/ck/ - Food & Cooking

monitoring

Are you guys ready for this shit?

>>4428336
continue...

>one oven pan
>one beef roast

And one can of beef broth

>>4428354
>canned broth

>>4428354
>not searing the meat first
this may have been the fastest fail yet

>add a little less than equal parts red wine.

I don't know jack shit about wine so I just buy a bottle of red that's around $15. Im trying to develop an appreciation for wine and I've never had a merlot so I bought that. Not sure its really a cooking wine, but im sure it will work just the same.

Searing the meat only blocks flavor from entering the meat you doofus. Its like sealing the outside of the meat the expecting flavors to be able still get in. Dumb!

>>4428382
wow

>>4428382
>2013
>still believing old wive's tales
Searing does nothing to "seal" the meat you stupid piece of shit.

>Now time for veggies.

And keep that wine handy. Daddy had a long week at work.

>>4428336

>can of condensed mushroom death slop
>dried celery
>immature carrots
>what in the hell is "rubbed" sage
>cheap wine

I will try to contain my rage and allow you to continue because the rest of it might be acceptable.

>>4428354

you tried to hide that garbage here >>4428336
you might as well just piss all over everything...which would do the same thing as that shit in a can.

Abort, OP. You've sinned.

you put in no effort at all with your cooking ... why do you even have that chef's knife?

Chef Boyardee would be a positive alternative. Get someone to reboot your cooking. Canned chicken broth is awful, canned beef broth is like the Vietnam war.

>Canned items are bad

Oh no, looks like we have a gaggle of Gordon Ramsey wannabe's incoming!

>>4428426
OP pls

>>4428428
But I am not OP.

>>4428423
>why do you even have that chef's knife?
To cut the plastic so I can get the meat out of the package, duh.

Oh god OP, why didn't you sear the meat first.

I'm sad now ;_;

Im a fan of freeze dried veggies. They keep a nice flavor and are great for soups and anything else. The best part is you always have ingredients on hand and never and waste! I consider it an essential for frugal cooking. With this dish I could have bought a bag of celery, half of which would have rotted when I forgot about it in my fridge. Instead I bought that big jug for $8 and not a penny wasted!

>>4428409
Is this an acceptable alternative to canned broth?
http://www.amazon.com/Better-Than-Bouillon-Beef-base/dp/B00016LA7U/

I don't really have to time make my own beef broth

>>4428426

not all canned things are bad. Canned broth is a fucking crime. Just get some oxo cubes and piss into a bowl.

>>4428423
>chef's knife
>santoku

This is exactly how I imagined someone who buys food at Walmart would cook said food.
Enlightening, OP. Please continue.

>not putting the fat on top so that its deliciousness infuses into the rest of the meat over 4+ hours
I'm sure it's tasty and all in the end, but there's absolutely nothing that isn't pot roast 101 here, and since it's hard to get more basic in cooking than a slow roast I'm really trying to figure out what the bragging is about.

This is actually a very professional recipe. Now all you need is a quarter cup of cream to help aid in milkification.

>>4428382
That's wrong and you're retarded.

You guys mad lol. Im sorry I didn't slaughter my own cow and bottle my own wine. Im cooking food here, not trying to apease Angie.

It is sad though that some of you think that searing your meat improves the dish somehow. Old habits die hard I suppose.

cool kitchen secrets, you should write a cookbook

>>4428436

NO that's just a bunch of crap. I believe in frugality, hence I can buy fresh celery for .49/lb use what I need and freeze the rest for stock which is still cheaper than your inferior quality...questionnaire, dried nonsense. The only reason you have that trash is because you wasted money due to your laziness.

>>4428457
>Old habits die hard I suppose
If by that you mean sound, tried and true techniques like using the maillard reaction for depth of flavor, you're correct.

>>4428457
>hey guys I make a pretty mean fried egg!
>here are my secrets to my awesome fried egg!
>hey why don't you guys appreciate my egg frying?
Fuck off, cunt.

>>4428437

Pretty high in salt, but flavor's decent.

>It is sad though that some of you think that searing your meat improves the dish somehow.

that sentence perfectly illustrates why you never listen to anything you read on /ck/

>>4428466

bingo. searing doesnt lock in juices, but does create flavor

>>4428457
>Angie

idk who in the hell this Angie character is but there is no way that you'll impress her with this refuse.

>>4428457
If you were even able to manage putting your meat the right way up I might give more credence to your idiotic belief that searing does nothing for flavor.

