/ck/ - Food & Cooking

i'm 19, and what are you offering me exactly?

ricin

Various beers then vodka.

Sazerac, don't pour out the absinthe

>>4897359
you can go fuck, murder someone is a declared war, but sorry, you cannot have alcohol

An Aviation please

>>4897364
>Sazerac
I had to look that shit up. New Orleans, 1800s. very original. well played. extra absinthe to you sir.

Three fingers bottom-shelf scotch on the rocks with a slice of lemon, thanks m8.

>>4897372
>Aviation
here you go sir

>>4897374

> not knowing the oldest and most well-known cocktail

>>4897364
this is a God Tier beverage anon
nice

sierra nevada torpedo

A shirley temple for me sir

I'll take an old fashioned, soda on the side.

>>4897379

Here you are sir. Don't forget to tip; I remember you from last weekend...

>>4897375
for the gentleman.
sorry sir, I could not procure a lemon. we are out.

A white russian

Drinking homemade wine and getting ducked up.

>>4897372
mah nigger

>>4897392
mfw my first white russian was in russia.

>>4897389

Faggot! I'm out, and I'm taking the scotch with me! *mumbles incoherently about what 'murka has come to*

>>4897392
>white russian
very good sir
here you are...

>>4897403
oh shit, SOORY. your drink...

>>4897402
When you take scotch with ice you lose any right to complain about anything

>>4897403

loool

>>4897409

I take my scotch 1) bottom-shelf, 2) with lemon, 3) with ice, and however else I goddamned please. Now go make it again, you pretentious twat! This is a pool hall, not the penthouse lounge at the Ritz!

>>4897407
Is that what a white russian is?

Could I get a Rusty Nail please? Make it scotchy.

i'm going to have a corona and sit alone in my basement and maybe watch something on /tv/

>>4897425
not a problem
have a great night sir
here ya go

>>4897425

Could I get a can of Bud? Cold, please.

>>4897433
>not bud light

how very pleb

>>4897430
Thanks. Keep the change.

>>4897433
>bud
>can

fuck out of my establishment.
SIR.

>>4897439
wow on a fifty?
very gracious of you. thank you sir.
the misses and I will catch a movie this weekend thanks to you.

>>4897438
bud heavy > bud light

>>4897438
What's the deal with this? Why is Bud light so much more popular, even among fat old dudes that probably don't give a shit about the health aspects?

>>4897459

Sure it doesn't taste as good as Bud Heavy, but a dozen Lights go down a lot quicker and easier.

>>4897351
I want you to make me a mixer with alcohol powerful enough to knock out horses and to clean grease stains off the pavement.

OH, and make it on the rocks, a double if you please?

>>4897459
Because shithouse lightweight fatsos can't stomach anything stronger than lightly piss flavored water.

>>4897450
Don't mention it. Have a good night.

>>4897459
Rednecks and frat boys have convinced themselves that the most important factor in choosing a beer is how many cans you can chug in the shortest amount of time, regardless of actual strength or quality.

>>4897359
I guess you're not Canadian.

>>4897351
What do you recommend along the lines of a porter?

>>4897464
>>4897462
Is it just me, or does weak beer make anyone else actually sick to their stomach? Actually it's with any weak beverage that makes me feel ill, but particularly I can't drink sort of watery beer.

>>4897464

Speaking as a shithouse lightweight fatso, I very much enjoy a good, dank, dark porter like the Taddy, or an Oktober Lager from the local brewery, but when I'm buying cheap bear, I'm planning on drinking all of it. A dozen Lights go down easy since they taste like water, and they stay down, and leave you less full. I'd rather have 12 shots of Stoli, but if I'm drinking bear, and it's cheap bear, I'd rather have a light.

>>4897474
I can't drink skunk beer regardless of strength, but yeah watery beer is the worst.

>>4897476
>Taddy
I want to call you mah nigga, but then the rest of your post happened.

>>4897479

'tchoo got against getting drunk on the cheap?

>>4897482
taste

>>4897483

irrelevant when one is drinking to forget

>>4897479
If I'm gonna be doing that I'll do it fast and hard with something stronger and with neutral taste, as opposed to slow and with horrible flavor

>>4897486
Just funnel those bad memories into a hobby, like fursuiting and assault.

