/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>6146360
Haha sucks to be op

The most retarded room mates I ever had weren't half this bad

This is why I prefer to be poor and live alone.

Did you choose to live with them OP?

Most of my bad stories involve living with stoners who would forget that they left dishes and blame me. Not so bad. But let me tell you the story of the second half of junior year. Not directly /ck/, but as horror story as it gets.

>living with buddy in his family owned college house
>he graduates leaving me alone in the house.
>Owner (his dad) decides to sell the house that month (christmas time)
>okay.jpg
>looks like I have move and look for a place while im out of town for holidays, always a pain
>breaks wrapping up, not much of choice except one apartment complex style.
>Seemed okay, They were renting out the master bedroom.
>Then meet Neil
>neil lived in the living room
>in the back rooms(2) one was empty, the other were two asians that never left their room and played wow all day. Largely irrelevant.
>Neil decides to bring an ex convict fresh out of the pen to the back room without telling any of us the next day.
>Funky ass neil still in the living room.
>Ex con guy is actually pretty cool, a mechanic just trying to get his life back together with his gf.
>Someone keeps eating the food (especially cookies and icecream) from the kitchen.
>Clearly neil who has been gaining massive pounds as the weeks wore on.
>I just cook at my buddies so I dont leave food there.
>One time I buy a fresh pack of klondike bars
>entire thing gone that evening.
>Decide to call neil out on his shit

(cont.) with shootouts, psychotics, and lighting the flat on fire.

>go to cook lunch
>pan is dirty
>my pan
>full of oil from his cooking
>has been there two days like that
>have to wash my own pan before I can cook, or go hungry

>go to cook banana bread
>look for new mixing bowl I just bought
>in use as a food container
>mixing bowl
>food container
>have to use a pot to mix dough in

>go downstairs
>find milk (or lunchmeat or anything else, mine or anyone else's, has happened multiple times) on shelf or counter
>was apparently left out all night
>housemate moved it to counter to get something behind it
>never put it back in

>>6146394
(cont.)

>life goes on
>ex con dude keeps calling neil out on eating his food, neil keeps denying.
>I basically only hang out in my room.
>ex con dude finally had enough of neils shit and left to move in with his girlfriend
>neil had athletes foot and showered barefoot by the way.
>next day we have a new tenant.
>someone to share neils living room with
>well call him shaquita.
>Flamboyantly gay previously homeless teen
>The entire time he lived with us, his cuck boyfriend payed the 200 bucks for him to stay in the living room.
>His whole plan was to scam disability for schizophrenia
>He was such an idiot that he couldnt mimic or know the symptoms so he gets called out on his fraud
>always bumming smoke off me
>always talks shit about his computer engineer bf who is basically his sugar daddy
>does nothing all day.
>one day drawing in my room
>see heat waves coming up over my window
>"goddam its hot out today"
>wait not that hot
>look outside and whole wall is on fire
>shaquita just standing there smoking a cig watching
>I smack him on the head and tell him to get the hose
>I run and get the fire extinguisher
>shaquita didnt know how to turn the hose on.
>Shaquita smiles and says maybe now hell get dis uh bilty.
>no joke word for word.
>life goes on
>One day a robbery to the asian dudes.
>someone broke in and stole all the asians computers while at class

(cont.)

>>6146395

>go downstairs
>pot of food left on stove
>mess everywhere from it
>dishes piled everywhere
>typical
>get text next day, housemate (who cooked that stuff and used the dishes) gone for ten days
>offer to freeze his leftovers for him, tells me to eat it
>I'm not eating something that has been out on counter who knows how long, at least a day
>have to toss his food for him, put water in his pot and set it aside
>put dishes in sink
>be damned if I have to wash his pile of shit, it can stay there until he gets back
>have to clean the stove off
>have to sweep and mop the floor
>gloriously clean kitchen for a week (except the sink and pot)
>hard to use sink but whatever
>comes back
>few days later, could already could use a mopping
>he's hungry, goes to fridge
>he has no food
>steals other housemate's milk and chicken
>starts cleaning out fridge for first time in six months
>finds his bowl with his food
>starts saying that it's mine
>set him straight, tell him to clean it up
>dumps food in sink
>sink gets clogged
>spend two days with landlord trying to unclog sink
>landlord tells him off

My horrid flatmate has a steak for dinner every single night. If she's still hungry she follows that with a whole packet of sausages. For desert she eats a whole packet of hobnobs. She then smokes 2-3 joints, and if it is the weekend drinks as well.
When my other flatmates questioned this behaviour she threw a hissy fit, and doesnt believe it is unhealthy because she "has a salad for lunch".
God fucking damn I hate her.

>>6146392

I moved in to an otherwise empty house as an individual, we had to get the other rooms rented quickly (so I could split the utilities with someone). I had a "choice" that wasn't really a choice, had about five minutes to decide yes or no on the guy, landlord already liked him because he was a foreigner and landlord is pro-multiculti. So the guy was already filling out the lease before they asked my opinion.

The other two were signed on the same way and they're both fine. I couldn't be happier with them, actually. Just the one is a goddamned alcoholic chain smoking insomniatic mess-making pan-using kitchen-ruining nightmare.

>>6146376

Can't afford an apartment of my own. Rent on a room in a houseshare is about half the cost of the cheapest apartment.

>>6146418
>someone broke in and stole all the asians computers while at class

Shitstorm imminent. Don't fuck with an asian's vidya.

>>6146433

Shit, wish I could afford steak and sausage. What does she do, other than eat like a pig?

>>6146418
(cont)

>lots of the asians shit stolen
>like one thing stolen from neil and some made up jewelry
>thank fuck I lock my room door and never talked to neil so he had no reason to hate on me
>police come and write a report
>few days pass
>SURPRISE new roommate
>nate
>nate was a 30 something acid burnout addicted to magic the gathering
>he could strategize a decent deck, but the fucker could not string together a complete sentence.
>idiotic but harmless fellow
>due to his anxiety he had really scummy homeless friends (basically the only people that would hang out with him)
>he would invite these massive drug addicted scumbags to come over and play magic
>they just used it as a place to crash
>One day neil vanishes
>completely
>turns out he staged the robbery and stole all the asians stuff himself
>warrant out for smelly neil
>shaquita breaks up with his boyfriend and moves out
>me, neil, asias
>finally I have enough of this shit
>I decide to go talk to the apartment manager
>Apartment manager acts like a strung out methhead but is a gun nut ex cop.
>Had no idea that anyone but neil and asians were living there
>neil had been pocketing the rent money for a few months
>oh boy.
>fortunately he likes the cut of my jib and clearly im the only rent paying non psychotic in the house now
>sets us up with a more formal contract
>asians leave
>neil on the hook for whole apartment cost.
>now I just pay manager for my room directly
>fast forward 1 month,

(cont)

>>6146443
what you described was a burglary not a robbery.

>>6146443
>Just me and neil
>neil tutors math but does nothing else but magic all day
>oy whatever, at least he not shaqita
>time goes by
>neil says one of his crazy drug addicted friends is interested in renting the room
>I foolishly say fine just go talk to the manager first
>that doesnt happen
>guy just moves in with his proclaimed, 'tuh bitchus'
>They just kind of take the back room
>Im like wtf why are these two girls living in the room with him, why the fuck didnt you mention that
>neil is a pushover so he shrugs it off.
>about two days go by.
>they trash the living room
>everday I tell them they need a rent check and to talk to the manager
>finals week so I dont really have time to handle it
>some scenes were literally national geographic
>I would come in, and he would be sitting on the floor of the living room while his 'tuh bitches' were popping his back zits.
>keep telling me 'yea well talk to the landlord real soon anon'
>few more days pass
>one day I am awoken to a loud roar.
>someone busts into my room, says 'oh dam dis here a paintin' room' then closes the door
>a loud black family was yelling out the new roommates telling them to get the fuck out
>apparently the night before they pulled a gun on nate and threatened to kill him.
>nate busted out of a window and ran away to get some crazy black people he knew to confront them
>they fight a bit
>finally the new roommate leaves and says hell come back and get his stuff.
>I venture into the room
>wasteland.jpg
>ciggerettes put out in the carpet
>blood in the toilet
>real fucking awful.
>still finals week...
>I dont have time for this

>>6146466
whatever, cops just asked if I heard anything. I was in class at the time of the robbery so they didnt really question me

>>6146443
>putting up with this shit

you are just as retarded as them, anon

>>6146443
>>me, neil, asias

You mean you, Nate, asians?

Hot damn. Reminds me;

>lived over summer at this ghetto dump in their attic
>was only place I could get on short notice with a broken phone while I was out of state for two weeks
>rent reasonable, room a good size, "private" bathroom
>rented by this woman who had a nice bf and a sick toddler
>woman turns out to be crazy
>bitched at me for not DRYING THE SINK, the inside of the sink, the basin, out after every time I used it, even when I was in the middle of cooking
>bitched that I spent too much time in the kitchen ("three hours a day")
>I cooked once every other day, only ate leftovers most of the time
>woman never cooked, only got takeout for her and family
>never seen someone cook before
>is abusive to her really nice bf
>bf is nice to me, offers to help me carry stuff/groceries, open doors, etc.
>woman gets jealous, is nasty and mean to me
>I just want to be left alone to study, mang, I don't want drama
>starts saying I can't be downstairs at such and such hour of the day during her meetings
>some sort of government program for her benefits
>basically can't leave house during this time, as only exit is downstairs
>have shit to do, bitch, fuck you
>escalating
>starts bitching at me for something
>I say I have rights
>says I don't have a lease, she can do whatever she wants to me
>says she's gonna throw all my things out on the curb as soon as I leave (door had no lock, despite my having asked for one)
>line crossed
>call the police, call someone with a van, move out that night
>police called three times that night
>she's having a fit, neighbors are looking
>giving me shit
>say I'm going to tell welfare that she is renting an illegal apartment and not reporting the income
>does a 180, sweet as sugar
>gives me a refund for month I paid ahead
>her bf shows up
>she's a cunt to him, he leaves
>apparently he doesn't live with her anymore

>>6146471
(cont)

>back to gun nut manager and tell him the whole story with nate
>fucker pulls out an ar15, cocks it (scaring the shit out of nate) and says "well lets wait for him to come back"
>I say I have finals and have to study etc.
>Okay, so manager and some other ex cop hold a stake out in my living room
>its okay anon, he not a tenant, we can shoot him if he comes on the property
>facepalm
>I leave to go study
>Walking to class
>new roommate and his 'tuh bitchus' actually pop out of a bush on the way to class.
>they ask me if its safe to go back to the house
>I say I dont know, I have been at a friends studying
>best of luck to ya fello
>we never see them again
>apparently the ex cop manager knew all of them and had busted them all for meth when he was a cop.
>manager gives me a month off rent and moves me into a new apartment

Prologue
I visited my college town a few months ago (graduated about 3 years ago). I am walking around downtown, and there is nate homeless and begging for change in front of the kwik mart. He told me a story about how mental health authorities abducted him and abused him.

>>6146472
I was mostly not there. The only real bad part was that last week with the guy and his 'tuh bitchus' and that was finals week which are gruelling at the school I went to so I didnt have time.

>>6146489
>I visited my college town

What town Oppie?

>>6146497
I would rather not say, but it was in california.

My roommate had his own pan to wok with, it was a nice pan and he had his name labelled on it. Then he sees some new polish shit washing his wok pan with a metal scrub sponge, scratching the entire thing up.

I lived with people who ate rice toped with the cheapest burger cheese, who ate chicken burgers for breakfast and only pizza everyday for diner.

I bought my own pans cause people never clean their shit on time for other housemates to use them for cooking.

Me and that other friend are the only people who know how to cook.

I have seen someone microwave a pizza for a minute and then eat it.

>>6146507
that explains a lot about you.

>long time ago, lived with dad
>he has dated/is still dating a literal crackwhore since I was young
>lives with him
>was always a bitch to me
>I don't take anyone's shit, put her in her place when she got mouthy
>I was trying to go to school and get into college, had no time to deal with a mouthy middle aged drama queen
>she hoarded food
>dad had a shit because it attracted bugs, huge problem in that house because inner city
>she still hoarded, along with crack and whatever else, in "secret"
>isn't as bright as she thinks she is, dad usually knew
>one day, we'd had chicken my dad made for dinner
>had washed dishes earlier, was putting dry ones away now
>go to put container in cabinet where we keep them
>pause
>dish with chicken leg, cooked, uncovered, hidden in far corner of cabinet
>no lid
>house had bugs
>chicken in cabinet
>don't want to deal with it, tell dad
>we both know she had hoarded it (she loved chicken legs, wouldn't eat any other part of the chicken, not even a nigger)
>dad goes to have a talk with her
>I put the chicken in the fridge
>she neither bought nor cooked the food

She was a huge bitch. What kind of woman picks a fight with a child? She had this sweet tea only she drank, so I'd spit in it from time to time.