No need to mince the garlic, just smash and throw in.

>>4428478
It does. But it's pointless for roasts since it will prevent the flavors on the outside from penetrating into the meat.

You might as well just pan sear the meat and that's it.

>>4428437

>>4428485
>That's smashed garlic

Now you're really just fucking with us

>>4428486
>it will prevent the flavors on the outside from penetrating into the meat
I hope you're a troll. Because the other options is that your parents fed you lead paint chips growing up.

KAWAII KNIFE! KAWAII!!!!!!!!!!!

>>4428485
you really are a fat, lazy fuck

>>4428485

right, of course unless you want to release the GD flavour..you might as well just throw some coloured beads in.

>>4428485
>just smash the garlic
>smash the garlic
>smash
It's not smashed. I don't know whether to feel stabby or laugh my ass off at your ridiculous stupidity.

Putting the odds 3:2 he cooks it at a high heat.

>>4428509
I'm betting a microwave shows up soon

And lastly our golden mushroom soup.

It will probably turn out okay, just not something you'd want to pay money for at a restaurant. If you can't eat your own cooking and immediately think "I'd shell out good cash for that", then you're wasting your life making bologna sandwiches and/or doing it wrong.

>>4428513

>>4428513

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Finish it off with some ketchup to complete this dogpile, OP.

>>4428513
It's a twist!

>>4428513

Now we are ready for the oven.

>>4428528
oh gawd

>>4428528
Oh god it's hideous. Please tell me you cook it under the broiler.

Great, now I have to pay for my eyeballs to get rape counselling

>>4428528

>>4428519
>>4428521
>>4428523
>>4428527

Did you faggots not see >>4428336 ?

If you didn't see this coming, you're retarded.

Don't forget your baked potatoes!

Into the oven uncovered at 350F for about 30the mins. Once it is up to temp, we will come back and turn it down.

You niggas doubt me, but this is going to turn out amazing!

>>4428541
>maine, ny
I will find you, OP, and I will make you pay for your crimes.

>>4428536

>>4428547
Fucking hell.

>>4428547

Somehow I just knew today would end with me sitting in my shower, urinating on my own chest. Thanks OP.

>>4428549

all meat in the USA is traceable by the USDA number...got it.

0 201456 606147

he lives with in 20 miles of this local producer which only sells to a few outlets.

country wagon produce
rt. 26 Maine NY 6078263985

I will make you pay for this OP.

>>4428599
There's a maine, ny? That's wierd

>>4428599
Now all we have to do is stalk those outlets and watch for someone with hands that match OP's hands.

>>4428605

yep...and it's very close to OP

http://www.countrywagon1.com/

>>4428607


upon further investigation OP purchased the meat at....
564 Popple Hill Rd Berkshire, NY 13736
(607) 849-4997

which narrows it down to a five mile radius

>>4428640
You hear that OP? We're fucking coming for you.

>>4428641
>>4428609
>>4428640
>We r lejun xD

>>4428646
OP deserves it and you know it.

Time to turn it down to 310F. Keep an eye on it because we will need to eventually cover it with some foil.

Its nice you guys are trying to find me. If you do you can come over and have a plate of pot roast with me. But those spices were not purchased near where I live.

I made some chicken wings the other day, would you guys like to see pictures of them?

>>4428666
Yes please op

>>4428666

zeroing in on position

Grimmway Farms carrots featured on 'Biggest Loser'

>>4428666
christ, that looks like a gelatinous glob of ick.

the whole reason that i started cooking was to cut out processed, shit food just like this.

>>4428666

The expiration date of the meat is tomorrow which means at most you could only have a 48 hour jump but I'd bet with your clear lack of planing your within an hour or two of the location.

nice evasion strategy OP............bluff.

>>4428704
>Beef
>Expiring

i think you could have done without the mushroom on top but other then that, good job OP

>>4428704
Sell by dates and expiration dates are different. You probably have 5 days after the sell by date.

Ok.

>>4428721

sure, but grocery stores only give their meat three to four days from the time it's packed to expiration

>>4428547
>Not salting your baked taters

Stay pleb-tier /ck/.

>>4428737

wtf..did OP abandon his failed experiment and order wings?

>>4428753
Out of all the abominations in this thread, THAT'S what makes you sick?

>>4428758
see
>>4428666 then >>4428674

>>4428766

thanks ass hole for your additional irrelevant thread content.

also, when did this become some distraction of some other meal.

