/ck/ - Food & Cooking

What'd you eat?

>>6103466
Cottage pie. I think I may have ingested some raw meat, as I saw chunks of meat that were slightly pink in color.

>tfw never want to eat anything again

I ate Shrimp Ceviche one time and my stomach felt fucking awful and threw it up before it ended up doing any damage to me. Last time I ate at that shitty Mexinigger place.

>get food poisoning
>ass faucet for 36 hours
>laying in bed
>think I'm feeling better
>test out a fart
>nope, shit my pants

granted it was mostly water I still had to make that waddle to the bathroom

>>6103459
Long road trip it was late at night like 10ish looking for food find a shoney's. Food was ok.
A few hours later i am puking on the side of the highway and sick for the rest of the trip.

Whenever i see the sign or hear the name my stomach rumbles ever thinking of this made me feel a little ill.

>>6103459
The worst kind of food poisoning is the kind that created so much gas, that it bruises your intestines for pain that lasts for days in every abdominal muscle. The kind of pain where you sit on the pot, and just cry outloud as you have diarrhea.

I am pretty careful about what I eat (and where), so it's been a while. Usually, I detect an offtaste and don't listen to experience, and carry on, and that's when I kick myself when it doesn't work out. At home, my leftovers have a 2 day rule, and only if it's something I will reheat to a safe temperature. I waste a lot of food just playing it safe.

>>6103512
Never trust a fart when diarrhea's on the line.
Plato

>>6103539
I just ate week old king crab

Got it at Uni years back. No idea what caused it, but the last thing I ate and ergo what I projectile vomited to start if off at 2am was Honey BBQ Fritos. The next day was a blur of vomit, bile, and like OP, puking so hard I shit myself. Missed an exam I had to make up during finals to top it off.

Not really food poisoning, but very related.

>live with parents on the countryside
>saturday evening fuk ye gonna make some delicious food
>open the pan compartment under the oven
>take a pan out and place on the table
>as I am cutting open a bag of fries I notice something weird on the pan
>look closer
>tiny green pellets
>"The fuck is this shit?"
>ponder for a moment
>suddenly realize what it is
>my father placed "boxes" with small holes in and inside is a large green block of strong rat poison they have to chew to get through the other side

So mice has been eating the poison and then shit it out on the pan.. I only noticed because it was green..

We use the once or twice a week for fries or similar, don't really need to wash it more than once a month.

Who knows how much rat shit we've been eating.. OH GOD THIS IS FUCKING HORRIBLE

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

>>6103459

Take your funny meme man picture back to /fit/

when i was 16 i contracted roto virus from taco bell. roto virus is spread via fecal matter. i ate shit tacos, approximately 6 of them. i vomited and shit myself silly for a week. i lost 20 lbs pretty quickly. parents finally took me to the hospital, i had 3 different nurses attempting to put an IV somewhere in me... all me veins had blows.
doc said if they'd waited 6 more hours to take me to the hospital i would've been dead.
happy new year.

>>6103788
You in MN? My friend had the same thing happen to her.

>>6103472
Always overcook meat and that'll never happen.

>>6103539
>The worst kind of food poisoning is the kind that created so much gas, that it bruises your intestines for pain that lasts for days in every abdominal muscle. The kind of pain where you sit on the pot, and just cry outloud as you have diarrhea.
I was in that state after eating take-out curry leftovers for every meal for two days. Serious GI distress. Seems the gas builds up faster than you can fart it out while shitting lava.

Oysters at a Hooters in Illinois. Not sure what I was thinking.

Never had vomit/diarrhea food poisoning. Have had sociopathic gas that would wake me up at night, hurt my belly, and smelled absolutely horrible, clung to every surface level of odor. I think when shit goes down like that, go to your hippie store and get refrigerated, liquid macrobiotics, or call a friend and have them bring it to you. That helped me a lot. It helps actually in a lot of situations of gut distress, from too much alcohol to just about anything.

>get food poisoning once from eating a buffalo chicken pizza
>friend gives me a cup of sugar-free Jell-O because it will apparently help me feel better
>NOPE
>go home
>bend down over the toilet to puke
>start spraying out of both ends of my body
>eventually collapse on the floor
>curl up in a ball while dry-heaving and farting

I think that was the worst thing that's ever happened to me.

>be on vacation in turkeye for 2 weeks
>get food poisoning on the 4th day
>spent around 5 days puking and shitting myself in my hotel room
>spent another 3 days at a shitty turkish hospital
>spent the last 2 days recovering in my hotel room
best vacations ever

I had a contract at a travel agents that let me look through all their 'incident reports'. When the travel agents say "do not drink the water" they fucking mean it.

Dominican Republic has the most people get food poisoning out of anywhere else in the world.

The type of food poisoning you get? Giardiasis. How do you get Giardiasis? By ingesting human shit.

Don't have anything to drink that isn't bottled and don't have ice in anything.

Also, fuck parents who take babies into swimming pools without using proper sealed swimwear for them (babies shitting in the pool is the second most common way of this spreading).

>people get sick
>instantly blame food

Stop

>buy a big bag of dried apricots
>have a couple
>they're really good
>eat half the bag
>that night
>seismic waves felt two countries over

Not poisoning per se, but holy shit. Not recommended.

>>6105132
>going to kebabland

Damn nigga yous dumb.

>>6103539
Man, I think you're just dumping out your opportunity to make your immunity stronger.

