/ck/ - Food & Cooking

:--------------------D

I can pour some Doritos on a plate and make a cheese sandwich.

gimme like, 10 minutes man

$20 for a plate of scallops one could buy a two pounds of them and eat scallops for a week. but then again these are rich fuckers some who crashed the economy.

>>5277350
>implying the people who wrecked the economy are slumming it with $20/plate dinners
>implying your deathcage isn't doing more to cause a NASA style HANDY model industrial collapse than a plate of locally harvested shellfish

http://www.theguardian.com/environment/earth-insight/2014/mar/14/nasa-civilisation-irreversible-collapse-study-scientists

We're all fucked. News at 11

>>5277320
I CANT CHEF

>>5277350

>putting $20 back into the market for a plate of food that they can make themselves for less money
>crashing the economy
>putting money back into economy
>crashing the economy

libfag pls go

beef wellington.

well unless they have some premade and ready to heat and serve. It's going to be a few hours.

Im On It Chef Pic Related.

>>5277344
YOU WILL ADDRESS ME AS 'CHEF' YOU STUPID DONKEY!

>>5277412

gimme like, 10 minutes chef, man

>>5277412
chill out bro, im workin on it uhh, chef.

oh my bad i ate some of the lobster

>>5277412
my dick you can suck it

Lobster up, Chef

Anybody tried some of those basic recipes from "the f word"?
the first season some years ago made it look rather easy

>tfw work in restaurant
>chef doesn't even work in the kitchen, he just stands outside yelling out orders
>hear "yes chef" all fucking night long

>>5277524
i've made a few things from his shorts on youtube. the scrambled eggs and shepherd's pie are generally my favorite way of making those dishes.

i'm currently watching his "ultimate cookery course" on youtube and the chicken and broccoli stir fry with rice noodles look pretty good, planning on making it later today.

he's kind of a pompous douchebag, but i like a lot of the actual content he puts out.

>>5277524
I made one of the scallop starters. I didn't bother with the presentation, just ate 12 of them watching a DVD, on my own.

>>5277508
FUCK you all I want is some gummy now
any kind
i wish i could just go outside and do something when i wanted to like normal people

>>5277551
are you in prison or something?

>>5277554
no i'm a neet hikki

>>5277558
go for a walk or something you weirdo

>>5277562
but it's dark and there's people outside

>>5277566
>implying dark isn't the best time to go out
>implying any of those people will even pay attention to you

>>5277558
Dress up Like Soiled Snake from Metal Gear bring a giant box hide in it everytime someone comes near you. go thru self scan with your bag of gummies repeat till you get home.

>>5277570
>implying i want to be glassed by some drunk teen
>implying i want to be knifed by some immigrant gangmember

>>5277651

So go to /k/ and get some gun advice. You live in America, it's your constitutional right to turn to mechanical pee-pee compensators to make up for being weak, socially inept, and afraid of other human beings. The Founding Fathers said so.

>>5277654
it's not dark outside in america you fucking retard.

>>5277654
>You live in America

Live in Michigan the sun is about Halfway down now usually it gets dark about 8pm in the Spring just saying.

>>5277687
>sun is halfway down
that's not dark. many people from ohio aren't kidding when they tell me you people are fucking idiots.

>>5277645
Soiled Snake.

>>52777695
Ohio the only State with worse roads than Michigan and that's a proven fact.

>>5277320
10 minutes FULL WHACK
WAZZ THAT UP
chuck in olive oil
LUVLEY JUBBLY
PUKKA

>>5277773

Is Jamie Oliver actually a good chef in the grand scheme of things? How does he rank against the best restaurant chefs?

>>5277773
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U12aygMK1lc#t=2m02

>>5277798
>Is Jamie Oliver actually a good chef in the grand scheme of things? How does he rank against the best restaurant chefs?
He's obvious learning disabled. Of course a lot of chefs are hyper attention deficit types that had trouble with ordinary schooling, actually kind of suited for the job of working in a kitchen or restaurant. How do you think he truly rates though? I'm not trying to be mean. I'm sure he's done his courses. He worked in a family restaurant. He grew up around foodies, but wasn't mentored by a great. But, natural talent and intelligence? Nope. Class and moving in those circles of cuisine and income? Nope.

