/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>5253259
Short version of OPs story:
>"I'm a huge whiny faggot"

>>5253266
>burning the stovetop permanently, making all 3 of us pay for his mistake
>destroying my pan
>Hurr ur just a whiny faggot

Aussie please, you have stuff to be destroying

>had a somewhat shitty roommate
>wasn't inconsiderate or mean, just forgetful
>didn't always clean up after himself until maybe a day or two later
>sometimes would clean up immediately after cooking which was good BUT
>would run cold water on my non-stick pan immediately after using it to fry stuff
>pan slowly gets incredibly warped
>can't sit on the burner without wobbling, full of hot/cold spots

It was a cheap walmart pan though, so whatever.

>complaining about roomates on /ck/

could you be any more of a beta faggot? No wonder the australian walks all over you.

>he is 26
>a lawyer
>goes to the bathroom and doesnt flush his shit
>this happens multiple times, once where my guests saw his unflushed poop
>gets high and forget his frozen pizza in the oven
>doesn't clean or do dishes
I mean, do I have to call ur mom duuude

>>5253294
>pan slowly gets incredibly warped
No shit. You deserve this for not using cast iron

>>5253710
Call cops on his weed. Then the local bar about his arrest.

>live with a rommate for the last year
>roommate is unemployed
>I work 40+ hours a week and pay more than twice what they pay in rent
>still, I agree to do all the trash if they do all the dishes
>the dishes start to pile up
>every single dish is in the sink, sitting in moldy water
>if I want a dish, I have to wash it myself
>when I confront my roommate about this: HEY YOURE A LAZY INCONSIDERATE PIG THESE DISHES ARE SO GREASY CAN'T YOU RINSE THEM BEFORE YOU PUT THEM IN THE SINK? I WOULD HAVE TO DO THE DISHES THREE TIMES A DAY TO KEEP UP WITH YOU! I'M TIRED OF CLEANING UP AFTER YOU!
>when the trash doesn't get done on time, I get the same exact speech

my roommate also can't drive and relies on me so they can get all their groceries and anything else they need. i'm going out of town next week and they want me to bring them out to buy groceries. My response; why would you need the help of a lazy inconsiderate pig? you can get your own groceries.

>>5253761
kill them. kill them all.

>>5253761
nigga I'd drop that cheap ass roommate.
Fuck them.

>>5253274
>destroying
what kinda pan is that?
sounds like hyperbole

>>5253778
I guess I just feel bad. I always take in strays and support those who need it. I let people take advantage of me and walk all over me.

>>5253761
you sound whiny too

>>5253784
That was literally a story about someone whining to me.

>>5253780
>sets up self for failure
>bitches on the internet
you are just the worst.

>>5253780
no
that doesn't even want to help itself
I had a time where I had to borrow off a roommate for about a month once my factory job was laid off, I scrubbed everything, cooked + cleaned and did everything he was comfortable accepting as repayment until my new job kicked in

these are people who aren't gonna care. either you take the foundation out from them or they won't make one for themselves

>have a roomie for 4 years
>he hates cooking
>I hate doing the dishes
>I cook
>he does the dishes
>massive joints being rolled 24/7
>lotsa gaming, cooking, eating
>best roomie ever ;_;

>>5253787
it sounds like an apartment of whiny people
Honestly tho its that last super passive aggressive line that turned me

>>5253799
similar experience.

Dont wanna try my luck again, plz dont

>move into new appartment with two awesome roommates
>they're pretty chaotic
>I bring some very good kitchen gear
>among that stuff a very good teflon-coated pan
>no seriously that thing is crazy good
>"k you can use all my stuff, but take care of it. oh and if I see anyone stabbing around in this pan with a fork I will stab you with a fork. only plastic and wood with this pan"
>said it jokingly, they laughed but never treated my stuff badly

learn to make calls early. and if people fuck up, stab them. with forks.

>3 bedrooms
My bf and I were sharing one room, his cousin had the big bedroom with its own bathroom, and his cousin's kid had the loft. Basically we were paying 2/3 the rent while the cousin took control of every room but our own. He was a huge germophobe too, the bathroom and kitchen had to be immaculate and be wiped down with Lysol every time we used it. (Even though his own bathroom was gross.)
Mostly we bought our own food and had minimal disputes. There was a time though where I set 3 eggs out to get room temperature for a cake and he threw them all away. There was also a time where I left a pack of frozen hamburger to thaw in the sink while I went to work and he threw that away too. After that I just thawed stuff in a bowl in my room. There was a few times where he took it upon himself to throw out food in the fridge he considered old.

At least now I can enjoy the comforts of an entire apartment at the price I was paying for half a bedroom less a bratty kid, and I can come home home knowing my food hasn't been thrown away.

>>5253799

>>he hates cooking
>>I hate doing the dishes
>>I cook
>>he does the dishes

I do this with my girlfriend. She can't cook worth shit, and all I can think of when doing dishes is how much I hate doing dishes.

Roommate 1:
>one of my long time friends with whom I worked in a kitchen for years
>we always use each others' ingredients to make sure nothing goes bad
>therefore, good food almost always available

Roommate 2:
>qt redhead french exchange student
>makes top-tier cakes and pastries
>cooks crazy stuff from Savoy
>one of nicest people I've ever met

Life here would be perfect if the redguard family next door would just stop making so much fucking noise.

>>5253876
>redguard family

>I'm very petty about hygiene and kitchen hygiene
>GF stays at my place during weekends
>whenever my GF uses something she leaves it on the table or countertop so I have to clean after her
>whenever she cleans vegetables she leaves the trash on the countertop
>she eats everywhere and shit drops all the time
>she does the dishes though, but sometimes I have to rewash stuff because she didn't wash them good

I've told her that she can't behave like that couple times but as a joke. How do I resolve the situation ?

>>5253761
Move out. Sounds shit.

Most of it is minor bitching stuff but it gets on my tits so here goes

>mfw my roommates use my butter knives to eat dinner with and don't wash them, and then use serrated knives to butter bread with
>mfw my roommates never tidy plates up until after a few days
>mfw my roommates use the washing up sponge on a stick with washing up liquid thing straight onto dirty and greasy plates meaning if I want to wash my mug because it has a stain in it I first must wash the apparatus we clean things with
>mfw they blast loads of things on the big gas ring on the hob on full gas costing us a fortune
>mfw I buy proper salted butter and they have their own lighter stuff which I wont touch no matter the circumstance but they will happily take some of mine if they run out
>mfw I get back from uni and we've run out of tea bags but neither of them has thought to pop to the corner shop to get some
>mfw the exact same thing happens with milk


But I love them dearly and they are my friend, and there are people on here who clearly have housemates who do worse things. I'm sure there is stuff I do which annoys them too, such as being a serial shampoo stealer.

>>5255439
>she does the dishes though, but sometimes I have to rewash stuff because she didn't wash them good
My gf does the dishes more than I do. I take a really long time but they are spotless. She takes half the time but it isn't uncommon when I have to rewash a glass or plate.

I sometimes complain, but it is hard. Because I am torn between not having to do dishes but having them done half-assed and having to do it myself.

I *hate* doing dishes but I'm anal about it too.

>>5255491
>mfw my roommate has a special knife for butter only

>>5255491
>mfw a guy gets angry that people use cleaning supplies to clean things

>>5255491
>my roommates use my butter knives to eat dinner with and don't wash them, and then use serrated knives to butter bread with

I know it's stupid but this is so fucking annoying. I can't stand it and my GF does it on purpose to annoy me.
>>5255496
I feel you man. I'm in the same situation.

>>5255504
But they are using them wrong.

>Have several roommates
>One is midwestern guy
>Another is half-black anarchist girl
>Girl comes into kitchen, remarks guy's cooking smells good. She asks what it is
>He responds "spanish rice."
>She quickly looks in the pan and said "No it's not. That's not how you make Spanish rice."
>Him: "It's how I make it."
>Her: "You don't cook the rice in the sauce. I grew up in the barrio. I've been making Spanish rice my whole life, and I learned it from immigrants."
>Him: "Ok."
>Her: "I'm so tired of white people bastardizing the traditions of other cultures." etc etc etc
>She continues to attack him for 20 mins.

I moved out because of this girl. Every fucking night she vocalized her hatred of white people in some ridiculous manner. She pretended like she was a normal human being when we interviewed her for the room and then she broke out the racism once she signed the lease. Lol, entire house trolled hard.

>>5255561
Did she give good blowjobs at least?

>>5255566
She fucked another girl directly outside my door one night. Like leaning up against my door. I think it was 2AM; woke me up.

I wasn't amused. She was ugly as fuck in every sense, for one. She spent the last few weeks of my living there subtly hitting on me because I took care of her dumb ass when she had a bad trip. When I didn't respond, I think she thought fucking someone outside my room would show me what I was missing or something. Or just to annoy me.

>>5255577
Why didn't you open the door as they were leaning against it? Sounds like the perfect porno scenario to me.

>Roommates get mad at me that I cook for myself
>Always say that I never offer them any
>Whenever I do ask them if they want any/make something for the entire house (say, muffins) they never eat them anyway

Is it possible to be so fucking retarded? Because I thought this kind of brain-deadedness can only come from the mentally ill.

>>5255579
Because she was a combative whore, and I'm basically a doormat who didn't want the conflict. I really wanted to just open the door and tell them both to get the fuck away from my door, but instead I just went full beta and turned on my TV and put the volume all the way up. I think Kung Fu Panda was on. Lol. I'm a fucking faggot.

