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2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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20117164 No.20117164 [Reply] [Original]

>"I'm a member" flashing the ol gold card
>nod towards the table set in the lobby
>3 bus boys immediately run out and replace the table cloth and light candles as lights dim in the entire building.
>cell phone flashlights light up the restaurant like fireflies on a tuscan eve
>bartender brings a cask of wine and begins playing piano
>chef carries out piping hot pan of pasta
>chef places the italian masterpiece before me and begins belting opera to accompany the piano
>finish my meal and whisper, "dessert"
>Hostesses and passable busboys take their place in front of my table
>"You", i motion to the hostess with the mostess
>as I stand my chair and table are whisked away and a bathtub of spaghetti is carried out
>after our romp in flavor town i am treated to a sponge bath
>my suit was dry cleaned and pressed during the passionate love making
>walking out i'm handed a VHS copy of my dessert
>it pays to be a member ;)

>> No.20117439

>>20117164
Solid 6/10 pasta (pun intended)

>> No.20117646

>>20117164
i wouldnt mind if waggies could be pimped out by their corporate masters but at the same time, you'd always be slumming it, neck deep in gutter trash pussy and methhead blowjobs.

>> No.20117701
File: 29 KB, 360x360, plan2jh7.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
20117701

>>20117646
>gutter trash pussy and methhead blowjobs

>> No.20118229
File: 857 KB, 1440x1800, your-life-depends-on-how-you-answer-v0-j8obkgk5nepb1.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
20118229

>>20117164
>Didn't leave a tip.

>> No.20118428
File: 381 KB, 260x146, dunked_on.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
20118428

>>20117164
>not diddling the passable busboy with a never ending breadstick
missed opportunity.

>> No.20118444

Pouring hot zuppa toscana straight down into their gape is an experience I hope everyone gets to see at least once.

>> No.20118477

>>20117164
>When you're here, you're family!
So at what point do they call the cops after my sister gets drunk and stabs the uncle who molested her with a fork, and mom locks herself in the bathroom and threatens to kill herself by ODing on Tylenol, as the medicated zoomer grandkids sit on the floor texting with dead eyes?

>> No.20119376

I like the lasagna, personally

>> No.20119383
File: 983 KB, 500x347, spaghetti buster keaton scissors.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
20119383

>>20117164
I enter the Olive Garden like that long take in Goodfellas.

>> No.20119391

>>20117646
>i wouldnt mind if waggies could be pimped out by their corporate masters
I have great news for you.

>> No.20119705

>>20117164
and everyone one clapped.
the end

>> No.20119711
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20119711

>meanwhile me at another table looking at OP

>> No.20119721

>>20117646
Wagies *are* pimped out. To their immediate supervisors.