/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>5884033
That's how I eat it too. Cracker overload ftw

>>5884033

I like roasted vegetable crackers with my soup. Or crusty bread that I can use to sop up some broth.

I dunno. My brother doesn't like to eat "loose" ground beef. Like, he'll eat it formed into meatballs or burgers, but will not eat chili or tacos.

That looks fucking disgusting, OP

I hate campbell's soups

>>5884074

>>5884090
I'd probably eat it.

>>5884098

Throw some onions and some kind of sauce (probably bbq; it just looks so dry) on it and I'd drunkenly shove it in my maw too.

>Food horrors
Don't go to church gathering
>Tasteless pasta salad
>Mashed potatoes covered in fucking cornflakes
>Weird ass macaroni casserole covered in tomato sauce and burnt cheese
>Mystery gelatin
>Shit "cakes" that taste like nothing but coolwhip

>>5884142

This anon speaks the truth.

>>5884142
>Mystery gelatin

>>5884145

>>5884090
I can't stand getting my fucking fingers dirty. It doesn't matter if I adore the flavor. I just always feel like I've made a pig of myself if handwashing somehow doesn't eradicate the shame.

>>5884142
Down here in the south church gatherings have amazing food. Especially at homecomings.

>>5884142
>Mashed potatoes covered in fucking cornflakes

I know a guy who drains out the soup in the sink and just eats the solids, minestrone.. beef stew soup... etc

I like to get a bowl of soup with crackers on the side and sprinkle fresh crackers with every bite so they stay crunchy.

>>5884181
I'm in California. The best thing there was the Little Caesars pizza and the lentils some Ethiopians brought

>>5884185
I thought it was coconut at first. This picture sums up my reaction when I found out it wasn't

>>5884185
It finally happened. Someone took Funeral Potatoes, the lowest of low class shitty white-bread cooking and found a way to make them even shittier and white-trashier.

I'm so sorry Anon. I'm so sorry.

>>5884198
oh man we have all kinds of stuff, bbq, burgers, fried chicken, delicious casseroles, cakes, pies, its fucking awesome. Plus theres usually music (mostly bluegrass) horseshoes and things like that

>>5884142
>my cousin always took me to her church's monthly game night
>potluck theme switched between Mexican, Chinese, German, etc.
>decent cooks, always something good
>amazing baked goods from the elderly ladies who attended mass
First place I'd ever had a German chocolate brownie. Great fun.

>>5884202
>its fucking awesome
>church
>fucking awesome

>>5884213
Im not even christian and I still go, shits fun

>>5884181
Say what you will about the south, but there's some amazing food there. Best meal in my life I had in Fort Worth, Texas.

>>5884213
Church chicks can be firecrackers in bed, m8

>>5884213
Look at me and all my teenage angst!

>>5884213
in this moment u r euphoric

my friend once said he refuses to eat banana's from the peel because it "looks gay."

Good friend, but shit.

>>5884224
>implying others can't

>few months ago
>just moved in to new apartment with some friends
>parents gave me like 10 pounds of ground beef to cook with
>few days later, roommates are hungry, decide to make something
>decide to make a meatloaf since its easy
>they don't want to make anything, they just want to brown the beef and eat it
>mfw I had to argue for about half an hour to get them not to eat straight ground beef
my family loves to cook, i couldn't even fathom that there were people out there who didn't teach their children how to cook before letting them go off on their own.

>>5884232
I love to cook too, but when I was super poor I'd end up doing that some time

>>5884237
I do understand that now, but at the time, it had never occurred to me that people would consider that, i thought they were joking with me at first.

>>5884232
I love ground beef, if the quality is good it can be amazing.
Maybe it's for the childhood memories, my grandman used to feed me sauted ground beef when I was little and came home from kindergarden. It's one of my earlier memories.

Shit now I want some ground beef.

Anyway some children are just not interested in cooking, some aren't even AFTER they leave home.

>>5884252
>grandman
self-loled. Of course it was my grandma.

>>5884252
I suppose the silver lining though is that every meal is always something i like, considering im the one making it. gets expensive quick however.

i think my concern weren't really that they only wanted that, but that they seemed to think it that was a normal meal. i dunno, i guess i just had a really privileged upbringing. we weren't rich, but compared to my friends, it certainly seemed that way.

>>5884275
>gets expensive quick however.
rule is, everyone who eats shares meal expenses. If you always eat together it shouldn't be difficult.

I mean I too used to cook for my roomates at my expenses on some occasions, but never let it become the norm.

Anyway I guess your priviledge was probably having a food culture taught to you as a kid. That really helps shape up your culinary habits as you grow up.

>>5884232
>live in uni flat
>canadian friend
>asked me how to cook ground beef "like the other day" because he wanted to eat taco
>it's literally just browned ground beef plus garlic

>>5884090
This looks so messy

My girlfriend destroys chili.

>handful of shredded cheese. Like a half cup
>7-10 saltine crackers, crushed
>Mix it all up until it's a goopy mess.

She had the nerve to complain about my last batch of chili. When I pointed out to her that she just dumps cheese and crackers into it, she got mad and threw the whole batch down the drain.

>>5884176
Eat it with a fork.

>>5884232

I agree with you, but I must say that I like to take the grass-fed beef we slaughter on our farm and eat chunks medium-rare of it with just salt while I'm browning it for other purposes. It has an amazing pure beef taste.

>>5885750
The whole batch? I hope she reimbursed you, Anon. I'd lose my shit, Even if it was just chili.

Time + money

>>5885750
>pouring chili down the drain

That's really bad for your plumbing.

>>5885750
Dump that shit.

>>5885750
>muh chili

Why are chilifags so thin skinned and whinny and noisy? Are they really the worst little birchy sack of shit of the world or what? I swear it always come down to that fucking prison dogfood

>>5884142
>Not being the dark night that your church needs, and making awesome food for everyone
Christ. Faggot. I have fond memories of making buffalo chicken dip, and brownies from scratch that's miles better then most people's.

They thought that I was a fucking wizard because at times I've made bbq sause from scratch and I've made pita chips from pita bread.

>>5884142

>Food gathering in South Carolina
>Papa John's pizzas and Publix fried chicken on every table
>Wal-Mart cookies
>11 different salads all mayo-based, all of them unappetizing
>Table full of cheesy things that shouldn't have cheese on them
>The cocktail weenies are okay though

>>5887278
>Wal-Mart cookies
I hope you mean these beasts

>>5884074
This is honestly one of the strangest things I've ever heard.

As for my picky eater encounters, I have a friend who doesn't like "messy" food which appears to encompass pretty much all of tex-mex and any curries, though strangely does not include BBQ or pasta and sauce.

>>5885803
the best part is chili is a cowboy food meant to have whatever you can find thrown in it. This purist notion of chilis and meat only is retarded. Fresh meat was a luxury and even when they had meat they still added whatever filler they could find for a more filling meal.

>>5884211
It's shit like this that I wish I could go to places like that.

