/ck/ - Food & Cooking

Are you gay or something?

Are you retarded? They're basically asking you out on a cheap date. Give them the dick.

>OMG ANON I MAKE THE BEST SPAGHETTI EVER IN THE WORLD U'LL LOVE IT!!!
>Adds pepperoni to a jar of ragu and cooks the noodles until they practically dissolve in your mouth the instant they touch your tongue

Can women do ANYTHING right?

just make creme brulee you nutter butter
it impresses girls for no reason
its also pretty hard to fuck up

>>4294968
>OMG I MAKE THE BEST COOKIES
>flat, prepackaged cookie dough cookies

>always want me to invite them over and cook with them because they know I'm good at it.
not quite

>>4294956
You are retarded. Seriously.

>>4294976
>>4294968
>Guy brings in brownies to afternoon class for some reason
>OMG these brownies are delish, did you make them yourself!?
>Yeah, I used a box
>Wowwwwwwww you should teach me

>>4295037
Bitches love cookies.

She wants the dick you

FUCKING

NIGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

>>4295049
Oh because she wants the dick he has to give it to her? Is that what you're saying? Because just because a girl wants the dick doesn't mean you have to. Why would you want to give someone the dick who's being annoying about it anyways? Where is this written in the unwritten rules? I can assure you that it's not. Did you write these rules? Did you make them up? You literally wrote somewhere, probably in your dairy, "If a girl begs hard enough for you to fuck her you have to, no matter how annoying or roundabout she is about it." That is why you're stupid. Just because someone wants to dick, doesn't mean you have to. I am seriously considering looking up your IP and hiring a bunch of women to go to your house and annoy the fuck out of you. We'll see who wants the dick then (hint: it's you, you fag).

>>4294968
girl here. dateless kissless virgin. I know how to cook some but this is recent and mostly thanks to cooking runny and /ck/ and living on my own for 3 years. I'm not in any way shape or form a looker so I'm not advertising myself just figured I'd put it out there that I'm not a fuck up at cooking and lots of men eat nothing but hungrymans and and mountain dew or order out.

>>4295054

>>4295054
>Why would you want to give someone the dick who's being annoying about it anyways?

The concept of "Hate fuck" escapes you, doesn't it? Also, if you don't care about it, then you can try out new moves and shit.

Needless to say, yes I too have this "problem." I've actually met some pretty neat people this way.

>>4295058
>lots of men eat nothing but hungrymans and mountain dew
How's high school treating you? I don't know any grown men whose diet consists of frozen meals and Mountain Dew.

>>4295074
my roommates diet consists of bottled water, frozen meals and chipotle

>>4295074
That was basically my uncle's diet in the 90's.

>>4295054
This post made me laugh pretty fucking hard, good job

>yfw your girlfriend knows how to cook and asks you to cook with her because she loves spending time with you

Sure I just end up chopping veggies(she can't chop for crap) but it's still nice

>>4295074
My fucking roommate only eats food he can microwave out of a box and only drinks mountain dew.

>>4295074
>that heartbreaking feel when you spot a grown man with his young child in the grocery store buying an entire cart full of Hungry Man frozen dinners

>>4295074

A friend of mine pretty much just drinks beer and eats frozen burritos and breaded chicken patties.

He occasionally makes tilapia or chicken breasts.. but I don't think it's that often.

Pretty sure he takes in about 1000-1600 calories a day.

>>4295074
My stepbrother only eats things he can microwave and drinks basically only Orange Juice or Diet Pepsi

But he's also mentally retarded and doesn't know how to use a stove or oven, or drive a car among many other things

>>4295211
this used to be me, then I grew up

>>4295191

that's not many calories at all.

Why are there so many college students and bachelors that so terrible at cooking?
It's basically following instructions.

>>4295239
no time
and the fact that any food is good enough
and no money

>>4295239
They don't know how to eat well or cheap, they think that ramen and taco bell are their only options because they were never taught how to cook when they were kids. Seriously, cooking is a fucking useful skill for a college student to have. Better nutrition, which leads to increased ability to focus in class and such, and cheap food (big sack of potatoes, rice, beans, oats, some cheap veggies, and you're set for weeks).

>>4295058
This.
I know more guys who can't cook for shit than girls. My boyfriend's idea of al dente is overcooked mush. The man's 30 and still hasn't figured out how to dice an onion. He cuts into steaks to "check they're cooked".
Then there's this girl I know who insisted she made "THE BEST" scrambled eggs... shit was watery, bland and just plain depressing. She also thinks she's brilliant for coming up with putting tinned spaghetti in a meat pie.

>>4295262
I'm a noob, how do you dice an onion?

>>4294968
>"Since you're cooking dinner, I'll take care of the salad!"
>"Really? It's not any problem."
>"No, I'd like to!"
>shows up with a bag of factory-washed lettuce
>this was the salad
I love cooking for girls, but shit like this...

