/ck/ - Food & Cooking

I used spoiled peppers in an omelette I fed to my ex gf after finding out she cheating on me and she ended up getting very bad food poisoning.

I put animal fats in vegan's orders

I add extra salt
I like Miracle Whip sometimes

>>6361157
Chemical warfare. You are devious.

>>6361171
I put pork fat in Jewish and Muslim orders.

I put seamen in cream sauces

>>6361182
I put my fat dick into ham sandwiches

I touch my food to my chin before each bite

i drink expired coffee & get massive heartburn & dont give a fuck

>>6361200
let's do lunch

I peepeed in ur coke

>>6361200
You're supposed to do that.

>>6361182
muslims have this thing when it isn't sinful if they don't eat it deliberately

you dun goofed

>>6361157
Good.

>>6361171
Doing God's work.

>>6361171
>mmm this is delicious vegan cookery, I will recommend to all my vegan friends
>hundreds of vegans unknowingly eating animal fats
This hypothetical scenario got me hard

>>6361171
Yes because fucking with people's food is always a good thing to do.
How about I spit in your food next time you come to my restaurant? Not like you'll ever know.

>>6361376
Jimmy cracked corn and I don't care
also:
>implying I'd ever eat out after what I've seen and done

>>6361376
You seem upset.
Are you vegan?

>>6361208
>i drink expired coffee & get massive heartburn & dont give a fuck

coffee can expire?

>>6361376
vegan are scum
who cares what they think

Sriracha ranch is my favorite condiment.

Also I stuck mayo on a hot dog this morning.

>>6361446
>Also I stuck mayo on a hot dog this morning.

Fuck yeah

I mean, some things sound weird but I figure whatever works, works

One time I tried putting mustard and ketchup on my fries and they were the best damn fries I ever had

Ever since then when I go to burger joints I ask for a little cup of mustard so I can get ketchup and mustard on my fries

Mayo is also good but I prefer mustard

>>6361200
Robert?

>>6361582
:)

>>6361171
I do this too.

Whenever someone vegan/vegetarian comes over, I make sure to cook with duck fat.

I put garlic, thyme and butter in everything.

>>6361626
I don't know about thyme but Garlic and butter is good on everything as far as I'm concerned

I cook almost everything with bacon fat/butter. I'll probably die earlier but i don't see why not when you dont need a neutral taste

>>6361409
Not vegan, just think it's wrong to put things in people's food without their knowledge.
Sure it may not hurt them but it's still a shitty thing to do.

>>6361786
>fruit salad

>>6361900
ok anything not-sweet

and butter is even good on most desserts

>>6361824
you just said why not, because you're going to die earlier

>>6361951
>because you're going to die earlier

Sure you can live a few more years

But without butter would you really have lived?

>>6362701
Deep thoughts by Jack Handy

>>6361187
Seek help.

>>6362701
>living requires specific foods to be happy
So every day of your life, the time between meals when your not eating is not living? Sucks to be you, i guess.

>>6362756
it was a bit of humor you autist

learn to identify a joke

>>6362718
Dad always said laughter is the best medicine. Which is probably why several of us died of tuberculosis.

I work in a high end restaurant and gas station nachos are one of my favorite things to eat.

>>6362812
I feel you. I can cook anything and everything but I have a huge soft spot for boxed mac n cheese.

>>6361200
Robert Romano detected.

I don't really like steak.

I killed my mother and got away with it and had some strawberry poptarts

I like bovril and peanut butter toasted sandwiches.

>>6361150

I go out to eat with my buddy and talk about sex with women and tell dirty jokes until a family is seated next to us - then the contest is to see who keep talking filthy while the family is being seated before switching to talking about history - it's a weird type of chicken. And it is fun!

Example: We're on the bed and just then her little sister walks into the room and asks whatta are you guys doing? and my girlfriend says, playing Subway, wanna help us make a sandwich? and the her sister says sure, and jumps on the bed with us and starts taking off her training b - and even though Gutenberg was Catholic he had no idea that his printing press would become one of the major engines for the Protestant Revolution, spearheaded by the mass printing of Martin Luther's Ninety-Five Theses on the Power and Efficacy of Indulgences.

My weakness is plain Goldfish crackers. I can nearly eat a whole bag in one sitting.

>>6361150

I drink this because it's anus flavored.

>>6361150
Disgusting use a plate

>>6363443
10/10 would bro with

Mashed potatoes and bananas make me heave

>>6361150
I'm vegetarian

>>6361911
>key lime pie

>>6361182
There's nothing wrong with a jew or muslim eating pork if he isn't aware there is pork. They're not allergic to it.

>>6363906

I teach first grade, and for snack time I'll bake a batch of Dirty Sanchez cookies and then let my kids smear the chocolate frosting mustaches on them with their fingers.

