/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>5810049

>>5810052

>>5810050
>testing out new rotisserie
>temp starts to get low so i increase the heat
>go away for a few minutes to get a beer
>charred chicken
>tastes like old cigarette butts

>>5810063
>microwave bowl of ramen
>forgot to add water
>literally catches fire

>>5810117
>barbecue anything
Fucking gross

>pictures of cooked steak
>gore
Pick one

>>5810066
>high school
>roommate goes to make easy mac in the common room microwave
>doesn't add water
>black smoke pours into hallway and makes the entire floor reek
>microwave is binned
>mfw he was jewish too

>>5810140
How the fuck else would you eat a chocolate bar without biting into it? 2/10 apply yourself

>>5810142
>Dis nigga never had a kit kat

>>5810158
>gore
>still completely drinkable
Go back to /b/ and repost in an OCD thread

>>5810161
>>5810142
>>5810134

epic trolling m8 really epic

>>5810048
that's so burnt I can't even tell if it was a burger or a rice cake.

>>5810175
this is a fucking crime

>>5810181
It literally tastes the same and it has less bread.

>>5810187
I don't want to call your retarded but I will unless you provide a diagram how would you cut if further keeping pieces not annoying to eat and not requiring extensive amount of work (so no fucking squares).

>>5810066


>instant noodles
>better heat my water in the fucking microwave


do amerisavages not have stoves or something

>>5810340

>>5810340
>do amerisavages not have stoves or something
i have a stove. you're going to be bending over it.

I just put the noodles in a bowl and add how water from a kettle

>>5810142
>He's never taken a break with a kit kat bar.

>>5810176
I think it's pizza

>>5810117
what a child

>>5810186
fuck that, seriously fuck it

>>5810117
Jokes on you dicksuck, shit settles on the bottom during shipping. Opening from bottom mixes everything and you're not left with a shitty dust pile at the end. I do this with cereal and stuff too.

thought i was on /b/ for a second

>>5810365
> greasy, disgusting pepperoni
they got what they deserved.

>>5810142
>not taking breaks

>>5810158
I always used to stick the straw in the head, and on the Kool-Aid Jammers, I'd stick it in the Kool-Aid guy's eyes

>>5811813
confirmed for future serial killer

>>5810186
at least it might keep you from eating that disgusting vinaigrette, make your own faggt

>>5810175

>>5811845
>>5810208

>>5811845
aperture science.

>>5810653
Huh, never thought of it that way. Thank you anon. From here on in I'll be opening bags from the bottom.

>>5811851
rekt

>>5810052
I would hold it by the bone and eat it while using some hot sauce as a dip.

>>5810175
fucking christ who the hell would do that

>>5811845
So instead of 3-4 cuts you've got to do fucking 8. Some pieces became rectangles too which is fucking stupid. Most importantly
>It literally tastes the same and it has less bread.
>it has less bread.
No, it has the same amount of bread after all.
That was fucking retarded.

>>5810117
I was drunk last night and opened a bag of chips, and when I finished it today I noticed that I opened it upside down and cringed.

>>5812597
Fuck I remember that thread. First contact with the powerade turkey. Did we ever find out what "occasion" it was from?

>>5812623
>Did we ever find out what "occasion" it was from?
the beginning of the end

>>5810161
>"ocd"

>>5812597
This one always makes me laugh, mostly because the turkey looks like it's shrugging.

>>5812563
>has never seen a square cut pizza
Keep living under a rock. The world is a dark and terrible place.

>>5810186
I can never open those type of seals. I just sort of tug every which way until I give up and just use a knife.

>>5812654
>>5810208
>(so no fucking squares)

Why would I want to cut pizza into squares unless I'm having a party?

>>5812683
did auntie fee make that?

>>5812683
There isn't much on 4chan that makes me want to puke but this....this comes close...

>>5812623
Bunch of guys get together and make abominations to cooking,

>>5812597
what the fuck am I looking at?
did someone cook a turkey with powerade?

>at a family barbeque
>uncle insists on making the food
>get burger
>it's black and burnt as fuck
>"Why is all the food burnt?"
>"it's a barbeque anon the food's supposed to be black and crispy ;)))"
>mfw
Never trust family to cook food.

>>5812527
someone who loves themselves and likes to get shit done

Does anyone have the pictures of the Anon that found a deer carcass on the side of the road and created a murder scene in his bathtub?

>>5811845
>>5811888

>>5810138
>mfw he was jewish too
male jews are basically helpless children in business suits. they need nagging wives to do anything. my college has made me learn that jews are pathetic

>>5813180
Yeah ok, go back to /pol/ now.

I don't have any photos, but I can greentext stories about my mom's cooking.

