/ck/ - Food & Cooking

Jim here, you GD bastard put my mother fukin sammich back.

rye is a good sign, but i think its bologna

definitely bologna and i see mayo

>>4475836

I will end you, if your filthy mitts even get one centimeter closer to my sammich.

if this is real, you sir are a piece of shit

>>4475836
>>4475832
>rye and bologna

congratulations, you've stolen some Poorfag's lunch. He probably saved up to splurge on some cheap shitty rye and even then could only pair it with bologna, the saddest of lunchmeats.

And now he's got to go through the rest of his workday without lunch. But no, really OP, feel free to kick this guy while he's down.

>>4475838

are you sure it's mayo or has the office set a trap for the lunch thief?

i like pickles

and there's no fucking cheese.

>not having a coolbag in your desk

Jim deserved it.

>>4475849

I also, had my dog take a bite of the pickle for you asshole

>>4475843
Looks like the nigger stole a camera and computer, too.

mayo and yellow mustard is ok with me

>>4475843
>>4475848
i work in a 3 story office building with 6 different lunch rooms. there's somewhere close to 200 employees. i hit the lunch rooms at off times, don't hit the same fridge more than once a week and try not to steal from the same person once a month. been doing this for years.

unless its a situation like today where i almost get caught i can usually put together a pretty solid lunch from 2 or 3 different bags.

What is bologna? Looks processed, we don't have it in the UK as far as i'm aware.

>>4475832

/b/ pls go

>>4475857
Fuck you, OP

What kind of monster would eat bologna without frying it first?

its not mayo, its miracle whip,
still good though.

>>4475857
We weren't allowed to keep lunches or snacks at our desks, just in the lunchroom. People like you would hit our fridge pretty hard, and I got tired of being hungry so I would make an extra sandwich once a week and put it in a bag marked "I made extra, please take if you are hungry". I actually got a thank you note and a snickers bar snuck into my lunch bag. Jim should have been nicer.

fucking nigger

ppl should start leaving fake lunches that theyve messed with because of you

>>4475865

I can't believe that you could steal from a man who can't even afford cheese.

>>4475865
How fat are you? Judging by your fingers you've gotta be 280+lbs

>>4475868
people that work here are pretty uppity. if a stolen lunch was even on the radar as being a problem it would have been brought up at a meeting and i've never even heard a whisper about there being a "lunch thief"

we once had a meeting where they talked to us about using the handles on the glass doors instead of leaving prints on the glass cuz some fat cunt didn't like the way it looked.

also, thanks jim

Time to put poison on my lunchbox and keep antidote in my pocket.

>>4475872
6'2" 266

>>4475870
Switch out the Rye for a one dollar loaf of store-brand wheat bread, and the Miracle Whip with store-brand mayonnaise. That's at least $4-5 in savings. Problem solved.

>Miracle Whip
>Bologna

I imagine Jim being really depressed living in a studio apartment by himself.

>>4475865
You can tell that OP is overweight by his tubby, meat stick fingers. So, not only is he taking someone's food, he's using that food to needlessly stuff his face and worsen his condition. OP, you're fucking sad.

>>4475865
>>4475857
>>4475849
>Steals lunch
>A fatass does it
Why am I not surprised?

>guy is forced to eat shitty bologna sandwiches with miracle whip
>fat piece of shit steals his lunch
>makes shitty excuses as to why he's a fat waste of human resources
>guy has to go through the day hungry
You deserve to have your toenails ripped out.

>>4475886
>>4475916

>expecting fatties to have any shame

If they did, they wouldn't be subhuman piles of lard to begin with.

>>4475916
This. Seriously OP what's wrong with you? Do you think people find your shitty antics amusing?

Semi-related:
>use work fridge for first time
>store my leftover tacos
>come back for my second break
>someone gutted the fridge and cleaned it
I mean it was pretty dirty but at least warn people before you throw away everything.

>>4475916
i didn't say anything about not being fat

this is fred's lunch from a couple months ago

This is why my company developed SandWatch. The lunchroom fridge security system.

>>4475882
hey, I live in a studi-
>depressed
>miracle whip
>out of bologna
c...carry on...

>>4475925
There was a warning taped to the fridge door for the last two weeks. Everyone who used the fridge regularly knew already. You decided to throw that shit in on cleaning day.

