/ck/ - Food & Cooking

Chewing with your mouth open. My step-sister used to do this every time she came round for dinner. Fucking disgusting.

People do that IRL? I thought smacking was only for over-actors on b-grade sitcoms.

"LOOK EVERYONE, I AM EATING NOW"

people who cut everything into tiny pieces

people who think using their fingers is some sort of heinous crime

Yeah, smacking's/chewing with mouth open is an obvious one (so obvious I can't believe so many people do it) known people who even produce moist noises chewing with their mouth closed, but what are you gonna tell them? It's not worth everyone getting offended over.

Drowning food in fucktons of salt and/or butter.

When people ask me for diet advice and then tell me there's no way they'll stop eating any of the foods I tell them to cut out or not as eat much of, happens more than I'd like with the family.

saying "it's not fattening" when I simply don't feel like eating.

>>5224476
Jesus Christ I get irate when people chew a few seats behind me on the bus. I don't know why it drives me up a wall every time.

when more than one cook is in the household, double standards.

No matter how good it is, you never get thanks, it's always "nah you need to cube the carrots 1mm smaller. It's alright, I'll eat it though."

Then when their shit doesn't turn out how they wanted, "it can be done this way or the other way, it's perfectly fine."

fukn cunts

>>5224491
You need to be a pretty big asshole to even complain about something like that.

>>5224491
OH
OH
THIS SHIT RIGHT FUCKING HERE

NOTHIN IS EVER GOOD ENOUGH FOR MY MOM.
>fly down for Thanksgiving
>be dicing veggies for Sunday dinner before Thanksgiving
>why are you cutting them so fancy? Its supposed to be a home cooked meal not a fancy pants restaurant style one
>oh this needs more salt
>oh this needs more cinnamon
>oh this needs more everything as I proceed to dump a ton in
>start browning the veggies
>why are you doing that you're going to burn them and the stew is going to be charred
>dont use beef stock for the rice what are you doing use water

Im not a cunt, it is her house and her rules but man.

>leaving water-filled dishes piled in the sink
>not rinsing dishes
>pulling the plastic tab off bread bag, binning it and returning spun up up bread bag to the pantry upside down
>partial finishers of self-served/dictated portions
>disgusting, never-to-be-eaten leftovers in the fridge
>breakfast skippers

>>5224491

well they don't actually say "1mm", but it's too big. So I do it smaller next time and then it's too small.

It will ALWAYS be too something. then I call her fussy and she's all "oh no I'm not fussy. Now my dad, THERE was a fussy eater. My mother could never do anything exactly right..." etc etc etc

OH SOUNDS FUCKING FAMILIAR DOESN'T IT CUNT?!

>>5224457
Have you ever been slapped across the face?
No?
Then try smacking at my parents dinner table when I was a kid.
That's not even a pet peeve, that's just uncouth and lack of table manners. Fuck. They'd call it "schmultzing" or some German word like that. Pig disgusting.Close your fucking mouth!

Aside from chewing noises, are you annoyed, enraged, and/or disgusted by other certain ambient sounds as well (like sneezing, scratching noises, yawns, etc)? Sounds like some of you might have what's called misophonia.

>>5224528
If someone exaggerates a sneeze or yawn, I can get annoyed. I might have this.

Eating sounds annoy the fuck out of me. I think my friend just eats really loud or with his mouth open or both. A common scenario is we go get food or make food, then we're in my apartment and I'm trying to find something to watch (to drown out the noise) and his fat impatient ass is already eating loudly and I just want to kill kill kill

>>5224528

well I tell you what, it DOES enrage me when someone sneezes and UNNECESSARILY engages their voice box and ends it by YELLING.

Me sneezing: "ehh"chtszsthzt
Cunt sneezing: "aaah-CHOOOOOO!!!!!!!!"

Same with coughing. You don't need to yell.

Seriously - check yourself next time you cough or sneeze. You might be doing it and not realise.

>>5224508
>her

Well that explains everything.

>>5224528
That "condition" seems common (I'd even call it normal and not any kind of disorder) and I sure as fuck have it.
When I can't pinpoint a logical reason to making annoying noises like fucking smacking your fat stupid gob as you eat like a retard with an oversized tongue I get mad. I don't always express it but it sure as fuck annoys me. Even if some sound annoys me, I don't get upset if there is some sound logic behind it. Why someone or something is making that obnoxious noise and if it's necessary evil.

And seriously is there a single person alive who isn't annoyed by snoring sounds, especially when they are trying to sleep?

Calling bowls dishes and dished bowls
Fuck sake, you bought the damn things Mandy, you should know which one's which.

>>5224549
My mother is the fucking queen of making unnecessary and obnoxious sounds but she's fucking stupid anyway.
She drinks something and goes "Ahhhhh" (no not the sexy ahh she's not even remotely pretty) almost every fucking time.
Smacks her mouth when she eats.
Makes a shitload of noise with utensils when she eats and for some fucking reason just drops them against the plate with a loud clink when she takes a sip instead of putting them down nicely like a normal person.
She snores. Loudly.
Just by washing the fucking dishes she makes a shitload of noise but she's shit at that too and often leaves the underside of the plates unscrubbed while having them piled so they are dirty as shit all over. So much noise and the dishes were often still pretty gross and dirty. And she got annoyed when I cleaned and checked plates and glasses and utensils before using them.

Man my nerves have been spared many times since I moved out. That bitch got on my nerves for so many years.

>>5224566
Oh and she also has to talk with food in her mouth like some barbarian.
And she can't take criticism of any kind, ever. Even when I told her how annoying something was and there was no reason to do it the way she does.

Fuck women, seriously.

>>5224554
There's not a lot of research about it but yeah, it appears that it's more common than what was previously thought.

I hate smacking sounds as well but the ultimate noise I loathe are mouse-click noises.
>My brother plays WoW.
>PC in bedroom.
>We shared a bedroom when we were younger.
You won't believe how many pairs of earplugs I went through just so I wouldn't have to bite my pillow whenever I raged at the barrage of mouse-click sounds his fucking mouse made.
Just thinking about that noise now makes my blood boil a little.

>is there a single person alive who isn't annoyed by snoring sounds, especially when they are trying to sleep?

Same brother snores in his sleep. Strangely, snoring sounds never bothered me no matter how loud they may get.

>>5224566
>>5224568
Wow. You must love her so much, huh?

Slurping.
Makes me sick to my fucking stomach. If you feel the need to suck in everything you eat as loud as you possibly can, you can get the fuck out.

>>5224566
>>5224568

Starts with

>My mother is...

Ends with

>Fuck women, seriously

lel

>>5224506
You and I would NOT get along if we lived together.

I do all of those things and more.

>>5224540
I used to live with a real fat guy who made so much noise when he ate, it was as if he was doing it on purpose.

A few times he saw me grimacing at his noise and got all pissy, as if he wasn't drowning out the (high volume) television with his slurping and lip smacking.

>GOD DAMMIT ANON I HAVE TO EAT YOU KNOW
>Do you have to do it like a fucking animal though?
>-SIGH- I'M SORRY(!), IS THIS BETTER? IS THIS BETTER FOR YOU ANON?
>Look, do you mind, I'm trying to watch-
>I JUST WANT TO BE ABLE TO EAT IN MY OWN FUCKING HOUSE JESUS CHRIST
>-cartoonishly exaggerated eating resumes-

The amount of times I had to leave the room when he walked in with food... I swear he did it deliberately to get me out of there so he could control the remote/music and have the place to himself.

Fuck housemates, in my life I've lived with two decent guys and maybe 10 complete fucking monsters.

>>5224605

haha oh god the oedipal conflict is beautiful

>smacking/slurping noises
>chewing with your mouth open
I will beat the ever-loving shit out of you if you even so much as consider doing these things around me.

>leftovers
I hate having leftover food around. I'll either eat it all after cooking it, or toss it. It's gotten better since I met my wife (read: human garbage disposal.)

