/ck/ - Food & Cooking

I lol'd, but why didn't you use your oven for a few weeks?

>>4757443
Didn't bake anything.
Just got about to bake some cookies though.

>>4757438

How'd you leave a pan?
How'd flies get into the oven?

I guess we just run our kitchens differently. I personally wouldn't want scorched fly shit in my oven. Still pretty lulzy tho.

>>4757438
>smell something rotten
>open toaster oven
>6 fish sticks rotting on the rack
>barely remember waking up, a few days ago, at 2am with a hunger craving then going back to bed
>sleep cooking

Evidently, I didn't even turn the oven on. lol

>>4757469

I hate that shit. Someone always unplugs the toaster because fire hazard and bad for environment, and I always forget to plug it back in. I just put that shit in and put the timer on. It ticks and everything...

>>4757495
I've done that before. I hear the timer ring and get up and realize it isn't even plugged in. It's torture.

>>4757438
I only use a toaster oven because our landlord refuses to replace oven. Invest.

>>4757461
>How'd flies get into the oven?

Fuck if I know.
Some open older model I guess- I didn't choose it, it came with the place.
On a budget in the mean time.

>>4757461
>How'd you leave a pan?
Oh I wish I knew.

>>4757438
OP i tried the same thing with maggots in the microwave... i doused them with bleach, then zapped them, and the fuckers still didnt die...

>>4757524
pics or it didn't happen, also, how did it taste?

>>4757524
Douse them in rubbing alcohol and then light their squirmy asses on fire.

>>4757529
this was at my old apartment... i dont even have that old microwave anymore. i didnt eat them, then thoroughly cleaned all the dead carcasses out x.x

>>4757532
damn if i had thought of that i would have tried that!!! i remember killing spiders that way...

>>4757532
but then you can hear them scream

>second hand discovery
this is not mine, one of my old chums pulled this stunt

>live in old rental house house
>preheat gas range to 450
>forget about it and leave for a week long vacation to see parents back home
>come home
>whyisitsofuckinghotinhere
it got so hot in his kitchen the windows were stuck shut

>>4757545
Good.

>living with my dad
>aunt comes to visit
>she makes delicious apricot bar
>my uncle and I eat the whole thing
>she leaves
>forgot she had made two bars, one left in oven
>we never knew
>next week
>turn on oven
>10 minutes later...
>what is burning?
>look in oven
>arpicot bar is burnt to shit
>had to throw the whole thing out
>house smelled like burnt apricots
>aunt calls to tell us she forgot she left a bar in the oven

>buy a sack of potatoes
>forget about them
>look in corner of kitchen, melting potatoes with maggots crawling through them
>hold breath, dump them in a garbage bag, walk outside, then hammer throw them into neighbor's yard

>>4757545
But bugs don's scream when they die.

That's why it's not wrong to kill them.

>>4757628
They squirm around a lot and I feel bad when I watch.

>>4757555
Holy fuck his utility bills must have been thousands of dollars. Imagine if his ad was also competing with the oven for a week straight. I also don't believe you.

>>4757638
*AC

>>4757629
They squirm around a lot even when they're not on fire.

I have a friend who had to get his skull drilled out when he was a kid because.... I actually don't know why. ANYWAY, because of this he lost his sense of smell completely. About 16 years ago when we were both still in high school I got into his car and right away jumped out because of the horrible odor. The place looked like a trash dump in the back but he swore it was all paper. Upon cleaning the car we found a still wrapped McDonald's hamburger.

"Oh my," he says, "I haven't bought any fast food since before Christmas." It was late in the fall. That thing had be under his seat for almost a year.

In college:
My roommate and I are getting ready to both leave the apartment for a month. He is going to visit his family and I was going on a cross country road trip. We both make sure to clean out the fridge (I thought).

I return a day before him to discover the entire apartment has a mild 'bad' odor. After looking and looking for it I open the fridge.

OH FUCK. It's coming from in there but I see nothing. Looking closer I see three tiny fuzzy white balls in the vegetable cooler.

That's the cause. I can't even describe them but they had spread their white powder to the entire inside of the fridge. I removed the mystery balls and bleached the entire thing several times. It took 24 hours before the place didn't stink anymore.

When my roommate came home a day and a half later I told him about them. Apparently right before he left he found some oranges he had forgotten about in his room and placed them in the fridge. He said they were about to go bad and he thought they would keep in the fridge.

I honestly don't know how large oranges turn into tiny little white spore balls in only a month refrigerated, but I blame the devil.

>Living in dorm at college
>leave an empty pizza box on the floor over the weekend
>come back to dorm on Monday, floor is covered with ants
>Grab can of Lysol and spray all over ants
>I am become Death, destroyer of worlds

>came from superstitious family
>smell faint odor one day from a corner with a pile of Yellow Pages and a plastic bag which has been there for months untouched
>everyday it gets stronger
>think its a ghost or some shit causing the smell
>well over a week after, decide to face my fear and walk to the corner
>take a nice whiff, almost threw up
>saw egg carton
>belongs to roommate

I was pissed at him because I didn't dare to leave anything in the kitchen afraid that they will absorb the smell.

>>4757628
I used to take pleasure in killing house flies when I was a kid. I came up with new ways to hunt them. Especially when they would get caught in a curtain. My mom made me stop because their blood was staining them.

>>4757928
>leave an empty pizza box on the floor over the weekend

pig disgusting

>>4757936
you should be thanking him for teaching you the life lession of how silly supersticions are. just stick to being afraid of monsters in the dark anon.

>>4757524
>>4757532
>>4757542
>>4757545

>be 17
>parents on vacation
>hungover, have some friends over
>friends are hungry, scavenge the freezer for food
>friend finds cheese soufflé, oven ready
>too sick to assist him prepare it
>ten minutes later, this unholy smell enters the backyard along with thick grey smoke
>mfw he put it in the microwave for 12 fucking minutes
>mfw it was as black as pitch, and the plate burst in two as soon as he set it down on the cold counter
>mfw no face

The smell of burnt souffle hasn't left that kitchen since

>>4757638
>Imagine if his AC was also competing with the oven for a week straight.

That's a battle I'd pay good money to watch. Maybe I'll put an AC on my kitchen (or an oven in the living room) just to make that happen...

>>4757438

SCORCHED.... EARTH

>elementary school
>forget to take lunch box out of backpack before summer vacation
>mfw open backpack two months later

>don't clean bottle that protein shake was in
>for one day even
>that smell

>try to use microwave
>a fucking spider
>spray it with hairspray
>microwave smells like hairspray for days

>Come home from school as a kid
>Want a snack
>Grab a hot pocket and go to stick it in the microwave
>Microwave is full of ants
>Hmmmm....
>Turn on microwave
>Ants pop like popcorn.
>No more ants

>>4758304
SCORCHED... EARTH

>>4758001
damn that guy has a way with words

>>4758312
I know that smell my dick sometimes smells like that. Still I rather like being uncut.

>>4758314
>ants popping on the microwave

Confirmed for liar. I've microwaved ants, all kinds of them, and they never gave a fuck about it. They don't die, pop, melt, anything. Ants don't give a fuck.

>>4758320
actually they're too micro for microwaves

>>4758318
>Wash it more than once a month!

>>4758324

>>4758324
>>4758327
Funniest part is that it's true

>day before graduation
>classmates decide to have a sushi lunch at a Japanese restaurant to celebrate
>have a good time, etc.