The best restaurant chefs in the worst, by actual rating are pretty decently successful, but I'd easily remove half from the list of genius rank chef. They simply well managed, well funded, and doing the celebrity thing. The other half are doing amazing innovative things, with serenely decorated venues or locations, and it's a clear food experience, a destination alone.

>>5277798
Your post made me google his name and holy shit has anyone else seen the names of his children before? It's like he picked them from that chart that makes fun of British food names

>>5277773
top lel

>>5277798
hes a hipster rustic faggot.

from what i can tell, he can cook but he doesnt fuck with highly technical shit, not because he cant, but because he doesnt like to.

>>5277855

>fuck with highly technical shit, not because he cant, but because he doesnt like to

I think it's partly because his whole persona revolves around the "bing bang bosh pukka jobs a full whack" easy-meals thing. He does some pretty interesting stuff, but I wish he would do some more serious cooking

>>5277798
He isn't at a michelin star level but he doesn't aim that high. He can be irritating with his made up slang words but overall he's decent cook, especially for someone with Down's.

>>5277817
A British Comedy That's actually funny that's Impossible Noooooooooo “Head Explodes”.

>>5277839
>Your post made me google his name and holy shit has anyone else seen the names of his children before? It's like he picked them from that chart that makes fun of British food names
Oh my. I just looked that up.

I like this tidbit:
Oliver has dyslexia, and read his first novel (Catching Fire) in 2013, at the age of 38.[69]

Ramsay vs. the Dinner Impossible Chef.

>>5277832
I believe he's dyslexic.

>>5277912
Cage match.

>>5277941
Chef Robbert would Tear Ramsay in Half that dude is Ex Military.

>>5277839
>>5277901
>Buddy Bear Maurice Oliver
>Petal Blossom Rainbow Oliver
>Poppy Honey Rosie Oliver
>Daisy Boo Pamela Oliver

what the actual fuck. it's like he wants people to make fun of them.

>>5277878

Are you serious

There are loads of british shows just like that which are just as if not funnier

>>5277975
My moneys on Ramsay.

>>5277975
He cooked for the navy when he was 15. Haha tough guy!

>>5278046
Well, I just reversed image searched that...sorta wish I hadn't now.

>>5277320
not sure on the wellington, the lobsters and scallops will be in under 15, maybe 10, depends on how full the broiler and range are.

Why are cooks, chefs, and anyone in the food industry such fucking psychos?

That'll take me about three days man

>>5278184
Because it tends to be a shitty paying job with high stress and terrible hours.

Did anyone see the new Hell Kitchen some guy served Chef Ramsay a boxed pasta and canned tomatos dish. it's actually looked kinda good but Ramsay threw it in the trash like a dick.

>>5278237
that's pretty much how it always goes down.

>>5278248
I understand it's a competition but at least taste the guy's food no need to be anal.

>>5278261
>competition
it's entertainment, pure and simple. and that show's demographic likes seeing people get screamed at. probably makes them feel better about their own shitty lives.

anyone notice that every single chef always smokes in the show dosen't that ruin your taste buds. Also trivia for you /ck/ the last season winner failed a drug test but they gave her the money anyway I mean come on.

>>5278341
of course they all smoke and take drugs

they're fucking chefs

>>5278341
lots of people smoke in food service.

in one of the season's, ramsay actually brought this up and took part of an episode to tell them they should all try to quit`

>>5278341

Everyone in food service smokes or does drugs

Cooks and dishwashers do anyway.

Actual chefs may smoke occasionally but don't do it as often as the lower life forms that work in the kitchen

>>5277320

>>5278341
>winner failed a drug test but they gave her the money anyway I mean come on.
Well, she won the award despite her addiction. Good for her.

You have to realize aside from the chef, who has a dubious background anyway, this is one of the only jobs convicts can get, illegals are notorious for it because they can be paid under the table or underpaid for the experience they hope to gain. Traditionally people didn't go to big expensive CIAs, but dropped out of high school to apprentice. No matter how much money you can make in the field, it's a low class blue collar position. It's a service career.

If you are a classy person, you might find a lack of peers very sad and lonely, you go home late, no one is ever awake except the bar crowds and other kitchen people, and that's your crowd now, the smokers, drinkers, the kinds of people who quit high school in the first place. Get it?