OP is a subhuman thieving nigger. grow the fuck up fag.

>>4475859

Luncheon Meat.

OP, if I ever caught you doing that, to ANYONE, I would beat you so hard you wouldn't be able to eat anything that didn't fit through a straw.

>>4475962

Honestly, I'd lace my food with glass.

>>4475962

Not if it was some huge chink with a knife you wouldn't.

Still, stealing a man's lunch is pretty low - although I'd use it as an excuse to treat myself to something nicer than a fucking rancid dry sanger with a fucking gherkin stuck in it.

I hate taking my own lunch in anyway - there's nothing worse than knowing all morning what you're going to have for lunch. Literally nothing. Not even rape.

>>4475966
have fun with your attempted murder charge

>>4475931
Hey man I'm depressed, and live in a living room of a one bedroom appartment and my breakfast/dinner/supper today is 6 dates i have left I'd punch a baby for a bologna sandwhich

>>4475972
The FUCK is a fucking sanger?

>>4475972
>implying he would have a knife where I work
>implying he would know when I was coming at him

This my third time reading one of your threads.

Truly OP is a god among men.

>>4475998

>implying there are no knives in the kitchen.
>implying he doesn't have some kind of chink-sense and will spot you a mile off.

I always take a knife to work, btw - you never know when it will come in handy. One of the accoutrements of a gentleman and all that, don'tchaknow.

>>4475991

sanger = sandwich.

don't you speak the bleedin' queen's or summat?

>>4476001
>implying you can get knives at an airport
>implying he could spot me in the sea of aircraft and conveyor belts

>>4476004
No monarch owns my language. I am a free man.

>>4476009

>implying he's not actually a north korean insurgent who you previously mistook for a chink
>implying he's not there to assassinate the president's sister-in-law with a knife full of anthrax

>>4476013

To be fair, I doubt that her majesty has ever said, or even heard, the word "sanger".

not that it matters, but i always keep a knife with me. its a tool that i use at least once a day and i feel naked without it.

>>4476020

Are you trying to threaten me, you fat bastard?

I wonder how hard it'd be to find someone just taking a ton of photos with a shitty Nikon COOLPIX of knives and half eaten sandwiches.

>>4475832
When I worked in an office with a communal fridge and freezer I bought a large red tool box and padlock. I kept my food in that. My food was the only food not stolen at least once. By the time I left the place, almost everyone had their own locked toolboxes or other lockable box in the fridge. lol

>>4476035

I would spend all of my spare time getting assholes fired for theft.

This used to happen in my office too.

I brought a mini camera and caught who it was. I didn't turn him in though.

I then brought a bag of dog shit to work, and came in about 2 hours early. i spend 45 minutes smearing his keyboard and chair with shit.

He got dysentery.

>>4476101
Oh, I forgot to add this in >>4476035 after I left to work someplace else, I met one of my old coworkers randomly. She told me that the person that was stealing the lunches was our boss the entire time. lol

>>4476101
You're a good person. <3

Nobody likes assholes. Except gay people. Gay people burn in hell.

>>4476035
I'd like to think that the thief was forced to starve and be miserable.

It sucks everyone had to spend their money to combat the piece of shit, but definitely well-spent.

>>4476111
>Gay people burn in hell.
I like you.

>>4475925
got a temp job as a janitor at an office building for a week once. One day we got to clean out the fridge. Throwing out peoples full condiments and 30 dollar lunch boxes felt good.

>>4476128
>throwing out entire lunchboxes

That's a good way to get fired.

>>4476128
Translation:
>I didn't go to college
>I ruined past work relationships
>I have a criminal record
>basically threw away my life
>I hate people who worked hard to be successful
>why can't I have nice things without the effort
>why do I get punished for being a shithead

>>4476131
You can't talk sense to libertarians that have an axe to grind.

>>4476147
>libertarians

>>4476131
I was supposed to throw out everything. the fridge was supposed to be totally empty.

>>4476136
i had this job for part of the summer during college.
even if this was ruining "work relationships" I do not give a shit. this was just a shit job the temp agency gave me until they found something better.

