/ck/ - Food & Cooking

This is now a QTDDTOTT

Salmon with pasta and tomato sauce? Yes or no?

>>5773648
*tip*

>>5773770
Dear god, no. White sauce would work a lot better.

>>5774629
>pair fatty fish with fatty sauce
no

>>5773770
>>5774629
>ruining the flavor of your steak by putting sauce on it
You might as well just eat it well done with A1, plebs.

>>5774635
>being illiterate
what a shame

>>5774633
If it's fatty, might as well go all the way.

If you're gonna eat lean, then eat lean. Don't halfass it.

>>5774659
can't i balance out my food like a normal instead of going full retard "epic meal time" with it?

DID SOMEONE SAY POTATO?

>>5774639

actually, his post was more grammatically correct than yours. i would hardly even call yours a sentence.

i'm going to start counting the number of times you accuse people of being illiterate for no apparent reason, because i've seen you around and you're nothing but bad news. BUCKO.

>>5774669
>pairing salmon with white sauce
>"epic meal time"

>>5774676
i don't really recall calling more people illiterate but my memory isn't so great

i also called him illiterate because that post said "salmon" and he thought it said "steak"

it was a joke

>>5774687
pairing fatty food with more fatty food because "if you're gonna do it, do it all the way!" is kind of similar to epic meal time

>>5774697
No it's not, you goddamn Jehovah's Witness.

Epic Meal Time owes their success to the guys' douchebag attitudes and the fact that they put bacon on everything while making decadent & wasteful bullshit.

>>5774715
>Jehovah's Witness
psh

i don't care about their success, but that was my point

they just piled fatty, rich food on top of more fatty, rich food and thought it was awesome

i think it's awesome when someone plans a meal more carefully so everything is balanced

>>5774725
>Odin is my god

>>5774725

so you mean a habit and mindset that is decidedly american? you sound like you're obsessed with epic meal time.

>>5774737
odin is my friend

>>5774745
what are you talking about? i said i don't like fatty rich food piled on top of more fatty rich food as in epic meal time

i do not like epic meal time

unless you're saying the mindset of an american includes careful planning and balance. then you're okay with me.

>>5774633
how fat do you have to be to worry about salmon and white sauce ?

>>5774812
i'm not fat, you're fat, but i don't think it would taste good is my point. you're just pairing fat with fat.

tomato sauce is acidic which would work better with fatty food.

>>5773648
if there iq is that low, could you explain to me how they would have the intelligence to understand that

your logic is flawed

>>5774839
>tfw start thinking of an answer for this post
>tfw it's stupid and zone out
>see the universe swallowed by a black hole and multiple big bangs with different levels of hostility to life in each universe
god damnit

Well of course this is derailed as fuck

Herbed potatoes.


Start with potatoes, any kind work, the red ones rock for this

Cut the potatoes into small pieces, about twice the size of a 6 sided dice.

Add about a thimble and a half full of your choice of oil.

Then add about enough herbs. I do Basil, Rosemary, Thyme, Parsely. You want to add about a mouse's brain worth of each herb

You'll coat the diced potato in the oil and herbs, about a soda bottle cap full of salt and pepper.

I'd say add a dollop of green onions too.


Cook it in the oven for about the length of an average abortion, or until the potatoes are cooked through.

Sharing more potato recipes.

Easy peasy:

Hashbrowns.

Clean your potatoes like scrubbing teeth, use a cheese grater to grate them into shreds the thickness of earthworms. Heat up some oil in a pan, I prefer using about 1 and a half shotglasses of olive oil.

Once the oil is hot add about 2 cereal bowls worth of the shredded earthworm thickness potatoes, or until it almost fills the pan.

Let that fry for at least the length of 2 Sonic The Hedgehog 2006 loadscreens (About 7 minutes) then flip it, both sides should be golden brown like that weird stuff I cough up that I should mention to a doctor.


Salt and pepper to taste, I find adding about 2 sporks worth of each makes it turn out well.

Nobody else contributing? It's hilarious, /ck/ is 90% shitposting neckbearded faggots who don't give a single fuck about actual cooking but pretend to, in all honesty, none of you fags know a thing about cooking, be honest, it's why you all shitpost on every fucking thread.


Potato.

Slice potato into long thick slices, same shape as a sweet potato fry, but a normal potato, so I guess kinda like a normal potato fry. you can use sweet potatoes too. they need to be the size of a sweet potato fry as well after cut with your tool.

Heat up oil, there needs to be enpough to cover the sweet potato fry sized wedges of potato you just cut, add about 1 and a half mikes hard lemonades worth of oil and let it heat up.

Add the sweet potato fry sized potao cuts into the oil, cook until golden brown like that spot on your toe nail you have to apply antifungal to daily.

Remove from oil, add about a quarter human scrotum of salt and pepper, enjoy, add garlic if you wish, the average size of a candle flame should be enough.

