/ck/ - Food & Cooking

tripfags
adults who still believe in imaginary friends (aka religious people)

vegans
coffee snobs
hipsters

>>4112763
>adults who still believe in imaginary friends (aka religious people
2edgy

OP

>>4112764
>>>/reddit/
>>4112768
>>4112768

>>4112759
Yup, the fact you can pay to remove reviews...

>>4112773

how much?

yelp is handy as fuck.

Haters gonna hate.

>>4112778
Email them, i know a few business owners that have gotten reviews removed.

>>4112759
God I remember when Ramsay had yelp's top california reviewer on Hell's Kitchen. I looked her up later on yelp to see if her reviews were any good and, apart from an ego the size of jupiter, the only thing remarkable about the bitch was her utter and complete inability at writing long sentences.

>>4112790
Yelp is awful. Heres your typical yelp review;

I went to this place. The chef was friendly, the food was great, and the decor was excellent. But I'm fat as fuck and couldn't find a parking spot close enough to the restaurant, so two stars out of five, would not recommend.

>>4112829
Not-even-close

Try again.

>>4112759

Anyone who has ever posted on /ck/

>>4112840
so you?

http://youtu.be/3O1sk3jA2Lk

>>4112870
maybe because I'm on my period, but that made me cry

>>4112866
Yes.

>>4112892
and me

Types of yelp reviews:

The Sentimental
>Not many good places eat in this part of town and hey, it's a good deal! This place has been here for years. If you're in X-city, you need to eat here.

The pretentious
>I can appreciate the culture this place brings to a dreary strip mall, however the espresso was not perfect and it was too cold by the time we were served.

The One-bad-time
>The cashier was not welcoming at all. We waited over five minutes for drinks and my silverware had water spots on them.

I use yelp mostly as a directory.

Generally if the review starts off with nitpicking about something minor, you should ignore the rest of it.

The pretentious sorts who seek to lord their experiences over you, despite it being out of place. I don't care if you've been to Milan, you're in a Target Starbucks in Ala-fucking-bama ordering a gingerbread latte; quit talking about how Italian espresso is, "So much more flavorful."

Well, I’ve never even eaten here…….so why, you ask, do I even bother to rate this place? Because I did walk in here, sit down, and read the menu. Then I looked at my friends and said, “There’s no way I can eat this.” It was all grease and fat and a whole buncha yuck jumbled together. NO WAY. I’m just not into that kind of eating or food combinations…..so NOT appealing to me. So we left….yet, it’s a local institution of sorts. Oh well
—

1-star review of Roscoe’s House of Chicken and Waffles (Hollywood) by Claudia B.

Our head waiter was very good and did very well to check up on us for drinks and water, however when it came to some of the dishes he seemed to not know the answer one too many times. I am not talking about specific ingredients or wine pairings, but simple questions like where the butter came from or how many counts in the espresso.


1-star review of Providence by Kenny K.

>>4112767
17edgy93me

I like to assume that no one leaves a review when they like something and that the good reviews are fake accounts.

Now, this isn't true at all. Customers do leave good reviews all the time. I am one of them.

What I'm trying to say is that you should just quit being a faggot and try things yourself. It's the only way to ever know.

One of the highest-rated Greek restaurants in my city uses those pre-sliced gyro patties. The hummus is the consistency of split pea soup. You can drink it, but you wouldn't want to.

What's even more frustrating is that most people go there for breakfast and cheeseburgers which they also suck at. I don't understand people.

Fuck this gay Earth.

>>4112930
>>4112935

These are hilarious. Maybe waiters do deserve their tips afterall.

>>4112935
>where the butter came from or how many counts in the espresso.

>>4112950
>locally sourced
>22

There were people outside in their pajamas. How difficult is it to change into street clothes? That just ghettoed the place. My brother brought 2 donuts from donut man and nobody ate them. We all said ew. Its just a donut.

1-star review of The Donut Man by Michelle C.

People that take pictures of their food. They're most likely the same people that post on yelp though.

>people who give a place one star just to post "it's closed now"

PRETENTIOUS and ANNOYING Reservation Confirmation System!

Haven't eaten here yet. Supposed to eat here tomorrow. Might change the plan.

Got a voicemail from Natalie to confirm my reservation for tomorrow. Seemed more like a threat! Less than 24 hours to re-confirm (after already booking and receiving a confirmation email) OR ELSE!

The OR ELSE is that you lose your table! All this wrapped in a tone of the Girl and the Goat is doing YOU a favor to let you eat here!

Please!

Called the manager to discuss. Decent enough guy but basically said - yeah we have no idea really how to manage the reservation system - there are some problems.

I get it - you want to fill your restaurant and keep it full BUT - the overall perspective seemed aggressive and greedy!

Based on this experience, who gives a rat's ass about the food.
wut

Yelp is full of young Asian chicks, hipsters and picky eaters.

If you just ignore it, it's a useful tool to figure out what you wanna eat.

I just read:
>I prefer sides that are more authentic and unique

>authentic and unique

1 Star review on a place with almost all 4s and 5s

I wasn't a fan of Boiling crab at first since my first experience was the whole shebang mild sauce by the recommendation of my g.f. (she loves it) and because of all of the reviews. However after going off on my own taste buds and trying the lemon pepper mild I am hooked.

The reason for the bad review is that the take out service is god awful.

We went on a Friday evening for pick up service, not only was our order wrong but the food was cold. I know that it was half an hour before they closed but that's no excuse to rush our food out cold. The order was "prechecked" and repeated back to me. When we arrived home, and sat down to enjoy what I thought was going to be a great dinner...IT WAS ALL WRONG. I ordered my favorite lemon pepper but instead got Cajun, I also added two corns but none were in the bag. Did I mention our food was cold. I tried to call the location, however I wasn't able to reach anyone and all it did was state the hours of operation and hang up. So what happens to 2 bags of food? Trash...

A yelp review of Saravana Bhavan in Vancouver:

>We get some metal trays which is what I suspect they use in prisons. I ask for plates and the waitress comes back with more metal trays! Meanwhile they get the food order wrong, they totally forget to bring my wife's wine, etc, etc.