Fortunately, my family are Buddhists and we go to the Buddhist temple every so often. So much good vegetarian food and I'm not even vegetarian.

>>5884231
Yeah, but they're easier to trick. They believe in a desert sky-wizard, after all

I don't eat the chicken in Cambell's chicken noodle soup

>>5884231
Slutty bitches do things because it's what they think is normal.

Church girls do it because of repressed sexuality. There's a certain desperate need there that a slut can never imitate.

And to keep it food-based, I know a guy who straight out refuses to eat flat-bread. When I pointed out tortillas could be considered flat-bread he gave me an angry look and said if I ruined Taco Bell for him he'd kick me in the balls.

I'm not that picky
But I can't stand mushrooms
Only time I ate mushrooms and didn't want to jump out a window was when someone paid for a swiss and mushroom burger

>>5887301

Sugar cookies in abundance make my poop turn whichever color frosting I've eaten the most of.

>>5884344
>taco meat
>literally ground beef plus garlic
your tacos suck, m8

>>5884033
yah probs. whenever I date girls and go to expensive restaurants with their parents (like you know, 25-35 expensive without wine, not 100-400 those are goat) I just know the food is going to be awful and overpriced, and it always is. White upper-middle class americans are just always completely retarded. Has to be that combo too.
"Oh anon how was the food?"
Ugh
When everything I can eat in a fish market in mexico city costs like 100 pesos and tastes amazing compared to that food you know there's a problem in the world that can probably never be solved *tips sombrero*

And then when I take them out and recommend something they always order something different "Oh anon, your food tastes really good, this is just ok" yah I know right, that's why I didn't order it. I don't know how people that make the wrong decision all the time get so much money

>>5884145
WOW
He's a p/dece writer, that was an ok read. Anon if you are here
>>5844783
doing that so I can read what the other anon said to him, internet too bad to do archive shit right now.

>>5887646
How many fucking cookies is that, how can you even eat more than like two at a time and that's being fucking generous anon those things are disgusting en masse.

>>5884181
This man speaks the truth. Food made from scratch and made with love.

>>5887806

Thank you, kind anon. Good stories come from shitty experiences, you know?

>be me, 20
>sister is 22
>dad is 45
The two of them eat nothing but shit. They don't like the taste of water or any other drink but soda, sister doesn't eat at places that aren't 'normal' aka chains, still takes flinstones gummi vitamins because she hates eating real food, won't eat fruit, nuts, vegetables, or pasta with sauce, just butter. Dad eats well-done steak with ketchup, chicken fingers and fries, and pepsi. Went out to dinner with them to a decent Italian place the other night. Sister got grilled cheese on white bread with American, Dad got chicken tenders and fries.

>Football weekend in college, everybody grilling
>Friends invite me over, they're grilling steak
>Say they've marinated them overnight
>Excited for some yummy steak
>My friend's roommate cooks them on grill outside
>Comes inside after some time
>"Sorry it took so long, there was still a little bit of pink left in some of them"
> :(

>live in europe
>don't know any foodhorrorstories
fml

>>5884033
why don't you skip the veggies and make potato soup or sumthin and see if they'll eat that

>>5884232
>arguing about what to make with YOUR food

>>5887628
I couldn't stand the texture, so I trained myself. I started by eating oriental ramen, then slowly worked myself into situations where I'd be eating small pieces here and there. I'm at a point now where I can eat it in nearly any instance. I'm happy now that my food boundaries have been expanded. I'm working on raw tomatoes now!

If you want to gain the ability to eat mushrooms, I recommend trying my method. If not then I apologize for wasting your time.

>>5888522
most fresh tomatoes are total shit-tier, anyway. you can't pick them too early and you can't refrigerate them.

>>5887278
>implying that publix fried chicken isn't good
>implying that papa johns pizza isn't good when its free
>implying frosted sugar cookies aren't amazing regardless of who made them

>>5888522
fres tomatoes just sliced with salt and pepper or diced in cottage cheese

>>5887837

The whole box. Especially when there are green/blue ones. My poo has a great color. It's magical.

>>5888376

Oh god, steak with my family, every time. I have to beg them to leave one 'undercooked' for me

>>5888522
Blt.
> win every time.

>>5888774
This problem must be universal because my parents are the exact same way. I like mine severely underdone though.

>Exhibit a

>>5889127
>>5888774

Just take over the BBQ like I did! Take yours off and it gets ample resting time while the other ones cook to death.

>>5887940
>grilled cheese on white bread with American
Was this seriously on the menu?
Also, chipping in with my own story, it's not too bad but still.
>mother is vegetarian but still manages to cook awesome meat dishes for the rest of the family as well as vegetarian ones
>little sister recently got into eating healthy, has turned into a really good cook and has managed to not become a smug asshole about it
Meanwhile, my dad turns his nose up at anything they cook that isn't basic shit like meat and potatoes or muh well-done steak. He puts butter on everything, he gets annoyed at me for not putting butter on pasta. Occasionally he'll cook ham and he's so fucking proud of it, but it's awful. He just dumps a load of cider, cloves, and onions into a pot and cooks the ham in there. Shit is disgusting.
The one thing I will say for him, he does a pretty good Christmas dinner.

My sister can't cook for shit.

She's 23. Lives with her boyfriend (who also can't cook), and often just eats taco bell or boxed Mac'n'cheese that she loads with Velveeta.

I remember one time she wanted to make a grilled cheese sandwich when she was in her teens. She buttered some bread, put shredded cheese on the buttered sides if the bread, assembled the monstrosity and put it into a hot dry pan. Needless to say she burnt the shit out off one side and then she tried to salvage it by scraping the burnt side and microwaving the sandwich.

>>5889644
>both parties of the relationship can't cook

oh, boy

that relationship is going to last forever, i tell you hawhat.

>>5889644
>microwaving the sandwich
A guy in my college did this recently. He never had a microwave until this year and for some reason thought it could just do anything so he tried to toast a sandwich in it. He also tried to microwave a frozen pizza and ended up getting sick.

Go to best mates apartment, generally dishevelled, generally eats digestive biscuits.
I could smell something somewhat sweet and pungent being cooked as I let myself in. I find him in the kitchen with coleslaw in the pan, stirring it.
Not just a dabbing of it, but half of the medium pan was filled with boiling coleslaw.

I interject in horror. He suggests I'm an idiot of this world for not knowing how to prepare conventional food in a modern way.

I was flummoxed... still am..is it me that is absurd??

>>5887661
>implying I have an inkling of idea regarding spic food
My 'murican friend did the shopping
I'm from SE Asia m8

>>5889828
why so racist, rice disk?

>>5889833
Is America a race?

>>5884033
That shit looks disgusting as fuck, what is wrong with americans.

>>5884074
I can kind of understand that. It tends to get overcooked when its like taco level broken down.

Still good, but can be a bit rubbery.

