/ck/ - Food & Cooking

You stick them in your anus like the faggot you are.

texture taste and aesthetics.

>>5381773
That was pretty mean :(

>>5381768
texture

>>5381768

It started back in the early 1800's shortly after the invention of the hamburger when local vendors were trying to push this new delicacy on the punters. The "buns" resembled a bare female bottom ergo the origin of the word. In an effort to increase sales of their new product to the male working class the addition of the sesame seeds was used to resemble the stubbly hair on a male ass, appealing to their latent homosexuality.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B4-zMBOrqLs&feature=fvst

Try saying the McDonalds lymric without the "sesame" and it just sounds stupid...

"Two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions – on a sesame seed bun "

pure marketing magic

>>5381814
Wouldn't poppy seeds work far better then?

>>5381836
>little black fuckers all over your hands
Nah.

plus >>5381774 would all clash horribly

>>5381768
If you would properly toast those, it would add a great nutty flavor.

>>5381829

Anon, I'm thinking they'd have written a different jingle if their product used different buns.

>>5381768
I don't know but I always use it as an indicator. I check my poop everytime and this lets me know when that bigmac has finally been released from my body. Or any hamburger that uses sesame seeds, really, as I don't eat them often I can always tell when it's finally departed.

You can do the same with many foods. I find that if I don't eat mandarin oranges all the way then when they come out I have little pieces of orange, all filled with juice.

>>5381865
Sounds like you devote a lot of time to inspecting your shit

>>5381865
>>5381868
When I rise from the toilet there's always toilet paper above my shit, how do you inspect it so thoroughly? Do you take it out?

>>5381868
How can I know if my poops are healthy or not? I don't even use a toilet. Put tp down on the floor and squat, much healthier for your body that way. To people who don't - enjoy your colon cancer!

>>5381768
>that non-slip grip

>>5381877
yeah cause we all know if you eat a hamburger without friction seed bun it'll just slice right out of your hands. Good thing we have those friction seeds!

>>5381873
I get off the toilet to wipe.

>>5381884
Except then you'd be facing away from the toilet.

>>5381896
I assumed that you were smart enough to realize all you have to do is turn around.

>>5381896
the fuck are you on about?

>there are people who wipe sitting down

>>5381900
>there are people who wipe standing up

>>5381865
>all filled with juice
h-how do you know that?

>>5381903
>>5381900
>not wiping while laying down on your stomach

>>5381906
you could see the juice, they were all plump just like when they're part of the mandarin orange collective. this is why i started to chew them more, to assimilate them all! ahahhaha

>>5381910
>not squatting next to the toilet paper dispenser and pulling out one singular strip of toilet paper against your bootyhole

>>5381768

Appearances, and it makes it seem like they're doing something special for certain sandwiches

>>5381814
10/10

>>5381900
Wiping while standing leaves shit on your ass, beacause ass cheeks come together in standing. Does your ass itch in the middle of the day?

>>5381937
I stay in a squat form.

>>5381937
>what is squatting

I usually get my feet up on the toilet seat in reverse cow girl position so that I can inspect the poop at it's freshest moment without missing any of the pieces that might get buried under all the other poops...for science...maybe.

>>5381974
Just put down toilet paper or a paper towel, put plastic under it if you're feeling like it'll be wet poops. Then just squat down and let it rip. My poops are easy and nice, I don't understand why some people have to spend an hour in the bathroom trying to squeeze something out. Eat better and poop better. Humans were never meant to poop sitting down on a toilet like that, wtf. And I can definitely tell the difference when I'm forced to poop "normally". such as when I'm over at someones house or when I'm in a restaurant or some such. It feels so...restricting and unnatural.

>>5381995
And where do you normally do this anon? In the living room?

>>5382002
In the bathroom? God, I'm not some animal. I merely prefer to poop in a healthy manner. Poor pooping practice is very detrimental to your colon health, don't believe me? Research it, it's true.

>>5382010
>I'm not some animal
>doesn't own a bidet

Yes, yes you are.

>>5382019

>having a special fixture for tickling your asshole with a jet of water

Sounds a little homosex, Pierre

>>5382019
1) too poop for that
2) how would I even install it, I don't own this apt so my landlord would get upset
3) if I was THAT concerned I'd just hop in the bath and wash my ass after and save a ton of money
4) I'm ok with how I poop now
5) what this guy said >>5382025

>>5382025
Let me ask you this, if you get mud on your hands, do you wash it with a dry rag and call it clean?

Then why the fuck would you do that with literal human shit? Fucking cavemen.

>>5381768
The same reason they put nuts in those ice cream bars on a stick: it makes it look good like it's got more "stuff", but the stuff doesn't really make it taste good.

>>5382032
Are you implying that water is going to clean you more? it's gonna, what, wash away the bacteria by itself or something? You take care of that when you shower...

>>5382032
this
>>5382046
showering is for actually cleaning, which requires soap.

Wiping does not have to be as thorough, because in America we shower daily.

Also, my asshole does not need to be as clean as my hands all day because I don't touch my asshole on everything I handle.