>>6146489

Jesus christ. What city was this? That's the worst thing I've read in a very long while.

>>6146529
whatever my life is awesome.

>>6146536
i'm sure it is. just make sure to keep your awesome life contained in your shithole of a state.

>>6146544
I live in japan

>>6146489
Sometimes I forget that there are people that are living their everyday lives like this. Thanks anon.

>live with 5 other roomates
>have 2 scummy friends living on couch
>1 has a kid in another state, don't know why he's even living here
>other guy is about 40 drinks alot, but basically a normal dude
>Fag couple across the hall
>weird jew next door, but nice dude
>Fat puerto rican, and fiancee who cant pay bills in other room
The social rooms are always a fucking wreck. >Dining room, and living room I dont give 2 shits about. Rarely chill there. Most certainly wont bring anyone I know there
>Kitchen is shit, no one cleans their mess
>Fucking pans all over the place.
>garbage piled halfway up the wall
>instead of changing the can, have another bag right next to it, full of garbage.
>Everyone talks shit about the mess
>I'm the only one who actually cleans up after my self
>The worst of it is, they can't even cook.
One fag was making pork chops. They were already done, probably dryer than my ass. I mention, "Yo Anonfag, those are done dude." "Oh yea, I want the outside brown." Think you got too much oil in there bro.. Was deep frying them, also did the same to Spam. You can hammer nails into drywall with those over salted chops
>Broke fag makes soup all the time
>OMG BABE your soup is soooooo good
>Yo anon want some soup?
>Me: sure....It's 400 bouillon cubes with 38 different veggies thrown in for good measure. And dry as my ass chicken. Was awful
>Pan stays in fridge for 3 weeks. I dumped it down the toilet, and had to wash that fungus riddled pan.
I can go on all day...continue?

>>6146679

yes continue if you're still here, this thread is a gem

Only ever shared living once, never again

>live with friend and his gf
>constantly leaving dishes claiming they already did their share
>bitch washing the cup you're about to drink out of don't count
>place was a fucking mess 24/7
>both always inviting people over
>everyone uses it as a chill spot to smoke weed
>some laughs were had but the issue began to pile up
>finally had enough with this, they won't clean or even try to cook
>let their friends get away with fucking up the house
>holes in walls, fag ends in the sink
>plates stuffed under the sofa
>refundable deposit £600 between 3, fuckit it's worth the £200 loss to see them thrown out
>just up and leave, last I hear they were evicted had to move in with parents
>not surprised, friendship group saw what a shithole they kept the place

glad to be rid of them, best decision I ever made.

Not worth the fight for the £200, my happiness or fighting through a small claims court like a Jew in a palestinian bank vault. Easy fucking choice

>>6146778
So I decide to bake some cookies for all these fucking humps I call roomates
>Oh shit, they are done. Just need an oven mitt.
>we have at least 8, all gone
>next day gayfags are like "lol yeah we got em"
I dont even want to know why they did. I had to use an ace bandage to pull out the cookies.
Couchfag with kid
>Gets drunk
>mega super drunk, to the point of no return
>Puts talapia in everything he makes
>Yo anon want some spaghetti with fish
Nah, I'm good
>makes me try it....It's shit
He then falls asleep in the middle of the floor. Takes 3 of us to drag his dead weight to his couch/bed.
>His pans diddnt get washed till I needed them a few days later
>Poor fag
>Yo anon, Im broke wanna get some beers? you gotta spot me tho.
>yeah
motherfucker sits on the couch with his fat ass girlfriend, I fall asleep. Hope the beers were good

I live with crazy people. Like, national talk show, "look at me, I'm a special snowflake," crazy. They have a failing "Mistress/submissive" relationship going on.

The "sub" is an off-the-grid, fifty year old transgender female with a warrant out in the neighboring state. She has no papers, no ID, and I have no idea what her legal name is, despite knowing her over a year now. She is the most entitled cunt I've ever met and always, ALWAYS pissed about something and thinks she owns the kitchen despite almost never cooking. Bitch needs anger management.

The "Domme" is a forty-five year old try-hard otherkin rights advocate and despite her self-proclaimed title, is so painfully beta. She has a stick up her butt about food because she took an afternoon French cooking course and wants to nail Julia Child. She moved the Angry Tranny in almost immediately after meeting because Muh Alternative Lifestyle Status Symbol and crippling loneliness. Pretty tolerable, all things considered. I even feel bad for her relationship sometimes.

>>6147007

>Spend the day making loads of fresh bread for the week.
>One counter is perpetually covered in flour, as it's being used to shape dough every forty-five minutes.
>Another counter is covered in cooling bread.
>Kitchen is huge, there's still plenty of space.
>Mess contained to previously mentioned areas.
>Angry Tranny walks in, looks around.
>Walks back out, starts screaming at her girlfriend.
>"What the fuck is wrong with anon. Why can't they fucking clean as they go. I should be in there making fucking coffee, how am I supposed to make fucking coffee, this is bullshitfuckingbullshitfuckfuckfuck.
>I'm shaping dough as she flips out.
>Toddler-like tantrum, slamming doors, the whole nine yards.
>Thinks I can't hear.
>Thinks I'm not aware that it pitches fits like this every day.
>Let her be mad, not my problem.
>She walks in, snatches the brown sugar off my prep area, and walks back out with it.
>Ignore; was finished with it anyway.
>Everyone else is grateful for fresh, delicious bread.
>Angry Tranny is angry.

For a while my life was full of passive aggressive notes.

>Order pizza for everyone.
>They leave theirs on the counter and go to bed.
>Put away their leftovers.
>Break down box and stuff in trash can.
>Truck's coming in the morning, prepare bag for curb, put it in the garage
>Would put it on curb, but Angry Tranny complains if it goes out too early.
>Next morning step outside for a cigarette.
>There's a pizza box on my chair.
>There's writing on the pizza box.
>"BREAK DOWN THE BOX AND THROW IT AWAY PROPERLY!"
>Wut?
>B-but it was fine. I don't understand.
>Bitch dug it out of the trash, wrote a note on it, and left it where we smoke.
>Fuck that; move it over and ignore it.
>We don't negotiate with cunts.
>Spend the next week listening to the her get more and more pissed about the box.
>She won't approach me about it.
>Chews out the girlfriend instead.
>Girlfriend finally throws it away.
>Angry Tranny so mad.

>>6147014
>angry tranny
Is he/she transitioning with hormones?

>Roomie can't make up his mind. Either
>Leave filthy dishes everywhere, including other rooms of cabin
>OR
>Put EVERYTHING in dishwasher, no matter whether it warps, rots, etc

>>6147014
oof

>>6146360
>I made banana bread
you're a pretentious hipster cunt

>>6147014

Angry Tranny quickly decided to make me the focal point of her perpetual rage, so everything I do pisses her off. Not saying I'm perfect, but I keep things clean and I do my shit around the house. I'm not typically a dick or anything and usually keep to myself, so I'm not entirely sure when/why she decided to actively hate me.

Oh, like right now I can here her having a fit about the sponge being in the sink and how I must have done it. I haven't actually used the sink today, but okay.

Anyway, I can do no right and she can't control her temper. It used to piss me off, but now I think a lot of it is kind of funny.

>Make curry.
>Angry Tranny is a picky bitch, hates Indian food, is pissed that everyone else likes it.
>She fries up frozen burger patties instead.
>Fill pan with water to soak and walk away for post-dinner cigarette.
>Come back in to water dumped out and sticky note saying to do my fucking dishes.
>M'kay, then.
>Notice pan of solidified burger grease on stove.
>Transfer sticky note to pan.
>Do dishes, go to room, and listen for the inevitable fit.

I've seen her leave those pans of grease on the stove for days. They aren't mine, so I don't really care.
Anyway, Angry Tranny likes to pretend she doesn't use any of my stuff. A lot of what I buy is communal within reason, but it's the principle of the thing for her, I guess. However, when I'm not around, she goes to town. I wonder sometimes if she's bulimic.

>Whole blocks of cheese
>Gallon Ziplocs of cubed ham
>All of my fucking deli meat
>Whole pans of homemade rolls
>Various leftovers
>Any candy and cookies I'm dumb enough to leave around

I had three quarts of gumbo go missing once. I don't know if the bitch ate it or threw it out.

>>6147042
but banana bread is delicious anon. Especially if you throw in some chocolate chips.

>>6147019

For a short time she was taking hormones that they had gone down to Mexico to acquire. She was not prescribed them or medically supervised. She took twenty times the proper dose every day. No, that is not an exaggeration. She started leaking from the nipples.

She stopped taking them because her girlfriend refused to buy her any more after finding out how much she was taking. It's been about eight months since she had to stop.

I know the hormones can make you testy, but she's naturally super angry. The hormones didn't help though.

>This. Fucking. Shit.

>>6147007

People like that exist in daylight?

>>6147014

I feel you about the bread. Flour station takes up so much room. Why do you make so much bread, anon? You eat it every day?

>pizza box

What a nutbag. Either do it yourself or ignore it or mention it in passing calmly.

>>6147042

...Why? I was given a bunch of spotty bananas and needed to use them up quickly. I have no idea what you're on about, you angry tard.

>>6147051
>>Transfer sticky note to pan.

Oh shit, snap.

Why do you live with that creature, anon? It has mental issues.

>>6147070

Where's your sink, m8? All I see is a pile of dishes.

Mine leave almost that quantity after the one has a night of binge drinking, which is multiple times a week. I'm really waiting for him to drop dead.

>>6147060
>>6147051


trannies get a special breed of crazy that is equal parts delusion, narcissism and evil and she hates you for not a)buying her crap at all b)having your shit together as a person because she doesn't.

half the time these loons are even really trannies, they just picked the one thing guaranteed to make them super special snowflakes so they can scream about oppression when they don't get 110% of they're want.

you should get a lock, write down any incidents of harassement in a journal that you keep hidden and basically be prepared for WWIII it is a certainty that she is going to escalate fucking with you to the point of criminal behavior and hse's had her whole life to practuce being a sneaky backstabbing cunt so don't think she can't

>>6147078

This is one French guy. The guy is an absolute fucking dimwit. He managed to open the washing machine halfway through a cycle and flood the entire kitchen. On christmas day.

The cunt.

capping Angry Tranny. Will wait a bit to see if more stories appear before postan

>>6147073

I make bread to try to save the house money. Also it tastes good and I like to bake. The more I do it, the better I get, and I think it's a good skill to have. Most of the people I know appreciate it and even the Angry Tranny loved it before she started hating me.

I live with her because I live with Beta Domme, who happens to be related to me by marriage. I'm looking into moving out, but for now I just try to laugh at the situation.

I imagine mental illness plays a role with both of them, but they aren't diagnosed. They refuse to believe there's anything wrong and revel in their "uniqueness". It helps them rationalize when somebody doesn't like them or when bad things happen, "It's because we're a trans household and if you're mean to us you're a bigot," kind of shit.

I don't give a shit if you're transgender, but I can't abide by a cunty attitude. I've discovered the best thing to do is ignore it, as much of their shenanigans are for attention.

>>6147051

There are Dr. Pepper cans everywhere, all the time. Twenty+ appear by the sink every day. They complain about the food budget, brag about their superior tastes and standards, talk about health conscious bullshit, but always have at least two cases of Dr Pepper laying around. They don't drink water. We live in the desert and they Don't. Drink. Water. Just Dr. Pepper and diabetes inducing coffee. Then they wonder why they feel shitty. It's baffling, but not my problem, so I don't say shit. They're adults, after all.

For the most part, I don't drink soda. I drank loads of it when I was a kid, but as I grew up I sort of got over it. But sometimes I mix my rum with Coke Zero. So one evening I made my drink in the presence of Beta Domme. Keep in mind that I hadn't said anything about my beverage.

>"You know studies say that diet soda doesn't help you lose weight, Anon."

Confused, I said something about soda in general not being good for you and ideally we should only really drink water most of the time. Then I made the mistake of mentioning the importance of calories in vs calories out.

She went on a defensive rant about how full sugar soda is better for you than diet soda and how my once-a-fortnight Coke Zero was going to make me fat and eat a hole through my brain. I wanted to point out how fat all her Dr. Pepper has made her, but bit my tongue. There's no point in arguing about stupid shit.

>let one of my roommates use a dish of mine freshman year
>he often left dishes in the sink for long periods of time
>mfw he left my fucking dirty tupperware container in the sink over fucking spring break, and left it in the sink for a total of 7 weeks.
>hfw after washing it and getting rid of the mold that had started growing in it, he gives it back to me, I look at him, and just toss it in the trash
fucking niggers man

>>6147102

>French
>disgusting pig

hehehe.

