/ck/ - Food & Cooking

On burger day in Jr. High, I'd bring cheese from home and save 25 cents buying a hamburger.

I took home like 3 pizzas worth of pizza slices from cicis once

I used to steal saltine crackers in the cafeteria at work. They put a limit on how many we could have with our soup or chili.

I don't blame you bro, that shit's the bomb

When going to fast food restaurants to sit down and eat, I normally go to the ones where I know the drink fountain is not in direct view of the front counter, and I cary in my own cup to fill it up for free

eat 2 or 3 bags of grapes at the grocery store while shopping, about once a week, for a couple of years

>>6069590

>self checkout
>double bag everything
>put paper bags in the bottom for "extra support" (if anyone asks)
>use paper bags to store potatoes (helps whisk away moisture or so I read)
>use plastic bags to line trash cans

Also

>late 90s
>wendy's double stack is like $1 or $1.25
>two 1/8 lb. patties is 1/4 lb. beef
>math! fuck yeah!
>order it with "everything"
>exact same amount of food as the classic single except smaller bun
>$1 fries
>The Wal-mart down the street sells Sam's soft drinks for one or two quarters, I can't remember
>about $3 for lunch
>do this everyday
>omelet for breakfast
>ramen for dinner
>spend the rest of my money on alcohol and weed

>>6069596
Story time.

i put through chestnut mushrooms as button mushrooms at the self service till in tescos

>>6069614
i brought 4 to-go boxes from a chinese reasturant and filled each one while i was there. Didnt pay for the buffet either cuz i entered through the back door

>>6069608

that's a lot of fucking grapes

>>6069604
Those free refill fountains are a complete novelty in my country and they only introduced them at KFC afaik.
The first time I encountered one I abused it until I felt sick to my stomach.
The shame faded with the nausea though.

>go to steakhouse for dinner with gf
>get a decent dinner, don't tip
>put beer mugs, silverware and cloth napkins in her purse

it's insane how much shit you can stuff into a womans purse, it's like a bottomless bag

>>6069624
i really like grapes

My dad used to make me steal meat from an asian buffet. He brought these really crappy plastic bags with him and they would always break open in my purse and make the meat go everywhere. I was a vegetarian then, too.

I prepared a fancy sit-down dinner for my family last night.

>>6069636
>I was a vegetarian then, too.
Serves you right.

>>6069610
Other than the first story I think we are the same person.

>>6069596
>in highschool we would all go to cici's for get togethers
>there were like 15-20 of us so its a lot to keep track of
>my then GF, has them custom make her a pizza for the table (which you can do at no extra cost if you pay for the buffet)
>mfw she didnt even pay for the buffet because initially she wasnt even hungry, she just wanted to hang out with us
>she only eats 2 pieces and i talk her in to sneaking out the rest in her purse
kinda miss that chick

>>6069615
when self checkout was new at walmart i used to put meat from the deli/butcher on the scale and ring it up as potatoes
theyve gotten wise to that shit now though

I ordered bk breakfeast burritos and then went to eat it in a taco bell with a shitton of fire sauce

>>6069686
you took it too far and spoiled it for everyone. you got greedy

>>6069703
just lift up the bag slightly while weighing

Me and some buddies were eating at subway and about to go see a movie. Get a foot long, eat half, shove the rest in my friends purse, eat the rest in the theater

>>6069712
did that with a meatball sub and cargo pants once

>>6069712
Not very jewish i guess, but saved me from buying a small popcorn for the same price

You know, the stereotype of Jews being stingy/greedy is really a very new trope. It only came about during the World Wars and thanks to kooky shit like the Protocols of Zion.

But you know who else had a reputation for being stingy and greedy and money-mad?

The Scots. Thats right, they were the original miserly scoundrels. Lets rebame this the Scottish thread

Whenever I'm at Taco Bell I'll get free food at that coin drop game and give it to people for free. I'm seriously an expert at it, probably a 75% success rate, so I can usually get a taco, bean burrito, and cinnamon twists for a total of 40¢. I'll keep doing it but the employees usually make me stop after 2 or 3 wins. Feels good man.

I was once at a pizza buffet hanging out with friends, and saw a deshiviled-looking guy come in. He was wearing large cargo shorts. He ate pizza for a while, and right before we left I saw him go back to the buffet. He took a slice of pizza with his hands, rolled it up from the crust down, and put it into his pocket. He did this with three more slices before my friends convinced me to stop watching him; you could see the grease soaking through the fabric and everything, I imagine it was burning his leg. I like to imagine that he filled up all of the pockets on his shorts.

