/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>tfw no job if everyone was intelligent enough to independently follow instructions

you should be thanking those mouth-breathers.

>>4628675
>working dairy
>hi anon wheres the milk?
>in the milk aisle
>where the milk isle?
>isle 24
>wheres that
>youre in it

I seriously dont know how these people can even shop let alone cook for themselves.

>>4628675
I hate self-check -- I should get a discount when I use it, doing the store's job for them. :(

>>4628675
Ah, Self-Check out. For when I simply don't feel like dealing with anyone.

>>4628748
This. A million times this.

Sometimes I just feel like getting out of there ASAP, sometimes I don't feel like talking to a clerk who's having a shitty day, sometimes I'm stoned and the self-checkout is more fun than it should be. Sometimes I just have far too much ice cream in my shopping basket to be seen by another human being.

Self-checkout is great!

>>4628788
mah nigga. those stoned times are the best times. the self checkout turns into some kind of cooking video game.

It really irks me when people don't 'read' signs or notes or other things when they're in a store.
I don't consider myself 'above' anyone, or better than anyone else, but holy fuckshit I wonder how some of these people get dressed properly in the morning sometimes.
If the machine says 'OUT OF ORDER' than it probably doesn't work, and you shouldn't put money in in.
If you see another sign that says 'These doors lock after 10pm' ....they're probably gonna be locked after 10pm.

Also, sometimes I feel like i'm the only fucking person in existence who double checks to see if I have my wallet BEFORE I go into a store.

>>4628815
I can never pay quite enough attention while doing it; I'm sure I look like a damn fool struggling with the bagging area.

I think self checkout machines can be annoying sometimes, but whenever I'm with a friend who's getting particularly frustrated with the machine, it's because they didn't follow simple instructions. They will do something like remove an item from the bagging area and wonder why the machine won't let them continue. Sometimes it really bugs me when a person blames the machine for their own fuck ups...

>ring up red delicious
>walk out with honey crisp

Fuck the system, fight the power.

>press button on self check out screen
>nothing happens
>press again
>nothing happens
>press harder
>still nothing
>press hard over and over until it finally works
So annoying.

the voice at my store is the chick from sonic adventure who says "welcome to station square"
feels good man

>>4628856

Fuck yeah.

I got homeless friends that get out whole cases of beer under the guise of ringing up cases of soda on the bottom of the cart.

>>4628899
People do this all the time without self checkout though.

>>4628739
This is why I never use them. Im saving them time and money, I should get some kind of discount for using it.

self check out

for when i need twizzlers, shasta, and redbull

and i only have food stamps

and havent showered in 3 days

>>4629000
You can't buy energy drinks with food stamps.

>>4629042
depends on your location
some liquor stores where I live accept food stamps too

disgusting freeloading trash

>>4628976
thats a fucking retarded way to think

>>4629042

you can buy redbull

>>4629042

Oh, but you can. I'm a sales rep for a beverage company and our biggest competition for redbull in independent convenience stores is people buying redbull on ebt and selling it to some shady guy who then drives around to stores and undercuts us by about $8 a case.

>>4629042

You can buy anything that says "Nutrition Facts" on it's label

Anything that says "Supplement Facts" is cash only.

So energy drinks are Nutrition Facts, and a few stores have some energy drink UPCs listed as food from before they changed it.

>>4629122

Some*

I had a friend who worked at alberson's in high school who gave me the passcode that allowed you to ring up alcohol so it made buying booze underage quite simple

>purchase birthday card at wal mart
>two lines open 30 people in each line
>ok self check
>place your items in bagging area
>its a piece of paper
>place your items in bagging area
>its a piece of paper
>place your items in bagging area
>its a piece of paper
>place your items in bagging area
>its a piece of paper
>place your items in bagging area
>its a piece of paper
>here comes the fat bitch to turn the key
>all 30 of those customers are already driving home

>>4629149

A self-check without a 'skip bagging' button?

>>4629070
Niggers gonna nig.

>>4628826
Hahah, this so much though. I can barely function as an adult human being myself, but the idiotic behavior displayed by some people. . . . and these fuckers probably actually have a better job than me.

>>4628725
>in the milk aisle
Useless petulent answer

>isle 24
It would be helpful if you atleast wave the person in the right direction.
You are once again being a petulant prick.

Your manager has to yell at you a lot doesn't be?

>>4628725
>in the milk aisle
Useless petulant answer

>isle 24
It would be helpful if you atleast wave the person in the right direction.
You are once again being a petulant prick.

Your manager has to yell at you a lot doesn't be?

>>4628675
WOW, you really wrote all that in green. You must be a serious new york times homosexual.

>>4628725
>glorified servant giving cheek

do that to me and I would follow you around testing the limits of customer service.
>anon can you get that heavy bag of shit from the top shelf? my back is sore.. nevermind I want the one next to it.. oh wait I need to check the ingredients, nope sorry dont want it... et cetera.

>buying a shit load of vegetables
>"I wonder..."
>scrolls through to see what the cheapest vegetables are
>my receipt now says nothing but onions

>>4628675

To be fair, if he was holding two items, how was he supposed to know which item to place in the bagging area? Seriously, it's not like the machine tells you which item to place there, and it's not as if the "bagging area" is really very well labelled to begin with.

>>4628675

>working at a grocery store
>looking down on people
>the greentexter has been greentexted

>>4628841
I always get paranoid that they think im stealing.

>>4629245

The last one you scanned?!?!

For fuck's sake, it's not hard.

>>4629057
>some liquor stores accept foodstamps

I pretty much just made this face; and I think I just broke every tendon in my body straining in anger. I work at a pizza parlor; I cant even fucking tell you how many times a group of people come in, pay with food stamps, then leave, come back, and see them all smoking a metric fuck ton of weed in their car before coming in and picking up the pizza. Now some places let you buy booze with them? Well fuck this, time to move to....not here.

>>4629244
lol'd heartedly

>>4629729
There's no way that's true.

>>4629729
you can't buy liquor with food stamps

>>4629764
Yes you can. It just has to be rung up as "general merchandise," or hustled by offering to pay for someone else's groceries in return for less than what you pay (basically giving them a discount) then turning around and buying booze.

