/ck/ - Food & Cooking

You make me sad OP. Sounds like your mom is lonely and really cares about you.

>>5912799
>Be me minding my own bussines
> bro: hey I made lentils and rice
> Me: hey this stuff is undercooked the rice is still crunchy
> Me: Give me your plate ill cook it a little longer
> MFW my bro goes full nigg nogg mode and starts yelling and getting agressive over it
> I be like bro youre over reacting
> MY face when he moves out and cut me out of his life over it.

Crunchy under cooked rice not even once.

>>5912836
Lol

>>5912805
This. I do not come to /ck/ for feels OP.

>>5912805

It's her own fault m8. You reap what you sow

>birthday cake for me, year after year, from Betty Crocker® shit mix
>my well-to-do friends get homemade cakes every year, and all of their family comes
>it's mom, dad and i every year, and maybe a few of my only friends
>can't hold back tears as i put her cake in the background in my mind every year

>>5912799
>Any sort of soup with beef
>Beef is cooked while raw by boiling along side every other ingredient for a solid thirty minutes

>Steak
>Placed on cold pan over medium heat
>No sear, well done, shit practically boiled also with how crowded the pan gets

>Anytime I have something going in the oven she just throws in extra shit that should cook at different termpatures or leaves a few god damn sweet potatoes in there

The struggle...

>Grow up eating chili regularly
>Never really like it
>Can barely eat it
>But manage okay
>Decide to try making it myself after I start cooking for myself a bit
>Don't put beans in it
>Turns out I really like chili

>>5912877
>mfw nigga memes HARD

>>5912874
Sorry, sort of new to cooking, but would the correct thing to do be to brown the beef in a pan first?

>>5912805
That's what happens when you raise a shit son.

>>5912879
It actually is true though. Beans fucking ruin chili. I like it so much better now that I make it without beans.

>>5912799
>>People who throw parties and don't serve food

>mother for some reason refuses to taste food as she's making it

>serves really bland food and gives a puzzled look to the question "did you put any salt and pepper in it?"

>refuses (literally refuses) to watch a clock as she's cooking so that timing of things works out
>for this reason she has never served a meal that wasn't drastically over cooked in her life

>anyone making more than necessary mess while in the process of cooking
>not tidying up as they go, wiping benches, at least making neat stacks out of used dishes on the sink
>somehow making toast turns into an exercise that requires covering the entire bench in shit

>>5912898
>he literally drinks tomato-beefwater

I love this beans meme

>>5912888
Usually you want to aim for something higher than medium heat. Medium-High/High. Use butter and oil together for a nice crust and let it sit for a few minutes per side.

Anytime you add something to a pan that isnt already hot or at the same temperature of the pan, you're going to reduce the heat of the pain. By crowding the pan, even at high heats, you drop the heat in the pan to a point where you may as well be starting at a low temperature.

>>5912913
>he literally drinks veggiebean-beefwater

I can be retarded too

>>5912923
Anon, you can't drink beanwater. Unlike Processed Beef Product and Watery Tomato Fruit, beans have heavy texture that only wide-throat dildo-lords can take. Know what I'm saying?

>>5912936
That you're an autistic retard? Yes I get your point.

I want a whole row of spaghetti.

>>5912940
I bet you could fit a whole cantaloupe down your cumpassage.

>>5912941
What is a row of spaghetti..?

> Been with girlfriend five years
> We live together
> I cook literally every night
> Girlfriend enjoys the food, but always has caveats
> "Why are there so many peas in this pasta; I don't want this many peas"
> "The sun-dried tomatoes are sliced too thin"
> "This isn't as good as last time you made it"
> I really don't mind
> Feedback is nice if it's useful
> However, five years together and she has never cooked for me
> Literally never even made me a sandwich
> My mom occasionally gives her shit for it
> She'll respond by getting defensive - "I WOULD cook but I don't want to deal with people judging my food"
> Never sees the irony in this

That shit does bug me, but what really bugs me is her presupposition that she knows how to cook, despite having never cooked in her entire life. Any time I have brought this up, she tells me, "Cooking is just reading recipes; anyone can do it. I'm not stupid."

>>5912944
It's what it sounds like, you goober.

>>5912942
Unfortunately, I don't seem to put as much thought into putting cocks and semen into my mouth as you do.

>>5912945
From reading your post. I have come to the conclusion that you are an Americuck and you allow men (often black) to ravage your girlfriend because you aren't able to satisfy her.
I pity you

>tfw thingken about op's mum
you should buy her something nice and give her a hug op

>>5912948
One thing I tell my questioning friends is to check their throats. They confirm about 99% of the time that they're wider than yours, though you seem to have a reasonable dick capacity. Don't worry, my shirtless bodyguards will take care of you.

>>5912799
>only cooks for herself
Cooking for one is such a lonely activity that when I do it I end up not putting in any effort.

>>5912868
>mother and father still together and has friends
You have people who love you and you're crying over a cake? Sounds like you don't deserve it.

>>5912912
>mother not using salt
Sounds like she's trying to reduce your sodium intake to lengthen your healthy lifespan and she's playing dumb because she loves you.

Here's mine:
>people who complain about parents who are obviously trying

>>5912961
>people who complain about parents who are obviously trying

I agree, some of these people just seem selfish

>>5912955

>>5912961
>you don't deserve it

Anon, I have high-pressure friends, I don't know if you get it

Every day is an emotional hazard because "what to wear" is increasingly claustrophobic

>>5912985
You talk like a fag and your shits all retarded.