>>5255585
>Tv on full volume

holy fuck mate could of at the very least just pretended to be asleep

>>5255585
Maybe they were trying to wake you up for a threesome. The world will never know.

current roommate
>never leaves her room except for work
>come home to oven on and no one home weekly
>so many other things don't even get me started
previous roommate
>guy my age, buys all kinds of kitchen appliances and uses exactly 1 of them.
>gnc every day, buying bs diet stuff and protein
>tells me all about his dietary plans
>orders food every day
>get drunk and fuck him like 5 times oops
previouser roommate
>moves in 2 more roommates, she and them do not pay any bills
>sue her for stealing from me and win $3k

fucking roommates man

>>5255577
I would have opened the door so they fell in to my room.

Seriously dude, you got to man up. It's like she pissed on you to mark her territory and you just pretended to like the smell.

>>5255598
He had an opportunity to shame fuck the roommate with another person there to witness it.

>WHAT A NIGHT! Sarah was sucking my pussy in front of John's door when he interrupted us and, long story short, John fucked Sarah's ass while laughing like a maniac and then proceeded to face fuck her ass-to-mouth style, the whole time she was crying and Kung Fu Panda was on full blast. It was weird, but I think they worked things out.

>>5255628
>she was crying and Kung Fu Panda was on full blast

Housemate 1/2:
>married eastern european couple
>both very friendly, wife doesn't speak english though
>very generous, always offering stuff from work (one works at a bakery)
>cook but forgetful about cleaning but its no big deal as I know it will be done
>generally ideal housemates

Housemate 3:
>young chav student, moved in a couple of weeks ago
>never washes up and leaves the kitchen a right mess
>doesn't wipe up spills
>friendly enough though and you can just remind him to clear up his stuff when he's not doing anything without any hassle
>generous with alcohol, likes a party

Housemate 4:
>shy goth girl, extreme anxiety so barely leaves room unless bf is there or she has to go to uni
>great cook, will cook for others when asked
>makes cakes randomly and leaves them on the side for everyone
>washes up whilst cooking so there's never a mess
>every now and then has a bit of an ocd moment and disinfects the whole kitchen and bathroom which is a win-win

Housemate 5:
>aggressive, unemployed sex pest that lived here before me
>friends with the married couple so can't really ask to leave
>uses everyone's stuff without asking, smokes in the kitchen, no cleaning, ever
>doesn't flush the fucking toilet which only stresses housemate 4 out
>always leaves everything electric turned on when there's no one in rooms, or even home
>goes out and leaves the front door not only unlocked, but open

Thankfully, 5 owes the landlady 3 months rent and she's given him one last chance to get his shit together before giving him his notice.

>>5256290
shy goth girls are the best :3c

>>5255496

I've come to realize that you're much better off with half-clean plates that have to be rewashed every once in a while than you are with a sink full of dirty dishes.

>>5255577

okay can someone tell me how in the hell lesbians can fuck while standing up?

>>5256290
>shy goth girl, extreme anxiety so barely leaves room unless bf is there or she has to go to uni
>great cook, will cook for others when asked
>makes cakes randomly and leaves them on the side for everyone
>washes up whilst cooking so there's never a mess
>every now and then has a bit of an ocd moment and disinfects the whole kitchen and bathroom which is a win-win

wow that sounds like me

>>5256485
Fingers. Tongues. It's not hard

>>5256489

Not technically fucking but I guess the homo on the other side of that door would not have been able to clarify what exactly they were doing anyway

>teach roomie to cook
>they actually listen
>they clean up when you tell them to
>after a year of my counsel they can make rad dinners
>trained them into eating/appreciating vegetables
>cook and eat together watching anime every night

>>5256488
well I know she browses here... britfag though, so it's probably not the same person

I know of two guys that were in a meetup thread on a different board- they met up and it turned out they were next door neighbours, kek

>>5256495
Sounded good until your last three words.

>>5256508
ha small world
but i'm a amerifag

I have never lived with a roommate. What am I missing out on?

>>5256545
dirty kitchens and damaged utensils

>>5253274

if you were a food you'd be a whiny runny egg...

>>5256545
The possibility of group sex your milage may very based on your gender.

>that was a really subtle way of implying I'm a grill

btw, I'm a grill

>>5255491
>buying salted butter

>life in shared flats since 18 (never less than 3 people)
>now 27m
>whenever lived with other guys - no problem
>whenever lived with more than one girl - bitchfight between them (expect one time: Both studied theologie)
>whenever it was one girl - "do I REALLY have to do that? Am I not too cute for this?"

>These days with two girls.
>Next time dick talking I'll tell him stfu ;-)

>>5256608
Buy both you retard. Unsalted butter is for cooking, salted is for at the table, like on bread and baked potatoes.

>>5253780

B-b-b-... Bruke?

>spring break this week
>roommates left a few days ago
>check out apartment to make sure there's nothing up
>they've both left gallons of milk that expired 3/4/14

fucking guys

>>5256642
Alternately, you can buy unsalted butter and salt. Use Marmite and you don't need salted butter and you can sprinkle salt on your baked potatoes.

>>5256290
Housemate 5 sounds terribad. Who just leaves the front door open? The rest sound nice, even the messy chav.

When I had messy roommates and asked them to please clean up, they would huff and puff and say, "I was GOING TO, GAWD" even though it had been hours and they clearly had no intention to do so. So glad I live with just my SO. If I ever had to have a non-romantic roommate again, I'm sure it would suck.

>>5259323
salted unsalted butter has an entirely different flavor than butter mixed with salt

>Live with 3 housemates, all generally clean
>Other guy has a girlfriend
>She never washes up
>Comes to our house when she's used all the pans at hers and nobody else has washed them up
>Uses super sharp knives on non-stick pans
>All our pans are scratched to shit
>Leaves pans, plates, drinks, cutlery - like anything you could imagine - just festering on the side
>If there's no room in the bin she puts rubbish in the sink
>Uses all our spices, oils, occasionally actual food
>Lets herself into our house when nobody's there
>Puts our heating on and uses our washing machine
>Refuses to chip in for bills because "we'd be paying them anyway"
>allofmyrage.jpg

>1st roommate: ex-punk, friend of mine for years, part-time alcoholic, sociopath and completely chaotic
>2nd roommate: female law student, got to know her when moving in, absolutely clean and tidy
>get along with both of them great
>they don't get along with each other AT ALL
>She keeps reminding him of chores, cleaning and treating her kitchen utensils the way she wants
>he keeps telling her he'll do it later, her rules are nonsense and she should watch her tone
I keep hoping for peace

>room mates can't cook
>but it doesn't matter, our schedules are so different that we pretty much fend for ourselves 7 days a week
>come home one day
>a rare day when we would have the chance to eat together
>(female) room mate decides she's going to cook
>cool
>take a shower in the mean time
>come out to see what she's cooking
>"stir fry!"
>... okay
>watch as she makes it
>lamb cooked so slowly that it stews in its own juices
>realises she doesn't actually have any soy sauce
>starts making it up
>puts in bbq sauce
>adds rosemary and time
>puts in about two cups of fresh cilantro
>throws huge stalks of broccoli in to cook for about 45 seconds
>serves with untoasted white bread

She knew. Even as she was making it she knew that it would be awful. I'd have offered to teach her a few things about cooking but by that age no one should be such a shit cook. If you can make it past 20 without being able to cook at least week's worth of meals, then you are actively failing at life.

>>5259663
>time

Fuck. I meant thyme. Don't ask how I got that wrong.

>>5256628
>am i not too cute for this

Holy fucking this. No. I don't give a fuck if you're 10/10, you will do your part to make the house habitable and if you won't then you will be kicked out.

>>5259663
I have so many stories of bad cooking from when I lived in halls.
>Teaching flatmate to cook pasta
>Handful or so of pasta
>Boil it for 15 mins
>All going well so far
>"Okay, now drain it"
>Realise how this may go badly
>"Make sure you use a colander"
>Turn around
>Hear scream
>She'd just poured the pasta straight into the colander
>Not over the sink
>Boiling water all down her legs and hissing on the cooker
>She got mad at me for not telling her that that would happen

>have roommates
>ignore them unless utilities need to be paid

>>5259680
How. Just how.

I had a roommate that stopped washing dishes. He used the same cutlery and plates for a couple months. He also ate breakfast foods almost exclusively.

After another roommate complained about seeing his egg-and-pasta-sauce-encrusted plate and bowl, he just started keeping it in the cupboards.

He also had bronchitis and spit phlegm in a salsa jar and would dump it out only when it was overflowing.

My gf refused to come over for a period of time while I lived with that guy.

Then I lived with 4 friends and it was a blast. Best 3 years of my life.

>>5259683
this is the best way to do it unless it's someone easy to get along with.
control freak room mates are the worst, especially hypocritical ones.

>>5259680

>>5253259
Michael...?

>>5259654
They'll be married one day.

2 roommates. One fat, one vegetarian.

vegetarian
>can't cook
>subsists entirely on pizza and frozen annie's meals
>occasional takeaway from a real vegetarian restaurant when she has money for it
>huge pothead

fatty
>can't cook
>subsists entirely on frozen walmart meals and fruit

honestly I didn't care. Just gave me a sick twinge when the vegetarian one would buy a huge pizza, sit it on the counter, and eat off of it for a week straight.

and I felt bad for the fatty. She was the definition of "my parents raised me to be fat."