>backseat cooks
You'll be having a boiling water shower if you don't step off.

>>5224481
>people who cut everything into tiny pieces
makes things easier to eat.

>people who think using their fingers is some sort of heinous crime
It is if you're at the dinner table, unless it's finger food or a meal that is generally accepted as being eaten with hands, like pizza.

Also, what is smacking?

>>5224457
But it does make it taste better. The air helps dilute and spread out the flavor for more contrasts and even helps cools down portions for difference in temperature contrasts. It's like drinking sugar syrup vs cotton candy or eatting those edible bubbles vs drinking the fluid.

>>5224508
do irregular sizes

>>5224687
>Also, what is smacking?
Best I can explain, it's the sound made from the release of suction between your tongue and mouth.

>>5224502
>it is her house and her rules but man.
but your cooking
if she wanted it her shitfuck way she could have done it herself

>>5224554
I cannot stand smacking, or snoring or cat purrs

>my wifes face when i have smacked her across the gob for the third time that night because of snoring

>>5224706
>I cannot stand smacking, or snoring or cat purrs
>cat purrs

>>5224687
>Also, what is smackin

Close your mouth.
Press your tongue against the roof of your mouth.
Quickly open your mouth.

Repeat until someone kills you

>>5224708
Nigger you have no fucking idea how annoying that shit gets at 2am and this fucking cat is revving like a god damn jet engine

>>5224605
>>5224666

There's none of that, and I already mentioned that she is unattractive. All that would be forgiven if she was hot and I had boned her. How do you even pull a supposed conflict out of those words? Are you stupid or just female?

>>5224712
Then what the fuck are you doing with a cat nig nog if you don't like it's noises?! I swear people get more stupid by the day...

>>5224687
>eating pizza with your fingers

you're just disgusting

>>5224718
Some of us are normal human beings with normal human relationships.

Not that I would expect you to understand.

>>5224720
So what you're saying is that you're a moron and can't tell your boyfriend that you hate his cat and want it gone? Gotcha, champ.

>>5224724
Like I said, I don't expect you to understand normal human relationships.

>>5224729
>Like I said, I don't expect you to understand normal human relationships.

>>5224549
I fucking hate this bullshit. My brother does this all the freaking time, like stop fucking exaggerating your sneezes.

You have to try to sneeze that loud and with that much force

>>5224549
I like to make different noises every time I sneeze, trying to make each more ridiculous and annoying than the night. I learned all of my sneezing techniques from Chevy Chase.

Dude, you need to put your foot down about a rude sibling. If this isn't some once a year BBQ ribs mess he's doing, then you need to get a bit more offended. Put your fork down. Stop eating. Insist he chew with his mouth closed. If he doesn't, ask him if he has a deviated septum. Act very disgusted. After his doesn't quit for 3-4 times, stop eating with him. Make such a huge giant deal about it, that he'll want to stop.

I'm not that easily bothered, the only one that comes to mind is picky eaters and the people who criticize what you're eating because they read it was bad for you on naturalnews (who are ironically always fat)

>>5224556

But dishes/dishware refers to plates and bowls.

What is smacking?

And people who eat loudly or with their mouth open.
Children especially who eat with their mouth open, I wish the mother would lean over and punch them in the forehead.

Smacking, and god for-fucking-bid you chew with your mouth open around me. I will tell you to close your damn mouth, no one wants to see your chewed up food.

People who shake the pan round trying to impersonate some chef they have seen on TV.

I observed someone frying bacon, every fucking 5 seconds it was back to the pan.
>OOPS, TIME IS UP. BETTER VIOLENTLY AND EXTREMELY LOUDLY RATTLE THIS PAN ABOUT
>CHING CLANG CHRRRRHCHCHCH CLANG GONG GING GANG CHING

People who are over the age of 9 months old and have food on their lips and around their mouth.
Same guy in my work every day. EVERY day.

>>5224457
I smack my food sometimes like Alex at the end of A Clockwork Orange just because I think it's funny. Only when I'm by myself though.

being served pasta with the sauce poured over the top instead of coating the pasta thoroughly

>>5224566
>My mother
>She drinks something and goes "Ahhhhh" (no not the sexy ahh

dude wat

People who put a plate on their knees and watch TV whilst awkwardly hunching over and maintaining an unusual leg position when they have a perfectly good table.
Why?

>>5225334
>not sitting with one leg crossed over the other leaning back and bringing the plate up as you bring it up to your mouth.

>>5225334
My dad always did this with me as a kid, and I still usually do it when i'm alone.
I don't really enjoy paying all of my attention to the act of eating. I'll sit around a table to talk to the other people if there are any, but otherwise i'd rather watch TV, browse the internet, read etc. I just want to chill out and enjoy the evening, what's wrong with that?

>>5224457
Oh hell yeh. A cunt in my office eats with his mouth open all chewing away it's so gross. Another chick will straight up have a conversation with her mouth full if food like it's nothing. Makes me sick. I put my headphones in and pump the volume

>>5224717
Dude, how many times a day do you think about boning your mom?

>>5224717
You'd forgive your mom for her bad manners if she let you fuck her?

I think you have been watching too many chinese cartoons.

>>5225434
about tree fiddy

when you hear people hit the fork or spoon with their teeth when they take a bite, especially when they scrape the teeth over the fork to pull the food in, jesus bone on metal i hate it.

>talking with mouth in food
>smacking
>chewing with mouth open
>grunting/ahh sound after drinking water
>like you're so fucking refreshed, fuck you
>leaving a nonstick to soak in the sink
>not doing dishes immediately after meal
>leaving cooking appliances out
>anything metal with a nonstick
>electric stoves
>leaving knives out

The not washing dishes after a meal bothers me the most. I do most of my dishes during the food cooking process: if it all ends up in the pan at the end, I wash the bowls and utensils while it's cooking. That leaves only the pan and plate/fork at the end. I don't see how someone can end up with piles of shit in the sink from one meal

>>5227338
I do that ahhhhh! thing every time I take a sip of tea just to be a dick.

Pro tip: if you have any food-related pet peeves never live with Chinese people

People who are so lazy they don't mash the lumps out of their mashed potato.

Fuck you grandma.

People who justify double dipping.

>>5227390
If they are dipping a part of the piece of food that has not touched their mouth/saliva then there is no contamination.
This whole silly thing could be solved if people just dipped the entire top of each food item in the sauce.

People who act like double-dipping is some kind of mortal sin.

My room mate slurps his food. When he eats ramen he sluuuuuuuurps it and smacks his lips. I asked him to stop. He gave me a look and said 'this is how they eat noodles in Japan.' We're not in Japan. You're not Japanese.

He goes to a restaurant this last Friday, orders the all you can eat chicken. It comes with an initial 6 pieces, 2 breast, a wing, thigh and 2 legs. He eats the skin off of the two legs and half the meat on the thigh and is done. So long 13 dollars. His mom was pissed.

He says covering a pan you're cooking in, like sausage or something is superstition. Actual word he used.

>>5227338
>not going ahh after gulping down an entire glass of water in one go
I can't help it after having a particularly big and refreshing glass of whatever liquid I'm drinking.

My housemates always leave the sponge in the sink to sit in the water and various pieces of food they've let fall into the sink and not bothered to clear it away. So it ends up sitting in the damp with dirty food all day. No matter how many times I take it out the next time I go into the kitchen it's always back in there.

Fucking annoying.

>>5227422
Is there a reason to cover the pan and when should it be done?

>>5224566
Just like my parents. Back then I couldn't even eat near my Father because when he chewed half of the food in his mouth would fly on to my plate.

I would end up eating in my room so I wouldn't get their mouth crumbles all over my shit. Back then they had the audacity to call me a caveman for always eating in my room. I used to call them out on it all the time as well.

