/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>6029442
To be fair that does sound kind of awful.

>>6029442
>be shitter new guy
>talk to the head honcho like you're remotely in the same universe of skill


Yeah dude of course he's going to think you're retarded

>>6029453
Not really. If I were a chef I'd at least try it out.

that's his way of telling you he doesn't have time for 3rd grade questions. of course he knows what that is he's just not going to waste his time and prove himself to you. since you are just a stupid employee talks more than works. get over yourself if you think people want to hear your side of the culinary world. go and read a book. when at work shut up and do your job and keep it clean. after about two years in the same kitchen you can maybe start to make small talk

>>6029442
>working as head chef
>some new hire won't do his job and yaps about some stupid gravy
>I just walk away laughing at the thought of him still being employed tomorrow

>>6029459
>being rude because you're the head honcho

Great use of your status.

>>6029468
Are you new to the restaurant industry or something? There is no such thing as a nice chef.

I just thought it would be interesting to talk about on a slow day.

>>6029474
You've been watching too many reality cooking shows starring Gordy Rams.

>>6029488
No, those chefs are over the top for the sake of shock and ratings. Your every day chef is your every day brand of dick.

>>6029488
>tfw /ck/ makes me believe every kitchen is like Gordon Ramsey's or Michelin tier

And then I gave up dream of wanting to be a prep cook or cook one day, despite it being the one thing I'm good at..

>>6029474
that's not true at all. The great ones are usually nice and glad to show you tips and tricks.

The mid to shit tier ones like to boost their egos by bringing people down.

>did extra work at a 5 star hotel
>couldn't even cut green onion properly
>head chef gave me a one on one on how to make fine (he called them Thai) cuts
>one extra with 20+ years of experience told me 20 different factors to a perfect burger that I couldn't even fathom

Alternatively

>work at shitty hipster pub
>kitchen only exists because of stupid law where you have to serve food when serving liquor
>cocky british hipster chef
>has a "new system" for everything, wont shut up about how much the other chef blows
>literally cocks up everything, pre slices the steak and fridges it at 4 degrees until brown
>called me an idiot for boiling beef for a chili and throws it on a 300 degree grill, telling me I don't know what the hell I'm doing
>tells me to make a 10 dish buffet using the barest kitchen I've ever seen, and calls me an idiot, not a real chef, an amateur when I ask him how to make the buffet items
>mfw I am a head chef, the other worker is a head chef, and he got shit canned

Trust me the only asshole chefs are the ones who are insecure and want to make themselves feel important.

>>6029518
just share your hambooigah factors, dude

if the chef is fat, means he is probably lazy. lazy tens to mean less clean.

>>6029518
>The mid to shit tier ones like to boost their egos by bringing people down.

What about Gordon Ramsey, he is literally one of the best three chefs in the world.

>>6029559
But he praises the ones who do well, I think that anon was talking about the chefs who don't praise even rarely and just discipline is all they know.

>>6029559
I get the feeling it's a stage persona. Like if he ever went back to being a head chef he would probably be calm and logical and just ensure everything ran in an orderly fashion without stressing. You know, like a good chef is supposed to. Why would you waste your breath making mountains out of molehills?

>>6029559
For all you know it probably still applies. Being a cunt doesn't make him less of a chef. Although he seems like a reasonably pleasant person in his home kitchen.

>first day at regional fast-food chain
>working graveyard (9pm-6am) shift
>my manager looks like a fat, midget harry potter
>tells me to come to the stockroom
>slow sales
>whynot.jpg
>every staff member is railing coke
>i'm expected to bring it next time
and that's how i became a cokehead

>>6029460

The chef obvs knew what it was and was just fucking with him.

>>6029673
Obvs. What a perf prank by a rad brah chef

>>6029578

Ramsay got btfo by the fag from Top Gear.

Get fucked with your Chef Ramsay cocksucking.

>>6029559
Did you forget the part where its all an act for him?