>>5253876
>redguard family next door

>>5259663
>two cups fresh cilantro

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST.

>>5260336
What's the most confusing day in Hammerfell?
Father's day.

Why do Imperials trade with Redguards?
To get their stuff back.

Eh fuck I can't think of any others.

OP it's just a fucking pan. Not like it was worth hundreds of dollars and being too sentimental about objects is stupid.

>>5260444
That's not the point, the point is that someone had so little respect for someone's property that they destroyed it.

>>5260440
These are the kind of jokes I like to read.

>>5253294
>>>would run cold water on my non-stick pan immediately after using it to fry stuff
Why is this bad? I just like doing it because I like the sizzling and smoke that happens when I do it.

>>5260450
What do you call a Khajit with no legs?
Loyal.
What do you call a Khajit with no hands?
Trustworthy.
What do you call a Khajit with no head?
It's name.

>>5260444
I guess you haven't lived in shared housing.

If someone smashes your laptop, then that's something you can have a go at them about. If someone ruins your pan then you seem like a knob if you have a go at them. In the mean time you have to have crappy takeaways before you bring yourself to spend another £20 on a pan, and it's 100% the fault of your housemate.

You start to resent that you can't say anything, and then you start to notice all the other little things they do that annoy you. You can't whinge about them borrowing pages from your notebook, leaving their clothes in the washing machine over a weekend, or leaving lights on, cos again it's petty, but it just gets so annoying that you have to start a thread on /ck/ about it, only to have people like you not understand.

I know where you're coming from OP, I really do.

>>5256290
Housemate 5 sounds like me.
Except I do clean, occasionally, and I don't owe any rent.

>>5260945
I live in a 4 bedroom apartment with a total of 6 inhabitants. We just tell each other what bothers us, and if you leave your clothes in the washer, someone'll take them out of the washer if they need it. How is this so hard? THEYRE JUST OTHER PEOPLE

>>5260978
You're lucky man. I lived with someone who would throw a massive hissy fit over the stupidest shit. I asked if she'd used a potato of mine and she screamed at me, stormed out the house, and sent me angry 2am Facebook messages until I apologised. I'm not saying that that's the norm, but most people just swallow it if it's not that big.

The washing machine thing is another case in point. The first time someone left their washing on the clothes horse for too long, I just put it in a nearby box. About two weeks later I found out that her and her friends were all bitching about how awful it is to mess with someone's stuff like that. People are all different, with different ideas of what living with others is like.

>>5260945
wow that's deep. instead of writing all that, maybe get a job that pays you enough to not have to live in that shithole.

Don't be a cunt.

>>5260991
Or maybe I could live there while I study, so I can get a job that I enjoy, rather than just talking crap on a cookery board.

You stop being a cunt, faget.

>>5260994
Then study, why are you posting here bloody cuntrag... or are you waiting for gubment handouts?

>>5260995
I am studying, that's why I have experience of crappy shared living. Did you not get that?

>Currently living with 4 girls, 3 dogs, 2 cats.
>A grandma, her daughter, and her two daughters (16 and 11)
>They almost never cook, yet somehow manage to use all the dishes and have food on the counters all the time.
>I cook randomly when there is room
>Never have to wash dishes or clean up minor shit since cleaning the kitchen is the girls' job, once a week it seems.
>Mom is thankful when I cook, shares what she has to throw in with whatever i cook.
>Not that bad of a situation, but god damn do the dogs bark at anything and loudly.
>16yo girl is easily 8/10 with DD, at least. Would fuk.
>11yo girl is so dumb, believes there is such a thing as a PS5. Yes, 5. Also uses 7 different cups per day, and doesn't reuse swirly straws because you can't clean them right (fuck do i love using straws.)
>Mom is typical disabled mom that spends all her time on the couch, using my laptop, to play farmville or post the most annoying "lyk dis evrytim" images on facebook.
>Had to reformat/fix that laptop at least four times. >She has a pc, but can't get comfortable using it, also she managed to fry it. Twice.
>Grandma is never home. She works at some disability home so she cooks/eat meals there.
>Bitches that nothing is ever clean despite the fact that if she even tried to clean, she's pretty shit about it. (She isn't wrong, this place is filthy.)

>>5260996
I got that, but most of us have already done that, and /ck isn't your therapy session. What are you studying anyway, how to be stupid?

>move into a place last May
>me, boyfriend, good friend of 5+ years, and... girl my friend is interested in
>girl turns out to be batshit insane, like "was once committed against her will for three months" insane
>she obsesses about cleanliness
>brings back childhood trauma of my father screaming at my mother about the state of the kitchen
>i cook 3 meals a day at home
>she cooks once every few days
>she's always on my case about the dishes
>doesn't realize they are constantly being washed and re-dirtied because she's never here
>gives me panic attacks by screaming at me
>tfw i am the bad roommate

i genuinely feel bad

>>5261011
>How To Be Stupid, BAHons
Just paying for that should be enough to earn you a first.

>Be dating person for a year
>They move in
>Suddenly becomes Snorlax in terms of cleanliness/laziness
>Clothes everywhere
>Dishes always left in the sink or by the PC
>Mention the subject often as to how they need to pitch in and stop stressing me out with their messes
>End up babying this person for another year, playing a parenting role
>Hyper OCD, can't stand messes, so just deal with it
>Resentment builds
>No more sex
>No more attraction
>Kicked them out last week

Oh God I have never felt better. I can come home to a clean, quiet house that is of my own design.

>Move in with SO out of desperation
>Am warned that the roommates are entitled stoner slackers
>SO begs roommates not to eat my food before I move in

>Make dinner one night
>Go to clean our two plates
>They have left rotting dishes piled so high in the sink that we can't even rinse off our dishes
>Decide to just add to the pile because fuck it
>Get an angry text from the bitch female roommate two hours later about how shitty we are for leaving dirty dishes

>We buy alcohol for a party they throw
>There is left over alcohol
>They drink the rest of it later because it must be theirs now
>Buy them a whole fucking ice cream cake for their party
>Roommate decides to eat my SO's personal ice cream straight out of the carton instead of the cake
>We ask him WTF is his problem as he ignores us and eats our food

>They have a taco night
>Use our entire bag of cheese
>They make toast
>Use our butter, leave it sitting out with crumbs in it
>We make a roast
>Roommate douche asks for a bowl, eats half of the entire roast
>They help themselves to my dumplings
>They drink half of my unopened juice
>We piss and spit it in
>They polish the juice off

>They have no money for food or bills after they go on their third vacation in three months
>But they have money for drugs, alcohol and a festival in the summer
>Roommate goes to festival with our power bill money instead of paying for the fucking power bill

>They complain any time we leave anything out
>They constantly throw parties and have the place littered with empty beer cans and solo cups for days
>They never feed their dog and it shits and pisses exclusively inside the house

>We are not on the lease
>We apartment hunt in secret
>Give them very little notice we are leaving
> Douchebag guy roommate: WHY!?
>SO explains, mostly about them eating our food
>DBGRM: But I thought the food was communal
>We told you it wasn't! We never ate any of your food!
>DBGRM: Well, OK, I thought I was entitled to it.

>>5261022
>I can come home to a clean, quiet house that is of my own design.
Gets boring real fast. But good for you nonetheless.

>>5261027
Bonus: What their refrigerator looked like before I moved in and cleaned it.

>>5260452

Extreme temperature changes will warp a pan, especially cheap ones.

>>5261027
I feel your pain anon

Hope you and your SO are in a better place (both physically and mentally)

>>5255599
girl or gay guy?

>>5259663

My roomate's like this. He's so proud of these "pies" he makes...beef mince fried on ow until grey and slimy, then a fuckload of Great Value beef stock cubes thrown in and frozen vegetable mix.
Another flatmate I had was one of those fucking autists who believes that onions are some kind of esoteric vegetable of doom. He also got angry when he saw me eating hummus because "its a pointless food".

>>5261224
>He also got angry when he saw me eating hummus because "its a pointless food".
lol what. the. fuck.

How do you even talk to someone who says that? I wouldn't know where to start.

>>5260189
Two of my old roommates got married a couple years ago. One was a ex-cokehead alcoholic who was a complete slob and the other was a very opinionated and stubborn girl who cleaned up after him and took care of him when he was comatose.

They are doing really well. It's sort of funny how it turned out.

>>5261009
you're a disgusting pedophile

>>5253259
>Live in dorms with loads of other guys
>main character of this story is a rugby player >pretty big and continues to get bigger every month
>buys raw discounted sausage meat
>freezes it and weeks later decides he wants to eat it
>takes sausage meat out and places on plate
>microwaves for 3 minutes
>takes out sausage meat and places between two slices of bread
>proceeds to dump a quarter of a bottle of salad cream on top of sausage meat
>cuts in half with a knife and we can all clearly see that its still raw in the middle
>rugby player ignores our concerns over said "meal" being under-cooked and eats anyway
>throws up 20 minutes later.

This guy absolutely loved Salad Cream; he would eat it with everything; he even put some in a pint of Guiness and drank that. Worst was when he spent ages cooking spaghetti bolognese and it looked pretty damn good, only to pour shit loads of salad cream on top of the meal

>>5261224
>those fucking autists who believes that onions are some kind of esoteric vegetable of doom
he probably has "onion allergy". those fucking cunts, I see they are all around the world.

>>5260989
That's because women are irrational.

