/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>6127391

>>6127393

>>6127396

>>6127400
>>6127396
>>6127393
>>6127391
..wut?

>>6127400
i want some of that milk.

Random funny shit from Rene Redzepi of Noma

Obligatory Apple Cabin Foods.

>>6128448
>mfw it is completely normal to eat horsemeat where i am from.
it was a staple of my childhood because we were poor as fuck.

requesting nuggers

>>6128480
Horse meat is low fat, high protein and can be tender as fuck.
>what's not to like?

>>6128491
I pray to baby jesus he meets his end with one or all of those embedded in his head

>>6128493
Hey that's rude, my mom is scared of Troll dolls and even she doesn't want to kill Guy Fieri.

>>6128462

Way over my head

>>6128509
They look like dicks. It's not that funny.

>>6128529
"Amerifats" indeed.

>>6128487

>>6128549
Every time

>>6128548
FOR YOU

>>6128428
>catflaps
God damnit, I'm laughing like a retard

>>6128549

>>6128428
Are they Orange Hopefuls or Dirt Rockets?

>>6128491
My mom got these for christmas. I seriously laughed out loud. Then I saw that her gift to me was one of his books.

>>6128580
wow... that just kinda says it all. One person chugging 2L coke, one frantically opening a new bottle of ranch. Probably going to use that entire bottle. Skinny person in the back corner probably eating something else.

>>6128499

>>6128602

>>6128504
>Vegan Cheese
>It melts!

Carnivore privilege is not having to worry about your mozzarella not melting

>>6128587
That looks more like performing fellatio than chugging.

>>6128608
That's a good question, though.

>>6128289
>>6128448
>>6128454
fucking redzepi

>>6128626
Well, those people really don't deserve tips, but neither does the church or the preacher or your god. You should just keep your money.
>but i wanna go out to eat
okay, but don't tip your waitress. that's a job they give 16 year old girls because it requires no training or skill whatsoever. if you want to tip, tip the cook.

>>6128491
>dragon dagger
>is just the four hundredth copy of that fucking "showtime" knife ronco made
>ron probably stole the design from somewhere else too

jeez

>>6128559
>somebody is terrified about embarking of a life-changing, potentially fatal journey
>asks for comfort food before they're eating slop and shitting bricks for several months
>LOL LOL MCNUGGIES AND COSMIC BROWNIES WHAT A BIG FAT MANBABY
That baby is more man then you'll EVER be.

>>6128638
No, he's not. He's a jackass manchild with the pallet of an autistic eight year old.
>he's dumb enough to go die for literally no reason whatsoever because he has no education so he's a man
That's not manliness.

>>6128636
If anyone is going to get my money, then it's going to be in the form of scholarships and my church.

>tipping godless liberals
lolno

>>6128466
lmfao wat

>>6128642
hahahaha
he probably mad because he can't use his phone for the rest of the month.

"I survive on my tips. My restaurant doesn't pay me a livable wage, so when you eat and don't leave a little extra for gratuity, you are depriving me of my right to live, shitlord."

>>6128659

>>6128659
I stopped tipping baristas years ago. They're not paid below 10 dollars an hour. Fuck em.

>>6128654
I don't understand.

>>6128668
the phone lines at his restaurant are probably jammed like crazy. So people calling for reservations or calling to cancel them probably can't get through because 80% of the calls are stupid fucking shit that you could just google the menu for.

>>6128474

I'm in tears thank you

>>6128691
i can't believe a magazine is promoting this stupidity. oh wait, yes i can.

>>6128524
I seriously hope this is fake

>>6128697
He pulled a fast one, the absolute mad man!

>>6128697

>>6128697
That magazine does that on the regular. It exists to promote zaniness like that. That is one of the most tame examples.

>>6128626

The tip is 18% of the cost of the meal whereas a tithe is 10% of YOUR ENTIRE FUCKING SALARY YOU FUCKING RETARD

>why do I pay 16% interest on my credit card when GOD only get TEN PERCENT

>WHY i EAT 75 percent of this PIE whe GOD only TEN PERCENT

>WALMART rolling back prices 2 5 % why GOD only TEN PER%

>>6128454
as a Spaniard I laughed way too hard at this

>>6128716
See what I mean?

