/ck/ - Food & Cooking

Our smoke alarm is sensitive as fuck. Piece of shit goes off if I bake anything above 400F.

>>5089914
Yeah same. It's even linked to the whole building so fuck that.

>make a huge pot of chili/soup/noodles before work
>get ready
>leave for work
>come home and find your leftovers sitting on the counter and spoiled because you forgot to put them away

liek if u cry every tiem :'(

>make pic related
>do everything in directions
>it ends up being really shitty dry cake with delicious cream cheese frosting

I was really disappointed. Was going to bring it to a party but I just brought a bunch of irish coffee instead.

>>5089937

fuck man

>>5089966
>cake mix
>surprised the cake was crap

>>5089911
>a dash of salt
Do you... do you eat the shells??

>>5089995
Didn't you know? Adding salt to the water makes it boil faster.

>>5089995
lol

>>5089995

6 candles and lots of febreeze and it still smells awful

I really hope this smell isn't permanent, fuck

This is not really a horror story, but easily could have been.
>last weekend
>friend is visiting for the holidays
>decide to spend the night at my house
>at 3 in the morning she wants some mac'n'cheese
>tell her that's fine, stay in my room as she goes down to make it
>she comes up two minutes later
>"your stove smells like gas"
>well yeah, it's a gas stove, is it lit?
>"yes, but it smells really strong"
>go down to check
>just the pilot light is on
>she doesn't know how to use a gas stove
>mfw I realize if I didn't go down to check, my house probably would have caught fire
>mfw I realize that her apartment also has a gas stove

>>5090268
the future is hard

>>5090021

>I've never taken a chemistry class

>>5090348
Not him but I've always done it with hard boiled eggs because it's supposed to make the eggs not crack as often.

>>5089911
>put something on the stove
>pass out drunk
>luckily I disabled all the smoke alarms

Do you see the problem here?

>>5090021
hurrdurrr

>>5090234
wash all your carpets and scrub the walls by the stove. if it was going all night, its probably soaked in a bit so all you are doing is covering the smell up, not getting rid of it.

>at this point as the whole fucking apartment looks like Apocalypse Now

>>5090372
I know I know
To be fair though this is literally the first time I've ever actually passed out while cooking something drunk, but I really shouldn't I suppose.

>>5090382
No carpets but I'll scrub the walls, good idea thanks.

>>5089995
Actually, when you season the water you boil your eggs in, the spices will penetrate the shell and flavor the egg.

This one time when I was about 13 years old, I had just gotten home from school, and my mom told me to start dinner. So I decide to make some Mac and cheese, I didn't know that my dad had spilled some bacon grease in the bottom of the burner and a few minutes after setting the noodles to boil, the whole pot was in flames! Luckily I knew salt put out grease fires, or else I probably could've burnt my house down!

>>5090392
You might have to repaint the walls depending on how bad it is.

oh my god OP
I almost had the exact same dilemma as you
My manchild roommate gets baked sometimes and makes frozen pizza
This one time he forgets about it and starts burning
luckily, the fire alarm went off

glad you took the fire alarm off
Your roommate would have been pissed if he wakes up in the middle of the night!

>>5089911
>burnt, 'sploded, eggs.

Lawd. That smell...must be awful...

>>5090406
I've done the pizza thing before, but only forgot to the point where it was hard and inedible, not fire hazard status. Feels bad knowing I was only 1 step away from full retard.

>>5090406
Well he wasn't supposed to be up at 8:00am either...oddly enough he wasn't very angry just panicked.

>>5089911
>Luckily I disabled all the smoke alarms
enjoy dying alone in a blazing fire, retard

>>5089911
>Luckily I disabled all the smoke alarms
>Luckily

well, if you wouldn't disable them, someone would wake up a lot sooner and stop the disaster

>>5090472
>>5090478
I know I know
I really can't leave it connected though it's too sensitive
And I need a ladder to get to it so I don't want to be turning it on and off every time i cook.