>>5261382
I don't know why, but salad cream seems to be the student condiment of choice. Literally every student kitchen I've been in has had multiple bottles. That and Reggae Reggae Sauce.

>live with 3 gay roommates in NYC
>I'm not gay
>I pay $275 a month living on the sofa in the lounge
>I get along with 2 of them and the other works nightshirt so no fucks given

Life is really good at the moment, being 18 is cool

It's time.

>>5262253
Is there another part to this?

>>5262253
>More next post.
Come on, man, don't leave us hanging like that.

>>5262337
>>5262355
Because I was just as curious:
http://www.wyseguys.com/blag/shitty-roommate/meet-jed/
That version is a bit more difficult to read, but at least it seems complete.

>>5262372
Thnx filthy curious Anon.

>Chinese major
>move in with three international students (all female)
>two are repulsive
>one sublets after a quarter because she couldn't stand the other two
>subletter is Chinese-American

>subletter eats at 2am, leaves the house at 4am
>talks loudly to herself in the middle of the night
>slow cooker always stinking up the apt
>burnt her hand at work, keeps leaving used band-aids in shower

>when signing lease told fob girls that I chose to live with them to practice Chinese, they seem interested
>as soon as I move in they tell me that it feels weird speaking to a white person in Chinese so they refuse
>speak to them in Chinese
>fob 1 gives me silent treatment for 6 months, fob 2 just avoids me

>black hair all over kitchen and bathroom
>clip toenails over kitchen trashcan
>belch and fart
>eat loudly, chew with mouth open
>stovetop is always filthy
>they never zero the microwave
>snot rockets in kitchen sink
>keeps moving hand soap from bathroom to kitchen
>bedroom always at 85 degrees, ridiculous electric bill in Seattle winter
>walk around without pants on
>microwave all beverages including soy milk and orange juice
>only tip at Chinese-owned restaurants
>make loud racist remarks about Koreans and imitate language at a Korean restaurant

I could go on and on.

>>5262400
I don't understand majoring in Chinese. What exactly do you study?

>>5262434
Translating/interpreting

>>5262434
Chinese.

>>5262400

>I could go on and on.


I believe you, as I'm pretty sure you've written this exact story in the past few weeks.

>be me
>freshman in college
>roommate is cool
>roommate gets girlfriend
>semester ends
>second semester starts
>roommate's girlfriend accuses him of raping her
>act as witness to roommate's defense
>roommate gets off at first, appeals currently ongoing
>feels concerning feminism

But how does it relate to /ck/?
>roommate leaves me a bag of Totinos pizza rolls after he moves out
Swag.

>>5262448
Fret not, anon. I move out in two weeks so you'll never have to hear it again.

>first day in college
>meet my roommate, he's a douchy looking 17yr old
>give the guy the benefit of the doubt
>after a week his dishes start to pile up
>wash them for him
>things get dramatically worse
>entire counter top and sink are filled with dishes
>his leftover food is starting to rot
>roommate tells me to clean it if it bothers me so much, landlord tells me the same thing
>eat premade salads for +3 months
It was hell.

>>5261009
are you going to fuck DD?

>move out for college to student housing.
>didn't have rooms at first, kept us at the hotel until then.
>get roomed with a wierd hipster black kid with a huge afro, likes anime and can draw his ass off. We get along well enough.
>there are 3 students to an apartment, 1 single and 2 shared, shared being cheaper.
>share with kid i was in the hotel with.
>come home one night after to class to a bunch of black dudes in drag doing...things...
>traumatized, we both get moved out to new apartment with a new roomate.
>complete nigger. young money asshole type.
>would fuck hambeast and shemales regularly, ate our food, stole our clothes (borrowed without our permission), never cleaned up, and just loud as fuck in general.

>alarm clock would go off for hours and he slept through it.

>plan to have a civil meeting about our grievances, he takes it pretty personal and tries to fight me.

>not wanting to get kicked out I just call the RA, but he slaps my phone from my hand and onto the floor breaking it.

>I'm 6'4 and 270lbs up against some 5'8 maybe a 150 lb guy. Fight is pretty one sided.

>I'm ground and pounding him as the afro roomate I share a room with casually walks in grabs a drink and walks out with it.

>He comes back: "Yo, wanna come over to my friend's place and play some Mario Kart?"

>I get off the asshole roomate and follow him out.

Apparently this kid had a history of being a dick and not attending classes. He got kicked out and I got put on academic probation and shit. We've had a few more roomates come and go but it was mostly just us. Unfortunately I had to drop out for financial reasons, hope to finish some day.

>>5260460
Replace 'head' with 'brain.' The loss of the head implies death before it implies stupidity.

>>5262487
Just throw it out. Literally bag it up and throw it out.
What's he going to do, take you to small claims?

I always love the tears in these threads.

Nobody is obligated to cater to you and your neat-freak neurosis.

>>5262701
A responsible adult is obliged to wash their own dishes.

>>5262400
Do you go to UW?

>3 years ago, live with one 25 year old girl
>She's incredibly lazy and dirty
>Also buys way more food than she could ever possibly eat
>The cabinets are completely packed with cans/boxes of food, can't even get them to close
>Have to keep all of my things in my room because there's no room for anything of mine in the kitchen
>Kitchen has a dishwasher but it's always completely full of her dishes
>The sink is always completely full of her dishes
>I have to wash all of my dishes by hand since the dishwasher is full, but sometimes it's impossible because of how high her shit is stacked up

>See her one night, remind her to please wash her sink full of dishes that had been soaking for over a week, growing mold and stinking
>She whines and bitches and flips out, saying she doesn't have time to "cater to my needs"
>Next day, check the sink, still full
>Decide fuck it, put on gloves, wash everything for her, dry it and stack it nicely, takes about 2 hours
>Few hours later, sitting in my room, she comes home
>Hear her scream like she's being fucking murdered
>She yells "FUCK YOU" at me through my door
>Slams front door and leaves

>Still never washed her own dishes after that

I had a roommate from Nigeria. Briefly.

He ate fish every single day, every single meal. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner was fried fish. I have asthma, and every time he cooked, I had to rush for my inhaler because he refused to turn the oven fan on. A few times he'd cook while I was sleeping and I'd wake up unable to catch my breath; nearly killed me. Eventually I ended up with pneumonia. He insisted that the fan caused his heart to beat out of rhythm, and that he'd die of a heart attack.

(Eventually I threw him out. He made $800 worth of long distance calls to Africa to have phone sex with his girlfriend. Then he announced he was no longer going to pay rent because I was rich and didn't need his money. He believed I owned the apartment because he paid his share of the rent to me. I tried to explain that I was renting the apartment and he didn't believe me. When I ordered him to GTFO on threat of an ass-kicking, he called the police on me. I was sick and dizzy with pneumonia and surrounded by cops in my underwear while I tried to explain to them that I wasn't actually planning to kill my roommate in his sleep. When I told them about the phone bill as the reason I wanted him out, my roommate denied making the calls. I told the cops to look at the two of us -- I am very very white, and my roommate was very very black and spoke with a thick Nigerian accent -- and use their s00p3r p0l1c3 d3t3kt1v powers to discern which of us was more likely to be making calls to Africa.)

>>5262821
reminds me of my Indian roommate who got angry if I turned the AC on in the middle of summer. Idiot thought it would give him pneumonia.

Never room with non westerner... ever.

>own a house
>rent out a few rooms
>tell every new tenant that if anyone fucks with my food/utensils, I'm evicting them
Done.

>>5262856
This obviously didn't happen, because tenant laws actually exist and you would be fucked.

>>5255551
Lol, no.

>>5262821
>I got pneumonia from someone cooking fish

Yeah bro, sure.

>>5262821
>be an Asian guy with a white roommate
>he's always looking at Asian porn, or Asian dating websites
>sometimes, other people see this lingering on a computer screen
>they always think I was the one who was looking at those sites

>>5262859
If a tenant was fucking with personal property, that's a pretty fucking good reason to kick them out.

>>5262804

My mom, dad, and sister are hoarders. What I learned dealing with their filth and insane amounts of crap is that any time a crazy person gets angry at you for cleaning or having standards. It is that point you know you're doing the right thing. The violent crazed screaming (sometimes involving violence or threats of them committing suicide or murdering you) they do when you clean is a sign that you are the normal healthy person in that situation.

>>5262871
>my tenant scratched my teflon pan so I evicted him

Yeah, not going to fly.

>>5261018
Screaming is a trigger for me too, bro. I know that feel. Tell that cunt to go fuck herself.

>>5262877
>My tenant had no sense of respect for other people's property, therefore, I found it reasonable to remove him from my home.
It's all how you word it.

>>5262835

I lived with an Indian guy for a while. He was sorta chill. The only issues I ever had with him was that he made disturbing amounts of chai tea (tons of sugar and milk lol) and he tried to cook completely frozen chicken once. Luckily I stopped him before he tried cooking his chicken and got him to defrost it first.

>>5262868
No, I got pneumonia from having my lungs chronically inflamed for months. I have fucking asthma, bright boy. Remember?

>>5262461
>act as witness to roommate's defense

Did he really do it or was the bitch crazy?

>>5262821
had a roomy from nigeria once too and he also ate fish in every meal. Stank the place out day in day out. On the plus side he thought farting was really disgusting, so I'd fart near him constantly, to the point of saving farts just so I could let loose in his presence. I think he eventually saw the funny side but who knows, I never once saw him laugh

>>5262776
Yeah, why?