>>5912985
And how does that make you feel?


But really, I don't get it. Enlighten us.

>>5912991
He has not told his parents he is homosex

>>5912990
>talk like a fag

You talk like a trailer person that doesn't understand sexuality.

>>5912991
Anxious is everyday. Highschool today is no joke, but when I was in highschool, shit got pretty hot real fast, and that was a recipe for retarded bullshit 85% of the time.

>>5912997
You need to watch more films fatboy, keep crying over cake

>>5913000
You sound like you live in a mansion built from your past friends' bones

I had a friend like you at one point that built a megalith out of "past" friend-corpses

he ruled the world until he died

you should keep going, vigor for life is the only spur and your blind adherence is all that's necessary

>>5913007
Yeah but then who will cull the brood?

>>5913016
i will literally kill you

>>5913020
If you did that how would know to survive.

>>5912868
>>5912985
>>5912997
>>5913007
You are the world's biggest crybaby. Eat a bag of dicks, faggot.

>>5913021
You're lucky that you;re bad enough at mainstream Ebola english to activate my final terrible form, lel. see you soon.

>>5913025
No, how can it begin before it ends.

>>5913023
Go ahead, activate me.

Captcha: rturdies asd

>>5913032
Will the almonds be activated too

>>5913035
>>>/ck/

nigga you str8 activ8in my homefriez you cornbread nigga

>>5913042
Are you cereal right now bro, do you want to see my power level?

>>5913048
I don't want to activate your gay shit-baby. All of these things are foreign to me. Praise reddit, classiest website ever. Only for internet nerds.

Captcha: nquallyt (no joke) consdaon

>>5913056
Do you want to take this inside?

>>5912874
There are dishes that call for boiled ground beef. Cincinnati chili is one of them.

I've had vegetable soup with boiled beef in it. It's not bad, has a distinct flavor, but not bad.

My parents do crowd the skillet to the point of boiling things.

>>5912945
what an awful person your girlfriend is, based on this

>>5912945
does she take it up the ass at least?

>>5912945
>judgmental of something they don't do

Far too common. They create a negative atmosphere and intimidate themselves.

>I did something!
>yeah, badly. I know I've never done it but I know how it's done.

>>5913079

I did neglect to mention that she cleans the kitchen, does the dishes, and puts the food away after, which I think is a pretty sweet deal.

>>5913099

Long story short, no. On occasion, I'll "accidentally" slip out and then "accidentally" try to jam it in the wrong hole. One of these times, it'll go in.

>Long story short, no. On occasion, I'll "accidentally" slip out and then "accidentally" try to jam it in the wrong hole. One of these times, it'll go in.
She deserves it.

>>5913124
>has girlfriend who has sex with him
>WAAAH, SHE CRITICIZES ME COOKING AND REFUSES TO COOK HERSELF

You sound autistic as fucking hell. At least you know the touch of a woman. At least someone loves you. I don't mean to go all /r9k/ on you, but holy fuck dude. Some of us don't actually have that experience, and it really pisses us off to see people like you complain about stupid shit when you still get sex and love. Be happy about that at least. Don't be a fucking asshole and complain to the bitter end of your relationship about cooking and the lack thereof.

>>5913268
woah there elliot rodger

>>5913268
Please just pay an escort and see that sex and woman are overrated before shooting everyone.

>>5913279
I am not homicidal, nor am I willing to pay an escort for sex.

I am aware that women and sex is overrated, but it would still be nice to have one or both before I die.

>>5913124
>One of these times, it'll go in.
it won't
anal doesn't work that way

>>5912912
Cook your own food you whiny piece of shit, if I could see you right now I'd slap the teeth out your mouth talking nonsense about your mother.

You goddamn faggots make me so mad, be glad you even have a fucking mom. My mother is handicap and still would cook for me to the best of her ability, and when the food isn't fucking 5 star shit you know what you do? You fucking compliment her and eat it and don't talk shit about her on the internet. I swear I'd choke the life out of some of you little shits.

8/10 for getting me rustled OP

>>5913300
this

>>5913268
>You sound autistic as fucking hell. At least you know the touch of a woman.
>YOU sound autistic

Oh man.

>>5913302
>>5912912
>>5912799

>>5912805

I hate how 4chan always sides with the family member that isn't complaining as if they are always not in the wrong and its just misunderstood affection.

It was people like you and people IRL that made me convinced my mother wasn't the problem and that it was me, and it took me several years to realise that it was actually my mother who was ruining my life.

>>5912945

>That shit does bug me, but what really bugs me is her presupposition that she knows how to cook, despite having never cooked in her entire life.

Every family member that comments on my food while I am cooking believes this.

>Anon are you sure that meat isnt going to be undercooked?
>Anon are you sure that isnt too much garlic?
>Anon are you sure that you aren't burning that ground beef? Its all brown!
>Anon I saw your pan was beginning to boil so I turned the heat down!
>Anon your dish was on the top oven shelf I didnt want it to burn so I moved it to the bottom!

>>5912799
>Jr
>42

This "Jr/Sr" thing isn't a thing in my country so can someone explain it to me, if you're called Jr are you called it for life? Until whoever you're named after died? It seems weird to be calling someone who is 42 a junior.

>>5913376
It's not like they are siding with the family member. They just like to call op a faggot

>>5913389

If someone is named "John Smith" and he has a son, whom he also names "John Smith," the son becomes "John Smith, Jr." or "John Smith II" ("John Smith the second"). From then on, the father is referred to as "John Smith, senior" and the son is "John Smith, junior" for life.