A girl gave me a blowjob at a party in highschool after she had eaten a Payday or some chocolate bar, and I was allergic to nuts. Really fucked me dick up. Dick felt like it was on fire so I ran out of room with my dick hanging out of my zipper in my hand with everyone looking, Glad I didn't know anyone there.

>>6361171
Holy shit I thought I was the only who does this.

>dyke looking piece of shit walks in to a restaurant I work in
>starting ordering shit that isn't cater for vegans >with that pretentious face, she starts verbally claim she's a fucking vegan out loud and demands for vegan friendly food
>start cooking with bacon and duck fat for everything
>blend bacon bits and sprinkle very lightly on everything

Godammit I fucking hate vegans

>>6363954
I visit indian restaurants often and sometimes I would like my veggies with other sauce than those listed in the vegetarian menu, I see no reason why I should be getting this kind of hate if I asked nicely

If you're ever stuck in some undergrowth in your underwear, don't stop to think of other words that have'under' in them. Because that's the first sign of jungle madness.

>>6364008

wat?

>>6364008
rambling man! it's been awhile

>>6364001
You can order off the menu or go somewhere else, snowflake.

>>6361150

Begone you filthy maggot.

>>6361150
I lick the spoon when I mix batter, even when I'm baking for other people.

>>6361376
rofl vegan detected

I eat my boogers every day, I love them, best homemade snack.

>>6361900
>he doesn't garlic butter his fruit salads

>>6364074
and I get a meal full of bacon and animal fats... why does it have to cause such a flamewar everytime I say I don't eat meat (and no, I'm not going around telling people that I'm a vegetarian and everyone else should be too)

>>6361620
Chef is that you

>>6361171
I know you guys hate vegans/vegetarians, but please be cautious about this. I'm not vegan or vegetarian really but I avoid meat and dairy products because they fuck me right up (lots of stomach issues) and I've ended up in the hospital in excruciating pain because some chef wanted to spite an annoying vegan and put meat in my food. I understand special orders are annoying, but you wouldn't put hide peanuts in someone's food if they had a peanut allergy, would you? I can only eat out at fancy frufru ethical vegan places just so I can be absolutely POSITIVE they won't put meat in my food for lels.

>>6361150
I salt my watermelon like a nigger. It's delicious.

I eat my meat well done

i make myself puke?

>>6366253
I thought that was an Asian thing?

I use canola cooking spray extensively, especially when frying eggs.

I don't like IPAs

I eat french fries with ranch.

I eat tomato paste straight from the tube.

I have a child's palate and can't taste nuances that I often invest into my dishes.

I feel like most meals can be better with some form of dairy, generally cheese.

I lick spoons, dip my fingers in sauces and generally practice really poor food handling, regardless if I'm cooking for myself or other.

I really enjoy having steak, eggs and a couple beers for breakfast.

>>6361150
>Eating and shitting in the same place at the same time
No.
Uh-uh. I don't even need to read the rest of the thread because you're already the nastiest motherfuckers around. Get your act together.

>>6367250
I've always wondered how this tastes

>>6363883
>most

I drink my coffee black so people think im cool
its so fucking gross, i just want a vanilla bean frappucino from starbucks, but if i get one, i cant make fun of people that get gay drinks at coffee places

>>6367633
If you're this much of a faggot about your coffee I can't even think about how cancerous you are in your other activities

>>6367647
If there's an adult nearby, have him explain sarcasm to you.

>>6367677
>I was only acting retarded

Fuck off retard

>>6367689
>retard

I'm not the aspie who doesn't comprehend simple humor, sport.

>>6367707
>Trying to convey sarcasm without it's vocal component

Yeah, you're a retard

I can't cook anything aside from simple shit like bacon and eggs, or steak.

>>6367765
You're too dumb to realize how dumb you are.

And that's funny.

>>6367765
I'm not the one who posted it and I got the joke immediately, you hockey helmeted, drool cup wearing, short bus denizen.

I got one of Starbuck's brithday frappuchinos,
It was basically a vanilla shake with pink whipped cream.
I pretended not to be delighted by the pink whipped cream.

>>6364025
What's with this meme?

(Please explain)

I'm afraid to experiment but I like cooking. It's dumb and I need to grow a pair.

>>6363443
I was in that thread. I wish I'd screencapped somrcdxdvhchchxrzhfj

>>6364400
Well you're doing it here, which suggests that, hey, yeah, you probably do feel the need to bring it up fairly often

>>6367261
Like chicken wings, probably

>>6362776

40gateaux.jpg

I lick my plate after eating if alone.

>>6366368
Fuck I thought it was an old southern grandpa thing

>>6369816
So you lick it clean after every meal

>>6369984
Kek

>>6367633
So many emotions, so little time.

I eat pizza using a fork and knife.

>>6361150
I eat Mayo with my pizza

>>6361150
Are you that guy that was dumped by his GF because he always ate dinner on the toilet bowl?