>be my mom
>defrost frozen bloody bag of ground beef above milk
>I drink said milk
>proceed to go to work and suffer food poisoning all night long (I work overnights)
>mfw she does it again the next day, and she gets angry at me for moving it

>be my mom
>food recommended to go in at 200f at 25 minutes
>she puts it in for 300f for 20 minutes
>charcoal looked more appealing

>be my mom
>make beef wellington
>overcook beef and burn the ever lasting fuck out of the pastry
>she actually eats it

>be my mom
>try to steam veggies
>pot boils dry
>doesn't notice until burning smell
>melted plastic handle off the pot

I've got more if you want.

>>5813370

i'd still eat that. and probably enjoy it.

burnt food isn't necessarily bad. that carbon flavor is sometimes a plus.

>>5813391
I don't get it.

>>5813396
Anything with ketchup is gore-tier in the first place. Scotch egg + ketchup? Holy fuck.

>>5813404
>just watched a video with heston blumenthal eating a steak with ketchup
What say you, /ck/?

>>5813409
?

>>5813189

JIDF pls

redpill me on atkins

>>5813377
As ghetto as it ghetts.

>>5812597
Were you expecting normal roasted turkey?
TOO BAD

>>5813377
What's so bad about this?

>>5812683
overcooked
disgusting

>>5810066

ive done this once, the smoke and fumes were awful

>>5813395
are those dried apples with aerosol cheese?

>>5813390
i'd do that if i didn't have an oven

>>5813414
The orange was tortured.

I have no words.

>>5812683

God, this is fucking horrible. I'm so fucking pissed because I've made beef wellington twice and it came out near-perfect.

How do you fuck up that bad?

>>5814721
would kill on a bulk/10

>>5813488
Fucking sauce is brown. groce. I bet the pasta is soggy too.

>>5814764
of course you would, /fit/ has not taste

Apparently, this eldritch canned green bean and gelatin mass contains fried liver.

This should not exist.

>>5814808
This picture made me say "What the fuck" allowed.

>>5814814
Wa la *aloud

>>5813488
Pretty much none of the atkins food is low or no carb. It's pretty fucking gross to boot.

>>5814804
mine was fried years ago. and I like chicken and even kfc but if I eat chicken liver i cant walk for several days. gout.henery 8 i am not, but not fun

>>5812683

>>5813271
moe pls

>>5813271

>at home
>sis is hanging out with her friend at our house
>playin vidya in living room, sitting on floor
>Suddenly hear crunching behind me
>See sister's friend sitting in chair behind me
>She's eating a bag of plain salted chips/crisps
>Notice a stick of butter
>Watch as she dips plain salted chips in stick of soft butter and eats them
>"They're not salty enough, anon."
> mfw

>>5814974
my dick is disappointed

>>5814814
>>5814820
out loud you fucking illiterate scum

>>5814808
bananas, deli meat and melted american cheese and or velveta?

The fuck?

>>5812623
http://malechef.tumblr.com/

This guy makes intentionally gross looking food. This was his thanksgiving creation.

>>5814808

>>5815024
>aloud - adverb: audibly; not silently or in a whisper
Did you learn a new word today?

>>5810653
That was from a Cosmo article that was posted here.

http://www.cosmopolitan.com/food-cocktails/advice/a30744/17-ways-youre-eating-breakfast-wrong/

Draw conclusions and make sweeping judgments about this man here

>>5815063
Surprised they didn't put it in a Jello mould

>>5815074
Holy shit that list is awful

everything looks good to me

>>5815416

I wonder how that actor feels about becoming a meme that's only ever used to make fun of people.

>>5813395
Thought they were mushrooms at first, and then I really wanted nachos with mushrooms in place of chips.

>>5813488
You're better off just making your own healthy food, or if you have to microwave something lean cuisines are far superior. Atkins is nothing but a waste of money.

>>5814721
Fuck you that looks like GOAT drunk food.

>>5815458
He's not even an actor he's just a regular person

>>5815106
in socialist american, mold moulds you!

>>5815530
It's Pugsley from Addams family!
oh, but it's not...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RoZNsgrGO0Q

>>5815552
there were two actors you dumbass

>>5815530
But he is an actor, why are you lying?

>>5814790

A plate of brown you say?

>>5813395
Dried moldy apples and aerosol 'cheese'. Why.

>>5810142

>>5810066
>frenchbread gets hard, not stale
>microwave whole loaf for party; shit's awesome like it just came out of a bakery
>little end-chunk left
>hongry next day
>throw it in for 2 minutes like I did the loaf
>entire house fills with perfectly aerosolled char
>roomates give me shit for days

>>5813385
>>5813391
whats wrong with these?

>>5812597

it's not the powerade that gets me, it's the fucking hay and wood paneling.

why is this shit on a barn floor?