>>5224483
Fucking this. Not to sound like a dick, I know their kids. But my nephews chewing and smacking drives me up a fucking wall. This one time when I had to pick them up from daycare I ran in to them at snack time. The sound of like 100 little kids chewing with their mouths open and smacking in unison almost made me scream and tear my throat out.

>>5224484
I don't know, but I have an autistic brother who has always done this even though I told him not to. Makes me feel bad that I wanna smack him across the face whenever he eats.

>>5227427

I do it if I am making bratwurst inside, or when melting cheese on a burger. I cook a dish of pork chops with el pato tomato sauce and cover it at the end after I add beans. I think it helps cook it without burning, which is something else he does. Burns everything. 'I know its done if its burnt.' Then he cuts into a piece of pork and its pink inside. Such an insufferable ass.

>>5224483
>known people who even produce moist noises chewing with their mouth closed
I've been told I do this. But I have no idea why these noises are coming out of me. It's not like I swirl my tongue like the quad dildo in Eurotrip.
Do different cheeks isolate sound better?

My mom is the worst.

>She eats and always manages to get food on her shirt and all over her mouth.
>Talks with her mouth full and spits food everywhere
>Complains about every meal at restaurant and gives them attitude to the point where the whole table is uncomfortable
>stores food in cheeks and looks like a chipmunk and eats at it slowly while talking also.
>SOUNDS

Uugggghhhhh
And she loves to eat out constantly and wonders why I usually opt out.

Cutting all your food into bitesize pieces, then putting down the knife and switching the fork to your right hand to eat.

>>5227590
This.

And People who eat with forks in their right hand really irks me

My brother used to have the worst table manners

>Chews with his mouth open
>Smacks
>Slurps
>Talks with a full mouth
>Somehow managed to get soup up to his lower eyelids whenever we had soup. This was especially noticeable with tomato soup, due to the color.

We used to call him 'the Neanderthal'.

>>5227590
Yeah but do people actually do that? I've never seen that. Except maybe with like 4 year olds.

>>5227596
>And People who eat with forks in their right hand really irks me
How could this possibly irk you?

>>5227620
Quite common in north america.

>>5227631
Oh. I guess I shouldn't judge if it's like common practice in a place. In Australia I'm pretty sure I've never seen it. Just seems silly.

>>5227596
don't left handed people do this?

Chewing like a fucking cow- this one pisses me the fuck off, I can not be around someone that does this or have any respect for them

Not hand washing pots and pans(putting them in dish washer filthy)

Putting shit in a different place every time you do dishes

Leaving opened cans of shit in the fridge for months

Parents who think it's acceptable to let their kids drink soup through a straw.

I've seen this happen twice.
It exists.

People who breast feed their kids in public.

I'm not sure if I'm the strange one or if everyone I've eaten with have awesome table manners. I've never seen anyone eating with an open mouth, smacking, talking with food in their mouth, doing weird shit with their silverware or most of the things people here are complaining about. It's so rare that I think I might actually just not notice it at all, but I'm not easily irritated by minor things.

But if I have to complain about something, my father tends to fart sometimes and he does nothing to try and vacate to a less used part of the house or anything when he does it. It can kill the mood a bit when he lets out a big one, but I usually take that as my cue to leave the room and leave it at that.

>>5227670
Oh, fuck you, it's a kid eating. Why don't you stop eating in public so people don't have to look at you?

>>5227670
I guess mommy bottle fed you, huh?

>>5227668
This might be the most autistic pet peeve I've ever read.

>>5227704
My plate of food didn't get cummed on last night, at least I would hope so.

>>5227704
>Why don't you stop eating in public so people don't have to look at you?
Further proof that public breast feeders are attention whores of the highest caliber. So childish.

>Boyfriend keeps bottle of water by his bed
>Always wakes up late at night to chug water
>I mean fucking CHUG, gulping loudly and then when he's done, does that fucking gasp because he was drinking for so long
>I'm going to murder you in your sleep

>Sometimes we eat dinner on the couch
>He's left-handed and always has to sit REALLY close to me
>His arm/body ends up pinning me awkwardly
>Have difficulty maneuvering
>Snap at him to move
>He does, but somehow always migrates back
>I'm definitely murdering you in your sleep tonight

>>5227784
He just wants to be close to you...

>>5224506
This.


>people who buy perishable foods and forget about them in the fridge for months
>buying tons of organic produce and leaving it out/not finishing it in time to not attract fruit flies
>ever wondering why we have a fruit fly problem when it's clearly all your organic fucking tomatoes that aren't in the fridge for some reason
>organic gluten-free vegans
>people who drink box wine out of wine glasses
>leaving these wine glasses dirty in the sink
>getting pissed when other people break them by accident
>people who absolutely need to use a French press every morning for their autistic cup of organic fuck coffee
>people who buy a Brita pitcher and refuse to put it in the fridge because they hate cold water

sorry for the super specific peeves but living with these jackals has given me a nice list. Also:

>using my cast iron pan without permission then washing it with water and not drying or seasoning it. Seriously what the fuck man.

>>5227784
>not knowing that chugging ice cold water in the middle of the night when you are parched is literally the best feeling in the world.

support him. its extremely healthy what he's doing.

People that suck their teeth trying to dislodge something stuck in them.

We have a bowl of toothpicks and a pic related in a big ass in the bathroom. Yet, they still insist on sucking their teeth

>>5227668
Why, what's wrong with that? I sometimes did it as a kid and no one minded.

people who think cold water is better for boiling water.

I could kill you for being so stupid.

People who don't smack their lips, but you can still hear them clear across the fucking room even with their mouths close. They gasp for air and make noises that I don't know how the fuck they do them. My brother does this constantly and tried to convince me once that he heard being annoyed at chewing is a mental disorder. Bullshit, you need to learn to eat like an adult.

im just laughing at the fact that 4chan has a community of people upset by bad table manners.

love you guys.

>>5227819
Hold up a sec about the french press bruh.

It's pretty dope, but fuck purists. I can drink a cup of drip any time

>>5227819
How do you drink box wine?

>>5227596
Then don't go to Europe, fag.

>>5227633
I'm left-handed, I have to switch them so I don't Michael J Fox my whole shirt + the tablecloth.

>>5227590
>Cutting all your food into bitesize pieces, then putting down the knife and switching the fork to your right hand to eat.

Technically, the proper way to eat is to cut your next bite (not all of them at once), place your knife down, switch your fork to your right hand, and eat your bite.

Of course most people don't need ballroom etiquette so it doesn't matter.

>>5224549
I'm annoyed beyond all reason when someone has one of those little sneezing fits - when they repeatedly make those little quick sneezes.

JUST SNEEZE ONCE AND DO IT RIGHT!

>>5228017
>switch your fork to your right hand
what if i cut with my right hand and use my fork with my left hand because both of my hands actually work? seems like a lot of unnecessary effort to switch which hand your cutlery is in.

>having a very limited diet
>being unwilling to try anything remotely different
>overcooking steaks
>chewing with mouth open
>Using cream in carbonara
>processed shit
>people that think nandos is good food

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Misophonia

>>5228032
It is a lot of unnecessary work, which is why most people don't do it. Just explaining that is what old school proper dining etiquette dictates.

>>5224502
It doesn't matter whose fucking house it is. If she wants the cooking done a certain way, then it's her responsibility to do the cooking herself.

>>5228027
Im...not sure thats how sneezing works

>>5227838
>in a big ass in the bathroom

thread seems to be following a flatmate/living partner theme, so:
>A whole lot of shit related to ignorant females(mostly) on 'diets'
>Leaving the TV remote in some obscure as fuck place where noone can find it
>Brushing your teeth before breakfast
>Rocking up drunk at 1AM
>Being given junk food as gifts (I really appreciate the thought but pls no)

>>5228066
Not everywhere. I never get Americans and their obsession with "proper etiquette". Why the fuck would you force people to eat with their right hand if they're left handed? Why would you oppose to switching sides of the cup for same reasons, or putting that damn hand under the table. Do you jerk off with it? Why does it piss you off so much?
In countries with actual culture we've moved on because we realize that there's people other than ourselves who may have trouble eating the way we do. I'm sure that if you went to Japan no one would force you to eat with chopsticks if you couldn't.