A year and a half later...
>cleaning out my closet
>find the backpack that I used during college
>there's some weight to it
>empty out the main compartment
>oh, it's just books and whatnot
>there's still some weight to the backpack
>unzip the front compartment
>gatdangit
>it was the sandwich that I would've had for lunch back then, if I hadn't gone out for sushi with my class

That thing was vile. I could barely recognize it as a sandwich anymore.

>>4758314
Might have been my parents ancient 1970s era microwave. Maybe newer ones won't do it.

>>4758343
The literal rays of microwaves haven't changed. Those are still the same, because science.

>>4758343

older ones especially don't do it. newer microwaves have improved so that they can almost microwave insects too.

>>4757936

>plastic bag in a corner smells like shit
>must be ghosts

>>4758320
Maybe it wasn't ant maybe it was similar insect such as nat or fly why you never think of that?

>>4758342
Oh man, that reminds me...

>be in like 6th or 7th grade
>last day before summer
>class goes out, makes a campfire, roast sausages and other camping food we brought with us
>bring full pack of 10 sausages
>eat two or three
>spend summer on summer stuff
>first day of school after summer
>haven't used my backpack all summer
>open pack
>find pack of sausages
>they're orange
>and liquid

The smell never left, had to get a new backpack. Still doesn't compare to the time someone shat in my bicycle bag, though.

>>4758500
That sounds horrible, but I still laughed at the idea of someone shitting in your bag.

>putrid smell of death permeating from kitchen
>empty all cupboards looking for source
>look behind toaster
>glance inside toaster
>dead mouse inside toaster
>no idea how long it's been there
>I make toast every morning
>nope the fuck out
>toaster goes in trash
>buy new toaster
>checking for dead mice is now part of my standard toast preperation routine.

>>4757461
>how'd flies get in the oven?

that's just nature son. that's pretty much all flies do

>>4758306
god that was an awful movie

>>4759118
holy shit

>last semester, living on 3rd floor of dorm
>friend lives on ground floor
>often visit, bringing my laptop and usually some beer and cheese in the laptop bag
>after one night, go back up to my room with laptop bag
>remove empty beer bottles
>...
>months later
>reach into front small pocket of laptop bag looking for something
>feel something hard wrapped in plastic
>ohhhhhhshiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
>it's the cheese
>covered in mold
>actually smelled pleasant, like clean dirt in a forest
>kept it in a drawer til the end of the semester
>for science

OP gave the flies the ol' spicy keychain.

A+ thread, I'm likin' it. I'd contribute, but I only have vague recollections of all the terrible discoveries I've made. I've found gnats in awful places, hunted down terrible smells, accidentally burned shit I forgot was in the oven, etcetera.

>>4758317
That is the most brutal thing I've ever read.

Never grill anything on full heat. Fuck it.

I don't care if I know now to stick holes in sausages, nothing I make will ever get grilled at full heat again.

>wake up lying spread eagle face down in the hallway
>FUCK my head
>how fucking much did I drink last night?
>stumbling around in complete disorientation
>what the fuck is that smell
>pan is on the burner, smoke rising from it
>blackened remains of...something encrusted to it
>run over, and immediately turn off the pan and throw it in the oven
>fall back asleep
>wake up later
>forgot about the pan
>cleaning shit up from the previous night
>realize I had drank 2/3's of a bottle of whiskey
>finally get shit cleaned up
>look in drawer where pans go
>don't see that one in there
>oh shit
>open the oven
>pan is completely ruined, teflon is half burned off
>amazed that it didn't start a fire
>have no choice but to throw it out

Drunk cooking. Not even once.

I left about a quarter of the liquid in a Coke can and it sat in my room on a shelf for about a year. It turned solid during that time.

>>4759436
when teflon is heated above 300celcius it emites a neurotoxic vapor potent enough to kill small animals.
dont use teflon.

>>4759477
Or, you know, don't be an idiot.

>>4759486
One time, my brother was an idiot and Teflon killed like 5 budgies that way. He was inconsolable for weeks.

>buy juice at store
>bring back home
>read carton
>"contains 0% juice"

>>4759513
>search for 100% cranberry juice
>never find it

>>4759513
>buy 'choc-o-riffic" next to the real chocolate milk
>get home and realize it's not milk

>>4759532
I know that feel. There's no real chocolate milk where I live. You have to make it yourself. Which is fine, but sometimes I'm lazy.

>>4759527
>find a huge jar of concentrated 100% cranberry juice
>it's $30
>checkout girl gives me the WTF face when the price comes up
>she wants to fuck

>>4757461
>How'd flies get into the oven?
Spontaneous generation no doubt.

>>4759118
If you had toasted toast with the toaster while it contained a dead mouse, wouldn't you have smelled the toasted fur being toasted in your toaster along with the toast?

>stepdad makes my packed lunch for school everyday
>literally just cheese between two slices of buttered bread
>fuck that
>too beta to tell him his sarnies suck
>too picky to eat them
>too stupid/lazy to throw them all in a bin every time
>a month later, I discover my schoolbag has 4/5 little squashed polythene bags of blue-green mouldy cheese sandwich paste in the bottom of it
I was a dull boy in school

>watching parents house while they holiday
>mum left me a frozen pizza
>preheat oven
>10 minutes later, unwrap pizza and open oven
>oven is filled with melted plastic cookware
>I guess that's where Mum keeps her plastic handled pans and spatulas then

>>4757911
eat it

>>4757622
>then hammer throw them into neighbor's yard
Perfect

>drinking apple juice at my parent's house a few weeks ago
>drank 2/3 of a glass
>mold tumbleweed rolling around in the bottom glass
>realize that I'm the only one in my family who drinks apple juice and the jug had been there since spring semester
I did not get sick.

>>4758312
I got one sitting on my desk going on 4 weeks without cleaning it. It's still sealed and I worry for humanity if I ever open it.

>>4759642
no.
the mouse was below the elements in the crumb tray area. It would have just been moderately heated.

>preheat oven
>notice a faint smell of blueberry cake
>snoop around cupboards to see if someone left some cake
>sudden chemical stench
>smoke rolling out of oven

who would leave a tupperware full of blueberries in the oven, i don't understand

>4th grade
>locker next to friends is vacant
>put lunch box in there after lunch while talking to friend
>forget it there
>find it 2 weeks later
>we decide to keep adding to it every few days because we are 9yo boys
>3 months later last day of school almost end of the day
>locker is almost full with melted banana peels half eaten sandwiches and empty milk cartons
>everyone is cleaning out their lockers
>try to ignore vacant locker not wanting the blame
>teacher comes by to check locker clean out progress
>sniffs air
>follows smell to vacant locker
>opens locker and takes a whiff
>gags has asthma attack and is taken away in ambulance
>we catch our bus never got in trouble

Good times

>>4760035
I have one kind of like this.
>High school
>Friend starts throwing trash in a vacant locker
>months later
>everyone in our circle of friends is doing it too
>call it The Garbage Locker
>have gatekeepers so that not everyone can get in
>I was not a gatekeeper so I have little to no clue how much crap is in this locker
>end of the school year, time to clean out the locker
>I open it up along with friend who started the whole thing
>the locker is two thirds of the way full of half eaten pizza, sandwiches, chicken, anything from the cafeteria or home really.
>The coup de gras, an unfinished carton of ice cream that had gone bad months ago.
>when the smell hit us we decided to let the janitors handle this one.

and an unrelated story
>get a drink of Orange Pineapple juice from the fridge
>loads of pulp just the way I like my juice
>become violently ill the next day
>the juice was actually pulp free

be cooking bacon in the wee hours
delicious
so much extra grease
I don't save that shit
know I can't flush it or pour it in drain
could put it in trash can, trash can is empty though and is gonna smell soon
mah window
open window, look downstairs
parking lot for dentist office below
nobody looking
slyly pour all bacon grease out window into parking lot
sleep
wake up at sunrise, look out window
a dozen cats gathered around grease splatter
top haha

>I am cat summoner

>>4760074
>not saving bacon grease

>>4760081
>not being poor

>>4760081

Not that guy, but I've got like a 16 ounce glass jar of the stuff and no idea what to do with it.

