/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>4488006

Should've picked edam anon.

You should have just said you didn't realize it was only acceptable to like the most obscure cheeses you could find, or something to that effect, in the most sarcastic, venom-dripping voice you could.
I love all kinds of cheese, it's my favorite food, and I've never met a cheese I didn't like, but I'd never laugh at someone for loving Jarlsberg, that stuff is absolutely delicious! (And, it's great in quiches, grilled cheese, and croque monsieurs or monte cristos) Those people you were with are just douchebags.

>not saying casu marzu

>at a party at a friend of a friend's place
>kinda upscale dinner party, mostly hipsters
>don't really know anyone there
>talking and mingling during drinks and hors d'oeuvres
>subject of cheese comes up
>i mention that my favorite is Hook'un Dume
>they ask what's that
> I say it's a really obscure African cheese, you probably haven't heard of it
>they crown me king
>cocaine and American Apparel model sex all night

people that do that (laugh at your face when you say something perfectly reasonable) are trashy douchnards. That is completely ill mannered, even if you don't agree with someone. If you are going to be pretentious then you have to play by the rules as far as manners go. Who cares what they say, you are alright. I like Jarlsberg too.

>at hipster party
>subject of cheese comes up
>say I make my own organic cheese from milk I get from a local farm
>whole place goes silent
>their hipster glasses fog up
>some of them are so shocked by my uniqueness they start puking up pieces of imported natural tofu and starbucks soy latte
>others crumble to the ground, unable to withstand my obscure glory
>they roll around in their fellow hipster's organic puke
>some whimper
>some chant neutral milk hotel lyrics

>>4488043
My sides

>at a party at a friend of a friend's place
>kinda upscale dinner party, mostly hipsters
>don't really know anyone there
>talking and mingling during drinks and hors d'oeuvres
>subject of South Korean army dishes comes up
>i mention that my favorite is kimchi
>they literally laugh in my face

>>4488032
>I like jarlsberg too

Pffffffftthahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

>>4488043

>at a party at a friend of a friend's place
>kinda upscale dinner party, mostly hipsters
>don't really know anyone there
>talking and mingling during drinks and hors d'oeuvres
>subject of cheese comes up
>I tell a charming anecdote of how I was briefly the cheesemonger for Thomas Keller but lost my job for overfeeding Frank Black
>whole place goes crazy
>guys in weird helmets in the corner come over to find out what's going on
>Daft Punk is playing at my house

>working at a pub downton in Germany
>kinda down to earth people there, some foreigners
>I really know everyone there
>talking and mingling during serving and snacking on pretzel chunks
>bunch of Americans come in
>most of them order Guinness or the local brew
>one of them asks if we serve Bud Light
>literally the whole bar goes quiet and laughs in his face

>at a party at a friend of a friend's place
>kinda upscale dinner party, mostly hipsters
>don't really know anyone there
>talking and mingling during drinks and hors d'oeuvres
>subject of cheese comes up
>i mention that my favorite is Velveeta
>joker and his gang barge into the party
>grabs me by my face
>"do you wanna know how I got these scars?"
>su-su-sure
>he literally laughs in my face
>Batman shows up and kicks everyone's ass
>where the fuck did Bruce Wayne and Harvey Dent run off to?

>>4488006
>talking about cheese at a party
They sound like a fun bunch

>>4488043

>at hipster party
>subject of cheese comes up
>some guys says he makes his own organic cheese from milk he gets from a local farm
>whole place goes silent, that's pretty cool
>their hipster glasses don't have lenses, so they don't fog up
>some poseurs are so shocked by that guy uniqueness they start puking up pieces of imported natural tofu and starbucks soy latte
>I fall to the ground, unable to deal with the fact I'm at a party with people who actually go to Starbucks instead of a local coffee shop
>I roll around in pain, singing Neutral Milk Hotel lyrics to try and get away from how mainstream this party is

>>4488043

good one

>>4488032
>people that do that (laugh at your face when you say something perfectly reasonable) are trashy douchnards

not always

the point of laughing is to let them know their position or opinion is, well, laughable. but doing it over cheese is stupid

better to use it when someone is all

>chek ur privlege
>white ppl so dum
>beens an rice dum food
>guns r bad
>homos bettar den str8z

but laughing on someones face for thier cheese preference? come on son

>>4488112

>at a party at a friend of a friend's place
>kinda upscale dinner party, mostly hipsters
>don't really know anyone there
>talking and mingling during drinks and hors d'oeuvres
>subject of cheese comes up
>I go off on a rant about politics totally unrelated to anything
>people stand around uncomfortable with my obsession bordering on mental illness
>I feel better inside due to my delusion that they're all misinformed idiots
>go home to my trailer and hug my guns and rant about liberals ruining the world on the internet