>>5228183
>I can't eat without making a slob out of myself
>muh culture
Yeah, culture.

>>5228162
>Brushing your teeth after breakfast

>>5228224
>drinking OJ after brushing teeth

>>5228224
So you brush your teeth when you get up, eat, then leave it to fester till you next brush your teeth? Just brush after breakfast, there you go minty fresh.

>>5227427
You cover a pan when you don't want the water vapor to escape. So, while the food is being cooked from the heat of the pan, so simultaneously is it being steamed. This can be useful if you want to cook something all the way through without burning the shit out of it.

when I go through the effort of making and canning my own tomato ketchup and everyone just wants to use the heinz. My friends really are the worst kind of picky eater pleabs.

>>5228183
sigh. like I said, its not necessary for daily eating or even culturally expected. All I was trying to explain to you was that was the proper protocol. 99% of people don't do it, or care.

The next charity ball you attend you might need to worry about it, but my guess is you don't frequent those circles

>entire thread is about table manners

What enrages me is not when people put too much salt on food, but when they do it BEFORE FUCKING TASTING IT. Drives me up the wall.

>Make a pizza from scratch and give my roommate a piece
>He dips it in fucking ranch dressing
>"YOOOOO THIS IS BOMB BRO"

>>5228284
>make bad pizza
>get mad roommate has to mask flavor with condiment

My grandfather was a smacker when he ate. I was told it was because he had poor fitting dentures. My dad is starting to do it now. He doesn't have dentures. Must be an old man thing.

>>5228284
>watch roommate dip forkfuls of lasagna in ranch

uhh.... what is smacking?
How does everyone here know when i've never heard of it before in a food context?

>>5228311
Smacking lips, idiot. Google it.

>smacking
>open mouth chewing
fucking disgusting
>going mmm or hmmm over and over while you eat
FUCK OFF

>>5228342

People who scape the food off their tongue with a spoon when they eat and then eat the spoon shit.
It repulses me.

>>5227704
>>5227709
And the betas come out to defend their female overlords

>>5228352
WHO THE FUCK DOES THAT???

>>5227709
No, I was breast fed. I don't see what that has to do with anything.
I just don't want to see some lady get her tits out in a place reserved for people eating so her kid can suck on them. It's off putting.

I would also be repulsed if a farmer dragged his cow into a restaurant and started milking it.

>>5228352
the fuck?

>>5228352
did I misread this?

>>5228274
It just might be your ketchup is bland and awful, or not the flavour they want.

>using a billion different cookware items for a meal when its can be done with just a few
>making a huge mess everywhere, like sauce all up the wall, liquid on the floor, splatter marks all over the cooker etc and then not cleaning it up properly
>using sweet things for savory, like using my wooden cake mixing spoon for making a fucking curry or something, so the smell stinks it up forever

>people talking non stop at a meal
>eating super slowly (my grandmother takes over an hour to eat a tiny meal because shes so busy talking)
>picking at your food for ages, if you dont like it just leave it or something, dont prolong the agony.
>kids eating, they are fucking disgusting, puts me off my food
>smells in the room, like bleach, shit, overly strong perfume
>eating with your mouth open
>spitting stuff out onto the plate
>dirty cutlery
>angry/sad conversations, distresses me and stops me being hungry
>animals begging for food by the table

>>5228389
Fuck man that's probably exactly what's going on, I am cringing so fucking badly. Anon stop force feeding your shitty ketchup to other people.

>>5228406
>animals begging for food by the table

Worse than that, people that insist you do not feed the begging animals but also refuse to put them out of the kitchen while you eat.

>>5228406
Fuck you grandma, why couldn't you put the dog out the room.

Every time we ate he ran round the table barking, putting his paws on the table making those stupid dog whining noises.

>Suitemates using my cookware
>Tell them they have to wash it after they use it
>SURE, MAN OF COURSE
>They finish eating, don't wash it until hours later

>>5228281
I've never been served food that i found to be salty enough for me. I salt food out of habit now.

>>5228267

My dentist advises against that. Something about clearing up the crap that's accumulated during the night (there's bacteria living their lives inside your mouth regardless of whether you've put food in) before piling your breakfast on top.

>>5228357
>mfw breasts are there for breast feeding
>not for sexual pleasure
>mfw I have no face

>>5224481
How the fuck does someone cutting things into smaller pieces affect you whatsoever? At least OP's smacking is something that can personally irritate a person just because you're listening to it.

>>5228357
Would you also be bothered by an Amish woman showing her ankles?
Look away if you don't like it.

>>5228193
I'm left handed, you prick. If I ate with the wrong hand I'd spill everything. And since my parents live in the XXI century they never taught me to use the other hand because seriously, what's the point.

>>5224483
>Drowning food in fucktons of salt and/or butter.

Oh man, my friend always puts a thin layer of salt on everything she eats. My heart hurts just looking at it. I feel like a dick when I tell her she should cut that out, so I've just been playfully joking with her about it.

>"haha, just looking at that salt is giving me a heart attack!"

>>5224589
ANGHGNAGNGH This, fuck

I have a female friend in college, who I'm kinda trying to scrape off of my social circle, but anyway. When she eats small things (like M&Ms, nuts, etc), she fucking sucks them in. Like, I don't know how to describe this, she holds them in front of her mouth, then sucks them in one at a time, kind of like... Fuck, I don't even know what the hell kind of situation someone would be sucking solid things into their mouth.

She does a lot of shit that pisses me the fuck off. I've told her before that it's reeeeallly fucking irritating (she also chews with her mouth open, burps loudly, doesn't excuse herself. She fucking disgusts me.) but she just said something like "It doesn't affect you, why do you care?" AND THEN LATER SHE COMPLAINS TO ME ABOUT SOME LITTLE JOKE I MADE AND HOW I NEED TO TREAT HER BETTER BECAUSE FRIENDS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE NICE

You know what? FUCK YOU DANI. You're a fat fucking lazy stupid piece of shit hypocrite bitch, you fuck a new guy every week and nobody will ever love you because you're an unattractive fat bitch who is so, SO FUCKING SELF ABSORBED, BEING AROUND YOU PHYSICALLY HURTS ME FROM HOW MAD I GET.

FUCK YOU.

My ex eats with his mouth open making loud as fuck smacking sounds, talking while chewing with his fucking mouth open

Fucking animal, when he first met my parents they both separately told him to shut his mouth while he was eating, it was that bad.

He would partially toast(Read: warm bread) slather them on margarine, stack them ontop of one another, fold them BUTTER SIDE OUT and get fucking greasy marg all over his face
>He would do this about four times in a row
>Superthick sliced bread

>>5224717
I feel the same way dude. I have such little tolerance for ugly/fat women. They disgust me. It's just like, get away from me you awful stupid person, go be fat somewhere else.

>>5230195
self-loathing fattie detected

>>5228281
I made honey mustard chicken once and a friend put ketchup on it without even tasting it first. Motherfucking KETCHUP, what the fuck. Pissed me off.

>>5224457
itt: people who should cry moar

>>5227819
>hate cold water
What the fuck is up with this shit?

>have water dispenser in house
>dad constantly unplugs it and leave pitchers of water outside fridge
>because "I hate cold water"
>stuck with shitty room temp water

>he orders/serves drinks
>insists on making everyone's cup more shaved ice than liquid

>>5230199
My sister used to (and may still for all I know) slather everything in ketchup without exception.
>mfw watching her eat fucking canned corn so soupy with ketchup it looks like bloody diarrhea.

>>5230200
>mongoloid detected

>>5227836
It actually really is.

Still, fuck the cunt you replied to for having a boyfriend.