>>4760099
Dump it out your window fggt. Bonus points if you live in an apartment with some business parking lot under your window. Search your feelings, you know it to be true.

You too can become a cat summoner.

>7th grade
>get those little wax coated cheeses in lunch
>friend takes one throws it at the ceiling
>sticks
>after a month end up with 4 others stuck to the ceiling and one rolled up in the pull-down map
>one falls from ceiling lands near teacher
>leaves massive grees stain

>be a horny teenager in high school
>always had unexpected boners in classes
>lonely, friendless, always sat at the back of the class
>one day I finish a tube tin of candies, but nowhere to displace it
>eureka
>started fapping into the tube every day, in the washroom during breaks, lunch periods, and times where the class was boring
>did it for 3 months (started this late winter)
>at the end of the year, pour out the contents in a vacant locker

If I could go back in time I would have loved to hide somewhere to see the janitor/whoever stumbled across my locker.

>>4760071
http://consumerist.com/2013/06/11/okay-juice-box-mold-is-gross-but-not-worth-a-trip-to-the-er/

>>4760097
>>4760099
Cook with it. Butter toast with it. Put a bit in pasta. It's amazing stuff.

>>4758306
>elementary school
>oranges at lunch(they gave us lunch)
>some random kid puts one in his locker
>fwd to 6 months later
>school is evacuated, they thought someone broke the AC system and put something in it
>they are searching the source of the odor
>eventually they gave up and let everyone go back in
>mfw in front of everyone the principal opens a random locker
>mfw it's the kid's locker
>mfw the orange is now green-white
>mfw

>>4760099
Cook with it, genius.

>military
>cook up cream broccoli/cheese casserole as a quick dinner for girlfriend
>next day, leave for 12 week training in maryland
>girlfriend leaves me a week into me being gone, whatever. weren't dating too long
>come home, go to make dinner
>black container on bottom shelf i don't remember owning
>staring at container and thinking. heart stops and vision narrows
>container is in the same spot i put glass container of cream broccoli/cheese casserole
>throw entire container from back patio into woods
>next day see dead raccoon in backyard

I have no way of knowing if the last two were related. But I texted my ex that she killed a cute forest animal, and never replied to further inquiry about it.

>>4758401
Because he said ant

>>4760345
APG or fort meade or what?

>>4760366

Meade

>forgot about freezer for 2 hours
>50000000000000 ants dead inside

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON EVERYTHING IS SEALED INSIDE

I've got a friend that likes to hide balogna in random places in my bedroom. I think that alone should speak for itself but here we go.

>Friend and I are trying to find a certain video game I seemed to have lost.
>Lookin' eeeeeverywhere.
>Friend: Hey here's the case for Mario Kart Wii that's been missing.
>Open. TheHorror.jpg
>Holy fuck the sight and smell.
>What the fucks as far as the eye could see
>What is it dood?

>Ecosystem of different colored mold. Looked like some kinda fucked up world map.
>Inspect it for a bit intrigued yet disgusted by how the fuck something like that got there.

Phone friend who did it a few days later.

"You found it!? Man, I put that there, let's see here... Yeah like 6 months ago or so. Was it awesome?"

Quite...

>>4758320
This is true. Ant can actually feel the "hot spots" in the microwave and they move around to avoid them.

>back at old home for few weeks during thanksgiving+christmas
>bunch of family staying in our spare bedrooms, we're cooking for about 15 people if I remember
>one day in the kitchen and I notice a smell starting to rise from somewhere
>"hey ma, do you smell that?"
>"oh yeah J I think it's the oven"
>"whats wrong with the oven"
>"i was taking mashed sweet potatoes out and I accidentally dropped them all over the inside of the oven"
>she didn't even fucking clean the oven, find out she has no idea how to activate the automatic cleaning

>open the oven up expecting sloppy orange mess
>NON
>Huge black coal-piles of carbonized potatoes
>legitimately look like cow pies, but cooked into the oven floor

I almost died

I've got a couple. Both of them milk-related.

>Be me, Junior in HS
>Finish breakfast, decide to save my milk 'till after 2nd hour, so I stick in it my locker
>Flash forward a semester, decide to clean my locker
>Find bulging milk carton in back of locker
>Run down to school shop, grab my welding mask and gloves, carefully pick it up by the fold on top so as to not put pressure on the carton, drop in garbage can
>Explodes, gets all over one of my gloves and the wall
>Throw that glove out and weld with a regular work glove and a heavy glove the rest of the year

Next one
>Be me, Junior again, this time in College
>Spring break, out at the lake
>Get to go plug in the beer fridge in the garage
>Open it up to see if any beer was left in
>Find gallon milk jug that had been sitting in there since the last spring break
>Leaked all over the fridge
>Put on my gas mask(I'm a /k/ommando, bite me) and elbow-length latex gloves and remove the milk
>Couldn't get the smell out, ended up keeping our beer in a cooler full of ice, threw away the fridge

>>4759420

>>4761132
>Find gallon milk jug that had been sitting in there since the last spring break
Jesucristo...

>>4759580

>>4761132
You didn't have to throw it away, you could have used borax and hot water, then warm water and vinegar to rinse, then dry it out and put it in the sunlight for a day. Plug it in. Put a big oven tray of baking soda in the bottom for a week and then toss the baking soda Cleaned out katrina a couple of fridges. I have seen some THINGS.

>>4757438
>>initiate scorched earth protocol
i lol'd, thx for the story op.

>>4761133
"season 5" is less than two months away, even though they made it into a one-hour special instead of a full season.

>be me, 3rd year university - college for those in the US
>at gf's rental home close to campus
> roommates leave shit everywhere
>thin sticky film on kitchen table that won't wash off
>roommates leave for the summer, leave shit here
>open their fridge to see if they left beer
>everything was fuzzy, because they unplugged the fridge
>MFW the smell
>MFW they come back after the summer

>>4761190

>>4761218
I tried everything, all 3 weeks of spring break, and I'm pretty sure I didn't even touch the smell. Besides, the fridge was probably 20 years older than me and I had been nursing it along for a couple of years, so I decided to drop the $200 on a new one.

>>4758342
>cleaning out my closet

>>4758500
>someone shat in my bicycle bag
lmao

>>4761228
Even more

>>4761267
you need to replace yo battery nigga

>>4758500
>shat in my biycycle bag
tell us about it

>mom loves her dogs
>like REALLY loves her dogs, goes above and beyond for these two crappy dogs over her children and husband
>one day having dinner at parents house
>they've always been really big on using paper plates unless it was a major meal or company was over
>tell me to go get a few paper plates to put some sandwiches on
>open the cabinet where the plates are, look in
>top two plates on the stack are tinged orange, black and white dog hair all over them
>"hey guys WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS"
"oh those are the dogs plates for when we give them leftovers (putting shit like spaghetti or whatever their meal was onto these plates and giving them to the dogs, rinsing them off, and putting them back in the cabinet)"
>THESE TWO NASTY ASS PLATES SITTING ON TOP OF ALL THE CLEAN PLATES

>>4761512
Sorry to say this Anon, but your mom (or maybe both your parents if your dad also let that happen) is creepy.