I like self checkout because I can use leet haxor coupons I get from the internet that a cashier wouldnt accpet. haha.

>>4629769
Why not just stuff your pants full of rotisserie and fried deli chicken and walk out the door while you're at it nigger

>>4629769

like what?

I think I should do coupons more.


I hate when the robot lady gets snippy with me. "Please place the scanne- please scan the item and try- help is required- help is on the way"

If she would just shut the fuck up and let me HANDLE IT there wouldn't be a problem. Sometimes she's fine but, jesus christ, when she gets all naggy I just.. ughhh and I look retarded and I'm like, no I know what I'm doing this bitch just thinks my grocery card is an item.

>>4628826

>that whole post

>coming home from work
>taking left turn
>ladies jogs through the cross walk and I have to slam on my breaks
>she yells at me screaming that it said to walk so shes going across
>doesnt have common fucking sense

>hmm, that car is about to go through, and it says I can walk
>I should just walk out anyway, surely he will stop for me in the middle of busy traffic
>me waiting until its safe to walk across is stupid

>>4629235
youre both pretty hateable people.

>>4629776

So if the light turns green for you, do you always double check both ways to make sure the other cars stopped for their red? Do you wait until they are at a complete stop every time? Do you wait until they wave you and acknowledge that you have the right of way?

Don't drive like a prick maybe.

>>4628826
Those people are exactly the reason we have warning labels on lawnmowers that say "DO NOT PLACE HAND UNDER MOWER WHILE IN OPERATION"
and why they need labels on coffee cups to warn you that your hot cup of coffee you just ordered might... just might... be a little hot.

Those things just bother me a little.
I'm not the sharpest crayon in the box, i'll admit, but some people just... ..its hard to say it without sounding edgy, but i'll say it anyway.
Some people just shouldn't breed.

>>4629776
Pedestrians always have the right of way

>>4629235
>>4629235
>mfw these people actually exist, and I deal with them daily

Sometimes... just sometimes.. I hate working in retail.

>>4628826

The kitchen at work is divided, with the open hot line out in the dining area and the prep/fridges/dish area in the back. In order for customers to get to the washroom, they have to walk between the two kitchens and through a door at the end of the hall. There are signs every 5 feet saying 'Restroom ->' 'Restroom This Way' 'Restrooms through this door'. But every night we get at least 4 or 5 people walk into either of the two kitchens. Shit is annoying as hell, and it bothers me that these people can't follow directions. Having said that, if I ever meet the stupid fuck that designed this space shit is going to go down.

>>4628788

Why do people feel the need to take entire trollies through that shit. There is not enough room. Stop being retarded.

>>4629235

If you are standing in front of the milk and have to ask where the milk is, then you are a tremendous retard. When people are getting paid by the hour, the more of their time you waste, the less actual work they have to do that shift. So test away. You're basically giving them a free, paid break.

>>4629859
Heh.. true.
If i'm on my way up to the cash register or where ever, and you stop me and ask me for help, I don't mind helping you out as long as you need me for.
Hell, i'll even walk you over to the part of the store to help you find an item you need.
(Even after 2 years in the store, I 'still' don't know where half that shit is. They move it around monthly)
Or if you're in my line, taking your sweet ass time with some coupons or digging your wallet or checkbook out... not a single shit is given.
I'm not in any hurry. I'm not being timed. Take your time and don't worry about it.
I'm not the one with the angry mob behind me. lol

>>4628739
Buy expensive produce and search for the lowest priced equivalent.
There's your discount.

>>4628675
I worked at a grocery store when I was young. One time some bitch asked me where the burritos were. I went and showed her the frozen burritos. She gets mad and starts bitching at me. I read her the box, these are burritos ma'am. "No, I want the burritos that you put the tacos in". Wtf.face. "Do you mean tortillas, ma'am?". "NO I WANT BURRITOS. THE ONES YOU PUT TACOS IN". I take her to the tortilla shells and she buys a pack.

{insert:.Greentexrt,paremeters1:15)

>>4629868

Mah nigga.

>>4629873
It feels good to be bad when you pay for shitty red delicious/granny smith, but receive pink ladies.

>>4629879

>Implying that soft, weak, pink flesh could stand up to the glory that is the granny smith.

Eat a real mans fruit.

>>4629881
You've never eaten a Pink Lady, have you?

>>4629870
What the ever loving fuck. That rustled my jimmies.

>>4629835
>and why they need labels on coffee cups to warn you that your hot cup of coffee you just ordered might... just might... be a little hot.

I really fucking hope you aren't talking about the McDonalds case.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-BQVmvulmQ&t=3m33s

>>4629926
>The coffee just happened to be really really hot
What does that have to do with anything?
Its still coffee. Its hot. Its 'common sense' to know you should handle the cup carefully.
You may call common sense a 'kneejerk reaction' and 'unethical' or whatever the fuck, but I still say it separates the common folks from the ones who walk around on thier cellphones without paying attention when they cross the street.

>>4629926
Is 82C really that much hotter than the competition?
I set my kettle to 90 when I'm making coffee, and many people just boil water.
I understand her injuries were pretty bad but unless McDonalds were serving their coffee significantly hotter than the competition or homemade, or their was a problem with the lid or cup, I don't see why they should bear responsibility for a risk we are all aware we are taking with hot drinks.

>>4629954
>>4629960
http://thelastpsychiatrist.com/2012/09/the_nanny_state_didnt_show_up.html

This is a really long and technical article but I feel it is worth bringing up as an explanation and critique of this discussion.


the tl;dr is that "i wouldn't have done it therefore it is not a problem" is not a valid point, among a lot of other things

>>4628675

My only thing with those is that they speak and they are slow, because they speak.

I know it's 4 times as fast as a cashier, but it'd be even faster if they'd drop the "user-friendliness".

>>4630019
They obviously need an "expert mode" butto-...code. A code you can punch in at the start to just drop all the hold-your-hand bullshit and let you ring yourself up like you were a clerk. God forbid they make the option a easy-to-press single button. The retards would just fuck it up worse.

