/ck/ - Food & Cooking

With a smile :)

>>6254388
is carbonara where u cook spaghetti in a carbonated beverage?

>>6254392
Yes and worms crawl out of it

Lots of cream, garlic, turkey bacon, parsley, and don't forget the green peas.

>>6254388
Most people use a premium brand like Ragu or Prego, but when I really want to impress I make it myself: with fresh cream and real bacon.

>>6254392
>>6254396
>>6254401
>>6254402

>>6254391
This, with additional grated cheese and crushed peppercorn on top.

>>6254402
>>6254401
OP asked how to serve, not how to make. :3

>>6254402
What the fuck, did you just imply the notion of buying premade carbonara
You fucking degenerate
I am viscerally fucking disgusted
You lazy cunt it doesn't even take long, there's nothing difficult, what the fuck is wrong with you are mental challenged or something
And fresh cream? Real bacon? You're not fucking implying you'd use substitutes or bad ingredients or something
Eugh
Fuck
I'm filled with the most profound hatred
My heart rate's shot up and breathing's gone shaky
That's how fucking disgusting you and subhuman vermin like you are to me
I actually want to fucking come to your house, make an enormous batch of actually fucking good carbonara and forcefeed it to you until you die
FUCKING HELL

>>6254388

on a plate with a fork

:^)

nice thread

>>6254417

R U a grill? I invite you to come over and take away all my cream.

>>6254388

Carbonara is one of those traditional comfort foods that is best when done in the tried-and-true method. No cream, no Kraft parmesan-like cheese substitute, and a non-smoked pork product such as pancetta please (I've heard you can simmer bacon in water to remove the smokiness but I've never actually tried). The only real trick is not letting your pasta cool to the point where it can't turn the eggs into the creamy textured sauce the dish is so famous for. It's for things like this where it is best to learn your cooking techniques from a more experienced chef. I was lucky enough to have been taught by my grandpa, who was from the old country. The trick he taught me as a young man was to simply test the sloppy mess of egg noodles and cheese with an erection. If the mixture is too thin and frictionless as to give to pleasure, poor luck, you'll have to try again. If the creaminess was such that it brought you to orgasm, magnifico!, you have made a carbonara. This only has to be done until you can tell the quality of the dish without your manhood, and really, what's a few spunked carbonaras compared with a lifetime of delicious carbonara?

>>6254510
>tfw when I never shared erections with grampa when i was a young by

>>6254510
>>6254510
I need to try this out.

>>6254510
I want to cum inside carbonara

On a plate...?

I love carbonara. It's my favourite food.

What you put when its ready it doesnt matter, what matters is to blend the ingredients together and make sure the Pasta is still searing hot when you do it, plus, you want to cook the eggs slightly.

The recipe requires you to put pecorino on it, which has a much stronger punch than the parmesan cheese, but thats up to you, i prefer cheese myself.

>>6254388
In Italy with a very strong coffee chaser for the argument with other patrons about the proper and only way to serve each italian dish.

>>6254388
with some rosemary

>>6254564
The thread ended here, people.

Stop posting.

>>6254865
no

>tfw this thread will eventually turn in to a cream or no cream shitposting fight.

my body is ready.

>>6254875
>eventually

you're hours late to the party, batman

>>6254388
On a plate. Bowls are also acceptable. Carbonara must never be served with hands or directly on the table.

>Order carbonara
>Get creamy bacon mushroom spaghetti

Damnit man carbonara is one of the simplest pasta dishes out there, how do you fuck it up so bad?

>>6254887
sorry. i am tripping balls a tad.

>>6254933
>>6254875
>>6254791
>>6254510
>>6254401
That's not the correct way to do carbonara, the proper way is eggs, cream, parmesan, salt, and pepper into the sauce, all whisked together, then chop up the pancetta and a few cloves of garlic nice and small, then when it's ready to go get the spaghetti into the water and shortly after start the pancetta, no oil (the fat is enough) in a wok, then when that's getting there add in the garlic and once they're done turn off the heat and let them sit in the wok until the pasta's done, at which point strain the pasta then add to the wok, mix it up and pour in the sauce, mix it in and in the likely event that there's liquid in the bottom then put the heat on low and continue mixing it in until the sauce has been reduced to the correct amount, not congealed but not pooling either, then serve while still warm and top with salt, not pepper or parmesan (that's just barbaric!).

Really, what would italians know about carbonara anyway?