If you go to a South Indian restaurant you will most likely get metal trays or banana leaves. If you're ordering wine at Saravana Bhavan you're doing it wrong.

Fuck, I hate yelp reviewers.

>>4113018

That's what happens when you order "take-out" from a primarily sit-down place.

I'm reading one place's 1 star reviews and like 8 of them have been because they showed up after the place closed for the day.

Yelp reviewers summed up nicely:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QEdXhH97Z7E

>>4113018

gb2 orange county

i do yelp reviews, primarily to help out local businesses that I think deserve more customers so most of my reviews end up being 4s and 5s. does that make me a faggot?

Yelp only exists so asshole customers can try to blackmail restaurants into giving them free food by threatening to leave bad reviews (and also so Yelp can blackmail you by removing good reviews unless you pay them).

Little do they know, the restaurant gives less than zero fucks.

>>4113022
Unless tourists, wouldn't they about that by now? I mean Vancouver is full of Asians.

The neighborhood of this place has a 50k median income.

>First off, the neighborhood is TERRIBLE. It really is, I have no idea why nobody seems to mention the fact that this place is in the GHETTO in their reviews. I parked on the street (Uh, hello, a parking lot would be nice) about a half a block down from this 'restaurant' (if you can call it that) and was literally scared to death to walk, even that far in this area, with my kids. I walk up and see that there is a line, I FOOLISHLY thought someone would be kind enough to let me up into the front of the line, since I HAD MY KIDS and all, but no, of course. The best part was I was treated like some kind of monster for even trying. SO SORRY FOR TRYING TO KEEP MY KIDS SAFE, ok? We waited a good 15 minutes and the line was moving so slowly that my kids started getting restless and that was it, we left. Complete disaster, ZERO stars, will NEVER go back. Thanks for nothing.

>>4113031
He's quoting a 1 star review...

>>4113039
No I don't think he was a tourist. His picture made him out to be a middle-aged white professional.

>>4113041
Holy shit. Where is this? I want to smack this bitch.

>>4113047
Here's another review from her

>We waited close to 35 minutes JUST TO BE SEATED and I'm sorry but that's just unacceptable. Why do they allow it to get so busy and crowded? Someone is NOT doing their job. The hooker....oh sorry, WAITRESS stared at my husband the whole time, flirting with him. It was obvious and when I complained about it to the 'manager' he laughed at me. I will NEVER be back to this disgusting trash pit.

>>4113041
I've waited an hour for dinner before and this lady is complaining about 15 minutes.

>>4113041

I was once told to go into the heart of Newark to try some really good pastrami from one of the last surviving Jewish delis.

Worth it.

>>4113050
>>4113041

Link?

>>4113050
one more, this is for a farm.

>Let me just say that I was very much looking forward to a trip to Lamb's Farm with my 2 year old son Bryce and his 'stepsister', who was conceived during a previous relationship my husband had with a woman much younger than himself. Of course this woman is 'unable' (I say unwilling) to care for her own child, so we get to clothe and feed and raise her child for her. Thank you Illinois legal system, just what we needed.
Let me start my review by saying that Lamb's Farm could not possibly be more inconveniently located, we drove for what felt like hours before we finally found it. Would it kill them to move somewhere not in the middle of nowhere? I don't even know if we were still in Illinois, to be honest. No wonder there was hardly anyone there!
After parking in their pothole strewn lot, which could not have possibly looked more ghetto, with the cheap plastic garbage cans, filthy traffic cones(do they EVER clean them?) and fading yellow parking lines (Paint it like 5 dollars, why can't you re-paint the lines so people don't feel like they are in the ghetto?) of course my husband's child started acting up, annoying everyone in the car asking about what animals we would see and can she pet them and blah blah blah (I warn you, if you have problem children, they WILL ask about the animals, there are signs EVERYWHERE) We decided it would be for the best if she stayed behind in the car for the first few hours until she learned to behave. As my child and I were walking into the farm (if that's what you wanna call this place) a man who was working there had the NERVE to question me about leaving the girl in the car. LIKE IT'S ANY OF HIS BUSINESS.

>>4113056
http://www.yelp.com/user_details?userid=UYWJEOdMMs0Ixnn4lMaW8Q

>>4113061
After explaining to him the situation, showing that we had left the windows cracked and that she was fine, he STILL gave us attitude and even threatened to call the police on us if we left her in the car. THIS IS HOW THEY TREAT THEIR CUSTOMERS AT LAMB'S FARM.
I was not going to let the day be ruined for Bryce, after we drove so far, so we were forced to taker her into the park as well.
It was an absolute nightmare. The place looks like a garbage dump, there were hardly any animals available for petting, the ones they did allow us to pet, they would not allow us to pet the animal somewhere private. Bryce has social anxiety issues, (brought on, no doubt, by his confusion over the 'stepsister' issue ) He has a MEDICAL NOTE from a doctor and they still would not let us bring the animals into a private room to pet them away from the other children. DISGUSTING AND DISCRIMINATORY against someone with a MEDICAL DISABILITY.
I noticed a lot of the people working there looked bored and that bad attitude spoiled what little fun we could have had. I got the feeling a few were making fun of us, even, making faces and talking to us in weird voices, asking us strange questions. I to9ld one of the managers that I thought some of his workers may have been smoking pot or drinking and he looked at me like I was out of line or something. He just said 'I highly doubt that' all high and mighty. WELL EXCUSE ME I'M ONLY A PAYING CUSTOMER. I guess I'm just not 'hip and cool' enough to think drug use is anything other than disgusting and criminal. If that podunk hillbilly town the 'Farm' was in even has a police force, they should seriously look into this. SOMETHING strange going on there.
The only thing I could say I enjoyed was the Chicken Pot Pie in the Cafeteria, it was absolutely amazing and I do plan on returning with my husband (no kids this time, what a headache!) to try it again very soon.

>>4113061

The word you're looking for is "half-sister", lady.

>>4113061
>>4113065
This has to be a joke.

I cannot believe this is sincere.

>>4113076
>implying you want to go to a farm that doesn't wash their parking cones

At least she found a new hubby.

