/ck/ - Food & Cooking

thanks doc

Awful

>>5193902
his house looks like a bad hotel
this makes me sad

>boneless
Come on bro. You're better than that.

>>5193902
He was in /fa/ last night.

>Paging Norman Bates

>>5194117
No way. Go on.

>>5194137
He said that he always wears suits because he admires the era where men dressed more professionally. He doesn't own any jeans and has three t-shirts. He was talking about how he was planning on college and stuff like that.

>>5194149
dont forget the aspergers

>>5194160
He actually got a little mad when people called him aspergers and asked if he was. He said that he doesn't have it.

>>5194149
This dude will fucking own all the shitheads talking down on him. I imagine he's smart as fuck and he's well mannered and classy. Will be top CEO or something some day.

>>5194149
Except he isn't dressed professionally. Either those are daddy's clothes or he really needs to get a grip on what his actual size is. A suit won't make you look any better if you're swimming in it. It's like a sad, lonely version of prom night.

>>5194276
Well said. Maybe hes expecting to fill out a bit though. Suits arent the cheapest outfits.

Why does he call is Running on Empty?

Does he not eat outside of these videos?

>>5195016
I think because he reviews fast food/take out which is stuff people often order when they're really hungry and in a hurry? does that make any sense?

>>5194286
Grabbing randomly at Macy's for a suit isn't exactly going to make anyone look professional. It's the kind of thing autists do when they equate suits with professionalism and-

>He said that he always wears suits because he admires the era where men dressed more professionally.

oh. okay.

/r/cringe

http://www.reddit.com/r/TheReportOfTheWeek/

I don't even...

>>5195353
I think he just means it as in eating when you're hungry.

>>5194260
>Will be top CEO or something some day.

lol, no, you don't become a CEO of a large company by being smart with good business sense. You go to private primary/secondary school, go to a private/Ivy League university, join a top-tier fraternity, get an internship with one of your dad's friends, and then wait for a promotion while you spend your time taking clients to business lunches.

>>5193902
Screw him. If he wants to b an interwebs celebrity he needs to stop disabling comments and take criticism liek a man.

>>5193902
>>5194149
>>5194260
>mfw this is actually the prick in the vids self-promoting

>>5195391
lol'd

>>5195404
To be fair people were posting death threats.

Such finesse

>>5195407
Who you calling prick, son?

>>5195424
Don't son me, Rat-Ears!

>>5193902
People like to laugh at him but I simply cannot find it in me to hate him. He puts effort into these reviews, dresses up, uses fancy silverware and glassware, and lives in a nice classy place on top of it.

But holy shit he poors monster into his fine glass ware and eats junk with his fancy suit on. No amount of effort pr genuinity of his series will NOT make the entertaining

>>5195431
*pour

>>5195434
It's like Ghandi going to war with somebody. OH WAIT

Nerfherder needs to take that suit to a tailor. Or have a new one made.

>>5195435
I really want him to start allowing comments again.

>>5193902
>mild wings

post the suicide wings video brah,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mjrt_f1cbx0

>>5195441

>>5193902
>uses a fork
>still touches the goddamn wing

plus boneless, stay 12 pleb

>>5193902
sup TheReportOfTheWeek. why haven't you killed yourself yet?

>>5195473
My mom won't let me.

>>5194260

u mean... ceo10k/day?

RepWeekReviewer, I know you're in this thread.

800 views, and a co/ck/ manages to find this vid? Bullshit.

>>5195407

This. He is quite active in reddit, a certain bodybuilding forum, and 4chan, specifically /fit/.

Would not be too wild of a guess that he is in this thread RIGHT THIS VERY MOMENT

Valentine's Day BLOWOUT

Ahh another great review. Why is this guy all over /ck/?

>>5195538
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_UG9EK_OEI

taco bells new grilled stuffed nacho

>>5195560
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_UG9EK_OEI&feature=youtu.be&t=7s

What the fuck, he has a drivers license? I thought this kid was like 15.

>>5195578
In the thread on /fa/ yesterday he was talking about his college plans and how they weren't far away like two years away. So yeah. If you go back to his first few videos he looks like he's thirteen.

>>5195582
He posted on /fa/? So does he have any fashion sense other than his dads old suits?

You are just jealous because while he is probably going to take out a pretty and submissive white girl to Applebee's this VDay and then fuck her in the restroom after a hearty meal, you will be at home stroking your neckbeards alone.

>>5195585
I don't think they're his dads old suits. What's wrong with wearing your parents hand me downs anyway? Vintage is cool man.