>>4897508
I LIEK CHOCOLATE MILK BAR MAN!

I'll have a water please. Alcohol is for insecure plebs.

>woo I need to feel funny for a while because my life is boring
>woohoo

>>4897534

Just some Courvoisier, please.

On the rocks.

>>4897550
>Courvoisier
and a cognac for the lady or effeminate looking man... here you are...

Gin, straight.

Or, G&T.

Also, a gallon of beer for my friend.

>>4897567
>Gin
will this please the gentleman?

also, your friend is best suited for the pub down the aisle. he doesn't fit the dress code here.

>>4897351
this bar tender looks so gayyy, is it normal to wear a ton of makeup?

>>4897368
only in some countrys.... 18 is legal in most retard.

Lets all just presume everyones from the same place and we all have same laws

I've been drinking ginger spirits with gin and ice.
Buretty fuggin gud...

>>4897586
sir, I assure you I am not wearing makeup.
I'm just flush from the brisk service, its a lot of work back here. My complexion is genetic, please be kind.

Barkeep? You seem to have overlooked my request. An old fashioned, if you pleased?

>>4897595
>old fashioned
my mistake, right away...
here you are sir. on the house.

>>4897595
>attempting to solicit a handjob from a bartender

3 months in the cubes, creep.

>>4897598
Thank you kindly.

i'll take a drink

server's choice.

>>4897392
Did you ever get your rug back?

I brought my own rusty nail.. That's cool, right?

>this thread

A round of green russians for everyone, on me!

>>4897366
>not drinking the vodka first

You do it wrong. Get the initial buzz/drunk quick from the hard liquor, then sip beer the rest of the night to maintain the buzz without getting sloppy.

>>4897474
It's pretty repulsive for me. If it gets even the least bit warm, I feel like I'm going to heave. It basically needs to be ice cold to be drinkable. Even then it still tastes bad.

Thankfully I'm in PA so we buy Yuengling Light Lager for our cheap shit. (Or Lionshead)

>>4897615
>that one guy who always gets tipsy on beer when he comes over then decides he wants to do shots and pukes it all up

>>4897615
Normally I'd agree with you, but I'm aiming to be sloppy drunk by the end of the night. Going out with friends for dinner then to the Cannery Row Brewing Co.

The vodka is in my freezer for when I get home. Will probably play BF3 and drink until I am dying too much then call it a night.

>>4897617
I just tried Yuengling Lager (regular not light) the other night and even that was just weak as shit to me, couldn't finish it. I don't get lagers in general, I don't enjoy them.

Hello Barkeep, I'd like a nice glass of bourbon when you get the chance.

>>4897609
I'm loving this thread.

>>4897611
>green russians
very generous sir, 13 green russians from the well dressed gentlemen at the end of the bar.
that will be $109 sir, do you have a credit card tab?

>>4897351

I had too much cheap happy hour wine earlier and I'm feeling pretty terrible. I think I'm going to call it a night after this. If you could just give me a scotch and soda that would be great. Grouse if you've got it, surprise me if you don't.

Cozy place you've got here. This is my first time at a bar, you know. Turned 21 earlier this week.
I suppose I don't know what I want, so I'll trust your judgement.

>>4897626
I'll be paying in cash, and please keep the change.

>>4897629
congratulations! how about a nice long island iced tea? you'll love it. coming right up.

>>4897631
thank you sir

>>4897624
It's bearable to me. It's tough to find a good lager. I can't remember any off the top of my head but I've had a few good ones from microbreweries. I've also learned to appreciate Sam Adam's Boston Lager recently. I used to really dislike it.

>>4897625
It's on the house.

>>4897627
scotch and soda for the sadkitty.
hope this cheers you up buddy. take care.

>>4897636
SABL isn't my favorite but it is very drinkable.

>>4897637
i'm going on break.
you can take over right now m8?
alrighty then. gonna get dinner and shag the misses. be back in a few hours. keep 'em happy, ok?

>>4897642

Thanks man. Have a good weekend.

give me alcohol drink to drink

>>4897636
pic related is my go-to for everyday drinking, I don't get why everyone seems to think only lagers are suitable for extended drinking sessions. Am I just weird?

>>4897647
You got it boss.

>>4897651
Oh shit..mah picture.