It's also a career with high stress, in an athletic kind of way, working fast, intently. Some people have a hard time shutting that off like a light switch. There are other careers which high incidence of alcoholism, such as pilots/air traffic controllers. Drug use comes along with the personality that does this kind of job. Self-medicating abounds.

Anyone remember the Masterchef episode when they had to cook 100 eggs and any not perfect were thrown away. apparently crispy golden brown edges is garbage fucken madness. twitter was blowing up about it they wasted enough eggs to feed 200 people. then Fox shows and ad about donating food to people in need I know I know, I'm a no good Libral to give a shit. ( actually im Independent )

>>5278000

poppy and daisy are both pretty common names among the middle class over here

the others are shitty

also the middle names don't count, people don't get actively bullied for middle names

one of my brother's middle names is 'kingdom'

>>5278417
Just like Brunel!

>>5278099
wellington's take about 15 min in a 400 degree convection oven given a single portion.
the tenderloin needs to have a sear, brushed with english mustard, duxelles, and wrapped in pastry dough.
i cant see a welligton being done in less than 15 min. but fuck, i bet it can be done.

>>5278545
or maybe 10. nigga i'm too intoxicated

>>5277320
the microwave says 20 minutes, chef!

There should be a Master Chef 4chan addition, altho I think /ck would have a major advantage over everyone.

>>5277370
>Hi everyone. With greatest respect, this is a terribly misleading headline. The "study" you describe has not been published, nor is is reviewable - it has been accepted for publication but we have no idea of its contents. The author is a graduate student at the University of Maryland. Saying this is a "NASA-funded study", because the student is affiliated with a center that received funding from NSF or NASA suggests that NASA undertook this research - but there is no evidence of this. (Also, who are the author's "colleagues"? None are identified.)

>The piece seems to be written in such a way as to give the "study" more credence than it actually deserves - at lease at this point. Which is unfortunate, since now, there are people reblogging this from the headline alone.

>>5279659

AGW denier petroshill, pls go

Bump.

>>5279661

Ah, Hello Mr Poe's Law

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=47-JD70CHL4
The ultimate Japanese food, coming right up chef!

>>5278383
IT'S FUARKING RAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.

>>5278046

this makes me think of a concerned anon thinking about if his goats are content with life or if they are pretending to be happy when they are in fact miserable

I'm winning the game.

>>5277798

He spends all his time crying about food NOT BEING HEALFY to actually cook.

>>5281737
Imagine if he was on Hell's Kitchen crying about the scallops being not local and Ramsay screaming at him now that's tv!

>>5277700
That's the joke!

>>5281737
I will never forgive Jamie for campaigning against turkey twizzlers. They're GONE FOREVER.

Yes chef I can do the lobsters I put on some fresh cleats this morning chef

>>5277370
>posts the guardian as his source
well fuck, heres my tumblr blog that i follow as my source haha O LOL

>>5283971
>having a problem with the guardian

And where do you get your news? Prisonplanet?

>>5283971

Fuck this actually made me laugh, combination of the sheer contempt in the wording and the picture.

I wish I could eat at Hell's Kitchen instead of eating a Hungry Man tv dinner. also why do the ones from the 1970's looked 10x better?

>>5283975

>not having a problem with the guardian

it sucks being generally left wing and only respecting right wing publications.

>>5278000
>Buddy Bear Maurice Oliver
>>Petal Blossom Rainbow Oliver
>>Poppy Honey Rosie Oliver
>>Daisy Boo Pamela Oliver
MY GOD! What if one of them turns out to be a tranny and wants to change his/her name. They are almost all reasonably gender ambiguous besides Daisy.

>>5278417
are you a nigger or a paki?

>>5284009
The guardian are preachy as hell sometimes but they are still a reliable source.

>>5284018

i'm white as the driven snow.

half polish, a little kiwi.

>>5284034
literally /pol/ tier.

>>5284038

i have no idea what that means!

>>5277322
this so much fuck Ramsay

>>5277798
He's a good cook but not really "chef" worthy except by title. His shows used to be good but lately, his 15 minutes meals are borderline retarded. He takes soy sauce, lemon juice and a red chili and says "check out my authentic asian dish", then pours olive oil on top of it and keeps calling it an Asian dish...

>>5284048

nah i think he's pretty up front that it isnt authentic. i was actually really impressed by the 30/15 minute meals series.