/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>20107420
i simply, do not, give a single fuck

No one but you gives a shit, just say what you want so you can pay and get the fuck out faster.

I don't. I'm a regular and am not gonna give up having a corner store a minute from my suburbs.
Same for any of the food places. I actually like being recognized, workers are a little more keen to serve someone consistent, that is if you don't hum and haw for 5 minutes wasting their time every time you go.

>>20107420
You're fat. Post rist

>>20107472

Order using the app. Walk in and pick up your food when its ready. No need to talk to anyone.

>>20107420
just add a small milkshake at the end and say its for your kid

>>20107507
>y'ellow?
>welcom kafe see whatchu want nigga
>well hi there neighbor. My wife sent me to pick up an order for the senpai. Real special treat for the kids, you know?
>fo sho fo sho
>haha anyways can I get a large bucket with extra crispy, a large side of slaw, and uhhhhh maybe some potato wedges.
>summ drank?
>ha oh my yes my kids want a large coca cola and a small milk shake. For the kids you know?
>aight that'll be $78.11 plus tip drive up
See? Easy

>>20107507
>just add a small milkshake at the end and say its for your kid
Say it's for your teenaged daughter who needs to get the taste of something out of her mouth. That would probably be more convincing.

>>20107461
this, literally the only thing that went through my head as a cashier

>>20107420
They don't care.

Buy a door dash hat. Simple I have been doing this for years.

>>20107458
Came here to post this

>>20107420
She probably thinks your wife is black

>>20107420
OP, the fast food food workers are glad to be only cooking for one person, less work and it allows them to focus more on the single order and do a better job. When I was a line cook I loved getting the single meal orders versus the whole family coming in and getting the equivalent of a fucking catering order right on the spot. They don't mind at all if one person is getting food.

Also, if you're worried about ordering food alone, then you gotta have get self confidence, work it up slowly doing mundane tasks like ordering food, holding the door open for people, and being more conversational.

>>20107420
they don't give a fuck and don't make enough to give a fuck, thinking that they give a fuck is fatty mindset

I am a kinda weird looking dude and my local cornerstore indians literally laugh in my face when they see me but they also are very friendly and keep my favorite liquor and snacks in stock just for me. They even offered me food for thanksgiving. But like as soon as they see me in the door they will start laughing like I'm the funniest thing they've ever seen. I've just accepted clown mode, it's not the worst.

>>20107420
the amount of cringe in that post.

>>20107420
nobody cares unless you try to rob them
Fatty

>>20107915
i love how he looks to the side to the producers and is like
>ok am i done here? is my segment over? can i leave now?

Make a voice clip on vocaroo or something else, in a womans voice...have it playing when you walk in. Be like "you do me so good you massive cocked beast, now honey get a 12 pc chicken and taters okay?" and then chuckle and say "okay sweetcheeks!" and place your order. While you are waiting, casually mention to the cashier how "your old lady just wants it nonstop" and laugh

>Wow, you must be having some party!
>Yeah, party of one
God I'm so cool

>khv
idk wtf that is

>>20107958
kissless, handholdless virgin

>>20107937
>Wow, you must be having some party!
A cashier made this comment to me once at a supermarket and I don't even remember what I was buying, just that it wasn't nearly enough to be for a party so I found the comment utterly bizarre.
Same dude once commented that I must care about health because I was buying turkey ham, another comment I found weird

>>20107915
Our local Indian Store Owner pummels us with ridiculously artificial pleasantries before trying to sell us whatever "bargain" items he's shilling this week, which we politely decline before proceeding to the cash register, which somehow is always staffed by a new Indian cashier, doubtless another "relative" for visa purposes, as the owner stands nearby and watches for some weird reason, judging my purchases. So we've mostly gone back to the other store with the dead-eyed zoomers.

>>20107925
Which one? The gibbering monkey in makeup, or the small gibbering monkey in makeup?

>>20107959
lol
Really?!
lmao

>>20107981
He wants to suck your dick

>>20107992
Yeah, I'd only realised that possibility just now, years after the more recent of those events had already come and gone.
He didn't strike me as a 'mo, tho

>>20107472
Jesus, you actually called that one.

>>20107496
I dont know why I've never done this. Will do that from now on.

>>20108277
>not even typing thank you
you're one ungrateful fuck

>>20107458
>>20107629
This. Not only do I give zero fucks, I've gotten to know them and will tell them what recipes I'm cooking with or that I'm hanging out with friends or just replenishing stock. No point lying, people laugh and start conversations like this.