>>4761512
Eat the dogs anon, all problems solved, nd hey, they might taste good.
>>4761272
Not worth it, just going to get a new puter.

>neighbor makes me and my dad a cake
>after eating most of it one slice sits on a plate on the counter for a week wrapped in plastic
>decide refrigerate it before it spoils
>two days later I feel like some cake
>take out of fridge
>about to take a fork to it
>notice an ant on the plate
>lift cake with fork
>two hundred slow moving ants having a cake orgy
>oh fuck
>wrap it up and put the whole thing in the freezer
some of them died huddled together others migrated further into the cake and others died alone their bodies twisted and crunched up.

>>4759477
At least it's resistant to fluoroantimonic acid

>>4761132
>remove the milk

Excellent work /k/omrad, John Moses Browning's milkman would be proud

>Couple weeks back
>Go to make english muffin ham and cheese melt
>Turn on toaster oven to preheat.
>FIIIIVVVEEEE MIIIIIINNNNUUUUTTTEEEESSS LATTERRRRRRRRRRR
>OH GOD WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SMELL
>Look into toaster oven
>Cooking mouse, still twitching and his fur is starting to smoke.
>OH GOD WHAT THE FUCK
>While I'm looking at it deciding what to do, whole mouse catches fire
>JESUS CHRIST
>unplug toaster oven, grab oven mitts, grab the whole fucking thing and throw it out onto my back deck.
>Come back about an hour later, put the whole thing into a trash bag and toss that shit into my neighbor's trash can
>Sit in kitchen drinking some very strong Irish coffee
>Whathaveidone.jpg

Kitchen still smells no matter how much I bleach. This mouse must have just gotten in the house because there was 0 evidence of mice leading up to this.

I really liked that toaster oven too.

>>4762100
RIP

>>4762100
Freaking lol'd. You win this thread.

>>4758001
>Serbian
>Committing Genocide

I'm serbian and i find this hilarious

>Move to an apartment, first time living alone
>Get one of these and use it for kitchen trash (fruit bits, vegetable peels and stuff like that)
>About two weeks later, smell something foul
>Look at the bin and remove the lid
>Maggots everywhere, some of them start crawling out of the bin and there were several on the insides of the lid falling as I hold it. The insides of the lid were also covered in pupae.
>The horror

I learned an important lesson that day, always use a sealed bin for organic trash.

>>4762271
Or, y'know, take out your trash every once in a while.

>>4762271

>doesn't take trash out for two weeks
>surprised his trash can turns into a maggot-riddled shithole

toppest of lel

If this ever happened I would just put the maggots/flies/whatever into the oven and turn the oven on clean setting. Guaranteed to vaporize anything, I think the oven puts itself to like 900F or something like that. Then you just clean out the dust when its done.

>>4759118
Here's the scary thing about this story:

A mouse was scurrying across your countertops and was unfortunate enough to get stuck in your toaster in its search for food.

How many times had this mouse wandered around your kitchen, crawling in and out of nooks and crannies and over things you touch every day, before it got stuck in your toaster?

How many mice are scurrying around your place, just like this one, when you're not looking? How many mice find there way in and out of your place, or ANYone's place, just like this mouse, but just aren't unlucky enough to get stuck somewhere?

>>4762325
When I lived in Florida, I remember being told that for every Alligator you did see, there were probably 3 or 4 you didn't see.

I imagine that applies to mice as well.

>>4762325

Mice have a pretty distinctive smell. Grew up in the middle of nowhere and you learned to recognize it pretty quick.

>>4762325

Yeah, this shit right here. I live kinda in the woods so mice are just a thing that happens every once in awhile.

My trap in the kitchen kills one? empty out the entire kitchen and bleach fucking everything. mice are fucking gross.

>>4761629
>and others died alone their bodies twisted

>>4758500
>Still doesn't compare to the time someone shat in my bicycle bag, though

Fuck you man, you don't just tease people like that.

>>4762332

Is it a body of water? Is in Florida? Welp, there's sure as hell gators in it.

>>4760345
>next day see dead raccoon in backyard
I don't know why but this part really got me laughing

>>4757545
I've killed large centipedes by applying constant pressure and they DO scream.
They 'strindulate'; sort of like a chirp.

>>4762941
*stridulate
although i've read it's just a hissing noise from them expelling air inside them (from being squished or as a warning).
The crunchiness of their carapace and their hissing makes me feel like a space marine killing tyranid warriors.

>>4757545
that's just the air escaping

>>4762941
>they DO scream.
>stridulate

Those are not the same thing. They do not scream.

>>4757555
What? It didn't just burn down?

>>4759174
>because science.

I did that with a pickle as a kid. In one of those little door organizers hanging in my closet. Can't remember how it turned out though.

>be college student
>obtain apple juice to drink in car on road trip
>open bottle, drink some, promptly forget about it
>be six months later
>why does my car smell like alcohol?
>find opened bottle of apple juice
>it fermented

>mfw I made apple wine in my car

>>4759575
>not being able to buy tru-moo on demand when ever you want
What a miserable existence you must endure.

>mom asks dad to get something from the freezer
>lots of stuff in it
>moves the squid on top of the freezer to get what he needs
>forgets it there
>few days pass by without any smell
>then one day there's a faint smell
>no one knows what it is but it doesn't bother anyone
>every day the smell gets stronger
>a week passes by and we search the entire room and still have no idea what it is
>finally dad realizes about the squid

I can not describe the smell. Try imagining a squid sitting out in the open for almost two weeks.

>>4763015
accidentally done that too with both orange and mango juce. wish it was good :(

>Be poor
>Cooking some tomato soup, from a can
>Put that shit in a bowl
>Pop it in the microwave
>Leave kitchen for a second
>Come back
>Inside of microwave covered in soup because I forgot to cover the bowl with something

>>4757629
bugs can't feel pain

>>4763239
I haven't cleaned my microwave oven in like.. 1,5 years. Fuck that. Let it be dirty.

>>4763247
Yeah, being an unhygienic slob is totally cool, right guise?

>>4763263
don't get your panties in a twist, holmes, it's not like you have to use my microwave

>>4763269
Yeah, I don't have to smell your stink either, but you should still wash your ass

>Be about a 7 weeks ago
>have serious allergic reaction to antibiotics
>get pumped full of benedril at hospitial
>decide to cook some hebrwe nationals for a quick meal
>pass out of bed for 1-2 hours
>Room filled with smoke
>some1's smokin hooka... wait I live by myself
>entire floor of loft is a dense weird smelling haze.
>OH SHIT THE JEW DOGS
>It's literally auschwitz in here i say to myself as i get the the kitchen area
>pot is emitting a constant billow of smoke.
>two ash-lumps that remain of the dogs lay next to each other.
>the pot still has the burn marks in it, no amount of scrubbing or holocaust jokes will get it off.
>open all windows to vent out smoke.
>neighbor walks by asking if I was having a grateful dead kind of day.

that being said I don't know what was worse the loss smell or the fact that I had TWO FUCKING HOT DOG BUNS LEFT OVER FROM THE PACK AND NO MORE HOT DOGS.