I hope someone at least make a catfood sandwich with a nice bottle of piss for you, you cock fucking bitch thief. fucking pisses me off. Not only are you stealing their hard-earned money but you are stealing the time, effort, and pride that they put into making your goddamn lunch. Do you even bring a lunch, or do you go to work simply expecting to steal the food of a coworker? Or do you eat their lunch and in a fit of thieving gluttony decide to steal for more food THAT YOU DON'T EVEN NEED?

I don't know what the fuck is worse but your motive doesnt even matter you are literally the scum fo this earth and i am sick of dealing with that fucking prettyboy sociopath faggot in my office always taking shit from the fridge and not even manning up to it when i sent a confrontational email to him last week asking about my Coke Zeroes and bag of grapes in the fridge along with other shit that seems to vanish every week or so

i dont give a shit if people think coke zero is feminine or ask if i am "on a diet' or some bullshit like that i like the way it fucking tastes and i'm sorry if i dont want diabetes with my sugar water holy fuck how hard is that to believe???? fuck you craig you stupid fucking cock face asshole i hope you rot in hell and your 'huge cock' decays whle you are still livng and then well see who is confident and gets all the cheap laughs and superficial flattery and fucking flirts form the stupid office whores

fuck

>>4476184
>this was just a shit job the temp agency gave me until they found something better.
Love the attitude. It's sure to get you far in life.

>>4476185
DISREGARD THAT I SUCK COCKS

If I worked in an office setting where this was a problem, I would bring a God-tier lunch to work every few weeks and load it up with salvia. If it gets taken, it'll become pretty obvious who the theif is. And if not, just eat it when I get home and have a good ole time.

>>4476216

how would that even be obvious, virgin...haven't you ever swapped bodily fluids with another human?

>>4476225

Salvia, not saliva. Salvia is a drug that makes you hallucinate briefly.

>>4476225
He said salvia (drug), not saliva (bodily fluid).

>>4476216

>eating salvia

I put fuckloads of chili pepper and cayenne powder in almost everything I make. I love the spicy burn.

No one else does.

I had my lunch stolen once. Only reason I know is because when I went to get it there was one spoonful missing and a post-it note on the tupperware container with "WTF???" scribbled on it.

>>4476225
Those lels
>lrn2 reed

>>4476233
This. Salvia needs to combust at high temperatures.

>>4476253
Such as the 98 degrees of your body?

>>4476263
>98F
>combust
No.

>>4476253
No dude, it doesn't. Smoking is a means of immediate effect but salvanorin can also be absorbed through mucous glands in the mouth. It won't be so strong as to have a breakthough but experience would be noticable.

>>4475857
But that food is not yours. It is not right to do what you are doing. Can you see that?

>>4475857
kill yourself

>>4475866
I don't think Jim is at fault here for anything really, but kudos to you, that's actually a really sweet idea. I like you.

>>4476274

Nah, you have to eat a fucktonne. Squamous membranes and what not. If you mixed an MAOI in there, it would probably do something, but who can be fucked with that?

The basic idea's sound though - what you need is a bit of LSD of DMT instead. It would be pretty easy to play "spot the tealeaf" when he starts talking to buddha on the PA.

>>4476030
guy i work with does that all the time. probably not that uncommon

>>4476110
fucking figures

>>4476300
Oh man, watching someone freak out after stealing a carefully prepared lsd sandwich would be incredibly satisfying. But legalaties are sure to follow afterward.. Salvia is legal in most states.

I worked at an office building one summer in college, and parts of my lunch kept getting stolen. It would happen about once a week, and only when I brought leftovers of something tasty. The weird part was the thief wouldn't take all of it. Just eat about half and leave the rest.

I got tired of it, so I bought a little one oz bottle of that capsaicin extract online and mixed it into a pot of chili then brought some with me to work. Sure enough, about an hour before lunch time I hear a commotion in the lunch room. I go in and see a bunch of people standing around as the fat secretary is coughing and moaning in pain, trying to drink water. She ended up having to go to the hospital. It was fantastic.

No one ever stole my lunch again.

>>4476331
Drinking is legal, but purposefully getting a teetotaler is not. It's intent to commit a crime or something like that.

>>4475866
You rewarded a thief for being a scumbag. Why?

>>4475832
You would honestly be less of a disgusting human being for doing this if you weren't a fat fuck.

If you were a skinny dude and weren't making a lot of money and didn't have many options other than taking a bit of food from random people in order to be able to eat properly, then I wouldn't find your actions vomit inducing.