>>5913406
Now what if the son has a son?

>>5913413
I am a third John and we differentiate ourselves to the public by our middle names, none of this "Jr" or "the second"

FYI: I will not be naming my son John

>Sister is an OK cook, as good s me or better
>loves to experiment
>NEVER goes well
>tuna salad with mustard instead of mayo
>runny eggs with maple syrup
>etc
>always just throws it out

you dumb broad

>>5913468
I make tuna salad with mustard instead of mayo. Comes out amazing. Dijon mustard, bit of honey, pecans, tuna. put that shit on crackers.

>at home watching football game
>gf comes over unannounced and guilt trips me into making her something to eat
>make a grilled cheese and tomato soup because I'm watching the game and can't be bothered to spend a lot of time in the kitchen
>"Why don't you make good food, Anon?"

every time I don't cook something fancy or we don't go out to a restaurant she fucking complains, and really what's wrong with grilled cheese and tomato soup?

>>5913510
Stop being a fucking slave.
Stand up for yourself.

She's an adult and should be able to cook a meal herself.

>>5913544
I'm whipped, can't help it

>>5913568

sure you can, you are a fucking man. act like it.

When you mention a lentil dish you enjoy or have made, and they presume you are vegetarian

>>5913574
You don't get to tell me what to do, only she does :^)

This relationship is based entirely on codependency but fuck it, I get to cuddle with a qt.

>>5913586

You know, because cuddling is more important that mutual respect, compassion, and understanding.

>>5913597
We're both pathetic people, I get it.

>/ck/ - Pussywhipped

You want to put up with this shit for the next 40 years? It'll only get worse, give an inch etc and then they'll cheat on you because you're a pushover

>>5913602
She knows that if she cheats I'll kill the both of them.

>>5913604

Good, you at least have a partial spine. Now tell her if she is going to complain about what you make her, she can make her own food.

>>5913487
>tuna salad
>honey
>pecans
The fuck?
The fuck.

>>5913413
>>5913426
Usually, if there's a third one, someone goes by some sort of a nickname or it's only Junior/Senior when two are around. If all three are, you wing it.

A lot of people just do nicknames, though. I have a friend who's grandfather is "Edward", father is "Ed" and brother is "Eddy". My great grandfather was called "Dr. Sterling" by non-relatives, while his son was just "Sterling". A guy I work with is named "Robert", his father is "Bob" and his son is "Buddy".

So on, so forth.

>>5913681
Or, to add - the third one is sometimes called "Trip".

>>5912805
How to be a shit son: The thread.
She cleaned my bum for two years and i cant let ANYTHING to slip: OP's life the fucktard years.
I dont understand adults become old and fragile: Op's one way trip to stupidity.

FUCK YOU op.
I hope you poor mum dies in their sleep so she doesnt have to keep putting up with your faggotry.

>>5912945
You know you let this shit happened right?
Its like, faggot she needs a partner, not a fucking rug she can step on you pussy faggot piece of shit.
Also "my moomy gives her shit".
Candy ass sorry excuse of a "man" get you shit together.
Pic related is you.

>Nobeanfags ruining another thread
>/soc/ and /b/ faggots ruining another thread

Seriously?

>>5913124
>>5913300
>>5913335
I do this as well. It really turns me on even if it doesn't work.

Although I do get anal every once in awhile.

>>5913709
>Not enjoying sodomy
>In the great year of 1007*2

>>5913268
Are you telling him to check his privilege? 'Cause it sounds like you're telling him to check his privilege.

>>5913709

>>5912898
I could see that with a cubed beef chili. But with ground beef the beans completely compliment it.

>>5912985
Then fucking dump those friends

>>5913709

Entire point of a relationship is the partnership, not to try and dominate the other person. Yeah, I do all the cooking, and that does occasionally annoy me, but she does all the cleaning, laundry, takes out the trash, and she sucks my dick. Really not a bad trade-off.

>>5913268

Fucking backwards argument, m8. Can nobody in a developed nation complain because of how much better off they have it than other people in the world?

Also, just pay for it if you're that bitter. Not sure what kind of trash rat you are to not be able to find love, but money works regardless.

>>5912799

This is totally the face of a sane human.

>>5913709
>OP

>>5913280
Rape.

>>5913268
>No woman ever touched my dick, when it happens I will put up with every kind of shit she throws at me, just because I get my dick wet every once in a while.
Believe me, sex isn't that much of a deal. It's premium fapping, not more. Todays woman are barely capable of loving anything apart from themselves, so that doesn't work out either.

>>5913782
>230 dollars for that
Shit, I wish I could charge people that for my advice.

>>5912868
many professional bakers use boxed mixes. it's one of the only packaged products that you'll find where 99% of people say is as good or better than from scratch. your parents love you, even if they aren't master bakers

>>5913681
My grandfather had an ingenious method for this. His name was Robert, middle name Allen. He named his son Robert and since his own middle initial was "A" he gave his son the middle initial "B."

But that was all he gave him. "B" was it, there was no name, my uncle is Robert B, just Robert B.

>People mindlessly defending the family members because 'muh blood muh family'

You dont care about someone unless youre willing to help them improve and avoid mistakes. You dont help someone by telling them theyre great when they are not.

>>5914723
Also just because someone did something for you to be nice (or under legal obligation such as parents) doesn't mean you should feel obligated to help them back. If someone gives you a cake you still have every right to complain if its bad.

>Y-youre a terrible person to be around meme

Nope, I have plenty of friends who enjoy my company. If your friends and family get brutally butthurt over criticism you need new friends.

