/ck/ - Food & Cooking

build a smokehouse

>>6140506
Spill some soup on the bottom of your oven (works better if you have an oven that heats from the top and bottom), turn the oven to max heat until the soup burns and starts smoking like crazy, turn down heat to a normal temp and put your meat inside the oven.

>>6140506
remove your lowest ribs

Try a smoker grill there cheap great for pork sausage.

Roll your dong in a blunt

>>6140506
blow smoke up your ass

Wif a brongg lel

i've found buying a rolling machine and some king size papers isn't too bad, maybe try vaping it's better for your lungs

Whats the best way to choke your own meat?

>>6140506
Depends on what you're smoking. The best smoked meats I ever had were from a place (that's unfortunately not around anymore) that had an actual smokehouse in the back plus pits for pit smoking. They did sausage, brisket, pork, and chicken. Best ever. Too bad the family sold it when the patriarch died. That was years and years ago, and I've been searching for the same ever since.
tl;dr smokehouse

Now, I personally use an electric smoker, because I live in an apartment complex and we're not allowed to have barrel smokers. BUT, back when I lived in a house (in another state), I had a barrel smoker, and I highly recommend those. Look up New Braunfels smokers. I can get very good pulled pork and brisket off my electric smoker, but it's taken me a lot of tweaking and practice to get that bitch to smoke things right. I will say, the electric smoker is fantastic for fish and chicken or turkey, though, or small cuts like thick pork chops, since those require less effort and time.

As close as you can afford to come to this:

>>6140607
>>6140619
Is 'meat' the newest slang for weed or something? This is not clever.

>>6141019
Oh my dick

>>6141019
Can you, or someone else explain why stuff like Short Rib and baby back ribs in general only get tender when cooked for long periods of time as opposed to a regular filet or ribeye that gets tough and gamy if spent too long cooking?

>>6141215
collagen

>>6141215
Ribs have lots of connective tissue and fat that breaks down

>>6141019
That's cooking, not smoking. There is a difference.

>>6141215
Colagen, as it cooks at lower temps for extended periods it breaks down and turns the cut into meat jelly.

>>6140506
best? buy a smoker from cabela's or dick's or some other hunting supply store

cheapest? a cardboard box with a small electric heating element, little frying pan with some wood chips and a cheap thermometer makes excellent dry smoked meats. don't use cardboard for barbecue smoking though, use a grill.

cut a few holes in top and bottom of the cardboard box (make resizeable vents with cut out cardboard and masking tape)

you're usually looking to keep the temp inside around 150-160 F for several hours until the meat is cooked. after the wood chips get used up, you can smoke twice for more flavor or just remove the pan and keep the heating element on until your meat is dried enough. i use this to make jerky all the time, costs less than 30 bucks

>>6141019
The Salt Lick is overrated. There's much better bbq places in Central Texas.

>>6141251
Name them please.

>>6140514
Don't fuck up your oven, if u have a good bit of yard you can make your own smokey by digging a hole with a compost bin with a metal underside set in the hole fully submerged. make the smoke with lit spruce branches lay a grill over the top of the compost bin and hang your meat or fish, cover with grass or straw, smoke that shit.

This is not a viable option if you live n a suburban area so I'm told.

I've nevwr done this personally but lots of people do, I think the Scots use peat rather than spruce

>>6141262
I doubt anyone could do that in any residential area at all m8

And smoke rises so why would you need a metal bottom on the bin?

>>6141251

You gotta admit that their smoker is cool, though. I wish I had one in my house.

>>6140695
>>6140506 (OP)
Depends on what you're choking. The best choked meats I ever had were from a place (that's unfortunately not around anymore) that had an actual handjobhouse in the back plus pits for dick choking. They did men, women, familys, and children. Best ever. Too bad the family sold it when the patriarch died. That was years and years ago, and I've been searching for the same ever since.
tl;dr chokehouse

Now, I personally use an electric fleshlight, because I live in an apartment complex and we're not allowed to fleshlights. BUT, back when I lived in a house (in another state), I had a ona hole, and I highly recommend those. Look up ona holes. I can get very good pulled cock and cum off my electric choker, but it's taken me a lot of tweaking and practice to get that bitch to choke things right. I will say, the electric choker fantastic is fantastic for fish and chicken or turkey, though, or small dicks like mine, since those require less effort and time

>>6143113

can you choke a chicken at home?

>>6141259
no the original OP.... but
Franklin (duh) LA BBQ, micklethwait craft meats, j.mueller meat co, Freedmen's, Brown's BBQ, Valentina's Tex Mex BBQ (sounds weird but they are fuckin legit) , Stiles Switch, Black's, Smitty's, Kruez, Mueller, Coopers. All these places take a dump on salt lick in quality. Salt Lick is for All you can eat and BYOB.

>>6143171

We have some really pathetic barbecue, too. One of the worst I've seen in recent memory is Rudy's.

I have absolutely no clue why my brother's wife loves the place. The only thing I can think of is that she probably has never had good barbecue.

Has anyone here ever smoked bloke?
I've seen loads of videos where it ends up being amazing but when I tried it was mediocre at best.
Do you think it's the smoking technique that counts?

really????

>>6143474
>Has anyone here ever smoked bloke?

What is bloke?

>>6143491
fresh piece of meat, quite dark and firm texture.

>>6140506

>>6140506
>Whats the best way to smoke your own meat?
*wink* *wink*, *nudge*

>>6143592
remove bottom 2 ribs?
>kek

>>6140506
Well, personally I buy a couple pack of cigarettes, hang the meat above my sitting chair in my den, watch tv, and light up. I smoke the two packs of cigarettes to smoke my meats.

Does anyone have any good recipes for dry rubs?

>>6146156

for what foods specifically?

A good general-purpose one would be equal parts brown sugar, coarse salt, and paprika. Add some black pepper to taste; Cayenne if you want it add heat.

>>6146236
I mostly deal with beef or pork briskets. I mostly just wanted to see if /ck/ had any secrets for smoked meats.

>>6146242

The rub I just posted would be great on pork.

For brisket I would leave out (or greatly cut back) the sugar. Add some garlic and/or onion powder.