>>4113081
>actually using the word "hubby"
1 star, wouldn't read again

>>4113065

>The only thing I could say I enjoyed was the Chicken Pot Pie in the Cafeteria, it was absolutely amazing and I do plan on returning with my husband (no kids this time, what a headache!) to try it again very soon.

My sides

>>4113087
>mfw it was probably prepackaged and heated pot pies they could get at a grocery store

This review made me laugh.

>I really liked this place when I was stopping into Phoenix, but will go in there no longer. The food and the decor are good (and very complementary), but I can't get away from the rape-y way an off-duty bartender made me feel.
>I am not gay, nor do I feel any animosity toward people with any differing sexualities. But, when I say no to a dude (I'm VERY hetero), I MEAN no. And when I know the guy works there and the rest of the staff leaves me there alone with him in an aggressive state, I feel EXTREMELY uncomfortable.
Nice food, nice booze. nice service. But the trust is lost. I am afraid to ever come back again without some sort of back-up.

I once wrote a Yelp review for the local pizza place. It was all about how awful the experience was. First of all, they blast Fox News Channel at full volume on all of their TV's from open to close. The employees have loud arguments about politics with customers. And there is a big sign in the back of the restaurant with a picture of "joker Obama" (you know, the picture that combines Obama and Heath Ledger joker) that reads "Hey Obama, where's MY stimulus check?" So I write a Yelp review mentioning all these things, and about a month later, I go back for pizza. (Only place around for a mile). The manager has a sign at the counter that reads "If you have a problem with this establishment, talk to the manager instead of cowardly posting a review online". Never again, Yelp.

>>4113116
I would have waited a week and then posted another review online about that.

“I hated this place! So Dusty (I hooked up w/ him :-)), the door guy, like, totally promised to get me on the list, and when I showed up he was all like, “We’re full.” We’re full? Excuse me? Pencil-d*ck motherf-cker. But Trish and Kimmy started flirting with one of the barbacks who was outside having a smoke and totally got us in. LOL. So we’re inside having a great time and this guy comes over and starts talking to Trish and she’s laughing and having a good time and then this guy says he owns the place. And we’re all like, “awesome! We love it here!” And he invites us up into his office and we ask if he has any blow and he takes out an eight ball and we all get sooo f-ing high. But I think it was laced with something because we all woke up like five hours later and I have a bunch of bruises on my thigh… Essence Bar sucks! They will drug and molest you!”

http://www.yelp.com/biz/regal-cafe-pizzeria-boston-2

>>4113116
>Yet he still goes running to post on Yelp like a little bitch instead of talking with owner

>>4113116
Why do you even care? It's his business - and clearly he's not going to change it for you. Just get takeout or go to another pizza joint. I'm not a conservative and I would probably find those guys annoying, but again, it's his business.

Fuck, you sound annoying.

>>4113152

I'm wondering why he cared enough to write the review on Yelp, but not enough to talk to the owner or manager. That doesn't make any sense to me.

I don't work in the restaurant trade, but I do own my own business. Sometimes I am mystified why customers who have problems don't simply ask me for help. I'm happy to help! I'm not pyschic, so I don't know if you have a problem unless you bring it to my attention. It is frustrating when people write negative comments without even giving the business a chance to fix the problem. I'm willing to bet that this is a similar situation.

>>4113158
I think it's because usually managers don't take your criticisms seriously. They just roll their eyes figuratively speaking, nod profusely, but nothing really changes. Maybe because they're used to dealing with retards, so they go into auto mode.

>>4113172
This. The owner wasn't going to change anything. So you write a review hoping to spare others the same shitty experience.

>I was not pleased.

1-star review

>>4113158
If you want people to honestly rate your business, leave out comment cards and have a comment box. That way, you'll get comments without them dealing with you and the bonus is you don't have to take time out to deal with them either. This also works for employee. Sometimes, you just want to complain about some things but don't want the favoritism or drama to affect your work.

>>4113158
the point of the review was to explain the atmosphere to people, because the atmosphere might feel unwelcoming to many people

talking to the manager wouldnt have accomplished the same thing

>>4113115

>Ever going to Arizona
>Ever

That's your problem

Love when people rip fast food places apart, what the fuck did you expect? A fucking blowjob?

1 Star:

Hard to believe so many people love this place. Wendy's used to have a commercial-Where's the Beef--that should be In-N outs motto-the potato chip thin burgers have no flavor- smoother anything in thousand island dressing and it taste the same!
Anyone who has gone through the drive thru--worst 30 minutes of my life--gets to experience cold fries
This place is over rated
PS--I do like the grilled onions

5 Star for some other shit


Emily and Melissa were great
My dog does like like people including me--LOL but warmed up to both the girls who did an excellant job with a bath and grooming.
What a pleasurable experience and they come right to the house!!
Highly recommended

>excellant

>>4113116
I don't patronize businesses that play fox news. I've stopped going to a barber, a bagel shop, and a deli because of it. I didn't stop going to my barber until some middle eastern guy came in to ask for directions and my barber made a comment like "he should get back on his fucking camel and get out of here" or something like that. He always had fox news on.
>>4113143
What are you going to say?
>>4113158
The chair wasn't wobbly, they had conservative propoganda all over the place.

here are some reviews from a health food store i've been to. i have no problem with the place so this shit cracks me up. There was a review by a black woman who accused the owner of being racist once, but I can't find it.

http://www.insiderpages.com/b/3717849667/eds-health-food-hackettstown
>I have gone to Ed's several times. There is an elderly couple who work there full time. The man is obnoxious, mean, and sarcastic. Yesterday he threw my products back onto the shelf when I didn't want them, and when I was in the parking lot he opened the door and spit as he looked me in the face. I had told him how much he upset me while I was in the store and that I would never return. Absolutely shocking!

>>4113212

Obviously the reviewer felt unwelcome. However if he had explained that to the manager then perhaps the manger might have fixed the problem.

Far better to fix the problem than to allow it to persist and do nothing about it.

>>4113242
If they're letting workers argue loudly with the patrons, I doubt this manager is even a good one.

>As it turns out, they cook the black beans in lard. Vegetarians beware.