>>5195592
I guess, you have to be pretty dedicated to it though to pull it off.

>>5195596
...Or have Asperger's.

>>5195686
Yes, everything relates to autism. If you are presenting a persona in a deadpan fashion for the sake of entertainment, you are now autistic.

>>5195414

Aw gee...

>>5194111
How does it feel to be an actual retard?

>>5194117
>>5194149
Link to the thread?

His hands bother the fuck out of me.

what does he get out of these videos exactly?

>>5196268
extra curricular credit for his college resume

>>5196268
Gee, what DOES one get when they spam 4chin for views?

He kind of bothers me but I actually respect what he does. I think these reviews are way more important than what some "food critic" thinks about some fancy French restaurant that serves 10 people a day at $300 dollars a table or what have you.

just realised if I slicked my hair back I'd look like a thinner version of him

>plastic fork

>>5196293
Why?

Usually if you eat fast food, quality isn't of most importance to you. So whether lanky mctacky fuck here gives Dominos "hand tossed pizza" a 2 or an 8, if I'm craving shitty cardboard pizza or I'm hungry and and something fast, I'm getting that pizza.

Not trying to be hostile, I just think he's simply entertaining

>>5196297
If I have $300 to blow on a single meal I'm either bad with my money or $300 is nothing to me and it's no big deal if the meal wasn't worth the full $300.

If I have to be careful with $7 then I need to spend it wisely and would want to be sure whatever cheap fast food place I'm going to isn't going to be total garbage or a total rip off, like many of them often are. Would I actually make a purchase based on his reviews? No, I'd rather trust my own opinion, but I could say that about most things. For what food reviews are worth, I think reviews of his sort are more helpful to more people.

>tfw your son has no friends and spends his nights sitting in front of a camera reviewing crappy food in your dead husband's clothes

>>5196308
"s-son what are you reviewing today? oh, McDonalds again. T-that's nice. Wasn't your father meant to have b-been buried in that suit?"

>>5196308
>>5196312

He has a video with his dad.

>>5196308
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZpbIOkNWcHY

>>5196234
It's been close to two days. It's probably gone sorry

>>5196339
>That dorky father
He never really had a chance, poor dude.

I kinda like it, for no apparent reason

I love his voice

>>5196546
I hate how he says "fing" instead of "thing" and "ovver" instead of "other" etc

>>5196558
Ey don't talk crap about him!

>>5196558
>what are accents?

>>5196399
He's not a dork, what are you talking about? He's a total chill dude man.

>>5196574
His New York accent is an accent
that's poor pronunciation

i can schlick to this.
any more of youtubers who are eating during videos, food reviews and stuff?

>>5196593
I think this guy is good.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mrD6RzOc3yc

>>5196593

Oh god
>watch people cook food on YouTube
>they don't fucking eat it

This is making me insane! I get so fucking disappointed when I don't see them eat the food and I don't even fucking know why.

>>5196599
They usually just take a tiny little bite, doesn't it make you really upset? I mean, I WATCHED YOU COOK FOR 10 MINUTES, AT LEAST EAT THE ENTIRE PLATE, DAMN IT.

>>5196598
thanks! :D

>>5196609
>They usually just take a tiny little bite, doesn't it make you really upset? I mean, I WATCHED YOU COOK FOR 10 MINUTES, AT LEAST EAT THE ENTIRE PLATE, DAMN IT.

Yeah! I mean, I really enjoy to watch their cooking and all but...eeeeaaaat it. Take a big ol' bite, I want to see the satisfaction on your face, I want to hear you go "Mmmmmmmhhhh that's some gooooood cookin'" or somthing and just, you know?

abandon thread

Videos of people eating food are like fetish stuff, I saw a thing about an asian lady who ate food on camera for money on here a bit ago.

he's just another 50% youtube whore and 50% hobby faggot. $$$$ and 8====D

>>5196615
Some take a tiny bite, like half a fork maybe, and they still go all like "mmmmm, now THAT'S what I call food!"
almost like fake orgasms in porn.

>>5196593
tits or get the fuck out

>>5196620
yeah, she's from Korea, but her lifestreams are pay-for-view.

>>5196633
can I camwhore on /ck/?

>>5196631

YES
Or when you just KNOW that the food is still far too hot to be enjoyed and they go like it's the best thing they ever had. It just isn't right, man.

Also, watch BBQ Pit Boys
http://youtu.be/MvnTXxpNaMs

They always eat and I want to join in.