>be 23 y/o male
>one of my roommates is a 19 year old college kid who is in environmental studies and claims to be a lesbian (me and 3 friends found her on craigslist out of desperation to fill our lease)
>constantly complains about being poor
>never cooks her own food
>eats ramen often
>buys coldstone and pizza multiple times a week
>eats everything with her fingers
>dips everything in ranch
>never notices when anyone else washes the dishes and always claims she is the only one who ever does them
>keeps saying she is going to become a vegetarian FOR DA ENVIRONMENT but never does it
INSUFFERABLE PSYCHO CUNT
I'll be so glad when this lease is up

>friend needs help leaseing for school a place and i just got a job offer in town
>we also pick up some chick some the chicago suburbs
>me and my friend have our own food expect for "community"shit we share i.e. poptarts, cereal, pretzel sticks
>the chick from chicago is a vegetarian but does eat fish
so we always have a lot fish
>chick does her own dishes, me and friend take turns doing the stack of ours combined
>was the first to turn 21 so i bought the alochol for the longest time(friend turned 21 last year, chick turns 21 in april)
>every saturday we just make a bunch of mexican for a mexican buffet for toonami(i cook the rice, friend does meat, she handles the vegtables
shits pretty cool but the chick has a friend coming up for collage as well. we might move into a four person apartment if she's cool

>>5263018

how is being a vegetarian good for the environment?
unless you're buying locally and organically grown stuff, you're probably doing more damage...

>>5263012
Let me move in and fuck their shit up. Korean femanon attending UW this fall.

>>5263087
Congrats on getting in, babe.

Unfortunately they're moving into a different apartment with some friends next school year.

>>5263097
Let me move in anyway. I'll do all of your dishes, I promise.

>>5261392
>tfw you have a legit onion allergy but love onions and feel like a giant ass when at restaurants having to ask if they are in a dish

most of the time i just say fuck it and eat it anyway and regret it soon after

well this just happened to me.

>be poor asian college student with part time job at a moving company.
>always go to japanese market on mondays when bad cuts of salmon (bones with little meat on it) is sold for 80 cents per pound
>get home excited about eating salmon rice (boil the salmon in dashi stock. cool and cook in rice cooker with rice)
>roomates mock me for my "poor-ass asian cooking"
>get sidetracked (study, 4chan, etc)
>go to rice cooker, starving
>it's completely empty

>that feel when it's all i had to eat for the next two days
>that feel when i'm too beta to complain
>that feel when i have to go in to work tomorrow and scavenge through customer's garbage for canned food.

sometimes i just want to die..

>>5263104
I would love nothing more than to be your senpai and roommate but unfortunately I graduate next week.

>>5263109
No. Take graduate classes. I want to suck your dick while you cook me food. I'll never find a roommate that I like at this rate.

>>5263105
I had an uncle with a severe allergy to MSG, and even small amounts can cause anaphylactic shock. He would go to restaurants and tell them, "I have a severe allergy to MSG. If I have MSG, I will have to go to the hospital. Is there ANY MSG in your food?"

And they always answer, "No, sir."

And irritatingly often, halfway through his meal, my uncle would have to call the waiter over and ask him to call an ambulance because his throat was swelling shut.

I told this story to a friend of mine and he didn't believe me. We were about to get some poutine at a chip wagon, so I told him to do a little experiment and tell the operator he had an allergy to MSG.

The chip truck operator insisted there was no MSG in the food, and after my friend began eating, I asked the guy to show me the can of gravy he had used. Lo and behold, I pointed out "monosodium glutamate" on the ingredients. My friend was outraged, and the operator's response was, "Well, I don't ADD any MSG."

Try it yourself. See what happens.

>>5263106
You basically have free license to eat their shit now, though. After that they have no grounds to complain.

>>5263117
;_; You drive a hard bargain but I'm going to have to decline on the basis that I don't have a dick.
If you end up with shitty roommates you can complain to me about them on skype.

>>5263106
You need to start dumpster-diving. I get at least half my groceries from dumpsters, and I eat quite well. I live across the street from a Subway, and I could probably live entirely on what just they throw away. Every night, for example, they tie up the plastic bag of what remains of their meatballs and throw it away. I get 40-50 meatballs every single night, still hot and tied up in plastic. Sometimes they throw away entire garbage bags filled with sub rolls at the end of the day. I also get frozen, 5 pound bags of deli meats which are a day past their best before date. In the past, I've also gotten: two 10 pound bags of pickled hot peppers, still sealed; a 10 pound bag of shredded lettuce; an entire case of bottled water, unopened; and several hundred baked cookies (slightly stale).

And that's just from one store. When I make the rounds, I have to bring a backpack because I get so much amazing food. In fact, it's so lucrative that I've become quite picky about the quality of what I get. There's a hotel which throws out dozens of entire boxes of untouched pizzas after every major event they host, and there's just so much that I can be picky about which toppings I want on the pizza I salvage.

Trust me, you'll lose your squeamishness about garbage-picking pretty fast when you see how much amazing food you get for free.

>>5263131
How sad

>>5263133
What the hell is sad about free food?

>>5263128
I could have had a lady roommate!? Now I am extra disappointed that you're graduating~
Congrats though!

>>5263131
i've actually done this before i had that part time job. really dark days from what i remember...i used to live near a major grocery store and would find stuff from the bakery about a day after its expiration date. usually it would be like some kind of pie or bread still in its packaging.

unfortunately, theres a boundless sense of dignity in me which is refraining me from going back to that lifestyle. although i guess even now it's not too different.

>>5263141
i meant meaningless, sorry.

>>5263120
I've never had to go to a hospital from the food before. I have whipped out an epi pen and shoved it in my leg in front of a bunch of families while yelling "GOD DAMN IT" but that's about it. I generally just stick to food I know will be fine. I don't eat out much anyway as I really can't afford it (plus I prefer cooking anyway.) The part that gets me is people who get their panties in a twist when they don't believe me, or the dicks that are like "if you don't like onion just say you don't like onion. allergies to them don't exist" ok buddy tell that to my swollen throat and rash

that said, I have a weakness to any type of asian dumpling and it all has some sort of onion in it. I run a train on it anyway :(

>>5263131
I live in a high rise in 'straya and they just built a subway on the ground floor. I wonder where their dumpster is? I may have to go look. Food out here is expensive as shit and I am low on money this week

>>5263148
>I run a train on it anyway :(

Haha, yes, I have an allergy to a lot of legumes but I love humus and falafel, so I usually just eat it and put up with the swollen throat and the tongue like a slab of raw liver for a few hours.

>>5263152
It's actually pretty easy to sort through Subway's bags. Heft each one; the light ones are customer trash, and hold nothing useful. The ones which are really heavy are the gold, and the heavier they are, the better the haul. The meatballs are also still hot when they go into the bag, so if you feel a warm spot, you know you've got their "leftovers" bag.

One exception is when they have so much leftover bread that they fill a garbage bag, but you can usually tell those just from the bumpy shape.

>>5260989
> I asked if she'd used a potato of mine and she screamed at me, stormed out the house, and sent me angry 2am Facebook messages until I apologised.

I had mixed gender house mates for a very short time in Japan, they were all expats like me. Nothing too crazy but..

>Girl from Hong Kong was super nice and cooked decently, always offered to share. Always cleaned up after herself and apologized constantly if she felt bothersome. We watched Death Note live action together.

>Canadian guy who was smoking hot but kind of aloof. Spoke fluent (like native) Japanese for some reason. Super nice bro. Always ate out or brought his own food.

>30 sum American with Masters looking for a job, kind of took me on a few dates in Japan but it didn't quite click. He was pretty geeky and took me to porn stores in Akiba unashamedly. Liked to mooch my cooking a bit, but would put dollars and cents on it like when he took me out.

And the worst guy ever;
>Nasty old as fuck unemployed Greek guy who perved on every girl in the house and walked around in his underwear with his saggy balls hanging out. Incredibly touchy feely and loud with no sense of personal space or polite behavior. Would sit you down and talk your ear off about how great he was at car design and how he was close to getting on a Japanese company. God help you if he wanted to show you his portfolio.

>QT Korean girl who was slightly pudgy in a cute way. Totally sheltered and spoiled but nice enough. Spoke no English so our common language had to be broken Japanese. Got trapped for 24 hours with her in Harajuku during the 2011 quake.

Also just remembered;
>Greek guy always toasted smelly fish and cheese on toast every morning which permeated the house.

>>5261022
Holy fuck man, you are me, but minus the part where I actually kicked them out.

She has gotten better, actually, but it has taken three years to get to the point where I can function in my own home
. . .

I hired a maid.

>>5262922
#rekd

>>5263179
>I hired a maid.
whelp

>>5253780
what >>5253790 said

quit being a whiny cunt and just kick them out
>boohoo im sooo nice ugh :'(

>19
>awful small dorm room with high school friend
>both extremely lazy
>super small so nothing to do with roommate inside dorm
>incredible introvert and hates socializing so he doesn't ever hang out with anyone else except another friend who is in the same college
>generally fine

Since then haven't been in an apartment however I can speak for him.

>now lives in an apartment with good highschool friend
>he rarely leaves his room and generally keeps to himself
>his friend invites over shit tons of people to smoke pot and make a general mess of the place
>multiple noise complaints
>his friend is generally good about doing things else than this
>they both are not too great at cooking so whenever go over to hang out usually end up cooking or eating out

Been over there a few times, and the people sitting around in their apartment smoking/drinking are, generally, younger than 19, and since they hardly lock their apartment they'll invite themselves in. A friend of mine wants me to get a lease with them and get a 4 room apartment and I honestly don't think I could stand the constant parties. Plus I know none of them can cook, and while they may be good with dishes I could never trust them to get groceries either, which doesn't bother me but dishes would equally pile up as well. I feel like kind of a faggot for not wanting to room with them but...