>>20108287
True, poor form on my part. Thank you for your suggestion and gomennasai for my rudeness.

>>20107420

>order a family meal from the local pizza place
>the delivery guy says to tell everyone the pizza is real hot and to let it cool down
>i saw ok thanks

>>20107998
Homosexuals are normal people, just like you and me.

>>20107420
Here's a revolutionary update that will affect your life: Nobody cares what you do. Unless you're hurting someone or doing something obviously illegal, literally no one cares.
No one cares about you, Anon.

>>20108371
ha, a npc called op a npc

>>20108373
Yeah. This might be hard to hear, but no one who visits 4chan is a PC. Prove me wrong, it'll be adorable watching you try.

>>20108384
*hyper-ventilates*
I have thoughts and feelings, that makes me the PC, right? RIGHT?

>>20107420
No one cares. It's fast food, not a five star gourmet restaurant. Besides, even if it is a fancier place, you will likely never interact with any of the staff outside of the restaurant anyway, so even if they are a cunt about it, it doesn't affect you anyway.

The most awkward thing you can do in this situation is overthink it and spill your spaghetti. Just go in, get your order, thank them, and walk out. That's it.

Everyone saying "no one cares", when I worked at McDonald's as a teen I would judge every fat fuck that came in. We'd laugh about them later. I still remember what some of them ordered regularly and this was back in 2006. One hog would always come in and order a giant bag of food that was clearly for her. She was pulling her bank card out one time and her drivers license fell out on the counter. Her picture showed a skinny, beautiful woman, but definitely not more than a a couple of years younger. Fast food had ruined her, sad, waste of decent pussy.

>>20107420
"OH FUCK WHAT IF THE WAGIES KNOW THAT I'M A FATASS"
kill yourself

>>20108519
You've literally never worked fast food, faglord.
I have, no one is in your face long enough for you to fucking care. The ONLY guy I specifically remember (and not by name or face, just the behavior, I couldn't pick him out in a crowd) is a dude who came through in some sort of SUV or truck and tipped $20 and the car was always full of smoke/weed/vape.
No idea who he was but I appreciated him tipping.
>b-but you would have called the cops b/c of the weed smell
no I don't get paid enough for that shit
>but
you fucking retards need to get the fuck outside and stop living in your heads

>>20108519
Last week I stopped to eat inside a McDonalds and I saw a slightly autistic guy that knew every worker's name by heart, but also clearly practically lived there since he kept checking the time and getting refills. Eventually one of the employees cut him off and told him he wasn't giving him any more soda for his own health. I ended up seeing the guy leave the restaurant like 5 min later with a refill, so maybe he cut a deal with the employee to get 1 more but also to get the hell out.

>>20107981
Cashiers are trained to "interact" and engage in small talk, but they genuinely don't give a fuck and they're just empty words. You can tell them you're going to stuff yourself silly. They're not gonna give a fuck.

Next time ignore that cashier and find one that isn't chatty.

i'm not brutally honest as i'm not a woman with no conscience, but i'm up front and sincere. it's as bad as it sounds, i'm somebody who gets bothered by that now very common phrase "now i'm not gonna lie..." or "i'll be honest with ya..."
just fucking say it plainly

>>20107420
I make my order, set my phone to self-ring, "answer" my ring, talk for a bit, then rush up and ask if I can change part of my order. Usually I'll change a sauce and get an extra helping of something.

>>20107496
>No need to talk to anyone.
Aren't you the guy weeping in another thread about how nobody talks to you and you feel so alone and want to end it all?

>>20107475
Stop using this picture of my hand

>>20107651
>only cooking for one person
OP's problem is that they are buying enough food for 4 people, are going to eat it all in one sitting by themself and are afraid the staff will know and will judge them. OP has internalized self-loathing that they are unwilling to deal with.

>>20108630
That picture of your hand has made me laugh at least 50 times over the years. It’s like the only picture that actually makes me laugh every single time I see it. Truly the gift that keeps on giving

>>20107937
>you must be having some party!
Cashier made this comment to me and a friend. We were buying 4 liters of Coke, a handle of rum. Oh, and rolling paper. And yeah, it was a great party.

>>20108638
For me, it's being tapped on the shoulder "miss?" and turning around and they say "oh sorry" but also the rum and coke

>>20108638
A single bottle of rum and rolls of paper, was this a two person diarrhea party? Sounds lame af

>>20107420
tell them it's all for you

>>20108652
Back in the olden times, before you were born, cannabis (or pot as we called it) was sold by self-employed vendors as loose leaf in small bags. You had to roll it up into tubes (commonly known as joints). We'd light one end into a burning ember, then inhale the smoke through the tube. This required a special paper, cut to exactly the right size, with a small strip of saliva-activated adhesive down one side. This was called "rolling paper", because it was used when "rolling" the joints.