I was maybe 9 years old and my brother was 11 at the time, mom cooked some dumplings filled with plums and told us to heat them in microwave and then melt some butter on the stove in a small metal cup. She said it would take only a couple of seconds to melt it. We were both addicted to Pokémon back then and shit was on the tv at the time. So we put a chunk of butter in the cup, put it on the stove and set the microwave for 15 seconds, so we'd hear it beep all the way in the living room, so we can go back to kitchen, quickly grab the butter and go back to watching the Pokémen. I heard the beep but a battle was going on, so I said to myself "fuck that I'm gonna go turn it off after the battle". I forgot about it, of course, and in like 10 minutes my brother says "fuck, the butter!!!" so we ran to the kitchen and there was this metal cup sitting on our gas stove and a flame maybe 20 inches high fucking blazing out of it. The butter was burning and we panicked as fuck, my brother poured a tablespoon of water and threw it in, it made the flames burst even bigger. Then he covered it with a plate and it stop. We had to throw the metal cup to garbage because it was covered in a thick black goo that just wouldn't wash. Parents were pretty pissed too because the fan thingy above the stove, that sucks the smells out, was burnt too. Don't ask me why didn't we melt the butter in the microwave, because I don't know.

>>5090518
I thought that was going to lead to metal cup in the microwave but that's pretty hilarious too

>>5090495
http://www.ehow.com/how_7843075_adjust-sensitivity-smoke-detector.html

Try this nerd

>>5090558
before you die horrifically in a fire that is

>Been awake all day and night, about to pass out from exhaustion
>But I'm hungry
>Decide to make some toast before I fall asleep
>Toast pops, one slice gets stuck
>Don't want to burn my hand
>Use knife like a complete retard
>ZZZZAPOW!
>Blasted halfway across the kitchen
>Toast was cold by the time I came to my senses

>>5090581
Jeez, at least I'm not the only idiot here

>>5090268
More like blow half the block away.

> I really can't leave it connected though it's too sensitive

Bad idea to fuck with smoke detectors:

If your fire would have been real and not contained to the stove, yer asses would have been dead. No carpet? You mightve gotten a pass.

2. Anyone in your building dies in a fire caused by you = negligent homicide (felony) and a court ordered restitution that you ensure are dirt poor the rest of your life, buts that's gonna be your life anyways with a felony record.

3. Killing people even if by accident feels bad man.

4. You wasted two perfectly good eggs.

> Protip: go buy some of the battery powered smoke detectors and stick them on the wall next to the old one. They cost $12, but if you are too poor the fire dept will give you some free. Gotta think of them too, they don't wanna have to climb 3 lights of stairs in the dark, crawling and groping along through each room to find your dumbasses just so mama can have an open casket funeral.

Also, latex wall paint is a barrier coating, it will seal in the stink. Strong ammonia and water solution, rinsed very well clean the floors. Man you got lucky you don't have carpet.

>>5090611
>>5090581

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Pt95JqXmxY
Skip to about 0:45 if you're impatient.

>>5090643
Hey that's not true

It was 4 eggs

Where's that one picture? You know, the one with the condensed milk? OPs post reminded me of it.

>>5089911
>drunk

Here's your problem op. Sober up and join the master race.

>>5090755

>12
>Try to caramelise sugar for the first time
>pour some in to a pan on high heat
>go on msn for 5 minutes
>lose track of time
>come back to pan
>pan is now a stinking black mess
>try to carry it to the sink, drop some on my toe, almost burn a hole through it
>being a dumb ass I immediately put cold water on to the pan
>smoke everywhere
>whole house stinks like shit
>panic and throw pan in neighbours garden

Fucking sugar.

>>5090372

I haven't laughed this hard since princess Diana died

>work in a caseys gas station w/pizza and donut kitchen

>one night decide to try to make stuffed crust

>Put dough in pan as usual. Then I take like 20 handfulls of cheese and put it around the outer edge of the pan. I then grab some more pizza dough and just cover the cheese with it.

>Put it in the conveyer belt

>pizza comes out, edge is huge as fuck, looks like a large round sub sandwich.

>jaw gets worn out trying to get through the end of one slice

>>5090977
string cheese that's all it is

>>5091039
yeah years later saw a youtube video on that. felt stupid

>>5089992
http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/t0ynr/throwaway_time_whats_your_secret_that_could/c4ixtgi

Just one more buuump

>>5090357
A touch of vinegar in the water also makes the shell easier to peel while keeping the albumin from leaking out if the egg cracks.