/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>>/x/

Mix the baking soda with the maple syrup

>>4899506
Steve Jobs pls go

>>4899506
>its for cancer

wut.

>>4899506
OP ask your doctor about vitamin b17 and apricot seeds.

ASK YOUR DOCTOR BEFORE DOING ANYTHING.

Smear the syrup all over your skin. You need a really good coating for this to work, and it's best done completely naked.

Once you're covered in syrup (and you are using real canadian maple syrup aren't you?) have friends and family throw the baking soda on you from a foot or two away (around 1/3 to 1/2 meter I guess). Once you are white from the baking soda, you must then let it dry on you. This can be sped up by using blow dryers on a low heat. Once you've been encased in a hard maple syrup and baking soda crust, you need to rest for a few hours while not moving.

After about 4-5 hours of lying still, encrusted in this cancer curing mixture, you can break out of it. It's super cool to be stood up and hulk flex your way out of it.

You will be cured of cancer forever after doing this.

>>4899510
It's based on a non-predominant theory of cancer. Mainstream medicine hypothesizes that cancer is typically caused by genetic mutations that lead to uncontrolled cellular reproduction. Maple-syrup-baking-sodaists hypothesize that cancer cells are typically caused by a yeast fungus in the candida genus, present in most peoples' digestive tract. The cancer cells consume lots of glucose, so the syrup is attracted to them, and the baking soda is dragged into the cells at the same time, penetrating and disintegrating tumors so quickly that the fungus can't adapt.

Unfortunately, most practitioners say it won't do anything by itself, but only in conjunction with a costly additional treatment protocol which none will divulge.

The general syrup & soda part of the treatment is to mix 3 parts syrup to 1 part soda and heat them up to about 120°F (or max temp before it burns) in a pyrex, stainless steel, or copper vessel, stir for 5-10 minutes until the mixture binds together, then cool. Eat 4 teaspoons a day, each teaspoon spread by at least 20 minutes from the others. If it tastes like shit, you burned it. You can't eat meat, white flour, or any other sugar, to keep the cancer cells hungry for more syrup & soda.

>>4899506
assuming your not a troll, what the fuck are you talking about?!

>>4900403

Make sure to film it and give us the link.

We need video proof of Anon's claim here.

>>4900416

Cancer is an autoimmune disease caused by oxidative stress and chronic inflammation. The solution is a plant-based diet, not norweigian folk magic

>>4900614
>>plant based diet
>>durrr
yes feed sugar to fucking cancer, great idea. god damn.

>>4900593
>assuming your not a troll, what the fuck are you talking about?!
Not OP, but my explanation in >4900416 was genuine. As with other counter-scientific theories, it's hard to tell the difference between that and trolling, but that's what a lot of people believe and are betting their lives on.

>>4900622

You realize plants are more than sugar, right? They have specific phytochemicals in them that fight cancer.

>>4899506
Did you know pancakes cure AIDS OP.
If you eat these mixed every meals you'll live forever

>>4900626
Is cannabis on that list?

>>4900623
ill look into this tomorrow, but for now I'm assuming you're trolling to.

>>4900649

Probably, though I don't know if setting it on fire and sucking the smoke in is as effective as eating it

> Maple syrup
> Cancer remedy
How about some good old chemotherapy ?

>>4900626

oh FFS the sammich vegan is here too..?

listen here can you just list the threads youre frequenting so we can all avoid your tomfoolery?

>>4900862
Nah brah, Steve Jobs, aka the smartest human being to ever live fought aids for years by eating tangerines, herbs and all natural are the way to go to get rid of dem free radicals dawg.

>>4900948
And where is he now?

>>4900962
thatsthejoke.jpg.exe.lol

>>4900862
why don't you ask someone who actually had chemotherapy and see if they tell you it was a good experience?

i heard that it is awful.

>>4900651
>ill look into this tomorrow, but for now I'm assuming you're trolling to.
Sure, just google "maple syrup baking soda" or "kelmun protocol."
http://www.cancertutor.com/Cancer02/Kelmun.html

>>4900948
>smartest human being to ever live
I did everything but openly celebrate when that cunt died, fuck him.

>>4901002

Do you know what's worse than chemo.

Dying of cancer.

But by all means people should do whatever they like. If someone is stupid enough to think they can cure cancer through rejecting the proven treatment and embracing a combination of mixing some baking ingredients and hot yoga then they deserve what's coming to them.

>>4900948
>being educated stupid cubeless american

The smartest human is Gene Ray. Stop practicing evil ONEness.

>>4900416
>hypothesizes

Yeah, it's a bit beyond a hypothesis, hippie.

>>4901250
>If someone is stupid enough to think they can cure cancer through rejecting the proven treatment and embracing a combination of mixing some baking ingredients and hot yoga then they deserve what's coming to them.
Most people can't afford $10k/month for chemo. These other treatments are still bullshit, but it's not like everyone using them is like "ehhh, I think I'll pass on proven patented medication."