>Go into work
>Have a wall of shame for stupid tickets
>20 top ticket, not seperated
>A chicken cordon blue with no lettuce, honey mustard, cheese, tomatoes or even a bun
>He orders a $8 chicken and ham sandwich

>Another day
>Open kitchen
>Customers can see us and yell at us
>afterbarrush.webm
>Woman orders our normal rice bowl
>Rice, chicken, black beans, shredded cheese, 3 sauces
>"I'M DEATHLY ALLERGIC TO GLUTEN, SO NO RICE!"
>Manager and I look at each other
>Manager in a condescending tone, "You do know rice doesn't have gluten right?"
>She is stumped
>The crowds face

>>6029691

>2 new menu items for my station
>revised sweetbreads dish and a bay scallops dish
>really fucking slow all day, people only ordering the most basic dishes on my station
>fuck around, tell the runners I want them to tell the waiters to push the new dishes
>plated a few, and while they were more complicated than my other dishes and wasn't too used to them, they were really fun to make/plate
>for 2 hours it's the same old
>suddenly out of fucking nowhere I get slammed with 3 scallops, a sweetie, 4 contorni dishes, and 3 more basic dishes (a mozzarella and a short rib) half of those orders being VIPS
>trying to get shit done asap while trying not to burn myself on all the pans I'm pulling from my fucking oven to get shit done
>after everything's finished chef and the runners let out this strange giggle
>"want us to push the new dishes more anon?"
>those ho's

>>6029806
The last pic was our scallops

Here's our sweetie by the way

We're serving it with these cast iron grilled to order abalone mushroom steaks and a caciopepe sauce that tastes fucking awesome


Also have moar stories if anyone wants to hear

>>6029806
>>6029815
Well tits here it is

>>6029815
I would love to hear

>>6029506

If you gave up your dream because 4chan told you too you're an idiot anyway.

>>6029496

Not where I work. Everyone yells and shit but we all like eachother and call eachother over the top ridiculous insults and laugh like hell.

>>6029818
While I'm sure it's delicious, it would seem much more appealing if it didn't look like the chef squirted diseased jizz all over the plate.

>>6029826
Aw anon! I'm on it!
This ones gonna be a little sad

>be the only female line cook at the restaurant
>suddenly holy shit another chick shows up!
>really fucking cool, dyed hair tattooed badass who acts like a guy and is basically Someone I want to act like one day
>mentions to me that she used to be a cocaine addict/alcoholic but has been sober for over a year
>we become really close, I disregard the shit talk people say about her because I assume they're just jealous or something
>about 3 months in she starts calling in sick frequently, or comes into work very dizzy or nauseous
>I assume it's some stomach bug
>one day I come into work and she doesn't show up at all
>wait a week
>no one mentions anything
>tfw I find out she showed up drunk and high and has been doing drugs and drinking the entire time I've known her
>tfw after being fired no ones seen or heard from her since

I know addictions common here but don't let it eat you guys alive ;_;

>>6029836
It does look sort of weird in the pic but anon I promise you this shit tastes like a 10/10 god tier sauce

>>6029506

>wanting to be a prep cook
>giving up your dream because of 4chan

although if 4chan was enough to persuade you to not be a chef then you probably wouldn't have ultimately enjoyed being one anyway, you need a lot more passion than that

This thread reminds me of that one dumbass who got fired for throwing out the stock and keeping the bones and vegetables when the chef told him to "strain the stock" and then came crying to /ck/ thinking we'd agree it was a reasonable mistake for someone working in a kitchen.

I wonder if he quit the industry.

>>6029506
You dream of being a prep cook? Dream bigger dude. Go be a prep cook though, fuck 4chan

>tfw poached shrimp mousse

>tfw chicken stuffed with poached shrimp mousse

>>6029902
>>6029856
i dont want to be a prep cook but its how you start, and if everyone who cooks posts here about how terrible the environment is and how they have to be high or drunk to cope, what an asshole their coworkers and boss are. fuck sounds shitty now.

you pathetic kitchen cucks are some of the funniest people on this website.

