/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>5638217
fried chicken

>>5638217
Give him a taste of my people

A big heaping plate of Hydrogen Cyanide.

>>5638240
this with a fruit salad containing watermelon and bananas for desert

coffee and Newports

>>5638217
a bullet

We don't take kindly to his type 'round these parts.

>>5638217
double ipa and a 1/2 lb burger with an arugula side salad.

then i would sit down and eat the same thing with him and complain about how much trouble I have supporting a family on my shitty cook's wage (and how i work two jobs)

>>5638258
I feel you, we're the type to kill bueracrats around here

>>5638217
A stiff drink, a roofie and viagra, a camera and I get a protein shake.

How bout that obamacare now baby?

>>5638217

Fried chicken

I huge heaping bowl of kraft dinner, Hes not coming near my english muffins and eggs.
I guess he can have a bit of my iced tea if he is thirsty.

Well done steak with ketchup

>>5638217

I wouldn't cook for him. We would go to Manny's Deli in the South Loop and have mountian sized corned beef sandwiches or maybe pastrami. Say what you want about his leadership but the man knows his deli.

>>5638290

Nobody deserves that fate, Don't even joke about it.

A taste of Louisiana. We'd snack on the best boudin balls I ever had from Mr. Bills, down by the lake. Later on I'd cook him some crawfish etouffee with rice, topped with a few fried crawfish tails and a fried catfish fillet. The only Louisianian dessert I know of is bananas foster but I have no idea how to make that.

>inb4 begniets
>begniets aren't dessert

>>5638293
you really think o bammy eats regular joe food he eats high on the hog. And only does this for a photo op.

>>5638217
fried chikum an waddymelon obvs

>>5638339

>you really think o bammy eats regular joe food he eats high on the hog.

No I think he eats his secret muslim food cause he is really from muslim land and doesnt have a birth certificate and personally orchestrated Benghazi. Either that or he enjoys mexican food which is why he lets all of them in.

really? The man spent a lotta time in Chicago, I'm gonna guess he enjoys the occasional hot dog or corned beef sandwhich. Though he prolly never ate Harold's Chicken. Meanwhile Ronald Reagan ate a bowl of mush everyday, because thats what regular joes ate in the 80s.

I wouldn't. I would definitely not kill him though, because a.) that would make Biden president, and b.) it would make him a martyr. He needs to live, if only so one day history will show him to be the complete shit president that he is.

The only reason people idolize Kennedy is because he was killed. If he'd lived, then more people would talk about how he got the US into Vietnam, cheated on his wife, was in cahoots with organized crime, and generally sucked balls. But a martyr is untouchable.

So this nigger must live. For the hope of America, he must live.

a big plate of bacon and ham for that Muslim fuck

>>5638244
Thats so good, im half jamaican and my grandmom makes ackee and saltfish so good. With some plantains and sweet yam

>>5638271
Get a profitable skill then, instead of bitching about: zomg I'm underpayed :CCCCCCCCCC

Fag.

>>5638395
/pol/ please go.

Banquet microwave dinner.

Nothing, I get a bottle of whiskey out and two glasses and we talk about the state of America and what we both could do to make it better

Peanut butter sammich and a glass of whole chocolate milk

>>5638217
Nothing but dairy products.
>fondue
>cheese sandwiches
>cheese board
>tall glass of whole milk
>ice cream

Niggers can't handle much lactose
Oh, and I would make sure he gets food poisoning.

>1 day later get killed by CIA

>>5638456
I like you.

>>5638217
coal-roasted eggplant with yogurt and sumac sauce Put that on a naan or pita something.

Why would I cook for him? I'd just order him a cab to KFC.

>>5638456
Good choice, Obama is a notorious drinker, every night he pretty much drinks himself to sleep.

That's why nobody 'knows' where he was when the Benghazi shit went down, he was passed out drunk when it happened at like 1 in the morning.

>>5638438
thank you

>>5638456
>implying either one of you can make the country better even if you wanted to

He's a puppet in case you haven't noticed. All presidents are.