>>6128726
is this like a brit thing?

Running out of the food-related ones

>>6128719
Soaking up these tears to masturbate with later.

>>6128659
Not in California, you aren't.
If you don't like the minimum wage, lobby for an increase, bitch-tits.

Oh, and don't start crying when it becomes cheaper to have my food delivered by a toy train on tracks and you lose your job.

>>6128735
ewww what the fuck are they putting in the water there?

>>6128744
It's bongland, so Muslim Semen.

>>6128649
Thanks, now your church can pay godless liberals like me a LOT of money to intall your new sound and video system so you can pray to thin air better

>>6128638

signing up to the military does not make you a man

its just a job like any other

>>6128750
imagine getting this girl back to your apartment
>She takes off her bra and you hear a wet splat
>There's a wet spot on the floor
>her tits smell like rice

>>6128548
Imagine pulling these out of the fridge on valentines day..

>nah no chocolate, no flowers, but I got you these heart shaped chicken nuggers for $1.69.

>>6128760
>implying I can't install it for them
You STEM faggots think you're the only ones who can grok technology. Keep crying about paying off loans instead of just learning the material on our own.

SUCKA

>>6128765
Guys guys guy, I think we just found the female equivelant of spaghetti falling out of your pockets. Rice sock falling out of your bra.

>>6128770
would marry

>>6128760
>mfw every fucking sunday the church study group or whatever would come into our cafe.
>Push all the fucking tables together
>bring a projector and screen and preach to themselves about godlessness and the evils of normal society
>the owners go to the same church as them
>eventually kicked them out because they were scaring away patrons and getting too extreme with their message
lesson: money > god even christans know this shit.

>>6128781
Yes, I'm implying you could install $250,000+ systems yourself. You retards literally put millions every year into the A/V industry. Joel Olsteen lives a couple blocks from me in his $2,000,000 house and drives a $150,000 car. I'm glad you give tithe, but you and everyone else should should know that it doesn't "go to god".

>pic related, my last install

>>6128806
>implying because I'm a christfag that i support this kind of megachurch

>>6128546
Too bad he's a brit.

>>6128809
they all are same business model different clientele.

>>6128811
read the post again closely.

>>6128499
..I hate Guy Fieri, and even I can't believe that's real. At least, I want to believe that this shit isn't real, and he really isn't that much of a fat douche.

>>6128731
As far as I can tell, yes. Chiefly British and weird. British humor is weird that way, though.

>>6128499
Her logic is messed up.

First of all, you're not tipping a server 15-20% of your entire INCOME. Secondly, Jesus specifically said to be generous, and that "One can not serve two masters, either he will love one and hate the other or despise the one and love the other. You can not serve both God and money." That's paraphrased, because I took it from memory, not from looking it up. She's just so wrong and grossly misrepresents Christians.

>>6128499
Also, just to tack on, he's ALREADY giving "Caesar" more than God, because he probably pays 30%+ in taxes.

>>6128529
I thought he was eating 250 lbs of chips a day for a second £o£

>>6128659
>government passed laws allowing employers to pay waitstaff less than minimum wage because muh tips
>so let's get mad at the general public and not the lawmakers
boy it sure is easy to blame whoever's closest and turn a blind eye to the people actually fucking you over

>>6128884
That ain't my fault. It would appear to me that waitresses are one of the many groups the government fucks in the ass on a regular basis. If you show me a piece of paper that says the government shouldn't do that, I'll sign it, put it to a vote, I'll vote for it, but what I won't do is play ball. And this non-college bullshit you're givin' me, I got two words for that: learn to fuckin' type, 'cause if you're expecting me to help out with the rent you're in for a big fuckin' surprise.

>>6128785
Yeah babe my love for you isnt as strong as my hate for commercialism.

Because this is a "food humor" thread and not a Christian tipping thread.