No kidding, my housemate flooded the kitchen THREE times trying to use the dishwasher (I don't use them at all.) He kept using the wrong soap even after we told him what he needed. I'm really surprised he hasn't burned the house down yet. He's been trying pretty hard.

>idiot wants to reheat his sandwich (sub type, lettuce and meat and cheese)
>turns on oven
>I go upstairs
>come down 20 minutes later
>smoke everywhere, alarm starts going off
>open oven
>sandwich still in there
>not on a sheet, just thrown on the rack
>innards spilling everywhere
>everything is burned
>lettuce nearly on fire
>housemate meanders over
>"oh, my sandwich is done."
>takes it out and eats it
>never cleans oven
>I clean it three times
>still smokes whenever I turn it on from sandwich bits lost in the cracks
>can't cook anything without people thinking my shit is burning because his bits left in there are smoking
>don't even want to use the oven at all now

I think one of my housemates believes that his glasses of water become filthy once he drinks from them. That must be the reason why he leaves 5-8 half-full (or half empty) glasses of water by the sink per day instead of just reusing or rinsing the same one. At least it's not coffee mugs though.

>>6147094

She's pretty out of her mind. I've been working on finding her real name with what little information I have, that way I can check in on that warrant for her arrest and have a bit more leverage. She smokes pot regularly too, which doesn't bother me in the least, but it's one more thing in my arsenal if I ever need to call the popo.

She likes to play the martyr and has, as you could guess, something of a superiority complex. It's funny, because she's the kind of person that reads a Facebook news article based off of a ten year old bullshit chain letter and then runs around telling everyone how, "like, ZOMG guys, microwaves make water CARCINOGENIC and there are totally TOILET SPIDERS everywhere." She spends all day on Facebook and playing Diner Dash and shit.

>>6147171
>She spends all day on Facebook and playing Diner Dash and shit.

People like this exist? Even 4chan is more intellectually stimulating than fagbook.

>plays diner dash
>doesn't have a job

Heh. But I feel you on the collecting ammunition. I've done a lot of that before. If my current housemate doesn't pay his share of the bills, I can tell the police he smokes pot, and he'll be deported from the country. Isn't that amazing?

Main reason why I don't do drugs--don't want to hand people that ammo.

>>6147155

Back to Angry Tranny.

>Stopped taking hormones.
>Has no plans for surgery.
>Claims to have been born a hermaphrodite and crazy Mormon parents sewed up her vagina at age four.
>Okay then, if you say so, dude.
>Full of wild stories that are obviously not true.
>Conspiracy theorist the likes of which even /x/ would BTFO.
>Claims to have witnessed 9/11, been caught in Katrina, etc. all of which caused by the evil government.

Back to /ck/ stuff.

>Open fridge.
>What the fuck is that?
>It's a vagina.
>There's a vagina in the fridge.
>A silicon fleshy looking thing with a harness.
>What's that red stuff?
>Oh Jesus, it's supposed to be blood.

She wanted to pretend to be on her period, so apparently acquired the equipment, then for reasons unknown to me, stored it in the fridge. Maybe to keep it fresh?

my friends and i were the assholes back in the day

roommate complained of partying, loud music, us eating his "special" food, never doing dishes, and constant weed smoke

his raging made it more fun since we'd loudly imitate his bitching when we knew he was upstairs, poor guy couldn't leave his room when we were around

one mistake; my friend thought it was smart to smash his pizza stone, but it was really our loss

happy to say i'm being nice this year

>>6147188

She either exists or I've created the world's worst tulpa.

There's so much more crazy non-/ck/ stuff too. I might write a book some day. I've actually considered using this whole situation to entertain myself. Maybe start a blog and then record "social experiments" on her. But I'm lazy and it seems mean.

>>6147147

I always feel so flattered when /ck/ caps my stories.
You're doing God's work, Anon.

>>6147207
That photo is disgusting. I'm seriously triggered right now.

>>6147207
>smashed your roommates pizza stone
You are a fucking prick to this day I bet

>>6147225
MOAR

>>6147207
>smashing a pizza stone
Man, stoneware is bestware; don't wreck that shit.

Anyway, my roommate is pretty good about kitchen junk; only complaint is that he tend to fill up the sink with dishes, but not to the point that I can't just wash mine anyway so I can't really bitch too much.

>>6146360
>motivation to grow up and get your own place, faggot

>>6147207

You're probably still an asshole. Kill yourself, you worthless degenerate with no consideration for others.

>>6147211
>it seems mean.

Nonsense, my man. That creature started it by being a nasty piece of work. No respect received, no respect given.

>>6147195
>She wanted to pretend to be on her period,

I don't even understand. Periods are horrific nightmares. Waking up in a pool of your own blood is not fun. Fucking why? Trannies are mentally ill, I swear.

>>6147253

I think I'm tapped out of /ck/ stories related to her. I mean, yeah, she's a bitch on the daily.
She insists on buying retardly expensive coffee despite not having a job, then being a big snob about it.
She talks about being allergic to MSG when she doesn't want to eat somewhere, then happily scarfs down MSG laden "Chinese" food.
She covers everything in Old Bay before even trying a bite.
She's a great big holier than thou, hypocritical, piece of shit food snob who has been known to make Ramen fifteen minutes before I'm done making a labor intensive, love-filled dinner.
She labels communal shit in the house as hers.
Speaking of Ramen, I bought a case of fifty packs because it was going to be a tight month. She promptly gave it away to one of her friends as payment for helping her move some shit. When I asked her why the fuck she thought that was okay, her response was that she didn't like that flavor.

But at this point I'm just bitching for the sake of bitching rather than for your entertainment. When I think of something else, /ck/ will be the first to know.

>>6147274
I'm so sorry that's your life anon

>>6147168
One of the gayfags I live with does this. Never understood it. Why not use same cup faggo?

>>6147283

Thank, Anon.
Could always be worse. At least she's not Lazy Fat.

>>6146489
Did you mean 'epilogue'?

A prologue is before a story happens.

One of my 3 roommates occupies all 4 areas of the stove top with his greasy ass cookware that he just leaves there. The other two leave their food on strange places like the kitchen table for weeks and refuse to take out the trash ever.

My old roommate would basically play chicken with me. She basically knew that dirty dishes piling up is my pet peeve and I would end up doing her dishes every couple of weeks out of pure disgust.

Roommates/housemates fucking suck. Avoid them like the plague. The only person you can depend on is yourself.

>>6146360
Should have let the fistfight happen, violence clears out many shitty roommates

Roommate makes spaghetti all the time. Every couple of days he'll make a giant pot of spaghetti, eat a little of it, and put the rest in the fridge. But it doesn't accumulate in the fridge. He gets rid of the last batch and replaces it with the current one.

>roommate doesnt put her dishes in the dishwasher
>leaves butter out
jesus christ every fucking time

/ck/, I have two options.

1. Nice house with 2 twenty something 'bros'.

2. 2 bedroom apartment with 40 year old gay dude who seems really awesome to chill with, albeit very talkative

>>6147500
>seems really awesome to chill with


yeah i can imagine

>>6147500

The bros will be messy and loud, read the thread if you doubt this. Probably not horrible, but not cleanly at all.

The faggot may be fine, or may be nuts, and may or may not try to fuck you.

>>6147451

>leaves butter out

uh what

>>6147500

second option, gay dudes are way cleaner and living with bros is awful

>>6147543
I'm not gay. It's just a nice apartment for a reasonable price.

>>6147545
Am I supposed to be like 100% sure that I won't get literally fucked by someone I live with? I have a sinking feeling that I won't be able to rule out the possibility.

He's a 42-year-old social studies teacher with a fuckhuge bird that's rad as hell and a 19-year-old cat that is trying deperately to just die already.

But he has lots of nice things...100meg internet...gas stove...cast iron and stainless cookware...~60 inch TV

>>6147558
OH YEAH and when we were talking about the apartment he talked about how he got complaints due to the headboards banging against the wall when he was having a little fun

He was so candid about it, I just wat'd mentally

>>6147382
Just put their dishes in their bed.

>never take out trash
>never take out recyclables
>never clean dishes until they've sat on/in the stove/counter/sink for for at least two days
>grocery jew, rarely buys anything but shit explicitly for himself for that night
>foodstuffs always left on chopping board
>never, ever, cleans counters/stovetop
>chews with mouth open

at least he can actually cook and doesnt produce travesties or run metal utensils all over nonsticks


so pretty tame compared to some of these greentexts

>>6146360
>have to calm them down so we don't have a fistfight on hand

A good fistfight sounds appropriate for the situation.

>>6147558

gays aren't retarded horny teenagers that try to fuck everything, you must be really young, especially if you're considering living with bros

I made that mistake, it was fucking awful

>>6146360
Mine isn't bad. He's one of those skeletons who never eats because he's too busying playing the guitar all day. He does have a package of oatmeal in the fridge but I guess he eats outside.

>>6146433

You sound like the horrid flatmate in this story. It's up to her if she wants to live healthily and it's not your place to tell her otherwise. You haven't described any shitty behaviour here, just that you're some kind of weird health snob

> Couple of roommates
> Super neckbeard guy in late 20's shares a room with his 300 lb plus landwhale wife
> They seem to either work at super erratic hours or just not at all. I can't tell. Don't tend to interact with them since I'm in the basement apartment
> Cook all the time
> By cook I mean burning stuff onto every possible pot and pan
> Leave in sink to 'soak'
> Will never make any attempt to come back and actually clean it
> Can't be bothered to watch a pot so it always ends up boiling over and getting something or other burnt onto the stove top
> Sometimes look for a certain pot or pan
> Can't find it
> 10 times out of 10 it's in the fridge with food in it with a sticky note saying "_______'s leftovers. Don't touch"
> Pots and pans seem to be slowly disappearing. No idea what's happening to them. Have theories...

>>6147094
I thought you were a fucking asshole until

>half the time these loons are even really trannies, they just picked the one thing guaranteed to make them super special snowflakes so they can scream about oppression when they don't get 110% of they're want.
So much fucking this. Half the tranniebes (wannabe trannies) will never have the balls (lulz) to actually ever go through with transition. "It's expensive," they say. "I need insurance," they say. But then, when someone points out that they can do this, that or the other thing to get the ball rolling, they, at best, just shrug it off or, at worst, flip shit and complain about being oppressed.

>>6147195
Does Angry Tranny™ go by "Heather" in the waking world, perchance? This can't be a coincidence.

>>6146520
>microwaving pizza into a soggy mess.

Been there. Have to go shoulder deep into a faulty gas oven to ignite it. Never doing that shit again.

>>6147558
lmao that picture, i hope what i think is happrning isnt happening in the image

>Renting a room out in Texas
>Lesbian couple moves in
>Complain that I leave my guns everywhere (I have an FFL and sell guns for a living)
>Have the loudest and most annoying sex I've ever heard; sounds like alley cats fighting over fish bones

>6 months after they move in, they cook me a meal as thanks since they were discriminated against by everyone else
>Made spaghetti and meatballs
>Pasta was still hard and meatballs were still cold
>Choke it down with a smile on my face and say thanks because I'm not an ungrateful faggot

>Drink 8 beers after dinner since I didn't feel full
>Wake up in my bed
>They carried me to my bed and tucked me into bed
>Can't find my FNX-45 Tactical in my nightstand
>Find it in the kitchen table unloaded
>They thought I was gonna get up and stumble across my room to go pee and trip and blow my head off

Not really horrific and they were great roommates; always paid the rent on time and were fun to be around.

Just wanted to share.

>trying to make dinner with girlfriend
>have you ever cooked stuff before?
>"yeah"
>hand her a stalk of celery and an extremely sharp "this is anon's knife don't touch it because its worth more than your car" knife that was handmade and i imported from germany
>she saws at the celery extremely slowly
>take a slightly dull steak knife and shop mine in about 5 seconds
>she is still on her second slice
>everything she cuts is like that
>ask her if she is sure that she has cooked before
>"mostly microwave, my mom and sister cook but i do the dishes"
>mfw she washes dishes slowly and in cold water

at least she sucks my dick while waiting for things to simmer or bake, because god damn that woman doesnt know the difference between a pan and a bowl

>>6148017
there is a reason you are the cook and she is on the cock.

>have three step dish washing system
>enjoy washing dishes
>have 3 separate brushes for washing dishes
>installed new faucet head so it switches between pour, spray, and M I S T
>have some newfangles water heater that always has hot water no matter how much hot water you use for scalding

shits cash yo
nobody touches dirty pans or my 3 special brushes because i throw an autism fit over it

use 1st brush and pour to remove physical food items
use 2nd brush and spray to remove bulk oils and stains
use 3rd brush and soap, turn on mist setting for optimal soap frothing, ensure entire pan is clean including handles and grips, use spray to rinse off soap suds, use ice cold water to cool pan and wash out sink for next pan

>>6147997
Sounds cute Anon

>>6148033
every time i blow a load she sucks it down and cuddles up to me with a big smile and acts all proud that she was able to make me cum, then rates my load based on how much there was and how salty it was

apparently if i jerk off a lot it's saltier, since every time i store it up its plentiful but tasteless 0/10 wouldnt gulp

one word though:
teeth

she's very small and i have a meaty dick but god damn son feels like you are gnawing on a summer sausage, and progress is slow

Mine really isn't as bad as some peoples but it really gets on my nerves

My housemates just so happened to be my brother-in-law and his girlfriend (big mistake right?).