This guy right here. Jesus christ. And there are really people that think like that too. As if the president is there to do good instead of take orders from huge corporations that got him there, just in case you were joking.
>Y-yeah. The Affordable care act is there for you...this isn't in the best intrests of government and insurance companies! We CARE about poor people, dammit! It's different this time guys, just trust us and don't try to understand the bill.
>I signed the NDAA because I love you guys. Being able to detain Americans without a trial is what keeps you safe at night.
>I extended the Patriot act, you know, that thing yall hated Bush so much for and I said I wouldn't do it? Well, it has more Hope and Change now, so it's cool...I mean I smoked weed before, so I'm cool, just like you young people! Folks!
Hehe...so what can we do to improve the country, Mr. President?
Then you pour him another glass of whiskey that he doesn't drink, he feeds you some more shit about "Hard workin' folks", you suck his dick or whatever you wanna do, he leaves and goes back to not giving a single fuck about you.

>Feeding Obama anything but fast moving copper coated lead, year of our lord 2014

>>5638217

We go out for Gyros

>>5638566
inb4 /pol/, good on you m8

>>5638559
I don't blame him alcohols the shit and when you have a shitty job you have to drink it helps you to get by

Dessert Mac&Cheese

ramen cos i'm poor

A giant Stouffer's frozen Lasagna

>>5638566
Listen I'm not here to argue with you, I get where you're coming from, we're all powerless and shit, that's great, but fuck it if he's a puppet that just means he has strings maybe me and uncle whiskey could then get ahold of those strings. Who knows what would happen then

>>5638551
I like you too if you're a fan of whiskey drinking :)

>>5638584
the greatest power anyone has is to destroy themselves. The side most willing to do that will always lose.

>>5638588
wrong, its the bums who will always lose

>>5638584
I remember when I still had actual hope too. :'(

I guess all joking aside, if Obama really wanted to eat dinner in my little shitty house, I'm sure it would be cleared of weapons and any threats at all and be crawling with security/secret service so I wouldn't have a choice but to just be a dick to him instead and not cook shit. Then after they all leave I would go outside and see the empty streets due to all the roadblocks it took to drive the president here sense they are treated with as much security and caution as hydrogen bombs.

>>5638217
I slam my door in his face as soon as he shows up on my front porch and call him a nigger through it.

laced cyanide

>>5638613
Be better to direct him to the back door then give him a dog bowl with some grits.
If you're gonna take that path.

Steamed hams!

I'd ask him what he wants to have, then heat up a cheap freezer meal version of it, and charge him for it plus extra because "some people ordered huge meals but didn't bring any money"

>>5638431
>everyone can be a winner XXDD
>peons don't need to exist for certain industries to be profitable XXXXDDD
Dumb fuck.

>>5638566
Fucking spot on

>>5638217
Um whatever I plan on having for dinner I don't really give a shit about the dude I say that now but I'm sure if it was actually going to happen I'd make a big deal out of it maybe order some shit from a fancy restaurant and I'd try my hardest to get him shit faced

The toasted carcass of a Pakistani child?

>>5638974

/ck/ - Child Killers

>>5638217

Justice

>>5638217

>>5638244
I respect your answer. It shows that you aren't yet another dumb America that says things on the internet for shock value.

Great thing about being an aussie is that all I need to do is throw another shrimp on the barbie.

>>5638217
I would buy him a Toyota. And then get me something to drink. Possibly a water.

>>5639000

>people are criticizing my godking
>oh no better pretend i'm above them, that's what Obongo would do

Fucking libs on /ck/ man, it's hilarious.

I'd pretend I was out of food. I'd also pretend my front door was broken so he had to come in the service entrance.

Boerenkool met worst

>>5638566
THE JEWS ARE BEHIND IT ALL!!!!1

I'll serve him what I'd cook for my family. Leg of lamb with Apple wine reduction. Mashed potatoes, probably red skinned. Broccoli and Kale salad. Rye rolls. Tea to drink. We differ greatly in political thought but a guest is still a guest.

Pizza

>>5638293
>they've got their elbows on the table
for god sake

>>5638339
I hear its boose and steak night every night at the white house since he took office

>>5638240
>>5638258
>>5638283
>>5638362
>>5638427
>>5638395
EPIC ONES BROS!!!!!!!

>>5639090
He is portraying the relatability for the common man.

