/ck/ - Food & Cooking

you're a dick and use bacon bits

You could try not being a cunt. That would work pretty well.

You can go to jail for that.

Go fuck a steak, you dick.

>>3812945
Lel ! that is ridiculous anon.

>>3812945
Only if you're in Canada or the UK. Maybe Germany too.

Op is a faggot.

>>3812958
Wow, your country has some fucked up laws.

Guys come on this is not that big a dick move.Its gonna be funny. My workplace does lots of practical jokes. Its part of our culture.

Kill yourself. It'd be super funny and you'd get lots of attention from your coworkers!

Enjoy being fired and having your teeth knocked out.

>>3812971
> this is not that big a dick move
Yeah, it kind of is.

>>3812958

Then you should tread very, very carefully.

Hey I want to prank you with dog meats.
What would be a way so you, OP, would not taste dog meats at first but would know it happened later?Just for fun eh?

>>3812987
Thats not even close to the same anon. Muslims hate dogs AND pigs. Why not eat something you hate?

>fucking with vegans and muslims

You don't want to live very long, do you.

>>3812999
Dude, not all muslims are terrorists.These are good guys, they will think its funny.

>>3812932
You are giving meat eaters a bad name with this BS.

If they find out, I hope they beat your crotch with a cactus.

>>3812993
Because in muslim religion both are considered unclean and therefore it's filthy to eat filthy animals

That's like asking the standard person why doesn't he like eating Rat?

Last time I did this a plane ran into my office.

>>3813009
What the fuck is with all the hate? is this just a few buthurt vegans pretending to be the whole board?
Does no one here think this is funny?
Fuck guys, lighten up.

>>3813015
It is a bad troll and a lame thread. Deal with it homo.

>everyone yelling at OP for being a dick.

"Hey guys, my boyfriend doesn't like the taste of pork, but my dad won't eat anything without pork in it. How do I mask the taste of pork to satisfy both of them?"

>no one posts because no one actually likes contributing and they can't berate OP.

I hate all of you, including myself.

>>3813015
> is this just a few buthurt vegans pretending to be the whole board?
Maybe you're just being a disrepectful asshole, and should try asking on /b/ instead. Or maybe it is a campaign by bitter vegans.

Lard in baked products. Pie crust maybe.

I hope you get fired though.

>>3813020
>"Hey guys, my boyfriend doesn't like the taste of pork, but my dad won't eat anything without pork in it. How do I mask the taste of pork to satisfy both of them?"
That's false equivalency. In your example, it's someone not liking the taste of pork, and presumably the boyfriend would be okay with eating pork that didn't taste like pork. In this case, it's two people who refuse to eat pork on religious grounds, and one who does it on (presumably) moral grounds. Apples and oranges.

>>3813015
Because you're being a faggot who's trying to impose and break religious and personal beliefs to be -funny- when it really isn't.

I don't really give a shit about vegans because chances are they probably do it for reasons not really that important and are known for imposing their agenda on others but Muslims already take so much shit for being muslim. Leave them to their religion as long as they're not hurting anybody.

I hope someone feeds you catshit, OP. I'm a meat eater, btw.

>>3813025
You misinterpreted the purpose of the example as analogy. It's there to show how the same question can be presented in multiple contexts, but no one cares about the question.

>>3813023
I thought lard was beef fat?

>>3813025
>>3813020
I don't like the taste of beef but I will eat it without complaints.

One of my friends is vege and if you give her beef she will feel horrifically sick from the idea of eating animal flesh. She thinks of it as eating a corpse I guess?

Stop being a dick, OP...

unless they're dicks, first, of course.

>>3813034
I'm sorry, why am I supposed to care?

>>3813032
That would be tallow. They are somewhat interchangeable though.

As far as I know lard is almost always fat from a pig.

This isn't /b/.

gtfo.

>>3813071
/b/ is the ones that sent me here. I had no idea you guys were such self righteous pricks

I would say use a blender to puree some kind of pork chop and add it to some slow cooked "vegan mudslime friendly" beans

>>3813015
Only a jack ass would think this is funny.

