/ck/ - Food & Cooking

I splashed some hot grease on my arm the other day. Could have been a lot worse. Still hurt like a bitch.

>>5679065
Urgh, just the thought of how that could've ended makes me cringe. Glad you're okay, OP.

>>5679084
Amazing factoid: A human can regenerate the first 1/3 inch of their finger tips after injury. Anything after that will never grow back.

>>5679103
Neat-o.

>>5679065

I never use a mandoline without a cut glove. People make fun of me, but I haven't cut myself once on one, and I can work about twice as fast as they can because I don't have to slow down when I get to the bottom third of the food.

God damn I don't cringe much, but something about nails breaking/cracking makes me wince so hard.

Well as for me a box of knives fell on me luckily the knives fell out after it hit my head.

>>5679103
It's true but you need something to help it along.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/7354458.stm

>>5679103
Yeah?! Aw.
I cut the tip off of my middle finger of my left hand and a little of the index when I was 11 using a paper cutter (the big machete thing that's attached to a hinge attached to a piece of wood).
It grew back. I thought I was special. Curse you, Anon. May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your netherregions.

My mandoline's blade shredded my handguard the other day because I wasn't really paying that much attention and just wanted to get my sweet potato sliced quickly. Thing got itself at kind of an angle and part of the plastic just got shredded right into my sweet potato slices. Not really a close call, just a mandoline story.

Obligatory.

>>5679574
Oops!

>>5679065

my mother calls it the mangler. Fuck the fear of god, my mother instilled in me from a young age, a fear of the mandoline.

>drinking vodka on a weekend and decide fuck yes im gonna make chicken wings
>electric stove deep frying, im sure this will be fine
>my drunk self overfills the pot with oil and throws in wet semi frozen chicken
>despite that everything is still fine
>slip on the floor and nudge the overfilled pot of hot oil
>spills on to red hot electric coils
>instant flame, everything is on fire
>grab fire extinguisher from under the sink and start unloading it all over the place
>finish wings and contemplate where i have gone wrong in my life as i look over the charred remains of my stove and cupboards
>wake up the next morning, everything has a coating of black and the entire place smells of burned plastic
>mfw when i nearly burned down a 4 floor apartment building

how do you like your mandolin?

I’m thinking of getting one for cutting apples into slices for my dehydrator. It’s not like I cut a ton of apples, I’m just really lazy, and this would save me 10 minutes or so per use.

What do you use your’s for?
any tips, like for cleaning, or storage?
Regrets?

>>5679847

Get a $25 benriner and a $15 cut glove.

They are pretty much the most versatile kitchen tool you could have as far as cutting is concerned. You can shave 60-90% off your prep time with some practice.

>tfw picture-perfect brunoise
>tfw transparent slices of whatever you want
>tfw the sheer joy of burning through a mountain of veggies

>>5679582
Fuck that shit...

>>5679582
told these stories a couple times on here before but this reminded me of them

>new guy at work, says hes worked in restaurants before
>we're closing go outside for a smoke while he finishes sweeping before we do the floors
>tell him to cut off the fryer
>on the smoke deck puffin a bowl and a cig, hear a wild scream
>run inside, he pulled the oil release valve instead of turning the knob

>another guy, says he's worked in kitchens too
>using our super expensive wok station
>puts oil in one of the woks
>turns around, forgets, oil catches fire, whatever
>puts a lid on it
>lifts the lid a bit and peeks in to see if its out
>fire shoots into his face

both of them went to the hospital, neither worked another day, at least I got out of doing the floors

>>5679080
I did that too but I must have been at just the right angle looking over the pan so it all splashed on my throat. Felt worse than it looked but that could have been so bad.

bump

Worst I ever had was deboning either chicken or fish, I can't remember, at work alone on a saturday. Anyway I was getting really frustrated and grabbed it in my left hand to get a good angle and the boning knife went right through and into my left middle finger. I almost hit bone, was lucky it was a boning knife though. Never got any stitches although I think I should have. I still got the scar and that part of my finger is really sensitive now. If I rub it with my finger it feels really fucking weird, like kind of feels like it should hurt but doesn't.

I have very few kitchen injuries, worst burn I got was grabbing a saucepan without gloves but the handle was over a burner that was left on. Hand hurt like hell for a week.

My roommate, then co-worker cut off a big chunk of his finger on the slicer when slicing some roast beef. Still amazes me that he did that, slicers are pretty damn safe if you aren't brain-dead.

obligatory

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=noFCekWiUGE

OP trim your fucking nails.

Not only are they a hazard for getting cracked, split or broken off, they are also places where bacteria can gather and grow causing either infections in you, or on the food you are working with.

You probably have salmonella colonies under those fucking womanly claws.

>>5681312
http://youtu.be/8eR5-HCHIZE

obligatory

>>5679065
I wish there was a way to hide OP's pic but still see the thread. I hate pictures like that.

>>5681320
>letting womyn in the kitchen

>>5679065
I've seen lots of gore and this upsets me much more than some of the stuff on this site.