>>6128920

>>6128920
What's the humor, that just looks like good food.

>>6128928

>>6128928
why is it on the floor in a barn?

>>6128939

>>6128948

>>6128954

>>6128954
are those scallops or pickled onions? I can't see well.

>>6128960

>>6128954
Hahaha, my god. Somebody was memeing hard here

>>6128971
Lol fucking watermark

>>6128971

>>6128976

>>6128967
Picked onions, peppermints, and bowtie pasta, iirc.

>>6128980
Holy shit what was this event about..

>>6128988
>>6128988

Thanksgiving

>>6128647
>pallet

>>6128992
They're homeless?

>>6128988

>>6128719
underrated post

>>6128814
Only in the United States of Creationism.

>>6128814
>implying
ever hear of Presbyterian churches?

>>6129228
yes but I've never seen one.

>>6128631
Fucking hell.

>>6128663
Mr. Pink was always right about everything. You can tell because Tortellini wrote the part for himself.

>>6128988
NAMBLA members Thanksgiving lunch with 'Gourmet Homeless' theme.

>>6128851
A RELIGIOUS PERSON misquoted SOMETHING THEY DIDN'T READ just for their own PERSONAL BENEFIT?
Color me shocked. But for real, old religious couples tip pretty great.

>>6128980

Every time I see this picture I lose my shit

>>6128548

saved to troll my
>gf
on valentine's day

>>6128980
Blah, guys dress so boringly.

>>6128529
Why IS there are fucking trolley, though?

>>6128624
she's even looking up, nice

>>6128980

that building reminds me of cub scout meetings

>>6128548
i fucking need these if my bf gave me these I'd suck his dick for them nuggers. I need em.

>>6127391
I didn't realize that it was possible to have someone be so waifuable in one panel

>>6128642
Immediately thought he was pic related

>>6128980
Why are they descending in order of height?

>>6128468
HAHAHA I GET IT

>>6127391
> Zebedee 2:56

That's not a thing. There is no book of "Zebedee" in the bible. Or in the Book of Mormon.

>>6130444
Could it be that the entire comic is satirical and not really Christian propaganda?
The comic where a guy gets high on milk and snorts a wheel of cheese?

>>6128428
Finally, someone combined this spam into one post.

>>6128468
>Wer'e game if your'e game

>>6128719
God gave me a life and a universe to live in
The waitress just moves plates around

>>6129583
Probably for the people who aren't there to lose weight, like employees and family

>>6128980
What a wide variety of attendants

>>6130451
fuck off, liartownusa is a national treasure

>>6128719

>WALMART rolling back prices 2 5 % why GOD only TEN PER%

>>6128817
>NHS
>pounds
>Amerifat

U r an idiot.

>>6128559
His mom probably enjoyed making it more than he did eating it. That was a nice thing to do.

Balls/10

>>6128554
Somewhere in the southern US, a redneck bride and groom are planning this for their wedding reception. I just know it.

>>6128980
Why are they standing so close as to essentially have their dick up each others ass?

The guy in front is actually a young Todd Packer. "Hotlanta... That town is whaaaacked!"

>>6128980
Why is there hay on the floor behind them? What kind of corporate event in a cubicle farm involves actual farm animals?

This image begs many questions.

>>6128920
>they used a watermarked image for their cake

Lel

>>6128988
Autistic Thanksgiving

>>6129012
>Santa stole my Quesidilla

>>6128920
Was reading thread backwards, and now I'm intrigued as I see it come together. Could just be a bunch of assholes , but the the demographic group here doesn't make much sense unless this is a large bunch of uncles and nephews, or some arcane club of hobbyists, perhaps "society of gay men who use antique baitcasting reels for pond fishing and have a snide sense of food wasting humor".

Probably the former, asked the camera holder and chef are some punkass aspie ashamed of his family/genetics.

>>6128468
Central Markets ahoy.

>>6129545
>guys

>>6127391
>>6127393
>>6127396
>>6127400

There's a lot going on here.
A man mowing a lawn being annoyed by noise.
The broken baseball bat for no reason.
The James Dean homage.
"Creamy high."
"No Rugrats."