This is literally the entirety of 1 star review.

>people who bitch about hot dog stands being cash only

>>4113276
It's not that hard to set up a merchant account. Problem is that they aren't sure how much they'll make off credit card sales, and thus they don't want to take the chance of accepting credit cards and ending up owing more than they earned.

I bitch when it's not plainly obvious that it's cash only.

>>4113253

Sure, the manager might not give a shit. That's possible. But perhaps he does care and simply doesn't know his employees are fucking around behind his back, or he may not realize that someone finds fox news to be offensive. That exact situation happened on one of the Kitchen Nightmares UK episodes. The employees were fucking around while the owner was out and he had no idea about what was going on. Once they showed him the surveillance tapes he sorted the situation out right away.

The issue is this: If you have a problem with the service from a business, why not complain to the business so they can make things right? At least give them a chance to fix the problem.

>>4113276
I ran into a hot dog stand that took cards the other day while Christmas shopping.

It was glorious.

I never carry cash around so I usually have to miss out on stuff like that.

>>4113327
Wow. I would go in right away. That sign would work on me.

>>4113474
Same.

I'm a sucker for that kind of advertisement. I once saw a haircutter's while visiting London called "Why Not? Haircutters" and I had to force myself not to go in and get my hair cut.

>>4113041
If she's so worried about her "precious children" then maybe she should've kept her legs closed.

Yelp:

I would not recommend eating here, my friend use to work there as a waitress and she says the kitchen is so dirty and cockroaches are constantly getting into food and the chief just picks them out.

I was reading online reviews of some of my favorite restaurants and was a little surprised how harsh people can be on even decent restaurants.

>>4113503
>chief
my sides are exiting the drive through

>>4113047
http://www.yelp.com/user_details?userid=UYWJEOdMMs0Ixnn4lMaW8Q

>>4113108

>>4113137
jeuss christ

The bad reviews for this place are kind of funny. It sounds like a shady spot.

http://www.yelp.com/biz/downeys-restaurant-philadelphia#hrid:jPP2Mb23vt5c3oTkoxNAOw

>>4113751
That place was on Bar Rescue I think.

Yahoo Answers

I actually wonder if those people realize that they don't HAVE to answer everything. Considering all the "Lolidunno" and "MAYBE U SHOULD" answers

Gross

>>4112829
I've seen one of my favorite places get a low review because someone's kids were too loud

Fucking hilarious

I've found Yelp to be extremely helpful since I moved to an area where I've never lived nor been before. However, I agree that 75% of the reviewer/reviews are fucking moronic pieces of shit. I just use my common sense when I read reviews, because it's really easy to tell when someone's just a douchebag who thinks the world revolves around them, and when someone actually has had a genuinely good or bad experience.

>>4113814
As someone who used to work for Yahoo and thus started reading Y news and Y answers. Holy fuck did we have some of the stupidest, most ignorant, fucked up racist morons in the country.

>>4113852
/b/ is right next door if you want to see even worse

The other week the family and I were looking for a new sushi place since the usual joint was closed for the day. We found a promising location on Yelp, and it was well reviewed, except for one flagrant low ranked review. It was the only review I read. Dear lord.

- He ordered teriyaki and one roll of sushi
- He complained that it wasn't an "authentic roll", and the fish wasn't fresh, but the fish was FOBer than the chef and nigiri and sashimi were right there on the menu.
- He bitched because the help didn't greet him and seat him; apparently they greeted him and allowed him to choose a seat instead.

By the way, it was a fantastic restaurant. Sushi-san was a kick ass dude too.

>>4113878
Also, the usual place had a bad review by someone who sat at the teppan grill and complained that the show wasn't fancy enough and that $12.99, down from $14.99, was too expensive for her order. I'm surprised that whatever she ordered was that cheap at all, unless she got a fucking appetizer or something. Some people.

>>4113878
>- He bitched because the help didn't greet him and seat him; apparently they greeted him and allowed him to choose a seat instead.

That's why he didn't like the food. It seems like a lot of unusually harsh reviews about the food at a place everyone likes has some sort of retarded nitpicky thing like that. And of course they'll exaggerate everything else due to it.

I saw a shitty review once

Someone said they didn't like my favorite place

made me pissed

i hate it when people dont like what I like

>>4113917
bump

>>4113878
Did the reviewer preface it with "I don't like sushi, but..."

Because there's a spookily similar review for one of my fave local sushi places here, that also has a sushi-san (who hands out free pocky and brandishes a giant campy knife forcing people to confess their love to each other).

What's fun is checking out a place that has a Groupon deal. Groupon customers are the fucking worst, plus you get the added bonus of restaurants who aren't prepared for the sheer volume that groupons can bring in.

>This place sucks...and if you want more details, read further.

By far, one of the worst sushi place I've ever been. We had a voucher that we bought from Dealfind and that's how we found out about this place. Apparently, they will only accept so many vouchers a day so we had to make a reservation and the earliest was 2 weeks away. Are you kidding me? 2 week reservation? This better be good.
>[...]
>The salmon sashimi was way too thin and the other sashimi was ice cold. [...] Unagi was a fairly large piece which is good to some people but personally, I like my unagi pieces to be small and my sashimi to be large (they have it the other way around). Even the soy sauce was too salty and they definitely use the powdered wasabi. I did not enjoy anything we ordered.

>This place looked like a diner. There's really no Japanese feel to it. Sure the chefs were in their Japanese attire but who are you fooling? The plates and such are shell shaped? What are we in a seafood restaurant?

>[...]

>I also felt rushed when we were there. Sure it's busy but let me enjoy my food. I don't want to feel like I'm being pushed out because some other voucher user is coming. I don't recommend this place to anyone but if you have a voucher, don't go over the limit. It's not worth spending extra money on.

>Will I come back? Hell no = 0 Star

>>4113137
How is this place in business?

>>4113955
what a spergy review

>>4113928
nope.

>>4112829
>>4113832
I was looking up reviews for Cinebistro earlier and someone complained about there being teenagers and younger children....at a fucking movie theater. The food was great and the place itself was nice but they gave it 3/5 stars because they hate children (yes, they actually said this).