>>4901300
>10k a month for chemo

Jesus Christ, to think that some people prefer the american health care system to the UK one. Fucking ridiculous.

>>4901307

Muh death panels, and socialism.

>>4901315
If people are kept alive long enough, then they will be able to contribute more to the economy than if they die of cancer, you fucktard.

>>4901321
The funny thing is there are bongo-land residents who think this aswell, they think without the NHS their £9 a month 'private health care' with BUPA/Duradiamond will cover them for cancer
So people really are cancer and deserve cancer

>>4901321
The people who contribute to the economy have jobs and insurance.

The people who don't have jobs and insurance deserve to die from any disease they get, because they are lazy welfare leeches. They had a choice, and they chose this life.

Don't be mad, I'm just telling it how it is. Something librul college boys need to learn how to do.

>>4901336
So what you're saying is that anyone who doesn't earn at least 120 thousand dollars a year is lazy? Kill yourself.

>>4901336

Not everyone who doesn't have a job or insurance is a lazy welfare leech, I honestly hope you're fucking retarded if you legitimately believe that.

>>4901336
Your picture correctly defined that entire post.

>>4901336
There are alot of people with jobs and insurance who cannot afford 10 thousand dollars a month for chemo you fucking idiot. These people would've also contributed far more to the economy if they had survived. You're silly aren't you.

>>4901338
>>4901339
>>4901340
>>4901344

Think you guys missed something here....

>>4901346
Oh shit, I just noticed the filename. For fuck's sake, I feel like an idiot now.

>>4901351
No worries brah, just keep up the cook

>>4901255
Oh shut the fuck up, he was helping OP.

>>4900416
>"yeast is the source of every disease ever theory"
>>>/x/
>>>/pol/
I knew a man like you once. He tried to make a perpetual motion machine and then boasted that it was 90% efficient.

>>4899506
Try, "Essiac tea". Google it.

>>4902073
>He tried to make a perpetual motion machine
This is my dad

He's 5 years away from doing it. Just like he was 5 years ago

>>4900416
>that cancer cells are typically caused by a yeast fungus in the candida genus, present in most peoples' digestive tract.
I bought a terrible book called, "The Fungus Link" because it went on and on about how Candida albicans was the cause of every ailment known to man.

It was incredibly vague and referred to fungi as plants. Good stuff.

>>4900614
>Cancer is an autoimmune disease caused by oxidative stress and chronic inflammation.
You have a very simplified understanding of what cancer is.

>this whole sad goddamn thread

>/ck/ can you help me come up with a maple syrup to cure cancer?

What are we now, God?

>>4899506

Cancer is a DNA mutation.

There are large molecules in the body that crawl along the DNA strands, or segments of it, and replicate it. DNA is a bit like a skeletal structure, and sometimes pieces are inverted, missing, broken, etc.

When bad DNA is replicated, the result is unpredictable. Sometimes it causes cancers, other times other diseases, sometimes nothing at all.

If you want to live cancer-free, I could encase you in zinc and feed you a special diet. You can never leave your zinc armor, though.

>>4902807
Everyone develops SOME CANCER CELLS, the question is why certain people get massive congregations of them, and how to save those people.

Hydration, avoidance of toxins and poisons, exercise, intake of proper nutrition, and a better state of mind (stress effects health rather directly) are partial answers.

>>4901250
>Do you know what's worse than chemo.
>Dying of cancer.
How about dying of pneumonia or opportunistic infections because the chemo wiped out your immune system?

How about being given chemo even though the chance of remission for some cancers is negligible, but people have to make money and "doing nothing" and dying of cancer over an infection is somehow unacceptable?

>>4902827
How about being misdiagnosed with cancer and getting it from chemo? How about developing secondary cancer from the chemo?

Chemo is such a hilariously fucked treatment sometimes.

And my grandmother died of pneumonia on chemo and radiation. Smoker, drank a twelve pack of soda a day, in addition to other bad health habits. Combined with being exposed to dangerously high doses of chemo and radiation, it was a death sentence to begin with. If the doctors ever gave a fuck they would have told her to put down Marlboros and Pepsi. Instead they just pumped her full of medication known to further weaken the body.

Acid causes cancer.

You non-milk drinking, jalapeno-eating, coke drinkers are the most likely targets.

>>4902837
Chemo can give people more (hopefully enjoyable) years or even remission, but with some cancer types or late stages there is basically no point.

But people do what their doctor says and the doctor never wants to say, "there is nothing we can do", even when that is the best option.

>>4902841
>You non-milk drinking
Milk is slightly acidic. But tell us more, wise one.

>>4902843

it's a base you knob-sucking mindsloth

>>4902838
That's why I said sometimes.

There's basically no nutritional qualification required to be a doctor or even a specialist. It's so goddamned dumb. As a result, doctors will not recommend a lifestyle change to anyone, but will dole out pills and injections with almost zero testing that slipped right past the FDA.