>>4763294
that story really tickled my pickle

>>4763276
make me

>>4763294

>rinse out milk carton
>forget to turn it over to dry
>wondering what the sour rotting smell is everytime I walk into the kitchen for 3days...

>>4763294
I did something similar a few years ago. At the time our hot water heater was broke so i was warming some water on the stove so i could wash my hair for work. Well me, trying to go to college and work full time 3rd shift to support my good for nothing ex fell asleep on the couch waiting for the water to warm up. The pan heated to the point it was red hot and it sunk into the burner leaving a perfect impression of the heating element. I was also late for work. The smell of hot metal is nasty. Thank god it was a stainless steel pot though, i could only imagine teflon.

One semester in college I made an ice cream boat for a ceramics class.
At the end of the semester we had a big banquet with our food serving pieces.
Well I brought a gallon of ice cream and a plastic tub filled with ice and salt to keep it cold.
At the end of the day I dumped the melted ice and threw the ice cream in thinking I'll toss it when I get home.
I ended up loading a bunch of stuff on top of it on the floor of the back seat in my car and forgetting about it.
I went on for a couple months thinking it was filled with paper work.
Until the horrible day when the plastic tub tipped over while I was cleaning the car out.
It was a HORRIBLE stink even after I sprayed it repeatedly with everything I owned.
I even went as far as to dump half a bottle of carpet cleaner in there and soak it up with towel.
Finally I couldn't handle the smell and had to get it professionally cleaned.

Being an army cook means I get the chance to discover a new species of insect, reptile, or rodent every morning. I swear to god, I've seen these things evolve.

But by far the nastiest discovery can be found in the form of an odour so foul that it stays with you for weeks, a stench worse than death's. I leave this one as a reader's exercise.

>>4759575
>There's no real chocolate milk where I live.

I'm so sorry. There's a local dairy farm about twenty miles from where I live. They make fresh, unpasteurized milk that they sell as is, with chocolate and root beer varieties.

Anyone else ever tried root beer milk?

heres some science for you

>buy plastic "jar" of celery sticks
>eat celery but forget to throw out jar
>find it a month later, was sealed so never smelled anything
>the remaining liquid has formed into a mold colony, covering all areas of air and scumming the rest.
>decide to leave it behind the TV for a while for science
>3 months later the mold has died and the lower half of the water has turned clear
>2 months after there is only a film of mold on the surface on the water
>the jar appears dead for the next year
>suddenly new mold growth, the jar has still never been opened, and pressure never seemed to get high enough to vent anything.
>mold grows slowly for a month, then dies to a film again.
>a month later this slow growth repeats.
>nearly two years after i first found the jar, my roommate decides to throw it out(he knew about it the whole time).
>never got to find out if the mold evolved into flubber.

asshole roommate.
I shoulda documented the whole thing.

>>4760145
>one rolled up in the pull-down map
I'm in tears

>>4763837
Cleaning the grease trap?

>It's the end of May 2013
>Doing IT stuff for the city I live in, 8-5 full time
>Make Carnation Instant breakfast in the morning just to put something in my stomach
>Bring cup home at lunch to clean it
>Leave it in my car
>Never remove it, sits out in my car for months in the hot summer sun
>It's out there right now

I dont know how to approach this anymore. It's gone too far to do anything with...

>>4764056

2/3

>>4764061

3/3

>be drunk eating McDonalds in bed, cuz freedom
>finish snack, pass out
>wake up next morning, crack feels funny
>run hand through buttcrack, pull out single french fry
>looks OK
>sniff it
>smells like french fry
>consume
>breakfast in bed

>>4764056
I had the same thing happen with my favorite Texans turvis cup. I left some coffee in it for a few days, too lazy to clean. Then it started.....evolving. Too disgusted to clean. This went on a couple months, finally cleaned it, several times. I still haven't used it since though, I'm afraid.

>apartment starts smelling weird
>no one quite sure what it is
>week goes by, tried lots of stuff, smell still not gone
>realize the extra freezer isn't making any noise
>open it up
>HOLY FUCKING MOTHER OF GOD
>closer that motherfucker
>two turkeys had been sitting unrefrigerated for over a week because the plug was slightly out of the socket

>>4763880
I had a similar experience with a plastic bottle of apple juice.
>leave a quarter in the bottle, forget about it because it was on the windowsill and the curtain was drawn
>find it months later, bottle looks like it's under vacuum pressure, all twisted and shit, but the juice looks clear
>open it
>ALCOHOL!
>leave it
>two years later it's vinegar
>toss it

>Go to work to brother's house in march
>He eats some tangerines, leaving skins in the trash (with a foot-activated lid).
>stop working together for some months
>a couple of weeks ago, I go up to this room and start tidying up, since everything is covered in dust
>trashcan is heavy
>open trashcan
>trashcan's contents have taken the exact shape of the inside of the lid.
>whatever it was that took that shape, looks like a pale green wig.
>close trashcan
>put entire trashcan in the curb

>buy a jug of milk
>accidentally leave the milk in the trunk for a week or so
>the jug somehow leaked
>car trunk covered in a sea of green and white mold
>lift the flap up
>the mold has creeped into the spare tire compartment, and the fabric has turned green as well
>a pungent smell of sour, wet cardboard has filled the car, doubled due to the stifling heat
>read up on how to clean mold out of car upholstery
>says to use vinegar
>only have apple cider vinegar
>why the heck not (why I didn't just use car soap, I'll never know)
>car smells like ketchup and ass, and this new scent lingers for a few weeks
>small, white rings of mold still appear on the fabric
>weeks later, I get into an accident which totals the car

Well at least I don't have to worry about that anymore.

>have holiday house a few hundred miles away on beach as
>never really have any time to go there
>after about two years finally get some time
>go inside
>smells kind of musty
>open fridge
>completely full of what looks like grey cotton candy
>wtf is this shit
>put on some gloves and scrape it all out
>eventually get to back of fridge
>remnants of decomposed milk carton
>throw fridge onto front yard
>somebody drives past in truck
>slows down and looks at it
>drives back again a few minutes later and loads it into truck without opening it to see the horror inside

>>4764103
>>two years later it's vinegar
>>toss it
You left it too long.

>>4764113
>weeks later, I get into an accident which totals the car

I hope no one got hurt. lol

> Be drop out pissed
> Put frozen pizza in oven
> Wake up to smoke alarm
> First words out of my mouth: "My bad *shrug*"
> Silent treatment from housemates for the week.

>>4764145
Yeah, they have surprisingly good wifi in the afterlife. But no, no one was hurt.

>>4764117
This is how that episode of Cowboy Bebop actually ended.

Some hillbilly in a ship passes by the fridge, looks at it, and picks it up without opening it.