>>5638217

Bald eagle

>>5638217
Michelle.

>>5639126
Please be easily offended somewhere else

>>5638217
Probably something vegan. I hate Obama.

>>5639126
offended by seeing the same joke 6 times?

>>5638217
arsenic biscuit

>mfw the last time a thread like this popped up, the resident SJW libfag mod banned me for saying I'd make him eat a bullet

>>5638217
Whatever ratpoison recipe i can find online

I start by seating him with a bowl of assorted nuts, and call him a cannibal when he eats one of the innocuously placed "Brazil nuts."

Then we have a laugh, dine on the best meal of Southern comfort food I can manage, and shoot the shit over some E&J.

Gumbo

FUCK THAT

RON PAUL COMES KNOCKING ON YOUR FUCKING DOOR BECAUSE HE'S HUNGRY AS SHIT, BEING A SKELLINGTON AND ALL

THIS IS OF COURSE AFTER YOUR WIFE FALLS TO THE GROUND AND BEGS FOR FREEDOM INSIDE HER

WHAT DO YOU FEED THIS WONDROUS MOTHERFUCKER?

>>5639090
Oh fuck off.

>>5640105
anything he wants, if I dont have it Ill go buy it.

>>5639126
;_;

>they made fun of black jesus omg im so insulted

;_; ;_; ;_;


Get thicker skin, faggot.

>>5640105
he talks the talk, but doesn't walk the walk

so gringo mexican?

>>5639126
what's wrong with fried chicken? i thought everyone liked fried chicken

>>5638217
white women.

>>5638217
His family, ground into sausage. I'll tell him after he gets done eating.

>>5640130
THE FUCK YOU JUST SAY, FAGGOT?

FREEDOM WILL BE RINGING IN EVERY ONE OF YOUR LOVER'S SEXUAL ORIFICES. FEEDING TEXMEX TO THE PAUL IS HERESY.

I'd probably feed him chicken alfredo lasagna though.

>>5640143
You're probably fat like Cartman, too

>>5640176
No actually I'm just big boned.

>>5640180
You're all right

>>5638572
I shouldn't know this feel, but I do.

That's also the reason why I started drinking coffee to not fall asleep.

>>5638863

>>5638217
Castor beans.

Okra, sweet potato pie, fried chicken, collard greens, cheesy grits.

>>5638572

>>5638217
Dead Libyans and Syrians.

>>5638217
Roasted duck with a lemon-red pepper glaze

Side spinach salad, goat cheese, grape tomato, red onion, balsamic vinegarette.

Desert: baked brie with apple butter

When he leaves, I walk him out of my home. I stand at full attention and salute one of the greatest men to hold the Office of the President of the United States of America.

I tell him what an honor it has been.

One day I will tell my grandchildren about this night.

I feel proud to be an American.

cicken

>>5638217

Leftovers.

It's what he got from the previous administration (afghanistaniraqgreat"recession")

But something nice for desert, like hand made vanilla ice cream with huckleberries and chopped toasted almonds...

>>5638217
hot dogs with ketchup

>>5638258
will I go to gitmo if I lol

Watermelon in a dog bowl.

>>5640105

Nothing. Why is this libraterian looking for mother fucking hand outs knocking on my door? Go back to be like a 4 time failed presidential elect, Eugene Debs marginal mother fucker. Better yet, go over to your asshole son, Rand's house.

However, if I had to feed him, it would be during a traditional passover meal cause I know how much he enjoys Matzo ball soup

>>5639062
>implying that garbage hole is pizza

>>5641589
>being uppity about pizza

>here have a year old hot pocket

Hamburgers, the national food. With big, thick slices of red onion and lots of mustard.

>>5638217
Ugali and purple drank.

>>5638217
A BURNING CROSS
WITH A SIDE DISH OF STRING
NIGGER

>>5638217
roofie him and then rape him

I'd never get caught because he'd never reveal his secret shame to anyone, meanwhile I am king of the world because I raped one of the most powerful men alive!

>>5639000
>I respect your answer.

>>5639015
>In during conservatives sucking Reagan's dead dick
>complaining about anyone who isn't in line to suck his dick next.

Fucking repubs on /ck/ man, it's hilarious

A Frikandel

Obvious choice I'd say.