>>5815528

whitest pizza in argentina

>>5814804
This is why we're doomed as a species. This right here.

What sick bastard suspends green beans and fried liver in gelatin?

>>5816308
You're kidding right?

>>5814804
This looks great, the photo is just shitty with shit light

>>5815552

>>5816467

>>5813122
and hates crust

>>5814721
from the thumbnail I thought this was giant and lying on a couch.

>>5813271
Alright. I don't care if I am late on this. What was the milk IN? If it is in a closed container you should not have had any problems. If it was in a bag or an open glass, then something might have happened.

>>5813139
Is this actually a thing?

>>5813139
>>5818046

>>5814974

>>5818008

>>5815458
http://i.imgur.com/4cIcDeF.png

>>5812654
Is that a pizza with other pizza's as toppings?

>>5812687
You wouldn't

>>5815074
>microwaving eggs
>"steeping" tea with a dropper
>combining coffee and yogurt
>muffin pan eggs made days in advance
>not using a spoon for yogurt

>>5810066
Literally?

>>5818500
>he doesn't eat yogurt with chopsticks
Lol whAt a virgem

>>5813271
are you me?

and if I say anything it just gets worse. I microwaved chicken today and she asked me why. she challeneged me as it was dripping blood

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5K0sFKg7M4s

>>5818732
this is hideous, everything from the language to the dirty dishes he uses is vomit inducing. What in the fuck makes people think they need to record themselves living like this, it is truly appalling, and his facial hair is whack.

I once cooked a chicken that had a can of PBR stuffed inside.

Interesting flavor.

>>5815074
>http://www.cosmopolitan.com/food-cocktails/advice/a30744/17-ways-youre-eating-breakfast-wrong/
>Breakfast Hack #7: Pour the milk before you pour the cereal

This is a po'boy with gator meat apparently.

>using a 3DS as a size comparison

Shitty food fads always lead to shitty food.

Pizza Butt more like Pizza Hut

>>5818811
Who has never heard of beer can chicken?

There are too many problems with this pic.

I think this'll make a nice conclusion to this dump.

>>5818844
6/10 would eat

>>5812597

A friend of mine's first attempt of a crepe.

>>5818908
perfect!

>>5818819
If it is gator meat it is excusable.

Fuck that stuff is good. Not even from the south.

>>5815074
I can't tell if that list is supposed to be serious. I hope to god that it isn't.

>>5818908
excuse me

>>5818908
oh god i was making crepes when i was six. what did he do?

>>5818952
He felt the urge to make it after watching some anime that they had crepes in.
He messages me on Skype like an hour after the fact with this horror story.
I thought it was a lung or something at first.

>>5818924
It's cosmo, it's not a joke

>>5818094
I was in this thread. I wish someone archived it.

>>5818908
We have a saying in France : the first crepe is for the cook.
Because the pan is always too cold or too hot or the batter missing a bit of milk or flour, the first one is always a failure.

My flat mate tried to make some homemade burgers. Definitely worth a contribution.

>>5813377
>This guy has never camped out in his living room

>>5814855

>>5816027
Who is that

>>5818818
Why the fuck

>>5818819
And this is a gore thread.

Gator meat is good. And that looks delicious. Fuck outta here.

>>5819383
Those don't even look bad

>>5815054
Hollandaise, actually. I imagine it tastes putrid

Would you?

>>5817130
in addition, this

does burnt food increase your chance of getting cancer?

>>5819819
Looks like a boss form some N64 game

>>5819890
there once was a time that I would decry this as fake

I miss those times

>>5819887

That's a great snack idea for a BDSM munch.

>>5819886
Underrated post.

>>5819888
>"i only want a small slice anon!"
>"I'm on a diet I can only have a little piece"

luckily that cake could be recitified after that retards slice with only another small slice.

>>5819936
How do I rate posts

>>5814808

Peru is that you?

>>5819902
explain pls? not a munch, why this would be appropriate?

>>5820025
I would assume it'd be for the S & M lettering on the candies.

>>5820045
duh. thank you

>>5815074
just throw a banana on a hot dog bun you piece of shit

>>5819892

I posted this one on here years ago.

Bought pizza, read instructions wrong, pizza was supposed to go into a cold oven and warm up as the oven warmed up, I just read the time and temp on the box and pre-heated.

>>5815975

>>5818094
d-did this actually happen

>>5820092
i hear it did. wasn't privy to the original thread, wish i had been.

>>5819898

Me, too. Nowadays I just can't tell anymore if people are trolling or actually being serious with all that shit. I mean, seriously, people who think they are a deer or a fucking planet? Jesus.

>>5820079

Why didn't you just use baking paper?

>>5820111

Because he already made it clear that he misread the instructions and therefore thought there was no need for it?