>>4763294
>Jew Dogs

I've shared this story before over the years, but:

>Be an eight year old ragamuffin staying at grandmother's house when my parent's were too dysfunctional to parent
>"Fuck yeah they actually have food at gramma's"
>Stayed up till 2am watching Cowboy Bebop
>Get hungry, see a large container of Quaker Oats
>Kitchen was poorly lit, didn't notice anything amiss
>Adding water to bowl, stick in microwave
>Pull bowl of oatmeal out, see wriggling
>"That's a lot of boiling oatmeal..."
>WHAT
>It's filled to the brim full of bugs and larva
>Some struggling to fly away, some curling up and dying
>Hear gramma coming down the stairs
>She would beat my ass if I wasted food
>Panic
>"What are you doing up anon?"
>Play the sweet, naive child card
>"I just wanted to make you food since you were still up"
>She takes bowl, eats it, thanks me for the food and goes to back to bed
>mfw
>Freak out thinking my grandmother would die in her sleep because she ate bugs
>Go back to watching GitS

>>4764061
>>4764064

>>4764217
>Wonhyo spent the earlier part of his career as a monk.
>In 661 he and a close friend - Uisang (625–702, founder of the Korean Hwaom school) - were traveling to China where they hoped to study Buddhism further.
>Somewhere in the region of Baekje the pair were caught in a heavy downpour and forced to take shelter in what they believed to be an earthen sanctuary.
>During the night Wonhyo was overcome with thirst, and reaching out grasped what he perceived to be a gourd, and drinking from it was refreshed with a draught of cool, refreshing water.
>Upon waking the next morning, however, the companions discovered much to their amazement that their shelter was in fact an ancient tomb littered with human skulls,
>and the vessel from which Wonhyo had drunk was a human skull full of brackish water.
>Upon seeing this, Wonhyo vomited.
>Startled by the experience of believing that a gruesome liquid was a refreshing treat, Wonhyo was astonished at the power of the human mind to transform reality.
>After this "consciousness-only" enlightenment experience, he abandoned his plan to go to China.
>He left the priesthood and turned to the spreading of the Buddhadharma as a layman.
>Because of this aspect of his character, Wonhyo ended up becoming a popular folk hero in Korea.

Your grandma reminded me of this story.

>>4764217
Hmmm, 8 years old watching GitS, eating Quaker Oats so you're probably American. Are you seventeen years of age or younger?

>>4761225
We have universities in the US as well.

>>4762332
As someone who lives in Florida, I've been told to expect a snake within 20 feet of me at nearly all times.

>>4764252
I'm eighteen now, actually. I must have confused what age I was since it looks like it aired in 2004. So I was nine then. Sorry for the confusion.

>>4764242
I like this story.

>brother breaks up with gf
>gf leaves and turns off power for security deposit
>fridge full of food
>somehow forgets about it
>me mom and him helping clean house up
>mom opens fridge to see if its cleaned
>EVERYTHING IS RAINBOW MOLD
>ketchup bottles with mold
>half a watermelon in crisper is now pink with a black core
>smelled like death and fish
>now deathly afraid of mold

I seriously check every inch of bread for mold.

>Be a sophomore
>Biology teacher gives us an egg to care for as our own child, we get points for bringing them to class
>Forget to bring egg to class one day, out of the running for extra credit and stop giving a shit about it
>I even made a cool tupperware container for it, lined the insides with an old silk napkin and cotton
>Gave the egg barbie doll sweater I resewed the neckline to fit it better
>Toss tupperware container in the back of closet and forget about it
>Fast forward to Senior year
>Doing DPH at the time after tidying up room
>Blackout
>Go to school next morning, find container in driveway not far from bedroom window
>Open it
>Black, oozing rotten egg seeps onto the ground
>Throw container in neighbors yard, never forget the smell that was had that day

>>4758306
>put chocolate milk carton in my backpack in the beginning of summer
>try to lift backpack to get ready for school
>its stuck
>pry it off
>the carton burst when i threw it into the corner at the begining of summer

>Party animal neighbors on the other end of the duplex were recently evicted, and had to go to court because they did $5000 worth of damage to the place
>The trend with neighbors we always had was they'd be some crazy religious child beating drunks, or frat boys that would flee after three months, then next door would sit empty for 6mos-1 year
>Next door was vacant all throughout a Tennessee summer
>September rolls in and landlord begins to try and repair the damages
>Walk by open door
>THE STENCH
>Lardlord calls me over
>Opens the fridge, rotting, fuzzy, white meat, green milk, a diaper and broken glass inside the fridge
>Not to mention the place has spilled beer, holes in the wall, dirty diapers and cigarrettes everywhere
>We both leave, have a beer and laugh about it
>Landlords duct tapes the fridge shut and gets a new one

>>4760139
So who, exactly, IS, this Jamal guy?

>Be about 9 years old
>Mom's really lazy about keeping up around the house and whatnot
>Be hungry. look in pantry
>Big container of Quaker Oats
>Open lid
>THE HORROR
>Hundreds of moths emerge and some manage to fly out
>Toss it in the garage can outside
>Whole back of the pantry is infested with moths
>To this day I have never had Quaker Oats

>>4764459

>posting racism on /ck/

fuck off to /pol/ racist

>>4764033
Nope, don't have one.

It's a type of root that rots horribly. You can even smell the rot in healthy pieces for weeks afterwards.

>>4757438
>initiate scorched earth protocol

lol'd

>>4764580
bad potatoes? those motherfuckers stink

>find anything with mold on it
>mother of grandmother see
>Just eat around it it's fine, don't you dare waste that.

>>4764579

Don't get your panties in such a bunch you nansy.

>>4762100
Oh god i laughed so fucking hard that is so bad

>>4762366
Jesus what a fucking pussy. No wonder allergies are rampant in this generation

Sort of a discovery story.

>have a styrofoam box of leftover chicken in the fridge
>go to grab it for lunch while heading to work
>can't find it
>dig around in back
>"Oh, there it is. Must have been pushed to the back."
>grab it and run
>lunchtime that day, pop the box open, heat up chicken
>tastes slightly off but not worryingly so
>text wife at end of lunch break
>"Oh btw, sorry I ate your chicken Anon. Couldn't find anything else quick to snack on."
>wat
>both of us very confused
>investigate small bit of remaining chicken
>It's not chicken
>It's my cod leftovers from literally six weeks ago
>been in the fridge so long it'd become a similar texture to fried chicken
>also lost most of its flavor, so it didn't taste fishy
>with honey mustard it seemed "odd" but ok
>immediately throw up in bathroom and tell coworkers they can have my stuff if I die

The funny part was I felt fine afterward.

>>4764683
mouse and rat turds are fucking gross. Did you know mice and rats also drag their unwashed
balls across everything they walk on? think about that for a sec.

>>4764730
I dont really give a fuck, its not bad for you unless you are extremely unlucky and living in completely sterilized surroundings is unnatural and psycho

>>4764742
so youd eat rat and mice turds knowing that they eat your fiberglass insulation and rotten things and god knows what else? youre nasty

>Years ago
>It's time for dinner, we're having sloppy joes
>I goddamn love sloppy joes
>we get some delicious sloppy joes and put that shit on our hamburger buns
>halfway through the meal when my sister gets another she comes back with a deathly ill look on her face
>she tells us to look at the hamburger buns
>maggots or some tiny white little worms wriggling around inside

My sister still gets sick when we mention the wormy buns

>>4764742
You do realize the Norway rat was not native to N. America?

>>4764742

>eating mouse piss and shit isn't bad for you
>hantavirus isn't bad for you

I hope you get it so we can laugh at you for being so stupid.

>>4765014
b-b-b-b-but hygiene is bad!!!

>>4759642
> toasted toast toaster toasted toasted toaster toast

>>4759807

>throwing food away someone makes for you

fucking kids (yes i know you're not a kid anymore)

>>4765088
>feeling obligated to eat what someone gives you
Glad I wasn't born into poverty.

>>4759807
>storing things in the oven
>ESPECIALLY things which are not oven safe

Why do people do this? Do they just eat so much fast food that they literally never turn on their oven?