Would read again.

>>6130461
Yeah, nah.
I've worked in hospitals and the staff either brought a bag lunch or ate the same stuff as the patients.
Visitors brought their own or bought something in the kiosk by the entrance.

If I'm visiting someone who's there specifically to lose weight I'm not going to munch on a bag of crisps at the same time, though.
They could at least have the trolley avoid the fat people ward or something.

Not saying he's not a cunt but they shouldn't be surprised.

I like you. More, plz.

>>6128716
Is...toothpaste even edible? Isn't there warnings about not swallowing it?

>>6128529
fucking subhuman

>>6131012
Yeah, friends ultra religious mother freaked out when we were having a sleepover, she was helping us out in the bathroom to get ready for bed, and one of the other kids put a whole line on his tooth brush. She read the entire instructions to us, stressing "pea sized" and not to swallow.

>>6131012
Just be sure you get fluoride free toothpaste

>>6131173
If she was smart she would have bought fluoride free toothpaste.

>>6128655
i dont get it.

>>6131196
I just told you she was religious.

>>6130687
the quotation marks means he's being sarcastic. Dunno how you didn't pick up on that

>>6128491
>those curved handles

Are you want to die?

>>6128980
when I first saw that I assumed it was going to be some weird orgy or something

>>6129520
>that "potential" poster
Fucking dead

>>6128576
underated post

>>6127391
>that day you partied so hard a kid's baseball bat across the street snapped in half

>>6128462
>women's humor

>>6131201
lol BAZINGA!!!!!!!!!!

>>6128719
top fucking kek

>>6128482
that's what happens when you talk to a bunch of pretentious cunts who think they're food connoisseurs because they don't eat fast food and like shitty craft beer

does this count even though it might be fake?

>>6128638
>life-changing, potentially fatal journey

If he was going to a tour in middle-east, maybe. Basic training is no more "potentially fatal" than any other physically intensive job - unless you're a fucking retard, of course.

>>6128577
I would commit sudoku with the dragon knife

>>6131945
I would commit ken-ken with that knife

>>6128789
Just ask Tebartz-van Elst

>>6131012
Well, it's not exactly healthy, but I doubt it's actually poisonous unless you eat a whole tube. You're meant to put that shit into your mouth twice a day, it's not possible to not swallow any.

>>6131968
>free range
What a hipster faggot

>>6131923
might be fake? this was made here on /ck/

All of these are in 1 cafe.

>>6131923
Send a search team for my sides.

>>6131980
moreof this or link to the thread?

>>6132038
Lmfao I see £
Where in UK is this?
Might have to go in there, light a fag while shitting on the table on the phone to my mate while throwing nuts everywhere

>>6132069
I'm guessing Grindleford.

>>6128530
Girls are highly perverted.

>>6128482
>KFC
>Breaded

The Colonel's had enough of your shit.

>>6128851
>Render therefore unto Caesar the things which are Caesar's; and unto God the things that are God's

A phrase the majority of right-wing Christian nutjobs choose to ignore, strangely.

>>6128570
>not putting chechen

>>6131597
Don't be sexist now.

>>6129640
sauce

>>6131968

>pants on

lame as fuck

>>6128980
I remember this. It's apparently for plebbit's /r/shittyfoodporn or something.

>>6132038
That cafe is run by literal autists. Have to turn of mobile phones? Seriously?

>>6128659
When I first started work as a bus boy, I got paid nothing and only got a share of the tips with the waiters.

>>6128971
>gettyimages

>>6133646
>dat filename

>>6128482
They started selling these in Australia. I fucking love them.

>>6128499
Because tipping isn't fucking charity?

>>6128504
Daiya is better

>>6128524
>he and his brother Josh keep losing them
How do you just misplace a bunch of teaspoons and never find them again?

>>6128482
ones actually made with quality the other is made with shitty plastic cheese and fake bacon.

>>6128554
thats awsome.

>>6133693
crack cocaine

>>6127393

>>6133692
I only like it for pizza and quesadillas. Yet to find a vegan cheese I like for anything else.