>>5820092
Did happen. Delicious (?) roadkill deer, mmmmm...
Fuck, I wish I knew where that thread went.

>>5815975

Fucking hell

>>5820114

I use baking paper for everything so I'm kind of befuddled right now that people don't usually use it

>>5820125

It's rubbish for wiping your arse on, tbh.

>>5820243
There's a special place in hell for people like this.

>>5819890
>>5819898
It is. It's a troll account.

>>5820243
How fucking disgusting.
Miracle whip is way better than mayo.

Here for you fags arguing about pizza slicing.

>>5820263
I don't really think he's trying to make them taste better.

>>5820274
The joke your head etc.

>>5820278

Shut the fuck up. If a joke isn't funny you can answer it seriously. Go back to Reddit with your whoosh shit

>>5820284
That's terrifying.

>>5811593
kek

>>5812687
square cuts are fucking awesome

a crust-less piece is a totally different beast than a slice w/ a crust

>>5815063
fuck

>hey at least it's easy to digest

>>5820269
>
3

>>5819758
>good
Gator meat is $12 chicken nuggets for people who want to feel exotic.

>btw I'm from Florida

>>5820092
I was ITT.
A dude hit a deer with his car (he may have found it freshly dead but I'm pretty sure he hit it). He asked if it was safe to eat, because he had brought the thing home in his truck. Some people said yes, some said no. One dude in the thread was a professional butcher IIRC, and he walked him through breaking the whole deer down. Since he didn't have any space in his house he did it in his bathtub; there was blood everywhere, all over the walls and everything. Organs and bones too, it was gruesome.

Can't blame the dude, he got some free venison out of it. I'd do the same if I hit a deer.

>>5820702
Did it get archived / did anyone save anything else from it?

I dont have a picture but the last roommate I had used to get into the leftover pizza and eat ALL THE FUCKING CRUSTS OFF
so I'd go back in the morning look at the pizza and bam, crustless fucking pizza
horrific

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/10BMRCUbeGzRSzVcuLmQ7t63yMlMZnpBwHt2mpLdyuTs/viewform?usp=send_form

>>5813395
>Made with REAL CHEESE

it's both sad and funny that the fact that this cheese is made with "real cheese" is portrayed as an extraordinary feature

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gGNs1VXeFJA

Don't watch this unless you have a strong stomach.

>>5815975

where does buzzfeed find their hipsters for their videos? Why not have a wide spectrum of people instead of just the apple store

this pisses me off so much

>>5821103

what is this, a fuck up for ants?

>>5810158

Trufax: You actually get a better seal around the straw doing it this way. I normally stick the straw in the bottom.

>>5821103
even better, that middle slab is spam

>>5821108
no for manlets

>>5821103

I can't see what you're upset about.

>>5813488

Why can't you make your own "italian style pasta bake"? Pasta is the easiest and cheapest thing in the world to make. Why would you pay extra for something with Atkins® on it, when you can make a better tasting and healthier version of the exact same thing at home?

tl;dr You are a stupid consumer.

>>5821191

Gotta be some special type of pasta, or else it would probably have more than 7g carbs.

>>5821229

Oh. I didn't realize you can't buy low-carb pasta at the store.

But then again, I eat real pasta because I like food that is made of food.

I stay in shape by getting off my ass and doing stuff.

>>5821254

You sound like a dick. Why are you such a dick?

>>5820284
Apparently they had no patience

>>5810222
Dat looks like my fucking lunch (from yesterday)

>>5820284
>>5821368

Even if they waited until the bottom layer solidified, the heat from the next liquid layer would still fuck it up

You would have to wait even longer until the next layer is almost solid and then pour it

starting to border on jello-making autism

>>5810052

I'd eat this

>>5820945
i have no clue. it's really annoying. i wanna believe they're just posers.

>>5810365

At first I thought it was some kind of bowl of black bean soup

>>5821916
That's why you make it in something metal and then place that something metal in cold water or ice.
Once it's core temp is down low enough to begin gelatinization, you pour it on the next layer.
Like seriously, I've not even done this but my competent chef skills allow me to use COMMON FUCKING SENSE.

gore

>>5820111

Because I wouldn't use baking paper on a regular frozen pizza that goes into a preheated oven. My fuck up was not reading the instructions.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Sluj0y59tQ

Horrible, just horrible.

>>5820886
Poor Pepe

>>5813488
the basic approach of high protein and fiber, with fat preferred to carbs, is a good way for most people to eat a serious deficit without feeling too hungry. but the actual atkins food is mostly gross.

>>5810365
pepperonis still salvagable

>>5813377
This is the plate they hand me when I get into Heaven.

>>5819902
>munch
>bringing your own food
what does a munch entail in your neck of the woods?

>>5812597

at first look, i thought someone had made bleach crystals