>>5253266
>>5256598

Ignore this douche, op.
You had plenty of reason to complain about a roommate who ruins your stuff.
I suspect the other anon is venting because he or she got chewed out for doing exactly what you describe.

>>5256545
Inconsiderate immature assholes who never clean, damage others possessions, consume everything in the house and don't contribute financialy and then have the gall to call you out on not being their personal buttler.
You could get lucky though.

>>5262689
Fuck that shit. I'm not going to clean up some asshole's mess. Then he would have just expected me to constantly do it.

Thankfully I'm done with college.

>>5262400
You've already posted about them in another thread, didn't you?

>>5263085
>how is being a vegetarian good for the environment?
unless you're buying locally and organically grown stuff, you're probably doing more damage...

seriously? show your work

>>5263460
Yes and you're the second poster in this thread to point that out.

Moving out soon, won't make anymore posts about them

Oh shit, I had the two worst room mates ever last year

>move in with a few friends
>two other people join us who I don't know
>they do the same course as as one of the friends
>they bitch and moan that the kitchen is constantly untidy and it's my fault and I should be the one cleaning it up
>lel they are the ones making it so untidy
>I clean their shit up anyway and do their dishes
>same thing happens, kitchen gets disgusting fairly quickly
>there are vegetable skins on the floor
>my dishes have been used and unwashed
>my cupboard has been raided from all my stuff I use for cooking
>forks on my fucking non-stick pans, I lost 3 in my whole year being there
>they swear that it's my mess and I should clean it up
>lots of passive aggressive notes on cupboards
>clean up my shit, leave the rest
>start being called selfish, though they never have cleaned any of their own shit
>they ignore their moldy ass dishes in the sink and use my stuff ALL THE TIME and never wash up after
>start to get real tired
>find some of my dinnerware out in the garden, covered in crusty spaghetti and mold
>final straw
>tell them that they are filthy and to stop using all of my stuff if they can't treat it with respect
>they laugh to my face and say it's only kitchenware
>yeah kitchenware costs money faggots
>they use my stuff for the rest of the year anyway, destroying half of it
>glad to move out
>would never room with people I don't know again

I learned my lesson.

>>5263992
you're a royal bitch. should have either hid your shit in your room or kicked their asses. you just moaned a few times and then continued to let them walk over you.

>>5264017
there was not much choice, there wasn't a lot space in my room and I was fed up with arguing with them. It was every day. All I wanted to do was come home and relax, not have a dramufest. Maybe I should have asserted myself on hindsight, whatever.

>>5264033
>Maybe I should have asserted myself on hindsight
yes, you should have.

since i moved away from home, i've had a number of different types of roommates, and those you have there were some of the worst. you can't give them an inch or they will take a fucking mile. it's best to just never give them the opportunity to use your shit so that they can't ever fuck with it or blame you for messes.

better to have a cramped room than that bullshit, in my opinion.

> woke up this morning
> KNIFE IS MISSING
> check dishwasher
> knife in there
Its all beat up now because my roommate uses glass boards

>>5264074
this is why i keep my knife close by, in my room (among other things). doubles perfectly as an intruder repellent.

>>5260450

A serpent guard, a Horus guard, and a Setesh guard meet on a neutral planet. It is a tense moment. The serpent guard's eyes glow. The Horus guard's beak glistens. The Setesh guard's... nose drips.

This happened over a multitude of days.

>roommate can't cook for shit
>lazy ass bum, does nothing but watch TV
>everytime she cooks it's a fucking disaster
>makes pasta
>puts noodles in a pot, adds cold water and boil the fuck out of the pasta until the water gets absorbed by the pasta
>her sauce is ragu + ketchup + philly cream cheese
>mushy garbage
>bakes it in the oven with even more cheese on top
>calls it perfect
>try to teach her
>NOPE I CAN HANDLE MYSELF FINE TYVM.
>she keeps disregarding my help
>buys shitty powdered asian soups
>proceeds to burn them anyway
>buys ramen
>burns it too
>I offer my help once again
>LOOK, I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP OKAY, I'M A DECENT COOK, SO FUCK OFF AND MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS.
>well okay then
>clear my mini fridge of booze
>use my paycheck to buy loadsafood
>prep everything when she's away
>freezer component has lasagna, pot pies, chicken fingers, barley soup, brownies and blondies
>fridge is stocked with Alfredo, Bolognese, Marinara sauces, and a few litres of homemade beef, chicken and veg stock
>she calls me a frivolous bastard for buying take out everyday
>offers to cook for me if I pay for half the food expenses
>to this day she still doesn't know

I don't know if I should even tell her, or just let her be.

>>5264096
politely decline. side note- you sound like one annoying roommate yourself. if someone declines your offer for help once, just leave it be.

>>5264081
I also stow my good knives underneath my bed, away from roommates and at the ready for intruders.

>>5264096

still doesn't know what? the food's in the fridge. this story doesn't make any sense. you sound like an asshole btw.

>>5262884
>trigger
Oh fuck off.

>>5264143
>stop using words I don't like!
kill yourself nigger, this is 4chan.

I can't handle being screamed at either. Fuck you dad

>>5262434
Panda Express

>>5264149
"Trigger" is for sufferers of PTSD, which you do not get from your parents having a fight every once in a while. If you want to feel like a special snowflake, tumblr is all about that kind of shit.

>>5264112
Well, I only offered to help because she actively burns/overcooks things. I sort of relate to her, because for everything I did wrong, I thought to be the most amazing thing ever, until I got hit in the face real hard with humble pie. No offense intended or anything.

>>5264134
She still doesn't know the food isn't take out, or that the mini-fridge in my room is stocked with food that's easily prepared.

>>5264191
>Well, I only offered to help
and she declined, at which point you should have just let her live with her nasty cooking.

on the point of the food, tell her. if she wants to learn from you, wonderful. if not, oh well. this is not difficult.

My. Fucking. Sides.

>>5256290

>shy goth girl, extreme anxiety so barely leaves room unless bf is there or she has to go to uni

No suprise, they always have a boyfriend.

>>5263992

I had a similar problem. I had a roommate who left swamps in the kitchen sink which grew crusts of mold and clogged up the drain. She constantly blamed me, and said I was a filthy pig. One day after getting yelled at, I brought her into the kitchen and said, "Point to a single item here which I dirtied."

She flung stuff around looking for something she could blame on me and was furious when she couldn't find one. Then she accused me of disempowering her by denying her truth, thus oppressing her with my male privilege.

The next day, I threw out all my cutlery and dishes except for a single bowl, a single plate, a single cup, and a single set of silverware, which I kept locked in my room. I told her that there was now literally nothing in the kitchen which belonged to me. When the swamp reformed, I simply started doing my dishes in the bathroom sink.

All of this infuriated her and she ended up giving notice for both of us without bothering to tell me first, after making sure she already had another place lined up. I wasn't able to find another place in time and I ended up homeless.

>>5264149
You're right. This is 4chan, not tumblr.
Why don't you head on back, snowflake?

>get extra shift at work
>get home
>housemates said they were worried where I was at
>not enough to send me a text but whatever
>notice they all got pizza
>currently eating an apple in my room because I have little real food

>>5264306
>she ended up giving notice for both of us without bothering to tell me first
this sounds illegal, my money says you could have gotten around this if you'd talked to the landlord. unless your lease was up, but if that was the case, you'd have known about it.

>>5264327
are you implying that it's their responsibility to feed you? i sure hope not.

>>5264335
No! Just the instance of their not even knowing where I was but still doing shit without me. Wouldn't be the first time though.

>>5264323
When she moved in, she demanded to be put on the lease. That meant that either one of us could give notice since we were officially co-tenants.

>>5264342
>their not even knowing where I was but still doing shit without me
i must be missing something here. what is wrong with this? should they have waited for you in order to go about their daily activities?

>>5264344
your landlord must have been a complete asshole if they weren't willing to just take her off the lease and keep you around.

>>5264349
>complete asshole
It was a co-op and they didn't like me being there to begin with. I "inherited" the apartment because I had moved in with a friend. I could never have gotten in on my own because my income was too low. They didn't want anyone living there if your rent was more than 30% of your income. But because I got put on the lease with him, when he moved out, they had to let me stay. The first legal opportunity they got, they took it away from me.

>>5264342
Get over it. They've probably done it more times than you've caught them.
My ex-roommates used to do shit like that all the time.
>wait until I go in the shower to go out for brunch
>go see the Hobbit right when I start my online final
>"forget" to tell me about taco night while I'm in my room studying

>roommate would leave empty cartons of milk in the fridge
>"It's a reminder to get more"

Oh also one roommate got a gf who was there ALL THE TIME. Me and another were like she needs to start paying some utilities or something since she slept there, showered, cooked, hung out there etc.
>she's just my gf
>water electric gas bill was noticeably higher
He was good guy but a complete faggot to deal with involving girls. He ended up caving in and paying more for her but before that I jizzed in her shampoo.

>>5264451
i never understood the empty containers thing. wouldn't the absence of the item be just as good of a reminder?