It's not so much food horror but one of my new housemates decided to heat up marinara sauce in my cast iron skillet before leaving the burnt on remains to 'soak' in fucking bleach. It's completely screwed (as in, rust flaking off the surface) and I was planning to have steak tomorrow. Apparently, I should have labelled it as mine.

>>5889644
Are you me? My sister is 22 and lives with her boyfriend (who also cant cook) and all she fucking eats is mcdonalds meals and those instant noodles.

She doesnt even drink water by itself, she has to add in 2 or 3 huge scoops of that fucking powdered sugary iced tea shit

>>5888545
Get tomatoes on the vine, as long as their still attached the ripening process continues, once you separate them from the vine they sort of go into a stasis.

>>5889857
>generalizing an entire country based on one post
>all Americans have the same racial and cultural background and only cook premade shit and certain grilled foods
>If you live in America you don't know how to cook Italian, French, Chinese or any other cuisine

>>5884033
>whining when people cooks you dinner

damn, your friends are spoiled and impolite

>>5890161

Is she a lard ass?

>Eating from a bag of mixed nuts
>Chew down in that inevitable off hazelnut
>Can taste that rotten piece of shit for hours

Why is it always the hazelnuts?!

>>5890503
Hazelnuts are great, though. What are you, some sort of faggot?

>>5890503
Please point out where I said hazelnuts are shit? I love them, but there is always ONE rotten hazelnut in the bags I buy.

>>5890515
Oh, I missed the "off" in your post, my bad. Yeah, rotten hazelnuts are awful, I'm sorry.

>>5884181
the best is when you're in a more liberal part of the south. people actually care about health and making food interesting but it still tastes amazing.

>>5890527
That's ok. I'm just too used to smug shits posting, that I instantly go passive aggressive.

>>5887059
What's buffalo chicken dip?
It sounds... Unpleasant.

>>5890552
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nK8pcEjGTpc

Meh. I'd eat it.

>>5890533

k before food horror the best soup ive ever had was my ex's italian grandmother's bread soup it was THE richest homemade chicken broth with what im assuming sourdough bits because it held its shape, so simple but one of the best things in the universe.

k food horror
I was preparing christmas dinner with a friend
all she ever makes is kraft mac and cheese
we get two small roast beefs
i bring fresh cut veggies and seasoning
we remove packaging and seasoning and
before she sets it atop the veggies
SHE STARTS
STABBING
THE MEAT
WITH A FORK
AND I FROZE
COMPLETELY HORRIFIED

I've never met a picky eater that hasn't been a pleb in every other regard (the arts, intelligence, aesthetics). Anyone else found the same?

>>5890629
I know some really intelligent guys who won't eat anything other than chips and mcnuggets and shit like that, but they mostly have the Assburgers.

>>5889857
I'm American and I don't fucking like my soup like that.

>>5884142
>mom goes to church pot luck
>knows none of the other parents are capable
>has flock of kids
>feels obligated to bring more food cause of us brat
>deviled eggs, and a dasher of smoked paprika for people to use
>dad made potato salad
>bring roast beef
>fresh bread
>other families bring prepackaged cookies
>some shit spinach thing with wilty, and chewy leaves and shitty sauce [awarded gold star for trying]
>pasta salad
>muffins
>store bought potato salad
>let all the other families go first
>all mom and dad's food gone
>nothing else touched
>standing near mom cause I'm a mommas boy
>other families coming up praising parents food
>they "let" our big ass family take their garbage

Such is life on a military base

>>5891270
are you a pacifist now?

>>5891270
dos memories... fuck this was me and my family when i was a kid.

>>5891280
I am not. I go innawoods when I can and I love plinking raifus.
I prefer not to kill and I think war should be avoided, but I understand the need for it.

>>5887544
>refuses to eat flat-bread
>he gave me an angry look and said if I ruined Taco Bell for him he'd kick me in the balls

My brother refuses to eat onions, peppers, tomatoes and mushrooms.

My dad, however is on another level. here's a list of things he won't eat:
Carrots
Gravy
Onions
Peppers
Tomatoes
Mushrooms
Anything even slightly spicy

I've given up cooking for them. They can try to feed their own fucking selves.

Picky eaters should be sentenced to force-feeding. They should be put in a food concentration camp where the only food there is things they hate. ARGH!

>>5892187
What the fuck does your dad survive on? White bread and potatoes?

>>5892187
My brother and dad were picky for the longest. Brother got better and started trying the food I made for myself, now he likes a lot of things but still hates lettuce.

Dad is the same thing though. No carrots, no onions, no peppers or tomatoes or mushrooms or spicy things. He mainly eats quiche, which all he does is bake a pre made pie crust and fill it with beaten eggs, swiss cheese and bacon bits.
Boiled chicken or fried chicken, with ranch dressing.
Baked potatoes (microwaved, actually) with sour cream, cheese and bacon bits.
The only thing he will drink is Coca Cola.


and he's not fat which is weird.

>>5884033
weird, soups need to have a lot of vegetables.

>Brother wants to bring his girlfriend over to my new place for dinner
>Tell him I'll make him steak
>Girlfriend makes mashed potatoes from scratch and also a curry basil sauce from scratch too
>I salts the steaks on both sides and leave them out for like 20 minutes
>Sear them one by one, putting them in the oven after (it was off)
>They come over late
>His girlfriend won't stop whining about the steak not being well-done
>Asks me to microwave it
>Do it because I don't want to be an asshole
>Eat my rare-ass steak and enjoy it
>They leave and take their half-eaten steaks home for the dog

>>5890629
Same.

I think they tend to be extremely rigid in what they can accept so they only go for what they see as safe and normal, which is often crap.

Plus they tend to just be stupid people too.

There were a few in my probably autistic circle of friends back in HS. All of them were awkward Chinese/SE Asian/Indian girls (save for one white one) who were mostly emotionally/socially stunted.

There was a small, borderline autistic girl who would wrap all 5 fingers around a single food item, like a chip or a fry, and eat them one by one, often taking more than one bite to finish. She held her utensils like a child, gripping it with the palm of her hand and had a never ending list of things she didn't like which included about 50% of other foods we would mention in passing, from tomatoes, capsicum, mushrooms, avocados, garlic, beef, pistachios...

The white chick did not eat bread, fruit, nuts, most vegetables, most meat, fish, sushi , or anything somewhat adventurous or exotic. She mostly fed off chocolate, candy, processed foods, potatoes, chicken, probably nutella and mostly bland stuff.

Some other girl didn't eat meat except for chicken, but she also had a thing for avocados, and would bring a half to school to spread on bread probably 3 times a week. That wasn't so bad, but she would joke about her 'Mexican heritage' which stemmed off some in-joke that she held on for too long with the fact that we were in Australia and have possibly no connection or understanding of their culture except an exaggerated bastardised version of what is already fed to us through American media.
Other than that, she and the white chick would not eat meat that had some resemblance to the animal it came from, so no chicken wings, drumsticks, or whole roast birds, only nuggets, breast filets, tenders, sausages, steaks etc.

Teenage girls are fucking awful.

>>5884145

>I don't hate her. I nothing her.