>>5912961
>>5912956

There's a reason she is divorced and we don't always want to go see her m8's

You can't treat people however you want through their entire child/adulthood then expect them to suddenly forget everything.

>>5913782
>its as easy as untap/upkeep/draw!

>>5914723

this. Family are only family if they act like it

>>5912799
Mine is an opposite feel.

>bad falling out with parents, forced to move out on short notice
>haven't spoken in over six months
>feel kinda crappy, decide to make chicken soup
>both parents are good cooks and know how to make delish chicken soup, it's kind of a Sunday meal where we're from
>it's rich and tasty and I like it with tons of noodles and carrots and shredded meat
>make the soup
>it tastes so bland
>like there's an extra dimension of flavour it's missing, and it makes me homesick as fuck
>what the fuck did I fuck up
>at least SO likes the soup

>>5915311
>SO
>using this abbreviation unironically
Please tell me you're not doing it right now.

>>5915352
Because I'd like to avoid cries of "faggot" and "tits" when I say the word husband.

If this gets you so anally bothered, I'd open to suggestions for another neutral term I can happily use without twisting your panties.

>>5912799
>his face was like melting off
mfwlmo

>>5915359
>I'd open to suggestions for another neutral term
lover
I'd use the term "lover" (if I had one ;_; )

>>5915359
>be on 4chans
>everyone's a faggot on 4chan, especially OP
>doesn't want to be a faggot
I deduce that you are a grill

>19 year old moi
>Finally get to make Thanksgiving dinner; decide to go all out
>Use crazy Lazy Fat half sister's kitchen, as nobody there cooks
>Their other option is essentially Hungry Man meals
>Excited as hell, spend two weeks making budgets, timetables, and lists, because autism
>Never had Thanksgiving with these people
>Ask around for requests, favorite dishes, etc.
>Nephews are grateful for home cooked meal, very few requests
>Half sister sees my menu
>"Anon, I don't like lumpy mashed potatoes or skins. Just use boxed potatoes instead."
>"Anon, you have to use a Butterball turkey. It's my favorite. What's brining? I don't care. I want Butterball."
>"Anon, I'm going to need my own pumpkin pie."
>"Anon, you can't put onion in the dressing. I don't like it."
>"Anon, you can't use giblets in the gravy. I won't eat it."

>Make reasonable accommodations for picky eaters
>Big day comes
>"Anon, my blood sugar's low, hurry up!"
>Consider serving her raw turkey to make a point
>Nope, it goes against all I believe
>Placate her with various appetizers

>Dinner is a success, I'm proud, go me
>Wait
>Half sister is displeased
>"Anon, what's wrong with these green beans?"
>She's apparently never had a fresh one
>"Anon, I want the rest of the breast meat. Make sure everyone else only eats the dark meat."
>The bird is thirty goddamn pounds
>"Oh, and the wings. Save me the wings too."
>"Make sure nobody gets seconds on the mashed potatoes, either. I want them for later."
>Nope
>Her passive aggression activates, much in the style of almonds
>"Anon, Vicious Ankle-Biter is hungry. Get him a plate of turkey. He'll need gravy too."
>Walk away for smoke break and a stiff drink.
>Hear half sister call from the bedroom:
>I'm ready for my pie now!"


To be honest, I expected worse.

>>5915852
>Hear half sister call from the bedroom:
>I'm ready for my pie now!"

>>5915852
...l-lewd ending

>>5915852
>my blood sugar's low
i hate this, it's just fat people making "i'm hungry" sound like a medical emergency.

it's funny because since they're fat, they could go longer without eating.

>>5915887

Pretty much.
She'd use low blood sugar as an excuse for all kinds of things. I've seen her make scenes in public, getting right pissed over not getting her way, then blaming it on her "low blood sugar".
Whether as an excuse to scream at everyone without consequence or a reason why I needed to get in the kitchen and make her some food right NOW, there's no arguing with crazy people.

>>5912799

>In-law asks for a personal recipe.
>Gladly write it down and give her the paper.
>Next day find paper taped to my door with "corrections" written all over it in red ink.

>>5915311
>the secret ingredient was love

>>5913782
>Sacraments
The shit hole of the northern california

>>5912997
>trailer person
>doesn't understand sexuality

You don't seem like the kind of person that should have friends.

>>5915896
I knew a skinny dude like this. He would eat a tiny amount at a time and then get in a really bad mood if he went more than a few hours without eating. "Sorry, my blood sugar's getting low".

>>5913268
Vagina worshiping betamax detected, enjoy your permavirgin life. Be sure to defend M'ladys on the internet daily while jerking it.

>>5913384

>Anon I saw your pan was beginning to boil so I turned the heat down!

>>5913124
start casually by putting your thumb a bit up her ass when she orgasms, then increase that every so often until she practically asks you to ram it up her pooper

>>5913376
>bawww my mother is ruining my life bawwww

stop behaving like a little kid and accept responsibility for your own failure, in this case failure to accept that you have let your mother ruin your life

>>5913413
Then that son is called Johnnyboy for life

>>5913376
>it was actually my mother who was ruining my life.

Even if this is the case and you're not just blaming your shitty inadequacies on someone else and your mother actually is a cunt, that doens't mean the experience is universal.

Also, your mom's probably on momChan posting shit about what a fucking cunt her son is and how she wishes she'd had the abortion after all instead of only going halfway and ending up with a mutant retard melonhead.

Most of the time it's just teenagers going AWWWWWWWW MOOOOOOOOOM!

