/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>6527275
>She makes it while I'm at school, a week before my birthday for some reason
>She wont stop telling me about how good it is over the phone
>Get home

You were sent to a boarding school at age 16?

Your parents don't love you anyway anon. No need to be disappointed in a shitty cake.

>>6527275
Your mom good intentions but jesus christ. The worst is giving her coworkers some of your birthday cake before you. And they all lied to her telling her was good.

My mom is a huge health nut and we never even had sugar in our house growing up but even on my birthday she would make or buy a big fatty cake full of fat and sugar for a special occasion.

anon that's the saddest thing i've ever heard
>yesterday
>went out and had a comfy walk downtown, bought rad art book that's nine years old and out of print
>buy shitty empanada because i felt like eating a little more culturally on a whim

oh it gets worse

>go home
>see plate of food
>five.. fucking five mccain fries and three small beef patties
>eat the fries
>take a bite out of one of the burgers
>dry, unappetizing

having food in the house is the one thing i get angry over and no matter how many god damn times i tell them to keep a well stocked fridge they can't comprehend it

i might sound like a little bitch but me and my parents have issues and thats the least that they could do

>>6527290
Yeah she's sweet, but yeah.

I could deal with that, sounds nice anon

>>6527286
Sorry I worded that weird, I went to highschool.
She made it while I was at school. She called me over my lunch and raved about the cake and I got home that same day.

>>6527275
>be 16

>>6527295
Jesus sorry anon, at least you got a rad art book.

>>6527306
4 years ago I was 16, what's the problem?

>>6527275
I just buy a slice from a mexican market once in awhile. Sorry anon, that sounds awful

>>6527350
My town is mostly hispanic, why didn't I just think of that.
It's ok

This poor guy...

>>6527724
At first I thought this a wheelchair kid's cake. This is even sadder, especially with the candy laptop.

>>6527724
I think the worst part is it's his 21st and the drunk one is his mom.

>Dad keeps telling me about a good Chinese restaurant that we should try
>"next time Dad", or "later dad"
>brings it up a lot how it's absolutely delicious and one of the best places he's been to
>owner of Chinese restaurant dies, reopens again a month later under new management
>we finally go together
>the teriyaki chicken he used to speak so highly of must have been cooked twice, because it was dry and in some parts chewingly tough.
>egg rolls were room temperature in the middle, We highly suspect that they microwaved it and then threw it in the toaster-oven for a few seconds
>appetizer came 10 minutes after the entree
>during the drive home my dad was pretty quiet
>never brought up his favorite Chinese food restaurant ever again

>>6527803
He disappointed in you, not the restaurant. While Cats in the Cradle played in his head.

>dad's birthday couple weeks ago
>we go to a steakhouse in koreatown
>nothin special, order surf n turf
>steak was well cooked
>lobster was okay
>Get bill
>lobster was $60
>I pay for meal
>dad drives home drunk

>8:30 P.m.
>friends feel like trying something new
>look up places online that are still open
>Oh, Anon, let's check out this Jamaican Food
> ...uh...alright.
>Drive over
>One of those little businesses in those fucking shitty little plazas
>Couple of African American gangster looking really shifty in front of the store
>Uneasy, but go in anyways
>Cashier / owner is a middle aged jamaican woman with silver died hair, eye brows and eyelashes were silver, and a full silver tracksuit
>insanely thick jamaican accent (allo deh-ah, wat can ah geccha hanneh?) I can barely understand what she's saying, but I can tell she's being very kind
>Order the jerked chicken special
>No one else knows what the fuck to get so they all get the same thing
>Food takes a long time to make, jamaican lady apologizes profusely (ah am so sahree sweeteh, deh cooks be takin abit longah dan u-zoo-al. go on and take summa dis heeah as an apo-la-gee) and gives us extra free food
>We all sit down to eat
>Rush of african americans come in and order food
>Suddenly we all feel awkward that a group consisting of 3 fobby chinese guys, 2 fobby chinese girls and me, a non fobby half chinese half hispanic guy are eating at a jamaican restaurant at 9:30 P.m. at night
>We take the food home and eat
>Original African American guys still there and keep eyeing us over
>It was insanely delicious and they filled the containers to the fucking brim with food, not even counting the extra side of stuff they gave us

Huh, guess it wasn't disappointing but just awkward and strange. I'd definitely go back, but not during evening hours.

>>6527956
so you went to an establishment owned by black people that serves black food and got scared that black people were there?
holy shit you're fucking retarded.

>>6527962

Not quite.

I got scared by the people outside who were acting shifty.

The people inside were friendly, but everyone was feeling self conscious because all their diners were staring at us for the most part.

>>6527956
Then why did you post in a food disappointment thread?

>>6527808
Thanks :( made me cry

>>6527724
What a disgusting family. I hope he gets out.

>sons birthday
>make cake
>substitute fat with coworkers semen
>son loves it, says thanks mom
>laughing our asses off

>>6527275
I just tapped into some cheddar I've been aging for about 3 months. It's bland and...disappointing.

I think I'm done with trying to make aged cheeses. Fresh ones are easy enough, but I keep getting my heart broken over months long invested cheeses.

It's just not worth my effort. :-/

>>6528205
That's actually really depressing, anon
I'm so sorry

>>6528214
I'd say it's ok, but I legitimately am really upset this time.

I sterilized the fuck out of everything. I did ph tests. I wiped those rinds 2-3 times a week. I checked the temp of my cave at least twice a day.

I'm really fucking disappointed.

>>6527275
>try to make tortilla
>make scrambled eggs instead

>>6528223
Holy shit I didn't realize how tedious cheese aging is

>Mom could never cook pork lions without making it dry and well done
>didn't matter, gravy was delicious
>Avoided pork when I got older
>Later try pork that looks amazingly moist. I had a wonderful revelation that pork is actually supposed to be that way.

>>6528237
Noice

>>6528232
I was wanting to take an apprenticeship up in Vermont for months, but maybe cheese making isn't for me. I guess I'm just a fucktard.

The worst part is that cheddar isn't all that complex, relatively speaking. Moldy cheeses are much more difficult.

>>6528267
Yeah you have to deal with injecting spores and shit

>>6527749
i didnt even think about that

my food disappointments are when i go to a shitskin restaurant and get 'mild' entrees because i don't want to deal with spicy shit covering the taste of the food but it comes out spicy as fuck anyway. so instead of getting to enjoy a meal i have to choke down shit you couldn't even feed to a dog. Asians seem to be the worst at this

>>6527803
>Know the owner of one of my favorite restaurants, Chun Li
>Amazing food, the guy is a great person
>Keep trying to get my son to come out with me, get some real food instead of those microwaved pocket things he always eats
>Constantly blows me off
>Take my mistress there instead usually
>She likes it
>Why can't my son just come and try it
>Just once

>Chun Li died last year
>Wary of trying the place again, it's under new management and probably has changed
>Mention it offhand during dinner
>Son finally pipes up, says he wants to go
>That Friday we go for lunch
>Everything is different
>Food is terrible
>See son making faces and picking at his meal like a 5 year old
>We choke down our food and I pay the bill
>Driving home I'm lost in my thoughts, thinking back on my life and my relationship with my son
>Realize we have nothing in common
>We might be related, but he is not my son

>As we enter our neighborhood he asks me if we can swing by McDonalds

>Never share anything with him again

>>6528310
what the fuck

>>6528292
>not appreciating spicy
Wow, your whole life is a disappointment

>>6528511
No where in my post did I even imply that. You must cook like shit if you need to chemically burn the taste of it off your tongue.

>>6527290
Now that's a good mother, keeping you healthy but giving you a nice treat every once in a while on special occasions. Best way to be raised, I'd say

One time when I was like 7 my dad said he was going to give me $20 for my birthday. Then my B-day came and he only gave me $10

It's not a big deal at all, but like wtf nigga y u so cheap?

>about 8 years back
>really want to try Buffalo Wild Wings
>couldnt drive yet, so begged sister to go
>finally go one day
>everyone loves it
>its just chicken with thick spicy vinegar
We werent poor, by the way, to eat fancier than BWW.
BWW was/is a big deal in small-town Ohio.
Protip: Don't live in small-town Ohio.

>>6528292
I have the opposite problem

>go to a restaurant craving something spicy and savory
>order something that is "3 peppers" hot on the menu
>waitress warns me that it's very spicy
>smile and say, thanks for the heads up but that's why I ordered it
>get food
>not even the slightest bit spicy

I feel like some Asian places overestimate the spicyness on their menus because they're afraid white people will complain lol

>>6528310
Kek

I imagined basically the same story

Nice job

>>6528604
maybe we need to change places

>>6528161
Anon, honey, no...

