/ck/ - Food & Cooking

that's pretty gross you lazy fuck

>>5592697
that you're a lying faggot

>>5592699

This.

>>5592698
thread/

>you disgust me anon

>>5592697
You DO know that can cause some pretty serious vitamin deficiencies and it won't just be like "I can eat whatever I want and lose weight"...right? It can make you really, really sick. Don't be an idiot.

Well that is fucking gross. Have fun when it gets to long and starts to fall out your ass.

>>5592707
I'm going to take multivitamins. Will I still lose weight though? I know I won't be able to just eat ice cream all day but I'm saying, will there be a calorie deficit to feed the worm?

>>5592713
The worm will eat the multivitamins.

Semen is high in life energy.

Hey faggot just eat less burgers and donuts holy shit. Not that hard.

>>5592697
just do some meth or buy some adderall

you stupid
fucking
retard

OP that's a bad idea, there's a reason why they're illegal

they can burrow deeply into your bowels and do really serious damage. not to mention you can poop them out and that's gross man

>>5592730
>OP that's a bad idea, there's a reason why they're illegal
What? Since when are they illegal?

Do you get charged for possession?

>>5592713
No. Any weight loss will be caused by malnutrition as >>5592717 implied.
Just think about it for a second. The average adult human requires 2000 calories per day to maintain a constant weight, and the average adult human weighs anywhere between 140 to 180 pounds.
A tapeworm weighs a couple ounces at the absolute most. No matter how big the worm, there's no way it's going to create a calorie deficit and help you lose weight.

>>5592741
So what you're saying is that it will work if we have more and bigger worms?

>>5592697
There's a video of a guy saying he could literally feel it wriggling around inside him when he first discovered he had one cause it grew so big.

>>5592697
Don't.

>>5592746
>There's a video of a guy saying he could literally feel it wriggling around inside him when he first discovered he had one cause it grew so big.


what the fuck

Just do a DNP stack you faggot.

>>5592708

>>5592925
eat clen n tren hard OP
>it works out perfectly since youre a cheating faggot

>>5592697
>>5592741
Yeah don't do it OP. Had an African friend who told me they cook all of their meat well done there to avoid any chance of tapeworm infestation.
Apparently they just keep eating and growing and multiplying the more food you eat, and those hooks can actually tear your bowel.

>>5592697
I watched a documentary about parasites once so I'm an expert in this subject. >>5592741 This is basically the case, the worms don't eat enough of what you do to make any impact, most people don't even notice they have worms until they start to shit out eggs, dead ones and mothers.

>>5593027

>>5592738
New Jersey had a tapeworm tax, but the Supreme Court determined that it was discriminatory because a lot of South American undocumented immigrants had parasites, so those sorts of charges are now unconstitutional.

BTW, OP, when tapeworms release their eggs, the eggs can migrate through your body and lodge in various organs, including the liver and even the brain. Not joking. It's quite dangerous.

Here's a news story on why you shouldn't hire illegal aliens to do your home cooking:
http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/bodyhorrors/2012/08/19/oy-vey-the-pig-tapeworm/
Or if you prefer an official medical journal source:
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/1495521

>>5592698
/thread

>>5592697
OP, about the second worst to happen is that they can be like tight dental floss in the small intestine, and can cause a torsion and resulting tissue death, so when they remove that piece of rotting flesh to save your life, you'll be left with an unsexy colostomy bag the rest of your life. The worst thing that can happen is having the little bugger break off somewhere or have some babies, which hit your bloodstream and go somewhere fun like your brain where it can't be removed. You want to understand just how deadly tropical diseases are, where you can die from raw fish, swimming in a river, or simply getting bit from a mosquito. This shit is serious. Your first world existence just doesn't understand how often it kills the poor.

>eat
>to lose weight

Are you american?

>>5593230
I'm not sure about the others but it's pork tapeworm that tends to go to the brain. However you have to ingest it in a very particular part of its life cycle. If your bowels are infected the eggs they pop out won't make it around your body and they'll be shat out.

>>5592697
You're an idiot and probably a troll.

It'll make you malnourished which is a big difference from losing actual weight.