I was cutting bread with a bread knife (real sharp serrated edge) the other day and just barely nicked my finger on the other side of the bread before I stopped cutting

>before draining fryer we always let it cool down for an hour first
>newish guy whos been working there for a month says "nah its fine, lets just change it right now" while its only been off for about 3 minutes because he wants to get it done and out of the way
>tell him no and he argues a bit but finally gives in after we tell him how dangerous it is
>Me and souschef are downstairs in the freezer checking on how much supplies we have
>hear loud BANG up stairs and then screaming
>we run up there
>dude tried changing the fryer while we werent around even after we told him not too
>he put a huge pot on the floor to catch the hot oil, and then tried picking it up
>he bumped into something while carrying it and because it was so full it spilled over the edge onto his chest and all the way down the front of his body
>chef whites are super absorbent shitty clothes that off no protection against anything so the oil went straight through to his skin
then he dropped the huge pot of oil on the floor which made the loud bang
>hes laying there with his jacket off trying to get his pants off, basically totally naked screaming trying to get all his clothes off
>we pull him over to the dishpit and use the dish sprayer with cold water to cool off the huge fucking burns all over him from his chest down
>even his fucking dick had blisters on it
>we call the ambulence, call the boss shows at home because its almost midnight, and then spend the next 4 hours staying later cleaning old fryer oil off of fucking everything and out from underneath everything in the goddamn kitchen because it seeped into every goddamn nook and cranny

>>5681354
we always drain our fryer right after cutting them off, no issues except this asshole >>5679998

I've seen a cook drive a cleaver through his nail and the bed down to the bone. Pressure alone utterly failed to stop it bleeding and we ended up just tying his hand to an overhead IV support for a couple of hours until it finally stopped.

>>5681369

Thats a stupidly bad practice to have. Its just asking for that one single time you fuck up and get fucking burned because of it even though you've been "doing it every day for years".

Draining a hot fryer is straight up stupidity.

Ive even seen guys drain it into a pot on the floor and try and let it cool there because it cools faster. But that just makes it even worse because now somebody might trip on the pot, or drop something in and make it splash everywhere.

I dont give a fuck what anybody says. ALWAYS let a fryercool down before fucking with the oil. So long as the oil is still hot like tapwater, but not hot enough to burn you, they drain out and clean up just fine and you dont have to worry about getting 3rd degree burns because your hand is now deep fried.

jesus christ i typed in mandoline slicer into google images and a bunch of sliced fingers came up in the results. i now refuse to ever use one.

>>5681354
fuck. why are people so reckless when dealing with hot oil?

>>5679065
i had a grill over once to get drunk and make homemade pizza before I let her felate me. she said she wanted deep dish but I didn't have that much time. close call there, but we saved the evening. she performed exquisite fellatio as I retrieved my cast iron cake pan and set the oven for a slightly lower temp.

>>5681380
Oh, well, we just hire competent people.

>>5681380
We get a guy in to change our fryer oil and clean.
he takes it all hot in sealed buckets.

>>5681405

>Oh, well, we just hire competent people.

Sure you do. Have fun when that one time out of 10000000 times you drain the hot oil you end up with 3rd degree burns.

Just turn the fryer off and go do other shit while it cools down. Its not hard.

>>5681441
>professional
>animoos

>>5681441
>one time out of 10000000 times
so the same chance as becoming president
or less of a chance than:
dying in a plane crash(1:1000000)
A left handed person dying from using right handed products incorrectly(1:4.4mil)
becoming a movie star (1:1,505,000)
death by flesh eating bacteria (1:1mil)
Getting struck by lightning (1;1mil)
Dying in a bathtub (1:840000)
Being murdered (1:18000)
Dying in a car accident(1:6700)

Yeah I think I'll take my chances

>>5681444
>>5681459

THEY'RE TROLLING THE THREAD! THEN THEY'RE GOING TO TROLL ME!

OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!

>>5679065
>>5679118
>>5679140
>>5679604
Every professional cooks knows the mandoline is the most dangerous thing in any kitchen. It's not fear, it's a terrified respect.

>>5681396
no one needs to know this shit you disgusting normalfag

>>5681474

>Every professional cooks knows the mandoline is the most dangerous thing in any kitchen. It's not fear, it's a terrified respect.

>chick is slicing up a roast on the meat slicer for sandwiches
>he hand slips off the handle and she falls forward a bit because she was putting all her weight into each push with the slicer
>from about halfway down her pinky to almost her elbow now has a sandwhich meat thick piece of meat and skin and dangling off her arm and shes screaming
>blood fucking everywhere and on everything

>>5681491

>>5681491
holy fuck pls be fake

>>5681491
cringed hard

>>5681491
sometimes I hate my vivid imagination

>>5681512
>>5681527

No, its not. I was standing beside her chopping vegetables to make a soup with on the same table the meat slicer is on.