>>4630030

B...but do you have your points card?

You don't?

OK, you want to pay.

But do you have your points card?

>>4629863
Is it just you that is like this?
Because this is fascinating insight.

>>4630035
>what would you like to do today
shopping
>how will you be paying
cash
>please scan your rewards card
why, just why?

>>4630049

Because I want to know what your gender in your age group buys.

>>4630046
>>4630046
Its not 'just' me, but.. a lot of cashiers take that place waaaay too fucking seriously.
I've only been at Walmart for 2 years, but i've been in the 'retail' business for much, much longer.
It takes a certain mindset.
I 'like' working with people. You're 'my' customer. As long as you're not a dick, i'll do everything in my power to help you with whatever you need, no bitching, no griping, no moaning or groaning. Its my fucking job. I'm payed to help 'you'.
Some salespeople and cashiers.. just see customers as a bother. A nuisance.
I say you're the reason I have a fucking job in the first place.

A lot of people don't know how to just 'shrug off' the assholes, and it makes them bitter and cynical.
They let it get to them. They start hating thier job. I'm sure you've met them.

Personally, I just take it one day at a time. One customer at a time.
It really helps.

>>4630070
Was not being sarcastic, I honestly love that I can take my time with nice calm guys like you.

>>4630064
Occasionally they ask "why?" when I say I don't have a points card. I say this and they look shocked, like I'm crazy not to want my spending information tracked and sold for some bullshit "prize".

>>4630175
well that is a pretty stupid reason not to use card.

>>4630070
As a fellow person that works in the customer service industry, I am wondering if you could provide any tips or tricks to acquiring your mindset. I don't really have an issue with asshole people because they usually just end up demanding to see my manager, who I happy pass the customer off to. But with really stupid people I tend to have a harder time shrugging off. At times a really completely stupid customer will come up to me, say or do something incredibly retarded, and it will leave me feeling somewhat misanthropic, sometimes until the end of my shift or until I get a really nice customer. Is there a good way for me to stop giving a shit so much?

Sage for irrelevancy.

>>4629786
>>4629839

When you are in the middle of a turn and some jack ass starts jogging across the street because it says they can walk, they better jump the fuck out of the way.

>>4630264
You are legally obligated to let them cross first. If you hit them it's entirely on you.

>>4628708
Best part is, the ones who can't figure it out are usually the people who have the balls to look down on a grocery slinger because "theyre too dumb to have a real job".

I dislike those people.

>>4628675
>be in high school
>working in a drug store
>we wear these ugly blue smocks you can see from low orbit
>"excuse me, do you work here?"

>>4628675
>making up stories online because you are NEET and bored.

>>4628739
Tha'ts the same shitty complaint that the people that cannot work out how to use them always made when I worked with them. There could be a massive line at the manned tills but some people would just refuse to go near the self service one.

That said the unexpected item in the bagging area thing can sometimes not be the customers fault the machines themselves are not infallible.

>>4629235
>being this much of a self entitled asshole

>scan item
>put it in the bagging area
>Please place your items in the bagging area
>Please place your items in the bagging area
>Please place your items in the bagging area


god damnit

>>4629245
I hope you're trolling...

>>4628826

The problem is that we get flooded with signs, warnings, pop ups and whatever else there is. After a while, you're just getting blind to them. And no, bright colours don't help because everything is in bright colours nowadays.

The only thing that really helps is, for example, putting the "OUT OF ORDER" sign directly over the coin slot or something like that.

But I know where you're coming from, I, too, get annoyed by all the people trying to enter a building through a door clearly labelled "EXIT".

>>4628675

>first time ever confronted with a self-checkout
>stand there and carefully read what it's saying on the screen to not fuck it up
>before I can even start the first step, an employee comes over to me, taps some things, scans everything in and asks me how I want to pay

The only winning move is not to play.

>stop at intersection because stop sign
>person driving up, no stop sign, stops anyway
>starts waving at me to go
>gets pissed, beeping their horn and waving angrily
>finally punches the gas, flips me off on their way by

I don't know if they were genuinely too stupid to see it wasn't a 4way intersection, or if they just wanted to hit my truck and tell the cops I "pulled out in front of them".

>>4629774

>I hate when the robot lady gets snippy with me. "Please place the scanne- please scan the item and try- help is required- help is on the way"
>If she would just shut the fuck up and let me HANDLE IT there wouldn't be a problem. Sometimes she's fine but, jesus christ, when she gets all naggy I just.. ughhh and I look retarded and I'm like, no I know what I'm doing this bitch just thinks my grocery card is an item.

Oh god I love you man

>>4630070
>>4629863
You seem like a very cool bro. You do your job properly, and you don't give a single fuck.

I like people like you in the service industry.

>>4629859
>If you are standing in front of the milk and have to ask where the milk is, then you are a tremendous retard.

It happened quite a few times to me because when I couldn't find what I was looking for, I started looking for an employee, and an employee only. So I walk up to the dude, ask him where the canned beans are and he's standing there, stacking canned beans.

>>4629835
I used to be a cableguy, and before the internet would work, the customer had to go through a registration page and set up an email and password. I went outside for a minute, and came back into a house, and the guy was almost having a mental breakdown. He starts screaming at me that our shitty internet wasn't working.

I look at the screen, and in BIG BOLD RED LETTERS, it says:

>password too short, minimum 8 characters

>>4628675
>using self checkout
>Please place your items in the bagging area
>Please place your items in the bagging area
>Please place your items in the bagging area
>lardman manager farts his way over
>asks me to open my jacket
>implies i'm trying to steal the food
>mfw I make 50, 0000 a year and I was buying two items

>>4628708
>tfw working at shitty grocery store when these people are more dumb than sacks of shit but were born at the right time

Fuck boomers.

>>4630488
Usually when this happens to me, I can get away with placing a hand in the bagging area and pushing down lightly on the metal plate that weighs your items.