>>5227986
with a straw

>>5230216
waste of effort, since boxed wine is just a bag within a box

>>5228281
My fat fuck friend does this. I ask her, every time, "Why did you put salt on it, you haven't even tasted it yet?" and she always replies "It tastes better."

And she wonders why the fuck she's 40 pounds overweight.

>>5230222
Salt doesn't contain calories.

>>5230184
>dani
Why the fuck would you hang around someone with a name like "dani"? What, do you also have a friend named "Krystal" and "Candi"?

>>5230197
6' 165lbs, far from fat and definitely far from self-loathing. I kinda hate people.

>>5230230
Not the OP, but sister's nickname is Dani, short for Danielle.

>>5230225
That's true, but... Fuck you faggot.

>>5230236
Oh yeah, I forgot. She hates it when people call her Danielle.

I'm gonna start calling her Danielle.

You wouldn't happen to be a diabetic, would you?

>>5230222
explain to me how eating something with 0 calories is going to make you overweight

>>5228270
Is this a reason to cover the pan when cooking rice then? I don't bother and recently it's been coming out a bit undercooked

>>5230244
Okay, okay, I know it doesn't. The two statements were poorly juxtaposed. Her excessive use of salt irritates me, and in addition to that, she eats way too much and exercises far too little.

>>5227426
Ugh I hate that so much, I always make a point of squeezing out the cloth and hanging it on a little hook above the windowsill
That or I just hide the sponge I use to wash dishes so those fuckheads can't ruin it and I have to buy another one or they just keep using it forever without rinsing it, ever.

>>5227668
Oh I did this just recently when I got two teeth removed

>>5230297
i've literally taken to keeping my sponge and dish soap in my bathroom because of retarded roommates like this. seriously, how fucking hard is it to wring out a sponge??

i bought 2 sponges when i came back here after visiting my parents over christmas break. 1 was left in the kitchen, and i kept 1 for my personal dish washing needs. the one i left in the kitchen has turned from its original yellow color to a dull brownish color because it's consistently left in the sink soaked with water. the one i've kept to myself still looks essentially new, a bit scraped up from washing cheese graters. i wouldnt even want to wash my dishes with the one kept in the kitchen, that shit doesn't seem sanitary to me.

>dainty sissies who eat finger food with forks
>people who expect you to say grace despite not knowing your beliefs
>people who say "i shouldn't be eating this" as they eat it
>people who talk about bowel movements while eating
>obese people or homosexuals discussing sex while eating
>people who don't specify exactly how they want their food at restaurants then get mad when it isn't brought to them in the way they like.
>people who slurp noodles instead of rolling them

>>5227784
He sounds fat
Start by 'accidentally' hitting him in his sleep, it feels good

>>5228423
Now wait a second. It might be because they don't want to give the dog attention.
Negative attention still is attention. The best thing you can do is block his view/snout with your arms.

>>5230222
Her kidneys will shut down and she will die.

>grandpa couldn't eat salt because of his cardiac/kidney condition
>tfw last few months before he died, you started eating at his place with your mom
>mom cooks all foods completely salt-free
>never add salt anyways

I don't understand. The only things I like salt on is my chips, popcorn and on things that really _REALLY_ require it. Like insipid(?) soups.

PS: I'm not a native speaker.

>>5224566
Are you my sibling?
You think your mother is bad, my mom is all of that times ten.

>yells when she sneezes
>literally fucking yells, you can hear her in my headset on the top floor while she's in the basement
>even with her mouth closed you can hear every piece of food going through her mouth
>snores
>every morning on the commute to school, clears her throat nonstop

The last is the worst. It's not even just a little clearing, she's full on coughing while gurgling her throat. It's disgusting, for a 30 minute drive, every. goddamn. morning. And she insists that she doesn't do these things all the time, "just once in a while."

God damn I want to punch her she makes TOO MUCH NOISE.

>>5230308
>say grace
I'd to like to know if it's just something that happens in American films. I mean, I've seen countless of flicks where some female's tagged along the protagonist of the story and he's kindly asked if he wants to say grace, which he's completely unable to but can't refuse because of the chance of pussy.
Do people really just assume you know how to say grace?

>>5230663
It's really common here, especially in the South. As a server, I've had to awkwardly avoid whole tables saying grace before going up to them and asking them how there food is.

As for pet peeves:

When fuckers scrape their teeth against their utensils while eating. Also watching people bite into ice cream and other cold things.
I have sensitive teeth. I can FEEL that shit just by seeing it.

>>5230645
haha, insipid means stupid.

>>5230297
>>5230303
My problem is we have a washing rota so even if I hide a clean sponge from them for when I do it the rest of the week they're all washing my stuff with the dirty one anyway. My life is hell.

>>5227422
>We're not in Japan. You're not Japanese.
>mfw

>>5227386
people who want pureed/riced potatoes instead of mashed potatoes

go eat at applebee's you moron

>>5230162
>>5230167
I do look away, why the fuck would I stare at that?
Are you retarded?

That doesn't stop it from being a complete attentionwhorey, arrogant thing to do in the middle of a restaurant.
I don't think many people want to see that when they are eating.

>>5230795
I mash my potatoes, retard.
I just don't like it when people leave lumps in it, it takes about 10-20 extra mashes to get them out.

How does it feel to be a moron?

>>5228267
>brushing your teeth

>>5230761
no it doesn't, it means flavorless

>>5230801
the lumps are nice, the contrasting textures is pleasant

you should probably just stick to jarred baby food

>>5225298
If the food I'm cooking has some kind of coating (breadcrumbs, flour etc etc), I do it to see if it ready to be flipped.

>>5228061
>having a very limited diet

Fucking this!
Getting fat? How about making your meals so you get 50% veggies, 25% meat+gravy and 25% potatoes, pasta, rice, legumes etc etc. Still hungry? Eat another serving of vegetables.
It's not fucking rocket science.

>>5230663
>Do people really just assume you know how to say grace?
people who do are religious fanatics or just fucking idiots. sensible people will only ask you to say grace if they know you're actually religious enough to know how it works. personally, i've never been asked to say it myself (pretty fucking glad because i have no idea how), but i've sat in on some dinners where they do and i just sit quietly until it's over and we eat.

>>5230838
No, I stick to regular mashed potato like almost everyone except lazy people make.
You are the minority here. Maybe you should stick to whatever shit you like and leave us good mashed potato eaters to eat our real mashed potato.

>>5225262

spoken like a true woman

>>5224502

She needs to piss off. You sound like you know what you're doing.

>>5228352

Hahahaha, this post + the 3 replies cracked me right up.

>>5228406
>angry/sad conversations, distresses me and stops me being hungry

So much this. A meal at a top restaurant could be ruined by this. It's like Epicurus said, it's not about the food, but the people with whom you enjoy it.

>>5224457
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EYtFH2bFCfg
Warm it up

>>5224457
I agree. Or even people that chew with their mouth shut but still manage to make squishy noises that could be heard from the moon. Cant stand it.

>>5224491
my ex would basically complain about everything I made and she's not even a particularly good cook. Making omlette. No no, you gotta put more milk in it. Broccoli in it.....? ummm? You have to cook it longer......you burnt it!
Other times it was a similar conversation and then I'm like, "you know what? you cook it"
"but you said you'd make it for me!"
please just shut up

>>5224506
BREAKFAST SKIPPERS

fuck that shit

Plate-licking master race reporting in. U mad?

When my boyfriend eats anything with any sort of sauce on it, he ends up with a huge mess around his mouth. I've met toddlers who make less of a mess while eating than he does.

Plus, he smacks.

Fucking obnoxious.

>"diet" food like drinking an extra slimfast as a snack, while continuing to eat takeout and pizza daily
>my (female) roommates who never set foot in a gym in their life have a huge container of whey protein powder for bodybuilders, probably related to their weight loss attempts (I know)
>fatasses who try to tell me about nutrition
>people who buy food and let it rot
>people who fill the fridge up with junk they never eat
>housemate bought CINNAMON BUTTER.

