/ck/ - Food & Cooking

or not be a halftard and know how to bake falafel

>>4416861
I did a sandwich once that went downhill fast. Roquefort cheese and horseradish on thinly shaved prime rib, and a bit of Dijon. I did this on some soft baguette.

The Roquefort got along with the horseradish, the horseradish got along with the mustard, the mustard worked with the Roquefort. The presence of all three, however, created a bitter nasty shiftit in my mouth. I have rarely eaten worse.

>think the problem is baking it
>not realizing the problem is using boxed mix

I bake falafel sometimes, when I don't want to fry it, and have also grilled falafel. But, I make it from scratch. Those boxed mixes are terrible.

>>4416881
on paper it sounds gourmet. guess not haha. thanks for your input.

Most of my serious errors in judgement have been the "will it blend?" variety, or thinking good ingredients will mask the bad bad and ruining all the ingredients.

the desire to use up wilting vegetables can be strong, but it's a mistake to put them all in one dish. one time I put 7 hot peppers on nachos; painful to eat and gave me a burning stomachache.

>>4416885
>falafel mix
What's in that?
I just do it like my nan did: cooked [preferably green] fava, spices (cumin, peppercorn), fresh parsley, enough roasted chickpea powder and water to hold it together and some salt to taste.
Form into patties or logs.
Pan fry in olive oil (inb4 /ck/tards saying you can't fry in olive oil) until GBD, then drain and serve in marquq (similar to the Indian flat bread, roti, but of Lebanese origin) spread with charcoal-roasted eggplant and topped with beet-and-lemon-pickled turnip. So good.
I also like eggplant falafel, which was created by Lebanese immigrants to southern Italy (nan was one of those). I never see eggplant falafel in restaurants, though.

>Peeling a huge potato
>trash can next to me for peelings and shit
>cut off the bad ends and put in the bowl
>cut the rest of the potato into wedges
>throw wedges in the trash
>wait
>what
FUCK

>>4416946
>making coffee one morning
>fill the pot with water
>put in filter
>put in a scoop of coffee
>put up the coffee can
>Can't wait for that coffee!
>dump the filter and coffee into the trash
>pour the water into the t..
...wait a minute..
goddamit

>Make chili after earlier eating pumpkin pie
>Hmm cinnamon and clove could be good
>Never cooked with clove before, put a TBSP in chili
>numbs entire mouth, tastes like clove
>Try to dilute by pouring in salsa, helps some but increases the volume of shitty chili
>Choke down a bowl a day for about 2 weeks

>>4416946
I know what that feels like.

I always put layers of paper towels in my trashcan before peeling spuds.

>be underage
>making chili
>recipe calls for 1 cup of vinegar
>seems like a lot but okay...
>entire chili ruined
>tastes like I'm eating nothing but vinegar
>recipe was for pickled chili
>mfw

>>4416992
hahahahahahaha

>>4416992
>pickled chili
that sounds like the worst thing ever

>>4417039
>>4417045
The cookbook was from the '50s.

>>4416861
not cooking, but eating story, really

>I am young and know very little outside of farmhouse type of cooking mom does (she was a good cook, but limited in scope)
>meet new friend at new school first day
>invited over for dinner
>His mom is Mexican
>we're having homemade flour tortillas, cooked over mesquite fire in a drum with hand-hammered lid made specifically for tortillas, with condiments while we wait for stew to finish
>these things are about 1.5 feet diameter, and unfuckingbelievably good. I could have never imagined a tortilla like that. Would've been fine for the entire meal
>she asks me if I want some chili
>amirclap retard kid being me thinks omfg she means the stew is chili
>I can hardly wait to taste what this stuff could possibly bring to my already developed euphoria
>she hands me a small glass bowl with small spoon in it
>I look at it quizzically, and she says it's the chili
>/shrug
>take a spoon full and shove into gullet
>holyfuck that is hotter than raining hellfire in a volcano
>they all laugh at me as I break out into sweat and pinko skin flushes
still tasted good

>>4416861
>make sure you have some delicious tzaziki

It's really easy to prepare tzatziki yourself in no time. It's no bechamel, after all.

>>4417148
Are you implying bechamel is difficult?

>>4417161

I'm implying it requires more technique to do it properly. Tzatziki is just mixing stuff.

>>4417118
nice. stay manly

>>4416955
That's called "The First Coffee Problem." Doing anything is extra difficult without the first coffee, and that includes making the first coffee.

> Need coffee badly.
> Kettle on.
> Cup, spoon.
> Open cupboard.
> Take teabag, drop into cup, close cupboard.
> Wait, that's not coffee.
> Open cupboard, take teabag, drop into box, close cupboard.
> Wait, still need coffee.
> Open cupboard.
> Take teabag, drop into cup, close cupboard.
> Shit, that's STILL not coffee.
> Carefully remove teabag, open cupboard, place teabag in box. Pause. Think. Remove coffee can, pour coffee.