On another note, if you've ever done self-checkout and paid credit, the lady on the demo screen signs her name "Lisa." Whenever the self-checkout there frustrate me, I tend to grumble "goddammit, Lisa!" as I try to figure out where I fucked up.

>>4628675
Not food related but
>Be Australian
>Live in Melbourne
>People act like Myki is the worst thing ever
>Every time I'm at Flinders there's some fuckhead who is incapable of using the system and one of the customer service guys is trying to instruct them how to use it

>Holiday in London
>Everyone urged me to get an Oyster card, everybody uses Oyster
I'm ashamed of my country.

>>4628881
Can you prove it?

I used to go to one of those really cheap ass ghetto spermarkets, places like PriceRite that seem to have too many foreign and store brands? You won't believe this story.

>About 3 years ago
>Shitty PriceRite, getting milk because it's cheaper here.
>Store is packed, all the registers have huge lines.
>Holding 2 cold gallons, walk over to express lane.
>Someone taps me hard on the shoulder
>Turn around, see this lady in sweats with a full cart, her kid is behind her playing with his DS.
>"HOW DARE YOU CUT ME OFF"
>This is the express lane, you have a full cart.
>"CAN'T YOU SEE I HAVE CHILDREN?"
>That doesn't change anything.
>Lady flips out, yells out loud for the manager
>Manager is this fat puerto rican chick
>Lady tells manager I cut her off and called her a bitch.
>Manager turns to me. "Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave."
>Doesn't even ask for my side of the story, ignores the FULL cart.
>Drop the two gallons on the floor, one of them breaks and is now leaking.
>I am never coming into this fucking shitty store again. You should be fucking ashamed if this is how you treat customers."
>Walk out as manager flips her shit.
>Security guard gives me a nod.
>Go to Stop and Shop and buy milk at the self-checkout.

>>4630651
that lady had a cart full of groceries, why would she care about you with your two gallons of discount milk?

>>4630659
>>4630651
seriously people are such dicks. I have no care what happens to people. Makes me laugh cuz I feel nothing when I hear there are shooting or some shit that happens. But i'll still live a mostly vegetarian life style~ huehue

I've worked at the local grocery store for about 6 years now on overnights. I rarely get to deal with customers, as it doesn't get busy often. Just a lot of drunks between midnight and 3am.
This is a tourist town however, and booms during the summer months.
>tfw when I walk in and the store has all registers open with lines going across the entire store
>tfw you have to spend the first 2-3 hours of your shift helping people find sold-out items instead of getting your own work done
>tfw manager arrives in the morning and chews you out for not getting all your work done
Fucking July 4th week. Every year.

>>4630638
We don't hate Myki just because it's bad, we hate it because it cost $1.6 billion and it's worse (less, responsive, antenna troubles on trams, lower MTBF) than existing ticketing systems which we could have had installed for less than $100 million.

>>4630673
I used to work nights in a grocery store. Same thing. Our town was central in a county with almost no shopping areas, and camps on the outskirts. July 4th weekend, we'd do over a million dollars in business, every year.

>>4630673
>>4630785
I work in a grocery too, and yeah, the one-day holidays (4th of July, Memorial Day, Mothers Day, etc.) are the worst for dealing with grumpy people - my theory is that it's because the one day holidays bring in the people who aren't regular shoppers, they see how much money they're 'forced' to spend to throw their annual grill-out shindig and that makes them unhappy. Thanksgiving and Christmas don't cause the same problem, because everyone basically understands that hosting a feast isn't cheap.

>>4629235

See, what assholes like you don't realize is that it is absolutely IMPOSSIBLE to waste a retail workers time. They've already sold it to the store they're working at, you're just wasting everyone else's.

I'd have thanked you if you pulled that shit while I was a cashier, it would have got me out from behind the register to do something different from a change.

I used to love when people abandoned carts full of food for one reason or another (Once or twice it was out of anger at some perceived slight or only self checkout being open. Guess they thought they were making a point.). It meant for the next hour or so I got to walk around and put it back with minimal customer interaction.

>>4630821
Haha, this.

>>4629235
Yeah, you're a fucktard. See, retail workers don't want to have to deal with a long line of snot nosed upstarts like you, so making someone check prices, or put your stuff back, or go retrieve something off a shelf is a welcome change from having to deal with sorry ass fucks like you who crawled in from the trailer park with a chip on their shoulder.

>Work at Sainsburys (Britbong supermarket)
>Always nice to customers no matter how retarded
>Because anyone of the retards could be MCM (mystery customers)

Seriously I have to deal with EHOs, MAC, audits, but customers are the biggest fucking nuisance.

>>4629235
Retards like you who think you're giving us a hard time are great. Gives me a chance to chill out and not do any work while you stand there mentally wanking yourself with a smug sense of superiority.

>>4630917
Here in the states we call them mystery shoppers.

I say do away with grocery stores and have people pick the food themselves. It gives people the challenge of discovering what the hell real food looks like plus the manual labor would naturally select fit individuals over scooter-riding fatties.

>>4628675
The worst thing I have to do is peer review, not because I don't know what I'm doing, I just hate public speaking. Getting up and explaining my code to others is a pain the ass. If it's one on one, no problem, like telling a manager what's going on.

Government and company audits, no problem, public speaking, fuck!

>>4630983

Do you use patterns? Usually not being able to say what's going on simply is an indication there's no coherent design in code.

>place item in bagging area
>"PLEASE PLACE YOUR ITEMS IN THE BAGGING AREA"
>but I did
>attempt to continue with transaction
>"PLEASE PLACE YOUR ITEMS IN THE BAGGING AREA"
>but...it's right there. inside the bag. in the bagging area.
>"PLEASE PLACE YOUR etc"
>take out item
>put back in
>"PLEASE WAIT FOR ASSISTANCE"

I honestly think it's just the computers at my local grocery store that are retarded. I've never had this problem when using any other grocery store's self check out.

Fuck you, Shaws.

Grocery stores somehow attract an obscene amount of brain dead assholes. I worked retail for a year and saw plenty of idiots who never bothered reading the signs on the aisles, or bothered being polite in any way whatsoever. My favorites were the nig nog moms who were on their phone and asking me where the kool aid was then getting pissed when I couldn't understand them. As a customer I love to keep an extra eye out for people being dicks and calling them out on it.