>>4113917
Is that what you think we're complaining about, that people don't like what we like? Or are you just being stupid

>>4112759
it's good for laughs, and is honestly one of the places i bring up why online reviews by random people mean nothing to me. some people expect waayy too much and tend to nit pick over the smallest details. no one gives a fuck about you jessica r from Encinitas, CA and even less people give a fuck what you think about what you think about the lumber yard tavern and grill.

>a subway review:

Perhaps Subway has promoted the $5 subs for too long, and they no longer have the dough to shell out for AC? While it is negotiable, I'd rather not know what it feels like to step inside an oven, thank you.

Besides that, the service is loud. I guess they think they need to make sure to yell over the heat waves so we can hear them. Except that they don't. And if she asked me one more time, "Anything else?", I swear I would have lost it.

I should also mention, my sandwich kinda sucked too. Awesome.

>yelling to be heard over the heat??!?
>she kept asking me anything else? can you imagine she wanted to make sure i got everything i wanted???Q?

I was so excited to try some real ramen tonight I ran out of the car and into the restaurant while the SO finished parking the car. The waitress saw me and asked how many. I help up two fingers and said two. Then my SO walked in the door. She took one look at his "ghost" face and suddenly there were no tables available. Apparently the two empty tables were for reservations. She said that maybe if a table opened up at 8:30, she "might" seat us, but that that was last call and she couldn't guarantee anything. I was pretty steaming, but SO walked over to the waitress who had disappeared to the back of the restaurant. He asked her when the reservations were for and she said 8pm (half an hour away). He asked if they didn't show up, if we could have one of the tables and she replied that she'd call them if they didn't show up.
Nice to know Yuzu that you're keeping racism alive and well into the 21st Century.

>compusa review, 2 stars:

The prices aren't that great at all! I was surprised to see items cost more here then they do at the competitors like best buy or even Walmart! Shame on them! I have no idea why this place is still in business.

>same person, best buy review 1 star

Beyond the numerous horror stories people might have heard / told I think the service at this place is below average, the prices are a little high for the quality and the selection is not as good as I'd expect for an electronics store. Unfortunately, there is not much competition locally (except Walmart or Target) so they do fairly well.

>comp usa costs more than best buy
>prices are a little high at best buy
>best buy has no competition
>comp usa is less than 2 miles from best buy, and used to be across the street
>what the fuck is this bitch smoking???

>>4113065
>http://www.yelp.com/user_details?userid=UYWJEOdMMs0Ixnn4lMaW8Q
>0 friends

How true.

>>4112930
roscoes
one star
roscoes
one star
MOTHERFUCKING
ROSCOES
ONE STAR
WHO IS THIS
WHERE DO THEY LIVE

Yelp is awesome. Stop being pretentious faggots.

>>4113096
beautiful review, not sure why you posted it in this thread, it's 100% truthful.

>>4114563
its poorly written and an example of why not everyone should just be able to review anything. while i'm not the grammar nazi yelling at you when your using you're instead of your, the poor grammar makes me wonder if i should give a fuck what you think.

and also when he insists on using language i'm sure he knows he shouldn't use on the site to try to describe something so i have no idea what just happened. i'm assuming the reviewer was saying he said don't spit on my food please and the cook said i'd like to see you try that you pussy? tha makes no sense, the chef wants to see the guy not spit in his food?

yeah, i may be some drunk uneducated idiot prick talking shit and ripping shit appart just like him but i'm doing it on 4chan not doing it with the the reputation of a business at stake. but even if the shit talking employees and rocks in his food is true it sounds like he deserves it. he kinda sounds like a dick.

>>4113065
This is the bitch and who I'm assuming is her faggotass husband.

>>4113041
>>4113050
>>4113061
>>4113065

Oh god, someone post more reviews like this please, i'm looking but i can't find any as amazing as these gems

>>4113120
What the fuck, did someone seriously write this? Link?

My favorite thing is when people review shit like post offices or cab companies. They're always 1 star but it's not like it even matters - nobody is going to read that shit.

Or reviews for restaurants in Chinatown where people are like EVERYONE WAS SO RUDE TO ME AND THE PLACE WAS DIRTY I SAW MICE. Well, yeah, it's CHINATOWN. The food is delicious so shut up.

>>4113061
>mfw

>>4113065
>>4113061

The other reviews from lamb farms are gold.

>What a depressing Place! The animals are in bad shape, the ducks in particular. I think the ducks were dying. We took my daughter out of there pretty quick. The question is should I call someone about this? It seems illegal.

THE DUCKS WERE DYING.

I absolutely adore the reviews for my local Dairy Queen that's been around for some 20 years.

>Very very dirty. The store front light didn't work. Once inside, I saw behind the counter and they literally looked muddy. A Guy came.from the back and his pants looked the same. I can't imagine this place being up to health code. Sadly disappointed.

>>4115584

He's probably right. The dirty diner near my work has been there since the late cretaceous, and they basically get a B on every inspection no matter how clean they are, because the food prep area was built before the laws they have today. It's still popular as fuck because it's delicious, cheap, comforting, and friendly.

>>4115584
Another
Overall Poor to fair
this was horrible! do not ever eat here!!! I went here for the first time craving a shake.... the shake was watery. My partner ordered the shrimp basket. We paid and sat down. They then came to us like 5 minutes later telling us that there was no shrimp. So, she ordered a grilled chicken sandwhich. We got our order. Her sandwhich was still FROZEN!!! My hot dog was OLD and the bread was HARD! I did complain. They told me that there was no number that I could call and the manager was the one cooking. I am so upset about this...... I will find someone to call... You can get someone sick from uncooked meat like that.

>>4113065

>mfw

>>4112759
I need more of these reviews. I'm dying DYING!

>>4115642
>bread
what a breadfag

>>4113065
>>4113061
>>4113050
>>4113041


HOLY FUCKING SHIT. I haven't lol'd so hard in weeks holy fuck this can't be real

>MY SON HAS SOCIAL ANXIETY AND THEY REFUSED TO TAKE THE ANIMALS INTO A PRIVATE ROOM

My sides

>>4116643

I want to slap that bitch upside the head so hard her eyes cross, jesus christ

>>4116696
It's fake... you sad autists. Didn't your parents love you and teach you how to detect hyperbole/sarcasm/irony?