>>5382046
Enjoy your filthy asshole

>>5382063
I beg to differ faggot.

>>5382063
You seem to be trying to refute my point but you agree with it in the same post?

>>5382071
go on

>>5382077
you're going to have to be more specific.

>>5382081
I posted this
>>5382046

>>5382088

Water by itself doesn't clean that well, which is what a bidet is.

Water and soap and scrubbing is the gold standard for washing away fecal bacteria. That's showering.

Wiping does fine for people who shower regularly, because unlike with handwashingm an asshole doesn't touch a bunch of stuff every day.

So, bidets are bullshit.

>>5382092
Enjoy all those rimjobs you won't be getting.

>>5382092
Ah, well that's what I said, I don't need a bidet because it's useless and I clean when I shower. I think one of us got confused somewhere but oh well, seems like we agree with each other so good enough for me.

>>5382095

The case for bidets being gay grows stronger yet

>>5382099
idk, i'm pretty tired i might be fucking my typing up a bit

>>5382063
>he doesn't touch his asshole on everything he handles

>>5381768
Whats the point of tomatos/lettuce on hot sandwiches?

they add flavor. it's one of those weird flavors that's incredibly subtle, but if it's there, you immediately know it.

it's like nutmeg. the tiniest smidgeon of nutmeg won't change a dish's flavor profile, but you can still detect it its presence.

>>5382167
I'm with you on lettuce. Fuck lettuce. Tomatoes are nice though.

Also, pic related.

>>5382228
Lettuce is a god-tier condiment

>>5382372
If you enjoy iceberg lettuce on a sandwich, you are a blight to the culinary world.

>>5382376
What about spinach?

>>5382401
Like lettuce, it really depends on the other toppings. Spinach and feta on a sandwich, great. Bacon, romaine lettuce, and tomato, a classic. Haphazardly throwing lettuce (especially iceburg) on a sandwich just because of tradition/color needs to stahp.

>>5382372
Salad in a sandwich, hot or cold, is an abomination and needs to stop right now.

Name 1 use of salad in a sandwich that can't be successfully replaced by actual ingredients?

A feeling of "freshness"? Pick your choice of grated carrots, cabbage or even fucking corn, stuff that have taste at least.

Some crunch? In addition to the ingredients above, onions and pickles as well as pepperbells, if you like those, come to mind.

Salad ruins a sandwich, and makes it a slippery mess to eat when a lazy cook puts whole iceberg leaves with stems in there.
Look at OP's pic. Just look at it and picture yourself taking a bite, and the bacon and sauce stard sliding downwards as the salad prevents the ingredients from properly sticking to the bun.

>tl;dr salad can go fuck itself, don't want that shit in my sandwich yo.

>>5382875

Forgot the pic of fucking slippery salad, see >>5382177

>>5381777
> is /ck/ one of 4chan's "nice" boards?
> has /ck/ ever seen copypasta?

When I was a kid I'd peel the crust of the bun off my Big Mac because I didn't like sesame seeds, I'd just end up with this naked bread bun sort of thing.

>>5381768
They are critical for the survival of the sesame plant

>>5382875
Fuck you this is awesome

>>5381865
Are you German?

>>5382935
Fuck you too.
What is the purpose of salad in this sandwich?

It's useless that's what it is.

>>5383004
Nigga, you gay. Everything is better with salad.

When I order pizza I get the sesame crust. It's the bomb.

>>5383004
>What is the purpose of salad in this sandwich?
like in every other sandwish : digestion. without the fiber intake of the salad that thing is a shitbomb in the making.

The sesame is the only nutritious part of the burger.

>>5383004
I like lettuce
i like tomato
i like avo
i like carrot
i like capsicum
i like cucumber
i like red onion

deal with it

Wet wipes are a nice way to get your ass clean

>>5382916
I knew this one kid who who would peel off the crispy outsides of mcnuggets. She only ate foods that were soft. I didn't even know it was possible to peel those things

>>5383198
....

>>5382916
You need to keep a screenshot of that peeled krabby patty

>>5381768
Making you fail drug tests.

>>5381781
life like texture ;_;

>>5383358

>>5382041
>nuts don't really make icecream taste better

I disagree

10/10 This thread

(Not sure if true)(probably not) but I heard that the bidet isn't meant to just wet your butt, but squirt water into your butt so you can poop it out again, like an enema, for that inside out clean feeling or something

also, are you all so bad at wiping that you NEED that shower every day!?

if you wipe good enough, or just use disposable wet wipes, the ones made for the toilet being able to handle them, you can get yourself very very clean.

>>5381768
if they used sesame leaves they'd just fall off you flamboyant faggot

>>5383364
do u hate the sasemi

>>5382028
they have ones that just attach to the toilet with no major changes necessary

>>5383278
are you retarded or only pretending

>tfw this thread made me realize I don't know what a sesame plant looks like

>>5384695
He might have got it mixed up with poppy seeds, poppy seeds can show up in blood tests as opium.

>>5382110
You're pretty worried about this 'gay' thing. It must really matter to you.

Are you a tripfag?

...oh.

Saging for no contribution.

>>5384701