>at checkout in line
>lady in front with like five items, clerk and customer exchanging small talk
>old faggot behind me "Why can't people just hurry the hell up?"
>"Be patient dude, five minutes won't kill you."
>Take as long as I possibly can checking out my basket full of items.

>mfw

>>4630967

>this retarded logic

Please kill yourself.

>>4630998
How is it retarded? Most people don't know where their food comes from and are fat.

>>4630986
Patterns, no. Though I will copy my own code from time to time and make use of it. But explaining something complicated in a few minutes of peer review isn't easy. For instance say a state machine taking care of all possibilites in an incoming money transfer to scan it for money laundering indications.

That's no indication of bad code, the code passes and still works. It's very complicated especially the sliding time windows and such. It's much easier to write it down then say it in front of a bunch of people.

Grocery store stories?

>Up front on cashier
>Someone starts unloading their cart
>Work through their items
>Get to the milk
>"Would you like your milk in a bag?"
>Time continuum stops
>They become catatonic
>They've forgotten how to speak the english language
>Nothing in their lives has prepared them for this moment
>They're staring into the abyss, and the abyss is staring back
>...
>"Sir/Ma'am? I said would you like your milk in a bag? Hello?"
>Blank stare until I eventually just put it in their cart

Every fucking time.

>>4630986
Peer review is just a formality, once it passes tests and audits by thoughful people the code is done and going into production. That's why I say that it's a pain in the ass waste of time. It has nothing to do with code quality. I'm not an Indian, I don't write sucky code so never get dinged on anything.

>>4628899
>I got homeless friends

You must not be that good of a friend if they're still homeless.

>>4631021
You buy homes for all your friends? Or just pay for their rent?

>>4630264
Too bad you're completely wrong. Enjoy being sued.

>>4630638
Is that English?

>>4631031

You mean you don't make 300k starting?

>>4630940
No, they're called "secret shoppers"

>>4631050
That's PhD in math, for quants.

>>4629839
You go ahead and tell yourself that while you're bouncing around my undercarriage, faggot.

>>4631094
Surely if someone is bouncing around your undercarriage, that would make YOU the faggot?

>>4631145
#rekt

When I worked checkouts at Tesco (brit supermarket) I used to sometimes enjoy it when a group of young people would come to my till with a crap load of alcohol.

It's genuine store policy that the I.D of everyone in the group needs to be checked, most of the time it was just the person paying who was old enough.

I would refuse them service and explain the reason, sometimes they would flip and start being dicks, othertimes they would just be bummed that they couldn't have their lame houseparty.

>>4630940
>>4630917

Are they Carmen Sandiego?

>>4631167
You are a cunt.

You either had no friends when you were a young teenager so didn't have/go to parties.

Or you'll lie and say you looked older/got someone to get you it/stole it

>>4631012

I don't get it. Why would that confuse anyone?

>>4631182
Not that guy, but I'm not going to get fired/fined/license lost so a bunch of entitled snot-nosed punks can get fucked up. Either be more discrete about it, steal the shit, or get your kicks with illegal drugs like all the cool kids, you loser faggot.

>>4631182

Not the dude but come on, they could have the common sense to wait outside and let the dude handle it who's old enough.

>>4631182
It was worth it knowing that the policy got tested by secret shoppers and the police.

It we were caught selling alcohol to underage people it would be an £8000 fine, for me to pay, not the store.

>>4631193
>>4631189

I understand losing his job, I wouldn't lose my job over any cunt.
But taking pleasure in it. Let them have their fun. Fuck.

>>4631199

>they could have the common sense to wait outside and let the dude handle it who's old enough.

That's why I thought it was funny. Because they didn't think it through.

>>4630917
>>4630940
what are these secret/mystery shoppers?

>>4631208
They wear elaborate masks and hide their identity. It is a kind of social anxiety defense mechanism.

>>4631208
People who go in to shop but are acutally either working for the store or for some other company.

They check to see if the staff are working the way they should be, such as being polite and as genuinely helpful as they can be.

They also tend to check on stuff like stock availibility and correct labeling etc

They're called mystery shoppers because they can be there at any time without warning or any clue as to what they're doing.

>>4628675
Those shitty machines give error messages all the time for no damn reason, I had to deal with them for a year.

>>4631208
companies pay randoms to go 'undercover' as customers and go to stores as a sort of quality check

at McD there are certain times when mystery shoppers are more likely to show up, people keep an eye out for them and pay extra care to their orders

>>4630463
>make up

You have clearly never worked retail, a good number of customers are retards unable to follow simple instructions.

>Work for Tesco
>Helping a guy on the self service machine because he fucked up with the coupons
>Just going to get the keys to open the thing up so I can get his coupon back out
>As I walk away I hear him being unnecessarily rude on of my colleagues even though it was in no way her fault that he fucked up
>Walk back and tell him there was no need for that and that I'm sorting it out for him
>He flips out because I had dared stand up to him
>Starts going on about how the customer is always right regardless of the actual facts
>Demands to see the Store Manager
>He comes over, gets pissed off with this guy too
>Tells him to just leave the store

I get that you can be having a shitty day but don't take it out on the poor cashier in the supermarket who you regard as far, far below you.

>>4631239

>>Starts going on about how the customer is always right regardless of the actual facts

God I wish stores would stop using the mantra "The customer is always right".
It's obviously just the managers of the company that want you to think this because if every need is pandered to then more money is made. They have no idea what level of stupidity or pomposity some customers are capable of.

>>4630004
Is this guy supposed to be correct? It is a complete and utter falsehood to claim that criticising people for their own failures and poor judgement means you support unnecessary government intrusion.

>>4630967
>lets make things massively inefficient and make cities impossible!

>>4628675
In the early days of self-checkout some machines would insist you didn't put the item in yet, and god forbid you removed a bag if there was only room for one at a time.

Luckily, it's better now.