I also had to get out the bleach and clean everything up after she went to the hospital where they basically just cleaned up the meat/skin and layed it back over where it was cut off and wrapped it up in bandages so it could heal in place.

>>5679604
your mom is stupid
manglers are already a thing

>>5679065
>mfw my dad makes fun of me for using the hand guard and cut glove
It's like he wants me to get hurt. Being safe doesn't make you a pussy, it makes you smart.

>tfw no cooking accidents despite cooking a lot
but i'm a pussy so it works out i guess. haven't had a kitchen related injury in years but did rip a nickel sized chunk of flesh off my hand while working at a concert

>tfw barely any scars on hands
>tfw no stories to tell qts

>>5681491

I've sliced the tip of a finger off down to the nail. Sucked.

>>5679847
I've had a cheap walmart mandolin for over 5 years and it has never done me significant wrong. I stopped using the cut guard about a year ago, and have only lost less fingernail than OP's pic.

I grated the shit out of myself yesterday on accident though. I always get hurt by the grater, because I have no respect for it like I do the mandolin, since it's a giant blade on plastic stilts.

>>5681350
like wise... wound bled like hell
>pic related

>>5681491
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

My fingers slipped on a potato I was slicing with the mandoline and my pinky went between the blade and the potato. Clean slice. Doesn't look bad, and it wasn't, but now when I play piano there is this annoying ache beneath the scar tissue. I'm hope that feeling disappears in another year or two. Luckily it was a single depth (not adjustable) mandoline that only does a fairly thin slice.

Despite having shitty depth perception, the worst thing I've ever managed to do to myself in a kitchen was when I went full retard making tea and splashed boiling water all over the back of my hand. I've managed to escape with only a few nicks in my fingers knife-wise.

>>5681718
I made a similar cut with a knife on my index finger three or four years ago. It still hurts a bit after a while of playing guitar but not bad enough to stop me from playing. Still a bit of a nuisance.

>>5679847

still gotta core them, try this instead

>>5681718

Cover the area with a cyanoacrylate/superglue "cap" when you're playing the piano, typing, or anything else that requires putting pressure on a tender fingertip wound.

>mandolin
babby can't work a knife?

>nearly cut my pinky off trying to cut parmesan cheese when I was 10
that's it tho

>>5682584
>hurrdurr fast and effective is not real cooking

>working at a fast food chain because im an uneducated faggot, training the new girl
>she's pretty fucking stupid
>tell her to start prepping onions and tomatoes for the lunch rush
>takes a sharp knife and an onion literally starts smacking the back of the knife down on the onion
>she actually tried to cut the onion with the back of the knife, while slamming on the sharp end with her hand
>it takes her three chops before she realized she was taking chunks of meat from her hand
>i look on in horror as she starts screaming and crying
>there is blood everywhere and on everything
>no one is helping her, customers are recording it on there phones
>well a bandaid isn't gonna fix this shit, i wrap rags around her hand and drive her to the hospital
>car is covered with blood, it looks like i murdered a dozen hookers

>>5682584
crinkle cut me some fries, pronto, Captain Knife Skillz.

Even Alton Brown agrees a mandolin is a good thing, and he's rather harsh on kitchen gadgets, cutting or otherwise.

>>5679065
>spelling mandoline right on the first time

What site is this and what happened to my /ck/?

>>5682781
> He doesn't even have a crinkle knife

>>5682730
Out of curiosity what ethnicity was she? Were you the manager?

>5 year old me helping my mom cook
>sitting on a high stool doing something or other
>mom: anon, pass me the butter
>reach for butter, reach too far, fall off stool, post hand out to brace impact, break wrist instead.
at least it was my off hand. not sure what we had for dinner that night as they took me into the hospital.

>>5682871
pansy

>>5682781
>>5682584
Op here. I use a mandoline to make sauerkraut. I have fine motor skill issues, so a mandoline is much faster for shredding pounds and pounds of cabbage.

>>5682871
your parents seriously took you to the hospital because you fell off and hurt your wrist? lol

i once got hit by a car and sufferred a broken leg (as in bone popping out of skin) and a head concussion and my parents were still able to bandage me up at home. i turned out just fine

>>5683049

>>5682905
Fine looking kraut there.

>>5681396
...Keenan?

>>5683136
Kel?

>>5683049
i mean, just because your parents are fucking idiots and/or dirt poor rednecks who shun medical care doesn't mean >>5682871 's are. broken bones and concussions get taken to a doctor in a first world society, not given some 'tussin

>>5683145
lol, thinking back on it i imagine they didn't take me into the hospital because it was my dad who hit me (i was crossing the street late at night) and he was piss drunk coming home from the bar

but i'm sure if saved them a bunch of fucking money in medical bills

don't cook bacon while nekkid...

>>5679736
that's something i would do...

>>5681491
The worst I ever get is a cut when I'm careless cleaning the slicer. That thing scares the shit out me.

I once cut my middle finger down to the bone when I was trying to wipe it clean with a tea towel. I still cringe when I think about it.