>>6255063
is this sarcasm? it's sarcasm, isn't it?

>>6254401
>turkey bacon
>parsley
>GREEN FUCKING PEAS

I WANT TO CUT YOU UP AND FUCKING GUT YOU LIKE A FISH FOR SAYING THESE INCORRECT THINGS ABOUT MY FAVOURITE DISH ON THE INTERNET

>>6255063
This is correct, yeah, I've always done it like that, glad to see someone who isn't a fucking mongoloid about their carbonara

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XjHkybaxqKY&index=33&list=PL9FAFD6F19865C359

>>6254388
On a plate.
Your mileage may vary by how pretentious you are

>>6255170
In a bowl of the correct size and shape you fucking plebeian jesus christ

>>6255176
I can't tell if you're joking or if you're a massive twat.

>>6255189
Neither, there's a correct way to do these things,, and cocking up something as fundamental as carbonara is completely inexcusable.

i miss carbonara

>>6254510
>The only real trick is not letting your pasta cool to the point where it can't turn the eggs into the creamy textured sauce

Did you ever even make it? The typical noob problem is that the pasta is too hot and/or you just have not enough egg mix so you end up with noodles covered in scrambled eggs.

In the butt.

>>6255962
Wrong, retard, see >>6255176

>>6254440
>Artesian water
Does a w

>>6255893
i don't understand how that happens tbh. i put pasta water in the pan with the pancetta so that it stops cooking, then drain the pasta, then put it in the aforementioned pan, then put the egg-pecorino mixture over. works every time. i don't see how the pasta could still be too hot, except maybe if the flash did it.

Would you like your slam burger in a traditional sesame bun, in a taco? In a taco? A waffle? Or flat which is really trasitional flat bread,

>>6255063

pls be joke and not a serious amerilard

This thread is so full of bullshit.
I am italian, born and raised in Rome. I'm going to tell you how it's made:
>no oil
>no garlic
>no onion
>no cream (seriously wtf)
>no spices other than black pepper

Crack a fucking egg open (1 egg per person, you fat fucks), put it into a fucking bowl and start smashing the shit out of it with a fork until it's as dense as horse semen. Then you sprinkle some salt, some black pepper and some motherfucking pecorino (NOT parmesan, parmesan with carbonara is an insult, in Italy you would be stabbed by greasy and hairy men if you they saw you putting parmesan on carbonara) and keep shaking that shit up until everything is mixed the right way. Then you slice guanciale (NOT bacon you fucking pleb scum) into pieces the size of a newborn baby boy's penis (NOT in small dices as this will make the fat burn when you cook it), you put the guanciale into a clean ass pan (NO oil, amerilards) and you fucking cook. Make sure that the pan is already warm when you put the fucking guanciale in it. Cook it under a low/medium heat (so you don't make the fat evaporate) until the fat turns slightly transparent, and if the pasta is still being cooked, STOP cooking the goddamn pork meat. That makes the difference between a pro tier carbonara and a cheap ass carbonara. When the pasta is ready, you throw that shit up in the pan with the guanciale, and you cook it for one minute using a wooden fucking spoon to mix the pork meat with the pasta so that the pasta absorbs all the flavor of that sweet fucking fat. Then you turn the fucking heat off, you move the fucking pan away from any source of heat, you splash everything with the egg sauce, you mix and you fucking serve.
this is it faggots

>>6258179
>being this pretentious about noodles with bacon and eggs

>>6258179
>Italians

>>6258202
we happen to have the best food in the world, i can be as pretentious as i like

>>6258179
I suppose your post is one of the reason why Italy is doing so bad

>>6258208
Ayy lmao
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6FiRjxaNTWM

Made this today. Just egg yolks and pecorino.

>>6258223
i stopped watching at the onion powder bit

>>6258179
So apparently carbonara is italian for pig cheeks, picanaro and egg? I didn't know it was such few ingredients. What's the closest replacement for guanciale?

>>6258208
>we happen to have the best food in the world
As much as I love authentic, true italian food I have to say french and vietnamese are both better. Italian is a close 3rd.

>>6258248
sorry, korean is masterrace. it's followed by indian, which is followed by thai, which is followed by tex-mex, which is followed by mex, which is followed by american, which is followed by spanish, which is followed by french, which is followed by italian.
quit being a faggot

>>6255063
why did you include me in your post? i chose no sides, just stated a fact.

this thread is a shitfest of angry people. enjoy your spaghettios. come at me again and imma have to teach you how to dance with the devil in the pale moonlight; batarang in the forehead and fresh prosciutto up the ass.