>>4897649
>alcohol drink to drink
first result on google

>>4897657
wow many alcohol drink to drink ok wow thank you please

>>4897651
don't fuck up, kid
and don't forget Coughlin's Law.

WHER IS MY CHOCOLATE MILK!!!!!?!?

>>4897351
You can tell the people that start these threads have never been to an actual bar. Bartenders barely speak to you. You may get as little as a nod or as much as "wot u want?"

>>4897665

you're just too autistic to initiate eye contact, which then leads to small talk. Not our fault you lack basic social skills.

>>4897665
depends on the bar, and how busy it is. Probably a culture/location thing playing in as well.

>>4897665
Obviously a bartender wouldn't do this "What is your poison sir" 19th century shit, but bartenders who don't smile at new customers or at least acknowledge them in a positive, comfortable way are bad at their job

Most bartenders are bad at their job, but there you are

>>4897669
Yea, this is the case. I've been to bars in many different countries and have had the same experiences all over. If it's slow I've had conversations with bar tenders and even gotten a few free drinks before. Other times it's so busy, you just get served and then they're off helping someone else.

>>4897669
this

>>4897671
a bartender can say whatever the fuck he wants, and they do, if they are good. they build rapport fast to get great tips.

>>4897637
You're the man. Thank you.

>>4897664
who brought their kid in here?

Read the sign: untended children will be given an espresso and a free kitten.

>>4897646
Not at all! I love Newcastle. I haven't had it in a while but I'd buy it when it was on sale as my weekend beer in college.

Coke cherry zero and coconut rum.
Tastes like absolute shit, my stomach is killing me, and I have no food in the apartment. I'm in for a shitty night.

Diet Coke.

.. I'm driving tonight.

Do y'all have any Basil Hayden's? If so, I'll take 2 fingers of that, straight. If not, I'll have a very dirty martini with a vodka:vermouth ratio of 3:2.

Bourbon, Elijah Craig 12yo neat.

Hm...currently have wine... how about a nice mojito?

Labatt's blue with some Jim beam

>>4897707
flannagan! you sonofabitch.
address who you are taking too!
i just had to run back to get my billfold.
I said don't fuck up in my ball, or i'll throw you through the wall. ok, just kidding. cherio.

>>4897722

say that shit to me irl bro ill fuken wreck u bro you don't know me bro.

>>4897724
>hasn't seen the movie
>total buzz kill
>oh well ~cocktail~

>>4897351
YES. I'll require a 1.75 of Old Crow bourbon and a gallon of spring water. How are YOU. Don't side eye me you bald fucking prick, your tip is on the FUCKING LINE. Lay off the sweetness right now cocksucker, and silently do the worthless job that is required of you. Don't you dare touch the rim of my glass with your filthy COCKJERKING HANDS. DO NOT TALK TO ME. AND YOU BETTER MAKE FUCKING EYE CONTACT WHEN YOU SPEAK TO ME, YOU SHRIVELED PRICK OF SHIT.

I'll let YOU know.....when I"VE HAD ENOUGH TO FUCKING DRINK.

>>4897779
It saddens me that the local places only carry old crow and not old crow reserve. The extra 3 dollars made that handle a real bourbon.

It's not good. But 8% is oj.

>>4897785
Yea. Old Crow regular is pretty much the best you can do for the price though. IMO better tasting than Jack or Jim, which cost much more. Reserve is very nice but sort of hard to find.

>>4897351
Gin and Tonic. Use good gin please.

>>4897788
Ok*

It's like a four with less booze and no caffeine.

What are you trying to lower my life span? Ill have some cranberry juice or milk please.

>>4897807
Isn't cranberry juice for women on their periods?

>>4897813
Nah, they use it when they have UTIs.

>>4897816
Well that too, but they drink it when they're on their periods cause it's a natural diuretic, helps with bloating yeah?

>>4897813
I love cranberry juice though. Its very healthy, yummy and sweet. Did you know that cranberry juice cleans out your digestive system?

>>4897531
Bravo.

>>4897825
Yes.
>>4897807
Patricians enjoy the finest of libations. You're strange.

>>4897581
Ah yes, perfect.

Tallisker and coke please

Some ice water, please.

Guava juice and some Kirks lemonade soda mixed together.

3 B52s
Don't forget to light them.