>>5681718
I have that same thing on my thumb. I didn't cut it too deeply, but I got it right down to the uneven flesh part below the skin. I'm lucky it isn't my dominant hand or on the pad.

>>5682730
>chunks of meat
>smacking a knife down to cut thins


Jesus christ. HOW are people this fucking incompetent?

When I was new to cooking, I would always immediately try to cool down pans with lukewarm water so I could leave them to soak immediately. I wouldn't even dispose of the oil in the pans, I would just dump lots of water on them. I'm really not sure how I never got hurt.

Welp, I just got a mandolin recently mostly for French fry purposes. I had planned on just using the hand guard, but this thread convinced me to get cut resistant gloves.

>>5683273
Adding a little oil to a lot of water isn't a big deal. Adding a little water to a lot of oil is.

>>5679847
I bought a cheep one and kinda regret it, not adjustable and the blade kinda sucks, couldn't cut tomatoes

>>5683289
I mean mostly adding water to a lot of oil. When I first started cooking I was all about just dumping a shitload of oil into a pan, then adding whatever else and thinking I was a chef. Then, later, just dumping water into the boiling hot oil. I seriously don't know how I was never injured.

Was a food runner at On the Border after i got out of the Army, was bored at home. Anyway i reach over to move this fucking fajita plate that was just sitting on the tray line, and what i didnt know was that one of the beaner cooks had been fucking around and it somehow bounced over the retaining lip of the line. I grab it full palm and i hear my flesh sizzle. I worked with mortars so i wasnt too horrified. Just muttered "Gat dammit" and stuck it under coolish water while flicking the plate back over the line with a towel. Manager looked on in horror as i popped the gigantic fucking blister after it set, wrapped my hand and finished the night. No scar or nothing.
> But by god i got a scar on my hand when i was baking cheesey mac and touched my knuckle to the door

>>5683132
Thank ya. Here is a pic of my blaukraut.

I once worked with this guy (who said he's worked in kitchens before). It was his second day and I was teaching him how to butcher a quail. I handed him a chef's knife and told him to cut the heart out. He grabbed the knife and stuck it into his chest.

I ended up driving him to the hospital right then (at least I didn't have to close that night) and afterwards my car looked like I just slaughtered a cow in it.

Luckily he survived. The doctor told me that he just barely missed his own heart. I would have hired him back because it sounded like he had good knife skills, but he was bed-ridden for weeks

>>5682905
>>5683332

fffffffffffff

would obliterate

I fucking love anything fermented, I wish I didn't live in a glorified closet and had counter space to make stuff

Was in culinary school with a dude that lost all his finger tips to a mandolin trying to slice up shit too fast with no glove.

A friend of a guy I went to school with opened a can and let the sharp serrated edge sticking upwards and then he turned to grab something and when he turned back he sliced his wrist open on the edge.

>>5683641
I can tell how it was done (you can see his knuckles) but how do you get such realistic looking fake fingers?

>>5682581
Thanks for the suggestion, I will try it.

>>5683656

>>5679065
Is it a close call when you actually fuck yourself up?

I sliced the tip of my thumb off while slicing an onion with a dull knife in May or so. It kind of reattached itself but I still don't have feeling back in it fully.

I've poked and cut myself many times, though I have always remembered to use the handguard on a mandolin.

>>5681474

BTW - my aunt, a workplace insurance adjuster, has told me that the #1 commercial/restaurant kitchen injury is using a mandolin without a hand guard.

>>5679103
>the first 1/3 inch of their finger tips
Yep, and that's what I lost.

>>5681396
>grill
Was the BJ warm?

>>5681459
>Keeping autism weird.

This is my mandolin. Super good.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0000632QE/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B0000632QE&linkCode=as2&tag=ddrtrailogfro-20

>>5683338
what

>>5683672
partial to full metal construction myself

>>5679065
also, dont forget your helmet guys.

>>5683733

Holy fuck these stories.

Worst I got is young dude cut an avocado in half and was trying to remove the pit by whacking it with his knife and pulling out.

He missed and cut his finger almost to bone.

middle toenails.op's pic. gard yorr feet.balancewalkingndrunnining/fightorflee. getsome good shoes otboots I seesomeonewearing spiked heals or boots> 1 inch=pfd(prettyfucvkingfumb

>>5682730
>it takes her three chops before she realized she was taking chunks of meat from her hand
HOW

>Work as manager in fairly well known restaurant
>Jamaican fry cook (fuck if I can spell his name) is an annoying piece of shit all the fucking time
>Being especially douchey that day
>Broil cook (mexican named Juan) tells him to shut the fuck up
>Fry cook starts bitching to me and other manager on that "Pablo is being an asshole"
>Kitchen manager tells him to stfu and stop being a racist prick
>Calls Juan, Pablo for the rest of the shift
>11pm we close in an hour Juan asks for crispy potatoes from fry cook
>Fry cook proceeds to throw them at him one at a time
>Juan starting to loose his cool, tells fry cook to fuck off back to Jamaica
>Fry cook tells walks up to him and throws the rest of the potatoes in his face
>Juan picks up a fajita skillet (350 degree piece of hot metal) with a towel and slaps the fry cook across the face with it
>13 hours in a hospital and a police report later Juan got fired
>They found weed in the fry cooks urine so he was too

>>5683913
>mfw the image of an angry spic bricking a nigger in the face with a skillet

>>5682805
who the fuck would manually cut chips with a knife en masse?