>>5638217

a burrito made by an illegal alien aka weaponized foreigner (designed to implode america and get a dependent mass of voters who vote democrat for their sustenance)

>>5638566

>andah... uh... ah, folks in... every kinda neighbourhood, workin' hard... payin'... ah... payin' their bills. And that's what makes this country great. That, and the shining beacon of hope in the eyes of every, ah, of every parent, business person and teacher. From Sue down the road, just down there, strugglin' to make ends meet. From Bill, who I, uh, personally spoke with when I was campainin' down there, who's doing the best he can with uh, debts and two young kids. And, ah, that's what it's always been about, and my job is to make things easier for them. For you.

>more whiskey, mr. le president?

Ah, no, no thank you. Uh, ah... Well, thank you so much for graciously inviting me into your home.

*leaves house and the second the door is closed his mind is already activating the eraser tool as he gets ready for his next act*

Local bueberry (and possibly other berry, maybe some weird ones that would work) pancakes, bacon, and local maple syrup.

>>5638217
Nasi Goreng, Soto Ayam, and Satay.

>>5638217
an overdone flank steak and undercooked baked potato, to see if he can eat it with a straight face.

>>5638559
sauce?

Dried beans and rice.
Explain to him that thanks to increases in my personal taxes as well as the outrageous rise in insurance prices that my food budget is slashed and this is what has become the new average meal in my 2 person house hold.

>>5644008
He would totally switch that situation around to make it be positive to him.

>>5644016
Vegetarian, better for the environment, less global warming, etc.

Personal prosperity is kind of a thing of the past, and was never a real goal for Keynesian economics, which really sucks if you just want safety and happiness for you and your family.

>>5638217
Nothing because all that's there is an empty chair.

>>5638395
[sadness intensifies]

Spaghetti :3

>>5644033
>Personal prosperity is kind of a thing of the past, and was never a real goal for Keynesian economics,
>Keynesian

for fucks sake when will you republitards stop thinking president obama was born in fucking kenya?

he gave his legit birth certificate, let it go.

>>5638611
Explain to him that you cannot afford to feed useless people now that your health insurance premiums have doubled thanks to Obamacare.

Obvious answer is fried chicken. Maybe suh collard grans.

>>5641581
>based Jimmy Durante

>>5638217
West African Peanut Stew and Znoud El Sit.

>>5638217
some delicious slamon and rice with some other side.

hopefully sempai notice me if i play my cards right.

>>5638217
This.

>>5642957
Anon, that's a turd.

>>5643991
that looks great

>>5640105

I kick him and his hordes of sycophants to the curb, like the rest of America has to keep doing

>>5639054
dgw beste antwoord

>>5644877
I lol'd

>>5638571
>>5639057

Typical libtards, probably girls too. Love how the board with the biggest fem percentage is noticeably more shit and normalfag.

I'm not even a virgin you landwahles.

>>5638247
>>5638258
>>5638273
>>5638427
>>5638613
>>5638819
>>5638837
>>5638974
>>5638996
>>5639015
>>5645020

so edgy. now can we get answers from people with an understanding of politics that runs deeper than that of a particularly dim middle schooler? Protips: If you can summarize your political leanings with one word, you haven't thought about them hard enough. As the other anon said, both parties are hogs feeding at the same trough. It's been that way since Nixon. If you ever look around you and wonder why things keep getting worse, just stop thinking. Reduce everything to simplistic, binary labels. Because there are only ever two, absolute sides to any issue, and critical thinking is for communists, or whatever other group is the bogeyman du jour.

>>5645444
>Gun-fetishizing neckbeard detected
Sick fedora bro. Kudos for losing your v-card, but since you had to pay for it, it's really not something to be proud of.

I'd cook Obama a nice pan-fried steak.

>>5645466
I played the v-card so that you don't just argue with gun-fetishizing, neckbeard fat,fedora etc.

Disappointed! Hope you find a husbando who is more effiminated.

>>5638217
I'd ask him what he wanted, and since his economy has made me about 200,000 dollars in the stock market and home value over the last 4 years, i'd gladly cook him whatever he asked for.