>>4113032
yelp removes reviews if restaurants don't pay?

>>4113026
thanks my sides are now in orbit

>This place may be good, but I walked over there and was standing outside the door as she locked it at 9:58 pm on a Saturday night. Alright, I get it, she was tired I shoulda gotten there earlier blabla but when I begged her to unlock the door she just shook her head and said it was 10:01. Oops, nope, it was 9:58 as I showed her my phone. Then she just broke eye contact and continued to count her tips. Okay. Lady, if I'm like the last one there, and there isn't a line of 500 people behind me, it's not a big deal to open the door and impress one customer than closing the door and majorly pissing her off. I've worked in customer service for years and even when it was time to close down, it makes more sense to let that last person in than save yourself the minute and a half and making a lasting (negative) impression. Plus her glasses were stupid looking.

>>4116745
>mad others are enjoying/raging at a retard like yourself
>calls other autists and says they're fake

Is >>>/b/ down right now?

>we arrived at at 2:00am, the restaurant advertised that their kitchen was open until 4. When we got there we said we wanted to sit outside but the hostess said we had to sit at one of the tables in the bar area (all of the tables outside were open). We decided to seat ourselves outside anyway and after waiting a half hour we still hadn't had anybody come take our drink orders. I went inside to complain and was told we had to order at the bar so I ordered and went back outside to my table. after 15 minutes nobody had brought our drinks out to us so we just left, the service here is terrible and they lie about their hours, I will NOT be going back.

>>4116861
>Never mind the house rules, I want to do what I want and fuck everybody else.

That's the gist I got from that.

>>4116858
it's obviously a joke in the vein of Peanut Free Mom
I understand the internet is democratized and that all kinds of unsophisticated and naive people can share their opinion about things, but try to be a little critical

>>4116826
As a former chef/saucier/dishwasher/waiter, I fucking HATE people who want to walk in two minutes before closing. If you go to a restaurant, and it's 20 minutes or less before they close, and there's no or just a couple other customers there, DON'T FUCKING GO IN. They've already started to shut down the kitchen. Anything you order will be either 1. precooked old crap, 2. Made as shitty as possible since the kitchen had to fire up just for you, 3. Your server will be an asshole.
Just sayin; it's your choice, do what you want.

>>4116888
>it's obviously a joke in the vein of Peanut Free Mom
So no one could ever be so moronic to write a review like that without it being a joke? You seem a little jaded...

>visit greece every summer and eat shit tons of greek food
>go on yelp one day looking for greek food
>see one place with lots positive yelp reviews some saying very authentic
>visit
>cashier speaking something arabic sounding to cooks
>see kebab written everywhere
>don't see any seafood so ask if they have any souvlaki platters
>everyone goes silent and all eyes on me. so quiet you can hear someone taking a shit in the bathroom and the whirring sound of electricity running through cables
> hear loud lettuce crunching noises from customers staring at me after a few seconds go by
> cashier says to me "only greek food"
> can't believe this bullshit.... so hungry... "give me a chicken kebab"
> "HABIBI YHUELA ALLAHSALEMNI INSHALA SHISH YA HARAM NII SOUVLAKI PLATTER HAHAHAH HARUM CHARMOUT RAMADASA AMERICAN JAHBOOLL that will be $10
>pay $10 in change
>HABIBIA YEALUSD SALEM NI SHALAL HAHJAM HARUMI HARYUMI AMERICAN HALSI CHARMOUT FADDI HAUETOOM"
>hands me soggy greasy chicken sandwich with onions, green peppers, and lettuce
>take first bite... omg this is seasoned with mexican Mojo criollo marinade
>go on yelp and rant everything
>check yelp 1 year later
>only negative reviews after my visit
>place no longer has greek food in name
>restaurant name changed
>look on yelp for new restaurant name
>only positive reviews...

>>4116889
If you're open until a set time, then you need to be available until that time. You wanna close earlier, then change your closing time earlier. Don't give me that "BUT I WANNA START CLEANING UP NOW!!!!" garbage.

>>4116891
No, it's so elaborate and drawn out and self-conscious and it hits so many of the right notes to be authentic.
You are uneducated and either poor or young.

>>4116899
>No, it's so elaborate and drawn out and self-conscious and it hits so many of the right notes to be authentic.
>it hits so many of the right notes to be authentic.
>to be authentic
So you agree with me that it's real? Ok then. Moving on...

Joke aside, I know for a fact that there are self-centered people out there like this that would write such a review. Calling me uneducated (graduated high school top of my class, chose not to pursue higher education due to upcoming shitty job market and disinterest in most fields), poor (make $400/wk working for major logistics company with more advancement opportunities), and young (25, but hey, who's counting?) is attacking the author, not the arguement. But you go ahead and believe what you want to believe. Most of us already know that this lady is a tard.

>>4116895
I worked in a restaurant that was two notches above Applebee's quality. We made all our soups daily and breaded everything in the morning instead of frozen/microwavable stuff you get at most places. When I started working there the chef and line cooks would complain when someone comes in 20 minutes before the kitchen closed. They would always try to clean up and get away with shit when last minute orders came in like microwaving a hamburger patty or watering down soups. Evil dicks.

Eventually what happened was I would tell them to just do morning prep (which they did half assed) and I would clean up and they can leave. If an order came in 1 second before closing [or even 10 mins after] I would be 100% dedicated to making it the best thing to ever come out of that kitchen. This resulted in the bartender being tipped generously by the last diners. I would ask if the bartenders or servers wanted anything to eat, make myself some snacks to take home, clean up, and leave everything ready for the morning cook. There were some cool things to come out of doing this. I would always bring out the limes and lemons to the front so the bartenders could have some ready in the morning and would occasionally be thanked in person by the last minute eaters. Makes me happy.