>>5683930
I have legit never seen a pic of this guy on /ck/ or any other place on fourchan and just watched some vid of him trying to eat fanned hamburgers.

This is one of those little things in life that makes me believe coincidence is just a word used to keep people from realizing they are part of something greater.

Like a crazy mathematical formula.

>>5683965
*just watched about a half hour before posting here and it was the first time seeing this dudes vids. Or vid because the one I watched sucked he didn't even take his shirt off.

Mcspookydonaldsme

>>5679080
Something similar happened to me as well, recently.

Except I got a splash of hot oil right in my eye, right on my sclera.

>>5683965
>>5683968
He has dozens of fantastic videos. Best ones are where he vomits or films himself on the toilet.

>>5683163
So your father is a dumb cunt. Got it.

>>5682730
fake. i can not believe there exists people that stupid.

>>5681405
Nigger, it's not you that you have to watch out for, it's every other dumb motherfucker.
>hurr durr it's okay only smart people get to change the oil
What happens when Dipstick McFuckface who does the dishes bumps into someone on accident while they're doing it?
Fuck you. I hope someone in your kitchen gets hurt and you get fucked in the ass for your negligence and incompetence.

>>5683997
It's fake because
>fast food
>prepping onions

>>5684004
Wendy's preps their tomatoes onions and lettuce.

>>5683163
Would help if you moved to a first world country with lessened or no medical bills than stay in your pisshole country, redneck.

>>5681491
STOP!
ENOUGH!

>>5679103
My finger tip got burnt off by a firework fuse a few years back. Grew back nicely :)

>>5679736

>Electric stove with exposed coils

what

>>5684165
Like this one, I figure.

>>5683341
If you have room for a mason jar, you can ferment on your counter.

>>5681491
>from about halfway down her pinky to almost her elbow now has a sandwhich meat thick piece of meat and skin and dangling off her arm and shes screaming

i hate you for being so vivid

sounds like something out of a horror novel :(

>>5683985

I watched the one where he ate two chocolate bhutlas and poured a gallon of milk on his head and used a fire extinguisher on himself to try to ease the pain.

I don't think he was faking it either. The oil in those peppers is crazy.

>>5679065
Anyone have any recommendations for a madoline? I've never worked with one directly (only seen them used on tv), but I've been wanting to get one.

>>5682730
>>5683792
? ? ?

>>5683142

>>5679065
this has somehow made me cringe more than anything I've ever seen in countless gore threads

>>5683338
underrated post

>>5684541
America's Test Kitchen recently did a review of mandolines. Their top pic was the Swiss Borner v-slicer. I bought it and couldn't be happier. I'm sure with a quick google search you could find the ATK article online describing how they tested the mandolines and why they picked the Borner.

>>5684585
+1 on this product. bought 1 about 8 years ago, I use it quite often and still sharp as hell

>>5684585
Op here. This is exactly the brand and model I use. Obviously, it's very sharp. Use the hand guard.

>>5681491
Jesus.

My mother is a walking disaster sometimes.

>mom decides she wants to have a cookout
>charcoal grill, mom has no idea what to do with it
>none of my brothers really had a father figure so they have no idea what to do either
>mom keeps squelching lighter fluid on the charcoal, complaining that its not working
>must've put at least 3/4 of the bottle into the charcoal
>she thinks the lighter fluid will light up the charcoal for some reason
>finally decides to throw a lit match onto the grill
>her face when she no longer had eyebrows

At least she laughed about it afterwards and her eyebrows grew back later.

>>5685797

Another story starring mother dearest:

>no one taught her how to really cook growing up (she grew up in foster care)
>adobo, lawry's seasoning salt, and sazon everywhere
>teaches me how to 'cook' at age 12
>tells me to test if I over-salted the chicken by licking my fingers that's been touching the RAW FUCKING CHICKEN
>do it pretty frequently since I end up the one normally cooking, sometimes the chicken is undercooked but mom says that its okay because sometimes steak is underdone
>one day become violently ill
>can't get up from bed, in severe pain, vomiting and shitting everywhere
>doctor tells mom I've contracted salmonella
>"but she hasn't eaten salmon, doctor."
>he explains that it came from eating raw chicken
>her face when

i've taken bacon grease to the eye twice now, dont ask me how

>>5685797
>>5685814
woah

>>5681420

I've had the handles break on too many buckets to even want to think about this.

>>5685814
>>doctor tells mom I've contracted salmonella
>>"but she hasn't eaten salmon, doctor."