Anyway this girl used to leave all of her dirty dishes and make him clean them up. She'd also leave cupboard doors open everywhere. Actually have bets with my wife about how many cupboard doors would be open in the kitchen when we got home after going out.

One thing I forgot to say is that this girl was NEET and essentially living there with her parents paying her rent because they didn't want her in the house anymore. The final straw for me was when I came home from work and this cunt had left the fridge door open for who-knows-how long and most of the food had gone bad.

All I can say i thank fuck she's gone. Now I just play Dota with brother-in-law bro

>>6148056
Oh gosh I thought at the beginning you were living with your sister's husband and his girlfriend
Made me mega confused

>>6148064
Probably should have elaborated. My wife and I own the house. Her brother and his gf moved in with us.

>>6148056
>mfw you are beta enough to let anything like this go on for more than one day.

>mfw everyone in this thread is beta enough to let any of this shit go on for more than one day.

>>6147723

Nope, not a Heather. The implication that there are more than one of these running around concerns me though.

>>6146360
Holy fuck you sound insufferable. Complaining about recyclables? Really?

>>6146360
You do sound strict. It's a fuckin butter knife.

>>6148041
Too intense. Had to stop for breaks whe reading

>go away for 2 weeks
>come back to rotting food in the fridge
>kitchen smells
>dirty stove top
>unwashed dishes
>food stains on the wall
>missing cutlery

I cleaned the entire kitchen head to toe and 3 days later it was back to filth. I've given on up on even using my kitchen now.

Lived with around 10 different roomates within my 24-31 year period... Love these threads and have/will again contribute moar stories.

Made it to 29 without a single roommate. Worked two jobs to make sure I never had to have one. God damn am I glad I busted ass for my peace and quiet. Moving in to my first house soon. Feels good man.

>Boasts they are an amazing cook with a chef degree and everything
>everything they cook burns into the pan as they leave it there and walk off
>only an amazing cook such as themselves can just leave food in a pan frying as they walk off to do something else
>without even removing the food stuck from the bottom of the pan they just throw water in and leave it on the side
>they wonder why they can't get it out later so they do as much as they can then just leave the pan in the cupboard as if it would be impossible to get that thin layer of burnt food out from the bottom

>>6146418
>neil ... showered barefoot by the way
How else are you supposed to shower??

>picturing OP showering in socks, or even in snowboots, or maybe in Wellies

>>6148312
He should be using flip flops

>>6147546
Most Americans keep butter in the fridge. Most of those don't realize that butter doesn't spoil quickly at room temperature, just a little bit more quickly than refrigerated.

>>6148415

I'm that person and I don't keep it in the fridge (unless I buy 4lbs from costco, then I keep most of it in there) and, while my parents kept fucking everything in the fridge because they're insane, I've never encountered anyone else that thought that this was abnormal. So congrats to that dude, you're as nuts as my parents. They're fucking batshit insane.

>>6148418
My old housemates would leave sticks of butter out in the sun so you'd wake up in the morning to melted butter seeping out of its glass case it was the fucking worst and turned me off butter ever since. I used to try putting it in the fridge but would get bitched at.

The dude with Angry Tranny seems decent overall, and she seems awful, but I have to admit, I'd be pissed off too if someone stood in the kitchen all day and made bread.

Same goes for the "intensive, loving meal" thing. The only time I ever hear about that from people they're either married and are cooking for family, or are the kind of people who expect to be able to eat all of your shit too because they slaved over a meal you didn't ask for. My old roommate was great, but he was constantly making big meals for everyone, which made me feel like shit, because I didn't want to go through the effort of cooking for everyone.

>>6146360
>teflon
there's your problem right there mate

>>6147997
>Drink 8 beers after dinner since i didn't feel full
>didn't feel full
>Drink 8 beers
>8 beers
>8
Just admit you are an alcoholic.

>work as dishwasher
>come home every day to a sink/stove full of dishes, many with dried out/old food in them
>stove now home to weed smoking tray with assorted weed smoking apparatuses
>garbage bin filled up every 1 and a half days with takeout containers, millions of paper towels, food wrappers, and all sorts of recyclables/compostables
>mfw they bitch at me, who makes 2-3 items of garbage in the kitchen every day max because they don't think i'm taking out the garbage enough
>mfw food rotting in our fridge (luckily i seal my shit off from theirs because i'm not retarded)
>mfw no one ever puts the clean dishes away in the place they go
>mfw my food gets stolen and no one wants to fess up ("i didn't touch it" "that's shitty man, do you want some of my food?" "i'm pretty sure no one's eaten pork chop dude")
>mfw i've given up completely on keeping other common areas orderly (except the bathroom), live my life in the kitchen, my room, and outside of the house

>>6148514
oh what's more

>have decent chef's knife, christmas gift from a few years back, use it all the time and hopeful it'll come in handy at work some day
>constantly finding it under piles of dishes, bottom of the sink under an inch of water, in the dry dish rack
>tell everyone if they want to use it they have to take care of it
>they stop using it

thank CHRIST

>>6147716
trannabees.
>toppest of keks.

>Not buying a mini fridge for your room
>Not keeping all your expensive knifes, pots, and pans neatly tucked away in your room
>not washing your shit when you are done and returning it to your room
>not leaving your left overs in your mini fridge
>not letting the others slumber in their own shit hole kitchen that they argue about cleaning all day

Keeping your shit to yourself and avoiding room mates is best way to deal with the lazy ones that cause mess and steal things. You also get out of any arguments about how clean the place is due to you having your own shit and proof that you don't use or touch any of the plates left in the sink.

>>6148527
The autism is strong in this one

>>6148538

Oh i'm sorry, enjoy being a beta whilst other people take advantage of you, ruin your shit, eat your food, and steal shit from you whilst you sit locked in your room crying on 4chan about it whilst they are fucking your girlfriend all over the kitchen. Remember to clean up after them anon you wouldn't want them to be mad at you.

>>6148540
I agree with the original post, mini fridge and all - especially if trying to keep a few beers cold with thieving housemates.
Doesn't the pots, pans and knives thing get tedious though? Can't you get a cupboard each that's off limits to everyone else?

>>6148540

Like hiding in your room all day afraid of someone ruining "ur precious things" isn't even more beta. It's the people like you who get laughed at, and eventually fucked with, because it's painfully obvious how much of a scene you'll make if someone scratches your pan.

>>6148548
I guess so, it really depends on your room mates, I've always had good room mates. But see so many posts on /ck/ about shitty room mates that ruin pans and shit that in the end i personally would just keep my stuff to myself, or what you said at least come down with some sort of deal that we each have our own cupboard. But reading some of these stories i really doubt any of these room mates would understand that concept.
I Guess it wont be as tedious as coming home to find all your shit in the sink used and needing to clean it yourself before you can cook for yourself.

>>6148550
How old are you? 7?

>Letting people fuck with your shit
>breaking your pots and pans
>leaving it for you to clean up after

>but no no you are beta for completely avoiding that situation for a better life style and not cleaning up after other people
>if i caught you avoiding simple problems like this i would instantly try to fuck with you in some way

You sound like a cunt.

>>6147171
> and there are totally TOILET SPIDERS everywhere

the what now?

>>6148554
In my house (own it), when I still had roommates we had 2 fridges (one for me and one for the 2 roommates.
Separate pots, pans, utensils and cutlery.
Our own pantry/larder shelf each.

The whole 5 years they lived with me we had no problems aside from when one of them cooked pasta, ate it from a unique red bowl he owned, left it on the bench and then when it was still there (uncleaned) 2 weeks later he blamed one of us for using it. Obviously we backed each other up and he cleaned it while bitching and crying.

It's pretty anal to be honest but it sure cut back on bickering, cleaning, etc.

>>6147188
>Heh. But I feel you on the collecting ammunition. I've done a lot of that before. If my current housemate doesn't pay his share of the bills, I can tell the police he smokes pot, and he'll be deported from the country. Isn't that amazing?
>Main reason why I don't do drugs--don't want to hand people that ammo.

your housemate might be horrible but you sound like a pathetic passive aggressive twat yourself. cheers

>>6148571
That sounds like a pretty decent routine, me and my brother had a similar routine when we was poorfags and lived together, we literally owned one plate each so we would be unable to eat unless we cleaned our own plate.
A lot of people here sound like they've been dumped with the 18 year olds that have just been kicked out from their parents basement and still expect others to do their cleaning for them.

>>6148562

I wouldn't fuck with my roommates personally, but I know plenty of people that would, especially at a young age when they're in college or something. People LOVE getting a rise out of others, especially the kind who will make a big deal about hiding their things.

People get annoyed at people who blow things out of proportion.

>>6146360
>3 housemates who were boring as fuck and stayed in their rooms all the time
>whole year of uni and they went for one night out returning at 10pm
>barely talk to me when I see them
>I am the guy in your story

>>6148584
Well as long as you are not a massive faggot that has to make a big deal of things i am sure most room mates would completely miss that you are leaving your things in your room. Even if they noticed i am sure they would not jump to the conclusion of "HIS DOING IT SO HE DOESNT HAVE TO CLEAN MY SHIT LETS GO FUCK WITH HIM"

I'd be so pissed if i found out someone had gone into my room, i keep expensive shit in their i'd get the fuck away from those thieving bastards or kick them out straight away.

>>6148599

In a lot of ways, it depends on how soon you set the tone for that. If you move in, and have immediately kept your stuff in the room, it's a quirk, but it probably won't get you picked on. However, if you get all cranky about someone using your dishware or not cleaning it soon enough or messing up a pan of yours and decide to take the house's entire supply of cookware into your room, you'll probably get picked on by roommates.

>>6146433
Sounds fine to me.

>going to work
>on thursdays my office does a late meeting where we have a beer or two and make sure everything is running smoothly on projects

>live with a pair of apparently retarded people

>usually on thursdays I get home late and don't get to eat until about 9
>this particular thursday I get a text asking if I'd be interested in stir fry if one of my roommates made it
>she can't particularly cook but it's just stir fry
>sure why not

>looking forward to not having to cook after getting home

>get home
>"your stir fry is in the oven"
>plate is foil covered and everything
>sit down
>eat
>the fuck is this disgusting pile of nonsensical flavours?
>another bite
>seriously, the fuck?
>"What's in this?"
>it appears to be lamb but I can't identify what else is happening
>roommate barely looks up from laptop as she tells me what's in it
>onion, lamb, ginger, garlic, bbq sauce (because "it's sort of like soy sauce"), dried rosemary and thyme, fresh cilantro by the fistful, various vegetables, aaaaand potato

>stare in disbelief
>she doesn't notice

I always turn her down when she offers to cook something these days.

>5:30 AM
>woken up to loud music
>late enough, just get up
>housemate cooking frozen dumplings
>house smells like burned shit
>he's smashed and high
>aggressively trying to get me to eat dumplings he slathers sriracha on
>I just want coffee, I'm not eating burned spicy asian food this early. (Disclaimer: I like spicy food so hot it burns a hole in the cookware. But not for breakfast.)
>get coffee
>other housemate comes home from her night job
>hears music
>goes and flips a shit, gets him to shut up
>heads to bed

>>6147558

Gayfriend sounds great. Mature guy with his life put together. Just a warning: old cats pee on everything. Keep your room closed. Otherwise he'll be more responsible and cleanly than the bros.

I'm a female living with males, and I haven't been raped yet. One stares at my tits when he's drunk, but that's it. Stop being so fussy about it. Gaybro probably doesn't even want your pasty ass.

>>6148621
>stare in disbelief

laughed harder than i should've

>>6148527
Jesus one of the people I lived with in second year of uni done this. He used to cook then walk back to his room with a hot pan of food then go back to the kitchen and get a plate and cutlery. What a cunt. He moved back to his parents after 3 months because he preferred the hour commute to uni. What a cunt.

>>6147677
>Have theories...

Explain further. Only thing I can reckon is they burn it so bad they have to toss it in secret shame.

>>6147997
>Have the loudest and most annoying sex

That's hot. It's like free porn.

>They carried me to my bed and tucked me into bed
>unload gun so you don't trip on it

That's so sweet. You should treasure them, man, they sound nice.

>>6148113
>Complaining about recyclables? Really?

I-it's the law.

>>6148041
I would pay good money for your services.