>>6029960
you give way to many fucks about what the internet says. go live. its easier than you think

>>6029969
are kitchen cucks white men whos fetish it is to see random black men cook and eat their food in their kitchens?

>>6029976
no i just use 4chan buzzwords when i want to shitpost

>>6029973
ive had 2 kitchen jobs before and theyre eerily similar to what people post, i want to dream big but if every experience will be like the ones i was in, doesn't look too bright. I'm going to try anyways, I just posted because its not exactly encouragement what you read from people actually where i want to be.

>>6029960
It's fast paced, high stress, exacting and low praise.

Basically to be successful you have to bea certain type of adrenalin junky mixed with OCD.

>>6029979
ive heard doing cocaine helps tremendously.

>>6029986
i do speed occasionally but i dont know if that will help me

>>6029960

Ok I was just confused because of how you phrased it.

Anyway the job pays like shit, you have to work long hours on your feet, it's hot, you get yelled at, you have to work holidays and weekends. If that dissuades you then it's not the industry for you. If it doesn't, as it didn't for me because I was passionate enough about cooking (and yes I knew how awful it would be beforehand so I was not blindsided), then do it.

>>6029984

I'm not an adrenaline junkie at all, I'm actually a huge pussy, but I still like it. You have to be able to be comfortable in high stress environments though.

>>6029986
see >>6029849
it fucks you up mang don't do it

Worked in a few kitchens in the last five years or so... I don't like chefs - unwilling to help, too willing to insult or injure; constructive criticism's one adjective too long.

Started a new job at what is essentially a chain, interview's with head honcho, things seem ok... the longer I'm there, the more I see that he's just a dickhead chef, moved out of the kitchen, who still likes to pop in to micromanage and delights at terrifying my staff... I'm finalizing some brief negotiations into a media job, and when that's all said and done, I'm fucking with the menu on the first day of my two weeks and leaving it like that until I'm told to leave.

>>6029765
>chicken cordon blue with no lettuce, honey mustard, cheese, tomatoes or even a bun

I was really confused about why you'd put most of that shit in the dish to begin with until I realized its just a sandwich named after a totally different thing.

>>6029849
I've seen a lot of folks go down that road, anon. Ironically, I was into that shit when I started out as a dish guy, and working in the kitchen got me to sober up quite a bit somehow. I still drink more often than not after I get off work, but I'm a thousand times better than I used to be.

Honestly I don't know why anyone would want to get fucked up and work in a kitchen; its hazardous as fuck, what with knives and fire and shit going on.

>>6029486
Apparently he had something better to do with his time than talking about the job which he's already sick of.

>>6029442
OP that's lewd

>>6029518
>nice
>tips and tricks
>when some fresh new upstart tries to one up you with his ghetto ass cooking book smarts but it turns out all it is is a fucking diner mainstay

i'd probably fire him honestly. someone like that does not belong in a kitchen- just the type of fag to change dishes after youve made them because the chef 'did it wrong'

>>6029815
>mushroom steaks
haha fucking kill yourself

>>6029849
>really fucking cool, dyed hair tattooed badass who acts like a guy and is basically Someone I want to act like one day

> basically Someone I want to act like one day

NO

STOP

NO

BAD GIRL
BAD

>>6029518
>>6029540
Yeah dude be like your nice mentor.

>>6029468
you can thank that guy from hell's kitchen for justifying the verba abuse toward your coworkers

>>6030454


This, stay yourself... out of the entire universe, there is only one you (:


plus dis hoe a fucking rocky 4sure, even if i would steam her jogga with me gabs

>>6030454
Shut up normie

>Go be a tattooed badass female that takes no shit if you want to anon

>>6029818
That looks fucking amazing

>>6030529
did i trigger you?

maximum kek be a nasty whore somehwere else, dyke

>>6029442
I'm not fond of red eye gravy.