>>5681491
>work as a butcher
>using band saw
>always wonder how easy it would be to slice my head off in a saw that goes through beef femur like it's nothing
>we always joke about sticking our heads into the band-saw, kinda like saying "kill me" or "fml"
>a while ago, before I started working there some dude got his hand pulled into the saw because he had a cut glove on while cutting something
>the dude basically bisected his hand down to the wrist

>>5685814
>>5685880

>>5683930
>the image of an angry spic bricking a nigger in the face with a skillet

>>5685797
>>5685814
are you black?

>>5685929

I'm half black, half hispanic

>>5685939
gross

>16, work at Little Caesars
>Get the privilege of chopping veggies for prep
>Get taught how to cut onions, green peppers
>Get pretty gud at it
>One morning be slicing green peppers and someone calls my name
>Look up and slice the majority of my left index fingertip off
>Just bandage it up, got sent home shortly after
>Just whined about not being able to play guitar correctly for a while
I was pretty dumb. What IS the proper way to hold something while slicing. Knuckles forwards? Fingernails forwards?

>>5685939
i knew it

>>5685939

...and female to boot! Learn to enunciate, kid, and you'll go far!

>>5683250
how?

are mandolines sharper than normal knifes?

I don't have any good knifes, but how can some 20 dollar thing slice carrots without any effort?

>>5685947
Knuckles forward, with your fingertips tucked back and your thumb as far away from the blade as you can manage. Use your knuckles as a guide against the broad side of your knife as you cut.

>>5684158
When i was 10 I grabbed a fireckracker that had been already used but it still had fuse and gunpowder so I figured it would still be good to use.

The instant I lighted it it exploded on my hand, blew off my left index and middle fingertips, got some shrapnel on my chest and lost a fuckload of decibels in my left ear.

Surprisingly I healed back up fine, only have the scar on my chest and I'm not sure about the hearing. I think it's ok for a raver.

>>5686031

At first they're sharper, and they cut faster because they are set up to make all of your cuts the same size so you're not fighting with coordinating both hands and eyeballing cut sizes every time.

They become dangerous when they stop being sharp and you have to force it a bit. Combine that with the fact that (in a restaurant) the guard disappears within the first three months, you have people forcing their hands towards a semi-sharp blade. I mean, you could sharpen it, or fashion a new guard, but who has the time?

>>5682250
Yeah, along with playing piano I also play guitar and I'm lucky it's not the other pinky because that is the one I press the strings with. A guitar string dead center on a scar ache sounds bothersome as all fuck. By comparison, I have it easy for pressing on piano/keyboard keys.

>>5686056
I know what you mean about forcing your hand

when I was using it and you had a big onion it would work really well, but with small ones you didn't have that momentum with all the weight

what is this "guard" thing? is that the thing you hold with spikes to grip the veggies?

I guess I would use one of those gloves they use for feeding sharks if I was going to use this a lot

>>5685939
What color did you come out? What state are you from? Just curious

>>5686117

My guess is light black (mocha), with non-black facial features, except slightly larger than normal lips, and Texas. Close? Post pics.

>>5686034
Cool I'll practice that. THanks yo

>>5683273
That's called deglazing and is perfectly fine.

>>5683913
Juan will never make fajitas in a restaurant ever again. ;_;

>>5679065
I used to remove lost bits from the toaster with a fork.

>>5679065
Accidentally spilled a baine marie full of boiling water on my thigh

A few layers of skin came off, then it scabbed, then blistered and now I just have a gross ass scar there

>pic related, this was my leg 5 days after burning myself

>don't want to wash my cutting board
>just slicing some vegetables on a paper towel
>it accidentally touches one of the stove coils that's on
>catches fire of course
>grab the paper towel by the other corner and throw it to the ground
>have 2 cups of water in a measuring cup right there
>pour
Floor onions and tomatoes don't taste any different than regular ones.

alway pay attention when chopping chives with your brand new ceramic knife.

>>5688163
>buying a ceramic knife

>>5683965
dude
we all watch the LA beast but there is an understanding amongst the inner circle not to mention his name or publish his liking or image

>>5688176
it was a gift and it's pretty okay tbh

>>5688198
Until it gets dull and you can't sharpen it.

>kneading bread in a bowl on a glass table that has a small crack on the side of it
>suddenly half the fucking table detaches and slams straight down towards my feet

It gave me a pretty jagged cut on the side of my foot, but nothing too bad. There's a scar there, but all I can think is that if my foot was one inch closer, I'd have either ended up in the hospital or just bled out and died in my kitchen. The table is heavy as hell, like an inch of solid glass, and I practically THREW it at my feet by pressing down so hard while kneading my dough. It also slightly scraped my other leg, and I don't even want to imagine what would've happened if that leg was a little closer too.