Chances are your dad was ashamed of the food. New management came in and fucked everything up. The restaurant used to be good, but then after reopening it was shit.

It's not you.

>>6528612
Maybe you're just sensitive to heat. I have a friend that can't handle mild salsa. I don't know how that is possible, but it happens lol

where do you live, btw? Some places are more willing to serve spicy things than others. It's a sliding scale

>>6528229
Wait, what?

Aren't tortillas a flour based wrap? A-Am I missing something here?

>>6528631
He's talking about a Spanish tortilla, which is closer to a frittata

>>6528625
>Maybe you're just sensitive to heat
how would you even define that? i eat spicy food all the time, but some restaurants legit ruin their food with it
im in charlotte nc

>>6528237
People get too bent about cooking pork. There's still that huge stigma about pork being even slightly medium well and it makes me sad. A slice of medium pork is amazing, it's so tender and juicy. And it meshes so much more nicely with whatever you wrap the pork in.

>>6528604

It is a real known thing that Asians will not cook white people spicy food

And if you call them out on it they give you sarcastically hot food instead, hottest than it would have been

>>6528310
D: Anon pls, this is too much. Food disappointment thread, not children disappointment

>>6528598
I mean, they don't ONLY have buffalo wings, do they? I've never been, but every other place I've seen that does wings have some variety in the type of sauce or breading.

>>6528310

>mistress
>giving up on your kid

Haha, what you tried to spark up your relationship with him after an adolescence of neglect and decided to blame it on your separate personalities?

>>6528634
Oh, that makes more sense. I'm confused on how that could be messed up, I've never made this before. It's probably adding the vegetables into the egg mixture while they're too hot, cooking the eggs? I'd imagine the full proof way would be to pour the egg over the vegetables in the frying pan, which literally makes it a frittata at that point.

>>6528657
>neglect
nice projection

>>6528637
Idk. Scoville unit?

>>6528650

There are 20-30 flavors along the spectrum from virgin heat to ass tearing, plenty of variety like Thai, carribean, Italian and such, but a lot of hit sauces buy nature taste similar

>>6528650
I guess I was just expecting god-tier dry wings.
And they have other things, but nothing as good as the wings (which are still mediocre).

>>6528689
Most of the sauces taste terrible. One time I was there I asked to sample every one of them, and the only one I liked was "Hot", everything before it wasn't hot, and everything after it had a funky gross sweetness to it.

>>6528704

Admittedly, no, I don't actually rate the wings as a "must have" myself but it's a nice place to hang out with friends

my aunt's from Vietnam

she asked me what i wanted to eat for my birthday and i told her a meatloaf (i like the stouffer's frozen ones)

whenever we go up to her house she makes a bunch of eggrolls

she presents me the meatloaf--

it's just a block of eggroll filling. ...

next year we go back

"do you want some meatloaf?"

"yeah!"

it's the same eggroll filling block from last year.

she fucking froze it and re-served it to me.

i just wanted a big meatball basically...

>>6528727
>it's the same eggroll filling block from last year
>she fucking froze it and re-served it to me

Alright that's fucking devious.

>mom tried her hardest to cook but was just plain bad at it
>grew up hating vegetables, or prefering to eat them raw because they were always mushy
>grew up disliking eggs and potatoes
>grew up hating rice because she always boiled it into pellets of rubber
>mfw I moved out and discoved that all of those things were actually good if you cook them right

>>6527803
My story is the exact same as this except it was my mom and she died before we could go. So many people have invited me since but I just can't bring myself to go

>>6528973
Holy shit, are you me?

>>6528727
D E V I L I S H
E
V
I
L
I
S
H

>>6527956
>Cashier / owner is a middle aged jamaican woman with silver died hair, eye brows and eyelashes were silver, and a full silver tracksuit
That sounds incredible and she sounds like a sweetie.

>>6528292
That's one of the reasons I like pho joints. They give you the bowl and it's up to you how much sriracha you use.

>>6527295
You sound absolutely insufferable.

>>6529138
Right? Everything about the dialogue just felt so endearing. Like some kind of person who wants to be everyone's grandmother or aunt and is just the sweetest thing and you cant help but smile and be happy because got daym 2sweet4disworld

>>6528528
generally some spice is good, i have a bottle of something that wither 500k or 800k Scoville on hand, but it sadly has an intense olive taste and goes with very that i eat well... the problem is when you spice something to the point that taste is gone...

heavy spice does not compliment everything, and its easy to make something to hot, but yea...

>>6528604
just as disappointing when its not spicy enough and you are prepared for milk being a necessity.

-----------------------------

about the only disappointing food story i have is fuck pork chops. i swear to god that is the dryest fucking shit to ever grace the planet earth and has a taste that i have to mask with copious amounts of A! steak sauce just to down it.

it doesn't matter how its cooked, its fucking horrible all round.

>>6529045

>in a Guy Fieri thread
>read through posts
>everybody is bashing him
>except for one post where the poster said how neat he thought Guy was and how he wants to hang out with him
>reply to him, saying that I think the same way
>get a reply notification
>realize that I just replied to my drunk-as-fuck self from the night before

>>6528205
>>6528223
blessed are the cheesemakers

>>6527724
Oh God, something similar happened to me

>birthday a good 13 years ago
>get to go to nice restaurant for the special occasion
>at the time I had terrible anxiety that sent me in to panic attacks
>tell parents I don't want anyone to sing me happy birthday
>mom assures me there won't be any singing
>dad promises he won't do anything
>family knows I hate being the center of attention
>especially my dad
>my fucking dad
>have a great meal, but there's a lot of people around and I want to leave
>and just as it ends my dad speaks up
>"anon, order some dessert!"
>n-no, it's okay
>"it's your birthday. order what ever you want, buddy."
>order something small
>it's been a while, what's taking so long
>waiters come over with the dessert, people turning around and singing along
>feel my cheeks and ears getting hot, the prickly hot flashes all over my body
>I feel the panic attack coming
>dad wraps his arm around my neck and laughs
>mom shoots him the glare of death and says his name in a hushed, angry hiss
>start to hyperventilate
>the singing goes from joyous to clearly wondering if they should keep singing
>the torturous song finally ends
>sibling blows out my candle for me
>at this point I refuse to look up at all the people staring at me
>feel tears welling up and don't want to show the whole restaurant my pathetic face
>mom arguing with dad in a hushed voice
>dad puts his arm around my neck again and shakes me a little
>"that wasn't so bad, was it?"
>we drove home that night to mom and dad yelling at each other
>continue arguing at home
>dinner sucked the joy out of the rest of the day
>ended up crying in bed out of fear they were going to get a divorce because of me

>Birthday
>Go to mediocre Mexican restaurant
>Reluctant to because most mediocre chain restaurants sing happy birthday to whomever
>Sitting with grandparents and gf
>tell everyone in advance to not tell them its my birthday
>waiter comes up
>gf sais "ITS HIS BIRTHDAY"
>youfuckingbitch.jpg
>food gets here
>finish eating and ready to go
>coast is clear or so I thought
>pack of five Mexicans wearing sombreros come out of nowhere and start singing
>I don't speak Spanish so I have no idea what they're singing
>only one Mexican smiling while singing
>everybody in the restaraunt is obviously annoyed with the incessant singing
>after song is over boss Mexican places a sombrero on my head
>grabs a bowl of ice cream out of nowhere and starts throwing it on my face with a spoon
>grandparents and gf laughing their asses off
>exit building
>Mexican chases me down in the parking lot and sais I can't keep the sombrero
>mfw

>>6528292

wow dude thats embarrassing

>the mild ones
>hot

and youre not even in asia. are you a manlet or a girl?

>>6530572

heh

>>6530952

:'(

hope youre better now

>>6531131

lmao

>>6530952
I know how that goes. When I was like 12 or whatever it was just a small thing at my grandparents house, both of them, my dad, and me, and I'm in the kitchen standing next to the cake, the jacket pulled up over my face to hide it as they are coaxing me to come out and take pictures with the cake. I just cannot stand being the center of attention. Even now I don't like answering the phone when my mom calls on my birthday because I know she'll say happy birthday and I hate it. It's such a stupid holiday.

>>6530952
Your mother should have kept her mouth shut. I think your father tried to give you a bit of tough love for your birthday, which sounds like the one thing you really needed.