>>6029858

Actually I feel for the guy, assuming he wasn't pretending to be a know it all its a reasonable mistake to make. He probably had a shitty 'don't ask questions' wannabe Ramsey boss who's bad attitude backfired on him but poor anon had to pay the price

>>6029849

Reminds me of my wife, without fail every time she meets a girl who she thinks is really cool it inevitably turns out she's a drug addicted either lesbian or generally a huge slut and it breaks her heart every time that she can't meet a 'cool' looking chick who has her shit together

>>6029442
It's always good to piss off the chef when you start in a new kitchen.
Enjoy your short and painful stay, dumbfuck.

>>6029969
This cuck thing is the crappiest insult meme I've seen in ages. It's like the sort of insult white trash old men from the 80s throw around.

>boss has everyone in the bakeshop make a gingerbread house every year
>it's the worst part of the job other than decorating wedding cakes
>he likes them garishly decorated with 100 types of candy
>he hates my attempts to make a realistic looking house
>pick a catholic church gingerbread house to duplicate out of a book
>have a gingerbread priest molesting a gingerbread kid inside
>nobody thinks it's funny other than me and my boss
>show it to people in the kitchen and they just look at me like I'm fucked up
>sous chef has me break the door off the church so I can remove it

fuck christmas

>>6030765
Enjoy it being a jobless christmas after someone files a complaint on your childish ass.

>>6030761
Oh, and in b4 >hit a nerve?

>>6030767
If his boss found it funny, he's probably fine.

>>6030767
I personally would promote him.

Good one m8, I had a giggle

>>6030765
>pick a catholic church gingerbread house to duplicate out of a book
>have a gingerbread priest molesting a gingerbread kid inside

10/10

Every chef I worked under was a chronic underachiever and/or an idiot, none were interested in improving their fundamental ability to create food and dismissive or even hostile to subordinates who dared offer advice, and one was an ex-con who served time for assault with a deadly weapon.

Glad I got out of that racket years ago and earned my CPA.

>>6030765

This year do a diorama of the the brown shooting, comolete with gingerbread cop car and little shaving of cigarillos

All the cooks at my work are really great guys in my opinion. I've been a dishwasher for a month and change and I can honestly say I have never seen anybody be hostile to anyone.

>go to the christmas party
>no one cards me
>nice.
>Its a joint party with the two restaurants the owners run
>Its apparent that my restaurant is the smaller one
>go to the bar
>see all the guys I work with sitting together, watching the game.
>themefromCheers.mp3

>>6029765
It's spelled separated*

>>6030788
This is pretty caustic. None of the chefs I worked for were nearly that bad, although a lot of them had anger problems.

>>6029849

My sister was a chef but she quit cause she hated the hours, the wounds from being burnt/cut and her boss kept fucking around with her pay. Not really a funny story but whenever there was a black person customer, they would always order their eggs to be cooked so the yolk was hard.
Anyone know why this is? Do blacks just hate runny yolks or something?

>>6030529
>tattooed badass female

height of normaldom

>>6029806
Somewhat related

>Waiter at a sushi restaurant
>Boss makes up a new sushi plate with tons of the more special rolls
>After a few weeks, he mentions that he is disappointed that we haven't sold more
>Friday evening he tells us to SELL SELL SELL!!
>"Uh boss, it's friday night. You know how many customers we have..."
>"Doesn't matter! SELL SELL SELL!!"
>Surely nothing could go wrong?
>Mental breakdown in the kitchen because they recieved 20 plates at the same time, along with a fuckton of yakatori
>Somehow this was our fault

He was a cool boss, but damn he had his retarded moments

>>6029849
i hear this way too often

>>6029569
>But he praises the ones who do well
lol

Anger and having an ogre face is the only emotion he knows.

>>6031031

Yeah, everyone in the restaurant business knows about black well done. Its not even racist, the blacks will complain and send food back if its regular white well done. We're talking 200°+ on steaks, chicken, chops, hard fried eggs, bacon burnt to the point of snapping instead of bending, etc.