>at a party at a friend of a friend's place
>kinda upscale dinner party, mostly hipsters
>don't really know anyone there
>talking and mingling during drinks and hors d'oeuvres
>subject of cheese comes up
>i mention that my favorite is American
>they cheer and guffaw at my hilarious and ironic response
>raise my hand in anticipation for a high-five
>their leader goes to slap my hand
>I pull away at that the last second and he misses
>the cheering intensifies, shattering the windows
>how transgressive for an educated, middle-class 20-something to pull off a grade school trick
>the building is shaking, roaring laughter and wails form an impenetrable wall of sound for a full 40 minutes
>record the entire experience and put it on disc
>album is hailed as a shoegaze masterpiece
>10.0 from pitchfork

>at a party at a friend of a friend's place
>kinda upscale dinner party, mostly hipsters
>don't really know anyone there
>talking and mingling during drinks and hors d'oeuvres
>subject of cheese comes up
>i mention that my favorite is Kraft Parmesan
>spaghetti falls out of my pocket
>I pick it up, pour Kraft Parmesan on it, and serve a white-trash spaghetti dinner
>hero of the party
>till I see there's a fly in my wine
>isn't it ironic
>don't you think?

>>4488116
>implying i'd be at that party

>be at party im holding at the in laws farmhouse
>shine and cheap liquor all around
>know everyone because who invites strangers over
>talking about obama and how he aint muh predniset
>discussion about how his policies mirror over tin pot dictators
>talk about islamic gommunism while sloshed
>everyone either passes out in their trucks and jeeps or crashes in one of the guest bedrooms
>in the morning the closer friends who stayed the night have a morning bbq and go shooting at the nearby range

Jarlsberg rocks, OP. Tell those hipsters to suck your cock.

>>4488130
how is jarlsberg
my cheese tastes are very tame

>cheddar
>mozzarella
>Parmesan
>brie
>provolone

that's like 90% of my cheese intake

What's there favorite cheese then? U like what u like n who cares what they think, that's some good cheese right there!

>>4488118
I love you

>not coming back with an assault rifle and making hipster swiss cheese.
Stop the madness.

>>4488118
I don't even know what half that shit is but I cannot stop laughing

can we get a hipster exhibit at the zoo?

>at a party at a friend of a friend's place
>kinda upscale dinner party, mostly hipsters
>don't really know anyone there
>subject of cheese comes up
>i mention that my favorite is Humboldt Fog
>everyone smiles and nods in approval
>their leader pats me on the back and assures me that I belong there

>>4488112

You sound like an unlikable douche.

>>4488147
you're wrong one one count at least

juries still out on my douchey-ness

don't feel bad that you're a retard though.

>>4488133
Mild emmenthal.

I fucking love Jarlsberg

>>4488006
>trying to out obscure a group of hipsters and pretentious people, but fail.
Next time try harder .

>>4488159
oh.

>>4488006
Should've said head cheese.

>at a party at a friend of a friend's place
>kinda upscale dinner party, mostly hipsters
>don't really know anyone there
>talking and mingling during drinks and hors d'oeuvres
>subject of cheese comes up
>i mention that my favorite is dick cheese
>they literally move away from me and death glare in my direction for the rest of the night

>at hipster party
>subject of cheese comes up
>turn my nose up
>"yeah, I used to be into cheese a few years ago."
>"i mostly dabble in different phases of dairy fat, lots of in-between states and stuff that if you didn't know you might say 'that's spoiled!' that can actually be quite good if you're in the know. you know? oh, you've never heard?"

>>4488072
>at a party at a friend of a friend's place
>kinda upscale dinner party, mostly hipsters
>don't really know anyone there
>talking and mingling during drinks and hors d'oeuvres
>subject of South Korean army dishes comes up
>i mention that my favorite is boodae jigae
>they literally laugh in my face

>at a party at a friend of a friend's place
>kinda upscale dinner party, mostly hipsters
>don't really know anyone there
>talking and mingling during drinks and hors d'oeuvres
>subject of cheese comes up
>everyone laughs because we are all vegan
>we then were blasting techno that no one in this thread has heard of, I'm pretty sure you don't even get the subtle reference.

>>4489967

>>4488043
>unable to withstand my obscure glory
>organic puke
>chant neutral milk hotel lyrics

I love you

>>4489916

>>4488118
GG bro

>at any party
>obnoxious drunk no matter the situation
>no one takes anything I say seriously

problem solved

>at a New Year's Eve party at a friend's place
>kinda downscale redneck bunch, mostly dumbasses
>don't really know anyone there
>talking and mingling over beer and crappetizers
>subject of cheese comes up
>I mention that my favorite is cave-aged gruyere
>they have no fucking idea what that is
>some stupid cocksucker throws fireworks into the room
>entire place goes up in flames

>>4488159

KoL my nigga

>>4488006
>upscale
>hipsters

>>4488043
>>4488076
>>4488118
top lel

>>4488148

>juries
>douchey-ness

And he's the retard?

>>4490293
my nigga. you still play at all?

>>4490945
pls respond

>>4488006
Is there anything wrong with Jarlsberg or is it just mainstream or something? I don't eat cheese so I have no frame of reference.