>>6531131
>>grabs a bowl of ice cream out of nowhere and starts throwing it on my face with a spoon

wait wat

>>6528237
>be kid
>mom makes pork chops
>it's just Shake 'n' Bake tossed with the chops
>tastes really crunchy and dry
>she serves it with this god awful sour yellow sauce out of a jar she loves
>think that's the way it's done, so time after time force myself to eat it too even though I hate it
>eating it dry would probably have been worse anyway

It wasn't until I was late teens I found how pork chops were supposed to taste. Like yours, very moist. Even so just the thought of pork chops brings to mind that awful sauce and I never eat them.

>>6530572
Fuck I've done that in IMDB, only the time gap between posts was like a year. I just got really into reading the thread and I didn't even check the names.
>hey this guy's making some great points, I should back him up
>write the post out
>re-check the original and realize what I've done
>alt+F4 and go straight to bed

>>6528650

What the fucking fuck is with "buffalo wings" anyway?

Who decided that it was cool to describe chicken wings as "buffalo"? What the fuck does that even mean???

>>6531131
Good build up, amusing climax, hilarious ending 7.9/10

>>6531287
They were invented in Buffalo, NY, unless that's just an urban legend. CBA to check it myself.

>>6531287
Look at this man and laugh, everyone

>>6528576
>having a black father

>>6531131
I would cut that girlfriend out and just never speak to her again. No explanations.

If she's going to break the trust at that level, just get out now before she hurts you real bad.

>>6530572

tbh I've always had a fondness for Guy, so there are two of us

>>6531257

You don't "tough love" someone who gets panic attacks you communist nazi jew nigger.

>>6531255
>she'll say happy birthday
> such a stupid holiday

Are you a queen or a king or something?

>>6531326
>You don't "tough love" someone who gets panic attacks you communist nazi jew nigger.
No, instead you baby them and coddle them and tell them everything is alright and that they're a special little snowflake!

Fucking kill yourself. At least your dad will be proud of you for taking some initiative.

>>6531393
You're a moron with zero understanding of how people work. Guarantee you've never actually "tough love"d anyone in your life

>>6531403

>>6531266
Im trying to imagine what yellow sauce goes on bad pork chops.

any names?

>>6531414
Oh so I was right. Cool

>>6531403
>Guarantee you've never actually "tough love"d anyone in your life
You're a retard if you think people should be coddled. That's how we've gotten these "your rights end where my feelings begin" faggots let out into the wild. Go back to tumblr, princess.

>>6531431

>>6531437
Thanks for letting us all know you have no idea how to interact with people and have never had a girlfriend

>>6530952
You sound like a pussy faggot, let me guess, dark hair over your eyes, wears dark jacket 24/7? Your parents were being nice to you, and then you fuck up.

>>6531393
I'd say the least you could do on someone's birthday is to not put them in an uncomfortable situation.

>>6531444
And thank you for letting us know that you're a permanent resident of the friend zone and you carry a wide selection of fedoras.

>>6530572

I've almost done it.

>>6531255
Do what I've done the last few years and just turn off the phone for a few days until people forget about it again.

>Every day on my birthday makes me choose everything I want for it, puts me at center of attention
>Food, drinks, restaurant or homemade, cake
>Hate all of it, hate attention, hate making decisions just for my benefit and no one elses
>Asking anyone else what they'd prefer gets a "Oh anon you choose, it's your birthday!"
>This makes me more anxious and worried I'll pick the wrong thing
>For a long time just picked the same thing every year to avoid the anxiety of the decision
>Started hating it, didn't know what else to pick
>Start saving up a few hundred bucks the weeks before my birthday
>Now just leave town for a few days every birthday, schedule overseas vacations on my birthdays

I've told them repeatedly I don't want to celebrate my birthday, but they never listened. Worked out fine, stress free three day vacation instead of choosing and choosing for a bunch of people. I probably sound selfish, but oh well.
Mom only makes people celebrate their birthday because her mom dated a mormon once and refused to let her celebrate hers, so now she wants everyone to get a birthday.
I've tried to tell her she's doing the same to me, but in reverse but she doesn't get it.

>16th birthday
>brother gets high on smack and starts a big argument at home while we were preparing to go out to eat for my birthday
>he was mad because he was a fucking junkie and someone said "no" to him
>i say something that triggers him
>we get into a physical fight
>we beat the shit out of each other
>cops called
>he gets arrested
>family goes to red lobster

nobody talked or ate anything besides me. food fucking sucked. red lobster is garbage. haven't gone out for my birthday since

>>6527724
holy shit. i don't often post on /ck/, but i'm fucking bawling at this post. i'm gonna go fucking kill myself now.

>>6531532
Why did you still go out after that?

>>6527724
I honestly would have just done this:
>U-u-uh, I have to use the restroom
>leave the fucking restaurant and go somewhere else

When the parents would come looking for you, if they didn't realize they were exploiting the occasion just to have fun with no concern for their child, you would just go back with them and then never associate yourself with your parents after you turned 18.

Seriously, a birthday is a celebration of your birth, not an excuse for mama to drink half a bottle of tequila. You are expected, at the very least, to tolerate the bullshit and say thank you. But never again would you have to associate yourself with morons like in that story.

>>6531541
dysfunction becomes normal after a while

things have been better since my brother overdosed, however

>>6531532
>>family goes to red lobster
yeah, that is pretty fucked up. that place sucks

>>6530952
Damn anon. Damn...

>>6531554
>>6531532

My mom would always take me to Red Lobster for my birthday too. In our town it was the classiest place to go unless you wanted to blow $30 on a plate, and she couldn't afford that. Whatever, shrimp and rice are cool.

Can we have a birthday disappointment general?

>be 21
>be back home with no friends because all friends are at college
>"Fuck it, I'll go to the city, get a hotel, and drink to my heart's content!"
>go to city
>accidentally bump my car into someone else's
>have to pay him $200 just to make sure he doesn't tell the insurance company
>"Well, at least I have the rest of the day."
>go out to a few bars early, get a few drinks (I actually got a few free drinks, so not the worst possible outcome)
>meet up at a bar
>bartender keeps approaching me, giving me signals
>"Would you like to go to a bar and help me get around this town after your shift?"
>"Sure, Anon! Just leave your number. I close the shop at 1AM"
>drink a little bit
>have to head back to the hotel to cool off since it's only 7AM and I'm drunk as hell
>sleep in for 3 hours
>get up
>shower
>get something to eat
>go back out
>all the bars close by 12AM in this city (WTF?)
>it's 12:30
>only one karaoke bar left (where I met the waitress)
>drink there alone just trying to pass the time, thinking this girl might actually hit me up
>see fat sow sing
>request a song
>that fat sow sings shitty 5 times in a row
>"Alright folks, see you next Monday!" (Did I tell you it was a fucking Monday)
>"B-b-but, I requested a song."
>"Oh sorry kid, we didn't have it."
>bar begins to close
>"Hey, is that girl here any longer?"
>"Oh, sorry. She left a few hours back."
>bar closes
>I start walking home
>some guy approaches me on the main street
>"Yo dude, you want to buy some Sour D?"
>"Sure."
>I'm already drunk as fuck and I clumsily walk with him a few blocks over
>I give him the money and he gives me a brown bag
>it is literally filled with hay
>he runs off with $90
>I go to the hotel
>fall asleep, sad, alone, and without bud

It was my 21st birthday and it was the saddest point that entire year.

>>6531566
Sounds like you're a fucking moron, actually

>>6531571
It doesn't help that you're drunk most of the time. I made a lot of bad decisions that day. The only upside was that the hangover was only minor.

>>6531566

>>6531571
well he tried...

>>6531566

I hope you learned all of the lessons this night exposed you to.

>>6531622
Don't make purchasing decisions when you're drunk.

Bitches are hos and tricks.

>be turning 22
>birthday
>parents inform me we're going out to dinner to celebrate
>inform me
>not ask if I want to, not ask where I want to go
>inform me that we're going out
>they've already picked a restaurant
>and it's one they know I don't like, some mediocre-at-best place that gets by on sometimes-okay but mostly terrible food combinations

Look, I would have been happy to go to dinner with my family if they'd at least let me pick the place on my own fucking birthday.

>>6531622>>6531571
don't listen to these fags, dude.

when you're drunk and alone and sad as fuck, you're likely to be a bit more trusting than usual.