>>6258240
pancetta

>>6258240
Real bacon bits

>>6254401
>Lots of cream

>>6258179
That's wrong you stupid fag, >>6255063 is the correct one

This thread is comedy gems. Seriously though. Eye-talliayns man...you're all insane.

>>6254388
First attempt at Carbonara, how did I do?

It's pretty tasty but I only had prosciutto on hand instead of panceta.

>>6258179
this is correct and people getting angry at this man are cultureless amerilards.

>>6258690
>ham
fuck off you make me sick

>>6254388
if you're not italian then don't even bother, eat a bic mac instead

>>6255063
this is accurate, thank you

>>6258179
correct

I hate being Italian because of how pretentious most of us are. My God. We come in like, 3 categories:

>Retarded tryhard effeminate faggot guidos like the Jersey Shore fucks, dye their skin brown and wear lipstick
>Loudmouths that are almost identical to above but dress and act less faggy, the worst of the women fall in the category
>Cool family-oriented people with a rich history and great food, don't brag about much and work hard

Can't you shits just fucking be number 3 and drop the crap?

>>6258254
Most of that is based on Mediterranean food in the first place Anon.

>>6258801
Which one are you, Giuseppe?
Spoiler, not number 3.

>>6258868
Most I've met are 3.

>>6258868
Me? 3.

>>6258179
THIS IS FUCKING CORRECT

PORCO DIO FOTTUTE AMERIMERDE

>>6258179
>>6258714
>>6258794
>>6258915
>southern european vermin fucking think they know a single fucking thing about carbonara

you stupid hairy fucks make me sick getting so upset about how muh pasta isn't done right when you don't even know anything about anything you lazy pseudo-whites

>>6255063 is the only correct way to do carbonara. Grow the fuck up and accept it.

>>6258920
Aren't all Italians southern European? I've never heard of norther European Italians.

>>6258927
italians are "southern europeans" (ie lazy, poor, and not actually white) along with spain, greece, etc

>>6258801
American spotted.

AY IMMA ITALIAN ALL OLD SCHOOL SICILIAN LIKE-A TONY SOPRANO, A TRUE FAMILY MAN WITH RICH HISTORY

>>6258927

Northern Italians are white. Southern Italians are basically berbers.

>>6255063
>carbonara
>cream

if only italian food were at all original. it's like some shitty non-spicy cross between mexican and chinese. disgusting.

>>6258933
>Sicilians

We're talking about Italians, Anon.

I've never met an arrogant Italian, especially about food and small shit like that. This is honestly an online-only thing from what I can tell.

>>6258927
we have some hurr durr imnotitalianimwhitemasterrace, example südtirol

>>6258179
this is the most correct but this goddamn recipe have 9001 variations
1) all egg vs yolk only
2) spaghetti or bucatini war
3) hurr pecorino romano, nope pecorino sardo, durrrr pecorino siculo, HALLO IM PARMIGIANO WATSUP
4) fuck the egg i like panna
5) i'm 12 and i put garlic everywhere
???) guanciale vs pancetta

Personally i like more the bastard version (yes we call it carbonara but really is a panna e pancetta):
pancetta, panna, parmigiano, only a bit of pepper

>>6258949
>mexican food is indian food with more meat
>italian food is indian food with herbs and pasta instead of spice and rice
>chinese is eat whatever the fuck we have because we're really poor or lots of pork

Can someone explain the whole "white" thing? Most nations have things in their history to be proud of, most nations have beautiful women, and most nations have decent food. What does being "white" have to do with it?

>>6258986
On 4chan specifically? Neo Nazis from /pol/ with social problems and unwarranted self-importance.

>>6258986
>What does being "white" have to do with it?

Nothing, its just a shitty debate tactic used by rejects stuck in 1945.

>>6258179
>Cook it under a low/medium heat (so you don't make the fat evaporate)

OPINION

FUCKING

INVALIDATED

POST

FUCKING

DISCARDED

>>6258179
>2019-4 years
>including egg white
>ISHYGDDT

>mfw people say /ck/ is a nice, welcoming board
It's like /v/ but with food.

>>6258179
I don't know what horse semen or baby dicks look like, you disgusting faggot.