>>4488089
>Joker
>Harvey Dent
wut

>>4492100
>responding to your own post to draw attention to it
wut

>>4488145
that feel. Acceptable answer as well is; "I buy my cheese from this goat farmer at the farmers market near my house. I don't think it really has a style, he's been doing it his whole life!

Do you want to go tomorrow morning? You can just stay over and I'll make some sourdough waffles with my vintage waffle press and fresh eggs from the chickens out back in my urban farmstead."

>>4493294
chuckled

>>4488006
Well OP, if it makes you feel better, I've never heard of Jarlsberg, so you're more hip to the game than I am

why does anything artisan or fancy automatically = hipster for some people?

>>4488143
pleb

Jarlsberg is the only cheese

>>4495176

>>4488006
>cheese elitists

lel

>>4495137

There's actually a book out that already explains the reason why. It's completely handwritten by blind scribes who have lost their sight after years of perfecting their skills in absolute darkness.

But you've probably never heard of it.

>>4495283
Wasn't this a sidequest in Oblivion?

>>4496459
Sounds like moth priests? At least it's not raining flaming german shepards.

>>4496499
No, I feel like... There was a Thieves guild quest that the gray fox gave you? and he was sitting in the ...holy fuck this is bad, but the house in Burma or wherever it was. The game glitched for me and didn't recognize I beat the quest, so it ended for me there.

>>4488122
>range
The back yard is the range, pleb.

>>4496504
>backyard

>Not having a dedicated range on the south lawn.

Pleb

>>4488122

>be at party im holding at the in laws farmhouse
>shine and cheap liquor all around
>know everyone because I married my sister, so her in-laws are my in-laws
>spend the night yelling at my sister wife how gay marriage is an assault on our way of life
>she falls asleep
>i start hitting her for being uppity

Don't worry, they are faggots.

Slice up some jarlsberg, chiffonade some basil and slice some room temp tomatoes thin. Take any bread good for grilled sammiches and put all that stuff together with some salt and pepper and make it like a grilled cheese. One of my favorite things ever.

>>4496547
>faggots
...
>chiffonade

lel.

>>4496547
>slice some room temp tomatoes thin

>implying you refrigerate tomatoes

>hosting a dinner party at my place
>kinda upscale dinner party, mostly hipsters
>subject of cheese comes up
>they all rattle off names of cheese i couldn't pronouce (except for Venezuelan beaver cheese)
>theres a chain hanging in the corner of the drawing room (just the dining room in my two bed bare-brick loft in the warehouse district i'm not using)
>walk over to the chain, smirking
>blurt out "my favorite is velveeta"
>don't give time for anyone to react
>pull the chain
>ceiling opens up
>boiling Velveeta engulfs everyone there
>they scream the way that gives you nightmare
>some scald to death, some drown
>leave the scene as is, don't attempt to clean up crime scene
>sell my apartment at a 300% profit as liveable art
>mfw

>>4496579

>doesn't know what chiffonade means

lel.

>>4488112

If you laugh at anyone with reproach that means you lack decorum and poise. You're not classy in the least.

>>4496586
>implying you refrigerate tomatoes

In a kitchen, yes, they keep longer. Keep a batch outside and a box inside to grab em when you need to refill.

>>4490196
Hey! That's my strategy too! We should party!

>>4496625

No, they don't keep longer, if keep includes flavor. Cold kills Z-3 hexenel, meaning even if you bring the tomato back to room temp it's got much less flavor now.

>>4496625

it's good for preservation, but bad for the flavour. In an industrial sized kitchen I can see little to no choice (counterspace is a at a premium) but never in my own kitchen.

>>4488006
>i mention that my favorite is Jarlsberg

There's nothing wrong with that.

>they literally laugh in my face

So what.
Let the pretentious snobs laugh.
Personaly I wouldn't want to hang around with a crowd like that because I would never mesh.
I would advise you to do the same unless ofcourse you want to be assimilated among the assholes.

>>4488143
Wow... everyone knows that the best way to listen to anything is on 8 track.

>>4496617
Some "arguments" neither deserve decorum or poise.

Civilization isn't always civilized.

>>4488006
I'm still not sure if OP is trolling or not, but what could possibly be wrong with Jarlsberg? Do most Americans even know what Jarlsberg is?

>>4496749
Jarlsberg is sold in pretty much every grocery store here, so I'd say it's pretty well known. San Fransisco bay area here.

>>4496790

Can get it at publix in preslice packages and costco has gigantic blocks.

Georgia reporting in.

OP, maybe you just stumbled into a inside joke or something. Jarlsberg is mentioned in devil wears prada.. and for a while there anything with cheese in it was not allowed to go to waste on the grounds that "There's like 8 bucks worth of jarlsberg in there."

>>4496796
is publix your grocery store?

>>4499530

I don't own the company.. but I do shop there from time to time.

>>4499554
lol, sorry for the shitty phrasing

>>4496600
meh 4/10