>>5915911
>>Next day find paper taped to my door with "corrections" written all over it in red ink

Because you cook perfectly every time? Your recipe was probably shitty. I bet you gave her some stupid vertical you got here.

>>5916087

That Line of thinking is what gave me no self confidence, even though you are just shitposting, when you blame yourself for the actions of others you arent responsible for, yet alone a person who was meant to have a guardian role during the start of your life, you lose the ability to respect yourself.

>>5913376
Yeah it's fucked up. My family didn't give a shit about me while I lived at home with them. But if I ever complain about it, I'll have 200 baboons screaming into my ear how ungrateful I am and I should be thankful for them "taking care" of me. Fuck that noise.

>>5916133

>abloo bloo bloo my family are responsible for my shitty life because I have no agency and I'm shit.

>>5916132
I wasn't just shitposting. My father beat the crap out of me at every turn and opportunity, he finally succumbed to brain cancer last year and that one's been undiagnosed for a long time.

>>5916141
>My father beat the crap out of me at every turn and opportunity

I bet you deserved it. Half the kids I see today would be better if they'd had a good beating when they were younger.

>>5916087

>underage detected

>>5916139
Same old projections, eh? My life was shitty until I took control over it when I moved out.

>>5916144
>asking your father which tool he wants
>he beats you up for it
>suggesting to do something in a simpler and more effective way
>he beats you up for it
>trying to calmly having a discussion with him
>he beats you up for it

yeah I definitely deserved it

>>5916144
Sure... hahaha. Because beating kids doesn't just raise even more violent assholes than the the other assholes. #GoTexas

>>5916144
edgy parenting advice incoming.

>>5916241
>>suggesting to do something in a simpler and more effective way

>getting lippy with your elders
>get beaten
>IMMA CALL CHILD SERVICES NAO

you should hold your fucking tongue.

>>5916280

see >>5916147

nobody on this board is impressed fuckwit.

>>5915852
Are you the anon who starved himself supporting his poor excuse of a human being Lazy Fat sister? Didn't you move out?

>still live with parents
>start to notice abundance of plastic containers
>most of them look like they're from Chinese take-out
>one day after leaving an early shift there's a container of defrosted sauce on the counter
>as I drain the plate and pick up the cheap wonton soup container to place it in the fridge it cracks and explodes spaghetti sauce everywhere

I'm probably going to buy them a gift set of containers for Christmas and secretly throw everything else away, also

>get into argument with dad because I didn't wash his dishes one night
>he made drunk food at 10:30pm and didn't rinse the nasty grease-filled pans
>tells me to fuck off and start buying my own food
>I've been buying and cooking my own food for years
>He and my mom eat the stuff I buy for myself
>He ate my cereal after this argument

>>5916123

Never said I was a perfect cook.
My point's that she was a rude cunt.

>>5916438

Yeah, I did move out, but I'd still see her every now and then. I kept thinking maybe she'd be tolerable for short periods of time. Besides that, I still wanted to see my nephews. I avoided her like the plague for that first year after I bailed, but I hadn't yet cut ties permanently.
I was stupid.

>>5912799
Breaking news op, your mom is getting old and more senile and will soon die before you know it.

>>5916487

>living with your parents
>complaining

You know where the door is, kid.

>>5916535

And my point's that you can't handle criticism because you're an immature cunt.

>>5913376
>I hate how 4chan always sides with the family member that isn't complaining as if they are always not in the wrong and its just misunderstood affection.
I dont know about you but I have only seen this happen in /ck/ and no where else. Did you consider that people on /ck/ are full of normal people who probably regularly browse leddit and tumblr?

>>5916141
he deserves to die for raising a child by beating on him all the time like that

>>5916634
>you're an immature cunt.

Well yeah, that's why I come to 4chan.

>>5912799
Pro tip: most italians do not use much garlic, and it's usually removed.
Only people from the deep south did that, because garlic is a cheap way to add flavour.

>>5916650
>Did you consider that people on /ck/ are full of normal people who probably regularly browse leddit and tumblr?

In all seriousness, it's probably because /ck/ is one of the most concentrated areas of old people on 4chan. There's plenty of 30+ people in /ck/ and they're less likely to side with the kid/leech, and more with the mom with two jobs who is sick of shit.

>>5916686
Preach!

>>5912855

I've noticed /ck/ has a surprising amount of feels.
Food can be a very emotional experience, I guess.

>>5912945
Dude, quit complaining and be a man.

>>5916686
Wait are you implying that the shit food i see here has been "cooked" (as in nuked) by people older than 30?

>>5916958

Yup, recently divorced males who never learned to cook.

>>5916958
LOL XD

>>5916959

Wait, that's not fair. I'm sorry.
It should be assumed that the recently divorced females can't cook either, otherwise why would their husbands have left them?

>>5916625
This.

>>5916975
Because they got fat. Really fat. So fat that hygiene became an issue with their lady parts. Then they get mad, because you have taken care of yourself and now you're banging hotties half her age. And you pull them in easily because of your stable job and higher ratio of disposable income. It's not my fault you couldn't put down the cookies, maybe you should have been the one who took the dog for a walk once in a while. And now you think you're entitled to half my stuff??? How about fuck you!!!

>>5917038

You doing okay, Anon?

>>5917055
Yeah, I'm sorry about that. Thanks for asking though, means alot.

>>5917079

Sure thing, man. It happens.
Keep porkin' those hotties.