>>6133650
>>6133651
W-what do you think is the safest thing on this menu?

>>6132038
Are those good prices in the UK? It seems any cafe I been to with the balls for these signs are overpriced as fuck to boot.
Also rhey must be the only cafe in the area to survive

>>6131923
I've been laughing till I cry at every single fucking item, thank you

>>6132510

>>6133748
You know, they really should start making laxatives in chip form.

>>6133764
Classic Caesar

>>6133764
Hey, is that where the word brutal came from?

>>6133764
More like "Et tu, cultellus?"

>>6128524
Actually real, what the fuck.
http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-lancashire-26574789

>>6133650
I hate to think what's in the panty slaw.

>>6133930
probably a heroin epidemic in the area.

>>6133748

>>6131887
Why is /ck/ filled with a bunch of mouth breathers like this faggot?

>>6133999

>>6128636
>not tipping
>I'd rather give my money to the owner to pay all employees equally rather than rewarding the few who are actually trying to do their job decently

Always nice to see people trying remove incentives to work

>>6128636

I tip because I know these people have to put up with insufferable cunts like you all day. And I'm in Australia where it's not considered a done thing.

Literally the worst of jobs if you're not an extroverted people person.

>>6128719
>he tips
>he has a credit card
>he goes to walmart

>>6128920
>>6128928
Oh my fucking god
these are from the same place where is the one of the guy with his hand on the others shoulder what IS this

>>6131968
Do some races cost more?

>>6128719
>paying interest on credit cards
Dude get an interest free credit card.
Fuck is wrong with you?

>>6128980

manlets being BTFO

>>6128843

Utter rubbish, don't you think if we'd been eating toothpaste as an after dinner snack we'd all have better teeth?

>>6133773

From Brutus, I think it was anon.

>>6128480
>>6128490
The problem with the horse meat scandal wasn't that it was a horse it was the fact that sub standard meat was sold and checked by 3 separate government agencies and not one even noticed what species it was let alone checked it for contamination

>>6134140

If you don't pay off the entire bill then they pay you interest no matter what card you have. It's like taking out a small loan.

>>6134780

A lot of cards have a 1-2 year interest free introductory period, I have friends who are into all kinds of stupid credit card tricks to churn points and get all the signup bonuses and free miles and all that crap.

It's too much trouble for me but I think if you really wanted to you could probably burn through those intro periods for a couple of years and not pay interest. Whether or not that's actually a good idea is another issue...

>>6133650
>sweet concluders

>>6134015
That's sad. You probably are just trying to get their number because like I said, they're all underage girls because the job takes no skills, no training, no thought and no effort. There's a reason that it's given to teenage girls and divorced women. You don't see grown ass men serving coffee and asking if you want it allah mode.

>>6131608
bad

>>6128549
This is one of my favorite things of all time.

>>6128627
Then who was camera?

>>6128939

>>6134718

The horse meat scandal was a joke in all honesty.

Their explanation of why it wasn't noticed was because they wern't checking for every type of meat. Considering they only check one or two samples out fo each batch you'd think they'd run a battery of tests.

That said it the meat had undergone any type of processing they likely wouldn't have been able to tell it apart from other dark meat.

>>6133773
have you noticed that just now? wow

>>6128524
It's because heroin addicts use them, not because they can be used as weapons or whatever you're imagining.

>>6133693

at my house as a kid it was usually a result of taking them in the backyard to dig holes with for whatever nonsense reason

>>6137477
Only a little bitch digs a hole with a teaspoon

>>6137423
>they only check one or two samples out fo each batch

Hahahaha, it'd be a fucking event if they even did more than a handful of checks each YEAR, let alone per. batch.

>>6133693
heroin. you use it to dissolve the drugs in water so you can inject it.

>>6133726
you don't know what the fuck you're talking about. yall cowards dont even smoke crack

>>6133659
Don't you mean they finally brought them back?

