/ck/ - Food & Cooking

Boil it in some coffee

cut open the bag, then pour and mix the contents with a cup of luke-warm water. mix in slices of butter for that creamy, gourmet taste.

>>5091677
delete system32

Take 3 bags of tea and label them "1", "2", and "4". Have the person who sold you the tea look for the bag labeled "3". Takes a crane to get it out.

You gotta cook the tea first. Put the teabag on a frying pan set to high for at least 10 minutes. Then put the bag in some cold milk.

Order it from Starbucks.

Step 1: find a wok

You must first invent the universe.

Boil water
Slice your throat with a machete
Pour water down throat hole
Slice open teabag with aforementioned machete, drain the herbs into your nose
Hand yourself upside down to let it steep

Boil it in milk, at least 10 minutes. Add pepper to taste.

If it's yellow, let it mellow. If it's brown, flush it down.

>>5091755
I thought that was about pissing

>>5091755
Why would you flush away your tea?

>>5091755

I thought it was about dishwashing

Did you get one of these first?

>>5091677
Discard, and buy Turkish tea.

>>5091871
How does one actually use a samovar, and is it something worth owning?

>>5092192
Fuck the Turks. I ain't using anything Muslim.

Boil water in a kettle.
Poor water into the teapot with tealeaves.
Let it sit a bit.
Enjoy it in porcelain cups.
Add milk if you like.

>>5092658
The "turkish" tea actually comes from russia.
Buy their tea its no different.
Or just get ceylon tea.

>>5092881
I read that as "Cylon tea".

>>5092881
What makes it so much better than other tea?

>>5092875
>add milk

Fuck off Britbong

>>5092889
People recommending Turkish tea on /ck/ is a joke meme.
I don't think they've ever had it.

>>5092891
Better than your 7 spoons of sugar eh burger?

>>5092195
The top teapot thing is filled with a strong concentration of tea, we're talking a good 4-5 teaspoons.
The bottom compartment with the spigot dispenses near boiling water. You fill the cup with a bit of the strong tea to your taste, then you dilute it when the hot water from the spigot. It's common practice in Russia, Turkey, and Iran.

>>5092907
Hey man, a bit of sugar is alright in black tea. However how those fucking southerners do it with their "sweet tea" is inedible it's like drinking syrup.

>>5092195
You put tons of leaves in the teapot part and brew a super strong concentrated tea, This stuff is like liquid caffeine. The bottom holds hot water to dilute your cup back to regular strength.

Old ones use charcoal, or pine cones, to keep it hot, new ones are electric. Unless you drink tea all day like Russians it will probably be too expensive to heat. Samovar is part of the culture and ritual, if you don't care for that a Japanese hot water pot does the same thing cheaper

>>5092950
That just seems excessively complicated. Regular teapots are just fine.

>>5092907
>Somebody doesn't ruin their tea with milk

>STUPID PIGFAT AMERICANS FUCK YOU AND YOUR 7 SPOONS OF SUGAR

Took a bit of a leap there.

>>5092970
>ruin

U wot m8

>>5092970
>ruin

full dingus

>>5092996
>dingus

Alright then Dr. Brule.

>>5091689
>butter in tea
I think I just threw up a little

>>5092963
Samovars are usually meant to serve a large number of people. You'd need a massive teapot to put out the amount of tea a samovar can.

>>5093001

>Teas are good for your health
>Translyvania costs a lot
>stoves can be hot so watch out

>>5093049
Fair, that makes sense.

>>5091733

>You must first invent the universe.

This. If aliens were to land on our planet, the first beverage I would give them is tea of any sort. It's so simple because we humans barely have any manipulation over it. It's simply putting dried out plant matter from Earth into some hot water.

>>5091677
I don't understand why everyone responds to these easy questions with vitriol
1. Heat the water. How? Doesn't matter. Just make sure the water is boiling. (You'll probably be able to see steam coming off it once it's there)
2. Add the teabag to the water.
3. Wait. The longer the wait, the stronger the tea, so when to remove it is up to you.
4. Want milk/cream/sugar/whateverthefuckelse?
Add that now.
5. Stir if you did anything in step 4.
6. Let the tea cool down to taste
Done.

>>5093298
>Just make sure the water is boiling
Whoops! Now you've gone and made the water too hot for most teas.