>>4760174
>mfw when I was in elementary school I put an orange in my backpack and forgot about it and it got so stinky and moldy it turned brown and smushed and I thought for sure one of my dogs had taken a shit in my backpack

>>4765100
There's a difference between being poor and not being wasteful

>>4765107
Explain how eating a sandwich or letting other microbes/animals eat that same sandwich is being wasteful.

>>4765111
>your reading comprehension

>>4765113
Then how is not eating a sandwich someone gave you being wasteful?

>>4765140
Dear god.

>>4765140

>>4765100
I am not the poster to whom you're replying, but I was also taught to eat what is served.
I come from a diplomatic family of a certain background and was instructed that 'diplomacy starts at the table,' so proper manners and dining etiquette, including graciously accepting the food offered to us as guests at another's table, were cornerstone to my upbringing.
Had Bush Sr. come from a similar lineage as I and had been better taught by his parents to appreciate the effort set forth by those who really have no obligation to show him hospitality, the broccoli incident may have been avoided.

>>4757438
>Not a discovery, but relevant to your post.

I was chasing a fly around the kitchen for a good length of time.
It landed on the stove, right on the burner.
What was I to do but turn the flame on?
So I just burned it for a second or two, turned it off, and threw the fly out.

>>4765140

O fuck. Absolute maximum kek, my dear boy.

>be about 13
>in the process of moving
>bed and main furniture already in new place, but going back and forth packing up minor shit
>late one august night, packing
>find my old school bag, thrown in the closet untouched since the last day of school
>open it
>a motherfucking cloud of fruit flies explodes out of the bag, into my face
>jesus fucking christ
>I think I may have inhaled a few
>spend next half hour fanning them out the window and systematicly killing them
>look inside bag
>multiple green/white fuzzy balls
>I had taken like 6 oranges day, but ended up skipping lunch cause edgy ednos teen

>>4760345

Something similar happened with me and my roommates a couple years ago

>heated up a couple cans of beans for burritos on the stove top
>don't finish them all
>next day we all leave to go out of town for about two weeks (we all went to our different home towns for Christmas)
>I'm the first one to return
>smells really bad in kitchen
>fuck, we forgot to clean the pot we used to heat pans
>the beans were bluish-green and had tons of mold
>they were stuck to the pot
>not worth the effort to clean
>toss the pot into the field behind our apartments
>next day see two dead squirrels near the pot
>mfw

>>4765192
how the...

>>4765496

turned on the wrong burner, opps.

>>4765496
If you just leave the pasta hanging over the pot for a while, they start bending at the point where they lean against the rim of the pot and slowly fall into the fire.

>move to a new country with a friend
>her mum bought her a hotdog bun to eat on the flight
>she doesn't eat it, saying that it reminds her of home so she wants to keep it around
>one week later
>it's still on her desk
>I wrap it in another layer of plastic
>we place it under her wardrobe
>leave it there for 6 months
>take it out once in a while to monitor progress
not sure what the fuck I was thinking, it had degraded to a black shrivelled thing by the end

>>4757438
I had an old roommate who would store pizzas in the oven, box and all, and the oven would always be swarming with flies. He worked at his family's pizzeria so we always had pizza to eat. He also didn't "believe in using microwaves" so if we wanted to warm something up we'd have to use a toaster oven.

>>4759580
motherfucker you give us a sauce on that pretty topless lady immediately.

>>4764683

HAH, doctors tought im gonna be alergic to fucking everything because i was weak when i was young, and suffered from pneumonia severall times wich netted me asthma.

Growing up on farms and generally farm like enviroment apparently did wonders.

0 alegries
Asthma cured
Not pickish about food

Seriously, farmlands are god tier enviroment for growing up.

>>4765140
>>4765192

Please tell me you have the one where the guy tought its a good idea to put tartar sauce into cake batter.

>>4766850
I don't care what this thread is about. This picture made me lel hard.

Well, I wasn't the one who made the discovery, but I was there for the ordeal and it was really that bad.

>Be 11 or 12
>Mom has a deep freezer in the basement
>Has a habit of buying meat on sale, putting it in the freezer, then forgetting about it and buying more meat
>she does this with a lot of food, but the meat was especially bad
>one day, we notice a faint, but foul smell
>smells like something died
>we check around the house to see if the cat maybe killed a mouse or something and stashed the body somewhere
>nothing
>faint smell continues, but never gets worse, continues for a couple of weeks
>one day, mom goes down to get something out of the freezer
>she opens it up and is immediately hit in the face with the stench of a deep freezer's worth of 3 week old, rotting meat
>smell permeates the entire household
>older brother and mom have to clean meat out and bleach the fuck out of the freezer
>mom is an RN, worked in ICU and gastrointestinology, she has never encountered a smell like that, almost gets sick
>brother vomits multiple times
>manage to avoid having to clean it because i was young and my dad was coming to get me to visit his place for the weekend (thank you, split custody)

It turns out that the freezer had been unplugged by some exterminators who were going after some mice in the basement by accident a few weeks earlier. I will never forget that smell as long as I live.

I used all the cream in one of these, put the pot somewhere else and forgot about it, I found it last year. It was a little bit smelly so I took a good sniff, it was the worst smell I have ever experienced in my life, I gagged on the spot. Nothing can even be used to describe what the smell was like.

I used the cream in 2009.

>>4767440
>mom is an RN, worked in ICU and gastrointestinology, she has never encountered a smell like that, almost gets sick
>brother vomits multiple times

It is because they are being poisoned by several components of the emitted gas. One of the bad ones is hydrogen sulfide. You can actually die from breathing in a small amount of that shit. Which is why an enclosed space of a freezer where it is built up can be really damaging to you. Compound that with no fresh air in the basement and you have a recipe for getting seriously sick. If you encounter something like that and suddenly you stop smelling it even though you are still there and the stench is still there, get out ASAP. Losing your sense of smell is a bad sign.

>>4767477
Can lose sens of smell at something like 100-200 ppm.

Death in five minutes from 800 ppm.

You just kinda fall over, stop breathing, and bam, death.

>>4767483

Neat. So a perfect murder would be sending someone into your basement where you have an open freezer with shitloads of rotten meat?

>>4767489
You'd have to have it rot in a specific way to create H2S.

Probably better off using eggs, then somehow keeping the atmosphere in the basement deprived of oxygen (H2S is generally formed as a part of anaerobic respiration in oxygen poor environments).

>>4767494
eggs left in a container from which you have removed the oxygen by the simple means of burning a flame to extinction
but there are easier ways to get H2S
the problem is to come up with a good excuse

Not really that bad of a story but whatever.
>Got a mini-fridge from guy who rented out basement
>Holy fucking shit why, full of mold everywhere & smelled awful. Thankfully there was no food, just watery mold

Just got it cleaned up an hour ago and using it happily now.

How's this one?

>me and some buddies go to cottage for weekend
>brought a turkey to roast for big ole sunday dinner
>fire up oven, insert turkey
>rank odor emanates
>open oven, very smokey, discover smoking mouse carcass on bottom of oven
>mouse smoked turkey, smoke ring and all

wasn't even that bad.