>>5645478
Oh wow, and you have major issues with your insecurities about your identity too? How very surprising. Could you /k/ any harder? I still plan on calling you a fedora wearing, gun-fetishizing neckbeard, because you have done nothing to present yourself as anything else. Quick, better call me a lib-tard, because when you have the cognitive abilities and political awareness of a mollusc, that's an insult.

>>5645518
You are not even arguing, just insulting without any base.
That's just textbook

>>5645539
Disprove anything i have said. Show me that you possess a level of political understanding beyond regurgitation of canned lines spoonfed to you by pundits. Show me that you aren't insecure in your masculinity. I wasn't aware that this was an argument, btw. "Oh yeah, well you're a sissy girl" isn't included in any of the rhetorical strategies I'm aware of, but I'm sure that a rocket surgeon like yourself is far better versed in these matters than me.

>>5645547
It started being an argument as soon as you answered my post with nothing but insults which weren't even original or witty but just the same standard reaction you usually get from the people we call libtards. You did not leave a single Cliché, I did also not call you a sissy I just called you a girl you made it a sissy.

I'm probably far better versed in these regards than you, you correctly stated that but I'm also french, speak crappy english and really don't see myself disgussing a topic like politics with a girl that seems to part the world in black and white and then allege me of being ignorant.

I feel like especially women tend to have this " I don't want to see that, make it go away" stance when it comes to uncomfortable topics. Use this as a pun if you have to but know that this would only lower the niveau of this conversation further.

At the end I would like to know why I should prove my manhood to some random stranger? Could you prove your womanhood to me? Isn't the western society saying that man and woman are totally equal anyways?
That's just very primitive discussion culture isn't it?

>>5645600
"oh yeah, You're a girl" Still isn't rhetoric, chum. The dismissiveness is precious, but it is not going to help deflect you ignorance in this case, nor will your attempts to divert the focus of the matter. Here, i'll make this simple: You are a neckbeard with a gun fetish, and are politically retarded. Please refrain from talking politics when grown folks is talking.

>>5645604
You have anger issues, m8

>>5645463
>du jour.

Die in a fire

>>5645604

Cuntfrazzled woman detected.

>>5645604
This is a waste of time, I'm out.

>>5638429
I fucking love saltfish. Wish i knew a spot in Jamaica to get it. The resort I was staying had shitty restaurants surrounding it.

>>5638217
I would put out a bowl for him and crap in it. I would even give him a fork.

Alternatively, fried chicken and waffles.

Brie and a nice red port, maybe a sweet onion and some kind of cracker to go with it.

>>5638911

I giggled.

>>5638217
A leen slushie and some fried chicken.

>>5638217
I'd cook him a nice meal, what it would be would depend on the season, budget and what I already have in the way of groceries. But I'd cook a nice meal, just like I would for anyone who came to my house for dinner, because I'm not a ginormous faggot with no manners. Unless it's a criminal or someone who's committed terrible crimes against other people, then I just simply wouldn't open the door.

>>5646692
>Unless it's a criminal or someone who's committed terrible crimes against other people, then I just simply wouldn't open the door.
Not very politically aware, are we?

>>5646692

You seem more dense than a rock m8

>>5646715
>>5646699
go back to /pol/ faggots.

>>5646736
>disliking Obama makes you /pol/
Nope, not because he's a lying corporate mouthpiece, or that he supports foreign wars that leave countless dead while he and his blind shitsmear supporters slander Bush for doing the exact same thing. It's obviously because I'm an evil /pol/ nazi. Retard.

>>5638217
Skittles & Watermelon Arizona

>>5646751
>implying you're not an evil /pol/ nazi
If you weren't you wouldn't be here, shitflinging.
All politicians are corrupt, that's been long established. By crimes, I mean he hasn't outright murdered/raped/etc someone, with his own two hands. You're obviously too worked up into your anti-Obama lather to understand that you shouldn't take threads so seriously.

>>5646751
>not being aware that the president's entire purpose is to be just a stooge/scapegoat.

>>5646757
Just make the fucking lean

>>5646751
being an autist who derails threads into politshit makes you a troglodyte though

>>5645623
>I've lost this one and my ego won't let me admit this.
FTFY
Typical Fascist Stooge.