>>6531420
I couldn't remember at all so I called her. Apparently it was Henri's salad dressing that she used to buy in Milwaukee before moving to California. I don't remember this bottle at all, but I guess back in the 80s it looked different, but this is it. She said it's got poppyseeds in it.

>>6531680
Filtered.

>>6531680
I'm generally naive, but it was really bad that night. I probably could have gotten myself killed. I gotta' man up, I guess.

>>6531680
Go appreciate my indie recs in /daily/, fag

>>6531683
I'm sorry, did the tripcode trigger you? Let me wipe the tears off your third chin for you.

>>6527306
how do that computer bleeding?

>>6531536
the one time you post, you feel the need to trip

god you guys are such fags

>>6531544
i'm so sorry dude
i'm sorry that it had to be like that
don't you ever touch drugs
you're beautiful

>>6531777
not liking trips is not an uncommon thing
nice trips though ;)

>last year, little before Thanksgiving
>buy a frozen ice cream/cookie cake that's been clearanced for no particular reason
>decide to bring it to one of the family Thanksgiving parties but I forget it at home
>a week or so later one of my bosses gets a promotion and has to leave our workplace
>nobody knows what to get for her but I volunteer to bring in the cake so we can have a little goodbye party
>literally the day I tell my co-workers of my plan I leave work and walk into the kitchen to see my mom eating a piece of the cake

>>6531779
It's the sword that's bleeding.

>>6528650
I grew up in a small ass town in northeastern ohio. Bdubs was the place to be on the weekends to drink and eat. They have regular wings and breaded, along with "naked" which are just tendies dipped in sauce.

That being said, it was well worth it to drive further away for Quaker Steak.

>>6531810
You should be thankful your mom was acting as a suitable guinea pig. I'd be wary of any ice cream cake that was that old.

>be in texas
>always wanted to go to in-n-out burger
>couple built in san antonio
>fuck yeah
>go and have a burger
>so excited
>mouth fucking watering
>*nom*
>...
>this is literally just fucking whataburger

>>6531890
I keep telling people. I've been so disappointed with InO time and again. It's just your typical fast food burger, nothing more. I don't know why that place gets so hyped. When the first one opened in my town the drive through line wrapped all the way around the place and out into the street. They had to get police to divert traffic. Fucking WHY??

>>6527275
Not related to the thread. I can't remember the exact date but I remember we were once watching Malcolm in the middle and my cousin came in and said that Dewey had died a few months ago. I was freaking out because I was really young and not quite grasping the concept of death. I was wondering how I could see him on the television while he was actually dead. It sucked because I thought he was a cool kid. I always thought he knew how to play the piano like in the show.

>>6530572
BAHAHAHAHAHAH! That's fucking great.

>>6531536

Hi there!

You seem to have made a bit of a mistake in your post. Luckily, the users of 4chan are always willing to help you clear this problem right up! You appear to have used a tripcode when posting, but your identity has nothing at all to do with the conversation! Whoops! You should always remember to stop using your tripcode when the thread it was used for is gone, unless another one is started! Posting with a tripcode when it isn't necessary is poor form. You should always try to post anonymously, unless your identity is absolutely vital to the post that you're making!

Now, there's no need to thank me - I'm just doing my best to help you get used to the anonymous image-board culture!

>>6527275
>mom gets me cake with fruit in it for 7th birthday
>dont really like fruit in it but i eat it, was still good
>ask mom for plain chocolate cake for next birthday
>for the next 15 years never bought a chocolate cake
>gets mad when i dont want to eat cake with fruit, 'forgets' i dont like the other cake
i know it sounds like nothing to get mad over but i mean goddamn. i just wanted a tiny ass chocolate cake

>>6527724
>tfw none of my friends remembered my birthday when i turned 21
>they all went to a huge party and didnt invite me
>didnt even have a family party
>mfw
it was an ok birthday actually.
i bought myself a dr pepper and i played some video games.

>>6528727
you should have asked her for a big meatball made with beef you dingus, vietnamese meatballs are legendary

>18th birthday
>tell parents all I wanna do is have dinner at IHOP cus it was literally the only place I could get a decent fried steak
>was spiraling through depression, sleeping til 3 pm every day
>literally could not get out of bed before 3
>sister wakes me up on the Sunday before my birthday at around 11 am
>tells me parents are waiting for us at IHOP
>so incredibly mad that I had to wake up and endure the church crowd
>they were out of fried steak

I don't even remember anything after that, or why it pissed me off so much. Normally I would have just gone wit whatever but I remember being so absolutely infuriated

>7th birthday
>my mom asked me what i want, i say i want a huge cake with raspberry filling because it was my favorite fruit
>she spends half the day baking a 3 layer cake, using expensive ingredients from a bakery store and all from scratch
>kitchen is so hot from the oven that when she starts to assemble the cake it starts to fall apart
>it's completely ruined now
>i get really sad that i didn't get what i wanted
>she goes to the store and buys me a cheesecake, and dresses it up with fresh raspberries, strawberries, and homemade whipped cream
>it was delicious and for the next 20 years it's a tradition to have a cheesecake with strawberries and raspberries on my birthday.

>mfw having an awesome mom

>>6532277
You been mad, because you had depression. It was set that something would annoy you. Its impossible to satisfy you in this condition. Just happens that it was the first thing.

>be me 13
>very sad because just found out a few weeks ago that parents are getting divorced and the family is bankrupt
>slipped all of my money into my mom's purse the day I found out, foolishly thinking that 50 bucks or something would help
>finally happy for once because my birthday is coming up
>parents don't ask what I want and I didn't want to ask for too much since I knew the situation
>birthday comes around, so excited
>get home from school and no one is home
>hmm that's weird Oh well
>8pm rolls around still no one home
>dad comes home and immediately goes into the basement without saying a word to me (he lived in the basement the entire time through the divorce it was bad)
>mom comes home with pizza and says she's sorry she was out late
>didn't mention my birthday
>no cake or ice cream or card or present
>cry and eat pizza in living room
>dad comes up from basement and takes slice of pizza
>mom sees him and flips shit saying how the pizza is not for him and she bought it, etc.
>dad makes motion like he's about to hit mom
>mom encouraging him to hit her so she can call cops on him
>don't know what to do, frozen with fear and trapped in living room since they're right passed it
>things die down and the cry myself to sleep.

Life was really never the same after that. I hope I don't sound like a whiny bitch with this story but I had a pretty great childhood up to the divorce so everything that happened after that with my family life was quite a shock. I know plenty of people lived in worse situations growing up than I did.

I'm never going to forget my children's birthdays.

>>6532335
that's tough anon

>>6532292
I wish I had a mother..

And special birthday meals

>made pho, it was meh
>guy at work was like well you didn't make it right stupid gwai lo
>tells me to try it from vietnamese place x
>try it and it's meh
>pho confirmed for stupid white people shit.

>>6531899
its not amazing food, but it has a good quality/price ratio.

A meal there is a couple dollars cheaper than a similar meal at Mcdicks or Jack or Wendys, and doesnt make you feel disgusted with yourself while/after eating it.

>>6528237
My mom couldn't cool hamburgers or pork to save her life. I always choked it down whenever she made it though so she didn't feel bad. She was a great cook for most things, but goddamn she cook not cook some meats properly. Ruined hamburgers and pork for me. I've had good pork since, but I can't bring myself to eat hamburgers.

>>6531266
my parents generally knew how to cook... i refuse to believe that the only thing they fucked up irredeemably is pork chops... i have never eaten one form anyone that wasn't dry as fuck shit.

>>6531911
Erik isn't dead tho.

>>6531502
me and my parents have an understanding... i hate going to restaurants. i hate waiting on food in them, i hate ordering, i hate eating them.

so we have a home cooked meal, something everyone likes but is a pain in the ass to make so thats their way of going out of their way for me.

and for cake... i don't like cake much, my teeth are shit and my stomach can't handle shugary shit anymore on any quantity worth making a cake for. so instead, oatmeal cookies.

>>6531532
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QXrFKksZeRo

>birthdays

Yeah no, Fuck that shit. I make myself scarce on my birthday. I have 24 hours to be completely unreachable every year. I go into the mountains and spend the day until it is over.

>>6527962
He did the right thing, he didn't relax. He followed standard procedure.

>>6530952
>>6527724
>>6531131

My mom and I used to do that to my brother all the time. He was really socially awkward when he was younger and hated being the center of attention so we used to randomly tell the waiter it was my brothers birthday here and there. Finally one day he threw the cake on the floor, called us assholes, and stormed out of the restaurant, the game ended after that. We didn't mean any harm by it, it was funny.