Just thinking about you stuffing your fat face with that sandwich makes my stomach lurch.

>>4476367
everyone needs a stranger to do something nice for them every once in awhile, besides no one ate my lunch after that. I make really good sandwiches, I was happy to share. I don't go to work any more, but sometimes I will send extra food with my family members for them to share with their coworkers or classmates.

Who wraps sandwiches in foil?

>>4476398
OP does. He didn't steal anything.

>>4476409
That's what I suspected.

successfultroll.jpg

>>4476409
Assuming the metadata is right, he took that picture at 1:00 AM so yeah probably.

>>4476331
>don't mark the bag
>suggest employee get drug test
They'll be more interested in him than figuring out who's sandwich he ate.

I like you OP, I really do.

I would be pissed if you stole my sandwiches, but I respect the fact that you play by the Rules Of The Jungle and don't buy into that Meek Shall Inherit The Earth bullshit.

People will act outraged, but they are gutless and can't even admit to themselves that looking out for #1 is the way the world works.

Respect.

>>4476435
>suggest employee get drug test
lol America

>>4476354
Does that still apply if it was done by you to your own food that you intend to eat but somebody stole it? Guess it would robably be in violation of some kind of company drug policy anyway, so maybe it's not the perfect crime. Capsaicin guy has the right idea.

>>4476454
The law isn't probably on the books, but it's a precedent waiting to be set.

Kind of like the guy that sued a home owner when their dog attacked them during a burglary.

>>4476469
Wow. Some people have no shame.. Did he win his case?

>>4476435
>DMT and MAOIs in coffee pot
>all work stops to commune with the tree spirits
>diarrhea everywhere
>suggest drug test

>>4476430
>1AM
or 1PM there's no distinction

>>4476020
according to the exif data this picture was taken 5 minutes before it was posted
or, according to you exactly 12 hours and 5 minutes.

>>4476485
Yeah, that's why I brought it up.

>>4475979
>implying they would be able to trace a fucking sandwich

>>4476485
It's actually a well established precedent in the US. Basically you have a duty to at least warn people of hazardous conditions on your property, hence "Beware of Dog" type signs. Wikipedia used to have a really good page on the matter, but it seams to have either been orphaned or edited to death.

silly OP, crime is for niggers

>>4476514
>implying the guy with the cut up jaw wouldn't point out which lunch bag he got it out of

>>4476527
>implying he would be sound enough to focus on IDing a lunch bag

>>4476521
this

OP needs to be held accountable for his crimes

he should at least make restitution if not be charged with larceny

>>4476519
On further research it appears to be called duty to warn or duty of common humanity depending on country.

Also, Call of Duty of Common Humanity would be an excellent video game.

>>4475982
Why don't you live in the bedroom?

>>4476185
are you ok bro? wanna talk about it?

>ops face when he gets a trap sandwich with laxative sauce

it probably wouldn't do anything because most fat asses can use a good dose of laxatives to get their shit working

>>4476185
mmm fresh pasta

If this is not a troll then i'd cheerfully slip a knife up into your kidneys OP. If it is a troll then 9/10, congratulations, I mad.

Why wouldn't you lace a drink with epicac or something. Put a tall frosty milkshake in there, from Sonic and half epicac and walk away. Do it for a week, you'll be sure someone will latch onto it.

I'd laugh my ass off.

OP is a terrible person and I wish all the bad things this world has to offer upon him

>>4476924

He's already on 4chan. How low do you want him to get, you vindictive cunt?

>>4475857
This reminds me of primary school and the weirdos stealing other kids lunches except they would take roll ups and chips

OP, I hope you steal from someone with severe hypoglycemia issues, they can't afford lunch and die from working 8 hours without food, causing your workplace to finally put cameras in the lunch room and you get caught and charged with homicide.

what type if animal feces has the highest chance of causing hepatitis A?

OP rules, you guys are all fags

>>4477034

>I hope a stranger dies and leaves grieving children so that another stranger is subjected to some opprobrium and inconvenience.

What the fuck is wrong with you, hombre?

A much more dangerous disease that raccoon feces contain is a parasite called Baylisascaris >Procyonis (Raccoon Roundworm). This is a type of roundworm that can infect humans and if transferred to children, or the elderly, and people with compromised immune systems, infection with this roundworm can even be fatal.