>>6104034
Sounds traumatizong

went 2 golden corral think mabe got from salad bar,I HAD THE RUNS LIKE 4 DAYS GOT REALLY WEAK THOUGHT WAS GOING 2 DIE.

>>6103459
I got it from Wendy's a long time ago. Just a lot of throwing up. I was like, 11 and passed out in the bathroom after vomiting all night. Woke up covered in a big cozy blanket, a pillow under my head and a big glass of water next to me. Thanks dad.

>>6105546
Did you really or are you just making this up?
What is going to be your next disease?
Are the symptoms going to be a little bleeding, followed by cramping, then a migraine and mood swings?

>>6105159
>I had a contract at a travel agents that let me look through all their 'incident reports'. When the travel agents say "do not drink the water" they fucking mean it.

underratted poast

also, giardia isn't just human shit, you can easily get it in the woods when camping from streams and lakes.

>ask me how i know
>8 years old
>oh boy camping yay
>two weeks of pills and diarrhea

I got revenge on my campin' parents by getting fat as fuck so there

WAS TERRIBLE IM TELLING U HAVING DIARRHEA THAT LONG CAN NEARLLY KILL U

>>6103459
>be at friends house
>feeds me something with fake meat in it
>it's alright I guess
>go home, take a nap
>wake up an hour later with an immediate need to vomit
>puked 7 times until my body was completely sore
>have to puke in a bucket while sitting on the toilet
>fever and awful headache
>stabbing stomach pain
>feel like I'm dying

So I find out later that if you have a mold allergy when you eat this shit it can make you sick as fuck. Stay away from quorn or whatever the fuck if you have a mold allergy because it's literally blobs of mold. Not fungus, fuckin mold that grows on food.

>>6105587
I FEEL YOUR PAIN MY BROTHER

Couple years ago in highschool, it was finals week and I woke up just feeling awful. I threw up once and felt good afterwards so I went to school.

All through ny first final I was sweating, farting, trying not to puke, the entire time I was working. I finished the final and instsntly ran to the nurses where I began voming and diarrhaing in the bathroom for an hour til my parents got me.

Longest 10min car ride of my life, trying not to shit everywhere and throw up was terrible.

The next 6 hrs was diarrhea, blood shit, crying in so much intestinal/stomach pain, throwing up/dry heaving and at one point throwing up blood because I ripped open my throat from dry heaving.

After it was all done I pass out on the floor, then when I woke up the next morning I was perfectly fine. I had no idea what was wrong with me.

>>6105587
. . . mold is a fungus

>>6105610
Finals week stress?

I had it from undercooked mussels, first time I ate them so I had no idea how they looked.
Spent 5 hours in the showers fountaining from both sides. You can still smell the ocean in that shower.

Taco Bell poisoned me once. I puked for 1.5 days straight. Water down, water up, the entire time. I really didn't want to dry heave.

I ate a slice of raw chicken once and didn't even get diarreha

Raw chicken is amazing

Cafeteria in college

Scrambled eggs

Something wasn't right about them but I was hungry

30 minutes later, pissed out of my ass to say the least, stomach felt like shit the rest of the day

>>6105644
Ok but I meant not a mushroom edible normal kind that you're supposed to eat.

I got food poisoning from a yoghurt that stood for a few days too many opened in the fridge.
I was somewhat of a hypochondriac at the time, I thought I had appendicitis (I can count the instances of stomach ache in my adult life on one hand).

When I was 7 I got the only serious food poisoning of my life. Not sure what I ate, my parents blame a tomato but who the fuck knows. Basically vomited and shit out water for a few hours. We lived close to a hospital so we walked there (about 5-7 minute walk) and I just barely made it to the washroom in the hospital to shit some more. Anyways, spent 3 days with IV in my arm. They put me in a room with all sorts of sick people like ones with Jaundice, wtf man. The only other time I had an issue was when I got hives after eating at Subway. Went away after I got allergy pills from my doctor. Hives are an allergic reaction and I've eaten at Subway plenty of times since then so I'm not sure what it was.

>>6105159
I think I have an iron gut now cause I traveled through Mexico, including the southern jungle areas and didn't get sick once. I didn't drink the tap water but I used it to brush teeth. Felt great throughout.

when I was a kid I used to have it all the time. Once, when it was almost over and I could watch some tv instead of being in the bathroom all day I had to fart and messed up the couch. Never had to vomit though

>>6103459
>be 14 and a professional athlete
>at a North American cup, staying in hotel in Atlanta Georgia with teammates and coach
>friend and I decide to be cool and eat dinner by ourselves by ordering room service
>we split a burger cooked medium, but she barely touches it and goes for the fries while I eat my half
>night time comes
>start puking everything until my throats sore, to the point that there's nothing in my stomach and I'm just dry heaving
> friend chills by me the whole night while I cry like a little bitch due to the pain till like 3 AM
> get ready for the tournament by 6 AM
> still puking, occasionally falling due to a fever/lack of food in my stomach
>tfw coach yells at me anyway for sucking as I'm puking in a trash can
>tfw passed out the second I was eliminated
>tfw can eat basically anything rare/raw except hamburger meat, which needs to be well done or I'll get nauseous

>>6103800
i was in GA at the time, anon

>>6106030
Just say you have a mycoprotein allergy faggot.

