/ck/ - Food & Cooking

Boo.
Here's mine:
OP.

at least british women are good.

>>5508306
HEY you wanna hear a joke?
An Ameriburger walks into a Brit pub, but he can't understand anything they are saying.

>>5508310
what...the.. fuck....is that? Is it the leader of the Lollipop Guild?

>>5508310
u wot m8? i swer on me mum i'll fookin hit ya ead in m80

now let me sook ya dick m8

forkknife

>>5508310
i've thought female trolls only lived in Norwegian?

>>5508327
that sounds more like scotland...

Flags on /ck/ when?

>>5508327
This shits so cringeworthy

>>5508364
scotland is in britain

>Chip butty
>It's french fries on toast

This is british cuisine?

I love British chicks.
So hot and with a sexy accent.

>>5508889
>toast

you don't toast the bread for a chip butty m8

>>5508306
It really is awful

>>5508923
>putting condiments in shampoo bottles

>>5508310
Blimey

>>5508312
I lol'd

>>5508923
>American style mustard

But British cuisine is pretty decent. Not the best by a long way, but not that bad at all.

The problem is modern British cooking, more specifically that British people cannot cook for shit. Their understanding of cooking amounts to one or two dishes each from around ten or so different cuisines. Of course they can't possibly understand the nuances of each of these cuisines, the special techniques, the unique ingredients, the characteristic flavours and how they can be combined. This isn't necessarily a major problem, since authenticity isn't vital by any means. Unfortunately though, because all of these cuisines have a different flavor profile, they're all pretty much incompatible with one another.

So a good proportion of the ingredients bought by a Britbong will be used for precisely one dish. They'll have no idea how to use up leftovers, and no ability to mix up their cooking, interchange side dishes or experiment, because each dish they cook is its own isolated element, and none of them fit together at all. Ingredients are bought in small, expensive quantities and what's not used is thrown away. And a much higher proportion of the side dishes/etc has to be bought premade, as a Britbong cannot possibly hope to make the ten different kinds of near-identical bread they need for their ten different isolated dishes, among other things.

Ultimately, Britbongs do not cook by taking ingredients, using certain techniques to cook them, and combining them in ways that produce tasty results; they cook by taking a named End Result that they've eaten in a restaurant, and buying precisely the ingredients to make that dish. Having a repertoire spanning multiple cuisines is great, but only if you really do understand those cuisines, and haven't just learned a single shitty knock-off of one dish from each.

And that's why British cooking sucks. Not because the native cuisine is bland, but because the native population have a fundamental misunderstanding of how to cook.

>>5508306
What's wrong with British Cuisine? Curry is pretty good and nothing beats a Halal Kebab.

>>5508959
They just don't seem to have much respect for their food tradition, most can't even name 5 British dishes. As a result it gets no exposure abroad.

Well Excuse us for inventing just about everything useful, building an empire, creating the USA and single handedly beating the Nazi's, whilst all the Europoors sat about in the sun inventing fucking pasta sauces and related crap

>3+ threads a day on British cuisine.

Damn it feels good to be superior.

>>5508942
they're really obsessed with us

>>5509009
grandpa britain calm down, you know how your heart acts up when you get rustled.

>>5509020
>not obsessing over ur chubby daughteru

>>5509009

lol i love his

>>5508923
Do Brits really do this?

>>5509035
it's dive food, the serve shit like that at lazy/cheapass shitholes across the globe such as school cafeterias.

>>5509035

yeah cheesy chips are fairly popular tho i havent seen it done with american slices before

>>5509035
no

>>5508306
Yep, pretty accurate. I can't wait to get out of this shithole.

>>5509035
'Cheesy Chips' are served in fish and chip shops, though they normally put prepackaged, grated cheddar on them - It really is terrible though and only drunk people and children order it.

>>5509221
>'fish and chip shops'
>children in chip shops
Confirmed for not British.

>>5509225
I said 'fish and chip shop' because perhaps people might not get 'Chippy', and children are in there all the time.

pic related the road I live on, few miles out of Liverpool I hate it here a lot, the accent is repulsive. Nice weather today.

>>5509221
>>5508923
>>5509215
why are British people too retarded to melt the cheese?

>>5509247
I think the point is supposed to melt from the heat of the chips.

>>5509259
Is it's*

>>5509234
>Liverpool
There's your problem, then. Come join the glorious Yorkshire master race and bask in the superior food, landscape and people.

Seriously, the further into the country you get, the better the food and ingredients are. There's at least four watermills here churning out flour, the one I buy from has been in place since the 13th century. As well as that the fruit and vegetables are of much higher quality and the meat is available directly from the farmers themselves. I buy my cakes, scones, biscuits, jam, dairy and the like from a farmer's wife called Shirley with a dozen grandchildren. It's an idyll.

>>5509247
I was going to reply that the picture is clearly atypical of British food, but then I saw the 'why are British people too retarded' and I realised I must be dealing with someone as monumentally and irreversibly dense to announce that 63 million people are retarded that I decided to call you a dickhead instead.

>>5509247

that kind of cheese melts under a fart dude all you need are hot chips and a lid and you're done.

>>5509281
I understand about the food, I went to Cornwall lately and they had some great food. It's not just that, there's a myriad of things I hate about this place, I just want to be in a different country all together, learn a different language, get a fresh start. The area in which I live is actually quite nice, and I actually love the weather here, I really dislike being hot and rain is just fine for me.

>>5509299
You'd probably despise it here, right now. The sun has been beating down and I've been in the kitchen kneading bread and pasta all day which is sweaty work at best.

Any plans on where you're packing off to? Scandinavia sounds like your cup of tea.

>>5509304
Perhaps, Scandinavia seems lovely, I have some friends in Canada it might be nice to meet. If it doesn't sound too weaboo I'd love to see how I'd fare in japan, the language makes a lot of sense to me, it's just that you have to learn around 2,200 symbols to make sense of basic reading and writing, and then you have to learn what the combinations of them all mean.

>>5509323
Sounds difficult but I suppose some people have a gift for that kind of thing. I do hate how enjoying anything Japanese labels you as a weeb now. Anyway, if you're ever on the Yorkshire Moors you should stop by and stockpile some stuff. Might make life in Liverpool or Japan a bit more bearable.