So lace your bait sandwich with coon shit and you condemn this bastard.

>>4477060
Where do people work where every single coworker has children? Fuck you and your babymaking company.

>>4475832
EXIF his ass.

>>4477298
Uhh why don't you? Learn what lens he used OMG

>>4475925
>This. Seriously OP what's wrong with you? Do you think people find your shitty antics amusing?
i find it hilarious

i also gfind it intruiging that people would eat any random shit. that sandwhich sounded like the worst thing ever made aside from the bread

>>4475857
is there like 4 fucking slices of bologna on that?

>>4475832
its fuckers like you that make me wanna put a tasty looking lunch in the fridge: laced with laxatives.

if i were Jim id make a really nice looking sandwich & mix laxative into the mayo

People like op are why I load my food with hot sauce and peppers. I find it fantastic, and hopefully if it was stolen the dick who did it doesn't have the same love of spicy food, or tolerance there of.

>>4475832
hmm.

Yeah.

You wouldn't last 2 days where I work. You'd get the fucking life beat out of you.

I hope it happens to you too. Soon.

>>4477453
Watch out for that edge, bro.

>>4475859
Think cheap Mortadella

>>4475929

>>4475941
It's not luncheon meat, it's lunch meat. No one has luncheons anymore, they just eat lunch.

>>4476000
How so?

>>4476105

>>4476238
Wow. They were offended that your food was too spicy for them to steal, then wanted you to feel weird about it? Unbelievable.

>>4476253
It's a panini, bro!

>>4476374
Yes, OP has fat reserves he can live off of so he doesn't ever actually have to eat food.
He can just live off of that stored fat and live like normal until he becomes less of a fat fucking disgusting sub-human landhamwhalefuck and then it's okay for him to eat food again.
We'd be okay with you stealing lunches if you weren't fat.
We can tell by your fingers that you are fat and that is bad.
We don't approve of overweight people.
I am finished.
and fuck fat fat people, too.

>>4475832

stealing my mate's lunch is hilarious. i love to sit and watch them search for it all over the break room.

>>4477506

Look at the picture. What does it say? Does it say luncheon meat? Thought so, cunt.

>>4477506
Is lunch not an abbreviation of luncheon?

>>4476122
>>4476111

>>>/pol/

>>4476521


>>>/b/

I had food stolen out of the lunch room for a while. I started making 'special' sandwiches, hehe, if ya know what I mean. Funny, the stealing stopped after that. I can only hope you got one of my 'specials', OP.

moralfags can die any time now

Good on ya, OP.

>>4478203
yes, that guy is retarded it.

>>4475832
FOR SHAME OP

FOR SHAME

I hope the people that you are afflicting, one of them browses /ck/ on the right day. If only.

Wait a minute
Talking about criminal activities on 4chan is a bannable offense
Theft is a crime.
So...

>>4475857

You're a cunt

I worked with a guy who did the same thing all the time! People got tired of itso 1 day sone food laced with laxative made its way to the group fridge and anyone who took someone else's food spent a lot of time in the bathroom! Eat at your own risk!

>>4479847
that's called poisoning and you'll get 10x the jail time as the guy that stole $2 worth of lunch

>>4480348
why would it be poisoning if you put laxative in your own sandwich and someone steals it?

Either way OP already said he doesn't take from the same lunchroom or person so it would be hard to bring a laced sandwich every day for 2 months in hopes that someone would steal it and get sick

>>4480367
intent

i can't boobytrap my own front door

>>4480348
How is putting laxative in your own food considered to be poisoning? Maybe the person who made it wanted to clean themselves out.

>>4480375
laxative is a thing people legally ingest

this isn't like setting a trap to shoot someone with spring loaded door

hopefully OP is allergic to peanuts or something else and someone sets him up with a lunch to hell :3

>>4480388
>hopefully OP is allergic to peanuts or something else
That isn't even remotely funny, and I highly doubt OP would be stealing other people's food if he had any sort of common food allergies. Food allergies, especially to nuts (which tend to be more severe than most other food allergies) really suck.

>>4480401

Why should anyone care about the welfare of someone who steals? If someone broke into your house, would you kindly escort them out?