>The longer the wait, the stronger the tea, so when to remove it is up to you.
Whoops! Now you've gone and extracted too much tannin. Hope you like bitter tea!

>>5093095
I'd give them a bottle of everclear and some coke, get them drunk so as to get information from them!
That way I can learn about their evil invasion plans!

To serve man indeed!

>>5093298
People respond to these questions with vitriol because you're a fucking retard if you don't know how to make teal.

>>5093307
I fucking love tannin. What now bish?

>>5093320

Everyone starts somewhere. Who are you to judge?

>>5094047
I'm sorry but not knowing how to make tea is just sad. Like it's just silly. Like asking "how do I make toast".

The British government did a five thousand word report into making tea from teabags and loose leaves including when to start teaching your children, the temperature the water must be and how long it should steep for, etc.

You'll probably be able to find it on the internet.

>>5094103
From the same faggots who bring that shit into warzones and even tanks.

>>5094064
or being a snarky cunt who should go fornicate themselves with a stick. :3

I sell tea for a living. Ask me anything.

>>5094105
Exactly. And if /ck/ had any sense they'd stop spouting milk/cream in tea may-mays since it's added so it doesn't break their porcelain cups instead of for flavour.

>>5094107
Why?

>>5094107
Do you sell imperial spice and if yes, could you tell me more about it?

>>5094108
Wait, why would the exclusion of milk break porcelain?

>>5094109
To drink tea this fine every morning and make money doing it

>>5094112
Tea is too hot and the cups are too thin. Also without milk it stains them.

>>5094111
I've had an Imperial Spice I sold that I bought from a "Chelsea" company for a few years.
Kinda harsh black tea, cinnamon, citrus, thick cloves and vanilla.I'd compare it to a nuttier rooibos. (And I kinda hate rooibos')

>>5094107
do you sell weed? cause i gots plenty of tea....

>>5094118
Could that be Whittards of Chelsea?

It's where I normally buy from, but they barely describe their teas other than a basic concept that it's a tea flavoured with spices from the British empire.

>>5094119
No, I buy medical. I highly recommend it.

>>5094127
good looking out, man!

>>5094107

Where can I buy?

It better not be from a sketchy back alley website.

Link me to your site.

>>5094427
http://www.teagrotto.co/product-category/loose-leaf-teas/

This is my tea shop, I jun a small cafe as well in salt lake. Tbh I just got this amazing stuff called Meditative mind made from chinese white tea, top quality pearled jasmine and red rose buds that turn white while they seep.
It will be on my site in a few days since I just got it in, but you can buy it from our source here too http://theteaspot.com/meditative-mind-loose-white-tea.html

They sell sample packs of all their shit too, and good deals on bulk. Its who supplies half my shop

>>5091688

This
>also dubs

>>5094460
Huh. I've actually been to your shop. Small world.

Your Tieguanyin tastes like bathwater, by the way.

>>5092895
>I don't think they've ever had it.

Sweet as fuck orange tea and stufff like that served in shot glasses.

It's nice with a meal but a shot probably contains more sugar than an equal ammout of coke.

>>5094105
>From the same faggots who bring that shit into warzones and even tanks.

You mock now, but when there is a lull in the battle it's British tankers who will be able to refresh themselves with a hot cup of tea.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=regl4vTld5E

>>5091733
Mah niggah

>>5095803
That's actually pretty cool.

>mfw when a shaped-charge IED that costs less than 100 USD to make destroys the tank and kills the entire crew operated by a jihadist who basically has less education than any first-world high school-dropout

o_o

>>5094460
I like that homepage Brad.
Tell your mom she's sexy.

>>5095803
Would be perfect if it was iced tea.

>>5094047
>>5094064
pretty sure they actually meant how do they make their own tea.

>>5095803
God damn those hollywood jews.
I've always assumed that song was American, not glorious, proud British.

normal way
>put tea in water
>wait 5m
>take bag out
>drink

health nut way
>put bag in water
>wait 5m
>cut open bag
>pour into tea
>drink

in-between
>put bag in water
>wait 5m
>take bag out
>shove it in your mouth
>suck the tea out of it
>realize you look weird in public
>spit it out
>drink

thrift
>put bag in water
>wait 5m
>take bag out
>cut bag open
>use it to season meat or vegetables
>drink