Ok, get potatoes, cut them into pieces the size of a large acorn, maybe a golf ball.

Boil them till done, while they are boiling boil a little celery, onion, and carrot in chicken broth, after its all cooked together well, add about a lightbulb full of milk or cream, and about as much cheddar cheese, then add in some corn off the cob, add about 1/3 a head of cabbage worth of corn, let it cook for around 1 bad Hannah Montana song, then add the already cooked potatoes, let it cool off then eat it or your stomach wont get it inside of it so cooking it would have wasted precious time, about one episode of superjails worth of time

I'm just going to keep going until someone responds with something that isn't a shitpost.

Cut off all sides of a potato until it is square. Cut square slices of the potato off, they should be as thick as the average pickle chip, and about the size of a checkerboard checker square thing.

Get bacon and do the same thing.

Stack the slices like this: Potate, Bacon, Potate, Bacon, Potate, Bacon, Potate. Always end with potate. Cook a bit on low heat to heat up the bottom, and then put it in the oven for about 1 phineas and ferb episode, maybe 2, depends on how hot the oven is, make sure it's an oven safe pan.

Pull it out, it's glorious. dont add anything, it has bacon, what, are you bulking or anything? Fucking stop, dont do it, it already has so much flavor, no, dont add that, fuck man, the bacon adds enough fats to bring back a dozen african children from the dead, you dont need to add salt you greedy twat.

>>5775236
im enjoying

would make if i had potato

>>5775244
Over here it's 3 dollars for a 10 pound bag, I had money problems so I relied heavily on potatoes, rice, ramen and chicken. I can list off 20 tasty dinners that all cost under 3 bucks per person.

Next recipe, I'm running oout of potates.


this is my favorite thing to make with potates, gonna make it after this post. gonna stop using silly measurements too, shit is serious, I love this one

Grab some potates, slice them into tiny pieces, like half the size of a 6 sided dice. you want them tiny so they brown faster, ensuring they are very crunchy. At the same time start a pot of rice. Make enough rice to feed everyone, my measurements are usually a half cup of rice per person and a whole potatoe per person (we're talking poor people rations man, feel free to make way more of course)

the potatoes and rice should be cooking, if you can multitask, good, start the next step Im about to list, if not, rice and potate can be put aside without them going bad, cover the rice so it doesnt go dry.

Now, Get a little chicken broth or boullion, about 1 cup, put it into a pan large enough to put all your rice and potato in later. Add some green onions if you got em, and pretty much any nice veg that cooks well, add extra broth accordingly because whn this heats up you want to veggies to cook without boiling out all the broth.

Once it's hot enough, get some tomato sauce, I usually use one huge can (the more the merrier, fucking love tomatoes) and pour it into the mix, also add your rice now, NOT the potatoes, you cant add them now because they will lose their crunchinness.

Add italian spices, Basil, rosemary, thyme, Parsley, Oregano. Flavor that shit up and cook until you feel like the rice has sucked up a lot of the flavor.

Now just take it off the heat and serve, sprinkle the still crunchy potatoes over the top for a crunchy texture and a really tasty poor person meal.

If you get your ingredients cheap it should easily be under 5 bucks per person

don't bend over in the tater patch moma. you know them things got eyes thank's ck

>>5775264
Post a potato recipe you shit posting cock-tease.


Ok, simple stuff, baked potato, but in the microwave.


Easy shit, poke holes into a potato with a fork, put it in the microwave for 5 minutes, flip it over, another 5 minutes. Done.

It works wonders and saves a lot of time and is just as good as the oven. Unless you like the skin crispy then just oven it (I knew this old lady that ALWAYS overcooked them on purpose because she loves how it got chewy and dry. It was horrible)

>Take a tater
>Boil it
>Pick up the tater
>Eat the tater like a piece of fruit

That's how you tater.

>>5774670
thatis low down mean spirited and generally rotten bet you are headed straight to hell

>>5774847
its to attracted smug morons like you

>>5775275
Boil potatos, mash then into a fine paste, add butter, a little milk, some salt and pepper, boom, delicious mashed potatoes.

>>5773648

Obligatory:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QiqqC_fbP1c

>>5775301
>a fine paste

>>5774697
so just eat some fucking salmon with a bit of lemon and pepper what the fuck do you want

>>5775118
>a mouse's brain worth of each herb

>>5775275
>I knew this old lady that ALWAYS overcooked them on purpose because she loves how it got chewy and dry

Guilty. When I bake potatoes in the oven I bake them properly because ovens can get the skin crispy the right way. But in a microwave, I'll let the little bastards turn to leather before I call them 'done'.

>>5775118
good recipe friend.
if i may say, paprika, cayenne pepper, salt and garlic powder instead of the herbs you used will give this a spicy mexican taste, great for break fast burritos

>>5775204
i really like your posts and wish i could contribute the way you write yours.