>>5639062
That's not a pizza, that's cold soup in a bread bowl.

>>5638217
God-tier fish soup
>White(meat) fish
>New potatos
>Shallots
>Stock
>Cream (ayy lmao racist)
>Parsley
>Salt and pepper

>>5646806
lean isn't skittles or fruit drink.

I don't know where retards got that from, it's sprite and jolly ranchers. Get it straight.

Sorry Barack, we're all out of halal fried chicken you crypto-muslim marxist prick

>>5648449
>TFW you have no idea what any of those words mean.
Politically, he's closer to Nixon, and for being a Muslim, he sure likes killing them with drones. Have you ever actually read Marx?

Something with Cyanide in it.

>>5648798
>I'm mad at a figurehead, everyone! Look at how edgy i am!

The ground bison from independence day, rosemary truffle popcorn and an oatmeal stout

That popcorn was the one upside to being stuck at SLC airport for six hours

>>5650247
This shit right here

>>5648798
Use ricin instead.

>>5638217
FREEDOM

>All these political answers.

>>5638217
A bowl of brazil nuts

>>5638217
Elephant.

a banquet frozen dinner meal

>>5646816
>implying that's not what OP wanted in the first place

about all I could afford would be eggs

>>5645463

That's okay he'll be eating dinner at home soon when we get that fucker out of office. It's already over liberals. Just let go.

>>5645463
"Only my opinion matters, anyone that hates Obama is wrong and/or racist. He's the savior, I want to have his babies, you all suck, your opinion is WRONG wah wah wah"

This is how you sound

nothing.

He promised change but he was just a politician douchebag.

He gets an empty plate and a blank stare. His royal chefs can fix him a plate of anything he wants in his majesty's royal chambers

>>5653552
How you got that out of a post calling for an end to partisan nonsense and the two party system, I will never know. Are you from one of the states where they teach young earth creationism as science or something?

>>5653604

Protip: both sides suddenly call for an end to partisan politics when they're on the bad side of an argument. When they're in their safe little internet hugboxes it's "fuck the other side, fuck their ideas, this is our planet, we're running shit" but when they venture into free speech land, they suddenly realize it's the deep end and they can't swim. So they call for peace and lets get along because they don't want to be torn to shreds.

So enjoy that false sense of objectivity there you hippie piece of shit.

>>5653609
So very very angry, aren't we? You see a tree and assume the forest. I'll bet you wonder why no one takes your politics seriously,too?

>>5653609
Protip: you're an illiterate dumbshit spouting vitriol. Please switch parties. As a republican that reads at a level beyond a gradeschooler, I don't want to be associated with hateful rednecks that get their opinions spoonfed to them by talk radio. I hear the democrats always have openings for entitled idiots, though.

>>5653616
>rednecks
Every time someone uses the southern definition for this word I get a little sad. It's pretty much become the defacto definition and I cry myself to sleep at night.

>>5655642
yeah rednecks are nation wide not only in the south. its more of a country/city thing than a north/south thing, case in point: Michigan

and not all country folk are rednecks either there is a difference in good ole boys and rednecks

>>5638217
i'd give obama-kun a steaming plate of me ;)

>>5655642
Not all rednecks are southern, and not all southerners are rednecks.

Chowder made with the gmo corn he approved and water from that town in NJ where Ford dumped toxic crap and one of his shills covered it up getting her promoted to a high position in the EPA
Skittles on the side and koolaid to drink

feces

>>5638217

Italian bread with herb olive oil/balsamic antipasta.

Lightly pan-seared veal parmigiana with melted provolone, angel hair pasta for the baked marinara, a tossed field green salad with oregano olive oil dressing.

Served with a crisp red wine.

>>5655821

You are a pitiful excuse for a human being.

low and slow pig rectum

>>5653434
>You have to eat all the eggs

>>5638217
Poison because he's a faggot.

This is a hypothetical question CIA/FBI/SS whoever is monitoring my internet. This is not a serious response. Please don't visit as I already deal with enough shit.

>>5638217
Ramen and tin sausage because that's all I can afford ;~;

>>5657330
You're gonna get a visit from the YMCIA.

>>5657395
He should probably get some lube then.

>>5638217
your mom

>>5638217
chocolate cake...