>>4417173
as is a bechamel

I love corn.
Corn goes with lots of things just fine.
There are foods with which corn does not go fine.

>>4416861
>falafels with tzaziki
You people will ruin anything. Go back to making ramen, please.

>>4416931
>eggplant falafel
Fellow A-rab here, recipe please?

>>4417189
what do you put on it

>>4417045
Not really, it's slightly worse than fresh or dried chili as ingredient for other foodstuffs, not by a significant margin though. Of course you drain all the vinegar.

Thing is, yurop you pay premium for fresh chili as it needs to be imported quite fast. Pickled despite the overhead of jar and vinegar is still cheaper due to longer shelf life. So if you want chili on the cheap, you get pickled.

But I really see no point of making your own.

>>4417194
sauces: zhug and tahini or hummus

>>4417045
Pickled chillies are lovely.

>our shit town finally starts importing\growing celery
>put celery into everything!

Sure, it led to some good discoveries, but goddamn celery taste can spoil a lot.

>>4417209
Rough guide of celery use please?

I still don't use celery in my cooking for fear of spoiling shit. I have no clue how to use it properly.

>>4417250
not that poster, but a few uses:

peel stringy shit off, chop up, add to egg, tuna, chicken, potato salad

pickle with other stuff like cucumbers, carrots, beets, eggs

dice small with onions and carrots, saute to go with damned near anything, and as part of the base for sauces

use tops to garnish salads and tropical salsas with mango and pineapple and whatnot

>>4417190
I consider myself Italian, actually, since I was born in Italy to parentage that is three quarters Italian and a quarter Lebanese Maronite.
I am an Italian citizen and speak Italian. Other than a few words here or there, I neither speak nor understand Arabic, I'm afraid.
Anyway, I'd be happy to share a rough guide for making eggplant falafel. I don't think it's traditionally Arabic food, though. I think eggplant falafel is a Lebanese-Italian food and not Arab, particularly.

Charcoal roast an eggplant.
Clean off its skin.
Purée its flesh.
Add ground peppercorn and minced fresh parsley.
Mix in enough roasted chickpea powder to hold its shape and possibly add some rusk, if necessary.
Add crumbled/grated cheese and/or salt to taste.
Form into patties and dredge through crumb.
Pan fry in olive oil until crisp and heated through.
Serve either hot on marquq with charred bitter peppers (puparuol ro ciumm in the dialect of the part of Italy I'm from), sesame paste and beet-and-lemon-pickled turnip or serve cold on a plate with boiled eggs, hummus and other maza.

> boiling spaghetti for carbonara
> colander in one sink
> absent-mindedly dump spaghetti into the other sink
> it all goes down the garbage disposal

>>4417182
I've done shit like this so many times

>>4417182
Without fail i'll put my ground coffee beans into my mug which has probably has milk in rather than the french press at least once a week and have to start again.

>>4417189
That's obviously not tzatziki. It's obviously tahineh. What are you on about?

I tried to make a sauce with white wine and sour cream once.

I wouldn't recommend.
I mean they both needed using up, but It had to be thrown out.

>>4417182
>>4417602
Why not load up your press with grounds the night before, then add the boiling water that morning?
Alternately, you could do what's done in SEA:
brew extra super strong coffee (like 12-14g of grounds per 100ml of water)
sweeten it as desired
store in fridge

When you want coffee, add some coffee syrup and milk to a glass or mug and enjoy. If you want it hot, heat up the milk first, obviously.

>be a few years ago
>just getting into cooking different ethnic shit, doing lots of cooking "experiments" that may or may not work out
>be sauteing chicken breast in a bunch of stuff, including white wine
>inexplicably decide to put yogurt in the skillet to make it creamier for some dumbfuck stupid reason
>mix it up
>realize the white wine was "white wine with a hint of lemon"
>yogurt curdles
>ACCIDENTALLY make paneer in the same skillet as the chicken
>howthefuckdidIdothat.jpg
>chicken is now rolling around in crumbly bits of wine-soaked paneer
>looks like shit
>eat it anyway
>holy fucking shit, chicken coated in paneer is delicious

everything went better than expected

>>4417542
>Italian
Fair enough, my mistake!

For the crumbled/grated cheese, what kind do you recommend?

>>4417557
....i don't even....*sigh*..... Fuck that was pretty bad.

>making shrimp soup
>seasonings in cheese cloth hanging off the side
>catches on fire
>throw into sink
>fuck

>>4417777
No worries.
Nan used grana or salty ricotta, both Italian cheeses, but only because, she said, she couldn't find salty akkawi. Sweet akkawi: sure. No problem. Salty? Nope.png

And no worries about thinking me an Arab. It's not like it's an insult or anything. It's not like you called me an Albanian. That would be insulting.
I was just clarifying that if you tried to squiggledigook at me, I'll not understand a word of it.