I know this, it's like going through the other end of hating someone into this anti-feelings area.

>>5890620

White trash cheat method for trying to make cheap cuts of meat more tender without having to slow cook it for many hours. It also sucks, cheated meat doesn't stand up to properly slow cooked meat.

>>5892339

Why not just use a blade tenderizer?

Poor people are weird.

>>5892290
>mashed potatoes from scratch
lel its just cooking, smushing and seasoning

regardless, I fucking hate that shit. the only thing worse than shitty eaters is when they turn up late

>mfw I now just put food on the table at the time specified whether people are sitting down or not :^)

>>5892348
If you had money, you wouldn't be buying cheap poor quality cuts that required tenderising.

>>5892290

>serving your guests cold steak that was cooked previously

The essence of cooking is timing, and also not serving filth to your guests. What kind of person serves steak to guests anyway? Wouldn't it be more appropriate to do something a bit special and nice?

>>5892310

Sounds like a group of typical /ck/ posters tbh.

>>5889676
Nothing in these threads get to me unless it's some kid being abused and used and forced to eat shitty food like that one kid that moved in with his half sister.
>I find him in the kitchen with coleslaw in the pan, stirring it.
>coleslaw in the pan, stirring it
>coleslaw in the pan
>stirring it
There is no other option except to kill him

>>5892187
heh, my dad has to drown anything spicy in sour cream or greek yoghurt.

>gf asks me to make some pasta
>make pasta noodles with some jar alfredo sauce
>'noooo anon I wanted just the pasta noodle plain with butter and hot dogs'
>says she eats this shit all the fucking time
>in the time we've lived together I have never seen her make it.
>heat up some broccoli too which she refuses to eat broccoli for some reason
>made a salt and pepper chicken breast for self
>'anon my meal doesn't look as good as yours'

>>5884108
I'd shove it in your mom

>>5885750
She sounds like a crazy cunt i know this because i used to date one i bet she's really controlling too or at least tries to be?

Mom hates pretty much all vegetables. Meat, potatoes, and chocolate are her staples
Boyfriend hates tomatoes, which I use in a lot of dishes. I won't edit my recipes and he can't cook so I guess he'll have to get used to it.

>>5892187
>dad doesn't like gravy

I have bad news for you, Anon. Your dad is not a man, you have two mothers.

>>5887364
I don't like messy food either, I'll eat it, even enjoy it, but I will be fucking disgusted by the mess. If there non-messy alternatives available I'll take them.

>>5884213
I work at a church, its not to bad. They serve dinner once a week as well. The lady who cooks makes some of the best dishes I've ever had. Plus there is good looking women that come.

>>5892358
>>mashed potatoes from scratch
>lel its just cooking, smushing and seasoning
have you ever had boxed mashed potatoes? imagine taking a bunch of dandruff off of someone's head and rehydrating it until it vaguely resembles mashed potatoes
i never had real mashed potatoes until i was about 11 or 12 and i about came from the gloriousness

>>5887059
To be fair, the first time I made barbecue sauce from scratch, I felt like a fucking wizard too.

>white-bread friends beg you to make cultural dish for them
>"anoooon, it's too spicy/weird/exotic for me!!"

why

>>5892591
>she refuses to eat broccoli for some reason
I know so many grown-ass adults who refuse to eat broccoli and it baffles me. I always loved it, even as a kid. Why is it such a controversial vegetable?

>>5884176
>I can't stand getting my fucking fingers dirty.
The best food is eaten with your hands.

>Mom lives entirely off Power Bars and chocolate and Diet Pepsi
>Actually pretty healthy, works out all the time, but hates the work involved in making real food
>She's also vegetarian
>Travels a lot for work, so she's not home half the time
>Dad exclusively eats cereal or yogurt for every meal (it's some kind of weird old white man diet)
>I can barely cook, but I love doing it
>Family loves it whenever I actually step up to make a meal, but leftovers are never eaten
>Always end up throwing shit away because no one will eat it
>"Anon, we'll miss you when you leave for college, since no one will make us real food!"
>MFW

>>5887278
Publix fried chicken is great.

WHat the fuck is it with all these girls not knowing how to cook?
My wife makes 3 course meals from scratch daily.

>>5893088
A lot of moms just don't teach their kids to cook anymore and a lot of girls just don't have the interest to learn themselves. My mom made sure I at least had the basics before I went to college but not everyone's lucky enough to have a mom that gives a shit/isn't a terrible cook.

>>5893089
She taught herself to cook when she lived solo for a couple years. Same shit with me.
We're both better cooks than our moms.

>>5889857
>that non-american obsession with America and Americans

Used to be friends with a girl who would show up to school every day with a nutella/mini-marshmallow sandwich, on white bread. Some days she brought a bottle of Hershey's syrup as well, and would literally drench the bread in it. Apparently her mom thought she would grow out of it if she just let her have it. Five years later she was still eating that same shit every single fucking day. Best part was that she was 10/10 fit supermodel status.

>>5893150
That... I actually kind of want to try it. Minus the syrup, shit's gross.

>>5885750
sounds amerifat

>>5892187
How can someone not eat with peppers onions and mushrooms thats like my staple in everything that is rice or pasta.

>>5888376
>yummy
You deserve a mouthful of broken glass.

>>5893539
I think your edginess cut them well enough by itself, to be honest.

>Sisters birthday
>She wants to go out for Chinese
>Step dad gets into a fight with he server about the place not having tartar sauce, yelling "TAR-TAR....I WANT TAR TAR"
>Mom orders some fried duck shit, proceeds to complain about it not being duck

Not really as picky as much as just stupid, but I figured it counts.

I love cooking dishes my friends are picky about. I can have it all. Just like my penne rigatti with gratinate broccoli.

>>5893049
Ever had over boiled, mushy broccoli? Because that's how my mother made it. I fucking hated broccoli until I had it properly made where it's still slightly crunchy.

>>5895214

>>5894860
Was it their first time at a chinese place? This is the only way that I can grasp someone thinking they would have tartar sauce.

>parents buy cutco knives

help

You know those super pretzel things you can buy in the freezer isle? My sister takes those, slaps a slice of walmart brand american cheese on it, throws it in the microwave, and eats it. She doesn't even wait for the cheese to be even anywhere near slightly melted man.

>>5897806
but... but you can buy good quality bread in the freezer section in walmart... and a half pound of good cheese for $2... why does she do this?

>>5897808
Beats me. I also have a friend who once made her boyfriend a grilled cheese sandwich with mustard and ketchup on it and was baffled he wouldn't eat it...

>>5890629
Very true. I hadn't thought about it until now, but yep - you're right.

>navy
>chicken breasts
>pre-formed burgers
>scrambled eggs
>instant mashed potatoes
>almost everyday
>for eight months

There would be random variety about once a week. It was far from the cooks' fault (conventional carrier's last deployment, repairs and other bullshit killed the budget), and partially due to the availability of meals that corresponded to my work schedule. I did learn how to perfectly season with a combination of Texas Pete's hot sauce, salt & pepper, mustard, and ketchup.