>>4295271
Cut six flat sides on it and draw the numbers with a sharpie.

>>4295281
>using weak cubes
Faggot. Superior Tetrahedral master race reporting in.

>>4295281
took me a second to get it
you're very funny

>started dating this american chick three weeks ago
>invite her for dinner basically every other day
>make basic stuff and simple combinations of foods
>she is amazed by the simplest dishes and my cooking "knowledge"
>keeps bragging to her friends about me being a master chef
>ohwell.jpg

this happens to me with my girlfriend all the time.
it usually ends up with me getting really frustrated because i am just tired of the bombardment of retarded questions.
>me, let the wine reduce by a 3rd
>her, how long is that?
>me, idk like 5 min
>5min later
>her, did it reduce by a 3rd?
>me, i dont know, you where watching it
>her, well how do i know if its reduced?
>me, did a 3rd of it boil away?
>her i dont know, how much is a 3rd?
>me, just get the fuck out of the way


every god damn time

>>4295291
I'm curious, what things did you make?

>>4295294
You know, simple shit like pressed duck and pate en croute.

>>4295294
>>4295294
spaghetti bolognese, vienna schnitzel, shepards pie, chili con carne, lentil soup, variations of pasta and chicken breast, omelettes, homemade burgers, oatmeal cookies etc.... nothing fancy.

>>4295306
that doesn't sound simple

>>4295024
The hell is happening here?

>>4295310
I cook that shit on a daily basis. What the hell does she eat at home?

>>4295322
As far as I know she usually lives off fast food like Taco Bell, Hardees, Applebees combined with the usual college student diet consisting of hot pockets and other frozen stuff with her favorite drink being Gatorade. I got no idea how she managed to stay in shape.

>>4295335
Man am I glad that my Residence has a pre-paid food plan that doesn't consist of garbage.

I hate girls who ask me to cook for them
>because you're such a good cook, anon!
and then question me/backseat cook the entire time.

>You're adding salt to the pasta water?
>Why is that pan so hot? You sear things on low heat
>Why are you seasoning the steak before you cook it?

>>4295402
>You sear things on low heat
Whatwhatwhaaaaat

>>4295418
I shit you not. Girl was trying to make pepper crusted tuna steaks. She put them in a small, cold pan, and turned the heat on low.
I almost cried.

>Does this happen to anyone else? It's really annoying.

I think you're doing it wrong, OP. You could be using this as a ticket to getting laid all the time.

Not sure what your living situation is, but I live in an apartment just off-campus and don't have any roommates. Quite a few times I've gotten lucky when a girl comes over for cooking lessons, or to try some of my great food that she's heard about.

You know what it takes to get a college girl to put out? Not money, not charm, not a nice car, not a fancy house... all it takes is some cheap White Zinfandel. I always make sure to keep a few bottles in my fridge for just this reason.

>>4295402
why dont you use your trip on here but use it on other boards?

>>4295402
Thanks for reminding me of that webcomic, faget.

>>4295446
That's from a webcomic? I just saved the image.

>>4295441
I don't trip, it's somebody else probably.

>>4295451
Enjoy.
http://comic.naver.com/webtoon/detail.nhn?titleId=350217&no=31

>>4295466
Neat.

>>4295242
>no time
college kids have plenty of time to cook. they're just too lazy.

>>4295262
>tinned spaghetti
what

I'm lazy as fuck with cooking, over 50% of my meals are me chopping things up and putting them in a pot or pan with spices and maybe making rice or pasta to go with it. The rest would be me chopping shit up and putting it in the oven or doing some simple baking.

>WOW anon, another amazing looking meal!
>Everything you make looks so good and healthy!

It makes me sad that people think I'm good at cooking just because I don't eat fast or frozen meals.

>>4295234
I thought that was his point.

That makes me uncomfortable, I always get praised as a chef boyardee at home, even though all I make is a simple roast and beans and cornbread, all it is is chopping ingredients up and putting it in a pot

>>4294956

>>4294956
you forgot to #humblebrag

>>4295839
This nasty shit.

>>4295295
>her i dont know, how much is a 3rd?
stop dating 8 year olds

my wife cannot cook

i do it all

she loves it

>>4295320
bungee jumping, but the rope is edited out

>>4296023
>naturally wheat free
Wh-
What's it made from then?

>>4295295
One of my ex's didn't know how to boil water.
Couldn't even cook a frozen pizza.
She could suck a dick though. YA KNO WHAT I'M SAYIN

>>4298302
>One of my ex's didn't know how to boil water.
>One of my ex's thought it was cute to act like an imbecile.
FTFY

>>4295239
No kitchen or equipment. You can only go so far with a microwave and no sink.