>>6107235
>tfw can eat basically anything rare/raw except if it's contaminated or badly cooked

ftfy

Not really food poisoning but

>went to McDonald's for the first time in ages with a mate
>wasnt hungry so I got a frozen coke
>it was weird and hard to eat/drink but whatever
>at home that night
>belly looks like im pregnant, can hear my gut making thunder
>oh god the pain
>writhing on the floor in agony for 3 hours, yelling into a cushion
>going to the toilet just trying to fart/shit it out
>trying all these gay ass poses for trapped gas
>after the hours pass, go to the toilet
>spread my cheeks a little bit, start ignition
>gas comes out with the force of the eagle thrust II
>I rocket off the toilet bowl, it shatters beneath my typhooning anus
>straight through the roof, the sparks from frayed wires and my LPQ expulsions blow up my house, my trail alights but I am travelling too fast for the flames to reach me
>in complete awe of this, my mouth is open, essentially making me the worlds first biological ramjet
>theres no stopping me now, I roar across the open ocean, boiling the world alive and still gaining speed
>I have reached deep space, no longer requiring oxygen to live, but sustaining myself from flatulence fusion
>I steer myself through the cosmos, looking for new worlds to burn, for I am become death, destroyer of worlds

>>6103459
>get a new dish from this Indonesian place I always go to
>super hungry so I scarf it down
>later that night have horrible gut pains
>get home, take off my belt and fart like mad

Wasn't food poisoning, I just inhaled my food so fast I swallowed a bunch of air, he.

>>6107321
it's mold you fuck, I'm allergic to mold as in any type as in penicillin and the kind that grows in your basement.

>be 8
>be inna eastern europe
>eat some cheap ass tuna i ussualy wouldnt
>intense stomach pain,throwing up,fever
>go to emergency,they tell us to fuck off
>throw up for 3 more hours
>fall asleep
>wake up and im fine
5/5 thank you based tuna

>>6103555
I pray for you

>In Japan
>Walk 10 miles
>Eat curry
>Start walking 10 miles back to hotel
>In agony almost the entire time
>Towards the end clutching my stomach with tears streaming down my face
>Japanese people passing by think i'm crazy
>Finally make it to the hotel
>Vomit for 1 hour straight + diarrhea

>>6103459
>vomiting so hard that I shit my pants with liquid diarrhea at the same time
>not sitting on the toilet, ass in pants down, while face is over the trash can
Tsk tsk.

>>6107351
what's the name of the dish?

>>6107336
Underrated post

>>6103459
Oddly enough i just had the same thing, i'm still sick as a dog.

>eating meat
>it's rare like always
>next day can't drink without vomitting
>few days later go to hospital
>it's just my appendix going through puberty
>doctors remove it, can go home next day (thanks endoscopy)
I ate some tartare the following day

I'm in the middle of an agonizing one right now

It's a combination of four chipotle meals in a row and some pent-up heavy NYE party drinking

I feel like I'm creating a solar system

I've gotten food poisoning plenty of times, but I only distinctly remember a few

>8 years old
>on long distance drive with parents
>stop at Mexican restaurant
>parents order some cinnamon dessert we all share
>a few hours later we're all puking up cinnamon tasting vomit on the side of the road in the sweltering heat
>refuse to anything that tastes of cinnamon until I'm a teenager

>high school
>finals week
>go get lunch with friend at a Chinese restaurant he likes
>taking math final next day
>incredible pressure builds up inside my asshole and stomach
>can't leave room until I'm finished with final
>can't go to school bathrooms because I can't miss the bus
>finally get home
>projectile diarrhea and vomit at the same time
>bathroom smells like literal death

>2 weeks ago
>roadside Mexican food
>cover it in hot sauce
>wake in middle of the night with pain in lower intestines
>shoot fire water out my ass every 15 minutes
>spend all night on toilet with fiery asshole

Moral of the story, stay clear of questionable ethnic food restaurants

>>6105570
Getting fat as a kid kinda ruins ur own life tho

>>6107336
I remember this day.

>>6103459
I remember that happening to me why I was about 5 or 6.
Its quite an interesting feel having your underpants filled with hot liquid shit. Never want to feel that again though.

Also I remember feeling really betrayed by my mum - she said that she purposely made me sick like that because she wanted me to catch the chicken pox from my sisters. I didn't understand back then but I felt real messed up over that for a while.

>get fried catfish at lubys
>take the remainder home
>whoops did I leave that in the car
>it's probably fine
>3 hours later
>the sickest I've ever been in my life
>endless vomit and diarrhea
>the smell of my diarrhea made me vomit more
>can't pull my pants back up because there is vomit in my underwear
>collapse on the ground, dehydrated, my pants at my ankles, vomit on my crotch, diarrhea seeping out my ass

I still love lubys, though. I think I could have been at the lubys shooting and I'd still love lubys.

>spend new years night alone
>stuff my belly with smoked salmon and mayonnaise
>drink a little and keep eating and go to bed around 4am
>wake up at 6 and throw up immediately three times on the floor
>spend the next day puking every 10min alone and unloved

best new year bois

>>6107878
She wanted you to catch chicken pox, so she gave you food poisoning.

You could have just shared drinks or something.

>>6107336
>essentially making me the worlds first biological ramjet

Ya got me.

Got food poisoning Dec 30th.
An hour after I ate, equilibrium was fucked. Couldn't walk straight.
Puked. Got ride home.
Got in the door. Puked BEFORE I made it to the bathroom. Still finding vomit flecks everywhere.
3 days later, still weak.
Fitting end to 2014.