>>4631182
You realise that the police hire teenagers to try to buy alcohol and that you will be fined thousands of pounds or go to prison if you sell it to them?

>>4631265
>Luckily, it's better now.

No, it's not. These machines still fuck up all the time.

>>4631239
>Starts going on about how the customer is always right regardless of the actual facts

Whoever came up with "the customer is always right" needs to be gassed. If they're already dead, dig up their corpse and throw it off a building. It just gives retards an excuse to throw a shit fit to get free things.

>>4631270
You'll never own a business, but if you did it would fail with your uninformed opinion.

>>4631293
>uninformed

Anybody who has ever dealt with a customer could tell you the customer is not always right. People who look down on retail workers, act entitled or generally make things difficult on purpose are dicks and are not 'right' in any respect.

>>4631293

Read about Gordon Bethune, then say that.

>>4631297
Right, the customer isn't always right. but if you act like a dick and tell them they're wrong it's certainly not going to get you more business, only a shitty reputation and bad reviews.

>>4631348
Explain to me how telling a customer not to berate the staff needlessly is being a dick? And there is nothing wrong with telling someone they are wrong or mistaken when they are in the wrong.

>>4631297
The customer gives you money. He or she is always right.

>>4631353
I'd rather lose business than deal with a customer who goes out of their way to upset staff.

>>4631352
.. wut?
Listen this isn't a moral discussion, I have no idea which of you is right, but you could at least discuss things while not being retarded and staying focused on topic. This is about if contradicting a customer will result in more or less revenue.

>>4631182
If you're dumb enough to be sober and think it's a good idea to go booze shopping with underage friends, I rather not find out what kind of ideas you think are downright genius when you're wasted.

Idiot.

>>4631354
And that is why you would be a bad business owner.

>>4631391
Not really. The rude/douchebag customers that I wouldn't want to deal wit make up maybe 1-2%. Those aren't great losses. I'd rather have a comfortable working enivronment

>>4631293
>confirmed for never worked retail

>baristo
>makin' some chicks iced coffee with two pumps vanilla and two splenda
>spendan, vanilla-an, iced coffee-an, ice
>ok here you go ma'am, enjoy your drink, have a wonderful day
>"Excuse me, I wanted whole milk in this!"
>uh okay
>dump drink in sink because no room to put more milk in without throwing off spenda/vanilla to coffee ratio
>remake, this time with whole milk
>lady starts talking to me without getting my attention while I'm making drinks
>"mumble mumble I can't even taste it, did you put it in there?"
>figure she's talking about milk because she complained about it before
>uhhh sure I did, ma'am... didn't you see me put it in? (iced coffee obviously has milk in it, you can see it) , would you like me to put more in it? We also have whole milk at the condiment bar two feet to your left right there
>"no I was talking about the vanilla, I can't taste the vanilla"
>oh okay, that makes sense, it DOES only have two pumps after all, I'd be happy to put more vanilla in it for you
>"oh okay"
>hands me cup with lid and straw still in it
>uhm, could you take the lid please?
>"SIGH NEVERMIND"
>are you sure?
>yes
>woman immediately walks over to the register to ask for my manager and complains

SIGH

>>4631355
And you are not reading the chain of conversation.

>>4631391
So businesses should let customers steal or harass the staff because if they make them act like decent people they would go away?

>>4631405
There's a difference between letting shoplifters and real disruptor go free and being helpful to complete fuckjaws who can barely put their pants on who get irritable.

>>4631391
Bitchy customers:
>take a lot more time
>tend to buy less
>complain a lot, make store look bad
>annoy good customers
>make up maybe 5% of all customers, take up 50% of time

Good customers
>take almost no time
>make up 99.9% of profit
>friendly, makes me feel good about my job
>write good reviews, make store look good, bring friends
>even if complicated order, still doesn't take long because they don't waste time complaining

Look at Alamo Drafthouse. They make all the money in providing a superior product without letting customer bullshit get in the way.

>>4631403
Bitch is a cunt. On the rare occasion I'm asked to remove my straw, I just say "oops, sorry" and do the damn thing.

I bet she doesn't wash her hands after using the restroom, either.

>>4631416
There's a reason they're irritable. It's because they were spoiled in life, told they were "a special snowflake", and that if they act like a snot-nosed little shit, they'll get what they want.

Fuck those people. They need a dose of reality once in awhile.

>>4631256
i dont think you understood the article

the point is that it's NOT their own poor judgement, because the system has taught them how to judge.

>>4631545
Its still an individuals own bloody fault if they burn themselves with a cup of standard coffee. They should take responsibility instead of suing the people who made the cup of coffee.

>>4631545
He thinks people blame individuals because it means that the government is not infallible, that is completely false. I dread to think anybody could have that as the reason instead of the actual reason, that the person was not careful enough in whatever way it happened. When its not their fault I do not blame them, when it is I do. The government or 'the system' has nothing to do with it.

>>4631545
And that point is wrong. It's postmoderist drivel.

I usually use the traditional checkout because I have a lot of items and I'm too lazy to bag shit myself.

But when I do use the self-checkout, I like to set the voice into spanish.

It's male and 3 times as loud.

POR FAVOR, COLOQUE SUS ARTÍCULOS EN EL ÁREA DE EMBOLSADO
POR FAVOR, COLOQUE SUS ARTÍCULOS EN EL ÁREA DE EMBOLSADO
POR FAVOR, COLOQUE SUS ARTÍCULOS EN EL ÁREA DE EMBOLSADO

>>4631614
I had to save that

>>4631581
can you tell me specifically what it is that causes someone to not be careful? why would someone not be careful with a cup of coffee?

>>4630651

>cutting off someone because you're a rule nazi
>not explaining yourself to the manager
>not saying to the woman that you thought she was in another line due to her full cart
>vandalising store because mad

>all these retail bros sharing experiences and feels
Wow /ck/.. I never knew.. I thought I was the only one on the board..