>>6030788

I only worked with people like that when I started out in a shitty restaurant. I take it you only have worked in shitholes? There's plenty of alcohol and substance abuse but everyone I work with is extremely motivated and competent. We yell at eachother, but it's more intentional hyperbole than anything for the sake of amusement; all of us are friends.

>>6029976
I just LOLED to the max, you glorious bastard.

God speed to you, my friend.

>>6030450
>>6030456

OK here are the ones I remember

1. buns must always be hot, if the buns are cold the customer will complain the burger is cold.
2. tomato must never touch bread, it will get real sloppy real fast
3. bacon is best pre cooked in the oven on a low steam, more even texture and less brittle and dry after the grill cook.
4. burgers can and should go in the oven before serving. ensures cooked through without becoming black on top, and the cheese is 100x nicer
5. if you are putting a pickle on top, skin down, so the bun doesn't become soggy
6. sauce on the bottom, and only ever on the bottom, unless it is hot (heated not spicy)
7. if putting a stick through it, apply as little pressure as possible.

There were a few more but the amazing thing was, we had burgers at the hotel for the a la carte menu, pretty much pub burgers but nicer meat - in the nicest way possible he explained that he had watched me and saw like 10 things I was doing wrong. Then he blessed me with the tiniest sliver of his knowledge. What was even cooler was, he wasn't even involved with the a la carte cooking he was prepping for a big event the next day and kinda watched me as he worked.

>>6031850

>literally spongebob style cooking

>>6031893
i don't get it.

>>6030753
that fucking feel

every cool friend ive had went to rehab and basically has been a nasty scuz slut. goddamn that is why i gave up on female friends.

>>6029442
Except it's not a stupid joke. And the wiki article is as retarded as whoever believes it. Your chef now thinks you are a moron.

>>6029442
>some pleb starts working in the kitchen
>asks me if i've ever heard of red eye gravy
>i have but, but act like i haven't cause it's poor hick food
>he begins to tell me how to make it and i laugh and walk away

>>6032081
You're a fucking idiot, too.

>>6032100
nah. the beaner dishwasher who just got promoted to kitchen bitch is the fucking idiot. i went to the C.I.A. (culinary institute of america for you pleb ramen eaters) i know anhtony bourdain. i fucked giada de laurentiis fuck you wannabe chefs. your food sucks and you will never be successful.

>>6032121
You aint shit i fucked mario batali right in his fat red ass

>>6032137

did you get to smell his orange crocs

please tell me you did

i bet they smelled like angels

>>6032149
No i smelled his orange cock. Smelled like fuckin charcuterie

>>6030452
I mean we sell actual steaks too but abalone steaks are fucking delicious dude

>>6030454
I mean I'm terrified of needles (says the person who gets cut and burned on the daily) and I'm not really adventerous enough to dye my hair but she did have a really cool attitude man

>>6031850
>chewy bacon
Kill yourself

>>6032121
let me guess, got blown out in the kitchen by some culinary school grad after being a complete ass to them only for the fact that they went to culinary school? Now you are venting your sad frustrations under anonymity on teh interwebs top kek el ol el #ebintroll

>>6029518
>>kitchen only exists because of stupid law where you have to serve food when serving liquor

what state?

>>6029442
Sorry OP. I ran a steak with red-eye gravy and got a disgusted response from the servers. The chef was okay with it though. If it's any comfort he sounds like a fuck, and isn't so much a "chef" as a supervisor.

Cheers to the crazy shit we put out from Welsh rarebit, to red-eye gravy, to eggs blackstone (belly bacon!? heresy! lol).

>>6032181
dunno where he is from, but it's like that in FL

even at 2 am when the kitchen is closed if some guy at the bar asks for food, the bartender has to begrudgingly burn him a steak or something

>>6032184
Where did the whole "it must not be emulsified so it looks like a red eyeball in a dish" thing come from? My great grandma's old recipe for it used dark roux, coffee, bell pepper, onion, and celery. I would guess it's just that there's a lot of regional differences battling it out, or some such, but I can only remember it being served emulsified when I had it in GA while growing up, too.