>>4417185
Don't be retarded. Making bechamel can go wrong quickly if you don't pay attention.

>>4417185
Wow, and all this time I've been wasting my time developing actual skills.
Next time I want a bechamel, I'll just throw all the ingredients in a pan at once and just mix.
That should work, right?

>>4416946
Why would you peel a potato?

>>4417859
This.

Only time in my life I've ever peeled a potato was when I was making a shepherd's pie for a potluck dinner, and I wanted the topping to be nice and pretty. Also, the peels went into our compost pile and our chickens, so we'll be eating them eventually, in a way.

OP, that sounds falawful

>>4417874
HAHAHA!

I faloled.

>making Ramen noodles, going to be adding some chicken
>forgot I used my chicken with fajitas a few nights ago
>still craving something meaty with the noodles
>fuck it, I'm adding hotdog

You know that hotdog water that sometimes remains in the packet and drenches the hotdog? That's exactly what the broth tasted like.

>>4417830
Thanks! This sounds really delicious, I'm definitely going to give it a shot.

>Making chicken mole with girlfriend
>She misreads recipe and puts in 4 TBSP chili powder
>The most inedible shit I have ever had

>>4418157
I've never understood how people don't double check these things.

>>4417874

Laughed way harder than I should have.

>>4416988
>>4416946

> 2013
> Not having a bowl next to the cutting board for vegetable scraps.
> Not emptying the scraps into a compost bucket
> Not dumping the full compost bucket onto the compost pile
> Not using sweet, sweet compost to fertilize a garden
> Not using homegrown garden veggies in the house
> Not repeating the cycle
> Shagiggidy

But really, just happened to me yesterday.
> Early morning, as usual
> Make two sandwiches for myself and wife
> Glorious ham and cheese for me, cucumber, cheese, and hummus for the wife
> Accidentally take her sandwich
> She's vegetarian
> Oops.

>>4418267
>2013
>havinga veggie wife

>>4418277

It's excellent. I only have to buy meat for one, when I do buy it. Mostly I eat venison from deer I shot, but when I do buy, I can get high quality meats because I'm only buying for one.

> wife is 28
> vegetarian for 10+ years
> body like a 20 year old
> 2013
> Shiggidy
> olololol
> lolololo
> memememememememe

>>4418267
I gather vegetable scraps like stems of leaf celery, stems of levistico, stems of parsley, carrot peelings, onion noses (I don't know what they're called in English: the little hard ends of onion from which the roots grow) etc in bags in the freezer. When I have a kilogram of scraps (about once every 2-3 months or so), I make vegetable broth.
Om nom nom.
Remember: 1kg of materials yields 1 litre of broth.

Fuck OP, I too have made this decision about falafel mix.
If I had a time machine, I would go back in time and shoot myself in the head three seconds before tasting the horrible abomination that came out of the oven.

>>4418290
Plot twist:
Your wife is your hand and you look like a 20 year-old because you are a basement dweller manchild

I thought you had to open rice in a bag to boil it
I was ten, though. Still feel retarded

>college
>shitty dorm, no room for foods
>have pizza crust, cheese, pepperoni
>pizza time!
>fuck no tomato sauce
>find salsa
>it's tomatos, i'll just have a spicy pizza
>make pizza with salsa
>it's the spiciest fucking thing I've ever eaten
>inedible

I don't know what the fuck happened, I ate that salsa all the time with chips. I guess the heat made the salsa spicier.

>accidentally buy variety of potatoes that is obviously meant for potato mash etc.
>make pyttipanna/pytti i panna/pyttipannu as in the picture, but with food cream added near the end (done it successfully before)
>it becomes a horrid baby food like sludge

>accidentally buy variety of potatoes that is obviously meant for potato mash etc.
>make pyttipanna/pytti i panna/pyttipannu as in the picture, but with food cream added near the end (done it successfully before)
>it becomes a horrid baby food like sludge

Falafel is disgusting.

>>4417899
My boyfriend had this moment, but with spam. Wasn't half bad, and actually kind of good. Just really salty.

>>4417250

Weird, it's super common here. Kids eat it with peanut butter or cheez whiz a lot. In actual cooking it's good chopped up and thrown in soups (usually alongside the onion)

>making brownies from that cheap store bought mix
>no eggs
>really want brownies
>#yolo
>end up with 9x13 thin layer of chocolate goop
>need to spoon it out to eat it
>just tastes like shitty chocolate fudge

never again

>>4422517
fuck i did the same thing but tried to substitute like a faggot. I had no butter so i used banana, but whatever dumbshit recipe i was using told me to use more oil. I ended up with the oiliest goddamn brownies ever. If you tried to eat one off of a paper towel, it would like you just dabbed the top of the pizza.
Worst day. Nothing upsets me quite like shitty brownies.