>>6148516

>had one good knife
>imported from Europe (switzerland I think)
>sharp enough to cut paper
>keep it in its sheath
>come home
>find housemate used it to cut butter
>left it dirty
>THROWS it into the goddamned sink
>CLANG CLANG CLANG
>she walks away
>what I mean is waddled away slowly, because she was a fat ugly pig and that's justice enough for me

It's alright, I have a knife sharpener, bitch.

>>6148527

Why should I have to carry food down and pans up every day in my own house? That's a lot of hassle.

>>6146466
Dude, Burglary is the act of illegaly entering a house with intent to commit a crime. Robbery is the act of robbing a person or a place. Theft is taking someone else's property.

It was robbery and theft, but not burglary, because he lived there.

Although, if the asians had a lock on their door, it could be considered burglary of the room.

But yeah, it was a robbery, not necessarily a burglary.

Marginally kitchen related.

>winter, northeast US
>come home
>windows are open
>all of them
>heat is on
>wat
>close windows, find housemate
>he wanted some fresh air
>with the heat on

>few days ago
>feels hot in house
>go look
>thermostat turned to 77
>seventy freaking seven
>turn down to 70

>guy responsible for the above two is a physics major
>can't fathom why the windows being open with heat on is a bad thing

>>6148621

If you remove the bbq sauce, and ideally the cilantro and ginger, it wouldn't be that bad. Stirfried potato is a thing, although it's more common in curry. bbq just has me puzzled why she thought that would be a good idea.

>>6147188
You sound like an absolute cunt and I hope someone beats you down for even suggesting snitching on someone for taking drugs. Fuck you.

>>6148689
uh oh, we got a badass over here
don't like the law? don't fuck over someone who will legally report you for being a stupid druggie fucktard

Not so much a complaint as a lament.

>one roommate moves out
>we replace him with a grill
>kind of cute but more bro material than wife material
>we all get along well

>this is her first time living out of home
>goes a bit nuts the first week
>buys fruitloops to be her breakfast cereal
>in the first week bakes brownies twice
>drinks a carton of beer in the first two weeks

>other roommate and I think this is kind of amusing but assume she'll settle down once she figures out that she can't eat like that forever

>it gets worse
>she keeps up the fruitloops
>but the servings get larger and larger
>is baking about four batches of brownies/muffins/cookies a week and eats about 95% of them herself
>goes through a decent amount of beer and a 30 pack of coke cans each month
>starts getting fat really quickly

>should we say something?
>don't want to piss her off, bitches be sensitive about their weight

She lived with us for a full 12 months and while she was okay looking at the start because her body was good, by the end she was getting some serious rolls. She must have put on 15kg in a single year. I regret never trying to say something to her about eating a little more carefully.

>>6148693
when I moved out I lived on oatmeal and rice because a decent apartment is costly and I can't deal with roomates

wish I could AFFORD to be fat

>>6148691
Don't like drugs? Then keep your mouth shut and don't ruin someones life cause your a little bitch.

>4 person student apartment with 2 beds in each room
>me and my friend in one, another friend and an asshole we got stuck with in the other
>always being his asshole friends into this tiny apartment to drink smoke and make noise
>I'm trying to work
>hate his guts after about 2 days
>after a few months I hear somebody come in the front door giggling
>was asleep and now awake and mad
>its one of the assholes friends and a couple of girls
>they are robbing my food for some reason
>I smack the food out of his hands and knock him on his ass and throw them out
>couple of nights later his friends come over to beat me up
>my roommate opens the door and clocked the two of them
>I didnt even wake up duing this
>a state of war exists for the rest of the year

In a little while I'll be moving to another city and will have to share a house again, I am dreading it. Houses are always full of freaks or messy people.

>>6148725
how about you go to jail and rot in prison for being a dependent fag?
Whatsat? truth hurts cocksucker

>>6148725
>don't ruin someone's life
>while they're sitting at home, jobless, stoned 24/7, not paying any bills and leeching off someone else's good will

>>6148753

I have a few stories actually

>another student apartment in roughest part of city
>sharing 3 bed flat with 1 friend
>somehow a ghetto local gets to move into the spare room
>my friend moves out to apartment upstairs because he does not like him
>what was once a chilled out place to live has now been turned into a drug den
>livingroom always has at least 8 of fuckheads friends in it doing drugs, selling drugs and going crazy
>place is now a shithole
>random people sleeping there
>things being robbed
>I dont leave my room any more
>pakistani student moves into other spare room
>this guy has never drank or smoked and is religious
>they corrupt him somehow and now hes drinking, doing drugs, bringing fat old crackhead hookers home
>year is almost done, place is totally fucked and I know that at least my deposit is gone because of these fucknuckles
>the dickhead leaves one day with the place still a bombsite
>I quietly leave and make my escape without saying anything
>few months later see the Pakistani guy on the street
>he goes crazy saying he had to pay thousands of euros worth of damage since he was the only one left
>wants money
>I say I'll pay him later
>never see him again

>flatmates had a party last night
>Apparently
>I didn't find out until I went into the kitchen this morning
>How the fuck were they so quiet about it
>Bottles, cans, trash everywhere
>Fuckers used my mugs
>Fuckers used my tea towels
>Fuckers left like half a pizza, loads of bags of crisps, bags of sweets, chocolate biscuits on table too
>Take a bunch of the leftover party food
>We cool

>>6146360
I would literally have killed those people, like all of them dead, me in jail. Mind you it would take a while it sounds like those people don't have much family so you could probably get away with slow and painful torture. The worst thing I had was a buddy that kept using soap on my cast iron pan although I didn't mind because he was helping with dishes and was generally a great person.

>>6146483
You're either crazy that you didn't find somewhere else to live or you just made that up. I'm leaning towards the latter.

>>6148538
>>6148550

You sound like one of the assholes everyone is bitching about in here.

>>6148693

What a dumb bitch. I swear, college kids are not necessarily bright. Some lack all common sense. Forgettaboutit, you aren't her keeper. The rolls are a warning to future men that she'll lard up given the chance.

I lost weight after I started cooking for myself. I eat mainly oatmeal, fruit, eggs, and vegetables... Meat is expensive, and so is junk food. I'm too cheap to be fat. Plus if I gain weight I need to buy new clothes, fuck that. If my clothes start getting tight I skip meals until they're good.

Dunno how fat people get the money to be so fat.

>>6148753
>>I smack the food out of his hands

Did you try talking first? That's pretty harsh.

>>6148764

You didn't report the ghetto shit? That's harsh too man, poor paki.

>>6147155
I just don't get how people enjoy soda with artificial sweetener. It tastes bitter and the flavour makes me nauseated, the only non-sugar sweetener I've ever enjoyed is xylitol.

>>6148757
>how about you go to jail and rot in prison for being a dependent fag?

Not that guy, but I have no idea what kind of point you're trying to make. He can go to prison for being dependent? Who is he dependent on?

>>6147163
Hmm weird that he didn't wrap it in foil first. Have you tried an oven cleaning solution or a non-polar solvent? I'd assume you've tried soap and water. Baked soda is pretty useful as well, just throw baking soda in the oven for a bit and it'll oxidize a bit and get more alkaline to remove the last bits. Everclear/rectified spirit is pretty much guarenteed to take out the carbonized food remnants if you've got the bulk scraped off. Not really worth the effort if the guy keeps doing it though.

>>6147188
Just get your drugs legally if you're that manipulative, it's not that hard if you put your mind to it. I have legal speed, picked up some legal opiates a while ago and have tried a myriad of fun and interesting chemicals that you wouldn't initially believe to be abusable like bupropion and some anxiety medications like gabapentin. Also, do drugs, don't tell anyone or have evidence that they do as well, that's my motto. I'm kind of on the fence though, it kind of sucks that you're willing to rat someone out but money is time and time is finite so I can't blame you provided they've been a drain on you for a while.

>>6147207
Suggestion: buy the guy a new pizza stone, you get pizza and he gets his stuff back.

>>6148757
Lmao look at this guy throw a hissy fit

>>6147558
Ah but if only you realized how layered with innuendo your statements are. Go with the reliable, older man; being spitroasted is great but you'll want the guy who knows how to use a tool. Seriously though the older guy is most likely going to be more reliable than the younger ones.

>>6148769
>Fuckers left like half a pizza, loads of bags of crisps, bags of sweets, chocolate biscuits on table too
>Take a bunch of the leftover party food
>We cool

I do that as well. When there's a party its usually me who's most willing to clean but I sneak a few bottles of leftover alcohol in my room for later consumption.

>>6148890

you kinda sound like a cunt.

When my roomies throw parties and alcohol gets left, we all enjoy it as a group and hang out.

"Hey anon, the guys left some booze here, wana get drunk and play final fantasy 7?"

"Yes."

>>6147558

Go for the gay guy, obviously. Hell, he might even ask to blow you, and it would be rude to turn him down. I mean, come on, what's the harm in a little bro-job?

>>6148487
Depends on the frequency of the intake and the body mass. If the guy is very muscular it could severely decrease the rate of absorption/intoxication levels. A buddy of mine that is an actual alcoholic drinks about 750ml of vodka a day. I used to work at a liquor store with him and watched it progress over time and hopefully him being in the army will let him clean up. I've had some pretty crazy drinking nights (I'd match him, alcoholism/iron livers run in the family) with him however I don't really drink at all anymore unless he's around up until recently where we had a discussion about his health. I stopped doing most drugs because I value mental acuity too much to continue doing them. I'd try to play a strategy game, read a paper or do math and just become infuriated killing my buzz. I still have wine with steak and have mushrooms on my pizza if y'all know what I mean. 8 beers ain't that much though bub.

>>6148861
I believe he means dependent on drugs, which is of course not always the case but in these examples it sounds a lot like they are dependent.

>>6147949
It's just a harmless horseback riding machine.
It's filmed at those specific angles to make it seem lewd. Pretty popular on Nico Nico Douga.

>roommates only clean dishes and silverware with these
>never use a sponge
>put some soap right before they start then never use any more
>every dish is oily
>always at least one dish with gunk still on it
>silverware with spit marks still on it
>they haphazardly throw all the dishes into a huge pile so nothing dries for multiple hours
>stupid cunt doesn't clean her coffee pot until mold grows in it

my buddy was super lazy and left his now-passed grandmas cast iron skillet in the sink for about 2 weeks with some tomato pasta he reheated still stuck on it

>go out to yard today, first time in a while because winter
>find a wine bottle, several soda cans, and a bag of trash in the yard
>bottles full of cig butts
>go in garage
>crumpled soda cans and cig butts everywhere

Filthy pig. Going to make the place look like a crack den if he keeps it up.

>>6148862
>Baked soda is pretty useful as well, just throw baking soda in the oven for a bit and it'll oxidize a bit and get more alkaline to remove the last bits.

That I can do. It's fine to get it in all the crevices and cracks? The issue is that I can't reach, there are like slots at the bottom (for a heating elements, I assume) where the sandwich bits fell, and I can't reach in there to get them. Do I need to run the oven or just throw the baking soda in room temp?

>>6148890

Payment for cleaning services rendered.

>>6149041
and it didnt rust??

>>6148908
I do share food ive prepared and alcohol that ive bought personally with them. Doesnt stop me from doing what I described earlier

>>6148725
>ruining a drug addicts life
>implying they didn't completely ruin their own life with their shitty choiced
>mfw

>>6146360
>be me couple nights ago
>Go to kitchen to retrieve water cause thirst
>Notice my pb is not where I left it and the lid is half ass screwed on
>mfw roommate touched it
>go to check my strawberry jam to check if she got pb in it since I can't stand that
>sure as shit there's pb in mah smuckers
>grossed out so hide my jam in the crisper
Can't stand when people touch my food. I bought it for myself.

>>6148452

I wouldn't do the bread thing if I thought it were an inconvenience. I did it for the house, on the request of everyone who isn't Angry Tranny. I really do try to stay out of the way and like I said, the kitchen is huge, so there's lots of room for other things to be done.

And yeah, I'm a dork about the meal thing. I have a kid and Beta Domme is technically family, so I cook for everyone a lot. Don't need my dick sucked about it or anything, but it hurts my feelers a bit when someone is being a blatant ass.

I see where you're coming from on both though. Like I said, I'm not perfect at all. But I'm not actively being a jackass, you know?

>>6149119
>with their shitty choiced
most hard addicts suffered abuses as children
so it's like reaching for a blanket on a cold night for them

>>6148569

http://www.snopes.com/horrors/insects/telamonia.asp

>>6149201
that's some good enabling skills you have there.
>there, there buddy. daddy touched your butthole when you were a kid, have some heroin.

>>6149283
I'm not enabling anyone.
Haven't raped anyone or locked anyone in a basement for 12 years and beaten them daily.
I don't think that addicts should stay addicts and encourage several people I know to stay clean but you should understand that it's near to an involuntary compulsion.