I remember first buying them in 2011, then when they brought them back they changed them a little and they are total shit

>>6128928
this poor animal gave up it's short life span to be wasted like this

>>6137536
>it is short life span
Anyway, no. It was bred to be eaten. It wasn't some wild ass turkey.

>>6134048
i think it's a bunch of chefs who cook the weirdest shit they can think of for thanksgiving

>>6137540
>bred to be eaten
hence short life span

>>6137473
So what if heroin addicts use them?

>>6137589
The gas station obviously doesn't want underage heroin addicts hanging out around it!

It's a private business. They have no right to be there. Would you want heroin addicts coming to your house and using your spoons to shoot up?

>>6137693
>Tesco
>"gas station"

>the potential for underage heroin addicts shooting up in Tesco after buying a pack of spoons there is the reason they won't sell them to kids

Am I just being trolled?

>>6134322
Brute=Brutus in the vocative form, fool

>>6128980
>>6128971
>>6128960
>>6128954
>>6128948
>>6128928
these all seem to be from the same set. The fuck is this?

>>6137693
Yeah, heroin addicts have tonnes of money to burn so they just buy a new spoon for every hit.
Fucking idiot.

>>6137865
I like my heroin well done with ketchup. How about you anon?

>>6128580
This depresses me even more than photos of dead kids in war zones

>>6137869
As long as there are no beans in it.

>>6128770

best gift ever

>>6133651
>devils meatcup
I am afraid

>>6128851
>her
>Jacob
>her

>>6128636
Confirmed for being a NEET faggot with no real skills in life. You do know that, at least in the states, you have to be 19 to be a server, right? Just tip. It's part of the meal.

>>6128638
>>6128638
I've been to basic training. Think less slop, more school cafeteria. Its honestly not bad. What he's eating is kind of what they serve at chow anyway, sans brownie.

>>6128647
Joining the military doesn't mean you're going to see combat, ever.

>>6128474
ohh christ, i cant remember the last time when i genuinely laughed this hard. except maybe when my sister-in-law showed me and my mother her deformed teddy bear that she made.

>>6127400
great stuff

>>6128765
i imagine you'd use uncooked rice

>>6128549
every fucking time i read this i laugh till i cry and can't breathe

it's one of my all time favorite things on 4chan

>>6128988
it's just a photoshoot
malechef.tumblr.com

>>6131200
Chinese spices, even in or, rather especially in mainland China is like 50% MSG

>>6128608
this is when religion and religious people start irritating me.

>>6128491
I want these so bad
The handles look like fucking garbage but whipping one out for homecooking would just make it that much more entertaining every time
Bringing a grill to a dinner would be priceless as fuck just to see their faces

>>6137404
I am camera

>>6131931
Fucking civvies every god damn time.

People die in basic training, but it's mostly from unreported heart or brain issues that the recruiters told them to lie about, or suicides. People will sneak live ammo from back on the range and then kill themselves. Also people will/do jump off the roofs of barracks

Don't talk about shit you know nothing about, cunt

>>6140171

fuck

>>6140997
Cap badge mate?

>>6138164
>You do know that, at least in the states, you have to be 19 to be a server, right?

No you don't. At least not in any state I've been to. Minors can't serve alcohol but they can have someone else bring it out.

>>6140997

>"fucking civvies"

Get the fuck out of my military service you self-entitled little shit. God damn it I wish I knew who your CO was, you fucking cunt.

>>6128980

>sandor clegane, first guinea pig
>sigmund frued
>hungry skeletor
>retired henry rollins
>only guy that looks excited to eat any of that stuff
>jewish steve jobs
>/g/
>wilford brimley
>old ass man
>is sad because he's cleanup crew and has to finish whatever is leftover

>>6128428

I always lose it at Mostly Apples

>>6141236
2bad you won't, and you never will you little bitch. Hahahaha

>>6128559
imagine a buffet of that, damn man.

>>6133764
lol

>>6128504
S'alright iirc. At least that kind.

>>6128482

>mfw americans think chicken cordon bleu is both fancy and french

>>6128735
>not using bags of sand

>>6133995
Crunchy frog!?