On the upside, there's scientific evidence about intestinal parasites helping to regulate the stomach and GI tract to help prevent various lesion-causing aliments. I'd rather not put that to the test.

>>5592697

>OP here

>>5593420
>probably

>>5592697
And the chances it misses your intestines and goes into your bloodstream and grows in your brain/eyeball instead?
Kay

>>5592697
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lyFmeYqwAYs

Enjoy pulling it out when you no doubt neglect the massive parasite inside your digestive system.

>>5593427
lol'd

>>5593630
Some how worse than zit popping videos...

>>5593630
Really nice parents.

>>5592697
How about Cyanide?
I guarantee that you will loose a lot of weight within a year.

>>5592909
I can feel hard vegetables passing through my bowels if I don't chew them enough. It's pretty painful. You can imagine the feelings you would get if you swallowed something in OP's pic whole. Or is OP planning to just eat some tapeworm eggs and let them hatch inside? That might be more pleasant... slightly.

>>5593630
he's unpacking gauze not a fucking tapeworm
you're seriously retarded

>>5593630
what the fuck am I looking at here?

>>5594659
see
>>5594643

>>5594622
I knew some girls who used to buy illegal pills from mexico that were 'sterilized medical tapeworm eggs' so they wouldn't reproduce

yeah no one of them almost died from some sort of intestinal infection

>>5594690
>buying anything from mexico you'll put in your mouth
>ever

>>5594733
bimbos desperate to be size 00 will do anything.
plus it was high school
I like to think they'd learned since then but who the fuck knows

>>5594747
>>5594690

>>5594769
>no baths

Was bathing somehow linked to weight loss at one time?

>using tapeworm as b8

is this some kind of subtle meta pun?

>>5592697
Listen. I feel your pain. The tapeworm won't help you, it's a scientific fact. Rather than that why don't you try to have weight loss surgery, that's the most effective and permanent solution. Forget all the "broscience" "hey man, just start lifting and you can eat whatever you want" bullshit. Nothing will help you except the surgery, the pill (that turns white fat to brown fat) won't be available in the US until 2019.

>>5592697
do it faggot

>>5592697

You're going to die

>>5595130
"permanent" hahaha what a joke if you just suddenly take 200 pounds off it doesn't just remove his shitty eating habits. They will just gain it all back like nothing and think that they "tried their best"

>>5592717
>The worm will eat the multivitamins.

Jesus, this made me laugh so much (and puke).

I just imagine the worm laughing his long ass off in there when the guy throws down a multivitiman tablet thinking he's outsmarting him.

>>5592713

Why don't you take steroids too? Maybe you can create a breed of swole tapeworms and you can market them.

>>5595143
>op is taken over by tape worm
>tapeworm now shit posts on ck talking about how retarded this guy was

only in my dreams

>>5595150
>Tapeworm climbs out of OP's asshole at night to hang out with OP's friends who like to go clubbing
>Tapeworm takes over OP's life - OP's friends now prefer the company of the tapeworm
>OP is now known only as the tapeworm's "place of residence."
>OP gets foreclosed by the bank when the tapeworm parties too heard and goes backrupt
>OP ded

>>5595136
Nope. I was 450. I had the surgery 5 years ago. Duodenal switch. I've stopped losing at a nice, attractive, comfortable weight and haven't gained or lost a pound in almost 4 years, it's the best thing that ever happened to me. Plan to get a tummy tuck afterward though. and yeah, there are stomach problems, but they are awesome compared to being trapped in a prison of fatness

>>5592717
top kek

>>5595195
moar?

>>5595162
>cheating
>best thing that ever happened to me

consider death

>>5595216
he did, and then cheated it

>>5595161
lel'd

>>5595215
4th of july raid , thats all i have

>>5592697
>I am planning to eat a tapeworm to help me to lose weight.

just get stimulants faggot
i binge on adderall for finals week and i lose twenty pounds easy

>>5595227
>burgercock likes this

Eating a tapeworm wouldn't be likely to do anything. It's not that it will reassemble and come back to life inside you.

>>5595143
>>5595150
>>5595161
I love you, /ck/

But OP a shit troll or fatfuck. Just eat healthily and do portion control slowly.

>>5597046
thats packing