>HS Best friend and I move and get an apartment for college
>Shit's fkin cash for the first month or so
>Splitting groceries because we can both cook
>Play the same vidya, dat couch co-op
>Fuck hoes from the same clique when they were in HS, they love coming over because they drink for free and they get to see friends
>Only thing we don't share is alcohol because he prefers beer and vodka and everclear mixes and I prefer whiskey and kahlua and cider
>His gf (still in HS) breaks up with him because she found out he was cheating on her
>Start noticing things about a week later
>Leaving pans full of bacon grease and the splatters on the stove
>Cooks breakfast with two pans because he "Can't fry eggs in bacon grease, that's unhealthy as fuck"
>Bakes fish for dinner sometimes but leaves the fish out in the pan overnight because he "has to go to work and doesn't have time to put it up"
>>Gets mad when I put it in the fridge in a container
>>Gets mad when I eat it (even though we split groceries)
>>Won't eat it the day after because it's been sitting out all night so just throws it away
>Always has 3-4 rifles/handguns in the house even though the landlord told us if they find any it's immediate termination for both of us
>"I don't care what she says, if she wants to go to court over the right to bear arms then let's go to court"
>Waves them around when drunk
>Starts drinking excessively whenever he doesn't have class/work
>Thinks he can cook after his fourth shot of everclear
>Keeps burning shit because he doesn't preheat the oven and almost never uses a pan
>Threw a fit when I started using his everclear to clean the carbon off the oven racks because nothing else would

I have more but I don't know how close I am to the text limit
(1/x)

>>6149292
>you should understand that it's near to an involuntary compulsion.
Bull fucking shit! You drug apologists make me sick.
Because someone was victimized does not mean that they have lost control over their actions. What the fuck is wrong with you? With that outlook and attitude on drugs, you are without a doubt an enabler.

>>6149298
(2/x)

>Start noticing that food is disappearing at higher than usual rates
>Tell him to cut back on it because I can't afford to buy much more food every week
>Doesn't cut back, so I start going to the store without him (worked nights and slept all day anyways)
>Starts eating my food without paying me back
>Nah nigga that's not how this works
>Comes home one day with a mini fridge and groceries of his own
>Thinks I'll start stealing his food because he stole mine
>Whatever
>Mini fridge ups electricity bill about $20/mo
>Tell him I'm not paying that because he doesn't need the fridge
>Refuses to pay it unless I split it with him
>Refuse to pay, electricity gets cut off
>Furious because it's in my name and it makes me look bad
>Pay because it's finals week and I don't have time for this shit
>Kitchen floors always a mess because he kept the mop in his room
>Keep asking him to set it out before he goes to work and I'll clean it before I went to bed/when I woke up
>Never does
>Go into his room and find the mop, clean the floor, put it back
>Comes home and sees clean floor
>Furious that I went in his room
>Don't mention the hydros I saw sitting on his dresser in front of the window
>Also don't mention the two or three extra guns that I didn't know he had just lying around his room
>Kitchen keeps staying a mess, refuses to use the dishwasher because it "uses too much water" and he does his "fair share of dishes"
>Fair Share: The plate and cup you're going to be using to eat on
>Load the sinkfull of dishes into the dishwasher, put them away
>Leave for the weekend to party with bros, come back on Monday and see another sink full of dishes
>Mad when I load them into the dishwasher again
>Whateva nigga

>>6149318
If by "hyrdos" you mean he's growing weed, this is where I would bail. The combination of guns and growing illegal drugs is putting you at risk for a felony charge. A felony is much worse than any kind of kitchen issues.

>>6149318
3/3 because I got shit to do

>Starts bringing home random sl00ts from work
>I don't care because they're hot and they flirt with me and they're the funny ratchet black girls
>One weekend he brings home two and the girls drink my ciders
>Muh Angry Orchard 12 pack
>Wouldn't care if he paid my back for the ciders but refuses, says he's not the one that drank them
>Start drinking his vodka when he isn't home to spite him
>Never says anything about it

>Leave for another weekend with bruhs
>Notice there was some ground beef in the fridge that he bought (his mini fridge is now devoted entirely to alcohol and he's moved back into the main fridge)
>Goes out of date today so stick a note on the fridge door telling him to fix it so it doesn't stink the kitchen
>Come back on Monday
>He's passed out on the couch
>Note still on the fridge
>Aw fuck
>it's fkin green yo
>Go to the dollar store and buy a box of A&H to clear it out a little
>When he wakes up for work tell him to pitch it in the dumpster on his way out, go to bed
>Wake up in the middle of the night
>Go to the kitchen to get some water
>Open fridge
>Beef still there
>Throw it on his bed and go back to sleep
>Wake up about 7:30, "Is this a fucking joke?" from his room
>Turn over and smile and go back to sleep
>Wake up later and he just threw the beef into the trashcan, now it's stinking the entire kitchen
>Close enough, take out the trash because it needs to be taken out anyway
>He wakes up
>"There's fucking blood on my sheets now asshole, what the fuck"
>Nigga I told you to do something with it last week

>>6149330
"Hydros" meaning "hydrocodone" that he got from the ratchet hot black girls (who got it from their grandmothers) because he told them "his hemorrhoids hurt like a bitch."

I've since then moved out, even though I'm still on the lease. I've talked to the landlord and she knows that I'm not living there anymore, so she's not holding me responsible for whatever happens until the lease is up.

>live with husband and one roommate, husband's best friend
>roommate's household has always been 'mommy makes me whatever I want and if I don't like it she just kisses my forehead and makes me something else'
>husband and I were both raised to eat whatever is on the plate. Don't like what's on the plate? Sucks to be you.
>naturally we have some disagreements

>celebrating roommate getting a nice new job
>go to the store to get ingredients for a nice winter stew
>he picks all the ingredients, I buy them and make it
>finish making soup, I admit it wasn't the greatest but it was okay
>he walks in after having taken one bite
>"this was bad"
>throws bowl in sink and stomps off

>I buy some good wine and steak to make for New Year's
>in the past roommate has been very vocal about how gross I am for eating medium-rare steak
>"UR GONNA GET SICK ANON EWWW"
>naturally know that he is gonna whine about the way his steak is cooked
>"I want mine well"
>cringe but make it, hand him his plate when it's done
>he sits and looks over it sighing for a solid two minutes before finally muttering "I'll eat it I guess" and stomping off to the table
>husband reminds him to say thank you to me for buying AND cooking his steak
>"siiiigh thanks for the food"
>he eats most of it and then fires up the stove and cooks the last few pieces of his steak past recognition

last time I do shit for you you ungrateful cocksucker

>>6149360
>"Hydros" meaning "hydrocodone"
Got you. Glad you're out of there. Filthy kitchen and rotting food is bad enough, but belligerent drunk who likes to wave his guns around is accident waiting to happen. I actually knew someone it happened to. The guy accidentally shot one of his friends (killed her) because he was showing off his guns to his buddies while wasted. You don't want to be around that.

>>6146489
>prologue
uwot

>>6147070
We have the same colander anon

>>6149385
that manchild is literally autistic

>>6149196

Yeah, as I mentioned, you seem like a cool dude. The bread and meal things would probably be minor irritants that I would never bring up. Kind of like with my current roommate. He works nights and makes a mess on the living room table every night, but it's always cleaned up within an hour of him waking up, so I cant bitch.

>>6146360
>recyclables in trash bin

Why is this a problem? Who cares if you don't recycle a couple of bottles?

I have the most horrible anal roommate ever.

> gets mad at me for smoking in the house even though they're only ever home at night
> never cooks for me even though I offer pizza rolls all the time
> gets pissed at me for talking on teamspeak at night.
> He has girls over all the time but never introduces their friends to me
> Does loud cleaning around me when I'm trying to focus on gaming
> throws away my leftover food because he claims it's old and smells

I could go on and on.

>>6149638
>"loud cleaning around my while im trying to focus on gaming"

of course he doesnt want to introduce women to some manchild that would embarrass him

>>6149385
how old is he

>>6149638
Protip: You're the horrible roommate.

>>6149638

Not sure if serious.

>>6149651
24.

>>6148908
>wana get drunk and play final fantasy 7?"
You fags aren't all virgins like this guy right?

Right?

>>6146360
Why the fuck are you using a teflon pan? OP needs to become an ultimate hero

I guess I have it pretty good judging from some of the posts in this thread.
Currently living with a 79 year-old old woman who made it clear that she was only "renting a room, not the entire apartment" the day I moved in.
I don't have much space for my things, but overall it's a nice, clean, well-mantained house.
We are both "responsible adults" who do their own dishes, clean regularly, don't make much noise, don't steal food, etc.

If only she would stop talking.
Seriously, I don't need to know about how her rectal cream applicator is working out for her, or that she "needs to know a partner first before sleeping with them" (79 year-old, remember), but she wouldn't anyway since her husband died 10 years ago. She's also got a hernia and complains all day about how it hurts, and I'm sorry for that, really, but it gets a little aggravating after a while.
When I cook she always has to pop in the kitchen to ask me what I'm making, offer her opinion on how it should be made and then continue to babble because once she starts talking she never stops.
I just want to have a quiet meal while browsing the internet.
I admit that I'm not a really sociable person, so probably it's also my own fault if sometimes I feel like I really can't stand her anymore.
But once I finish college and get a steady job I'm moving out to a studio.

>>6148908
The scenario munchy boxes were designed for. Though if it was me I'd pick Tekken 3

>>6149360

>mfw I can't afford ground beef
>he lets his go to waste

Man, would have baked a pseudo shepherd's pie.

My housemate has a pack of eight dollar stew beef in the fridge and I salivate to look at it. I only ever eat chicken because it's cheaper.

>>6149608

Besides the environment and the law (law in my town you MUST recycle), the big cans and bottles fill up the trash very quickly. A milk jug can take up like a third of it by itself. So it's actually wasteful and costly not to recycle. You might think, whatever, but you do it every single time and it adds up, my man. You could be buying twice as many trash bags as necessary if you don't separate your recyclables. and a box of bags can be five bucks. For that you could get a cheap bottle of wine.

You get free wine if you recycle. Now you see, yes?

>>6149638

>have this asshole housemate
>smokes in the house when we're gone, come home to it stinking
>always after my food and cooking
>spend an hour cooking a good meal, he wants a piece
>fuck you
>"but I offered you some microwaved pizza rolls the other day anon, gibs me dat"
>no, nigger, gtfo
>stays up all night shouting at vidya, wakes everyone up
>bring girls over, he creeps all over them, cockblocks me because the girls get freaked out
>never cleans
>try to clean, he won't even move his ass out of the way because he's attached to the game console
>leaves food to fester in the fridge
>gets pissy when we toss it for him

The solution I have is that I rule my kitchen.

If anyone is in my kitchen, they get threatened with my perfectly sharpened knives and are told that they may end up in the chili.

>>6149833
>Seriously, I don't need to know about how her rectal cream applicator is working out for her

man, she's dropping hints all over the place
time to tap it
and tap it good

>>6149836
what is a munch box and why dont i know of any around me

>>6149851
>ground beef
>would have baked a pseudo shepherd's pie.

...a Cottage Pie?

Reading these stories...
>tfw I'm one of the stoners who always hangs out at the house and doesn't live there
>yet I'm the main one who cleans/gets others to clean

I'm there so often, I have my own bowl, plate, silverware, honey, tea, oats, rice and beans there. Although I haven't cooked there in a long time because it's always a mess. The most I'll make is instant oatmeal now.

One day, I found the lid to my tea carton gone. All the tea was intact, just the lid gone. Stale tea, yay! So I pissed on the pillow of the guy who took it. Never had another issue.

Not housemate but guy I work with didn't know what a parsnip or a turnip were until the other day. He still doesn't know what to do with them and he's about 27.

One of my ex's had no idea how to use the oven and only ever had instant meals that he could shove in the microwave. Would also leave the fridge open and just walk off, pretty much a mummys boy

Housemates I had during uni were actually kinda abusive. One of them i swear had anger issues and he hit me really hard on the butt with a shoe one time, and just walked out the room when I was in tears without apologising.
There was of course the normal no-one tidying their rubbish in the kitchen and just dumping plates under the sofa and not tidying up at all. One of the guys girlfriend that'd stay over would molt like a dog too, so much dried out red hair everywhere.

>>6147195
>>There's a vagina in the fridge.
>>A silicon fleshy looking thing with a harness.
>>What's that red stuff?
>>Oh Jesus, it's supposed to be blood.
>She wanted to pretend to be on her period, so apparently acquired the equipment, then for reasons unknown to me, stored it in the fridge. Maybe to keep it fresh?


wha...what happened? what? what what whatwhatwhat

>WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING

>>6147997
They sound great man.