Feels good having a family that eats everything and anything, except my brother because he has problem digesting lactose and wheat. I was sort of pickish when I was a child, but when I moved alone to study in college and started making my own food I started eating more varied food, was anyone else like this too?

>>5884145
>screencap that I made is reposted
I feel so proud...

>>5884145
Haha, I remember that thread. First time on /ck/ in about a year and I come across that gem of a thread.

>>5897855
Yeah I was extremely picky untill I was about 16.

>>5889676
>all those big words
huh?
what?

Oh man I remember this one kid from middle school. Let's call him DG.

>DG's diet consisted mostly of:
>cookie cakes
>sprite
>these things called "orange rolls" his mom would make which were cinnamon rolls with some sort of weird orange flavored icing
>chicken nuggets
>snow cones. I distinctly remember that he always asked for "extra juice"
>buttered noodles

>one time at DG's house
>demands that his mom buy him a cookie cake
>she says no
>he gets super pissed
>starts stomping and demanding cookie cake
>we eventually leave to see his grand parents
>he asks them to buy him a cookie cake but they say no
>he gets very upset and ends up crying while frantically demanding cookie cake
>grand parents decide to buy him a cookie cake

>>5897806

Tell her to dip that pretzel in that Lay's cheese dip stuff in the chip aisle. The thing is though you can't heat the stuff up, but there is Cheez Whiz or a knockoff brand that can be heated.

That reminds me..brb

>>5897885

That was a repost?

>brother is in town for the first time in years
>we decide to go visit my elderly aunt
>upon discovering Facebook, she's been cooking more and more
>"oh! I made you guys these mac'n'cheese cups I found online, here!"
>hands us each one
>it's homemade mac & cheese, cooked in a cupcake pan
>dry as shit, cold, and topped with a shitload of salty panko crumbs
>tfw we both eat more than one and take the rest home because we didn't want her to feel bad
It was so awful tho.

Brother cant eat fries without ketchup
Cant eat any pizza besides dominos
and a bunch of other shit that drives me up the fucking wall

>>5898060

No, the story was original to the thread. The cap is, of course, a repost.

>>5898501

I hate it when people claim they CAN'T eat something when in reality they just WON'T eat it.
Drives me crazy. Especially when they say they're allergic just so they don't have to explain why they don't like onions or whatever.

>>5897885
i was OP of that thread—i put one of my videos in the post just to shamelessly (and subtly) promote it.

little did i know how much fresh, golden content would come about

>>5898988

Well, ulterior motive or not, you set the stage for some pretty good OC.

>>5898969

Ahh, I get it. I read it like you seen it last year. I was in that thread too and thought it might be a pasta I didn't know about.

>be me 23 yrs of age
>family going to disneyland for bday. all good
>late morning of bday "hey lets get poboys at the jazz kitchen before heading to the park"
>family:"no no no anon. we wont go there. its gross. they have a lot fish on their menu. its icky and weird etc"
>end up going elsewhere b/c they wont stop panicking over menu choices


>2 years later. going back to disneyland.
>brother: "im going to jazz kitchen no matter what."
>entire family reluctantly shows up for dinner
>order fried chicken or steaks while pissing themselves
>food comes. shaky bite...
>"OMG ANONS!!! THIS FOOD IS AMAZING!!!! AND NOT ALL OF IT IS FISH!"

holy shit. if they had listened to me before that not every item is seafood they could have had delicious food the first time.

seriously hate it when anyone (mainly family) base an entire cuisine off of one item or practice. my grandparents wont eat any asian food because "they eat cats and dogs there"

>>5900654

your family is silly, fish is delicious.

>>5900665
my family is full of plebs that love diner food and any big american chain type restaurant. makes me wonder how they ever survived living in san francisco for so long

>>5900654
>23 years old
>birthday at disney land
are you a grill or mentally disabled?

>>5900700
What? My 30th birthday party my parents took me to chuck e. cheese. I got TWO big stacks of tokens.

>>5900700
nigga you dumb, disneyland is awesome no matter your age. I can't wait til my nephew is old enough to go and actually enjoy it so i got a reason to go.

>>5900825
so i take it it's the latter.

My 13 year old stepbrother is one of the pickiest people I've ever known.

>won't eat onions, sour cream, other ridiculous shit

>yesterday made quesadillas
>remember he won't eat anything spicy, put extremely mild sauce in
>stuffed a bunch of lettuce in there
>he just stares at it
>I know this routine, he's done it since he was six
>will wait for everyone to be done and leave, then dump his food in the trash, bury it and grab snacks instead
>ask him what the fuck is wrong with it
>the lettuce
>what's wrong with the fucking lettuce
>it's green
>it's touching the meat
>he's actually willing to escalate this into a fight because he won't put food in his mouth respectfully

Meanwhile his brother will eat absolutely anything and finish it.

>>5900853
Sounds autistic with the touching comment.

>>5900860
His pickiness doesn't even have consistency that an autist would. His dad always taught them to mix their shit together on their plate, so when they eat breakfast they end up with a mash of eggs, grits, hashbrowns, sausage, and gravy. But then he'll whine about some perceived wrongness for a different meal.

>>5900853
he'll probably grow out of it. i remember not liking stuff like mayo, onions, garlic and olives when i was around that age

>Few years ago
>Friend comes over to my apartment to visit for a couple days
>Wants to make some sort of casserole thing for dinner so we go buy the ingredients, bring them back
>Have to brown some ground beef for part of the filling
>Friend: "Wait, no, this is the wrong stuff"
>Ask him wtf he means, he said he needed ground beef
>Friend: "Yeah but it has to be in little pieces, this is like a loaf"
>Explain to him that you stir it as it cooks and it crumbles into pieces
>He looks at me like he's more confused than he's ever been in his life
>Tell him to watch, cook the ground beef, use the spoon to crumble it as it goes
>He leaves the kitchen and sits down on the couch while I finish cooking, I guess contemplating where he went wrong in life or something

I only hate all types of olives and eggplant. How pleb am I?

>>5900876
You don't know until you know. It just takes some people longer to learn things / become exposed.

I was in a relationship that ended recently. This woman's entire family was ignorant of many basic things and phrases we use daily. Who's doesn't know what "soup's on" means?

>>5900883

Olives are quite bitter and take getting used to, I love them, but I know that they aren't for everyone.

Can't really say on the eggplant, I've only had it twice, done roasted and while it wasn't terrible, it also wasn't good.