>>6532764
That shit really isn't funny, m8. Anxiety and depression aren't something to fuck around with.

>>6532746
every time on my birthday i change my facebook settings so nobody can post on my facebook page wishing me happy birthday

>>6532771
>having a Facebook
That was your first mistake.

>>6532769
>go to San Diego with GF
>we eat a chocolate weed edible and go to an awesome bbq spot
>IPA's and ribs on fucking deck
>she starts to freak out, spills drink
>have to leave early
>she starts vomiting in the rental while we are listening to lil b
>spend next 4 hours caring for her
dont give your girlfriend edibles

>>6532769
I think it was funny.

The look he'd get on his face of "I can't believe you two jerks did this again after you promised you wouldn't do it any more!" was priceless.

It was ever funnier when we didn't do it, and someone else just happened to have a birthday because he'd panic for a moment when he heard the singing and then realize it wasn't for him.

>>6532779
You're just an asshole and a shitty brother.

>>6532781
anxiety isnt like a real thing. kid's just gotta stop being such a pussy

kinda like you..........

>>6530952
At least your family actually kinda tries to not make you the center of the attention.

Mine thinks if they keep pushing me into the spotlight whenever they can, I'll somehow end up enjoying it.

>>6532791
Top kek. Grow the fuck up.

>>6532626
dude... get 1/3lb hamburger, cut up some onions and mix it together

get some american cheese and melt it on the top and bottom of the bun and sandwich it.

for 1/3, it takes about 8 minutes to cook, cut it open and check, the meat should cook till just after its pink

the onions help to make the meat more tender, and you can put extra salt or pepper on it along with whatever else you want on a hamburger...

i personally put a bit of misses dash table blend on top, some pepper, little salt, and ketchup along with a layer of pickles.

its almost impossible to fuck up a hamburger so long as you cook on a flat surface... do not grill a hamburger, its either insanely hard to do it right if not impossible, i have never had a grilled hamburger and came away wanting another, meanwhile cooked on a george forman grill... fuck i cant get enough.

>>6532776
for most people its the only way to stay in touch with family and friends... thankfully everyone i give a shit about i can talk to in person.

>>6531899
stay mad east fag

>Work in the family business
>Invited out to nice place with step-mom and father since to celebrate company doing well and giving me a raise
>Step-mom says "Oh anon, since we gave you a raise you have to pay for your own meal"
>Don't have $40+ to pay for it on me, already ordered/eating it.
>"We'll just take it out of your paycheck."
>My dad gave her a look, but I can tell he only agreed to not start shit in public
>Food was good, but seriously, I could just as happy eating anything else that isn't so fucking expensive
>mfw

>>6532827
Step mom is a class act, son.

>>6532827
On the flip side of that, I cannot ever pay for the meal when going out with my parents. Even on their own birthdays. One time I gave the waiter my credit card in secret before we even ordered and it pissed the parents off.

>>6532764
Serves you right, hope you got as embarrassed as you made him feel all those years. If you never had anxiety or panic attacks from being the focus of a large crowd it feels like you want to literally die on the spot. It's one of the worst feelings I've known. It goes beyond just being "socially awkward".

>>6532849
Everyone needs to calm their tits. It's not a big deal, it was years ago, and my brother is no worse off for it.

>>6532859
As far as you know.

>>6532859
Until the Christmas day where little brother ambushes family members with an ak47 one by one as they arrive for festivities.

>>6532859
>It's not a big deal
Maybe not for you, asshole.

>my last birthday
>mom asks what sort of cake I want
>either a chocolate caramel tart or that awesome strawberry cream cake that this bakery near us has
>the tart has always been great whenever she made it
>she decides to do the strawberry cream cake
>instead of getting it at the bakery she makes it herself
>normally really like her cooking
>cake has really mushy undercooked texture, not light and fluffy
>strawberries old
>frosting too rich and just bleh
>eat part of it, pretend to be full
>I'll have some later
>a day or two later, have more to be polite
>it's even worse than before
>she asks if its not good
>lie and tell her its great but I'm just full

>>6532791
You now have to post a link to your doctoral dissertation on this topic.

Because, you know, apparently you have some grasp of this concept that had not been seen before in the field of Psychology so it must have been pretty easy to get a PHD.

>>6528310
lmao

>>6532885
>field of Psychology
lolquacks

>>6532906
>baiting this hard
>people falling for it
kek

>>6531448
can you try not to leak your edges all over the place

>>6532885
it's one of those papers you have to pay money to see in it's entirety sorry

>Birthday, about 8 years old
>Discovered cocktail weenies in the store about a week prior, amazed that you could just BUY those
>Invite best friend over for pool and video games
>Hit up pool
>As we're leaving, discover we've spent the entire day in pool
>Only 30 minutes left for video games before his mom picks him up
>As we're walking back, discover feet are bloody and raw from water+gravel
>Struggle not to cry in front of friend
>Barely get to play any vidya
>Cocktail weenies were mediocre

>>6532771
I just set my birthday as February 29th.

Dreading next year..

>>6532937
It's strange what little things can impress a childs mind.

Dreading birthdays seems to be a common thing on 4chan. Even I dread mine.

It's sorta depressing.

>>6532937
I remember the discovery of cocktail weenies. I was visiting my grandparents once (a rare occasion since they lived like 800 miles away) and while shopping with my grandpa I saw them for the first time. They were like miniature bite-sized hot dogs you could just eat without any fuss or bun. It blew my little kid mind. They were cool, but I think I got tired of them pretty quickly.

>>6532943
My birthday is just before Christmas.
That time of the year is nerve-racking.

>Father has custody
>It's my birthday during this period
>Wake up on birthday
>Waiting all day for party
>Think it's going to be a cool surprise party just like in my favorite sitcoms
>Nope
>Dad, grandparents, uncles all forgot

And that's when I stopped going to Dad's house.

I came here for food, not feels.

>first meal home after getting dumped and moving back after a 5 year relationship
>mom asks what she could make to help make me feel better
>ask her for some of her amazing chicken parmesan, the shit used to be perfection
>go there the night of the dinner
>"Oh we stopped eating chicken a few months after you left, this is Eggplant Parmesan"
>wonder why the fuck wouldnt you tell me that when I asked for it
>fuck it, eggplant is pretty good
>its barely cooked and the skin is still on
>they used meat sauce
>cheddar-colby jack mixed blend instead of mozzarella
>"This is our new recipe, its so much more original than our old chicken one"
>eat it anyway to not seem like an ingrate

>>6530952
Aw fuck I can relate to this so much. Someone is just trying to do a completely normal, everyday thing to make you happy, something that a normal person would enjoy and look back on as a fond memory, but you're such an abnormal anxious fuckup that its actually negative to you and you suck at hiding how uncomfortable it's making you so everyone else is uncomfortable too and you end up ruining the moment just by fucking existing. Your dad should really have known better though, at least on your birthday. You can't make someone normal by thrusting them in the spotlight against their will.

>>6532981
>"Oh we stopped eating chicken a few months after you left.

W-what?

>>6532981
>>6533045
Why did they stop eating chicken? I could understand beef maybe, but why chicken?

>Had moved out about 5 months ago
>Thanksgiving is coming up, want to have it at my place because my parents cooking is a little underwhelming
>Mom insists she has it at their house
>"Please anon, it will be so nice to have you at home again and cook you a homemade meal"
>How sweet, ok mom. Sounds like they are going to try to step up their cooking game for Thanksgiving
>Come over
>Watery instant mashed potatoes (literally spread out across half the plate when scooped onto it, like slop)
>Au Gratin potatoes from a box
>Turkey so dry and overcooked it sticks in my throat when I swallow
>Have to smother it in clumpy instant gravy to not choke
>"Th-thank you mom, it was delicious. You are a great cook."
>Mom appears very happy and proud of herself

At least she was happy, but Thanksgiving is happening at my house this year I am not taking no for an answer.

>>6533086
>two types of boxed potatoes

For literally what conceivable purpose? It takes 5 minutes extra to use fresh. I just.. what.. why.

>>6532764
You're an asshole.

>>6528666
You have to shake the pan to ensure the egg doesn't stick (so you can flip it later)
If you do it wron the whole thing sets weird and you're better off turning it into a scramble at that point

>>6531899
thats cause you live in Texas or something far from the home base.

Ive been to a couple in TX or even Norcal and its just shit compared to SoCal.