>>4475857
>>4475832
You know that whole, Thou Shall Not Be a Cunt thing? You should, I wrote it in stone.

>>4480367

I'm not sure the legal term for it, it may be "Attractive Nuisance", but you can't do it for the same reason you can't set booby traps in your house. Should people be allowed to put cyanide in their lunch food when they're afraid someone will eat it?

>>4480401
OP deserves to get hit by a truck, he should be so lucky that he chokes to death

OP is hilarious and everyone else is butthurt and afraid to live by the rules of natural law.

>>4480348

Only if they can prove you weren't just constipated.

>>4480401

Nah. Your inferior genetics is hilarious. I wish they still served peanuts on airlines so your shit genes wouldn't get passed to the next generation.

>>4480545
>I wish they still served peanuts on airlines so your shit genes wouldn't get passed to the next generation.
I bet you are overweight and have yet to lose your virginity.

You are a genetic dead end.

>>4480567

underweight virgin here (not the guy you're replying to)

I too wish death upon peanut allergics and cilantro haters.

>>4480569

underweight non virgin I mean. underweight drunk non virgin.

>>4476185
tl;dr
I saw cock and I like the way it tastes and fag

>>4476216
My dad used to run a medical marijuana co-op for a while
My aunt had her card, as well as a friend who had one.
So, my aunt's friend asked her to pick up a few cookies from my dad's shop and bring them to work so she could pay for them. My aunt doesn't see her the first day and puts the bag of cookies in her desk
My aunt gets a call from a guy she works with later on saying he's so sorry but he needs to know what was in the cookies because he has been having "complications" (If i remember right, diarrhea and being high as fuck)

She had to inform him that they were pot cookies and he had just eaten three times the regular dose for a full grown man
At least she found out who was stealing food

>>4476035
>implying stealing your toolbox wouldn't be hilarious

>>4480569
my mom was allergic to certain kinds of nuts but not all, mostly pecans
I pray I dont inherit that

>>4476105

>>4480375
says you.
I can booby trap whatever I want.
Boobies beware.

>>4475832
Are you not allowed to have your own mini fridges in your office?

>>4476185
>confrontational email

>>4476185

lol'd hard

saved for later use, thanks brah u have a way with words

>>4480375
actually yes you can.
Rigging up a shotgun to fire at anyone who enters your home without flipping whatever switch is grossly illegal. Even if no one actually gets shot by it.

>>4480783
do you even reading comprehension?

thats tiny sandwich for a lunch
how do people eat so little? i would be hungry again in like 30 mins

>>4481036
Not everyone is a gigantic lardass

Hey fucktards, before you get your moral indignation on again today - notice how every sandwich he steals has the same wrapper?

Yeah, they're his sandwiches. He's just winding you up.

>>4481813
we all know how hard it is to come across aluminum foil

>>4475882
I love bologna

married in a 2 bedroom apartment

>>4475979
>implying

you know theft is a crime right?

>>4481822

Which is the only wrapper around!

You really think people would still be bringing in their lunch after a week of this? And they all just happen to use aluminum foil over saran wrap or butcher's paper?

>>4481874
>moot thread

>>4481874
Oh no. What have you done, moot?! What have you dooooooone!?

>>4481874
plx2sticky kthx

>>4481900

Nah, he should get a mask and become a real office Robbin Hood. Run into the steakhouse that the CEO is having a business lunch with Mr. Rich Investor in, steal his steak right off his plate, then chop it up and sneak the pieces into everyone's lunches in the office fridge.

>>4481900

Moot has spoken, this thread is now officially a Jim's replacement sandwich contests.

also, make me a sammich MOOT.

>>4481900
/ck/ in charge of making any food "better"
fucking newfags

>>4481911
>>4481888
>>4481885
>>4481883

>MOOT MOOT MOOT MOOT MOOT MOOT MOOOOOOOOOOOOOTYKINS

You know, he would probably post quite a bit more often if you guys would just stop doing this every time he does.

>>4481900

I suggest he replace them all with those Chicken Bacon Ranch subs from Subway, with a tray of veggies so his coworkers can pick whatever they like for their sandwiches.

Also, nice dubs, moot.