And don't even get me started on the pharmaceutical industry. There has to be a god just so there can be a hell bad enough for these people.

>>4902867
>As a result, doctors will not recommend a lifestyle change to anyone
All my WUT!? Maybe if you're at your ideal weight, eat plenty of vegetables, have normal BP and cholesterol, and exercise five times a week...for the rest of us, believe me, they got lifestyle change advice COVERED.

>>4902896
>All my WUT!? Maybe if you're at your ideal weight, eat plenty of vegetables, have normal BP and cholesterol, and exercise five times a week...for the rest of us, believe me, they got lifestyle change advice COVERED.
I'll just take that as a compliment.

Still, most doctors I've dealt with have been able to give little more than common knowledge, and have not offered life advice to my family and several of them are very ill. Then again, they live along the bible belt...

Dear lord is it good to escape.

>>4902859
prove it

>>4902938
what is there to prove
it's water, oil, and protein
none of those are acidic

>>4903174
>What is lactic acid

>>4902938
milk is very slightly acidic you dickass

>>4902782
It's not "Simplified" It's fucking wrong. We know goddamn well exactly what cancer is, and it isn't that.

>>4903189
top kek

>>4903174
"It's easy to get confused about whether milk is an acid or a base, especially when you consider that some people drink milk or take calcium to treat an acidic stomach. Actually, milk has a pH of around 6.5 to 6.7, which makes it slightly acidic. Some sources cite milk as being neutral since it is so close to the neutral pH of 7.0. Milk contains lactic acid, which is a hydrogen donor or proton donor. If you test milk with litmus paper, you'll get a neutral to slightly acidic response." -Anne Marie Helmenstine, Ph.D., http://chemistry.about.com/od/foodchemistryfaqs/a/Is-Milk-An-Acid-Or-A-Base.htm

>>4903228
>We know goddamn well exactly what cancer is, and it isn't that.
You think cancer is one thing?

You think all cancers are the same?

You think we have elucidated what cancer is?

You don't think oxidated stress or chronic inflammation cause cancer?

lol tell us more.

>mix syrup and baking soda
>put onto a table spoon
>lighter under spoon
>throw in cotton ball
>grab needle
>16cc
>Inject 8 into both arms
Cured my cancer instantly

>>4900416
Does OP actually believe this nonsense?? Srsly, that's pretty tarded.

>>4904936
It's just a wee bit of a stretch from "certain stresses can result in cancer" to "maple syrup plus baking soda will cure your cancer". Especially since baking soda isn't going to do shit as far as killing cancer cells.

Lrn2digest, gersonfag.

>>4905215
>It's just a wee bit of a stretch from "certain stresses can result in cancer" to "maple syrup plus baking soda will cure your cancer".
That wasn't what anon was talking about though.

>>4904936
Different anon. Oxidative stress or chronic inflamation *can* cause cancer, along with a zillion other things. But sperglord in >>4900614 said
>Cancer is an autoimmune disease caused by oxidative stress and chronic inflammation. The solution is a plant-based diet
Cancer is not one thing, it's not limited to two causes, and it's not cured/avoided by a plant-based diet. Omg why am I even arguing with such retardation??

>>4905655
>The solution is a plant-based diet
You should've just wrote it off as vegan nonsense like the rest of us

There was this website I found a long time ago that had alternative cures for various things, I bookmarked it in case I developed something funky because it seemed informative, but that was in an old Windows install, and it's hidden somewhere in the old harddrive backup with the Firefox obscure bookmark file

In regards to cancer, I remember the treatment mentioned was alkaline therapy, where the name of the game was to alter the body's pH level

I don't know if it works but a quick google shows that my hipster website noone has heard of is not the only source that talks about it

Maple syrup is for pancakes.
Boysenberry syrup is for cancer.
Lrn2science, nitwits

>>4905802
>I don't know if it works but a quick google shows that my hipster website noone has heard of is not the only source that talks about it
Same with maple syrup baking soda therapy, or any other therapy someone dreams up: tea therapy, honey therapy, alkaline therapy, photon therapy, pony therapy. I wouldn't bet my life based on the number of google hits for a given treatment.

>>4899506
what is a good thing to put maple syrup on other than pancakes or waffles, i just remembered I have 2 bottles of it and now i want to eat it.

>>4905802
>There was this website I found a long time ago that had alternative cures for various things, I bookmarked it in case I developed something funky because it seemed informative, but that was in an old Windows install, and it's hidden somewhere in the old harddrive backup with the Firefox obscure bookmark file
lol awesome stream-of-consciousness story bro

>>4901250
>>4901300
>>4901307
>>4901315
>>4901321
>>4901328
>>4901336

This doesn't have anything to do with America because if OP was American he would, presumably, be able to speak fucking English and not be apologizing for his "band English".

Get the fuck out America thread shitposters.

>>4906599
th-thanks subscribe to my short story blog pls