>>6106102
Good for you for not getting killed, robbed or kidnapped by narcos and/or banditos

>>6107336
Glorious

>>6107750
>>6107717
not food poisoning

>eat dodgy popcorn when i saw interstellar
>next morning i shit my pants
>run downstairs and throw up while shitting liquid diarrhea
>spend whole day on the toilet
>get up to have a shower
>pass out on the bathroom floor

Worst experience of my life.

I thought bacterial based food poisoning occurs 8-24 hours after consumption of contaminated foodstuff

>eat something for dinner at relatives
>feel a little gassy towards the end of the night
>go to bathroom to squeeze out dat turd
>squirt out liquid like a hose
>panic and look down between legs expecting an ocean of red
>crystal clear water as if nothing had been shit out

W-what was that.

>>6108088

Correct.

But that doesn't stop people from blaming the most recent thing they ate.

>>6108088
"After eating tainted food, abdominal cramps, diarrhea, and vomiting, can start as early as one hour in the case of staph and as late as 10 days in the case of campylobacter."

>go to mcdonald's
>get a fillet o fish
>always get them
>eat it, feel fine for a couple hours
>break out in hives or something
>a bunch of marble sized bumps all ever my skin
>feel like shit
>fuck son
>drink a gallon of milk
>hate milk but i hate these bumps more
>hour later i shit it all out and feel better
Still eat the fillet o fish to this day.

>2013/12/30
>Start feeling weak out of nowhere
>30 mins pass, gut cramps seize me. I run to the toilet and start pissing watery, orange-hued burning diarrhea into the bowl
>Spend all night and the next day in a feverish, hallucinatory daze punctuated by dashes to the toilet
>By the evening, there's hardly any shit coming out, just my guts straining to expel themselves out of my asshole
>Family is preparing to go to family reunion/new year gig for which I'd been forced to cancel all my plans.
>I say I can't go. Mother has the audacity to suggest I'm faking it to get out of going.. It takes all my willpower not to tell her to fuck right off right there
>Chances are I spent the turn of the new year in agony trying to shit out my own rectum - an apt metaphor for what the rest of 2014 is like for me
>It clears up the next day, but my gut really isn't the same for almost two months after that.

Not really sure if this was food poisoning. I'd shared my bed with a mate staying over a couple of days before who'd had the same symptoms. He took a 6-hour bus ride home the next day - I can't even begin to imagine what that was like.

only time i ever had food poisioning was when i was 8
it was easter and i ate the colored eggs even tho my dad said not to
anyway next day at school i just start puking my guts out in the middle of finger painting or whatever and my dad had to take off work to come get me
he didnt know it was the eggs that did it to me so he wasnt mad and he dropped me off at my grandmas where i slept for like 20 hours

>At friends house
>He lives in same appartment complex
>Playing vidya
>Both hungry, order cheap pizza and boneless wings
>Tiny wings are tiny
>Eating them whole while playing
>Friend tries one
>"Oh shit Anon, these are way under cooked."
>Hes holding a half raw peice of chicken
>Moment of panic
>Think maybe it was just that one
>Two hours later im shitting uncontrollably.
>Feel urge to vomit
>Fuck putting my face into a bowl of liquid shit
>Fall forward and puke into buddys bathtub
>Puking and shitting subsides.
>Lay on floor for awhile
>Flush, turn on bathtub
>Bro buddy helps me home
>No more puking, but shits last a day
>Laugh about it now.

>>6108132
Your friend sounds pretty top tier man.

>spring of a few years ago back home
>decide to make rice crispy treats
>at last minute decide to add a shitload of semi-sweet chocolate chips
>said chocolate chips are from god knows when
>they were in the freezer so I thought they'd be fine
>anyway after the treats have solidified share some with my family
>parents don't eat them, but my sisters do
>they taste really dreadful (too much chocolate?)
>go to bed with a stomachache
>next few days me and my sisters spend the whole day lying on the ground near the bathroom wrapped in blankets, munching on crackers occasionally
>learn a valuable lesson about cleanliness while cooking

Still not sure if it was my hands or the chocolate.

>>6106026
> I crossed the road without looking once and didn't get run over, therefore everyone should do that

> be me, on business trip to San Francisco
> find Thai place for dinner one night, dirty interior but very tasty food
> go back there a week later
> use the bathroom, notice they keep food and a recycling bin in the bathroom
> eat meal and go to hotel
> 6 hours of fever, diarrhea and vomiting
> cannot eat for 24 hours

>>6107235
>burger cooked medium
you deserved it tbh

>>6107324
>can cook anything raw unless it's badly cooked
>badly cooking something raw
Found your problem

>>6108132

That's a true friend, man.

>>6108253
did you eat their chocolate?

I used improper food handling techniques with some shrimp and shat my stomach out of my butthole.

I ate old sauerkraut and shat my asshole out.

I'm not sure if this was from something I ate or what, happened like 2 weeks ago. Maybe someone can help me out.