>>4116904
>Joke aside, I know for a fact that there are self-centered people out there like this that would write such a review. Calling me uneducated (graduated high school top of my class, chose not to pursue higher education due to upcoming shitty job market and disinterest in most fields), poor (make $400/wk working for major logistics company with more advancement opportunities), and young (25, but hey, who's counting?) is attacking the author, not the arguement. But you go ahead and believe what you want to believe. Most of us already know that this lady is a tard.

wow, I pegged the trifecta, and you owned up to it.

It's amazing how you can just smell uneducated people... they have all these little cognitive limps from not having been forced to investigate things thoroughly.

Don't order from these fuggin' guys. It was around 5 o' clock when my nine family members all checked into our separate rooms at the hotel. After all congregating in my room and flipping through dinner choices on my cell phone, we finally decide on pizza. This is where we fucked up. I don't eat pizza anymore after this. I can't even look at it.

We call this fuggin' guy up, who answers the phone a little too quickly and all I can hear is shouting in the background. I start to place my order, but get rudely interrupted by several loud gunshots. After that, the shouting stopped, much to my delight. I asked, "Hello?" and a different guy spoke softly and clearly, "What can we do to you today?"

Confused by this, I assumed he meant to say 'for you' but ignored it and went on with the conversation. I placed my order and he explains to me, very hurried and in broken English, that the chicken wings can only be ordered in batches of 6, 8 and 36. I ask why on Earth would there is such a large gap between them, but he rudely cuts me off, "Come on buddy, I've got other customers waitin to-!" I quickly apologize and passively agree to get two orders of 8 wings, since only four of us wanted them and Aunt Carol lets loose gas on long road trips.

>>4116917
He says "Alright alright, that'll be 25 bucks." and hangs up the phone. I haven't even ordered the pizza yet! So I call him right back, a different guy answers, "Yeah, so what?" I rush past the rudeness, "Uh. Yeah, hiiii! I just ordered two orders of 8 wings and the other guy hung up before I could finish my order. Now I don't speak Italian, so I have no idea what transpired for the next four minutes. Two or more loud angry Italians yelling back and forth, "GASPOZA! badada FOTCHA LAUDA bada badabada BING badadadada NETSCAPE!"

So at this point, I'm a little curious whether or not this is a real restaurant. The next few minutes were spent in complete pandemonium. As I yelled into the phone, "Hello, sir. Sorry to interrupt you. I was just wondering if... uh."

There was a pause.

"if I could uh..."

Now before I continue, I should note that my 87 year old grandma was sitting next to me on the bed. She innocently smiles at me as I handle the phone call with an outstanding amount of calmness and highly commendable patience. She scratches her ear and looks out the window at some birds on the window sill.

"...GET SOME GODDAMN PIZZA FOR MY FAMILY!" My grandma shit the bed, not even kidding. The smell was goddamn terrible. Apparently, she had mistakenly turned up her hearing aid to its maximum allowable setting. My screaming had rendered the machine broken and she can't hear out of her left ear anymore. Ever since that exact moment. She doesn't answer our phone calls anymore, because she sits in the living room 24 hours a day and her only phone is three rooms away on the LEFT side of her house.

>>4116920
So in a panic, me and my hot cousins run out into the hallway to avoid the stench. My hot cousins made sounds that would

Anyway, I went back to the phone call to finish ordering my food. Out of courtesy, I'll stop reciting dialogue and just tell you what happened on an hourly basis.

1 Hour later, after numerous phone calls, hang-ups and yelling, I place my complete order. In a fuss, he gives me a price. $84.something something. He actually said, "something something".

2 hours later, no word back.
2 1/2 hours later, finally get a call back, says the food will be here in 15 minutes

4 hours later, my family was in complete chaos. We were fighting, no one wanted to see the Ripley's museum with me, my cousin wouldn't stop making out with her boyfriend while occasionally leaning over onto my lap in the hot tub, and the fucking hot tub was ice cold, which totally killed my boner. EVERYTHING WAS SHITTY!

SIX mothafuggin hours later, we're all fast asleep. We went to bed angry and in a hurry. Also, there were five of us packing into my Aunt Carol's room for the night, since my room had been temporarily damaged and smelled of post-Gettysburg dysentery.

I had to sleep in a bed with my hot cousin and her boyfriend, who kept me up with their loud spitty tongues mashing together all night. I finally got up, frustrated, and went into the bathroom to rub one out. Forty minutes later, I walk back into the dark room. The door was wide open and there was the distinct smell of cigar. Now I look at the bedside clock and notice that we'll have to clock out of the hotel in just a few more hours!! On the bed sat four small pizza boxes, two unmarked paper bags, soaked in grease (at least I hope it was grease) and a fucking black GARBAGE BAG filled with hot Coca Cola products.

>>4116921
It had a sticky note STAPLED to the INSIDE of the THIRD pizza box, which read 98.88 (scratched out) 112.88

I got two pizzas I didn't even order, 36 frozen chicken wings with no sauce, and my Aunt Edna was missing. The police found her two area codes away, wandering into a laundromat in a bad neighborhood.

Overall unpleasant 6/10

>>4116915
>I pegged the trifecta
And that affects the argument...how? You're sounding like the snobby, friendless type which tells me why you're posting on 4chan.

>and you owned up to it.
While I'll agree that 25 could be considered young, the other two are nowhere near the adjectives you posted.

>It's amazing how you can just smell uneducated people... they have all these little cognitive limps from not having been forced to investigate things thoroughly.
Confirmed for friendless snob. Enjoy your forever alone.

>>4116884
basically

>restaurant has a limited service during late night hours
>sit in an area that has no staff working it dispite being told not to
>complain when there is no service

>>4116904
>It's amazing how you can just smell uneducated people... they have all these little cognitive limps from not having been forced to investigate things thoroughly.

$400/wk is minimum wage... it's like $21 000 per year.....
>translation: you're fucking poor mate

>>4116943
>$400/wk is minimum wage...
I never mentioned how many hours a week I worked, son. Nor did I mention any money I have in the bank.
>translation: u mad

>>4112971
>unsavory people outside sullies the restaurant
I'M TAKING NOTES, I DON'T WANT TO BE GHETTO ANYMORE

>>4116895
>>4116910
I can see both sides of this argument.