>be barista
>work two jobs, one at an actually good cafe and other at a pretty shit one
>shit one claims it has the 'best coffee in town'
>have a customer come in asking why it's the best coffee
>tell her about the beans that are used like I've been told to by the owners
>"is it bitter? I don't like bitter coffee"
>coffee's only bitter if you fuck up extracting it or it's rancid, explain this to her
>"oh, well I'll just get a weak extra hot soy latte"
>mfw not meant to heat soy milk over 55C
>mfw knew she only got a weak coffee since she thinks coffee's bitter
>mfw she actually thought she knew shit about coffee

>Be me, 12 years old
>New female preacher in town
>We go to a church meeting one night, everyone brings some food
>Mom brings her FUCKING Frito pie again
>Church lady brings some weird-sound Scandinavian fish thing
>Smells like ass
>Try some
>It's fucking delicious
>Notice everyone is on the other side of the room
>Crawl under the table with the tray of fish
>Eat the whole thing
>Still eating under there when they come over and look for the fish
>Preacher is pissed that the fish is gone and nobody else got any
>While they're distracted, toss the dish in the trash can and come out from under the table
>The Preacher thinks someone threw her fish away because they don't like a woman being a pastor
>Next day, acidentally burn the church down but that's another story.

>>5901003
>but that's another story
DON'T STOP KEEP GOING

>>5901007

Okay, okay

>Next day, go to church
>Stomach is feeling a little weird from all the fish
>For some reason tell my parents that I left a shoe in the car instead of just asking for the restroom
>Go into the bathroom during mass and take a huge shit
>While I'm shitting, my weird midget grandpa comes in
>Starts yelling about how bad the place smells
>Lights a match to clear the air
>Doesn't work
>Drops his matchbook and runs out of the bathroom
>Afraid someone will find out I ate all the fish by the smell
>Light a bunch of matches and accidentally drop one in the garbage can
>It catches on fire
>Panic.jpg
>Climb out of the bathroom window and run around to the front of the church and go back to mass
>1 minute later, the building is on fire and we're being evacuated
>The preacher is now convinced my grandpa hates her and burned the church down for that reason
>Police arrest him
>what have i done.jpg

>>5901007
and his name was bobby and his dad was hank and his mom was piggy

>>5901013

>>5884033
Fuck, I thought that was Frosted Flakes at first.

>>5884213
I don't attend church anymore (became agnostic sometime in high school) but people there are usually pretty nice. My brother isn't religious but still goes with friends almost every week. Not every church condemns non-believers to hell.

>>5884033
So interestingly my mom's mom was a great cook while my dad's mom was a terrible cook. I'll talk about the latter.

>visiting grandma out of state
>dad goes out one night to visit friends in the area
>grandma and grandpa decide to make my siblings and I hamburgers
>the burgers are either undercooked or overcooked, no in-between
>they weren't good, but we ate them because we were hungry
>she talks about how they're trying to show their recipe on some local cooking show
>amongst ourselves my siblings and I joke about it
>have a glass of milk with dinner
>notice the milk expired a week ago
>avoid anything with milk for the duration of our visit

We eat out as much as possible with her. I have fond memories of going to Big Boy's for breakfast.

>captcha: friedpe antiseptic

>>5893150
Nutella on bread is pretty good, but I wouldn't have it for more than an occasional snack.
>>5900700
Doesn't Disneyland offer something similar to a FastPass but for the disabled?
Also, what's wrong with Disneyland?

>>5901003
>>5901011

>>5901011

Absolutely fantastic.

>>5901003
Dang it Bobby get off the internet.

>visiting aunt
>asks if I'm okay with eating McDonald's in case we go there while I'm visiting (we never did go to one)
>"Yeah, that's fine. Why do you ask?"
>"Your brother refused to go there when he came to visit."
>a month later it's his birthday
>he wants McDonald's for lunch

>>5901003
Edggyyyyyyyy

>>5894833
Hes right honestly. If you use that kind of term you're either a 8 year old who needs to be disciplined for posting on 4chan, or a retarded girl who acts like an 8 year old to try and be 'cute', who also deserves to be put through the most heinous of torture sex

>>5888774
Same here. My family thinks if a steak isn't a blackened hockey puck, smothered in ketchup or A-1, then it isn't good.

>>5901071
>yfw all along I was the man with the horrible smell

>>5885750
I fucking love mixing my chili with asstons of cheese and tortilla chips, creating a gooey, crunchy, mass of beefy spicy goodness.

Your girlfriend only got it wrong with saltines.

>>5888566
ugh anon, you have made me have an even greater temptation to eat a shit ton of these so I can shit blue

>>5900700 im>>5900654
went to disneyland as part of family vacation for younger family members. only time we could all manage it was with my bday being last day there

>>5890515
Someone has cursed you. Your only choices are to keep suffering forever, or get ALL your active curses removed for ONE LOW PRICE at witchesgetstitches.com

>>5901892
+1

>>5900853
I can kind of see where he's coming from. Meat aside, hot cheese and lettuce is a weird mixture.

>>5884225
>>5884228
>thinking he's an edgelord for not thinking church "awesome"
>spouting memes

>>5884033
Clearly an American poster and as such is saged to the highest degree/

>>5902034

I want /sp/ to leave

>>5884074
this one annoying girl I know doesn't like food that "touches".

Like Shepards pie she doesn't like and she can't stand if mashed potatoes touch her vegetable.

Fucking retarded bitch.

>>5889845
used to be

>boyfriend is 23 and clueless about cooking
>am 20, finally have my own place and kitchen, love cooking for myself and him when he comes over
>make stuffed cabbage casserole and serve with a tossed salad
>he "doesn't like salad" and drowns it in ranch and picks out any vegetables I put in it that aren't lettuce
>he doesn't even take a bite of the casserole before dumping loads of salt, pepper, and even grated cheese on it
>tells me it tastes "weird"

It doesn't taste weird, it's a fucking casserole my grandma passed to my mom who passed it to me and it's delicious. I even used fresh cabbage and tomatoes from my garden. Rage.

>live in uni dorms
>one of my housemates is in sports science or some shit
>exercises regularly, seems healthy
>late one night go into kitchen to make a snack
>she is sitting alone at the table slowly eating a plate of plain pasta adorned with ketchup
>back away and question life
Later that year I found a ketchup crusted plate in the showers. I wonder if it was hers.

>>5890158
justification for homicide right there. kill that moron

>>5902113
My dad makes spaghetti with plain ground beef, drowns it in ketchup and calls it bolognese.

>>5902094
Your casserole sounds delicious. If I had had girlfriend willing to cook her old family recipes for me when I was 23 I would have been reasonably happy and certainly would not have told her that her food was "weird."

>>5893089
it's a shame. it should be taught to cook regardless of sex.

>>5890158
>bleach
>on cookware.

I'm surprised he hasn't accidentally killed himself yet.

>>5890158

beat him to death with the skillet while screaming DO YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS!?!?

DO. YOU. SEE. WHAT HAPPENS.

>>5902175
Maybe if it was really good quality ketchup... still sounds somewhat unappetising.

>>5902175
my dad used to make spaghetti with some variety of prego and would always pour about 1 cup of water into it to "Make it less thick"
I will never eat a non homemade sauce again

>Cousin makes herself 'Mac and Cheese'
>It's literally just plain pasta with a ton of grated cheddar on top
>Also, raw onions

>>5892987
feel bad for you anon. Though they werent the best most of the time, my mum still would always make mashed potatoes from real potatoes unless she was really pressed for time or was too lazy a fuck/had more attentive cooking matters.