>Dad is a drunk fuck who left the family when I was 7
>Came back to my life when I was 19
>21 now, mom has had enough of his shit, and apparently his new wife has had enough of his shit too
>Begs me to let him stay at my apartment
>Be a nice guy, he's my dad after all, and let him stay
>Whenever I'm cooking, he always interferes with my shit
>puts 3 spoonfuls of sugar in the entire pot of chili because he likes it sweet
>puts a1 steak sauce, ranch dressing and beef broth while steaks are searing "to give it a nice sauce and flavor"
>reducing sauce, he adds more water because he wants to raise the volume
>always gets backwash on the cooking wine
>making some lasagna
>fucker overloads it with cheese because he wants it cheesy
>bitches and whines when there's no food whenever I'm at work
>always asks if I brought some leftover food from work
>beer cans and bottles sometimes scattered throughout the living room
>sometimes it smells like weed
>invited his friends over without my permission and dirtied my kitchen plus destroying a few furnishings
>he used my Playstation 3 as a wager on his card game which he then lost
>promises me that he'll get me a PS4 instead

I've had enough of his shit, I told him that if he doesn't smarten up that I'd kick his ass out on the street.

>>5264469
>he's my dad after all
i don't mean to seem cold, but this is the exact reason that i firmly believe that blood is one of the lease important aspects of family.

>go to college out of state
>close friend from high school (A) ends up at same college
>dorm roommate (B) makes a lot of friends, I become friends with them
>A's roommate is a weirdo, A makes no friends
>introduce A to B and friends
>sophomore year A, B, friends, and I move into a house together
>end of junior year they decide not to resign lease
>three of the friends get a three-bedroom apartment
>A, B, and another friend get a three-bedroom directly above them
>weakest link because I don't drink/party
>sorry anon looks like you're SOL
>live alone senior year
>they're all out of town for my birthday weekend
>they throw a huge birthday party for B and don't invite me
A is traitor scum and he'd be the one living alone right now if I hadn't helped him make friends.

>>5264469
>always gets backwash on the cooking wine
lol

>>5264477
you seem bitter for a very weak reason. people change, and rather than make new friends, you get pissed off because your old friends "abandoned" you.

>weakest link because I don't drink/party
and i'd be willing to bet the differences between you guys don't end here.

>>5264488
>and i'd be willing to bet the differences between you guys don't end here.
Nah they're alcoholics so it's a pretty big deal to them that I don't drink.

>>5264497
>every1 who isn't a teetolar like me is an alcoholic

fuck off faggit

>>5264497
then if anything you should be happy to be rid of them. i was in a similar situation when i had to find a place for this year, except i'm still friends with those guys. i moved in with some randoms and it turned out reasonably well. meeting new people is pretty beneficial.

>>5254714
Looks like a neat story, but I'll pass
Tl-Dr my nigga

>>5263992

>not just locking your shit up or keeping it up in your room

Seriously, anytime I've had things I'd like to not be destroyed, I keep a shelf or cupboard in my room to keep that shit away from people who will wreck it without caring.

>>5264528

Shit, you just made me nostalgia HARD

>>5264510
They drink every day, often in class. I don't know what to call it if not alcoholism.

>>5264517
It was just shitty having to make new friends so close to graduation because I knew that I'd never see any of them again.

>>5264497

lol so why you bitching then? you fucking dont drink.. i dont even get it...

it sounds like you're the one that kept passively aggressivley implying that their drinking is a problem for them - and they got sick of it and got rid of you.

Don't be judgemental! They're not alcoholics! They're just COOL PEOPLE. Thats how you should think. They're cooler then me, so I'll be humble. Not ... oh buncha drunks chose the hooch over their BEST AND MOST PERFECT FRIEND.

seriously. think about it. You just weren't that cool. that's all. and you're continuing on with it instaed of working on your problem (to become cool the first thing you have to do is stop judging people)

>>5255561
Oh my god..... How did he not hit her in the face with the fucking pan.... I'm annoyed just thinking about hear that bullshit.

>>5264544
>They drink every day, often in class. I don't know what to call it if not alcoholism.

there you go. I wouldn't be friends or roommates with someone that thought that way.

you should have said "poor guy, his class sucks so much ass he actually has to DRINK THERE! what a poor guy. Hope his luck turns around"

cause firends depend on each other to give them the benefit of the doubt. You weren''t a friend to these people....

>>5264510

This was a really bad post, anon. Like really bad. I hope you understand how stupid this was. I'm really disappointed in you.

>>5264544
>I knew that I'd never see any of them again.
in the wonderful age of technology, we can keep in touch with people beyond face to face contact. if it's a real friend, they'll want to talk to you often enough that losing touch won't be a problem.

>I don't know what to call it if not alcoholism
i'd call it "college aged male." it is completely possible to drink on a daily basis without being an alcoholic, many people do this for long periods of time during college only to slow way down after they graduate and get into the real world.

>>5264565

Why do you think you know more about that anon's situation than he does?

>>5264573
i don't, and i never implied that i did. i do stand firm by my statement that anon was being bitter for a very silly reason.

>>5264548
I never complained, criticized, or judged them. They definitely just didn't want me to live with them anymore because I was uncool/not fun enough.
>>5264565
Even if it is because they're college aged males rather than alcoholics the point still stands that they drink all day and it's a pretty big deal to them that I don't.

>>5264575
>i don't, and i never implied that i did

Okay bro.

>>5264588
the more you describe these people, the less i understand why you'd want to be friends with them in the first place.

>>5264342
>>5264342
I feel you bro, but this will forever happen.
Still, they could have left you a slice.

People will find it fun to passively torture others by excluding them from group activities over and over with "coincidences", as if its fun.

I hate it too, because there is nothing you can do about it. Except somehow find something more fun than what they do, and turn the tables by refusing to invite them.

>>5264605
>Still, they could have left you a slice.
where do people get this sort of entitlement? they buy the pizza, it's theirs to eat. they are roommates. never actively try to be friends with roommates, otherwise you'll just feel constantly betrayed every time they do something without you.

you people are so fucking petty.

>>5264603
Well I'd rather have good friends than them but I'd rather have them than nobody.

>>5264614
making this suggestion always falls on deaf ears, but make better friends. making shitty friends is just setting yourself up for failure.

Seriously though, why don't people lay down rules and a schedule of who does and pays for what.
When shit crops up the first time, and you know you are in the right (you fucking make sure you are in the right), bust into their room, grab em by the scruff of the neck, drag them into the main room, pin them down and threaten that they better get their shit together or you'll come back with a knife. Girls or guys, doesn't matter.

2 things may or may not happen.

1. They complain about you, in which case act natural and/or have hard evidence against you Be alpha and tell anyone responding to complaint that you aren't the president of the lowlife club.
2. Get instantly raised to alpha wolf status. Guys will know their place, and bitches will be intimidated and get in line for you.


If you have higher morals, if you uphold them, if you are the better person, and look the part, NO ONE will have shit to say about you. Ever.

>>5264327
>win contest online
>a pizza, couple cans of soda, slice of cheesecake, and salad delivered to house
>roommates rush in and take the entire pizza and drinks
>ask them why the fuck they thought that was okay
>"you don't even like pizza"
>why would I enter the contest if I didn't like pizza?
>salad and cheesecake for dinner

>>5264633
>Hard evidence against them*

meant to say that

>>5264633
>Seriously though, why don't people lay down rules and a schedule of who does and pays for what.
people always seem to move away from home and just assume it's going to be just like living with their parents.

and it's not always a question about morality. one person's way of living isn't necessarily any more right or wrong than another's. you sound like you'd make a terrible roommate yourself in not realizing this.

>flatmate comes in to my room
>he's all excited
>'bro, bro, come check it out. I fucking did it'
>I come to the kitchen
>he's made lasagna
it tasted pretty good, and he made everything, including the pasta from scratch. Good on him.

>>5264640
How about the general morality we would expect responsible people to have in a household?

The morality that everything in this thread is complaining about their lazy and inconsiderate roommates not having?

Having household skills is a valuable thing, and I say that as a guy. If you need to lay down some rules to keep the place in order, and reprimand people for slipping up, then so be it.


...Ironic how we all move out to get away from the chaos/iron fist of our parents homes, only to realize that living in general requires one to live by rules to keep a semblance of organization going. We cannot live without the chains we so desperately try to break.

>>5264665
>How about the general morality we would expect responsible people to have in a household?
differs from house to house

>The morality that everything in this thread is complaining about their lazy and inconsiderate roommates not having?
/ck/ is not indicative of how everyone lives.

yes, setting ground rules is essential for living peacefully and cooperatively, but the problem is that nobody ever wants to admit that their own way isn't the correct way. and more importantly, people aren't confrontational enough, and just assume certain things go without saying.

>>5263148
> I have whipped out an epi pen and shoved it in my leg in front of a bunch of families while yelling "GOD DAMN IT" but that's about it.
dude what?

>>5264712
shit, nevermind. i thought you were the dude dumpster diving for a sec lol

>>5264074
I dont mean this in an edgy way but just break his board "by mistake" and make it up to him by buying one that isn't glass

>>5264638

Why would you let someone do that to you?

So many fucking doormats ITT.

>Making Delicious potato soup
>Turn around to get out a couple of tupperware bowls to put my leftovers in(I make my meals a week at a time, because I'm poor, thus why I have a roommate)
>Turn around to find my shitbag roommate pouring half a bottle of sriracha into the pot
>"Trust me, brah, it'll make that bland ass soup TONS better"
A little bit of a kick is okay, but he drenches everything with sriracha. I swear to god he goes through a bottle a week. I ended up throwing away the whole soup and starting over.