>>5915887
>tfw insulin resistance along with all my medication means i never have an appetite or get hungry
>if i go too long without eating, my body pretty much just shuts down until i force myself to eat something i'm not hungry for

>>5917098

I know people with legitimate blood sugar problems, and it sucks. I worked with a skinny Asian guy that had to take his breaks at a specific time, not even five minutes late, no exceptions, otherwise he'd pass out. He'd eat a couple crackers or a piece of fruit, never junk.

I also know people with type 2 'Beetus who give absolutely no fucks and cry "low blood sugar" whenever they want a goddamn cookie or twelve. It's pretty irritating.

But it's usually easy to tell the difference, so that's good, I guess. It's pretty shitty that the whole disorder has developed fatty connotations and is often not taken seriously because fakers think it's the holy grail of snack time.

>>5912985
underage

>>5915918
>>5915311

He probably just didn't use enough salt.

>>5917038
my god that projection...

>>5913276
fortykeks.jpg

>>5913349
Wow that cunt got rekt

>>5913268
You used some trigger phrase that set this virgin off. You better check your privilege dude.

>>5916677

Yeah tell me about it.

She's half italian (born in Australian) yet she's the biggest wannabe.

Can't speak italian yet wants my sisters kids to call her 'nonna'.

We called our grandma 'grandma' and she was fucking 100% italian born in italy.

I love my family and they love me, and I appreciate all they do. The only mildly annoying thing that happened to me was my dad poured an asston of Sriracha on the gourmet mac and cheese I made one time, rendering it inedible.

>>5913601
Self-awareness is an important part of life. I am in the same boat. GF is ridiculous. Just ignore it and the things she wants to be apart of, make her be exceptional.

>>5917697
just his portion or the whole thing?

>>5913602
>/ck/ - Pussywhipped

more like

>/ck/ - Enjoys pegging

>>5918843
>implying there's something wrong with that

>>5916267
>#GoTexas
Hey man, I'm from Texas and my mother beat the shit out of me but I didn't turn out violent
Severe depression and Anxiety disorder, but at least I'm not violent!

>>5917098
sorry anon. i don't have any problem with the people who have legitimate blood sugar problems.

it's the fat people who say they have low blood sugar instead of saying they're hungry that are the problem.

like people who said they can't have gluten even though there was no reason for them to stop eating it since they aren't celiac.

>>5917098
>with all my medication means i never have an appetite or get hungry
>i force myself to eat something i'm not hungry for

>lurks a food & cooking image board

you are either lying or masochistic as fuck

>>5913698

>old and fragile

She's not fucking 80 years old you deadshit.

>ITT: people who still live at home and/or have normal parents

>>5918997
Abnormal parenting is often mistaken for being an abnormal child.

>>5914739
>If someone gives you a cake you still have every right to complain if its bad.

No. If you BUY a cake, you have a right to complain. If it is a gift and you complain, you're a shitty person and don't deserve friends.

>>5919008

And then we wonder why every child seems to have ADHD or something nowadays

>>5916123

Anon has posted this story before, along with a series of other. That family member was the worst. I'm sure someone has a screencap.

>>5916241

>doesn't know when he's being made fun of

>Only dinners we ever had at home were Microwaved Salisbury Steak, Grilled Cheese, Kraft Mac n Cheese, Pasta with Jarred Tomato Sauce, Frozen Pizza, and Chicken with Shake-n-Bake
>Mom wont eat any fruits or vegetables, or meat other than chicken
>Eats 8 pieces of buttered toast for breakfast, a PB sandwich and 3 packs of snack cakes for lunch, one of the above for dinner, and a whole bag of chips for snack
>Only drinks Diet Pepsi
>Wonders why everyone in my family (Me included) had shit health and was obese as fuck
>At least I broke away and sorted my shit out

>>5919545

Shame his dad didn't beat some fucking sense into him.

>>5919577

>>5913544
>she's an adult
no she aint, I like 'em young

>>5919542

I don't have any caps, but I tend to write up my longer stories in Word, so I still have the stories if anyone is interested.

One of my in-laws was quite proud of her cooking skills and overall knowledge of food/nutrition. Nobody would tell her when she was wrong.

She claimed you could get your entire day's worth of fiber from one stick of celery. When I told her that wasn't right, she argued, citing nutrition classes she took in the 1960's.

She was incredibly proud of her pumpkin pie. It had a visible layer of lard over the top, like congealed bacon grease. So as not to hurt her feelings, we tried the pie, taking care to avoid the fat on top. I don't know what she did to this pie, but I can tell you what she didn't do. She didn't puree the pumpkin, leaving the pie with the stringy, clumpy texture of Jack-o-lantern guts. The thing tasted of cloves and despair.

She did not drain the grease from anything she made, nor did she cook it down as I've seen people do on this board. She just let it swim. I have a cast-iron stomach, but her food would regularly make us sick.

She found out I was a big fan of baking and tried to give me unsolicited advice. When she made a cake, it was always from a box. That's fine, I guess. But she would always make the frosting from scratch. It was equal parts vegetable shortening and powdered sugar with food coloring thrown in.

When I was pregnant, she tried to slip castor oil (reputed to kick-start labor, though that's likely an old wives tale) in my food. She would harass me daily, literally just screaming "CASTOR OIL" whenever she saw/heard me around. I told her no, so she tried to dose me.

She once asked me for one of my personal recipes. I happily wrote it down and gave her the paper. The next day, the copy I had given her was taped to our door. With changes written in red ink. She "corrected" my recipe for me.