If a restaurant says its open until 10pm, I assume that means you can sit in it until 10pm, not sit down at 9:58 and expect them to stay open late for you. If I go in at 9:58, order a beer, and can drink it and pay in 120 seconds, sure. But you have to consider the cooking time and everything.

Some places that I've been actually say somewhere on the door/menu that the kitchen shuts down at whatever time before the doors close.

I have never worked in any kind of food industry, so I have no idea though.

Fuck this thread

>>4113041
>literally scared to death
Thank Christ.

>>4116976
shit, s'cuze the trip. (unless you want to trade pokeymans with me.

>>4116976
The kitchen closed at 9:30PM and the bar closed at 1AM.

Now if the place closes at 10PM and someone comes in at 9:59PM it would make sense to deny them service unless they're looking for some left overs pushed to sell at the last minute like pizza for example.

If I'm the owner of a restaurant I would probably make an exception for good customers or if someone says something along the lines "I was really craving it/I just got off work and I wanted something good to eat" then yeah I would go the extra mile unless the deep fryer/oven/grill are cold and would recommend something else. I really don't know though. Sometimes it's not worth attending someone after closing when you think of costs and consistency with hours.

>look up my favorite burger place

Bad Reviews
>more than one waitress took orders so I didn't know who to tip
>outside looks sketchy (probably one of the nicer looking buildings in the area)
>food came out too hot
>burger was too big

>>4112971
aww shit a fellow 626

Fresh burger and interesting menu choices. Not as good as Red Robin or Five Guys. Food was not made correctly.

Ray's Hellburger, 3 stars by Daniel M.

I'm the guy who found the crazy bitch's yelp reviews and I apologize for not having anything nearly as interesting. I was simply looking up reviews of a local favorite when I saw the first one. Then decided to look at her profile with hopes that I'd find some other reviews of what she actually liked or where she lived out of curiosity.

But yeah, I highly doubt there's anyone that insane otherwise.

And yeah it may be fake, but look at her picture and choice of places to review and tell me she doesn't remind you of your bitchy cousin. I want to believe.

Local walgreens review.
After enjoying a fancy dinner with my husband at Applebee's, we decided to stop by Walgreen's to purchase a box of wine to imbibe on for the remainder of our evening. The first thing I noticed was, unlike the neighboring CVS parking lot, Walgreen's offers no golf cart parking. I simply cannot imagine how the residents of Colony Cove deal with this. One day when I retire to the Cove, I just know I will be taking my golf cart all around town, and I expect there to be ample golf cart parking available EVERYWHERE. The second thing I noticed was an overweight woman making her entrance into Walgreen's before me. There is a nip in the air, so she was wearing nude tights and a skirt. Her skirt somehow became tucked into her nude tights, exposing her rather large behind. No one else seemed to notice, so I graciously informed her of her wardrobe malfunction. After sparing her any further embarrassment, I obtained my boxed wine. The check-out line was speedy, and the associate was quite friendly. This Walgreen's location does sell Parrish and Ellenton tourist T-shirts, so don't forget to grab one before you leave!

>>4117682
I love these so much.

I want to believe they are genuine.

>>4113327
Would definitely try it.
That is fantastic marketing.

>>4117691
If I was looking for lunch and saw that sign, I would totally go in and try the meatball sandwich.

That is awesome.

Yelp doesn't actually "Delete" reviews they put them into a filter category that you have to use a captcha to get to.

>>4113026

This is relavant

My favourite one that I read is a guy was complaining that his french fries were cold after 15 minutes.

Like he expected them to stay piping hot forever or something?

>>4117835
Haha. I know people who order burgers rare (for delivery) and then complain when they come medium due to the packaged heat and resting.

I order them rare because I like my burgers medium

>>4113065
And then on her 11th birthday it turned out she was a wizard.

>Don't waste your time here! The service of the host staff was very unattentive. We waited at the hostess stand for 4 mins before we were finally greeted, which honestly was half assed as well. We were basically pointed to our table which was still dirty and full of dishes. We had to stand around another 3 mins while she cleared it off and search for a wiping rag. The waitress did not redeem for prior issues either.


She had to wait 4 whole minutes. What an atrocity.

>>4112767
>saying 2edgy
>2013

Haha

>>4117870
Go troll some other board, dick head.

>>4112759
IGN reviewers

>>4117854
Seriously though...
She said "leave her in the car for the first couple HOURS"

WHO THE FUCK WOULD LEAVE A CHILD INA CAR EVEN IF ITS NOT HOT OR FREEZING INA FUCKING CAR FOR HOURS?!

>>4112759
The negative (all) reviews for an all-nude strip club were made mostly by women. They saw it as a horrible place, only a handful of them were by men and they were alcoholics upset by the lack of booze. One man was upset he was asked to pay for a back rub (tfw someone expects something free in a strip club).

>>4117875
Get hazed, prole.

>>4117901

what possesses you to come by /ck/ and put on this show every month or so?

>>4117917
I've been here longer than you have, kiddo.

>>4113041
On what planet do people get to skip to the front of a huge line just because they have their fucking kids with them?

>>4114618
> I FOOLISHLY thought someone would be kind enough to let me up into the front of the line, since I HAD MY KIDS

HAHAHAHAHAHA what's wrong with this cunt? Special treatment because you shat out some worthless stinking bags of organs?
Can't make this shit up

>>4113917
I love it when people don't like what I like.
I'll enjoy the fucking place on me own then in peace

>>4113529
Holy shit, is this woman for real?

Her Lambs Farm review: "Let me just say that I was very much looking forward to a trip to Lamb's Farm with my 2 year old son Bryce and his 'stepsister', who was conceived during a previous relationship my husband had with a woman much younger than himself. Of course this woman is 'unable' (I say unwilling) to care for her own child, so we get to clothe and feed and raise her child for her. Thank you Illinois legal system, just what we needed."

>>4113116
>And there is a big sign in the back of the restaurant with a picture of "joker Obama" (you know, the picture that combines Obama and Heath Ledger joker) that reads "Hey Obama, where's MY stimulus check?"

Go in Kebab shop in East London
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