>>6069726
What the hell are you talking about? Jews have always been portrayed as stingy and greedy at least in Europe. They were usurers and fucking people over with banking because Christians were forbidden to engage in such activities because of Canon laws.

>>6069726

J

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>>6069726
sorry ishmael, but jews beeing greedy and focused on money is an ancient meme
nice try tho.

>>6069726
read some alexander the great quotes on jews.

read some george washington quotes on jews

read about why coins have ridges on the edges now

read about how catholics felt about jews for 99% of history

>>6069726
back to england son

Used 25% discount code on $0.20 bag of yeast

>>6069681
>sneaking out food in purse
awww how cute. a fat couple.

>>6069726
>relatively new trope
read "The Merchant of Venice," and see Shakespeare's term "shylock." that was the late 1590's.

Walked six miles in the pissing rain and got a foot infection to get a free soft drink I didn't even want just because I didn't want a coupon to go wasted.

i died for your sins

>>6069604
That's not jewish. That's niggardly. Filtered.

Son,sun jesus was a jew. I drive a hard bargain sometimes, but give it back. I have never understood the difference.I respect it but my my, they are missing out on much, needlessly ham and bacon come to the dark side... ok methodist as you will thats importatnf though I must be careful I have no hostility to Islam, ?Sunii or Shite, indeed Jesus is listed as a prophet.and... never mind,,, just dont see why we cant all get along until... people in back to back churches and graveyards so bitter and hate filled their loss .Dont be obsessive,Dwalii, Hindi, all OK. as a Methodist, I always watch the pope at Rome Christmas mass eve not a big deal how you live your life is a big deal the least of thees should be the most.. parable of the good samaritan ok am banned still a nice thought. I eat every thing. sorry o neg blood so it follows

>>6069810
You're a horrible parody of Old Rambling Guy.

>Trying to figure out something to do with friends in HS
>Decide on $2 movies
>Hungry and poor, but my friends mom just made a cherry pie
>Convince the girl in our group to line her biggest purse with a plastic bag
>Smuggle in a full pie, serving utensils and four plates
>Eating homemade cherry pie whilst watching Emma Stone and Cunnygail Breslin in Zombieland

About a decade ago when McDonald's pre-made their burgers I would order a burger without pickles with a value meal (combo), at the drive thru window, to ensure that they made a fresh one. This meant that I'd have to park my car in the waiting bay and wait for someone to come out and deliver my meal. But before I did that I'd ask for my fries to munch on while I wait for the rest of the meal. Then I'd go and park my car.
Nine times out of ten I'd get more fries when they deliver the meal to my car, because they either forgot or someone else completed the order.

Free fries.

Whenever I go to a fast food place I grab a shit ton of napkins. Not too rhe point of it being noticeable, but almost.

>>6070732
This kind of "social engineering" is my favorite thing to read about.

Seems harmless compared to people who cheat the self checkout.

>>6070773
A throwback to another time

>>6069716
I used to sneak in 40's of St. Ides into the theater in my cargo shorts. Made Men in Black 3 a lot more tolerable.

>>6070785
MIB3 was amazing. It was the second one that sucked.

>>6069590
Fill out the surveys on fast food receipts and getting free food.

Taking a fat stack of napkins too.

>>6070793
You must be from Planet Damn.

>>6069747
What does the edges on change have to do with jews?

>>6069681
sneaking out fucking messy as fuck pizza in a woman's purse

What the fuck?

>>6070814
*>

I'm pretty sure I've got you all Beat.

Let me school you on how to get free fast food.

1. go to drive thru
2. order whatever the fuck you want (creativity is key)
3. just leave the line and go inside
4. order whatever inside
5. while waiting for your food you might hear the employees refer to your order
6. ask the manager if they're going to throw away any food and ask if you could have it.

works 9 /10 times and the niggers are too stupid to realize what the fuck just happened.

>>6069631
kinda similar, we steal the dipping cups they serve condiments in.

so far we have, 1 from Denny's, 3 from Chili's, 4 from Peel(a local pizza place), and 2 from Olive Garden.

we also have a spatula from Pizza Hut. I use it all the time.

>>6070838
why did they have dipping cups for pizza?

>>6070841
They also served pretzel rolls and Prosciutto Involtinis. and some other appetizers.

They had 4 dipping sauces, some kinda white cheese dip, marinara, this kinda garlic infused oil, and a spicy mustard dip

I sometimes sneak fiber bars into fast food places since there's usually nothing with fiber on the menu.

>>6070888
what the fuck is wrong with you

i dont tip

>>6069590
>self checkout
>buy 3-400g of your favorite healthy snack, like dried mango
>charge it as the cheapest bulk fruit in the store
usually limes. Saves me 7-9 dollars each time.