>>5919941

When I would, at her request, cook or bake something for her to take to an event (church function, family reunion, etc.), she would take credit when people raved about the food.
In-law liked to be around people who were easy to control and were too dumb, ignorant, or polite to question her. So there was this couple that were both mentally deficient. The guy had a whole host of physical and mental disorders, and the girl had been beaten in the head with a hammer when she was four. They were both unable to work, so they got disability checks and all that. It's really a wonder they weren't in special care homes. In-law kept them around to enhance her epic martyrdom and validate her usefulness. She would regularly "help" them, especially with food.

She would go through our garbage and save things to give to them. If we threw out half a gallon of milk that was just about to go chunky, she would fish it out of the trash a day later to give to them. She once tried to take them yogurt that was months past expiration (you know, the yogurt that gets pushed to the back of the fridge and forgotten). I'm not particularly concerned with expiration dates, as I just go by how the food looks and smells. But I know better than to eat something that has obviously gone off, whereas this mostly unsupervised couple did not. We weren't always able to catch these shenanigans in time, leading the couple to get sick often, which considering the guy's frailty, is a big deal. She almost got him killed once after the doctor put him on a specific liquid diet and she convinced him to break it because she knew better.

>>5919946

One time I wanted to try my hand at making cannoli. I didn't have the forms (the little rods you wrap the cookie around while you fry them), but during my research I came across a source that said dried manicotti shells work in a pinch as long as they are well oiled. It actually worked pretty well, all things considered. Of course, when I was all finished I threw the shells away. They were burnt up, oily little wrecks at that point, which cost me a total of two dollars. Later that day In-law said she was making manicotti for her church group. I knew immediately what happened. She saw the sad little noodles buried in the trash, dug them out, rinsed them off, and was in the process of using them. The church group regularly got fed ingredients harvested from the trash and never knew it.

She also attempted to feed my newborn daughter peanut butter cheesecake when I wasn't looking. As far as food went, she knew better than everyone else, apparently.


I know some of my gripes are petty, but she really was an awful person in general. I just don't want to shit up the board with non food related content.

>>5919941
>>5919946
>>5919948

Grow some girl balls and blow the cunt the fuck out

Or taddle on her to the church

>"CHI-POL-TEE"

>>5919972

I haven't seen her in years and refuse to associate with her now.

I'd call her on her shit when it got ridiculous and blew up on her once or twice. For the most part she didn't fuck with me directly because I didn't tolerate it. So it's not like I was a total beta about it. I just chose my battles and learned to laugh at her.
I also learned not to eat her cooking. Especially after learning the woman has Munchausen by proxy. I'm not risking getting poisoned for shit-tier food.

>Family friend is visiting.
>"Oh, yeah, all we have in the house is diet soda. Dad's on a low-carb diet."
>"What the hell are you talking about? Diet soda has tons of carbs in it!"
>"Um...no? No it doesn't."
>"Well it's carbonated, isn't it?"
>Argue for five minutes, because I'm an idiot and she's retarded.

>>5919941
I feel your pain. I hyad an aunt and uncle. He was an army cook, war 2, korea, nam doeble purple hearts and a bronze and sliver star. when he died, they chopered in pall bearers from Bragg. pretty good for a six stripe cook)I guess the point is his wife could not cook for shit. she didnot have to. he loved her, and she loved him. but you could tell the difference, food wise. he died, she died a year later My auant was great, and being an army wife, was a Godly woman, awonderful person, but she could not cook for shit. sobeit.

>>5920064

I'd feel bad for the woman if she weren't so godawful in general. For a while we blamed it on age, but since meeting her daughter, I've learned this shitty behavior is nothing new.

From what I'm told though, In-law used to be a decent cook. I'm not sure if I can trust the source though, since Arkansas food standards, in my experience, are kind of low.

When I first moved there I was ready for some down home southern cooking, but everything was just bad or weird. It was like some culinary twilight zone. Was I missing something? I don't want to hate the state, but I hate the fucking state.

I was a cook in the Army, during the korean war. when and some of the privates came home with a crate of old prime rib, they told me that if i seasoned it well enough, it would be fine.
I spent the entire night cooking, and when i tried to serve it, the entire platoon came down with food poisoning
One of the kids went home with a hole in his stomach

>>5920151
>Arkansas
The only thing this state is know for it crippling depression era poverty. That's it.

>>5920286

Is it? I grew up in the southwest and never gave much thought to Arkansas at all before moving there.

There's really no saving grace for the state from what I saw, but I wasn't there long. I mean, there's green stuff, which we don't get much of here, but that's a short lived novelty.

Their idea of ethnic food was funny. We went to In-law's favorite "authentic Mexican" restaurant once. It was basically a sit-down Taco Bell where the staff pronounced "tortilla", "tor-TILL-a". To be fair though, it was a small town full of old white people.

>>5920286
Oh and football.
>>5920163
Also /ck/ has to be the most diverse board on a website that used to have a board dedicated to soft core drawings of children.

>>5920309
>Also /ck/ has to be the most diverse board on a website that used to have a board dedicated to soft core drawings of children.

I was just thinking that. A Korean war vet in my /ck/? Crazy.

>>5912868
>pre-mixed flour, baking soda, sugar, and salt is so much worse than mixing the dry ingredients yourself

You're an ungrateful autistic fuck

>>5912898
>hurr beans r evil
>hurr only people from my state know how to BBQ
>hurr I've never had good pizza outside of NYC

Claiming that there's only one acceptable way to make certain foods is autistic as fuck and needs to stop.