It gives me a sort of warm and fuzzy feeling I don't get very often

>>4631666
by being careless

Related to all this 'customer is always right' back and forth. For all the cooks out there, do you ever have customers wander into your kitchen? It's happened to me at a couple different restaurants, for a couple different reasons, but it really pisses me off when non-staff enter staff areas for dumbshit reasons like 'my server seems like a bit of a fag and I want someone else' or 'I have this breast milk for my baby and it needs to be kept cold so I'm going to put it in your fridge'. Guess what I don't have time for? Bullshit like this where there are major health & safety red flags being created because idiots are creating problems where none actually exist.

Still beats the time that a couple wrapped up their baby's soiled diaper in one of the linen napkins and left it at the table.

Shove it up your ass, customers.

I work in the dairy at a walmart. This shit has happened more than once.

>customer gets leaky bottle of milk off of shelf (we can't notice all of them dammit)
>doesn't notice it's leaking till they've made a trip through half the store
>come out of cooler to see a trail of milk drops all over the floor

Seriously people, how can you not notice the little white drops coming from your milk jug for that long of a time?

>>4631614
>>4631646
fukken saved

thanks guys, sounds hilarious. i'm going to do that next time i go to wally world.

I honestly like messing with the idiots, and I've never gotten in trouble.

>on other side of my register, filling bag holders
>customer stops in front of my line
>'is this register open?'
>they think I'm a bagger
>look up at my light and spot where I should be
I have no idea where the cashier is. The next lane is open.
>'okay thank you'
>doesn't even skip a beat

>on my register again, where I should be behind the register
>customer walks in front of line
>'are you open?'
>look at her, my light which is on, then back at her
Nope, sorry.
>goes to the next cashier

>>4632091
Fucking this.

>pack of redguards come through line
>buy ten jumbo packs of the cheapest raw chicken we have
>over half of them are leaking profusely
> by the time the order is done, my whole register is covered in raw chicken juice
>spend the next ten minutes cleaning it up and explaining to my managers why I closed down my register

>mfw watching people getting arrested for shoplifting

>>4632080
Can you not kick customers out for that?
After all, it is the kitchen and technically for employees only.
Surely you're within your rights to have them removed from the restaurant?

>me
>lol
>get someone to pack my shit up
>lol
>no tip for you my friend, i'm from yurop.

>>4631391

You'd be a bad business owner if you let the rude customers continue to treat staff badly. If a customer is complaining about something retarded, and their needs are pandered to, it makes the staff feel inadequate and they will often stop working.

Which looks better, a store that has an endless changing cycle of miserable staff, or one where the staff are happy doing their job because they feel valued by doing it?

>go to store
>check out at a register with a human
>experience a small amount of social interaction
>don't have to deal with even more unnecessary contraptions just to buy food

On a related note: http://youtu.be/AhkP0RWQ68w

>>4631674

>>cutting off someone because you're a rule nazi
Express Lane + Full Cart = No. The checkout clerk would've probably told them to move to another lane either way.

>>not explaining yourself to the manager
I think the point is the manager sided with the bitch imediately, without noticing the wrongs in the situation, bad management.

>>not saying to the woman that you thought she was in another line due to her full cart.
Why should he have to explain that? She's in the wrong and should've known better.

>>vandalising store because mad
LIKE A BOSS!

>>4631666
Being an idiot or living a very sheltered childhood with unhelpful parents. Any average person growing up realises coffee is hot and that hot things can hurt you therefore it is bad to spill coffee on yourself. On top of that parents teach us things that are dangerous and not in the pathetic manner the writer of the article presented it, telling a kid to be careful even when their parents are there to look after them is not patronising.

>>4632080
Once. Once I have walked into a kitchen- and it was to thank the chef for being fucking awesome.

Normally I'll ask the waiter to pass my compliments along, but this time the lamb was so perfect I had to tell him myself. I did not just barge in however, I asked the waiter to escort me.

>>4632184
Its a great feeling. Especially when the idiots hide things worth less than the stuff they hid it inside but still have to pay the fine.

>>4631417
Austin?

>>4631189
You would be amazed at how many people simply overload at questions like this. I mean I kinda get it, you are bombarded all day long from every direction by choices, and as humans we just really aren't built to handle this much imput. I mean, fuck there is like a MILLION options for what to have for breakfast, thats a lot of data (albiet mostly trivial) to process. And sometimes your cache just fills up and you have to take a second to really process the significance of a decision.

The one that I have that gives people trouble is "Would you like a receipt?" And in their head they're like, no, wait maybe I do, what if somethings wrong with something? maybe I should have one, then they imagine standing in the line trying to return something without a receipt, and that can be a hassle at some places, is it here? I dont know maybe I should just take the receipt, ya I'll take it. Wait, what did I just buy again? Would I ever rationally need to return something? I mean I don't want to make a bunch of trash and kill our planet for nothing and I dont want to look like that guy that flips out over not having a reciept for his 35 cent candy bar, maybe I dont need it. Oh fuck I've been standing here thinking about this way too long, how do I cover my bases and still look like I'm not having a panic attack right now.?
This whole time they are going "Nah, well, yeah I guess, but, well, uhhhhh" And then it hits them (assuming I dont suggest it) and a moment of clarity rolls over their face, as they look me in the eye and say
"Just put it in the bag"


This shit will wreck people, its baffling to watch.

>That one person who takes a full trolley brimming with stuff to the self check-outs

Scum, the lot of them.

>>4631417
I've always had the belief that 90 something percent of my customers are cool as hell.
Come in, get your shit, I ring you up, have a nice day.
End of transaction.
Its that 1-2% that will really make or break you in this line of work

I honestly believe that some people just.. wake up angry.
Some people just have nothing better to do than to make everyone around them just as miserable as they are.
They'll bitch and gripe and piss and moan about any fucking thing they can, just to see how you react.
The trick is, don't fall for it.
Stay professional.
Keep smiling. It pisses them off worse than anything you can ever say or do. Just smile and talk to them politely and calmly, as you would a child, or a mentally disabled person.
This way, when your boss or whoever looks at the camera, all they see is you smiling and being cool, while they flail around like an asshole.
Also, lean on 'company policy'. Thats your shield. If its against the books, you ain't gotta do shit.
"I can get fired for -insert retarded customer demand here-, let me get the boss for you."
Let them deal with it. Thats why they get paid more than you do.