>>6070809
Jews shaved the sides off of gold coins in England, then melted them down and sold the gold while also still using those coins as regular currency.
When the government eventually found out, he had a group of them drawn and quartered, and I think a number of them were expelled also or something.
That's why we have ridges on our coins.

Go to aldi (cheap australian shop) buy 69c soda drinks. Put it all in school bag and go out to chug with mates.

>>6070902
>not tipping
I hope for your sake you don't continue returning to those restaurants.

>>6069590
I saw a woman peel oranges in the store and buy them in order to not pay for the skin.

Does this win?

>>6070938
>bitch doesn't even save the orange peels for zest

>>6069604
>>6069623
>>6069631
>>6069636
>>6069686
>>6070822

extreme poverty and thievery

>>6070938

Ausfag here, feel free to use as guide.

>I bought those $2 McDoubles and asked to put ketchup n Pickles, which are free.
Saved me 70¢ on upgrading to a cheeseburger, and it gives me a extra free patty

>McDoubles phased out here so I just do it to Double Beef n Bacons

>Take extra napkins to use as tissues at home

>Free ketchup packets requested, always

>Vegemite is also free, I take one to have as my free morning Vitamin B supplement

>Make Newbies put my coffee as White or Black in meal deal
makes meal deal cost even cheaper and 50% of the time they can't distinguish these perculated coffee from a regular Flat White & Long black

>Back when they did waffle comes last year, I found out certain extra toppings are free. So I asked for extra choc sauce, m&m and marshmallows

>>6069608
How do they not get suspicious of the grape skeletons

>>6069712
I think it's the theaters who are being Jews in this case

>>6069747
>read about what people of different religion says about a different religion
Yep. Sure m8

>>6070732
Sure does piss them off when you ask them that.
You can also identify the semi-newbie, make your order, then say you ordered 2 of something but they only put the order down as one. A lot of manager's are so lazy they just make it up for you for free, as an Apology. Then go spazz and shout at the kid later.

>>6070822
In my management we say yes. And then reuse the food for the next order.

>>6070888
I'm sure you could wear them around your neck and you're not sneaking.

>>6069590

The problem is this sauce really doesn't taste good on anything that isn't taco bell. It tastes like heaven for some reason on Taco Bell shit, but sucks on anything else I try to make

Go to temple each Saturday.

>>6069590
>What's the most jewish thing you did?
I went to a sauna and it was so hot that it felt like I was in an oven.

>>6071014

Pretty fucking weak dude

>>6069590
charging interest

>>6071015
Just laugh it off mate. No need to get upset.
There's no evidence to suggest that the sauna even happened.

;_;

>>6071022

I'm not mad at all, it was just a painfully unfunny joke.

>>6071030
Oh, ok. Sorry.

Plz don't crucify me.

>>6069590
Funny thing about that. I work at taco bell an at the drive thru the policy is 1 sauce packet per 2 food items and not to ask for sauce. We really arent supposed to ask the customers for sauce since it is technically "available upon request." We are cheap as fuck.

>>6071045

Then stop putting it out in bins. Every time I order in the store, I take at least 20-30 sauce packets. I do use all of them because I'm a fucking weird piece of shit and like stuff drenched, but it's a bit hypocritical to put a gold-mine of that awesome sauce out in the store and only offer other customers a mime's share of it

>>6071051
Hey I agree with you. We are only supposed to do the 1 per 2 items thing at the drive thru. At my store we dont do that since we know people want more. I give like 2 per 1 item. On Sundays we usually run out of mild sauce since people like that sauce the most. My personal favorite is the verde sauce. Before that it was some chipotle sauce that came in brown packets. That shit was amazing.

>>6071058

Good on you for giving the people what they want and deserve. Those packets can't be too fucking expensive individually. Personally I hate the Verde and I hated the Chipolte sauce, but that's just my preference. I get a shit load of Fire every single time.

>>6071051
>mime's share

Huh. Is this actually a phrase?

>>6071045
What if I want sauce on both my foods?

>>6071068

It is now

>>6071077
Taco Bell doesnt care man. We arent even supposed to as you if you want sauce. You really think they want us to give you a lot?

>>6069681
>>6069623
that's not jewish. jewish is sneaking extra shit and being cheap. you guys are niggers. you actually steal shit in a non-crafty fashion.

>>6071105
Whats the difference between jews and criminals

Walked to subway with a free drink coupon, free sub coupon, and 3 2 for 1 coupons. Left with 4 subs and 4 drinks for free.