But like the anon said, its mainly good for price/quality ratio. Though I feel whoever orders animal fries should be burned at the stake. Have tried it twice and that shit is so disgusting I couldnt finish it

though their fries in general are bretty good

>>6533108
It certainly fucking does not take "5 extra minutes." Instant mashed potatoes are literally mix in bowl with water and microwave, the au gratin potatoes have a powdered cheese mix instead of grating your own etc. Haven't even gotten into the increased cook times.

>>6529182
Man... puting sriracha to pho instead of chilli peppers (and limes/lemons)

>>6533156
No the other guy lives in Texas, I live in CA. I don't care if it's native to the region, it's a boring fast food burger that is not worth it. Carl's Jr. is the superior west coast fast food burger.

>>6533217
If you need longer than 5 minutes to make mashed potatoes you might have some mental or physical disability. You boil the potatoes, drain them, mash and season them. The only food easier to prepare is toast.

>>6533156
Maybe if they want to be considered a good company, their quality control should extend outside the tiny, narrow region where the owners live.

>>6533247
To be fair, doing all that takes more than 5 minutes...

>>6533261
I wasn't counting waiting for the water to boil since you can be doing other things during that. But even with cutting the potatoes it shouldn't take more than 10 minutes tops. There's not excuse not to spare 10 minutes at Thanksgiving.

>>6527275
>Be me
>Drunk as fuck
>Get home in the morning from a party
>Shit, I should prepare green lentils for tomorrow
>Water in, lentils in, fire on
>Fall asleep
>Someone wakes me up pretty harsh
>Five super cops above my couch
>Smoke everywhere
>Wut.jpg
>They think they found a meth lab
>Super confused me says I was just cooking
>They are sure they found a meth lab
>Still drunk and confused
>trying to give them some money for the unnecessary emerge from the super cop station
>They think that I want to bribe them
>Firemans and ambulance arrives
>30 people in my flat
>They find the burned lentils
>lel this guy is no cook

The lentils were pretty dissapointing

>>6533247
Have you ever actually cooked with potatoes? It takes like no time to boil them if they're sliced the same thickness, but it takes at least 20 minutes of prep for maybe 4-5 lbs of potatoes, depending on their size, and thats not counting boiling water. Washing, drying, peeling, cutting, and soaking if you need to remove the starch for actual good crispiness, which takes like 30 minutes minimum. Au Gratin takes even more seeing as its not boiling and. Cooking potatoes are simple, yes, but its more time consuming than the majority of simple shit like toast or omelettes. I'm not defending an instant-based Thanksgiving meal, I hate that shit, but proper potatoes are not quick.

>>6527724
Lol

>>6533334
>peeling

Well you fucked up already.

Also drying and soaking? What kind of gourmet shit are you trying to copy? Just throw them in the hot water, you don't need them dry or soaked first to go in. You're making mountains out of molehills, not mashed potatoes.

>>6533348

And you really try to accuse others of being a retard, kid?

I'll bet your "five minute potatoes" are the ones you throw in your mom's microwave you fat fucking NEET, after all, "" what gourmet shit are you trying to copy? ""

>>6527956
>avoid restaurant because of majorities enjoying food
Yep that sounds like the U.S

>>6533360
You sound like the kind of guy that would put a garnish on Cheerios to class it up. It's mashed potatoes, not some intricate science no matter what Alton Brown told you.

>>6531293
He propably locked up in a dog pound too

>>6532335
iktfb

My parents said they were getting a divorce a couple day before my 13th birthday. I've never felt the same about them since.

>>6527295
I want to punch you

>>6532238
nobody likes fruitcake

>>6532277
bc you were woken up 4 hours early to go sit in a restaurant full of churchfags. i'd be mad too.

>potluck at work for x-mas
>we all decide on what everyone brings
>say I'm going to order sushi in the morning and pick it up at lunch for everyone
>older lady I work with says she can just go order it for everyone and for me not to worry about it
>just trying to be nice so I agree and bring salad
>day of potluck ask her if she needs help ordering the different kinds of sushi
>"No, don't worry I already bought it yesterday to save time"
>g-gr-great...
>sushi is dry as fuck, only california rolls
>lady mentions she doesn't eat sushi at all cause she hates raw fish

>>6527295
>buy shitty empanada because i felt like eating a little more culturally on a whim

I agree with the other Anons. You are insufferable.

>Be 15
>In the deep south
>cute korean girl in my class
>Girls are bitches to her
>Other guys just trying to get in her pants
>I feel bad for her and start talking to her
>Turns out we love the same games and shows
>Her family opens a restaurant
>Amazing food at good prices
>My favorite place to eat
>We end up dating for a few weeks
>Goes well until one day she suddenly breaks up with me
>Tells me she is switching to a private school
>Wont answer calls or IM requests
>Go to her families restaurant to eat
>Her mother tells me I am not welcome there

To this day I have no idea what caused this and that is the most painful part.

>>6532859
#TRIGGERED

>Be 10
>Mom asks me what kind of cake I want for my birthday
>Tell her I want carrot cake
>She says she'll make it
>Okay cool
>Come home from school on birthday
>Carrot cake is an unfrosted brick that's just bread with shredded carrots in it

And every year between then and when I moved out, I requested a store-bought cheesecake.

>>6533627
>15, deep south
>korean
>private school

prents thought you were a negative influence

>>6527275
>It's my birthday today
>I had stomach surgery a couple of weeks ago
>Still can't eat solid food
>Family came round for a meal
>They seemed to enjoy it
>I had runny oatmeal
>I can't eat the cake
>Have mashed strawberries instead
>Mom gives me my present
>I open it
>Not even fucking joking
>It's a goddamn fedora
>"Thanks mom"

>>6533627
They didn't give you the dog as a pet dumbass.

>>6533654
>dog
What?

>>6533638
I dont see why. I was a straight A student and ended up being valedictorian of my senior year.

I always guess that her parents wanted her to date another Asian guy and when they found out we were dating they were like "lol nope"

>>6533639
>>Not even fucking joking
>>It's a goddamn fedora
mfw

>>6533658
Have you never dined with Koreans? They bring dogs to the meal like white folks bring wine, in the civilized parts of the country anyway.

>>6527295
>having food in the house is the one thing i get angry over and no matter how many god damn times i tell them to keep a well stocked fridge they can't comprehend it

assume you meant "no food". but fuck you, you ARE a little bitch. if you can type a whiny sniveling post on 4chan, you can cook your own food or write wtf you want on a shopping list and go fucking get it. i mean there are obviously reasons they aren't stocking the fridge to your satisfaction, and no matter what they are, it's on you to improve the situation. limited money, hate seeing food spoil, tired from working all day, whatever. even if they're just lazy, so the fuck are you, pussy, so stfu.

>>6533596
>day old sushi

She's lucky she didn't kill anyone with that.

>>6533639
>mashed strawberries

the fuck does that taste like

>>6533881
If I were a betting man I'd wager it tastes just like strawberries.

>>6530952
Jesus fuck op, get a fucking grip. No wonder you are such a autistic failure.

>>6532614
this is why I like habit. 3 dollar burger, lots of fresh vegetables. good sear on the meat. toasted bun. perfect for its cost.

>>6533881
strawberries you dumb fuck.

>>6533280
>this guy is no cook

>>6533263
I'm >>6533217 this guy. I never said it wasn't worth the time. Instant potatoes are garbage. You said it only takes 5 extra minutes though which is just false.
>Peeling
>Cutting
>Boiling
>Mashing/mixing.
These can take 5~ minutes each.

>>6533866
Only california rolls so nothing actually was raw. Day old sushi just tastes like shit and is super dry.

>>6533247
Boiling potatoes alone takes at least 10 minutes, and that doesn't include scrubbing, peeling, mashing them physically or with a mixer, tasting, seasoning, tasting, seasoning. I'm not saying it's hard but don't be ridiculous. Instant potatoes are shit but they're way faster.

>Inna Army as a PFC
>wife knows I'm hating life every day
>Platoon smokes the shit out of me for my birthday
>We're in the swamp lands, and im doing low crawls and other dumb bullshit while they cheer and sing happy birthday
>day finally fucking ends
>hop on my bike and slowly peddle home
>get home, wife is stil out
>shower, slap on pajama pants, fall asleep on couch
>feel her cool lips on my forehead
>i flick my eyes open and she has a little gourmet cupcake, nice bottle of wine
>im happily nibbling at my cupcake
>she makes me french toast for dinner, my favorite, then sucks every drop of semen from my love pouch

I fucking hated my platoon.