>>3813064

Lard is pig fat by definition.

>>3813020

As someone said, totally not equivalent.

I'm proud of /ck/. Sometimes this board isn't at its best, but generally, /ck/ has some of the best posters in 4chan. It's nice to see a reminder of that.

>>3813079
then make burritos with lots of fresh cillantro and jalapenos to mask any meat flavor they might detect

>>3813081
How does someone like you end up on 4chan? What's with the subtle cry for attention in your name; is it how you elevate yourself onto your high horse?

>>3813086
>>3813033

Messing with someone's religious beliefs to be "funny" is definitely a dick move. For Muslims eating pork is blasphemy. I really ope you lose your job if you do it. Maybe then you'll see how "funny" your joke is.

OP: Cook your food with lard aka pig fat

ITT /ck/ is full of HR directors

There's always that guy that doesn't fit in with the others and tries too hard to be "funny" by pushing things to the limit by doing stupid things.

just make any pork dish and say it's veggie meat.

So you can't just say to yourself "Hey! More bacon for me?"

Hope it works out as well for you as it did the Brits.

>>3812932
If you guys saw this as a youtube viral video you would laugh your asses off.Quit pretending to be so civilized.

>>3813102
ITT: muslums and liberals try to convince OP that this is somehow wrong

>>3813124
But, it's not funny..

>>3813129
>a butthurt tripfag appears

Shocking.

>>3813033

It's not the same question. The questions have a common topic; cooking with pork. The actual questions are different, with completely different intentions. That (Fem)Anon was trying to make two loved ones happy, not trick people of certain principles into eating something they would be abhorred to eat. Furthermore, the boyfriend's only problem with pork is the taste; presumably, he has no problem with it if he can't taste it.

And yes, /ck/ reacted strongly to this OP being a dick. Anger will cause a greater reaction, something you can learn in basic psychology or statistics.

>>3813077
We're self-righteous because we disagree with you being a dick to people?

So what, they eat it and you go "HAH! I TRICKED YOU!" or something? They'll look at you and feel sick. If you are not fired, the story will go around the workplace. You'll be that dick who fed pork to Vegans and a Muslim.
Or, you keep it to yourself. Which is kinda stupid. Silently thinking to yourself 'hehe, I tricked them. I shall write about this on the internet!' but, as you can see, not even the internet thinks you're cool. Go back to /b/

>>3813140
>hurrrr you are a moralfag whiteknight, Legion has no morals we are not your personal army I hope mom doesn't find my hidden gore gifs

>>3813134
I can only assume you didn't read the comment you replied to, since your rebut doesn't address how the questions are different, just how their contexts are different, as the post you replied to already acknowledged.

>>3813129
I'm a libertarian and find this idea stupid as hell.

Learn to respect other eating choices. You don't like it when vegetarians or vegans do it but you have no problems with a guy wanting to fuck with people because of different eating choices?

Hey guys! This guy I know at work is allergic to peanuts. How can I sneak some in his food without him tasting it?

>>3813168
>I'm a libertarian
How long until you are of voting age?

>>3813169
that is wrong and illegal

>>3813168
Milton Friedman would think my joke is funny.

>>3813190

>>3813190
What is the fag who made shitty ass Monopoly your god and moral reference point all of a sudden?

Grow up.

Just grow the fuck UP.

>>3813190
Who's that?

OP you're a spoiled brat who is simultaneously going to make your religion (assuming you aren't an angsty 16 year old atheist) and meat eaters/ omnivores look bad. And in the case of the vegan, after avoiding meats long enough eating them in a large enough quantity can make you nauseated. Grow up.

How would you feel OP if someone fed you a dish consisting of Rat meat?

>>3813197
>You don't conform to my morals so you're childish!!!

>>3813208
I bet rat, cat or dog isn't that bad if you put it in a stew

>>3813208
OP here, if the rat does not make me sick then why would I care?
I would laugh and think it was funny. I would be a good sport.

You are probably going to do this anyway, as you appear to be a dick.