>sitting at parent's watching a christmas movie
>start feeling real nauseous
>for the next hour or so try to make myself puke and keep taking trips to the bathroom
>really, really feel the need to puke worse than I ever have but can't
>weird stuff starts happening
>feel disoriented, random parts of my body go numb, want to puke less but having stomach pains instead
>don't really know what to do/can't do much at this point
>just decide to drug myself to sleep with allergy medicine
>feel shitty the next day but mostly better after
>stomach isn't right since then and I feel nauseous after meals half the time I eat

If it was food related the most suspicious thing I ingested was some tea my dad brought back from thailand, which I had been drinking for the past week. It did make me feel a but weird, but just the way a cup of coffee (jittery and having to use the toilet after half a cup).

>>6105196
If it's a lot of diarrhea and vomiting, chances are it's from food poisoning/ingesting something nasty.

>>6108620
Did you eat a lot or quickly? Or did you sit down for an awkward meal when you weren't really hungry? Could just be bad indigestion.

Not really as bad as the other posts but here is my food poison story.

>go to DQ for the first time in years
>order one of those oreo blizzard
>decide to sit inside DQ to enjoy it
>start eating my blizzard, notice something was off about it
>after 3 bites i see blue shit in my blizzard
>take it to the counter and show the employee
>he freaks out, offering me a refund and a free blizzard
>I take a free blizzard like a jackass
>go home and vomit/shit my brains out for 2 days

>>6108640
Didn't eat much that day but snacked a lot the day before

>>6108669
>blue stuff
breh what did he leave cleaner in the machine or something?

>>6103459

My boyfriend complained that my banana bread gave him an upset stomach...

>>6108678
Yeah I think so or it could have been sprinkle residue since that DQ probably doesn't clean out their machines at all.

>>6108679
He's likely a faggot. If some girl was making food for me, even if I didn't like it I'd pretend to and go to the bathroom and puke it up.

Without her knowing about it.

Get yourself checked for STDs, he's likely a homosexual and will transmit shit to you.

>>6108678
>>6108682
Doubt it was that. I got fucked pretty hard.

>>6108678
Planet Earth is blue and there's nothing that I can do... -- David Bowie

>>6108685
then what was it pal.

>eat french onion soup at restaurant
>is delicious
>car ride home
>need to shit
>immediately
>squirm and hold it for twenty minutes
>get back to house
>run to toilet

Dunno what the fuck was wrong with that soup but that has never happened to me before.

>>6103601

What the fuck you disgusting nigger, wash your damn pans. Oh my god what the fuck is wrong with you. You wash pans AFTER EVERY TIME YOU COOK. Nasty hoe.

>>6108268

I think asians are the dirtiest people. Japs seem to be cleanly, but every other asian is a hog.

>housemate from Burma
>always leaving leftovers sitting on stove or counter for days, never puts them in fridge
>makes some shit in a huge pot, leaves on stove
>there two days later
>get text, says he's going to be gone for more than a week
>left his food out, left all his dirty dishes in sink, left stove a disgusting mess, as always
>tells me to eat that food he made
>look at it
>decide I don't want to risk getting sick
>throw it away
>wondering if I should lie and say I ate it or say he's a dirty nigger and needs to refrigerate leftovers if he wants anyone else to eat them

I mean, would it kill him to wipe his crusted splatters and droppings off the stove when he's done? Filthy animal. He's also an alcoholic, chain smoker, and pothead, so it doesn't help that he is hardly ever sober a night to clean his shit.

>>6108779
This. Lived with a guy from Thailand and he would do this same shit.

Im not sure if this counts as food poisoning but I made tea out of this potent greek oregano yesterday and I ended up using 3 tablespoons of the flowers leaves and some stems and a few hours later I was playing on my phone then I started to feel really off like my brqin was gonna jump out of my eye sockets and become its own being. I had a panic attack and felt impending doom because something was telling me this is it youre gonna stop functioning and breathing and it took me hours to feel normal again after drinking water and eating something to absprb ot. Idk im a shitdumb dont do what I did

How do I avoid ever getting food poisoning?

>>6109024
Stop eating

>>6109026
Anything viable?

I dont normally eat out and only got food poisioning once or twice. One time when I was 12 after some fast food, I turned blue and was shivering, sweating, shitting and puking for a couple of days.
Then one time in college I made some fajitas with my roommate. The dumb fuck put the leftover chicken back into the fridge without covering it, then put something else over it.
Get extreme food poisioning to the point where I feel like im going to dive for the next couple of weeks before discovering this raw, green and blue pieces of chicken sitting in an open tray under some other stuff in the middle of the fridge dripping its disgusting shit juices on everything else.
I was mad as fuck.

>>6109038

Astronaut, military and baby food.

Denny's....it wasn't food poisoning but I'm evidently allergic to the cheap ass cooking oil they used at the time.

>>6109160

Those are probably the funniest meme's I've seen in a picture.

>>6104034
>>curl up in a ball while dry-heaving and farting
I'm sorry, man. I couldn't stop laughing at that part.

>reading this thread
>start getting irrationally gassy
/ck/, I...

>had sushi
>fever the next day
>body ache and headache
>starts vomiting as well
>liquid diarrhea
>I want my mummy....

>>6109516
I want your mummy too.

>Christmas dinner years ago
>Ate something with prawns and bell peppers
>Spend the next four days puking my guts up along with the rest of my family
>Have never been able to eat prawns or bell peppers again ever since

I feel sick just from thinking of it.

>>6109650
what the fuck

prawns and bell peppers sounds rancid even if cooked to perfection

fuck your shitty family for feeding you that filth

>>6109654
It tasted good, but ever since that incident, I can't take the taste of either without getting that taste of prawn and pepper induced bile in the back of my mouth.