I make twenty fuckin carbonara a day in my restaurant. It's tits every time.

>>6258179

>don't make the fat evaporate

i frying-pan the bacon until done then boil the pasta and put it into the now cooler bacon pan with an egg and some parmesan cheese skittles and and salt

the raw egg then grosses me out but il still eat it because

also i dont cream in the pan

>>6259319
literally who the fuck says that

>>6254388
if you think there exists THE ONE AND ONLY way to do anything, you should kill yourself

>>6259424
>my restaurant

>>6254388
On a plate
:^)

>>6254402
where are you from? they sell eggs in a jar and call that carbonara sauce or something?

>>6255063
ther is no cream in the carbonara

>>6255063
oh wait this is ironic, sorry

>>6258179
ovviamente non hanno capito un cazzo e continueranno a mangiare la loro pasta di merda galleggiante nella panna

>>6258223
How is this a recepie??
>I'll just throw a shake or two of this onion powder, then a zip!
>Super OCD over microbes and her eggs
wtf

>>6254388
if you can get the egg glaze as perfect as in that image, you've nailed it.

imo needs more pancetta/bacon in small cuts though.

>>6254933

Parmesan, pancetta, egg's yellow part and pepper.

>>6255063
THIS ANOM IS RIGHT

JESUS FUCK AMERITARDS HAVE NO IDEA HIW TO COOK REAL CARBONARA

THE ITALIANS DONT EVEN LET THE EGGS FULLY COOK


BRAIN PAIN

>>6255076
ME TOO LETS KEEP YELLING

>>6258782
>bic mac
>bic

>>6254388
>>6254401
AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!~~~~MY HEART IS ACHING BECAUSE OF THIS POST!!!! WHHHHHYYYYYYY?

I made carbonara last night for my gf. I subsitituted bacon for pancetta and parmesan for peccorino or whatever. Still delicious.

>>6254388
Hey /ck/
I'm interested in becoming a professional carbonara chef.

I was wondering if anyone could recommend any university courses in carbonara preparation.
If anyone here prepares carbonara professionally, what's the industry like?
How long did it take you to become a master?
Are there some must read text books I should get before going to uni?

>>6254401
and egg

>>6258208
>Not Spain

as the angry italian anon already said, this is the traditional way to make carbonara
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3AAdKl1UYZs

>>6258920
but anon
>>6255063

is a troll post

alright this is how I cook it
get ham steak from wal mart, cut it up and fry it a little

in sauce pan:
4tbs butter, melted
4tbs flour, in the butter
heat, mix
add like 4 cups skim milk
heat till it thickens
add ham
add like 2.5 cups grated parm
add garlic powder, basil, salt, white pepper, and nutmeg to taste

stir in 1 lb cooked linguine
eat it up because it's delish

>>6260902
I wouldn't be so sure, and even if it is it happens to be exactly right.

>>6260916
>cream
while you can add cream, it's not exactly right
look at this anons video >>6260897 with the friendly italian old man

>>6258690
You obviously didnt aim to make it authentic, so tastes counts and i guess you got that.

When you think about it Carbonara is just Alfredo sauce with eggs added and that's just too rich for my palette.

>>6261023
no

>>6254388
Hot

i wish i could make some carbonara

>>6260168
Retards on my other homeboards.

>>6254388

In your rectum.

I hate heretics

>>6254391
>Italians
>smiling

>>6259319
>I don't know what horse semen or baby dicks look like, you disgusting faggot.

you are mos def not italian

>>6254388
using guanciale and be careful with the egg white.

>adding whole egg to carbonara
The egg white serves literally no purpose other than to curdle on you if your pan is still a touch too hot. What you do is you fry the meat, then fry the almost-cooked pasta and coarsely ground black pepper in the flavorful fat rendered from the meat, then add some of the reserved pasta water to the pan to provide volume and thickness to the sauce. Then take it off the heat and let it cool down for like 1-3 minutes, or however long it takes for the surface of the pan drop to at most 75 C. This is the one dish you don't want to make in a heavy pan that retains heat well. Then you add the egg yolk only and the cheese, and give it a minute to thicken.

>>6264599
wrong
see >>6255063

>>6254402
>>6254417
>>6254510
>>6254933
>>6258202
>>6258316
>>6260167
>>6260623
>using bacon in Carbonara
Holy shit someone call the pleb patrol, march these turds right into the gas chambers

>>6254401
I'm not even going to take this bait, mate.