So you can only use it for like toast, and you'd need a different butter for cooking. You need like five different butters way this bitch buys it. It's nearly empty and been in fridge for months

>people who let their kids eat like shit and act like they're helpless to do anything about it

You're the parent, do your job.

>people who leave my kitchen a mess
>people who make disgusting smelling crap
>people who manage to set off the smoke alarm, even better, do it at 3 AM, even better, do it repeatedly
>even better, do it immediately again ten minutes later as they continue trying to cook
>people who throw away perfectly fine food
>people who think the expiration date is gospel without actually checking the food

>>5228406

I use one wooden spoon/spatula for everything. Oatz, omelettes, marinara, anything. You WASH it.

>>5224674
>toss it.

You wasteful ingrate, I'll find you and fuck your eye sockets out. Shit.

>>5225302

My ex did this. He'd shove a burger down his throat and return to the vidya, mustard all over his damned face. Hence "ex". Filthy pig.

>>5227386

Lumps are best part, faggot.

>people who blend mashed potatoes to shit
>people who skin potatoes

SKIN IS THE BEST PART. No skin, not worth eating.

>>5227426

Feel ya.

>>5227819

Except the room-temp water and the french press, this. You bought it, eat it.

Cold water hurts my teeth.

>>5228061

All of this. I hate picky eaters.

ya smacking is disgusting. chew with your mouth closed. for fucks sake

>people who buy salad as a diet food and drown it in ranch and cheese crumbles
>people who think they need gatorade for muh electrolytes when they go for a walk
>people who drink shitty coffee and wonder why it tastes bad
>people who think a starbucks milkshake is coffee and act sophisticated for drinking it
>fad dieters "oh i'm gluten-free now. what no the cake is fine, my mcdonalds is fine, but oh god no gluten I'll die."
>people who eat during lecture, not just a granola bar or something but huge full meals that stink to hell
>everything fat people do

>>5231829
>ex

You choose well. I would not be able to stand that. You complain about my cooking, you can do it yourself from then on.

>>5231913
>eating during lecture
FUCK. I thought after college I wouldn't have to deal with this shit, but it's everywhere. It feels like people get some stupid excitement out of eating on public transportation or in a place where everyone else has to watch them.

In lectures/etc
>loud ass wrappers
>half the time it's crunchy shit like chips
>hearing them chew
>take forever to fucking eat it
>constantly taking the cap on and off a bottle to drink

Can these people even go a few hours without fucking eating? "but muh lunch-" no fuck you, If you're short on time to eat don't try to make up for it by eating in class/a space were you're surrounded by people that's not a restaurant. I've skipped plenty of meals running late, you won't die.

Worst:
>eating on the train, huge meals
>all dem crinkling wrappers and strong smells
>why is it always Chinese food or McDonalds
>EATING ON THE SUBWAY
>WITH YOUR FINGERS
>LICKING YOUR FINGERS

One day I may spontaneously combust; I'm so sick of this shit. I don't even like seeing movies anymore because of all the wrappers/boxes/chewing/SOMEONE ALWAYS SPILLS.

>>5232474
When I was in high school I took Japanese at night and these two morbidly obese guys would bring dinner (basically a fuckton of McDonald's) with them and eat it during class.
Class starts at 7pm. Why the fuck couldn't you eat earlier?

Also,
>doctor insists I get blood taken before class
>eat protein bar during lecture because anemic
>professor yells at me to put it away
>guy drinking coffee
>professor doesn't give a shit
>falls of desk and spills everywhere

Man the smacking thing is the big one for me as well. Trouble is my roommate has sinusitis and has a blocked nose 90% of the time. He eats a quite a few snacks in my room due to its proximity to the kitchen. Makes horrible smacking noises since he can't eat with his mouth closed. Drinks his tea super hot and super fast so makes slurping noises as well. Whenever I've asked him to be a little quieter he's stormed out of the room because he thinks I'm being a dick about his medical condition. Ido feel like a dick saying it too but shits too much for me. Like the sound of teeth on metal spoons.

>>5227590
>>5227620
The one thing in this thread I do. I didn't know it was bad, never been corrected on it

>>5227840
I was told when I was a kid that you were supposed to use cold water from the tap for cooking because it had less stuff in it from the pipes or something

>>5224502
>dont use beef stock for the rice what are you doing use water
BEEF STOCK! I never considered this, but next time I cook rice I'm doing this.

>>5230195
I don't think you're judgmental enough

>>5230308
>>obese people or homosexuals discussing sex while eating
How about ANYONE talking about sex while eating.

>>5224476

Fucking this.

I think my only pet peeve is making noise while you eat. My son makes damn near every noise you can think of when eating. I've mostly trained him to not smack his lips, slurp or chew with his mouth open, but the hard one is getting him to take reasonable bites. He always bites more than he can chew off and makes this disgusting sound in the back of his throat when he tries to move it around to chew it. I don't get it because by his age all the kids in my family stopped doing it, I guess my parents/grandparents were better at stopping this behavior than I am.

I also hate when people say something I need to respond to when my mouth is full.

>>5224506
>breakfast skippers
How does this even effect you? Some of us just can't eat in the morning. I get nauseous if I eat within the first 2 hours after waking up.

>people who think using their fingers is some sort of heinous crime
I'm guilty of this one, though I do avoid it in front of most people. I love eating with my hands. I'd eat soup with my hands if I could.

>Brushing your teeth before breakfast
It's better for your teeth to brush first. I admit I brush after I eat though. I can't eat if it doesn't taste good.

>>5230663
A lot of people say grace. I don't do it, but I'll participate if I'm a guest regardless of their faith.

>>5224457
HOLY SHIT, MY SISTER USE TO SIT IN THE LIVING ROOM AND EAT APPLES RIGHT?
BITCH WOULD KEEP THE APPLE TO HER LIPS.
TAKE A BITE.
CHOMP ON IT LOUDLY.
THEN SUCK ON THE SPOT SHE JUST BIT.
LOUDLY.


Sorry, remembering that was like war flash backs...

My friend fucking grunts and breathes so heavily when he eats, it is so fucking irritating. He's not fat so I don't really understand what's going on. Maybe he isn't fucking breathing until he's chewing.

>>5232502
>He eats a quite a few snacks in my room due to its proximity to the kitchen.

What the fuck kind of reasoning is that?

>>5224457
are you a nigg?

>>5224457

>roommate in college
>picky as fuck when it comes to food
>things he enjoy: boiled hot dogs, ham steaks, bagels, pretzels, french fries, coca-cola
>things he can't stand: vegetables and fucking everything else not in the "enjoy" list
>fat as shit
>says he's trying to lose weight by eating less
>eats chewy fruit snacks "made with real fruit and foritifed with vitamin c" saying that's how he gets his fruit groups in his diet
>couldn't bring him along anywhere to eat because he can only eat shit like that
>has to use baby wipes because he always gets swamp ass from eating shit food
>found out from his ex-gf that he had a 3-inch penis

I hated that year so badly.

People who grab things off your plate without asking. Or, hell, forget asking. Just a little notice is all I need. A quick "hey, I'm grabbing some of your fries" before your disgusting hand enters my field of vision which once only contained lovely food.

>>5232577

Had a co-worker do that. He was talking about how he found out one of his ex's had epilepsy. He couldn't be together with her because he was afraid that if he got a blowjob from her, she would bite his dick off. I muttered, "like a hotdog" after that and he laughed and dropped the subject.

>>5232474
There was a girl in one of my classes that had a soda with her every day.
She would pick up the soda shake the cup a while then drink it.

As if the chick was at home and there wasn't people around her who were trying to take notes.

I wanted to punch her every 5 minutes she shook that cup and the ice rattled around.