>>6109663
what was the dish, exactly?

>>6109665
http://www.food.com/recipe/shrimp-with-red-and-yellow-peppers-274335

Only Time I Ever Got Food Poisoning Was Eating Street Food In The Dominican Republic

I've had food poisoning once. It lasted three days and I ended up puking several times on the bathroom floor while sitting on the toilet. Fun.

I got food poisoning the day I got home from a 10 day vacation where I didn't shit once. It was horrifying.

>>6103555

You dead nigga?

Only had 2 experiences with food poisoning. Only bad one left me throwing up and shitting myself for an entire night. I was pretty weak for the next 2 days and the doctor told me I pulled a few muscles and shouldn't work.

>>6108684
sceak is a man so his boyfriend is probably gay

>>6108684
you are clearly le man!

>>6103459
Most food poisoning isn't actually food poisoning, it's a virus that makes it into your food when lazy niggers decide not to wash their hands after taking a shit.


Anyway, one time caught one of those viruses from Waffle House. I violently vomited for half of the day and body felt like I had been beaten with hammers. The thought of Waffle House makes me gag to this day.

>>6106026
Some countries have dishes with raw chicken.

sizzler, logan hyperdome aus...
>Be me having date
>order burger and fries
>hubby orders prawns
>had one of his prawns (tasted awful and was rubbery.
>About 40 mins later get meal chips soggy and nasty.
>take a bite out of the burger tastes funny sorta musky.
>take another bite body refuses to eat it pass it back into a napkin.
>stomach churns run to bathroom start vomiting and shivering.
>lady gets me some water drink it more vomit.
>hubby kind of annoyed asks if im okay.
>he couldn't eat his meal and hes asian (theyll eat anything otherwiseits wastefull)
>manager comes out getting pissy as i'm shaking and gettng colder. gives us 50 perdent off card. We dont want it give it back. She shoves it in my hand storms of.
>Before coming back with a foodpoisoning report.
>we leave temp fluctuating between icy cold and hot.
>go home more vomiting and anal devestation.
>call me and claim i never had food poisoning. Told them I had toast for breakfat and toast last night for dinner.
>they have an awkward silence before hanging up.
fuck sizzlers....

>>6105610
Bloody stools means your intestinal walls were inflammed.

>>6111746
Eating Sizzler at the Bogan Dome, what did ya expect?

>>6111757
true, It was the only thing I trusted to eat. Damn you cheesy bread and potato skins and your filthy lies!

>>6107957
You deserve it for having unfunny forced meme saved to your hard drive.

>>6111746
Isn't Sizzler a buffet? I went there once, it seems like some weird Queensland version of Pizza Hut

>get food poisoning from place I love once
>this means I can never go there anymore because I will get sick every time
havent been to Wendy's since

>never usually get sick, probably averages to about once every 2 years
>senior year in high school
>chillin, having fun, crackin wise
>meatball sub day at lunch
>this should be good
>get sub take a bite
>is it supposed to taste like that?
>back in class starting to feel it
>oh no, not in school
>get to the bathroom and shit like theres nobody in there
>thank god its over
>sitting in class last period
>oh no not again!
>tough it out until the final bell
>face the reality that theres no fucking way im getting down 3 flights of stairs without spilling my guts out
>take the side stairwell that only nerds use anyway
>make it outside
>puke everything I ate for the past week on the grass and all over my shoes
>at least its over now
>come to school the next day after dry heaving all night at home
>turns out somebody saw me the other day and old everyone
>get called barf/puke shoes for the rest of the year
all in all, 6/10 sub

>>6111924
>2015
>rating food independent of an offensive name gained from illness caused by food

I sincerely admire your objectivity.

>>6107336
actually laughed out of ten

>>6103459
one time i put rat poison is someones food

and he was having a serizure

>eat mcdonalds
>fiery diarrhoea

thanks

>>6111766
I actually know a girl that used to manage that Logan sizzler, she's told me a few stories of what goes on there. She was living down on the gold coast and because of working long hours and the shitty traffic on the M1 she was sleeping on the floor at sizzler 5 nights a week and driving home for the weekend. Pretty fucked. She manages an Outback Jacks now.

plaza azteca. ass vomit for 2 hours.

>be 18
>sunday evening, eat some food with the family
>the usual, barbeque, meatballs, etc
>following day
>brother starts having fever at noon, like 39 degrees fever while shaking
>oh crap
>tomorrow i was planning on seeing a crush I've had for 8 years and was planning to confess my feelings to her
>thankfully i have no problems, looks like i'm gonna make it totally fine to the next day
>10PM
>start shaking
>ohshit.jpg
>instantly tell her I can't make it and have to postpone our meeting

>following week
>explosive diarrhea
>shit is black as coal
>shit stinks so back that it almost makes me puke while i'm on the toilet
>intestines hurt so hard that i can barely sleep
>feels like someone grabbed my guts and started twisting them hard constantly
>god please take me
>told later that for roughly 2 days i was mostly passed out

>a couple of weeks later find out that my crush had a bf
>mfw my body tried to shield me from an awkward situation