The few times I had boxed mashed potatoes I easily noticed that they were buttery/fatty as shit and couldnt enjoy them

>>5902538
I used to really like boxed mashed taters. I'd only get the plain kind though, then season them myself. I've also heard of people using the potato flakes as breading when frying stuff.

>>5884142
Use to go to a mainly black church, food was god-tier.

>>5884033
I will never eat mustard of any kind other than as a dry rub on pork chops. I dunno why, but I have an extreme aversion to any kind of wet mustard and gag if I eat it.

>>5902704
It's supposed to be, dummy. You're at church.

>>5902725
A blocked childhood memory most likely. Perhaps a Puerto Rican rapist used it as lube.

>>5902745
u just made me gag

>>5902704
Black churches are the only Protestant churches that make decent food, swear to god.

>>5902916
Southern Baptist have God Tier food.

>>5884145
Wow. That was a nice story. Glad he got over his stockholm.

>>5901789

The vanilla kind with the green or blue frosting. D'no if you can find them right now because it's all Halloween/Fall sugar cookies wherever I look but during the Spring...

Eat the whole fucking box. You may get sick as shit but your poop... it will be blue. It's fucking awesome.

>>5901166
>Hurr I can't post keywords

>>5890158
>bleaching cookware
What the hell has your roommate been smoking?

>>5890631
>being good at a single thing
>intelligent
>not just a machine

Engineers are the shittiest of STEM majors, and attracts by FAR the most autists

My youngest sibling was historically the pickiest of us. Won't eat fish except canned tuna, many vegetables, any kind of mushrooms, drink milk, etc. He's got asperger's so I forgive him a bit. The thing is though that when he doesn't like something, he skips the veg or whatever, and fills in the portion with more meat and potatoes/rice whatever starch we're having. so he's kinda fat. Brings it on himself though.

I used to dislike lots of things as a kid, but I mostly grew out of it. I used to cut my meat up into tiny pieces, making sure I didn't get any fatty bits, tendons or chewy stuff in it. All the adults made fun of me, asking me if I was performing surgery and if I wanted a scalpel, etc. Then one day I threw up in the middle of dinner (I was like 8 maybe) because I bit down on something gummy and it triggered a gag reflex.

Never made fun of me again after that. I still cut all the gross stuff out, but I can thankfully control my gag reflex a bit better now.

>>5903720
>I can thankfully control my gag reflex a bit better now
We should meet up.

>>5903720
I still do that with my meat, but not to the same extent. I almost threw up at a Christmas dinner last year for a similar reason.
It's made me consider a more vegetarian diet, but not necessarily forgo meat.

>>5887646
>>5887837
A couple of months ago my Uni had a movie night and they gave away cupcakes with blue frosting. Everyone I know had one cupcake and after the movie was over we all had a chuckle over how blue our mouths were.

The next few days, mass texts were sent out in panic over the blue poop that everyone excreted and confusion as to why it was taking so fucking long to get through our systems.

We never saw that blue frosting on their cupcakes again.

>>5903776

>>5898009
You have never had cinimon rolls with the orange icing? imo they taste better than the regular ones. Then again I stopped eating sweets/candy 5 years ago.

>>5901011
>>5901003
>mfw this is from the simpsons

>>5884142
Pentecostal church? The ones with the obese people and really old people?

>>5903720

Ah, don't worry about it man. I'm totally in the same boat.

I love meat. it's delicious. I love chicken, I love beef, I love turkey, I love steak, pretty much everything.
But actual, physical fat clinging on to my food? No dice. I will cut off every tendon, every piece of grsitle, pluck every vein from my chicken breast, and carve out every chunk of fat. I love the meat itself, but I just CANNOT eat all of that other garbage.

It's a texture thing. That squidgy, rubbery, slippery, slimy, greasy chunk of fat sliding around in your mouth is just so disgusting. And you can never exactly just bite right through it, either. It's firm or springy somehow and it's always just a big chunk of jellied grossness.

>>5902916
>implying catholic churches are any good

I mean, mayyybe if you live in a place with Italians, but they always just go out to Joey's Restarante anyway.

>>5900875
Mayo is fucking sick

>>5900887
what type of soup?

>>5903801

The first blue poop is always an exhilarating experience. It's whatever that fucking frosting/the dye in it.

I wish I could buy it in abundance and frost lots of baked goods then poop in public places and leave it for others to behold.

My freshman year roommate ate zero vegetables and all his fiber came from fiber bars. He had a twitch sort of. I have to assume it was from some kind of deficiency.

>>5905301
I eat it with a spoon.

>>5902069

awww did she reject you?

>>5905402
lookin fit bbs

>>5901011
You are not the only one who revels in the life of Bobby, my friend. I dun caught you.

What the hell is up with so many people eating plain noodles with butter on them? It's absolutely disgusting. I'd think it was a poor people thing, but my brother-in-law does it too (with margarine instead of butter) and both his parents are filthy stinking rich. His mother is even a decent cook.

What makes people behave in this way?

>>5905569
When I was a small child I loved pasta with butter and a little strong grated cheddar, but I cant imagine what would compel and adult to eat just pasta and butter, unless they are really sick and need something especially bland.

>>5893049
My dad refuses to eat broccoli, and he's a fucking fantastic cook and one of the most open-minded people in the world when it comes to food. Some people just don't like it.

I'll personally eat broccoli raw without any dip or seasoning.

Anyway
>Friend starts cooking
>Cocky asshole, immediately a "chef"
>Every dish is just a filet of chicken or fish, cooked on high heat in a teflon pan until it gained tire tread consistency
>Covered everything in Adobo
>Made rice
>"Best rice ever! Bet you wish you cook like this!"
>Boils Uncle Benjamin rice packet, strains it
>Mixes in fucking brown sugar and more adobo
>Serves underneath burnt salt fish filet

>Makes pasta
>Pours Prego sauce directly into boiling water
>Says it helps the noodles absorb the sauce

This is a person who has watched me cook and eaten real complex dishes. Doesn't take advice, thinks he's a great cook. Which makes sense, his mom makes "The Best Chicken Parm in the World!" by frying Tyson filets, covering them with Prego and melting pre-shredded mozzarella on it.

>>5905956

He's a ghetto flip or a ghetto texican amirite

>only two options that include all that terrible shit

>>5906064
He's as white as they come from the northeast.

>>5906094

My world is shattered.

>>5890533
liberal south is the fucking worst. Nobody gives a damn about anyone.

>>5887278
Georgiabro here, this is triggering me.
>Room-temperature fried chicken in those silver pans
It wasn't even that bad, but something about it makes me shudder. Those clear plastic boxes of cookies, stuff crudely wrapped in tinfoil.

>>5906387
>liberal south is the fucking worst. Nobody gives a damn about anyone.
it's true

>>5906510
I love the south, its the only place you can get in a gun fight arguing over who holds the door for who.