My new kitchen table is made of 3 inch thick Playskool style soft plastic

I woke up past midnight craving a drink, so I headed out to the kitchen. Step in, for some reason my moms in there in just her underwear and that scares the shit out of her because I was "sneaking"
she ended up pulling out a shelf from the door of the fridge that had pickles on it, it shattered and she cut her foot kinda bad. it smelled like vinegar and dill for a while in the kitchen which was nice.

I once was grating cheese and took a big chunk out of my knuckle. Stung really bad for hours. It wasn't so much as regular pain, just an insane amount of stinging.

>>5688254
why did you do it at the table and not the counter?

>>5688277

My counter's not much of a counter. My kitchen's very small and the best place to do anything was at the table

>>5682549
Those things probably take longer to use than peeling with a knife.

>>5681312
That scream ;_;

>>5683338
>iktf

>>5682730
>it takes her three chops before she realized she was taking chunks of meat from her hand

>>5685851
How?

>>5682871
This reminds me when I fell down the stairs, but only like 3 steps, and my arm swung around and hit the railing. Had a mean fracture in my arm, and my sisters didn't believe I was actually hurt just faking it. Sat there for like an hour before they realized I was actually in pain.

>>5682730
>it takes her three chops before she realized she was taking chunks of meat from her hand

>>5679103
Yup.

I've sliced the tips off two of my fingers.

the most recent one was 2 months ago, and aside from looking very pink and raw, it's growing back rather nicely.

all I did was use some medical glue to glue the sliced bit back on, and it grew back.

The sliced off bit died and dried up, but it acted as an artificial scar, so I don't have and notable scarring on the fingers.

>>5681459
whatever man, it's you skin and flesh.

Is it that fucking vital that you can't just switch off the deep frier FIRST, go wipe down the cooking area and take out the trash maybe and give it like 15-20 minutes?

FUCK MY IMAGINATION

I'M OUT

THIS THREAD IS FUCKING WITH ME BAD

>>5688426
its not vital but neither is it vital to wait, Ive done it with 2-3 fryers twice a week for years with no issues. Just dont be a retard and youve got nothing to worry about

>>5679582
my nightmare

>>5688163

>>5685814
>"but she hasn't eaten salmon, doctor."

That one snuck up on me.

>>5688163
Cutting through the nail is the worst shit.

>>5681354
hmm
is it like a thing to clean the fryers after?
We leave the oil in our fryers overnight, to cool down and then clean them out before service starts in the morning.

>our restuarant has this ROP thing where people from highschool work as free slave labor.
>some girl is chopping shit with a freshly sharpened knife
> bad hand placement her fingers are stretched out all the way
>some one calls her name
>she looksup
>"huh"
>chops off three of her fingers

>>5688551

Poor morning crew.

I've always done my fryers hot, immediately after service. I don't know what's with all of these guys who leave it to cool down.

>>5679065
fucking close one

>>5688568
incompetence mostly

You're a huge faggot for not being able to use a MANdolin

>>5683185
I do, just be more careful

>>5688568
I guess it's a thing, My work its mandatory to do it, or you're gunna be a hated crew, I do it, cuz I got nothing else to do

>>5685885
Fucking this. I work in a grocery store, our meat department used to have a band saw as we used to actually cut our own meat. Dude split his arm to the elbow, no more band saws company wide.

>>5688163
How is that possible?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=Ydc_SaQ_eRQ#t=86

>>5690938
>cutting tomatoes with a bread knife
i need to try this

Taken the tips off a finger on 2 separate occasions on one of these bad boys.

Spent the next 9 hours of my shift changing the bandage inbetween serving cunts.

>>5690989
do you work at Arby's?

>>5679065

CUT YOUR GOD DAMN FINGERNAILS BEFORE YOU COME INTO MY KITCHEN!!

sick fuck

>>5691002
implying im not captain hook

My mother owns one of those Ninja food prep fuckers. Friend of mine thought it'd be funny to drop the blade down the back of my shirt while I was sitting down. I didn't realize what it was at the time, so I leaned back into my chair like a retard, to ask him what he put there. It ended up going into my back.

Nothing serious, but there was some blood on my shirt and my chair. I haven't spoken to that dumbass in years.

>>5690994
No, I used to work at a delicattesen.

>>5691002
Surely you mean BITE your fingernails?

>>5684165

Loads of older stoves are like this. My house used to belong to my grandma. She bought the oven that's in it in the 1940's. It has exposed coils (which I have scratched the fuck out of from making stovetop popcorn).

>>5681491

This is so true.

Convection steamers can be pretty dangerous if they're old and tend to malfunction, as ours does.

>cook shuts off steamer, goes to grab pan of veggies from it
>steam spontaneously starts jetting for no fucking reason
>skin from his hand to his elbow just falls off

I had an experience like his, but nowhere near as bad. Just my arm. By the end of the day, that blister wrapped around my upper wrist to the other side of my forearm. It looked fucking sick.

>mfw I had to treat it on my own because we get drug tested for work place injuries, and I smoke
>mfw my neighbor saw it, sent his girlfriend and kids over to gawk at the blister

My co-workers were cool and hooked me up with some silver sulfadiazine after I drained it. Shit didn't even scar.