>tranny
>disowned by my parents
>send them a gift on their birthdays, Fathers/Mothers day and for Christmas every year
>haven't heard from them in 3 years
>just found out they moved 2.5 years ago

>>6534180
I'm always here if you need a friend. I love trans people and I'm really easy to talk to. Ill leave the light on, okay? Seriously get back if you want to exchange gmails or whatever works best for you since we both browse /ck/ so there's already something we both have in common. Sorry you were disowned. We can discuss that.

>>6534182
Sorry, I can't get over how much of a massive faggot you are

>>6534180
So if they moved why are the gifts not being returned to you? Usually if the name on the envelope doesn't match the one on the mailbox the delivery guy won't leave it.

>>6534188
I'm bi-queer and I wouldn't mind knowing you on a really personal level if things came to that. Don't let my history of being a hard ass intimidate you. Like Gordon Ramsay I'm really a sweetheart trying to get people to improve themselves. Your story makes me think you need a guy like me's should to cry on. I promise I won't let you down.

>>6527275
>16 or so years old
>Live for ~6 months with intermittent episodes of a resting heart rate around 165 bpm
>Body had episodes of being overrun with a deep and unrelenting burning sensation, hands and feet would turn red
>Can't function in heat, body doesn't sweat noticeably
>Find out I have multiple severe food allergies
>Stop eating almost everything and find out quite literally everything processed in any store is essentially not edible
>Survive, issues with addled train of thought and heart rate disappears
>Other issues remain
>Had suspected MS since I was ten, kind of hoped I'd die and never have to deal with such things
>Decide to rule that out, multiple MRIs later and there's no sign of any lesions or prior demyelination
>Keep chipping away at my already limited diet
>Trigeminal nerve pain that made me near unfunctional (resembling type 2 trigeminal neuralgia)
>Get drunk consistently for the next two years
>Pain gets worse
>Finally stop, eating almost anything seems to either bring it on, garble up the inside of my head, or make bodily function worse
>Was already thin, barely ate for the next year, lost 30 lbs, ended up ~105.
>Could see all my ribs, collarbone jutting out, etc. Sat down in the shower one day and looked at myself and just sort of noticed how fucked everything was.
>Kept working at the diet angle. Lots of pain later, I've got everything more or less pegged.
>Still have episodes of pain. I ditched the medical angle and never figured out what causes it, I suspect the nerve root is pinched between a muscle and perhaps a blood vessel. Anxiety and muscles clenching up tends to make it worse.

Food is a thing of utility. And it is very disappointing.

>TFW I've never had a birthday party
>TFW the only two occasions I can remember of my dad buying me birthday cake he ended up being the only one eating it
>TFW he gets me a chocolate cake after I specify that I do not like chocolate cake
All you faggots need to check your birthday party privilege.

>>6534205
I was exaggerating a bit.
They split up and she still lives there.

I don't know what happens to his gifts I send there

>>6531899
When Popeyes opened in my town, there were people standing in line for 3+ hours waiting to get some fried chicken. They'd be about the same tier as Bojangles, if Bojangles didn't have god tier biscuits.

>>6534240
It's cool bro, the last time I had a b-day party I was like 8 years old. I'm 28 now.

>>6528237
>Pork lions

>>6527956
>being evidently afraid of black people and calling them "African Americans" to try and act like you're not
disgusting

>>6531131
Oh man I'm not socially anxious or anything so I wouldve thought that entire experience wouldve been hilarious. I love it when my gf does stupid stuff I tell her not to, and just imagining you running away with their sombrero! Thanks man, I really enjoyed laughing to your story.

>>6534294
That's why I call them "people of recent African descent" instead.

>>6532777
I love you anon

>>6534240
>be 7 years old
>get a puppy for my birthday
>name him Don because Donatello is my favorite ninja turtle
>parents wheel out a triple layer chocolate cake
>I'm ecstatic
>eat it off and on throughout the day while I play with Don
>decide he'd like some too
>he loved it
>that night go looking for him
>he's dead under the bed from the chocolate

I don't like chocolate cake either anon.

Also that's not funny captcha.

>>6534338
>Buying a 7 year old a chocolate cake and a dog at the same time
>Without explaining to the 7 year old that dogs shouldn't eat chocolate
Your parents had some nice priorities. Also, I just don't like the taste. I don't really like chocolate ice cream either.

>>6534338
You fucking murderer

>>6532777
I feel bad when I consume weed and my bf doesnt, but I once had to convince him I wasn't a skin changer when he was high and I am not going through that again.

>>6534367
Just a question. Does he get really burnt and "dumb" after getting high, then enter a depressive phase a few days later?

>>6534374
No, he just appears to get paranoia during. Usually he just thinks people are doing things to mess with him. He was also drinking during the skin changer thing thought so that probably didnt help.

>be me
>week before 9th birthday
>tell both of my parents that I really want a cake and nothing else
>day of my birth
>get called to the dinner table
>look down to a piece of toast with bananas and chocolate sauce all over it
>didn't want to seem ungrateful so I smiled and said that this was as good as cake for me

Turned out that my parents forgot to get the cake

>>6534438
Did you at least get a cake the day after?

>>6534438
How poor are you?

>>6534438
Uh, so they go out at get it. Even some Hostess cupcakes at 7-11 would've been more logical that chocolate toast.

>>6534396
I see. What I described in my question was more or less how weed was for me. I haven't smoked since my teens, so I'm not sure how it'd be now.

I also didn't really like being looked at, prompted, or made any kind of center of attention. It'd pretty freak me out. Your post just caught my interest because it resembles episodes I've had while "sober", specifically the idea of a skin changer. That part does have a neurochemical basis that is possibly addressed via diet, but if it's only when he smokes it's likely something else.

Weed just doesn't work with some people. Too bad, I kind of liked the moonwalking personally.

>be me 1.5 years ago
>turning 21, 8 months into my first year in australia for uni.
>dating vegi/vegan/my diet is fucking retarded gf at the time
>really just want to get drunk as fuck, cook myself a steak and potatoes type of meal.
>because of shitty diet, exgf can't eat normal potatoes and doesn't eat meat. also doesn't like drinking anymore because she whored herself out in france for for a year
>she gets a whole chicken instead
>roasts vegies badly
>invites all of her friends and family
>have 2 drinks, shitty dry chicken and vegies
>hate everyone at the party so i just sit there silently listening to the terrible conversations

>"wasn't that so much better than getting drunk anon?!"
>just wanted to get properly american 21st drunk
>instead had one of the most awkward birthdays of my life
>didn't even drink enough to get buzzed.
>miss my friends so fucking much

Good news is my current gf is the raddest mf on the planet, sex, weed, alcohol, laughing all the damn time.

>>6533372
my dearest, sweet, naive boy
YOUR mashed potatoes are disgusting glop which can be used successfully as wallpaper glue because they ARE wallpaper glue
proper mashed potatoes are light and fluffy and don't harden into a disgusting mess as they cool down, because someone took the fucking time to fucking do it right

>>6533048
>>6533045
I never bothered to ask, but I assume it has something to do with how nuts obsessed my mom is with birds. Maybe she finally found out about shitty chicken farms or something.

I guess I've had some disappointing birthdays, actually pretty much all of them I guess.

>Every year they bother me about what I want to do for my birthday and I always say "let's get pizza" because why bother hoping for something more.
>One year we go out for pizza but only my mom and grandmothers go with
>no one talks to me
>they insist on bringing presents so every stranger can see an adult male opening gifts in a pizza parlor.
>they got me socks, socks, and more socks because the only thing they know about me is that I have feet.

>>6534783
You do have feet Anon. I'm glad they knew exactly what you had!

Imagine if you were a cripple without feet and they got you socks. That would have sucked a lot more.

>>6532814
But he's right anon. Anxiety is a bullshit diagnosis experienced by insufferable fucks who are used to getting trophies for getting in sixth place.

>>6534838
Anxiety is real, but unfortunately a catchall blanket diagnosis that's overused to push people onto meds that only mask other issues.

Anyone denying this is likely an insufferable fuck on the other end of the "moron" spectrum.

>>6534838
You're fucking retarded. I miss the days when you'd get ridiculed for even admitting to having friends to 4chan, let alone a girlfriend or even going outside and being social. /r9k/ is usually wrong about most things, but they got it right when they argued that normalfags are what's ruining 4chan.