>went to eat at picnic with friends and family
>one friend is really good cook and made 60% of the dishes there
>good time eating, socializing, and throwing eggball around
>finish with fruit desert that included watermelon and carrot juice
>sudden fart came out and felt a little uncomfortable but no pain
>start to stress out and the pains gradually get worse
>public bathroom is like 1/4 mile away
>trails were busy and to winding which made it longer to get there
>dashed straight through the bushes in a direct path to bathroom
>start shitting my pants and farting so much
>stress and panic made my piss my pants a little
>head straight to bathroom and pull down pants
>huge plop as the poo glop that was in my pants dropped down outside of the toilet
>don't give a shit and start crapping out whatever else was inside my while gripping my stomach
>farts were so intense that I swore that I could see the gas fumes itself
>experience was over
>clean up by taking off my shitstained underwear
>use that to clean up shit glop on floor
>toilet was powerful enough to flush underwear away
>peek out to see if anyone was there
>thank god my shorts were black and i start washing my shit stained pants with hand soap to get smell off
>head back to picnic like nothing happened
>had window opened whole time on ride back home

>>6111746
I just went to this exact location for the first time ever last week. I didn't know what Sizzler was (am an immigrant) and boy was I incredibly let down. All of the food was inedible garbage. I even checked the menu a billion times to make sure some would be okay for me to eat, yet everything was onion laden bullshit. I just ate tons of cheese toast, a cup of pumpkin soup, and like 3 chocolate mousses. Fuck having an onion allergy :(

>>6112096
No such thing as an onion allergy asshole

>>6112097
Actually you can be allergic to roughly anything, including water

>>6112099
You allergic to pussy you faggot?

>>6112097
tell that to the hives i break out into and my throat closing by ingesting only onions

sure it could be something else, but nothing else effects me like onion does

>>6112100
i know you're trolling, but even pussy juice can be subject of an allergy. Poor fuckers

>>6112102
I'll break into your throat so you can ingest my onions

>Not rinsing any pan that has been in a cupboard for any length of time

>>6103459
Not really a story but my mom tried to make seafood gumbo and I puked 7 times in that night that just counts for the time puke actually came up the rest of the night my body was just trying to puke and I was dry heaving so hard I popped veins in my eyes and fainted the next day when I tried to get up to the bathroom and then my legs felt like I ran a marathon
the night before I just puked when I tried to get up
I remember that night very vividly

>Travelling with gf
>decide to eat at a Pizza Hut in Shepparton,( rural Victorai, Australia)
>She starts the human faucet act about 2200
>i'm up all night with her, gut rumbling and ass honking but i can feel my concern for her making it die down
>strange and amazing what your body can do
>no driver's licence, drive her back to Melbourne to doctor who gives her a shot and advice
>some dirty kid in Shepparton didn't wash their hands
>plane back to Sydney, basically have to carry gf everywhere until collapse at home
mfw she still thinks i am le man of steel

>>6112103
This. Richard Branson is allergic to his own jizz.

>>6112127
Is that why he named his company Virgin?

>>6112127
That sounds fucking terrible.

ITT: Faggots wrapped up in cotton wool.
Jesus back in the day a bit of food poisoning made your immune system better, now it's always someone elses fault.
FFS

Drank an expired bottle of Walgreens water the other day and felt pretty sick all night long. Honestly, I was pretty wasted anyway, but it was a sickness distinct from a hangover.

>>6112124
>Shepparton
What the fuck were you even doing there?

I swear I've gotten food poisoning or something from Chipotle's at least twice.
>have it for dinner
>go to work the next day
>3 hours into the day start getting cramps and gas
>rushing to the bathroom every half hour or so to poop
>spend about 20 minutes in there at one point
>work a production job, so my rates fall since we don't get bathroom breaks
>supervisor gets angry that I leave and go home
Couple that with the fact that my period hit the same day and you have one of the worst days of my life.

Also I don't think this next one was food poisoning, but it's related enough.
>be vegan for a year
>might occasionally eat vegetarian foods, but never eat meat
>holy shit New Year's party (no drinking though)
>friend makes buffalo chicken dip
>begs me to try it
>try a bit before I leave the next morning
>just one Tostito's scoop full
>the next day have horrible cramps, that nasty metallic taste in my mouth, feel like I'm going to throw up while having watery diarrhea for the next 4 hours
It was fucking awful, I felt like I was going to die. Never fucking again, I swear to god.

>>6112639
You had cramps and gas and diarrhea BECAUSE you were starting your period, you dumb broad.
Those are all common symptoms that go along with the start of the menstrual cycle for some women.

>>6112639
>period hit the same day
we don't need to know this shit women, ever
>>>/an/
>>>/cgl/

>>6112702
I'm 22 years old, I've had my period plenty of times before, and I know what's normal for me. Getting that sick definitely isn't. I could go into detail, but I highly doubt you want to hear that.

>>6112723
>implying your body and symptoms don't change as you age.
Just wait till you hit your 30s.

>>6112723
>but I highly doubt you want to hear that.

Oh yes I do.

>>6103459

I feel you, I had the same. I kept switching ends on the toilet until I was vomiting on the toilet and shitting on the bathmat. Ultimately I sat on the toilet and vomited in the shower.

>>6112719
>Being offended by a female body function
>She is in /ck/

You are a massive faggot.

Well this isn't food poisoning but my friend's dad died from eating this shit, there was a botulism outbreak from it back in 2008

>>6103459
>On holiday in UK, spend a couple of days in Liverpool, shitty outskirts of town
>Goes into the only cafe I can find
>sure I'll eat a fucking pie and mushy peas for breakfast
Oh god the pain, the next day I was up in Edinburgh having a coffee, and I shit my pants, bad. Did not fully recover for about 2 weeks

>>6111746
Oh god that place is vile.