>>5264859
i'm happy to say that i've never met someone inconsiderate enough to fuck with my cooking (well, except when it's on their plate and i don't really give a shit what they do with their serving). probably for the best, i'd most likely brandish a knife vigorously while explaining to them that they need to keep their hands off my shit and cook something themselves if they want to make it their way.

>>5256290
I used to be a Housemate 5 but then I slowly became a Housemate 3--alcohol included.

Nothing says, "Shit, I was a fucking ass," like generosity with the booze. And cleaning up your shit on a regular basis.

>>5264087

TEAL'C

:-DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

>>5261366
pleas learn the meaning of words before using them

>Moved to MA from CT because I landed a job up there
>Found a place after posting an ad on CL, saying that I'm a Military dude
>My roommate is a 1st Lieutenant, commanding an 88M Co.
>I'm a Specialist, 11B
>My food starts to go missing
>He likes to take my shit (deli meat, cheese, etc.) and leave me with only one slice left
>Had about 8 slices of cheese before I left to go home for the weekend to CT
>Come back to MA, only have one slice of cheese and my deli meat is gone other than one fucking slice
>Finally had enough of his shit
>He's in his room with the door closed
>I literally kicked his fucking door down to his bedroom
>This has been going on for a while, so I have every right to be ripping pissed
>Kicked his fucking door down, got right in his face and started yelling at him that I know he's been eating my food
>Dat look on his face when in a split second his door got knocked off the hangers and me charging into his room
>Problem solved

-I let him slide for about two months because I was new to the place and he was the one that contacted me to notify that there is an open room in the house. He also paid for the repairs to the door.

>>5265207
it's still pedophilia if they're underage, no matter how close to legal age they are, asshole

>>5265306
whats a spc doing living with an officer

>>5265335
Two different units, pal. If that wasn't fucking more obvious enough through our MOS.

>>5265333
Yeah no. 16 falls under ephebophilia. 16 is legal in some places. Seriously how can you consider finding someone who is nearly an adult attractive in any way pedophilia? Once you're past like 13-14 its hard to consider it pedophilia because they are actually somewhat developed.

>>5265353
pedo logic

I'm glad I don't live anywhere near you

>>5265368
>age of consent in my country is 14

likewise, troll.

>>5265368
I'm not even the original poster or attracted to children/teenagers. I just find it stupid how people think being attracted to a 16 year old is just as bad as being attracted to an 8 year old.

>>5265377
#2
Statutory rape should not fucking apply to a mentally healthy 15-16+ year old. Rape can apply just the same and it's arguably more horrific with a young person, but if a mid-late teen can't make up their mind and consent adequately then there's issues beyond age-dependent maturity.
I don't condone pedophilia at all, I think it's fucked. There's some laws and social/political stigma I don't agree with though.

>>5261034
rekt

>>5263106
I'd give you a hug, anon. Complain or eat some of their stuff or something.

>>5263177
>living in japan
>complaining about fish

>>5263106
quit being so beta, you fuck, or this shit will never stop.

at the very least, get yourself a mini fridge and keep all your food in your room so your beta ass doesn't have to share.

>>5264497
Plenty of my college friends are alchys and i drink very little myself.

>>5259654
I smell a sitcom

>>5263131

That is pretty amazing what you're getting out of those dumpsters.

>>5265881
Yeah, and the problem is, a lot of stores, especially food stores, hate it. Everything I salvage from their trash is groceries I'm not buying at the store. In large cities, a lot of places have started either locking up their trash or slashing up their discarded food with a box cutter and pouring bleach on it to prevent people from salvaging it.

During the big blackout in 2003, supermarkets actually hired around-the-clock security to guard their garbage because they had thrown out so many hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of food.

>Apartment at Uni, 6 people
>One of them is some LotR obsessed architect major aspie
>makes two loves of banana bread and twelve banana bread muffins every other day
>never offers us any, asks who ate one when they disappear
>never see them leave the counter, just see the loaves wrapped in foil then they disappear when the new loaves are made
>open door to his room one time looking for a ruler
>over 40 loaves of banana bread on top of his dresser
>never speak of it

>>5265964
And you didn't take pics?

>>5265964

I

what

I

why
what how

>>5265956
This. This makes me angry. Maybe it's because I grew up poor, but it really infuriates me. I can understand these places throwing out food on arbitrary dates... you don't want the authorities to come down on you, health codes, all that stupid shit. But to then lock your dumpsters so that food is forced to rot to uselessness and nobody can benefit from it? That's disgusting.

I don't do much dumpster diving because it's a stupid thing to get arrested for. But once I found a case of perfectly good, unopened vodka in a dumpster in the neighboring apartment complex. That was a good month. Also, my old roommate used to work next door to an Entenmann's and would bring back perfectly good baked goods that they had thrown out. That was kind of dangerous. Living on pastries is not good for your health.

>Friend manage to choreograph getting me and three of my closest friends to move into a three bedroom house with me
>"Err, hey. Maybe try getting a sixth roommate?"
>It'd slash rent and utilities down to fucking $200, why not
>Fucking hippie becomes roommate
>First week he lived with us, he stole food from ALL of us
>Used ALL of our dishes, silverware, and shit
>When he'd clean knives, he'd run the edge against the sponge and fucking cut into it like a goddamn idiot, destroying it and forcing us to buy more
>We enforced a "put your name on your food" rule that made him act all passive aggressive
>He could cook but goddamn, would he mooch the ever loving fuck out of you if you let him
>Kept acid in our freezer which I threw out because it literally looked like garbage
He is the reason I don't like hippies now.
He did so many other shitty things that caused conflict within the house but they aren't food related.

>live with a bunch of girls and a gay guy

>one of the girls has coeliac disease & a fructose intolerance of some kind
>can't eat gluten, can't drink dairy, even being near flour is considered harmful
>can't eat onion, garlic, honey, almonds, the list goes on and fucking on
>is also a vegetarian
>feel guilty whenever I make pizza now because flour is a dirty word in this house
>gay guy boils pasta & tops with chicken stir fry sauce out of a jar

I gotta say I feel pretty great about cooking a shitload of delicious meaty food & eating it all myself.

>subletter roommate never threw away empty boxes
>constantly grabbed at empty boxes when rearranging fridge for more space
>tried to avoid paying last portion of bills until a check for her from uni came to our place

>roommate who sublet comes back
>her dad gave her nice nonstick pans that i've been using carefully
>within two weeks of her coming back and using them, little holes and dents everywhere
>constantly bought similar foods and let them go bad - not a lot of space in the fridge because of it
They're not my pans but it pains me a little to see them dented and scraped harshly.

>>5255491
>shampoo stealer

I hate you.

Also it's very minor but still incredibly annoying every time I see it, one of my housemates always opens the microwave about 20 seconds before the food is actually done and just leaves the microwave door wide open on 20 seconds. Close the fucking door and reset the timer.

>>5266008
i worked at a grocery store once, one day i found 4 brownies(in a box) on top of the trashbin. I asked them why they would throw it away? They just shrugged. I asked if I could take them, and I could.

I've been living with friends for 3 years now, next year will be the first time I'm living with a girl though. Am I going to be shocked at how unclean she is?

>>5266062
>last roommate left microwaves like that
>got food out of cabinets and left the doors open
>never did dishes because we (my wife and I) "had to be out of the apartment"
>we all worked 3rd shift

At least he never blatantly ate my food without asking.

>>5253761

>always referring to your single roommate as "they" or "them"

It's a girl, isn't it?

Daily reminder that Clinton passed Good Samaritan laws protecting businesses from litigation as a result of donating food to charity/the poor/whatever.
Businesses only continue to throw away good food out of laziness.

I'm pretty sure these threads like this that go on for weeks just constantly get bumped by the op regurgitating his old stories.

BTW I'm a world renowned author of a thread about bulking on oats mixed with red wine infused ramen trying to get into the restaurant industry with a no education.
Let's try cook something palatable, OK?

>>5266097
>do you mind, some of us are trying to wallow here
>go post about your cunty female roomies elsewhere
>fucking normalfags

>>5255581
>Gets mad that you spend your own money on yourself

What kind of bizzaro world do you live in?

>>5264479
>Left you when you where 7
>Comes back 12 years later
Yeah, no, you don't owe him jack shit, and the quicker you realize this, the better.

>>5264479
Was meant for :>>5264469

>>5263067
>the chick from chicago is a vegetarian but does eat fish

I always laugh at people who say they're vegetarians but eat fish.

>>5265964
>LotR obsessed
That wasn't banan bread. It was lembas.

>>5265964
>>makes two loves of banana bread

Somehow read that as makes love to two banana breads

>>5265395
brain development, have you heard of it? some girls look 16 at 10 or 11. you need counseling if you think that's ok.

>>5266080
Keep the bathroom organized, and set out clear limits on how much space she can use with her shit.
Pray she doesn't eat like a disgusting pig or have an asshole boyfriend.

Any more? These are fun to read.

>>5268647

I had a roommate from the Philippines who hated the smell of North American food, so she forbid me from cooking. She said the stink of my food kept her awake at night. I went a whole year eating only cold food which required no cooking.

(She made fish or goat sinigang every night. It smells like old socks dipped in poop.)

>>5268670
>forbid
Why the hell would you agree to that?