>>6146507
was this south lake tahoe by any chance?

cap 1

>tfw I legitimately enjoy doing the dishes
you have no idea how useful it's been

and cap 2

Angry Tranny folks, not only is there a fake vagina in your fridge, there's more than one of them out there

>>6150424
Did you do this from a calculator or something?

>>6150427

yes.

>>6146438
>Rent on a room in a houseshare is about half the cost of the cheapest apartment.


I'd much rather spend twice as much on an apartment so that I can live in a clean, happy, peaceful environment. All my friends who have roommates hate their living situations and continually bounce from shitty household to shitty household with no one sharing responsibilities equally or respecting each other.

Fortunately I live alone now, and my food-related stories with roommates aren't as bad as the non-food related ones.

Nevertheless:
>live with a couple, man and woman, both in college
>woman likes to try out different recipes online of literally whatever
>fridge and several cabinets are crowded with partially used ingredients
>frequently, at least one of them goes bad and have to be thrown away
>several end up smelling something awful before they're discovered

And on top of that
>she prefers to bring bottled to her classes >finishes them when she gets home
>almost never throws them away
so every week...
>on the kitchen counter, a few empty water bottles
>next to fridge, 2 or 3 empty water bottles
>just outside their bedroom door, 1 or 2 empty water bottles
>under the boyfriend's computer desk, yep, a few empty water bottles
>on the large bookshelf, at least one water bottle
>sit on the couch, "oh look, a water bottle under the pillow"
>sit on the sofa chair, you just sat on a hidden water bottle
this went on for 8 months or so until she broke up with her boyfriend and moved out

>>6149638
pretty certain you're the horrible roommate there, anon

After reading this thread:

Am I the only stoner in the world who is meticulously clean? blaze it all day erry day but I'll be damned if you ever find a hair in my bathroom sink or a dirty dish left on the counter for more than 15 minutes

i always lurk to see if somebody i knew posts

>>6150053
you'd have no teeth left if you did that in a house i lived in.

>>6150633
Nah. Not the same but I am kind of a drunk and when I get one stiff drink in me I clean my whole apartment. When I used to smoke every day I worked graveyard so I was home all day and my place was immaculate. It makes you focus on dirty shit and that drove me crazy. It even got my roommates to feel bad about being slobs so they started cleaning up real nice. Win win

>>6150092

You started crying because he hit you on the ass with a shoe? Are you able to control your emotions?

>>6147149
What kind of bread anon?

>>6150633
>clean means something

>>6147207
Buy him a new pizza stone you douche

My roommate doesn't clean up after himself very well, we usually eat together but I generally do 'domestic shit', don't mind much though because he fucks like a fucking stallion. Hnnng.

>not fucking your roommate
you're doing it wrong.

>water and cigarette butts in dishes
>cig ashes on stove
I know that feel
My dad had to move in with me and if I wasn't moving in a few months I'd blow my brains out

>have roommate
>be at work
>roommate "forgets" to close fridge and gets high in her room
>come home from work
>fridge is open
>everything is completely room temp
>she left the fridge open for at least 10 hours without noticing
I had throw everything I had pretty much
I should also mention since she only eats frozen dinners and ranch dressing that the fridge getting fucked didn't really effect her
>she does the same thing next month
dumbest bitch I have ever met

>>6148757
>implying jail is a proper rehabilitation center for criminals, despite the lack of services designated for the moral and intellectual improvement of degenerates.
>implying that weed is as terrible as alcohol.
>making bait this bad.

anon-kun...why are you doing this to me?

>>6149312
>implying that understanding the dispositions that people grow into causes you to become an 'enabler."
>???

empathy is not encouragement you fucking idiot. haven't you heard of the commonly referenced "daddy issues?" sexual abuse as a child results in sexual misidentification as well as attraction to abuse as adults. i'm not saying domestic abuse is okay, i'm explaining to you where it comes from. do you consider yourself a disabler by not understanding the psychological aspects of mistakes? by virtue of shunning away scientific facts, you are all of a sudden, a rehab worker? thank you, mysterious internet crusader! your morals cured me from smoking weed 2x a week on my days off from my job. thank you dr. drew. thank you.

>>6150852
I'm not the anon you are arguing with, but you are losing this fight hard buddy. I'd stop posting now.

>>6149645
>>6150624
>>6149655
>>6149665

jesus you guys are so easy

>>6147274
Moar stories man, /ck/ or not. This is great

Not 100% /ck/ but I just remembered I had these and fuck me if it's not a ride

>>6151239

>>6151243

>>6151245

>>6151249
that was an adventure

>>6151239
>>6151243
>>6151245
>>6151249

I remember reading this years ago and thinking it was an absolute riot.
Reading it now, all I can think is "he should have called the cops the moment he discovered someone he lived with was selling crack out of their home"

>>6151239
>>6151243
>>6151245
>>6151249
remember these fondly

>>6148313
Holy fuck you're autistic

>>6148769
Your roommate sounds like me.

>Occasionally drink/party
>Usually either do it alone, on skype with long distance friends or invite a couple of quiet friends over
>Numerous times I've left the mess you just described
>"Anon, I thought you went to sleep. Did you have someone over? Was there a party?"

I'm probably the bad roommate actually. I at least vacuum daily, do my own laundry, keep my dog clean and in check, do my own dishes at least 3-4 times a week and try to clean up my messes. If I drink, I take care of all of it in the morning or when I get home if I work the next day.

But still. I acknowledge that most the messes are probably mine and I know that my roommates clean up after me when it's something that bothers them but not me.

>Tfw you come home
>Tfw you didn't realize your bathroom was dirty until you find it sparkling clean
>Apparently they spent all day cleaning it because it bothered them
>My toilet was apparently white
>Who knew

>>6148908

I'm >>6151359 and personally, I'd say you're more of a jackass. Unless he's running off with bottles of "expensive" alcohol (still full bottles of $20+ dollar booze) regularly, it's fair that he takes something for dealing with the mess.

When my roommates clean up after my gross ass mess (occasional, if I leave for work and they don't), I don't give a shit if they take my leftovers. It's fair that they had to deal with it.

>>6150801

One day, that will start a fire. Find out where the motor is on your fridge, it's the thing making the whirring noise. Now feel it. Slightly warm or room temp right? Next time she leaves the fridge open for hours, remember to feel the motor. It will burn your fucking hand.

Most fridges have an internal thermometer, they read the temperature inside and compare it to the temperature you have set it to maintain. If the temperature inside is higher, the motor works to pump cold air inside, if it is lower, the motor switches off.

The motors were designed to be used for 20, maybe 30 minutes at a time, because the temperature doesn't really rise that fast inside a fridge with it being insulated and everything, even on hot days. The older and cheaper the fridge, the more likely you are to come home to a burnt down house.

Of course, there are safety mechanisms that should shut the whole thing down if it did get too hot, but manufacturers have tolerable failure rates, sometimes individual mistakes can be made and in some cases, entire lines can have catastrophic design defects. Just google "fridge fire."

The bottom line is, however small the risk, nobody ever expected a fucking fridge motor to run for 10 hours. It might be safe once or twice because obviously it's possible to leave the fridge open by accident, but not on a regular basis, i.e. more than once a decade.

Find a way to lock the fucker with 6 padlocks. She only eats frozen dinners and ranch dressing anyway.

>>6148854
You try Stevia?

>>6148655
>That's hot. It's like free porn.

Free porn is cool.

Less so at 2-4 am.

>>6151337
When you have foot-rot you should wear something in a communal shower.

>>6149913
A scottish delight, the local paki slop-shop crams a deep pan pizza box full of everything deep-fried in the house and slops a bucket of dressing on tip.

Perfect for when you and your friends are getting drunk and blazed after a tough day in third grade.

>>6151555
>Perfect for when you and your friends are getting drunk and blazed after a tough day in third grade.
Based on all the Scots I've met this isn't actually untrue.

>>6151582
It's unbelievable how bad shit is there, obesity, alcoholism, mental illness, drug use, under-age pregnancies, dyslexia.

I like Scotland but the next generation of scots are absolutely fucked.

>>6147102

sides are in orbit

>>6150603
>I'd much rather spend twice as much
people who live with roommates generally can't afford that luxury.

>>6147171
>spends all day on Facebook
How?
What is the point of Facebook anyway? I think it must be a girl thing.

>Be me
>Typically normal guy,but have some quirks...I enjoy being alone more than hanging out, spend most time in my room watching my cartoons, drinking, and playing vidya.
>Not interested in relationships or dating at all, content with porn and have a lot of fetishes I prefer that I'm sure most girls wouldn't be into anyway
>Roomie, is a grill
>Friendly, me and her get along fine but she's becoming annoyingly pushy and overbearing
>Is "worried about me" and finds my lifestyle unacceptable
>Constantly tries to get me to hang with her friends, which I sometimes do to not seem rude, but lots of time do not and go about my business in my room
>She don't like this...treats it as if it was a personal insult, will guilt trip me about it through little comments and give me sad looks like I'm supposed to apologize or some shit
>Always asking me why I don't have a gf, implies I "need to get one"
>Constantly talks to me about her cute friend that hangs around trying to generate interest
>IDGAF, not interested in dating
>Brings this girl over more and more with some others
>Be me chilling in my room, enjoying my nights
>Constantly hear "ANON U WONT BELIEVE WHAT _____ JUST DID! ZOMGROFLCOPTOR" "ANON QUICK COME HEERE LOOK AT THIS"
>Always have to get up and be like HAHA YEAH THAT'S GREAT.....OH YEEAH, FAKE LAUGH before I'm allowed to go back about my business

As far as the kitchen goes, we have no issues....we both cook for ourselves, respect each others food and both don't mind sharing anyway, both clean up our own dishes quickly. The only problem is that she loves to cook vegetarian dishes and seems hell bent on trying to get me into it, I'll usually try some out of respect and some of it is good I'll admit but I love my meats far too much.

>>6151696
people who are obsessed with the lives of others read posts, guys creep on girls pics. attention whores whore for likes on their posts.

>>6151755
you'd be surprised just how open a lot of qts are to fetishes bro

>>6151585
idk, man. They're a rough lot, prone to fights and drunkenness, but I've enjoyed every minute I've spent in Glasgow and Edinburgh. Particularly Glasgow. The people are totally sweet during the day, the place is not expensive and you can actually find some good food there. (Mother India is actually a pretty good restaurant). Also it's fun to get drunk with the lads on Sauchiehall St while watching the scantily clad girls freezing their asses off trying to get their attention, but the guys care more about their drinks. It's hilarious, and as long as you're gone by the time the fights start breaking out you're not going to get knifed.

Sure, the place is not a shining light of civilization, but I'd go back in a heartbeat.

>>6147070
Ikea colander bros reporting in.

>>6151755

>"Look [roommate], I understand that you're trying to do this with good intentions, but I would really prefer if you stop it. I'm a weird dude, with different preferences and priorities than most people. I'm comfortable with this and my lifestyle, so please, as my friend, try and accept me for who I am."

>>6151755

Are you retarded, dude?

>She wants the d

Seriously shes telling you to get into to her. Might as well have a sign over her head "The Y is open"

>share semi-detatched house with a guy I barely knew before
>guy cleans kitchen constantly
>kitchen always smells like chemicals and shit he uses several times a day
>can't leave dirty dishes for an hour before he starts nagging about it
>whines about me not cleaning enough when I'm in a hurry to work in the morning

I like to smear small spots of sauces or food he don't know where it came from just to annoy him

>>6151798
He's gay
Suck his dick, faggot

>live with 7 other people
>all have our own shelf in the fridge and drawer in the freezer
>one night cook chilli for everybody
>everyone enjoys it
>portion up the leftovers into tupperware containers and put in my freezer drawer to eat during the week
>go out for the night
>come back, flatmates have been drinking
>somebody took one of my containers of chilli out of my freezer drawer
>evidently attempted to microwave it but forgot about it and passed out
>tupperware box of cold, congealed chilli just sitting in the microwave

It pissed me off because not only did they take my food, they didn't even fucking eat it. This is only one incident of many.

>>6151774
Purdy much

>>6151779
Nah man she wants me to date her friend not her, I'm just not into relationships and shit and thats what she's aiming at, like it'd be different if she was just trying to get me laid and threw some tramp my way for a one nighter but she's fully trying to integrate me into her group and views of what's normal, I believe.

She also thinks I'm a weirdo cause I'm grown and love "childish" cartoons and comic books but she typically overlooks it cause I'm fairly "normal" in most other ways.

>>6151826
Tell him to keep it and that he owes you one when you're hungry and don't have food available

I don't see why it makes you so upset

>>6151832
mate, just learn how to make a girl cum like a tractor shuddering on a cold winter morning, like seriously painting the walls with clam juice and having a full body spastic episode

then you might get to fuck more than one of them
higher chance of success if you are tall, attractive or have excess cash etc.

>>6151840
Because I'm broke, I spent my money on feeding everyone and then they go and steal my shit without asking and waste it. Also they can't cook so it's not like I'll get anything in return.