>>6114094
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Castleberry%27s_Food_Company

Wow. You're not kidding. I bought a can of this today. No wonder it's so cheap.

still going to eat it

>>6114372
The scary thing is, I was going to join him that day for lunch with my friend, but we were late and he ate before us. Botulism is some scary shit man

>>6107362
>mycoprotein
But it isn't fucking mold you ignorant shit. Are you literally that retarded? Mycoprotein by definition is a fungus.

>be 8 years old or something
>le korean church camp
>eating hamburger in the cafeteria
>pink in the middle but w/e tasted fine
>afterwards notice box of patties just sitting on the floor
>uhh
>wake up next morning
>something feels off
>sit up as still as a statue
>suddenly vomiting copiously all over the sleeping bag my cousing lent me
>squirting hot diarrhea from backside
>brown liquid in a one foot radius around me
>crying while camp people lift me up and rinse me in the drinking fountain

and that is why i'm atheist. jk but i bet it contributed to it somehow. also i think i traumatized a lot of kids that day too.

I've never had food poisoning before. What are some good tips you could give me for the inevitable?

Once I ate tacos IN Mexico and didn't pick off the lettuce like a noob. Threw up that night.

> foods poisoning in Vietnam from seafood
> two days of difficulties
> dehydrated, started hallucinating
> given unclean water
> water poisoning
> get home, see doctor
> water bug unresponsive to four broad spectrum antibiotics
> samples sent to health dept
> turns out they had never seen it before, some bastard child of h-pylori and AIDS

Took me a year to get it out of my system

>>6114900
drink water, then drink more water
Then drink more water

Don't plan on moving anywhere

White rice won't make it worse

>>6103459
>Had food poisoning on the weekend
>worst saturday of my life vomit all night kidneys hurt like fuck
>monday go to math class feeling better
>rip a fat
>nope its shit
>run to my car and drive home

Not poisoning per se, but here are two stories:
>be hungry at 10 pm
>eat 32 oz steak
>go to sleep 45 minutes after finishing
>wake up 7 hours later with the worst cramps ever
>literally can't dial 911 from the pain
>I was almost sure I ruptured my nowel
>can't make it to the bathroom
>shit on bedroom floor
>instant relief
And
>buffalo wild wings blazin' challenge
>finish, get my t-shirt
>4 hours later I'm at a my gf's
>bowels gurgling
>barely make it to toilet
>what I can only describe as acid explodes from my ass
>swear I can hear my diarrhea sizzling as it hits the bowl
>scrub toilet, wipe chemically burned asshole
>feel dehydrated
>smell is indescribable
>leave for home
>get call from gf
>apparently my shit exploded so hard from my ass it bounced off the bowl on spattered all over the bottom of the seat, the only part I forgot to check for fecal matter
>gf yells, because germ freak

>>6107569
>>6109957
No I was fine. Finished off the crab the next day.

>>6114094
god what an awful way to go

The most recent story was getting two discounted Marie Calendars organic cans of soup. Had one and my stomach was hurting all night. Morning comes, I feel worse. Grabbed the trash can next to the bed and puked until I was empty. Never buying discounted cans of anything again.

The other story was eating some newly-made sugar cookies from week-old dough, I kept burping an awful smell for days. My nephew puked because of those cookies.

If you're wondering what we did with the other can of old soup, we gave it to a panhandler, lel.

>>6117666
>god what an awful way to go
>devil trips
spooky..

How long does this shit normally last? It's now almost 48 hours since I had some (presumably) bad prawns and I feel like death is imminent. Dizzy and disorientated with headaches and a bloated belly. Plus a horrible taste of steel vaginas in my mouth.

>>6114900

Fluids are your biggest concern. You will hurt in your gut like you never have before. You will have, at least for the first 24-48 hours the constant need to puke and shit like you've never experienced. You have got to keep hydrated above anything else. Even if you shit right back out or puke it, keep trying to drink at least water or electrolyte infused drinks (powerade, pedialyte, or salt tablets even). Your body will be hemmoraghing water and that's one of the first causes that get people taken to the hospital when they get food poisoning. Afterwards, if you can, try to eat light soft foods that will help your gut recover. Rice, toast, crackers, yogurt or those bio active drinks like those drinkable yogurt drinks to help repopulate the healthy bacteria in your gut. But before all, fluids fluids fluids.

>>6117887
The fact your'e not puking it out is at least somewhat a good sign, it's probably minor case of food poisoning then. Try to drink some water and some over the counter anti diarrheal medication to see if you can at least alleviate at least the pain and discomfort. If it still doesn't pass after another day or two you may need to go see the hospital and see what's what.

>>6118005
Good advice. Thanx.

Gonna go get some Yakult and things haven't improved tomorrow then I'll go see a doc.
My world is spinning.

>>6112021
do they freeze the seafood? please tell me what goes on there ?

>>6114094
None of our business, but how much was the settlement your buddy's family got?

>>6107235
>14 and a professional athlete
freddy adu pls

>>6103543
8/10
I laughed in the middle of class.

>>6109160
I ate some bad beef burgers in mexico (was at a hotel and no one felt like going out)

this shet happened, was not fun