>>5691154
Fuck I wanna poke that

>>5691154
steam burns are only second to melted sugar burns

>>5679103
*upvote*

Wow, thanks for the science porn!

TIL:Amazing factoid: A human can regenerate the first 1/3 inch of their finger tips after injury. Anything after that will never grow back.

Upvote, good sir!!!

You, sir, are a scholar and a gentleman!!!

>>5691154
What the fuck? Make your workplace replace that piece of shit.

>>5681354

damn... and here I thought people wore the chef whites because they would be easy to pull off before it would do something like this

>>5692498
okay calm down billy before you hurt yourself

>>5683656

nigga I'm a magician and I will tell you those are standard finger tips, like the thumb tips you would find in novelty stores and such, they actually work on fooling people, also these are not plastic but maybe vinyl

>>5690551
>Dude split his arm to the elbow
how do you even do that

Fuck this thread is still going?

>>5692956
bump :)

>>5692498
>being this mad

>>5692450

It was even more fun after I drained in the first time. Because it re-filled with pus, but only part of the way. And there was all that loose skin, so it just sloshed around inside there, like a partially deflated water balloon.

>>5692457

I know >.<

>>5692506

Ha.

Haha.

You're funny.

>>5685814
>>5685797

>>5686034
If you find that it's hard to cut this way (your knuckles can't hold what you're cutting from moving around all over the place), your knife is likely not sharp enough.

>>5688204
Which is why you should've bought all of the ceramic knives when they were a dollar a piece on closeout in dollar tree a few years back.

Based dollar ceramic knife cuts better than scary sharp $200 knife

>>5696877
Yup. When I have to deal with shitty dull knives at work, I just put my free hand on top of the knife and go to town. My thinking is that this reduces the chance of injury via knife slippage, and the extra weight on top helps your crap knife to actually cut through things.

>>5696921
You might want to try these if your work won't pay for knife sharpening.

I've used them instead of dull knives and they work better. Brunoise is a pain in the ass but it was much better than with a dull knife. The technique is a little different, though. Be prepared to burn your eyes if you cut onions.

http://www.dollartree.com/household/kitchen-dining/flatware-cutlery/Royal-Norfolk-Stainless-Steel-Steak-Knives-2-ct-Packs/500c526c531p326326/index.pro

>>5682730
I hope she died and didnt procreate

>>5696974
We go through a company that rotates and sharpens our stock of knives, but nobody in my kitchen knows how to hone or otherwise take care of their knives, so they go to shit within a week. I've been thinking of buying a bunch of cheap Kiwi knives to bring with me to work.

>>5696998
That sucks. I would bring my own cheap knives if I had to deal with stupid shits that make work more difficult and dangerous like that. I figure that it's better to spend some money vs taking an extra risk. I don't know if cut resistant gloves would be appropriate in your kitchen but you could try those as well.

In the past, I've bought my safety equipment when the things provided were shit. I know that no one else gives as much shit about my own safety as I do.

>>5697044
I just went ahead and ordered three Kiwis from Wok Shop (one 7-inch chef's knife, one 6-inch pointed utility knife, and one pairing knife). Any idea where to get a cheap knife roll?

>>5697128
You could try looking here as some of these are for kitchen knives (I saw some of the same models on amazon so you could check the price there):

http://www.knifesupply.com/eshop/10browse.asp?category=other%20knife%20sheaths&ReturnTo=http://www.knifesupply.com/knife_sheaths.html

You could try looking at tool rolls as well. I don't know if knife wraps in particular are made with a cut and pierce resistant material so that might be something to consider. I assume you could just put blade covers on and then wrap it as well.

This one is pretty cheap but since it's from harbor freight, it probably has that distinctive odor so you might want to air it our first.

http://www.harborfreight.com/14-pocket-tool-roll-93828.html

Good luck, anon.

>>5697398
I found a cheap 4-slot roll on amazon. Will definitely look into getting some sheaths as well. Thanks for the help.

>>5681312
fuck me that was really graphic

thanks!

>>5688149
You have a cute leg

>>5679065
>living with a literal faggot and 3 other housemate in a shit house
>keep smelling something like dead fish after the fag used the kitchen
>went into the kitchen and can't find the source
>proceed to open a lot of windows and hope it goes away
>the next morning, the smell isn't here
>go to the kitchen to cook something up
>turns out he left the gas stove running all fucking night

and to think I almost died because of this fag's mistake.

he later invited his bf and then fucked on my bed when I am back home on christmas, morale of the story, never become housemate with a faggot.

>>5699004
the smell is still here*

>>5699004
>not recognizing the smell of natural gas

>>5687000
not when the pan still has oil in it

>>5694170
Not the anon from before, But look for another job. If your boss refuses to provide safe equitment, find another boss.

>>5699015
What's this from? I remember that guy being turned into a music video or something.