>>4758306
>find one of those 4 years after passing highschool
>almost fully converted into compost
>in a plastic bag
>that wasn't properly closed

>>4758342
>Sophomore or Junior in high school
>Hate school lunch, bring a bagel with cream cheese
>Literally every day for 4 years
>One of the last days of the year, we're not doing shit in class
>Going through my bag
>Find an old bagel under the cover of a textbook that we never used
>It must have been there since the beginning of the year
>It was flattened into a thin disc, there was a yellow ring around where the cream cheese was, and the middle is almost liquefied
>There's this retard who goes around begging people for food all day
>He sees me examining the bagel
>"Dude, I'll give you 50 cents for that!"
>Talk him up to a dollar
>Give him the bagel
>Keep a perfectly straight face as he opens the bag and takes a bite
>Realize that I'm a terrible person
The poor fucker didn't even seem to notice anything was wrong.

>>4759118
You should have toasted the mouse.

>>4767477
>>4767483
>>4767489
>>4767494
>>4767581

Freezerfag here. I'm not sure where this thread went, but I will say that our basement is relatively well ventilated. It's drafty and actually has windows and a door that face the outside (the house is built into a hill, so a portion of the basement is exposed to open air), so no one died.

We did have every single door on the first floor and the door in the basement open though, and that smell was still overpowering. It felt disgusting to be in the same house as it, even though I fortunately didn't have to go near the mess.

>>4758313
>see insect
>spray it with absolutely anything you can get your hands on

Why do we do this?

>>4761190
I tried the same thing.

>>4763880
>Cleaning apartment
>Find half-full bottle of orange Gatorade behind couch
>There are black lines all over the sides of the bottle, like roots
>Shake it up
>They dislodge and the Gatorade turns a brownish color
>Put it back behind the couch
>For science
It's still there, and I haven't checked it since.

>3am
>bottle of whisky empty
>brilliant decision is made to make pasta

>6am
>awoken by fire alarm
>room is uncharacteristically smoke-filled
>water gone from pan
>pasta has become charcoal
>pan unsalvageable
>home still smells of smoke a week later

>>4765140
What was he cooking, dynamite?

>>4763263
>everything is irradiated to the point where not even microbial life survives
>unhygenic
Okay

>>4768035
Take pictures!

>>4768049
Microwaves can't even effect small animals like ants and flies, what makes you think they can effect bacteria?

>>4768070
>Microwaves can't even effect small animals like ants and flies

wut

>>4768039
tweeder?

>>4768080
What's a tweeder?

>be like 8 or whatever
>neighbor kid across the street overturns a garbage can at the end of his driveway.
>an army of like 1000 maggots comes out and starts squirming across the street towards my house.

>>4768073
Put a bunch of ants in the microwave and turn it on for 5 minutes, nothing will happen to them.

>>4768177
I can't say I've ever microwaved ants, but I've microwaved a fly and it died.

Perhaps because ants do not have much body fluids?

>>4768197
Ants can actually feel the hotspots in your microwave (it does not heat evenly, this is why there is a rotating plate), and they move to avoid them. This lets them survive.

>>4768197
Was it a larger fly? Much larger than a corn kernal, or a pea, and it won't be effected.

>>4768197
It's because the width of a microwave(the actual wave that the appliance uses)is larger than an ant. it'd be like trying to kill a mouse by squishing it with a square of chain link fence.

>>4768276
>Much larger than a corn kernal,
Much SMALLER than a corn kernel*

My apologies.

>>4768122
Buddy of mine with that exact same story.

>>4768274
you can actually measure the speed of light with a microwave and some chocolate

>>4764061
I've had this happen with hummus more than once

>>4767982

>bagel with cream cheese
>haggling
>intentionally hurting other people

you're jewish, arent' you?

>>4768756
>>>/pol/

>>4757461
>How'd flies get into the oven?

Have you never cleaned your oven and found the hole near the top?
Do you even physics, or do you think the hot air in the oven would just build up pressure without ventilation?

... actually, now that I've mentioned physics, I wonder why the release hole is at the top of my oven (under one of the coil heating elements) isntead of at the back and bottom, where more hot air could be kept in the oven volume for better efficiency.

>>4768809
>I wonder why the release hole is at the top of my oven (under one of the coil heating elements) isntead of at the back and bottom
Because the whole point of ventilation is that it isn't in a spot that is against the wall and floor.

Are you this retarded?

>>4768817
Why would I put my stove flush with the wall? That would be stupid; doubly so if the vent oriface was on the back or sides of the stove.

So I'm not retarded enough to put my stove without a gap between it and the wall, but I guess you are?

>>4766578
>>her mum bought her a hotdog bun to eat on the flight
This is bizarre on so many levels.

>>4768825
You think blasting hot air 6" from the wall is a good idea?

>In college rooming with my brother
>Cook hamburger helper in an electric skillet
>Put the lid back on when we're done and tell myself I'll clean it up tomorrow
>1 month later we decide to cook something again
>Remove lid from skillet
>Immediately assaulted by the rankest stench I've ever experienced, closed the lid again
>Gather the courage to open it up and see the gross month old leftovers festering inside
>Have to put on rubber gloves and a mask to cover my mouth in order to bear cleaning it
>We didn't cook in it for about 4 months afterwards because the smell lingered

I still use the skillet today, the smell is gone but I'm still haunted by the memory

>>4768039
>room is uncharacteristically smoke-filled
The room was usually filled with smoke, but not like this.

Bumping for great justice

Bumping this great thread with a some stories

>Live in a college dorm shared with 4 people with a small kitchen
>Have 2 fat roommates that only eat frozen tv dinners, one thin roommate that likes to cook
>Roommates decide to cook a frozen pizza
>Weeks later skinny roommate wants to bake a pie
>Preheat oven and joins me on the couch for some Walker Texas Ranger
>Time passes and then suddenly strange wooshing noises and smoke emenate from the kitchen, followed by fire alarm
>Flames in oven
>those fuckers never used a pizza pan, the drippings caught fire
>This was at like 2 am, RA was pissed
Also in the same dormroom
>Cleaning out the fridge at the end of the year and find a large tupperware container at the back of the fridge
>Leave it last because of fear
>Carefully open it up
>What was once beans and rice has become a blue-green carpet
>I swear I saw mold spores and some oily vapor rising from the container
>the mold ate into the plastic
>leave in fridge for roommates to find

>>4764255

yeah, but the term college in the US more aptly applies to University in Canada.

>>4757443
I hardly ever use my oven. stovetop all the way.

oh fuck I haven't cleaned my fridge in a over a week shit shit shit

>>4771319
Time to get the rubber gloves!!

I like how a lot of these stories end with:
>And then I threw that shit in my neighbor's yard
... You assholes lol

>leave /tg/ and come to /ck/ to find something else to talka bout other then magic the gathering
>see a magic card art in a thread

It wont leave me alone

>wake up
>throw a toaster strudel in the toaster oven
>go to shit
>smell something burning
>wipe, and head back to the kitchen
>toaster oven's on fire
>fuck....
>someone put a plastic box of croissants on top of the toaster oven, and i didn't see it.

shit sucked. i almost had to throw it away, luckily the fire wasn't too bad and it was right next to the sink

>Be muslim
>mom made lots of cookies for eid
>3 months later,found a jar of cheese cookies untouched at living room
>the jar is transparent, I see no mold grew
>decide bring it to school
>lunch hour, open the jar
>suddenly a hungry friend rushed from behind and asked for some cookies
>"man, your cookies is tasteless"
>didn't care, took one, flip it
>there's a green and blue mold at the bottom
>flip the whole jar
>it's all molded
>mfw he took it from me and eat some more
>"how does it tastes?" I asked
>"this one a bit tangy, you put raisin on it?"
>mfw

He ate almost half of the jar, and still alive. I never told him..