This guy microwaves Poptarts...

>>5196648
The crust comes out soft and it takes literally five seconds to heat up
deal w/ it

>>5196648
This kills the poptart

>>5196647
yeah, you can see that he likes them burgers alright.

>>5196637
>can I camwhore on /ck/?

Upload to imgur or something and post a link.

>>5196779
Don't use imgur. It applies lossy compresion to every jpeg.

>>5196904

Yeah, use something like Flacur, they deliver uncompressed .jpgs.

>>5196659
>calling it crust
It's a fucking pastry.

>>5197008
But the whole thing is a pastry, I'm referring to the outer rim crust
It can't be the pastry of the pastry

>>5197008
calling it a pastry seems a little generous

I love you so much, /ck/. You make me smile every single day.

>>5196561
Large Marge sent me

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1tpvdqyeSb1
/ck/ called out

>>5197695
>"zoofile's comment on bodybuilding dot com"
>a /fit/fag representing /ck/

No.

>>5194260
You're like the bitter fatty of failed careers

>>5194286
I think he just wears thrift store ones doesn't he?

>>5197704
>>5197704

I listened to the rest of it. Him getting so mad and repetitive about things that are obviously out of his control just shows how much of a goober he is.

>>5196779
there you fuckin' go.
http://s4.ifotos.pl/img/webcam-to_ehnapxx.jpg

>>5198525

Hah breasts

Hey Report of the Week...

If you read this...

GET OF MY /ck/!!!!

Hey Report of the Week...

If you read this...

GET OFF MY /ck/!!!!

>>5198525

Alright, we're gonna do a review today of some polish breasts.

Okay, so there's the nipple, sure, looks pretty good, decent size, consistency, coloration. And the areola has a perfect circumference, good healthy pink coloration. Breasts seem to be a pretty good size, not too large, not too small. Good Curvature, they are somewhat taught and perky, not pendulous, just like breasts should be.

I'm going to give these breasts a solid 6.7979 repeat. Now, just because they are the only ones I've seen, I still need to deduct points for the space in the middle, and for not being glorious C+'s. Also, no real flavor to speak off, so it lost some points there.

>>5198588
I am laughing my ass off right now. Thanks :D

>>5193902

This is fucking gold

so much autism

>>5193902
If I were this kids age I'd befriend him. Does he really post on 4chan?

>>5198693
see>>5197695

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1tpvdqyeSb1

and feel the RAGE!

>>5198525
those are some fucking weird tits

He's so cute.

>>5198705
sweet jesus almighty I KEKED my goddamn ASS straight into the southern hemisphere. He'd really fit in well here on /ck/. I wish he came here.

>>5198705
>http://vocaroo.com/i/s1tpvdqyeSb1
That's not him you fucking weenies.

>>5198828
>http://vocaroo.com/i/s1tpvdqyeSb1
actually I take that back. It sounded contrived in the beggining. No, that's definitely him

>>5198830
I'm 100% sure thats him. Trust me, I'm autistic.

>>5198705
>>5197695
This kid seriously has issues.

>>5198705
>http://vocaroo.com/i/s1tpvdqyeSb1
Goes to /fit/ post his links on the misc

Oh god I knew everyone on /fit/ were delusional autists.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jsSWpazjqg0

For the last minute or so he just stares straight at the camera silently.

Apparently some people don't understand the concept of overdressed. Even in the most professional of eras people still wore casual clothing when off work, and only if your work deemed it necessary. He seems like one of those guys who tries to hard to appear 'cool and fancy' and will back on it in a few years and cringe at his phase.

>>5198828
>>5198830
>>5198832
It's on his youtube channel.

>>5198910
He's going to snap one day and go on a mass murder spree. I can see it in his eyes.

In his soul.

>>5199000
trips confirms the truth

>>5199016
>trips
Welcome to 4chan.

>>5198525
>http://s4.ifotos.pl/img/webcam-to_ehnapxx.jpg
Yeah... no thanks. Those are some gross tits. Completely asymmetrical: shape, nipples, size, etc. Yeah, tits aren't always perfectly symmetrical, but this is a goddamn travesty.

Why do they look simultaneously saggy and perky?

Revolting. I appreciate OC tits, especially on /ck/, but in your case you should take a hammer and a screwdriver and smash your camera. Then fill the lens with super glue and put electrical tape on it for extra measure.

>>5198910
Damn it, Warhol. You fucking hack.

Hey John(reportoftheweek) if you read this, just ignore people that talk shit. There's always going to be haters and trolls.