>>4632305
I work behind the counter and sometimes my mind boggles with everything. I could ask a customer if they would like a bag, in the middle of putting their items into a bag. It's like I'm on autopilot, I grabbed the bag and started serving, then my brain kicked in and asked the usual questions before realising that out of habbit I've started already.

At one point I worked 2 jobs in retail, 1 in a corner shop, the other at a supermarket. In the corner shop when I finished ringing through the items I would ask "Is there anything else?" since their was also tobbacco and spirits behind the counter that the customer may want.
When I worked at the supermarket I would occasionally get placed on checkouts and again auto pilot would kick in and ask "Is there anything else?" even though there's nothing there for them to have. Customers would get confused and I would just explain.

The brain is a funny thing.

>>4630503
Replying to ancient post, but holy fuck, this happens constantly at an intersection near my apartment. Worst of all, I'm usually on my bike.

>near interection
>on road without stop signs
>guy coming the opposite direction
>I'm about to turn left
>slow down quite a bit to let him pass first since I avoid cutting in front of cagers for my own safely
>motherfucker just stops
>I stop and have to dismount in the middle of the intersection like a jackass because I don't know wtf is going on
>he looks at my like I'm retarded, I react in kind
>five long seconds later, fucktard turns right; naturally didn't signal anything
>seething with rage the rest of the way home

>>4629879
>not braeburn or honeycrisp
you sure showed them

>>4632080
I work at a fast food counter in a large facility.

>customer bitches about how cold it is in the facility at large
>"Wanna trade? They keep it plenty warm back in the kitchen, heh."
>just trying to joke around like the non-autist I strive to be
>"Seriously? Sounds great, I'm freezing."
>guy just barges in the side door, makes it halfway to the kitchen before I can step in front of him and explain that I was, in fact, not serious, and that this is a strictly employees-only area
>mfw

>>4632350
Not really a huge deal is it?
When someone decides on our venue for a plated dinner and they really are satisfied, we don't really mind if the groom or whoever pokes his head in at the end of the night to thank us for the service.

>>4632305
>"Would you like a receipt?"

My answers seem to sometimes confuse the cashiers.
>"Would you like a receipt?"
>-"No, thank you."
>hands me the receipt
>-"Uh..uhm ok, bye."

Oh well.

>>4631193
>>4631191
I just started working register at a CVS

>some young girl walks into the store, asks for some black and mild's
>ask for ID
>she and her friend search for one, neither seem to have it
>She says manager sold to her before
>call him over, ask if he recognizes her
>he asks for her birth date, she turns 18 later this month
>we don't sell to her, she walks out of the store all pissy because of it

I'm already sick of the people who try to argue for me to sell them alcohol when they have no ID and I've only been there a week. I'm just going to be a mega douche to these people from here on out.

>>4629776
Pedestrians always have the right of way, anon. Especially if you're turning left (right in Brittania, except around six bong or during scoulletrie or if you're the Queen)

>>4632080
> 'I have this breast milk for my baby and it needs to be kept cold so I'm going to put it in your fridge'.
> a couple wrapped up their baby's soiled diaper in one of the linen napkins and left it at the table.

God fuckign damnit, why is it that people immediately think they're the president of fucking everything as soon as a screaming bundle of shit and vomit pops out of her vagina? They feel so spectacularly entitled just because they have a baby, it's ridiculous.

>going through self checkout with my boyfriend
>we're getting lots of food, lots of bags
>we are on our way out the door when one of the attendants yells after us
>we had forgotten our bananas in one of the bags
>this young lady was pregnant and looking like she was about to burst and she ran all the way across the store to give us our bananas
>feel so bad and cannot express how grateful I am to this lady

Thank you so much pregnant grocery attendant. I hope you can forgive us, and I hope you and your child always do well forever, you are truly a wonderful person.

>>4632334
Dude, just fucking pass. He stopped, you're on a bike. You initially accelerate faster than him, you'll be out of the intersection before his engine has even started revving up to first gear.

>>4631002
>2013
>Being this fucking stupid
Yes because obviously not knowing where your food comes from is the reason for obesity. Kill yourself.

>>4632414
>>>/reddit/

>>4632414
great story XD wow it's just things like this which really restore your faith in humanity, despite rape culture!

PS: What's your tumblr blog called?

>>4632205
Grocery baggers don't get tipped

>stupid yuropoor from yurop.

>>4632359
Wow. You missed the point of that story ENTIRELY.

>>4632309
Store near me has six express self checkout lanes and four no limit varieties with conveyor belts and occasional baggers,

>>4632481
Thought you guys tipped everyone for everything? Open the door for someone, get a tip.

>>4631646
I just can't stop thinking of this.

>>4632400
I can help explain; this is because of one of 3 things
>the cashier simply didn't hear you (tends to be a lot of noise pollution at checkouts)
>the cashier doesn't give any fucks and/or is stupid
>I forgot the third reason but i bet it was pretty good

>>4629756
>>4629764
>>4629768

Missouri here. This week the state announced that for the last five years, there was a glitch in the food stap/WIC system that would allow people to use food stamps at liquor, and strip clubs.

Also, the supposed restrictions on foods at the grocers didn't register either, so people could buy whatever.

>>4631614

>>4632529
Sounds like the Meijers self checkouts in my city. I actually prefer these to dealing with a cashier, unless I'm going through Starbucks or something, then I just buy my things there (unless I have a full cart in which I go through the conveyor belt no limit self checkout).

Funny thing is, at night they only leave the self checkouts open and one or possibly two cashiers tend it on and off while doing other things up front. It's so easy to get a giant bag of fresh veggies and ring them up for bananas while holding the bag just on the scale and paying 67 cents.

>>4632309
Brit much?

It's almost as if I'm in a Harry Potter novel, or a Richard Curtis film...

>>4632309
That is nothing, when I worked retail some woman got a trolley filled to the brim with tiny items, every single one reduced. And I had to manually discount every single fucking item.

>>4632782
>yfw mecksieco