>>4428789

>>4428798

>>4428766
>>4428789
>>4428798
>>4428805

>>4428813

nope...just a chicken dance

>>4428823
Call.

Just covered with foil. Didn't have my phone so here is some pizza I made.

>>4428831

>>4428798
>>4428805
>>4428813
>>4428823
>>4428831

Are you doing what I think you're doing, you pathetic worthless afterbirth stain?

OP, your food looks like shit, but honestly you really want to check your family life when your dickhead 12 year old little brother is following you around on 4chan trying to stir up shit with you.

>>4428843
<
>>4428848
You'd like to think so, wouldn't you?

>>4428848

I know none of theses men who spend time with other men....indecently

>>4428858

nothing can stop the chicken dancing.

>>4428869

>>4428813
>inb4 ban

>>4428878
why>

also, pretty weak .gif.

>>4428895

>>4428902

stretch out buddy and prepare for war.

>>4428924
Limbering up.

>>4428931

>>4428942

>>4428945

>>4428951

>>4428956

When's this coming out of the oven, OP?

This is the only time I'll ever say this.

Abandon cooking and live off of McDonald's.

May god have mercy on your soul, OP.

>>4429130

leave it to the holier than now chick to bring god into this.

ITT: newfag posts food; oldfags sage war about it.

>>4429222
"food"

>>4429228

yeah, I wouldn't eat it but just like they call dog food "food" it's still food.

>>4429210

So is a vegan holier than cow?

>>4429210
>holier than now

>>4429299
Is a chinaman holier than Mao?

Loops, I fell asleep. Drank the rest of the wine and daddy got a bit sleepy!

Anyways now that's getting dark, I gotta use the flash on my phone. But here were go, it was awesome!

>>4429528
Pig disgusting

>>4429528

looks fucking delicious, recipe pls

>>4429517
>>4429528
>>4429536
>>4429543
>>4429551
>>4429558

>>4429536
You know the point of slow roasting is to cook it for long enough that the collagen in the fat dissolves into the surrounding meat, making it tender and flavorful and dissolving all the lumps of fat in that cheap cut of meat? Wait, no, of course you don't.

But for anybody who does give a shit, collagen in the fat starts to break down when it hits 190F. Cook it for long enough and it'll dissolve completely. Do it at a low enough temperature that the meat doesn't burn or dry out and you get delicious and tender. And that's the why behind slow cooking cheap, fatty cuts of meat.

There you go, how to hook up a pot roast. Women, please try to keep your panties on.

>>4429517

Hey OP, while it is conventional wisdom to brown the meat and onions before a pot roast, you were able to find the golden mean in braising temperatures where the whole stew caramelizes. Look at the top of that roast, haters. Maillard. This is why classical braising recipes call for temperatures in the 300degF range. In fact, Marco Pierre White does this when he cooks a pig's trotter for Raymond Blanc. Look it up on youtube if ya don't believe me. He does not sear that trotter.

As others said, browning meat is crucial to get the deep, savory, roasty flavors: the difference between a steak poached in water and cooked in a pan. But that caramelization can happen when a braise is just right. Good job OP, 7/10, would definitely eat. You can take your pot roast to the next level by making your own stock, but pot roast really is one of those dishes that should be easy.

No offense OP. I'm sure it tasted fine but your photos made me want to vomit. The entire process looked like poop and the finished pot roast looks like poop. I dry heaved three times reading this thread.

>>4429570

P.S. here is how I like to do braised beef.

Homemade vegetable stock: carrots, onion, leek, parsnips, black peppercorns simmered for an hour.

Dredge the beef, brown it hard. If it's a big pot roast, I like to cut it into rectangular blocks. Remove the meat to a plate, in with the shallots, halved. Brown these hard too. Big cross sections of rutabaga in batons and oblique carrots. Brown. Deglace with the balsamic, chuck in a handful of raisins. Add the beef back, cover halfway with stock, into the oven at 350degF for one hour, then back down to 250degF for 3-4 more depending. Once the collagen is melted and a fork will twist in the beef, remove and strain out the liquid. The shallots will have dissolved but the root veggie coins and batons are good eating. Reduce the liquid to a sauce. Serve with gnocchi, french fries, or buttered noodles and green beans with dijon or field greens with lemon.

In fact, I'll cook this and post about it sometime soon.

Cheers

>>4429603

Forgot to mention the bouquet garni for the last hour of braising. Leek tops, fresh bay leaves, thyme, and garlic. Cheers