6536277

>a yard of feta cheese

Every time.

A can sauerkraut and you'll be pissing from your ass

just drink some coffee and make some eggs

>>6536277
>??am So many spiders
kek

>>6532116

>>6532116

Haribo sugar-free gummi bears. Eat about 15. I'm not joking they will cause an anal explosion.

>>6532122
>having a trip on the slowest board
>having a trip at all

>>6532119

Stay classy, /ck/

Boston market. I take one fork first bite of the side orders and im mentally preparing to shit in the bathroom

>>6532116
Three large glasses of psyllium husks in water. Half hour intervals.

>>6532116
Have a cigarette and a cup of coffee.

>>6532120
No they're not you tripfagging moron.

Hot coffee.

Milk will help if you can't tolerate milk.

Caffeine, beans, prunes.

Also drink a SHITLOAD of water.

Fuck, I think I'm going to go to macs to get some B&J.
Sucks they don't have any regular flavours without fucking chunks of shit in it. The other Ice cream mac's has is too expensive.