>>4481915
>implying we want that pederast polluting this place

>>4481915
I didn't mean for him to sticky this thread: I meant for him to give us a permanent sticky with links to /ck/'s various resources on cooking such as that booru site and the myriad wikia /ck/-users have set up. At least Foodily, or something. You know: something more similar to what /fit/ has.

Also, a temporary sticky for all the ABC threads lately, like we had when the KFC Double Down premiered.

>wrapping your sandwiches up in foil just to take it off immediately and take a picture of it to make up a shitty story on the internet

I bet your fat worthless ass didn't even have any other container/material you could have used to sell the story better either.

>>4476519

thats incorrect, in fact the worst thing you can do is put up a sign that says beware of dog as that can be used against you. they will argue that you knew the dog was a potential threat and will seek to put it down as well as other charges against you.

>>4481972
I find it unbelievable that a trespasser could charge the property owner with anything.

>>4481982

you arent familiar with the law or lawyers are you? there is a saying about lawyers "all lawyers are assholes, except mine hes great." pretty much all of them are dicks in one way or the other

>>4481987
>you arent familiar with the law or lawyers are you?

I'm not

>inb4 taste like taste

>>4475962

24edge48me

>>4481997
And nobody likes it.

>>4475859
read "boloney"
kind of like mortadella but not quite

This is glorious. OP: please report again another day.

>>4481982
stuff like that happens all the time. i remember a guy was climbing a gutter to break into a guy's house and the gutter pulled away from the wall. the burglar sued the owner of the house for not having his gutter attached properly.

>>4475962
moar liek beat ur meet amirite

>>4475859
im gonna guess its the pig equivalent to chicken roll

>>4482725
Chicken roll is probably worse.

I wouldn't wish chicken roll on my worst enemies. It's some of the grossest food I've ever had.

>>4475832
I really hope someone catches on and makes you a Sperm Spread or some nice Chunky Peanutbutter with the crunchies being dingleberries.
I used to work construction and this one damn Mexican would get Mountain Dew bottles out of my tool bag and chug them. Did this for like two weeks. So I drank all my dew early and filled it full piss, fucker chugged half of it before he realized what it was.

>>4482759
im sorry to hear that, chicken roll is my personal, food i love but is by all reasonable measures is disgusting

>>4481919
If someone replaced my lunch with a Chicken Bacon Ranch sub from Shitway, I would hunt that bastard down and force feed it to him.

>>4482842
Seriously.

Gee, thanks for replacing my salmon-kale-feta quiche, cottage cheese with wild blueberry jam, and blood orange with a fucking shit fast food sub.

>>4482879

real men don't eat quiche

>>4483653
real men aren't worried about appearances.

>>4483653
Whatever.

>>4483653
Don't worry, Anon. Even if others don't, I got the reference.
That was a terrible book, by the way, but it did get a nod in one of my favourite vidya, so I had to read it.

>>4483653
>>4483666
Real men don't worry about proving to homos that they're real men.

Fuck you OP, make Jim a sandwich and apologize for your niggering antics.

the world a better place because of you OP. you have risen above the stupid brainwashed masses. stay golden
p.s casual trivial theft is hilarious

>>4483747
2edgy4me

Make a Headcheese sandwich n put it in bag with Jim's name on it n c if he eats it!

>>4475857
This is why people make Ex-Lax brownies and shit-filled sandwiches.

>>4483747

>>4475832

I fucking hope that sandwich was poisoned you, thieving scum. Die! Die horribly!

>>4483747
>casual trivial theft is hilarious

yeah it can be, like in that episode of seinfeld where that guy steals the raisins

>>4475865

can you rate the sammichs out of ten please?

>>4475860
>fun thread
>GO BACK TO /b/

Every fucking time.

>>4475865
That's fucking disgusting.

Shitty bread
Shittiest of lunch meats
Mustard and Miracle Whip
And pickles

I'm dead fucking serious, this is what most people around me consider a sandwich. I don't know if Americans suck at making sandwiches besides burgers or that I just surround myself with poor people.

>>4475936
>grow the fuck up

We tumblr now

>>4484458
great episode

>>4475979
Not if you live in Florida, just claim stand your ground

Poor Jim, make him a sandwhich n put his name on it n he will really wonder wtf is going on

>>4486614
He'll probably never find it, and it will go bad.

>>4486684
Then u will have a sand which in fridge to eat that u brought