/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>4254774
here is the review if you want it:

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/11/14/dining/reviews/restaurant-review-guys-american-kitchen-bar-in-times-square.html

>a real human being
>and a real hero

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-DSVDcw6iW8

>>4254775
dam that nigga got told

captcha: law ofloll

>>4254774
>>4254775
wow...

literally in tears reading this thread

>>4254774
That can't be real. No way.

>>4254774
>>4254775

This guy is a shitstain but his real website is found here:

http://www.guysamerican.com/

>>4254774
>http://guysamericankitchenandbar.com/
>Panamania

My sides have transcended such limited dimensions as yours.

>>4254774

>>4254851

Jesus Tittyfucking Christ, this menu is an abhorrence, an example of overpriced bullshit. The mind boggles, man... how could someone put together such absolute bollocks?

>>4254775
That review was just fucking painful to read. Every single sentence was a nauseating rhetorical question. They should have their writing privileges revoked and sent back to school.

>ITT /ck/ bashing a guy (lel) they can never hope to match in terms of culinary knowledge and experience

>>4254949
What is it with the no fun allowed crowd tonight?

>>4254949
>defending guy fieri

seriously?

I like Diners, Drive Ins, and Dives. Greasy hole in the wall places are my thing.

>>4254939
thats funny. my college professor actually had us read it aloud in class and hailed it as a great cultural review. He is such an asshat. He liked my review of the new indian joint in town, so I wonder what that says about my own writing...

>>4254939

I second this. Nothing wrong in particular with rhetorical questions, but when your entire review consists of assumed answers, there's a problem.

>>4255176
Yeah, it was terrible and hard to read. I can't stand Guy, but I'd rather watch him then read that review.

>>4254775
Someone has been waiting to unleash their hate for Guy. I hate Guy, but this review reeks of pent-up hate.

as a /mu/tant as well,
>Captain Beefheart
>my sides are now more destroyed than an early garnish in Ramsay's kitchen

As funny as the fake menu is, the REAL menu is just as horrifying.

>>4255078
that show is good, at least the places Guy goes to, but he gets on my nerves even on that show, and his cooking shows are just fucking unbearable.

Also, I frequent one of the diners he went to, and the owner loves telling regulars the stories of how big a tool Guy was in real life.

>>4255257
I think I like the fake menu better

>>4255257
WTF? 'Donkey Sauce' is an actual thing? What in The actual FUCK?

>>4255257
This must be a joke. It's like TGI Friday's with jacked up prices.

>>4255301
http://www.macheesmo.com/2012/11/homemade-donkey-sauce/

>>4255257
What the fuck. I don't even. Is he trying to open a chain? Or is he actively trying to get people to not take him seriously?

$7 for fucking french fries.
I know it's times square and all, but seriously,
WTF

>>4255340
>>4255340
7 dollars for fries is pretty standard in manhattan

>>4255348
>7 dollars for fries is pretty standard in manhattan
lol sign me up

>>4255348
come on, even the fancy-ass burger places in SoHo with sommeliers only charge $6 for their basic fries.

The places that overcharge in Times Square are all the national chains, since they know they have the Akron crowd roped in when they are too aftraid to try anything new.... one time after a show at BB King's I was so fucking hungry that my friend and I decided it wasn't worth leaving the restaurant and we actually payed $19 each for Applebees cheeseburgers.
>tfw thinking back to that night

>>4255368
>burger places with sommeliers
Okay, that's pretty fucking funny.

>>4255257
$7 Fries

That was the most annoying review I've ever read.

>>4255371
http://www.burgerandbarrel.com/

I wish I was kidding

here is a video of him responding to the review
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/11/15/guy-fieri-pete-wells_n_2137105.html

>>4255399
according to their website, they only charge $5 for fries

I like Guy and Diners, Drive Ins and Dives, I don't find him annoying I can find the comedy in his utter ridiculousness. But that review is even more hilarious.

that restaurant was made for tourists who want to go stare at other tourists when they are in NYC. Yeah the review was bad but the sentiment was pretty spot on.

>>4255401
"we're not perfect but we're trying!"

Sorry bro, but you throw your name on there and you charge what you do for the food, it better be fucking perfect.

>>4255462
Oh dear god could this dude toot his own horn any more than he does?

I'm so glad I never had to work with him when the restaurant I was working for was trying to get on DDnD.

>>4255462
>Sorry bro, but you throw your name on there and you charge what you do for the food, it better be fucking perfect.
That doesn't make sense.

>>4255471
>replying to your own post
what are you trying to do?

>>4255486
Was an addendum. Forgot about the Edit/Delete function.
>>4255484
tl;dr expensive food, well known chef, better be worth the price

"with a side of Bud Light you have to wring out of a Hawaiian shirt"

>>4254774

The reviewer really overkills it.

>>4254774
>Extra wet naps $3.50

>>4254939
It's probably accurate, but yeah, it was fucking annoying to read.

>>4255310
Didn't Guy basically get started at TGI Fridays? I remember seeing some commercials for them with him.

>>4254774
At first I misread this as meaning that a review in the New York Times noted that his restaurant has been physically destroyed.

>>4254774
Yeah, but the person who made that stole jokes off Twitter.

>>4257630
>http://guysamericankitchenandbar.com/
i think he won a food network reality show or something to be a corporate shill for TGI Friday.

>>4255257

Drop all the prices about $5 and he could have a fairly successful chain restaurant.

I'm not American, but it's fairly clear he's playing a character, right?

His recipes are pretty good, though.

>>4260637

It started off as a character, but now a lot of people actually buy it and believe he's a reputable critic/chef. They're probably the same people who think American Idol winners are real musicians.

>>4260670

Dude, look at his fucking tattoos. Nobody fakes that hard.

>>4260670
also I think after people kept taking him seriously, he started to believe his own bullshit... hence that atrocious, overpriced menu.

>>4254774
Bet pic related is smirking his ass off right now.

>>4254774
>The whole "Hobo Lobo Bordello Slam Jam" Appetizer
>Donkamole
might childish as fuck but
>Guy's Big Balls
My sides are now in the Andromeda Galaxy

>>4260680

i lol'd a hearty lol

>Football: The Meal. Warm broken hamburgers, served in a clear plastic bag enclosed in a larger, black trash bag. Thrown at you from 40 yards.

I can't stop laughing.

>>4260670
You know he has some shitty cooking show with Rachel Ray where they judge other people's cooking? He absolutely has started to take himself too seriously.

>>4261019
>mfw Gilbert Gottfried was on that show for an episode

It was fucking amazing, everyone else cooked relatively good stuff and he made peanut butter and jelly.

He tied with another contestent to be voted off, so they had to have a sudden death battle.

He made peanut butter and jelly again.

>>4261026
I only saw one episode, and for the challenge round or whatever the fuck they had to make a hot dog. And get this, the loser lost because he used an Italian sausage even though the other person just made a hot dog with a slice of cheese that didn't even melt with a side of deep fried potatoes that were supposed to be potato chips. The show, judges, and contestants are all absolute retards.

>>4255257
>winner winner chicken dinner

My sides have achieved escape velocity. Only Guy would put this on a real menu unironically.

>>4261026
Oh god, that was too funny. I can't help but think that he was trolling them all.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dtKJi996No0

Guy Fieri is my hero.

>>4254774
> a real human being and a real hero
oh god my sides