>>5232672
>brothers growing up
>hey, mind if I have a bite of that?
>proceed to chain together several large bites
fucking assholes

>be cold outside
>cat wants to sleep in my bed tonight
>try to be a nice guy and let him
>mfw that fat bastard is licking himself for 30 minutes strait at 2 in the morning
Call me a cynical asshole, but that kind of nonsense is a deal breaker for me. Dog does the same shit during flea season, or whenever he just feels like fucking with me

>>5233557
Are you on the right thread?

>>5232528
This is true. The inside of a water heater is a disgusting cesspit.

>>5233626
I think he misunderstood "pet peeve"

>>5224457
>when a person starts salting their food without even tasting it

>people who make ANY noises during eating, smacking, crunching, gulping down a beverage so loud like he had a thyroid cancer or something etc.

>>5233676
hahahahahahaha

>>5233676
This is incredible

You guys are all fucking autistic.
Never change. I love you all.

>>5233676
That is still considered a pet peeve retard

I don't like it when people talk at the dinner table. Everyone should finish their meals and save conversation till AFTER the eating time. It's like talking during a film or anything talking isn't required in.

If I had a family I'd ensure none of them spoke during mealtime or after the hour of 6:00

>>5233731
You actually have something wrong with you. Don't you?

>>5227644

i'm left handed... i use a knife with my right hand and a fork with my left...

>>5233732
might as well just lock your kids in closets and slip their food in through a slot at the base of the door.

sitting around and talking while eating is a fundamentally human thing to do. it binds people together and is a foundation of human social networks and cooperation.

>>5233732
>If I had a family

>>5233732
You would have loved dinner at my grandfathers house.

>>5233746
I approve of talking to each other, it's fine and I don't mind that.
Talking whilst eating is obnoxious and I make sure to ignore everyone who attempts to make conversation during feeding time.

>>5233744
Me too.

>>5233750
>feeding time
Yes, this is what normal people call meals together and not what you do to dogs.

>>5233744
I'm left-handed, but I switch back and forth. I use my fork in my left hand, and when I want to cut something, I move my fork to my right hand and my knife to my left hand, then back.

>>5233744

+ watching my dad eat is awful... he's really fat but he takes his shirt off to eat... gets food everywhere ... on and around himself... eats the food that fell on/around himself (except if it fell on the floor). after he's done with his plate... he does it regardless of who is over too...

i really hate people taking things off my plate... getting things out of serving dishes with used forks, anyone touching or leaning over my food, and double dipping...

also can't stand anyone too close to me/interrupting me if i'm washing dishes...

>>5233755
Same shit different name.

>>5233756

i can't eat or smoke with my right hand... it feels really awkward and unnatural... but i use it to hold a knife to cut food and to drink... for whatever reason i tend to pick cups up with my right hand

>>5233750
>being unable to walk and chew gum at the same time

>>5233761
It's like sex: you don't want the whore to talk, you don't need a lover to say anything. Everyone else needs to say something unless my cooking was just that on point.

So I guess if you don't want people talking, don't cook shit and call it a meal.

>>5233755
Lol'd, feeding time
Oh anons

>>5233737
No. His cat annoyed him so it's a pet peeve. English might not be your first language. Right?

>>5233837
How many things are wrong with you?

>>5233774
>It's like sex: you don't want the whore to talk
There's something wrong with you, man.

>pet peeve

cutting open a pomegranate to find that all the arils are pink and colorless.

god damn it. what a waste

>>5228017
Depends on the country.

>>5233860
THIS. makes me so angry.

>>5224457
i got a few that drive me up the fucking wall:

>bunch of girls eating lunch in classroom
>there's always one who can't eat normally
>sandwich from vending machine, noisy plastic wrap
>still has sandwich in foil while eating
>with every bite her face meets that noisy fucking foil
>chews with mouth open
>smacking sounds
>talks while eating, producing some weird-ass sounds
>"so i said mnjamnjamnja, that i don't want any of their mmm, mnjamnjamnja..."
>sandwich has the most horrible salami in it, stinks up the whole classroom
>pushes her entire face into the sandwich to take a bite, still manages to eat for a half an hour

my mom's side of the family does a weird thing, where they ram the fork into the plate, you can hear them scraping away to the next room, even though the radio is on, and they're all talking pretty loudly. they also mix small amounts of food together before they take a bite. it annoys the shit out of me.

my boyfriend's dad. he's a nice guy, but i have to sit next to him at lunch:
>always rushes while eating, like someone's gonna take away his meal
>breathes heavily while chewing
>spaghetti night, they're always slightly overcooked
>says they're not soft enough
>has a special bowl for sauce
>"sauce must not touch spaghetti" is his life motto
>complains about the texture
>"this could use some breadcrumbs and butter for crunch, it's too smooth"
>what in the actual fuck?
>cuts up the pasta before he eats it


this doesn't bother me, i just don't get it:
boyfriend's dad always puts pepper in soup. it's a very small shake, you can't even tell it's peppered. my grandpa does it too, maybe it's an old man thing.

>>5227644
Some do some don't. Most people aren't actually totally left-handed. For instance, I use my left for everything, but I'm a switch-hitter when it comes to masturbation.

>>5233895
Plate noise makes my teeth hurt.

>>5224457

>cook a casserole for a friend of mine
>plate it up
>it's steaming hot, right out of the oven
>he immediately starts eating it
>it's so hot he could impossibly taste anything except for pain
>breathes really loudly because it burns his mouth

Dude. Just, you know, wait. Or blow on it a bit. Seriously. Man...

>visiting a friend
>we decide to eat something
>friend asks me to fetch some tableware from the dish rack in the kitchen
>knives and forks has old food sticking to them
>glasses are chipped and are cloudy as if someone smudged grease on the inside of them

>>5233930
put your top teeth on top of your bottom teeth, press them together and move them side to side slowly quickly.

>>5228027

THIS
>>5224549
DUDE, READ
>>5228027

If somebody sneezes, I WANT them to sneeze fucking hardcore. A satisfying, loud HAAAA CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, man. That's what it's all about in life.

I dont like it when people do rolling stops at stop signs.

I need to know if youre gonna stop, or run right through my car, asshole.

>at friends house
>he starts to whip up some no name mac and cheese
>fuckincasuals.jpg
>anyways
>pours half of the box into the water
>the rest goes into a bowl
>starts eating the raw macaroni
To each his own I guess

Also, my family has something against measuring ingredients for whatever reason.
Like gee, I wonder why the rice has the consistency of mashed potatoes?

>>5233942
heh, I'm guilty of doing this, I just get too impatient sometimes

>>5233942

>about to cook food
>ask friend who's sitting at computer if he wants some too
>'hell yeah i'm starving'
>try and make it extra good so he jerks off my ego
>hand him big bowl of delicious food and walk away
>moments pass
>come back in to ask if it was good
>bowl still full
>cold as ice
>fucking fuck him

Wanna trade friends?

>>5234565
>so he jerks off my ego

you sound like one of those faggots that everyone hates. you probably don't even realize it.

>>5234565
S-sigrid?

>work in restaurant/deli as catering guy
>always busting my ass trying to organize and get orders together
>every day without fail, dumb nigress cashier turns around and asks "anon, are you busy right now?"
>YES I AM FUCKING BUSY
>stop for five seconds and give her a stare that would burn a hole through diamond
>"WHAT." I don't ask so much as exclaim
>"oh anon I need you to bring me some cups/napkins/knives/forks etc etc something"
>there are three cashiers, no reason she can't step away for a minute and get what she needs like she's supposed to
>"NO I CANNOT, I AM BUSY"
>"oh, OK"
>instead of going to get her shit she keeps asking people if they are busy until some bitch brings it to her
>too fucking stupid to even comprehend how much I hate her and how pissed I get

I'm not even a dick, I help people as much as I can when its reasonable. But I'm always busy and unlike them I'm on a schedule, foods got to be there on time or its my ass.