>>6527275
>tres leche cake
>used only coconut milk to keep it healthy

>>6532981
>cheddar-colby jack mixed blend instead of mozzarella

>>6532277

your brain can't do emotions around depression. It's like it's forgotten how they work and in the meantime the tiniest thing can either send you into a boiling rage or send you into a 3 hour crying on the floor session

>>6534848
Sorry to say, but normalfags have been here since the early days. I personally knew 50 or so people in my high school graduating class that browsed 4chaj regularly. Not only talking about /b/. The majority of the people I didn't know still got 4chan memes. This was around the time of all your base.

>>6531393
>hurrrrr there are only 2 ways to approach something and the 2 are EXTREME opposites of each other

Wow, your life must suck hard.

>>6534848
>autist detected

Anxiety sufferers are just people who can't handle life. Social anxiety is the worst. I mean millions of years of evolution within a social construct in order to propagate the most successful species on earth and the pinnacle of this planets creation and your fucking allergic to being around people? I can't imagine a bigger type of failure.

>>6534897
Oh also I really like steak and ketchup or whatever the stupid ass meme of the day is.

>>6534897
>References autism
Do go on to tell me about deficits in theory of mind and language acquisition, then expand that to include your thoughts on models involving abnormalities in dendritic spine formation.

>Anxiety sufferers are just people who can't handle life.
Sometimes? Sometimes not. Anxiety, and people's response to it, can often be traced to a hard neurological basis. People can learn very complex coping mechanisms and change how they psychologically manage it, sometimes even avoid it arising to begin with, but other times that intrinsic remains and can only be counterbalanced.

Social anxiety is in the same vein. You need to bear in mind, your idea of the modern human is not some perfect result of evolution. We've always had flaws. And modern society along with these ridiculous levels of population pressure and complex social shit is very recent. Along with shit diet, of course it's going to expose holes in our viability. Our ecology and context has changed, not everyone deals and to be blunt, there's no problem with that.

>Allergic
I'm just going to take this as a figure of speech.

You know very little about what you're talking about. Fix that. Expand your mind a bit.

>>6534338
I teared up after reading this anon

>>6533280
>>trying to give them some money for the unnecessary emerge from the super cop station
I have a similar story

>come from wealthy Australian family
>father ALWAYS tipping people, even the damn mailman
>This + American TV shows make me think tipping is completely normal in every day Australian life
>It's not
>Moved out of home at 19, living in small apartment
>Entire apartment block is uni students
>Wild parties at least 3 nights a week
>Almost always the same two police officers coming round to tell us to turn it down
>Always (innocently) offer them a 'tip' for their trouble
>They always take it
>Three months later I'm taken 'downtown' and interrogated by three walls of muscle for four hours

Apparently the two cops I was accidentally giving bribes to were also taking bribes from three drug dealers and a rapist. My name came up somewhere in the proceedings which made them think that I was also a criminal. I was honestly just naive.

>>6534997
>Accidentally giving bribes
Jesus christ, how sheltered were you?

>>6535004
In all honesty, I was pretty sheltered. Coming from a wealthy background I had everything given to me from an early age so I didn't have normal social interactions. My parents were also super protective of me, so most of what I learned about social life was from TV shows.

>Go to Mcdonald's for the first time and sit down at a booth
>Leave after half an hour because no one has come up to take my order

>Have girlfriend for first time
>Her mum brings us both some food
>"I thought you said she was your mum, not your maid"

>Go to petrol station and park at pump
>Wait for someone to come and pump my petrol for me
>Person in car behind me starts abusing me
>Drive off confused

I also once called RACQ roadside assist to pump up my car tires.

>>6535013
Holy shit, what your parents did to you wasn't sheltering, it was child abuse.

>>6535019
I wouldn't go that far. They were good parents, just way too overprotective.

>be me
>ausfag
>schools over, on schoolies with friends
>we decide to buy some food from local shop
>oh shit son, giant caramel tart for 3 bucks
>buy it
>back at hotel, start cutting it
>huh, little bit crumbly, wonder how it is
>takes bite
>.....
>that is no fucking caramel
hard as shit, tasted like pure hardened brown sugar but even sweeter, dear god i felt sick afterwards.

>>6535013
To be fair, the petrol station one is actually a law in some places(ie. an attendant must pump).

Then again, you said petrol and not gas, so you're probably not an American

>>6535135
I'm Australian and it definitely isn't the law here, but that makes sense because I think I must have gotten the idea from American television shows or movies

>be me
>get korean bbq chicken recipe from grandma
>bought gochujang pepper paste specially for it because she told me it was amazing
>marinade chicken breasts for 36 hours
>grill it
>tastes like a vaguely spicy standard barbecue sauce and not even that good
I'm gonna try tweak it a bit by adding a little five spice and fresh chillis.
Will post the recipe if anyone's interested

>See people always talk about egg drop ramen
>Do it...mix up egg, drizzle into hot soup as recipe said, finish cooking, looks just like it did in the photo, cool
>Eat it
>It sucks

Fuck you /ck/

>dad invites me to an all you can eat sushi place for our usual meetup (my parents are divorced)
>it's some special offer he got over the internet for about 10€ per person
>the restaurant is located in some turk-infested ghetto neighborhood of the town and looks cheap
>sit down at the sushi belt
>during the hour we spent there we have about 2 pieces with acutal fish (thin and dried out salmon)
>the rest is a mixture of cucumber "sushi", chicken wings, orange slices and other random food items
>we leave with my dad saying it was "not bad"
I didn't expect much from 10€ all you can eat sushi but holy fuck

>>6534338
what?
what kind of captcha is that?

>>6535179
>he hasn't had a food capture yet
It's a pain in the ass, that's what it is.

>>6527275

>local strip joint starts Sushi Tuesdays
>all you can eat sushi for $5
>lasts one Tuesday

>>6531131
was it los compadres?
that food nearly killed my girlfriend because they load up on that MSG.
and shes deathly allergic.
My parents also took me there once but I thought the food was crap, mostly because holy shit were mexican and were fucking paying for BASIC mexican food, not even good shit but just fucking basic.
though they gave me 3 cake flavored tequila shots instead of ice cream.

>>6531566
are you serious?

>>6531131
that was good

>>6531223
Wait, where do you live? I love in SoCal and legit thought Los Compadres was only a local thing.

>>6535621
Shoot, I was on mobile and I replied to the wrong person. I meant to reply to >>6535212

>>6534343
To be honest I don't even really like ice cream. Everyone calls me weird for it, literally everyone I've told but apparently people just can't have food preferences. I'm not a picky eater and I don't hate ice cream, I just don't go out of my way for it and that makes me weird. I care for ice cream cake even less. That shit sucks.

>>6534997
So the police tell you to stop making noise and you tip them? I could maybe, remotely, understand if you had called them and they made other people turn off the noise so you could sleep, but certainly not if you were their intended target. Even as an American, it's common knowledge you never give police money. You tip your waiter, barber, the delivery guy, and that's about it.

So how much community service did you get off with?

>>6535138
Yeah, in the '50s it was common to pull into a gas station and get free full service - gas, windows cleaned, oiled checked, etc. That knocked that off decades ago because no minimum wage attendant can be assed anymore. There's only a handful of states where they are required by law now to pump your gas - Oregon and a couple others, I forget which.

>first time in Oregon
>need gas
>pull in and get out, swipe card
>reach for nozzle
>guy comes RUNNING up to me telling me to BACK OFF
>completely stunned
>he's the staff telling me I'm breaking the law if I pump my own gas
>think he's surely joking, I mean fucking seriously?
>he's dead serious
>get back in car and wait it out

I still hate the idea. I don't like them fiddling with my car. I'm more than capable of doing my own gas, I have been for years.

>>6533227
I was thinking the same thing

>>6534180
Haha weird shit you deserve it

>>6535747
OP of thread here, I live in Oregon and I too personally hate waiting for the gas attendant. I want to pump my own gas like a grown man, god dammit.

>>6535739
I honestly thought it was the right thing to do. I was never the one throwing the parties (as I said, I was pretty socially awkward), but I was never the one calling the police either. The first time I 'tipped' them was because one was complaining about having to leave his 'pregnant and ill fiance' to have to come and tell us to turn our music down and I felt sorry for him. It just kind of became standard procedure after that.

>So how much community service did you get off with?
There was no concrete evidence that I was 'tipping' them and my record was (and is) squeaky clean. It seemed like they didn't really have anything on me, but they were trying to find out if they did by bringing me in. My father literally had a panic attack when I told him I talked to the police without his team of lawyers present haha.

>>6534180
pls be in davis