>>5199107
>sarah-jones
>haspenus
Beat it groupie!

>>5196561

he looks like the Night of the living dummy from Goosebumps

>not listening to the true OG of this shit, The Food Reviewer

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ncipWAF9Lxg

>>5199436
That intro is amazing

>>5199326
Groupie? IDK what you're talking about.

>>5198833
CRY MOAR

>>5193902
Can we talk about the food and not his fashion?

Boneless wings? Why Boneless? Who orders boneless? What is this product for?

>>5199450
No.

>>5199511
>not liking Chali 2na

>>5199492
Don't you get more meat in a boneless wing?

>>5199522
>not stripping your bones like a fucking pirahna

Drives me crazy when people waste so much on wings. When I finish with a wing, that shit is clean.

>>5199526
but what about cartilage and stuff? How do you eat that?

>>5199529
...With your mouth?

>>5199532
Yeah but why. Why eat the garbage parts.

why not just grind the bones into dust and sprinkle them into your cereal in the morning

>>5199598
>Why eat the garbage parts.

Because they taste good and have a nice texture, that's why.

>>why not just grind the bones into dust and sprinkle them into your cereal in the morning

that's silly, but the bones can be used to make a fucking tasty stock.

>>5196558
Agreed. He needs to take some language coaching if he ever wants to seriously pursue food critiquing as a professional.

>>5196581
Accent, dialect is pronunciation

>>5195434
HAHHAHAHA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NapNFIPFMfc

>mfw friends little sister does this shit.

>>5199526

> mfw

>>5199492
>>5199522

Boneless "wings" aren't wings! They are just glorified chicken nuggets. They are made from ground chicken! How the hell is that a wing?

That's like calling a burger a leg or some shit.

Boneless wings don't haev ANYTHING that regular wings have. The delicious fatty texture because its right next to the bone, the delicious flavor because its right next to the bone, the actual experience of knawing meat off a bone....

or you can just have buffalo covered ground chicken nuggets.

lol does he disable comments now?

>>5199824
I've raged and I've lost

>>5199870
but they're still good and they still have more meat than an actual wing, not matter what they're called

>>5199911
yeah apparently
which makes me sad I missed out

>>5199923
You're not alone. Why the hell would any one do this at fast food places with the most mundane things?
>These french fries... they're very potatoey
>Now let me try this coke. Wow, it tastes like coke. Really fresh, you can tell they care back in the kitchen.

>>5199940

i dont eat wings for meat! i eat wings for wing meat!

if i wanted a big amount of meat i would get a steak.....

anyway, im glad you like chicken nuggets but not everyone does. "they are still good" is like saying "a fat woman still has a vagina'

enjoy hand feeding your 500 pould wife chicken nuggets

MORE MEAT RIGHT?

Any formally trained chef will tell you that the most tender, flavorful tasting meat comes off near the bone.

>>5199947
don't buy boneless wings if you like regular wings better
no need to start frothing at the mouth

>>5199824
there very moistssssssssssssssssss

>>5199945
Food review, the cunt just gets frys and a softee, and that kid, all these fucking faggots around these days wtf??? Not just hurr durr you faggot, but actual fucking puffs.

>>5199981
haha

>>5199947
make your own dark meat chicken nuggers if you like dark meat so much

why is this guy so based /ck/?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bBmj5sEeQpQ&feature=c4-overview&list=UUeR0n8d3ShTn_yrMhpwyE1Q

>there's always people walking around behind the camera
this bothers me so much more than anything else about him
There's just something about making a video like this in front of someone. It gets uploaded to the internet for all to see and it doesn't even matter, but someone watching him make it is just so painful to me.

>>5195480
Are you stupid? He's been well known on 4chan for months now.

>>5201240
Spammed by /fit/ =/= actual popularity

He used to be so peppy and happy in his earlier videos. What happened?

>>5201602
life.

anyone know his "misc" username?

>>5199520
>liking nigger shit

>>5201925
>not liking food
>censors himself to amazing food because what other people think about it
Back to /b/, 15 year old.

>>5201939
Maybe you're just a homo that can't take someone disagreeing with you. Homo's are like that... anything that disagrees with them is a [insert word here]phobe.

That's the faggot word of the decade.

>>5201925
this

>>5199436
>sugar free syrup

with like four fucking servings of french toast sticks

>>5199436
This kid is disgusting

>subscribing now

>>5199436
This video is pure gold anon.

>I am now home schooled

I wonder why?