>>6151832
>Purdy much

No, I'm saying that you should say those words to her.

Holy shit guys I though I was alone in this. So there are other people in the world who struggle to live with dumb as fuck motherfuckers? I'm so relieved and happy that I'm not the only one. I just want to hug you all.

Is there some club related this, like anonymous alcoholics?

Also sharing my bit:
>living with my gf and another couple
>an easy-going girl who turned into the size of a war elephant in the last year
>her mongoloid boyfriend is dumb as fuck beta mouthbreather
>just hearing him talk makes you wish for a nuclear winter
>he always forgets his keys, forgets the lights/TV on, forgets to lock the flat
>he is SO FUCKING DUMB you can feel his dumb presence in the air when he enters the flat
>they are both loud as fuck
>they kiss behind our door so loudly and they slurp so much, it sounds like someone was hitting a giant frog cadaver over and over again with a fucking brick
>they talk very loudly
>when they fuck you can almost hear the house crying because it's scared
>they call each other shit like "smoochipoo", "sweetheart" and other pretentious disgusting shit
>they are always eating disgusting greasy food
>they have never cleaned the collective rooms
>they always leave A FUCKING MESS IN THE KITCHEN
>they use 70% of the dishes and leave them there for 5 days or until we clean it
>they never did anything for the household
>talked to them about everything a few times, which worked for a week and then the shit started over again

>tfw my gf is furious all the time and I'm the one soaking it up
>tfw can't kick them out
>tfw they are not bad or evil, just dumb as fuck
>ftw I sometimes feel bad for hating on them because they are "just" dumb

pls hug me

>get accepted to grad school out in california
>lmao comifornia etc etc etc
>I'll get paid quite a bit as well as offered paid internships over the years
>pretty sweet deal, all I need is to find a place to stay
>could get on campus housing but LOL fuck that, way over priced
>searching through craigslist, the newspaper and other sites for roomies
>finally find a nice place in a nice neighborhood, not upscale or anything but something around high middle class, so I'm happy
>person only wants 400 bucks a month
>lol what, either they're desperate or retarded
>fuck yes, this is a steal, give them a call
>it's a gril
>o-okay, she doesn't seem to mind that a guy is interested, I feel kinda awkward, not that I'm a beta autist around grils but I feel kind of like a creep for being interested in a place where it'll be me and just her
>meh, who cares, I keep to myself anyway
>invites me over that night to check the place out
>coolbeans.jpg
>head over, despite the complex building itself not looking too big, this place is fucking huge and takes up half the floor
>greets me with a smile and shows me around, my room is the size of my parent's master bedroom
>personal restroom with separate bath and shower
>kitchen with full stainless steel appliances and a wide array of cookery
>the fucking fridge has a touch screen pad for controlling the temp of different fucking levels of the thing for christs sake
>fuck yes, I can cook like a king here, there actually is a god
>this is too good to be true, 400bucks a month, what the fuck is wrong with this woman
>tell her I'm extremely satisfied and I'd like to move in asap
>tells me to bring my shit and move in at my earliest convenience, tomorrow afternoon would be perfect
>shake hands, head back to my hotel that I'm staying at
>next day head on over with a small little moving truck obviously didnt bring any furniture, but have lots of clothes, sentimental cookery, and my fuckhuge telescope, more than a taxi could handle
>arrive

>>6151915
>tfw can't kick them out
Why the fuck not?
Are they family?
If they're not, then yes you fucking can, you either just don't know it yet OR you're a fucking pussy.

>>6151918
HOLY FUCK
FINISH IT

>>6151918
If you're starting off this nicely surely it must turn into a real horror show.

>>6151918
>tip the driver, he offers to help me with my stuff
>call up my new "land lord", tell her im here with stuff and I'll be bringing it up
>offers to come help but I tell her me and the driver have it
>first thing I do is grab my telescope and head up there, my room has a window with a few of the horizon, and luckily there isnt too much light pollution here
>a little background, I'm here for my masters and phd in astrophysics, so I like to do a little bit of research on the side, nothing too serious, just star gazing and picture taking, with some notes really
>get up to 4th floor, knock, she opens
>she has guests over
>just a bunch of other grils
>forgot to mention, this chick is a solid 8/9 out of 10, no fucking joke, made the tour a bit awkward since I'm a shy guy
>all these other girls are 8s and 9s too, holy fucking spaghetti pls dont spill now
>greets me with a big smile and a weird look at the telescope, introduces me to her friends, tells them im the tennant etc etc, introduce myself, typical greeting bullshit
>shy so I just hurry off to my room with the telescope
>face really fucking red, holy shit, are they going to be over often?
>hear hushed whispering as I walk away, typical gril gossip bullshit, probably talking about me and this giant telescope I came in with
>hurry out and go to get rest of stuff, run into driver on the way up, really cool mexican dude with a sick mustache, had a nice convo on the way over with him about his life back in mexico and his experience working as a cop down there, he left because of corruption

>fast forward, all stuff moved in, tipped driver and sent him on his way, all settled in and comfy
>night time now
>grils still over
>feeling hungry
>head out of room and to living area where they're all watching tv and on their phones
>yo im gonna make dinner, want some?
>oh we were going to order pizza, you cook?
>yeah, its a hobby of mine
>alright, we'll eat whatever you make
>cool
>head into kitchen to start prepping

Bring him on judge judy and get payment for all your damaged pans

>>6151945
>he didn't prewrite his long ass story

>>6151945
1)What do you work as?

2) Did you make them your dick?

>bought a non stick pot
>same day come home
>roommate is scrubbing it with steel wool

did your mom drop you on your head

>>6151975
Yeah but the doctor says it's temporary

>>6151945
>bought some fresh produce earlier in anticipation of making dinner anyway, only polite to do as a new tennant
>gonna make up some simple garlic shrimp and pasta with a creamy white sauce
>served with a small side salad tossed with olive oil and red wine vinegar
>chopping them onions and garlic, cleaning them shrimp, boiling that water, shredding them veg
>grils decide to come watch me cook
>here we go, probably gonna literally spill the spaghetti
>wow, you're chopping that really fast, are you a chef or something?
>n-no
>are those raw shrimp? whoa, they still have eys and stuff, creepy
>y-yeah
>getting a little annoyed, they're pretty and all, but I don't like being bothered when I'm cooking
>is that garlic?
>no bitch its fennel (obviously didn't say that, but holy shit, they seem ditzy, all but the landlord at least, whos just being quiet)
>a few of them seem disgusted when I start cleaning and butterflying the shrimp, especially when a peel off the shell
>omg that poor shrimp!
>bitch this thing is deader than your brain (again didnt say that)
>everything finally done, shrimp marinating in some lemon and garlic paste
>salad in the bowl waiting to be tossed with the dressings
>about to drop pasta
>excuse myself to go use the restroom
>taking a piss, hear a scream
>quickly dribble up and rush out to see whats wrong
>one of the bitches had grabbed my knife and somehow managed to slice her palm
>blood all over my cutting area and cooking space
>are you fucking serious right now
>not a deep cut but it will need stitches, when I ask she tells me she just wanted to see it and brushed it through her hands quick and this happened
>annoyed as hell, don't show it, ask land lord goes to grab first aid kit and patches up her friend
>literally sews up the wound
>holy fuck
>tells me shes a nurse and smiles
>alright thats cool, guess if I ever take off a finger tip I dont need to go to the hospital or anything
>whatever, time to cook

>>6151983
>qt gril is interested in what I'm doing
>GAWD UR SUCH A FUCKING DITZ OMG PLS GO DIE INNA FIRE
might as well stop
and we all know your telescope is for peeping, not stargazing

>>6151956
Sorry, didn't really think I'd be doing this.
>>6151957
I'm a graduate student, but I work as a TA for my professor and do research on large galactic formations and interactions, quasars etc

>drop pasta in boiling salted water, lay in shrimp
>kitchen filled with delicious smells
>the grils are really perplexed, begin to wonder if they've ever actually seen cooking before since they all seem like spoiled daddy's girls
>fast forward, food done, plate up, serve
>wow anon, this is really good!
>what's this sauce?
>I love these shrimp
>etc etc, I always take compliments awkwardly so I just smile and thank them
>finish meals, small talk, hour goes by and time for them to leave
>excuse myself and head back to my room after they thank me for the meal and say goodbye
>jesus fucking christ those dumb fucking bimbos HOLYYYYYYY shit, etc etc, thinking to myself
>just gonna look through my telescope now
>knock on door
>landlord
>she comes in
>hey, what's up? I ask
>thanks for the food, sorry about the accident, my friends are kind of dumb sometimes
>no problem, glad you liked it
>looking at my telescope
>whats this thing for?
>tells her about my astrophysics stuff, research, etc etc
>oh cool, so you're like neil degrasse tyson lol
>pls no
>"well I don't own a planetarium but yeah we like the same stuff"
>he at least she knows about tyson r-right?
>well I won't bother you, you seem pretty busy, have a nice night and thanks again!

Honestly this doesn't really get too bad, just more ditzy friend shenanigans, and it kind of gets bit explicit, will continue if people want. Sorry for not pre writing, again didnt' expect to be telling /ck/ this.

>>6151992
lel, I have binocs for that :^)

>>6151983

inb4
>omg who even cooks anymore what a weirdo!!!
>yeah and did you see that telescope he brought??
>anon pls go, me and my friends think you're a serial killer or something

or
>fucked qt landlord, married, had 7 children

>>6152012
how about you get to the fucking point
this is some sappy ass fan fiction

>>6152012
please type for the next 30 minutes

>>6152021
That was just to give some background, this isnt a horror story or anything, just an opening to a bunch of little mini distastes her friends manage to cause, usually when I'm cooking.

Also how me and my landlord end up dating.

>>6152022
I will if more want me to.

>>6152029
>I will if more want me to.

Might as well. You've gone this far.

>>6152029

Wait, how the fuck did you rescue a bloody station? I would have tossed anything in a 5 foot radius, especially the salad.

>>6152030
Alright.

Here's one of the mini disasters, these happen in no particular order with no specific time line.

>cuddling with landlord gf on couch watching netflix from her laptop she has hooked up to her giant TV
>her friends are over and I'm making dinner again
>theyre in the kitchen giggling and watching the food cook
>got some soup simmering away, should be ready soon
>I guess they're looking at those stupid screenshot meme things on twitter or something, like pic related
>some of them sound like they're dying form laughter, all of them on phones
>whatever, too preoccupied watching Dexter while touching qt butt
>all of a sudden scream
>what the fuck is it this time
>one of them got so hyped from a stupid meme screenshot her arm flailed
>right into the pot of soup
>knocked the entire thing on the gas burners and counter, spilling onto the floor
>thankfully no burns
>end up ordering take out

They're all pretty much like this, and I suppose I could share how me and her started dating. It's a bit weird and you'll probably think I made it up but eh.

>>6152043
It was on the board and counter, didn't get into any of the food since tall pasta pot with slots for servings like in a restaurant, and the salad/shrimp were on the other side of the stove, I like to move done things out of a station, blood just got on scraps of food and the board, which I threw out

>>6152048
you have ten minutes remaining

>>6152080
Welp.

>>6152048
>It's a bit weird and you'll probably think I made it up but eh.

>6150717


At the time of this incident, French, rye, cinnamon swirl, hamburger/hot dog buns, and a bunch of dinner rolls. Also my experiment of the day was garam masala rolls. Those little guys were so good.

Too many people are fucking retard scumbags.

>>6152136
ya like u lol

>>6152048
You still haven't explained why the rent was so cheap.

>>6152148
Yeah, I asked her that near the end of the first week I was there. As I said, at first I thought she was just dump or something but as I got to know her, it became obvious she was actually pretty bright.

Turns out, she comes from a very wealthy family, and that entire place was a graduation gift from her father. After high school. So she was basically free to do whatever she wanted with the place.

She made it super cheap because she wanted to help someone out.

Looking back on it, she never thought it would lead to a boyfriend.

This was 2 years ago.

this story is so fake

>>6151239
>>6151243
>>6151245
>>6151249

Saved. I don't want to believe it is real, but it's the funniest thing I've read in a great while. That's... I lost my shit at the first mention of the foul lasagna and I'll never get it back.

>>6151326

Because it's fun and he was living there for, after all is said and done, 50 a month. Essentially free housing. Look at the stories he can now tell. And that SWAT team adventure at the end, tell me that doesn't sound like horrible fun?

>>6151498

This is terrifying. My housemate sometimes leaves the fridge door open. He is active late at night, by which I mean he often goes to sleep as the sun rises. I wake up around 7 or 8 and go downstairs. Depending on when he passes out, the door could be open for 4-6 hours. It happens about once or twice a month. The fridge is probably the oldest, cheapest thing the manager could find. Same for the washer and dryer.