>>5920553
no, making two or three or dozens of different things and calling them all by the same name is autistic and needs to stop

>>5915887
tfw actual type 1

tfw type 2 fuckwits creating a severely negative stereotype

>>5920553
you claiming that there's only one acceptable way to past on /ck/ is autistic as fuck and needs to stop

>>5920151
>>5920286

It depends on where you were. Arkansas isn't NJ or MA, it's big enough that there are regional differences. Ozark cooking is not like Delta cooking and a few towns are big/cosmopolitan enough that there's legitimately edible ethnic cuisine, rarely really good but often decent. Frankly, northwest Arkansas is a hub of Latin American food, the immigrant labor at the big chicken processing plants there has spawned a lot of great restaurants.

You have to find the right places and that usually means not going to the places the churchies are all going to. They love flavorless bullshit that reminds them of the crap their mothers cooked for them. But there are hidden gems, some really superb bbq, some of the best catfish and hushpuppies in the South, wonderful local venison and goat and the very best biscuits & gravy I have ever had.

Sure, Arkansas is easy to make fun of. There are a lot of ignorant, uneducated people who cling to their faith and their guns and love green bean casserole made from canned green beans, canned mushroom soup and canned fried onion strings. But there are people who care about food and care about making it right so you can take your own ignorance and stuff a turkey with it.

>>5920558
That's the exact opposite of something being autistic.

>live with fat ass roommate who never cleans up after himself
>has had a lap band for eight years but is still fat; constantly doing fad diets like juicing or no carb
>socially stunted, might have assburgers
>no common sense
>is cheap and rarely cooks for himself something that isn't frozen or a slab of meat
>likes to use my high quality ingredients and clean pans and plates

For example
>made fried chicken last week
>was absolutely delicious, offered roommate some
>"Tempting but no anon I'm on no carb."
>I can tell he's jelly as shit
>sneaks a piece later during a midnight snack raid
>leave the vat of frying oil on the stove to clean up later; would have been good for another fry

>go out of town the next day
>return to the apartment
>vaguely smokey, fire alarm is torn off the wall and broken, all windows open
>ohshit.jpg
>see stove range
>good thing we have electric stove because grease spatters everywhere
>walls discolored
>roommate hears me come home and explains what happened
>tried to make fried chicken and failed
>see the vat of frying oil is untouched
>"So what did you fry with?"
>"Oh I used your extra virgin olive oil anon."
>shows me the expensive bottle of my California extra virgin
>only about five tablespoons left of the full bottle I had...
>this dumb fucker seriously trying to fry with extra virgin to be "healthy"
>"I'll replace the olive oil for you anon."
>I still have to clean the stove and do the burnt dishes as usual because he leaves shit like that for days
>five days later he returns with a plastic jug of "olive oil"
>cheapest grocery store brand he could find
>the color is darker
>the taste is rancid and nothing like the sweetness of my olive oil
>probably fake and completely unpalatable

He's also incapable of doing dishes properly. I finally had a talk with him about doing dishes, but when he does do them there's a layer of grease because he doesn't wash with enough soap or warm water.

>>5920632
>roommate makes a pound of bacon for himself last night at 1am
>go to inspect the kitchen this morning to see the damage
>he uses kraft single cheeses and leaves the wrappers scattered on the stove top and floor
>grease spatters and melted cheese on the stove top as per usual
>see "clean" dishes
>"Oh well at least he did his dish-"
>notice layer of grease on the bottoms of all my plates
>he literally only scrubbed off the tops of them with cold water
>had to redo them
>went outside for fresh air
>he's been dumping his hot cooking grease outside onto the lawn in front of our porch
>the grass looks sad

>go back upstairs
>roommate left his door open
>it reeks, clothes everywhere, hasn't been vacuumed in two months
>my plates are scattered in his room
>my GOOD plates
>go to grab one of my rice bowls
>there's a rotten apple decaying in it
>notice another plate
>it's the leftover chicken carcass that he tried to fry last week...
>eventually he'll do a "dish dump" and take the 10 items of dishes he has out of his room and plop them into the sink
>typically expects me to get so fed up with them being there that I'll do them

Usually now if I find any food scraps/wrappers that he's been too lazy to clean I toss it in his room. He doesn't notice, since it's so filthy and smelly in there.
I did the same thing with his shaving stubble that he left all over the bathroom.

>>5920604
>so you can take your own ignorance and stuff a turkey with it.

I legitimately lol'd. Thank you, Anon.

I lived in in a central north area of the state and didn't get to explore much outside that area. I'm thinking it was just the town I lived in or the people I was surrounded by that left me underwhelmed. I had absolutely no idea there was good Latin American food within a hundred miles of us, since I'd never once seen a single non-white person in town outside of a Chinese buffet.

You make me wish I'd had more opportunity to explore. So I'm sorry if I sounded ignorant. I really did want to know if I was missing something and let my overall negative experience taint the question.

>>5920686
No worries, sounds like you were in or near Huntsville and that is the ass end the Ozarks, I feel legitimately sorry for you. My family owns land an hour or so south of that, in Newton county, which is no center of haute cuisine but there are great farms in those hills and you can get great ingredients, domesticated and wild, so it's not the culinary wasteland that city folks often assume.

There are some horrible people in Arkansas so I don't blame you for their faults. I grew up there and had many a meal composed of utter crap with crap sauce and a side of shit. But it's not all crap. If you do get the "chance" to NW Arkansas check Yelp or some similar site for reviews and find a nice little taqueria to try out. Just try to avoid the stench of chicken murder that pervades the entire area north of Fayetteville.

>too bad the restaurant in the pic is closed, they were based