>>6071348
the /pol/ answer: Jews make the laws so that they don't have to be criminals
the slightly more savvy answer: penny-pinching is too small in scale and exploits favorable loopholes approved by businesses after doing cost-benefit analysis, so being "jewish" by grabbing 20 packs of sauce which cost a cent each to make when you only paid 1 dollar for 30 cents worth of food substance is far more utility than stealing shit that hasn't been calculated to offset loss prevention.

>>6069631
we have stolen a shit ton of the dipping cup/bowls from CPK, they're great

Does anyone remember that guy from /k/ that hoarded fire sauce packets because he thought it would be the currency of post-apocalyptia?

KFC, got the cheapest set with free refills. Put a movie on my netbook and kept getting refills and bathroom breaks for next 3-4 hours or so. I think I drank 20 cups or so.

Got diarrhea in the end.

>>6069726

There was this scottish organization that was meant to fight with the harmful stereotype of stingy scottsman. They weren't too successful. Among the members they managed to raise less than £50 from the members.

The tropes are different though: Scotts are stingy, they get by little, spend very little despite having much. Jews are greedy. If there's a deal they can swindle to own profit, they will: abuse open buffet, obtain X item + Y free, then return X, or request the food to be gluten-free and demand discount for all the missing gluten.

>>6071420
>There was this scottish organization that was meant to fight with the harmful stereotype of stingy scottsman. They weren't too successful. Among the members they managed to raise less than £50

kek'd hard

1. Pick a pizza I want
2. Memorize the ingredients
3. Request the cheapest discount "just cheese" generic pizza, with extra toppings as follows: [list ingredients of chosen pizza]
4. Pay some 25% less for "generic with toppings" instead of "named".

Then...

5. Realize even that "named" one is the cheapest in the area and the pizza was delicious.
6. Tip 30%.

I keep doing this on regular basis and the staff is very nice.

>>6070921

No, /people/ shaved the sides off of coins. Do you have any proof that it was the Jews, or even mostly Jews?

>>6071451
pls no JIDF propaganda in my /ck/

>>6069590
I was doing this back in 2006, so it may have changed. But I wouldn't be surprised if you can still do this today.

Call Little Caesar's and place an order. Tell them you want a half and half.

Because the toppings don't touch/overlap, they ring you up for the price of a $5 hot-n-ready. Since they don't have your order in the warmers, they have to make it fresh.

I used to call in half sausage, and half pepperoni and laugh all the way home.

Yeah, it's pretty shitty pizza, but it was a great way to end a stressful week for not a lot of money.

>>6071100
What shitty taco bell are you working at? if I ordered 2 tacos and watched them put in a single sauce packet after I ordered I was be like... wat.

>>6071434
Why don't you just order the named pizza and not tip if you are going to pay 97.5% of the cost after tip?

At certain fast food places I say I have a coupon for $1 off the combo. Usually they just take it off without even asking but if they do ask for the coupon I just say I lost it and most of the time they just say "don't worry about it".

I also have a shitload of expired coupons that I use since most of the time people don't even look at the date. Only time I got caught was when this try hard autist working the drive thru pointed out that my coupon was expired.

>>6072148
Because the company would be getting that money and not the employees?

>>6072185
Why would you give a shit about the employees?

>>6071459
Manager of a LC here. Depends on the store. We certainly wouldn't, but the menus change from place-to-place.

>>6071451
/jewish/ "people"

>>6072189
Because they handle your food retard.

>>6069633

I too, really like grapes.

$3 a pound, and I eat them like candy.

>>6069610
>>6069673
>same person
What? Fat slobs?

As anyone knows, Eggs from Waffle house are expensive like fucking why. 3.40 for 2 eggs basically.

However for some reason on an older menu, Burger toppings (which were 40 cents each) included eggs.

So I would get dollar burgers with eggs on them because eggs on burger taste good anyways.

They later took eggs off the list of burger toppings as if knowing I was doing this.

>>6070977
There's something so delightful about the phrase "suspicious grape skeletons."

>>6070972
Oops, just remembered another
Impress your girlfriend with a McDonald's affogato

Ask the 14 year old at the register to make you a cone in a lid, and to pour a short black on top. $2 instead of $5-6 at the hipster cafe. If you have a McCafe, tell them to put it in as espresso. Then it will only cost you 80¢ tops.

I killed Jesus

Technically, his name was pronounced Haysoose because he was mexican but that's pretty close.

I can't really mention the most jewish thing I did because it sits firmly in /pol territory.

But I did once switch cheap battery eggs with organic eggs in the grocery and got away with it.

>>6074043
steal someones land and kill the population?

>>6070756
I do this ALL THE TIME. I have a drawer in my desk at work just full of napkins. I hoard them shits.

Well, my grandfather died in Auswitz. I think that was pretty jewish.