>>6032275
I have no idea.

The servers stopped pushing it when they realized the ingredients.

Fucking lardasses will chug ranch dressing but won't touch non-emulsified sauces or dressings.

>>6032302
In all fairness, I'm not a fan of it done that way. It doesn't even seam like a real sauce to me, but that's probably because I was taught by those around me that it is made much like other gravies, but with drippings, dark roux, and coffee. i could definitely see a use for it separated, but if someone told me that's how red eye gravy was made up until I moved to Washington state and someone there told me it's more like OP.

>>6032302
In all fairness, I'm not a fan of it done that way. It doesn't even seam like a real sauce to me, but that's probably because I was taught by those around me that it is made much like other gravies, but with drippings, dark roux, and coffee. i could definitely see a use for it separated, but if someone told me that's how red eye gravy was made up until I moved to Washington state and someone there told me it's more like OP I would have thought they were teasing.

>>6029461
why do i imagine you as russian? you are the most ignorant person ever. always reward creativity and initiative or that same guy whose hopes you just crushed is gonna walk out on you and make more money for somebody else... wanker

>>6032381
I only worked with one chef who had any sense of workplace politics - if he didn't have time to answer questions, or whatever he'd be straight about it, but still apologetic. He understood that if the new guy could cook, he'd try to prove it. He got put up to management, hated it, and quit. I had to fill his shoes, while running constantly in my own, and after a few weeks of 18h days with no time off, with no discernible effort from anyone trying to run to place to hire a new chef, I had to step down as well.

>>6031850
>sauce on bottom
No.

>>6032969
more flavour with less sauce, mayo on bottom layer keeps liquids from saturating the bun, butter's another option

>>6029442
>>I begin to tell him how to make it and he laughs and walks away

Silly you. All Applebees Head Chefs know that gravys aren't made, they come in bags, big dummy.

>>6029858
>>6030748

Yeah, I blame the head chef, not that guy.

Why would you fire a guy who just learned an expensive lesson? Especially one that he wouldn't have made if you had properly given him instructions.

>>6029849
>>6029818
>>6029806
me again here to tell more stupid stories.

>get a ticket order in
>customer claims they're deathly allergic to dairy
>everyone cleans their shit up to ensure no dairy will enters said customers meal
>10 minutes in a waiter comes down and asks if we could give a little plate of butter to the customer because she prefers to have butter with the complimentary bread rather than our olive oil
>mfw we wasted time sterilizing all our shit mid service for her lying ass

>>6033322
someone told an identical story except with a gluten allergy. Literally exactly the same except she was eating bread sticks.

>>6033613
that was probably me, minus the breadstick thing

someone mentioned they had a gluten allergy, and then the waiter comes down and mentions that they were eating the foccaccia in the bread basket and they ordered a fancy beer

our customers are fucking ridiculous, man

>>6029442

You tell a chef how to make a gravy out of grease and coffee and you weren't expecting to be ridiculed?

>>6029460
And that's why you're not a chef

Many stories of incredibly stupid orders ...

http://www.cheftalk.com/t/72430/most-memorable-stupid-orders-youve-gotten


http://www.kitchenknifeforums.com/showthread.php/15433-ridiculous-requests

>>6032381
you deserve to be bullied maybe you wouldnt be such a faggot if you were bullied

>>6034118
Took the words right out of my mouth. What a little twerp, we should totally take his lunch money

>>6030789
My fucking sides 10/10

>>6030789
I demand justice for my sides.

>>6029461
>after about two years in the same kitchen you can maybe start to make small talk
haha your life must suck

>>6029442
I laugh at flyover plebs and their pathetic attempts to prove how their disgusting flyover cuisine is anything other than misery soaked rat infested edible Ebola AIDS faggotry bullshit

>>6032181
This is true in Washington state too. Anywhere that serves alcohol has to also serve food.

>>6035266
you're a complete fucking flyover

>>6035252
yea being a cook/chef is such a scam. trying to make a blue collar job look like a white collar job