>>5884213

>>5905569
not that ive ever had buttered noodles, but it doesnt seem like a horrid disgusting dish.
buttered egg noodles under some beef merlot seems not bad

>>5900887
You can turn off soup?

>>5901003
Dammit Varg! Now none of us will get weird scandanavian fish thing!

>>5890158
>bleaching a cast iron skillet
All of my keks.

>reading this thread
>tfw realizing how many kids will grow up not knowing how to do shit
>their parents never taught them how to catch, clean, and filet a fish
>or how to hunt
>or how to grow their own food
>or how to cook at all

Anons, if any of you ever get kids, promise me you'll raise them right.

>>5906667
It's what joining the Boy Scouts is all about, man.

>>5906667
I know how to cook simple meals, and I want to start cooking more. The problem is that I'm lazy and end up just eating microwave shit.
>>5906670
Too bad they're too political about unimportant issues, otherwise they do teach some important/useful skills.

>>5906667
>>5906670

This. My whole life people have made fun of me for being in Scouts and whatever, but now I'm a chef and people are constantly jealous of my knowledge of food, foraging, survival, and life in general. 'I don't know what I'd do if...' they say and I give zero fucks because I can solve my problems without having to call and pay a bunch of people a premium to do things for me. It's pretty cool.

>>5906667
>implying anons can pass on skills they don't posess

>>5905569
i enjoy pasta just tossed with butter or extra virgin olive oil.

>>5906698
I don't know, I can make some kickass serial.

>>5884200
>Funeral Potatoes
Kek

>>5905569

what the hell is up with so many people not understanding buttered pasta?

angel hair, sweet cream butter, cracked pepper. god-tier.

>>5889127
Blue as fuck, god damn.

>>5889578
>Was this seriously on the menu?
Probably on the kids menu.

>>5889676
>boiling coleslaw
>boiling
>coleslaw

Bro do you mean cabbage?

>>5889845
The master race

>>5893029
"I want to be cool and cultured but I don't want to have to push myself or be uncomfortable at all."

>>5893539
Look out, we have an edgelord in this thread! Tell me more about how cool your trenchcoat is!

>>5895472
Intelligence is 50% inherited.
How does it feel to be half-retarded?

>>5906797
Face it, junior, if you're using words like yummy, cutesy, adorable, etc, you're either a woman, a child or a fag.

>>5906800
It makes me want to beat you half to death twice.

>>5901166
I like single malt scotch. It is yummy!

>>5902016
>implying a delicious cheeseburger is a weird mixture.

>>5902425
SHOW THAT BITCH THE JOYS OF HEAVY CREAM

>>5906818

> wanting to beat someone 75% to death
> mfw

>>5906815
Nothing more childish than trying real hard to not seem childish. You gave yourself away, kiddo.

>>5884225
>>5884228

Not that guy, and maybe it's just my personal experience, but church is so fucking boring. Boring sermons everyone's heard before, boring songs sung by boring people in a boring room that smells of mothballs.

>>5906848
How did you get a moth to spread their legs for you to smells their balls?

>>5906842
We got a math magician here.

>>5906844
I'd give just about anything to be whatever age you imagine I am. Sadly, I am a middle aged man and you are still a pathetic faggot.

>>5905569
Sometimes you want to eat food but don't want to taste anything, or chew.

>>5900887
my SO's parents were confused by someone on masterchef making crumpets, they were like "I didn't know you could make crumpets... how does that work?" as if they thought crumpets just magically poof into existence or something

>>5906862
It's not hard, they fly right in your face and tea bag you with their dusty ass bug nuts.

>>5902113
hey, gotta get those carbs in if you work out a lot

>>5906815
maybe when you're a little older you'll learn not to take yourself so seriously

>>5904652

>That squidgy, rubbery, slippery, slimy, greasy chunk of fat sliding around in your mouth is just so disgusting

im going to puke just thinking about it, and I just had a bowl of special k with some greek yogurt mixed in
it was the strawberry and chocolate bits inside kind so pic related is what it would look like if i throw up all over the floor

>>5906870
see that's just depressing, middle aged and acting like an angsty tween

>>5905569
Basic White Bitches....

>>5906094
Did his parents get food from Schwann's?

>>5906905
Fuckin underrated post

>>5906870
A middle aged man arguing on an Anime cooking board and acting like a little bitch is grade A pathetic faggotry

Had an acquaintance (friend of a friend) that thought the only way to eat ramen was to cook the noodles, separate them by pouring the noodles into a fresh pot through a sieve, mix the flavor packet in the noodle water, then pour the whole mess onto the noodles while it's still in the sieve.

Same dude literally burnt water (yes, I know, it was just the chemicals dissolved in the water, but still...), fucked up lasagna (he burnt the meat on top, but the meat in the bottom wasn't even rare by gourmet standards). He considered Cholula too hot for human consumption with no flavor other than 'hot', and claimed he suffered poisoning from a half tablespoon of Sriracha. He would complain about how horrible anyone else's cooking was, while eating the biggest portions. He once lovingly described how the only good crab was grilled, because it made getting the crab from the shell "...with those little crabbing forks..." so easy...

Another acquaintance cooked his hamburger by adding ~1/4 cup of salt per pound of meat. Maybe a dash of pepper, but absolutely nothing else. Also considered Hardee's breakfast biscuits and gravy to be the best biscuits and gravy anywhere. Could barely stomach perfectly cooked scrambled eggs, 'cause his preference was scorched to just shy of black, and pretty much crunchy. Ate pizza with ranch... Not a bad thing, per se, but when you use about 3/4 cup per slice out of a 14" pizza. Yes, that means two CUPS of ranch for four slices.

And, sadly? Those aren't the worst or pickiest eaters I've met... T_T

>>5906848
It's also a community thing. More about the people that show up rather than the same rap they drop during services.

>>5907005
Please, enlighten us, anon!

As for me, it's my sister probably. I used to be way more picky than her, but now I can at least stomach some stuff.

>Vegetarian for dietary reasons (Literally cannot consume meat, I dunno.)
>Only really eats junk food and fruit
>Has a huge sweet tooth
>Once ate a cookie topped with cool whip and then sprinkled sugar on it.
>Used to butter straight from the stick
>Can't handle salads, at all
Probably not as bad as some other people in this thread.

>>5892987
instant mashed potatoes, I didn't even know this shit existed

>>5884185
My grandma from Kansas says those are "Texas potatoes." Don't blame my state for that shit, Grandma. That's a midwest abomination.

>>5900888
Try eggplant parmigiana. If you hate eggplant that way, you'll never like it.

>>5907704

I have to second this. Eggplant isn't one of my favorite things, but eggplant parmigiana, if done well, is fantastic.

I like to take leftovers and throw them on some split French bread (or leftover garlic bread, assuming there's ever any leftover), toss a little extra cheese on top and pop it under the broiler for a minute. Makes an awesome sandwich.