>mfw

>>5233758
>he's really fat but he takes his shirt off to eat...
you fucking asshole, i just spent a half hour cleaning spat out tea from my desk and keyboard

>Loud TV watchers
seriously why the fuck do you not want it at a comfortable and relaxed volume
and if you are deaf, have consideration for those of us that aren't
>plunging my coffee when i'm not looking without me asking and doing so way too fucking early
>making and saving me a fatass junk dinner for when I return late from work
>elitist/stubborn vegetable underboilers
>sarcastically commenting on my food being "wow that's a big healthy breakfast" or whatever
>lighting incense

i've had a lot of really chilled out and cool flatmates and get along well with the vast majority, i'm just nitpicking some rare mildly annoying bullshit over the years.

>>5230738
My ex father in law was an ordaned minister from fucking biblesville missouri, and even that family didn't say grace while eating out.

>>5235673
People like you shouldn't live with others.

>>5236074
something 40-50% of American young adults (age 18-28) live alone these days.

I agree though, he should probably live alone

Salting your food. Especially salting you young child's food. I know it's a stupid pet peeve and probably irrational but it pisses me off. You're not helping your kidney or heart at all adding salt since you're going to end up ingesting far too much sodium in the end.

>>5236097

>I hate seasoning
>my body is so fragile that a little sprinkle of salt its going to wreck my shit
>I live in a nanny state
>I hate when people enjoy things
>sodium is worse than hitler

>>5236097
i get ultra mad when i cook for someone and they salt it without tasting it first


but i'm not sure that's what your post is about

that biscuit looks so good, i want one

>>5236114
>>5236121

I was born with a heart condition and only one kidney which requires me to eat as little as sodium as possible. That, along with the fact that so many people in my country (Canada) consume more than the daily recommended amount of sodium, must just make me project my ideology onto others. I don't say anything (though I do half-tease my sister about it) but it really gets to me.

>>5236097
>>5236121
>>5236147
i never understood the salt hate, health reasons aside. but i mean good tasting doesnt always = health, i understand if someone is like THIS IS HORRIBLE, I NEED SALT. but have you ever considered that some people simply enjoy salty foods more? i'm that way with black pepper, no matter what im eating i usually want black pepper on it.

>>5236151

My issue isn't about the taste. I love salty foods but I don't eat them for health reasons. Again, I say nothing to anybody about it, it's just a personal feeling that I get when I watch someone salt their food. Do what you want, but I'm going to feel that way silently.

>>5236151
>black pepper
Enjoy your penile cancer

>>5236182
>worrying about cancer in 2014
Enjoy your paranoid personality disorder.

>>5236184
I can't help it.

Now excuse me while I give myself another breast and testicle examination.

>>5224484
>eating on public transport
disgusting

>>5232502
Nah, fuck that shit. Even if I completely hold my breath I can manage to eat silently and with my mouth closed. You just have to pause your chewing for a half a fucking second in order to inhale/exhale, then close your lips and resume chewing. The loud tea slurping just makes zero fucking sense, tell him to let it cool a little bit. Seriously, does he think you need to have your mouth open 100% of the time if you can't breathe through your nose? I mean, yeah you have to hold your breath a bit, but that's not really an inconvenience compared to pissing everybody in the room off with incessant noises, especially if he's a heavy snacker. Tell him to fuck off and quit being so childish.

>>5233895
>breathes heavily while chewing
There is a special place in hell for these people.

>>5224457
My brother does that too. It's even worse when I mention it to him and he gets mad and claims to not even smack. He also once said that he needs to keep his mouth open because he has trouble breathing through his nose or some shit.

>>5232519
It's not actually wrong. It's just a style that's common in the united states. Reading up, it originated in Europe and then fell out of favor. I do it sometimes, depending on the dish. But really, it's not something worth worrying about, as it doesn't affect those around you significantly.

>>5230156
I think it was that the acid in food makes the enamel weaker, so this is actually bad for you.

>>5224566
>>5224568
I never understood why some other men seem to hate women with a passion, as if they perpetrated some grand slight against them as a gender. Thank you for explaining "mommy issues" to me.

>>5224719
>eating pizza with silverware
I don't even..

>>5225159
I naturally can't control my sneeze noises, and sometimes they come out very loud and like "AHHHTOOWEEECH". Was very embarrassing when I was younger and had to sneeze in a quiet classroom, everyone would turn around "shut the fuck up anon"
>allergies

>>5230645
>>5230833
could he have meant insipient?
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/insipient

>>5227668
parents are often exhausted and/or have a tough time trying to get their picky ass kids to eat adequate nutrition, so if they want to drink soup through a straw most people would just say "fine". don't judge until you're in the same situation.

in my household, the person who cooks doesn't have to clean. just bad manners to let the cook clean
>family friend living with us catches onto this, starts cooking shitty dinners every night
>watery pasta sauce on top of the pasta instead of mixed in, plain tuna and melted cheeses etc
>uses every utensil in the kitchen because she doesn't have to wash them
>uses 2 dishes max when she's cooking for herself thus has to clean them herself

same girl
we all share food expenses but she tries to make me feel guilty for eating certain things and talks up how expensive things are
>"anon this is a very expensive cheese, it's a treat, it must be eaten sparingly... because it's very expensive"
>see receipt, it's 3$ for a huge hunk >oh you fancy... huh?

not even like she's used to po' rations either, prior to divorce was living an upper e side lifestyle

>tries to make it seem like I'm lazy when I ask her to clean up after herself in the kitchen once in a while

she has a very condescending personality. entirely undeserved considering she's a divorcee with a drinking problem (supposedly recovered but still gets too tipsy) bumming off a family friend otherwise she'd be homeless.

>starts drinking at 2pm, can't handle her shit
>by 7 is talking out loud with trains of thought that trail off, starts criticizing my creative career path
>resist urge to tell her don't be bitter because you have no opportunities left in life

>>5230230
>I have a close friend named Krystal and an ex named Candi
>alrightythen.exif

>>5241617
in general a pet peeve although I'm getting better at tolerating this is people who leave the dishes piled up expecting someone else to do them instead of cleaning them as soon as you're finished using them.
another
>be vegetarian, not preachy and I don't mind sitting across from someone eating a burger or steak or whatever
>when people assume I do and get REALLY CLOSE to my face (kissing distance) while chewing meat with their mouths wide open revealing a full mouth load "am I grossing you out anon, huh? am I grossing you out?"
>well, shit, yeah, but not because I'm a vegetarian

>when you're eating healthy and an obese person tries to tell you "it's not good for you to eat TOO healthy " and drops some heavy broscience
>wat

>>5233774
>not dirty talking your way to a cathartic mutual orgasm
k

>>5224724
You are so retarded it actually hurts. I'm not one to use the ol' "hurr durr autism" line, but you seem so socially inept it would be extremely fitting

>>5224506
why is this thread still here. this post covered everything.

My list of /ck/-related peeves could be a fucking novel, I swear.

Smacking, bad manners in general.
There was a lady who used to share the same table at my break at work who had awful manners. She'd smack, talk with food in her mouth, talk WHILE putting food in her mouth, run her fingers on her plate/bowl when she was done, and picked her nails with her teeth after that. Nasty shit. I'm glad she moved.

Smoking while other people are eating and mispronouncing shit.

Also people who think they know anything about cooking or dieting when they talk to me, when they clearly don't.
>anon why did you waste all your money on one knife, I bought a whole set with the same amount!

>>5224483
And this, fucking this. People ask me how I lost so much weight, and when I tell them that I started eating a plant-based diet, they get all bitching with "well, I don't LIKE vegetables though"
>mfw
I mean shit, I'm telling you to live on vegetables, just eat more of them. You aren't five, suck it up and eat your damn broccoli.

>>5241624
Are you me? Because that shit happens all the time since I decided to go vegan, and it is the most irritating shit, I swear.

>>5242734
>I'm NOT telling you to live on vegetables
Oops, my bad.