Have someone post pics or video of you getting your ass handed to you by two muslims.

>>3813228
Honestly this is the first time I have been to /ck/ and I likely wont be back.
I am planning on making a viral video though. By the time you guys see it you will have forgotten all about this. I bet you will think its funny.

Ok guys, I want to feed OP a plate of human liver and testicles but want to find a way to feed it to him, so that way he doesn't taste it at first but will find out the horror later?

>>3813239

>>3813239
How about we feed him human brain instead?

>>3813248
As long as it's his own brain, I'm fine with this.

>>3813233
You will not be missed.

I'm sure your video will be all the rage with your BNP buddies.

>>3813220
Way to utterly miss the point.

>>3813271
Way to pose a leading question and get upset when someone gives you an honest answer.

>>3813281
a) I didn't post the question
b) The issue isn't taste; it's about how you would react to knowing that you ate rat, dog, or whatever the fuck. I'm sure that you, with your unflappable Andrew Zimern cool wouldn't have any problems, but us lowly mortals would probably be upset, quite possibly to the point of feeling physically ill.

>>3813271
the point is that I don't voluntarily eat those kinds of meat but once I had them I'd realize that they wouldn't hurt me and were actually good

>>3813301
Good for you, but most people take a while to get over a lifetime of cultural programming, Thus, feeding people things that they have learned for their entire lives are unclean makes them very, very unhappy. Thus, OP is an asshole.

ITT: Crybaby faggots

OP, just go back to /b/ and try again. /ck/ is too full of "grown ups" to ask a question that skirts on the boundaries of morality.

0/10

See, what you do is you wrap yourself in C4 and layer after layer of delicious bacon, sneak into the Kaaba as a pilgrim, and right when you get to the black stone, scream, "Khanzeer hu ackbar!" and set yourself off, spraying bacon everywhere.

Bacon salt

Chop off your dick and puree it with some tofu.

>>3813342
I would use this as my excuse for why the food tasted like bacon

I'm glad I don't know anyone like the OP.

And if I did, I'd do everything I could to not associate with them.

make something with this fake bacon, sneak a few real strips of bacon in.

They will love it, and you can break it to then at any time you want later, I suggest taking pictures/video while you cook whatever the fuck it is you would make.

then make them cry delicious bacon tears.

also, if you think this is a bad idea, fuck off.

ITT: Edgy as fuck.

>>3813359
>meatless bacon
>that particular brand of meatless bacon
>they will love it

I'm pretty sure even someone who had never tried bacon before would be able to tell the difference between meat and plastic. But if OP enjoys being socially awkward and not having friends, by all means go right ahead with this idea.

>OP comes to /ck/
>hey guise how do I asshole at work and possibly get a civil case started on religious intolerance
>/ck/ shuns him

seriously, you thought this would go well?

also

>fucking with people's food

lol sounds like a great plan

>>3813372
In american we dont have to religious tolerance. Have fun in communist europ

>>3813372
cooking food that people don't like isn't against the law

go back to reddit or whatever shithole you came from

>>3812979
>People believing is a magical sky wizard who says not to eat pigs

>Feed them pig

>Go to jail

wat

I bet OP's one of those faggots that thinks all trolling or pranks means being a cunt, which isn't true. Funny examples of food trolling:

-making a Napalm sandwich (habaneros and jolokia peppers layered under peanut butter and hot pepper jam mixed with whatever hot sauce you prefer) trap for a roommate who's been stealing your food
-switching out your girlfriend's cereal with a bag of Kibbles 'n Bits
-taking a whole roast chicken your mom just put into the oven, turning off the heat, and replacing it with a live chicken

You aren't funny, OP. You're an asshole who gives the rest of us a bad name.

I'm not hatin, I always try to do this too. I don't understand or care to understand why they don't eat such a delicious animal! I love pig & I've even had dog. it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.

> muslims and vegans
> 92 posts

Summer will be over soon.

>>3813034

I could eat a corpse... as long as it was semi fresh.

>>3813521
Not me, I would rather have corpse jerky