>>20107937
The last time I got this comment, my cart was full of produce and the cashier was a ham planet who was not happy about having to enter PLU's. She's usually nice otherwise.

>>20107420
>How do you guys trick fast food/liquor stores etc into thinking you aren't just ordering for yourself?
why would anybody do this?
nobody thinks about you at all, anon.
stop being so self-centered.

>>20107420
>orders family sized portion
>wants to trick the cashier
how about you trick your gut and hop on the treadmill, fatass?

>>20109450
>exercise
i don't pee sitting down

>>20109469
TMI

>>20107420
>will think my wife wrote it for me
kek I don't even bother people would think my mother wrote it for me

>>20107420
How can you be me if I'm me?

>>20108519
This, they absolutely do care and will be laughing at you
When I got my first job I wanted to treat my family to dinner one night instead of cooking and I ordered a pizza, some wings, and a soda
the teenager on the phone asked me if I wanted a salad with that and I heard girls giggling in the background
my voice cracked as I said "no" and I heard her stifle a laugh
Never ordered from them again

>>20110288
Thinking everything is about to you is a sign of schizophrenia. Like if you see people talking across the street, etc. It's degenerative, so if that was then.. by now it's gotten worse. More paranoia, things you were comfortable with socially you no longer do.

>>20110446
The messed up part is that they actually ARE talking/laughing about you. That goes away when the schizophrenia does.

>>20107618
This.
Giving a shit means you're deep in the once rabbit hole.

Yes, nobody ever notices. Nobody judge. Just do what you want, buy want you want, and don't even think about brimg ashamed of spending money on things you don't need.

>>20110446
>person tells joke at my expense
>people laugh
not schizophrenia in any way
I've worked as a field tech, we talked shit about people who couldn't figure out how to print or didn't save their work before unplugging they're desktop to plug in a phone, and then expect us to recover the data, all the time.
Talking shit is what people do, pretending otherwise is delusional

The only thing to do is get over it like I did

>>20110619
*their
shut up

>>20107461
>>20107618
Only correct answer.

>>20107475
Wrists be looking like whole bologna

>>20107475
H A M
A
M

>>20110641
Based non-noticer.

>>20107420
Why lie?

>>20107626
this nigga thinks the doordash driver places the the store. those employees laugh at you every time you walk in with your stupid hat also most don't wear anything with doordash on it lmao

>>20107420
wagies just punching orders into their kiosk bro they don’t need nor care about your life story

>>20107461
If you think retail employees aren't making fun of you after you leave you're fucking delusional
My wife and I still have dozens of inside jokes we use about retards we met when we were working together 20 years ago

>>20107467
Once employees somewhere start recognizing me, it's time to shop somewhere else

>>20107626
>wearing Doordash shit
>isn't picking up a Doordash order
this isn't working bud

>>20107915
post fist
>>20107475

>>20108774
If weed gives you diarrhea why do you smoke it?

My problem is fastfood wagies keep cutting me off while I'm trying to order.
>Two cheeseburgers please
>Ok that will be four dollars
>Yeah and a McChicken
>Ok that will be 6.50, have you tried our app yet
>No I haven't, and 15 nuggets please
>Ok that will be 11.50, will you be dining in or taking out
>Taking out, and a large fries and apple pie thanks.

They seriously do this to me every time. I've left unsatisfied because they simply won't stop trying to end the order before I'm finished.

>>20112203
I only talk shit about the customers who stand out the most. At my store, it's mainly the liquor store owners who buy tons of shit as if we were a wholesaler.

Glutons who use EBT, too. I remember one family where "momma" is on an motorized car with her oxygen and her obese son who is clearly a neet and a smoker. Always buying up a ton of junk food with ebt and then telling the driver of their van to hit up Jack in the Box. I imagine they're starving now without their gibs.

>>20112311
>They seriously do this to me every time. I've left unsatisfied because they simply won't stop trying to end the order before I'm finished.
That's because we want to get the most amount of money while engaging in the least amount of effort possible.
It's called capitalism, and if you don't like it, move to California or some other communist country where they say one thing and do something else entirely.

>>20107420
>too retarded to cook
>too gay to avoid shitting up the catalog with gay threads
>too socially retarded to just order food
Kill yourself

>>20108521
i mean the wagie can see he's a fatass so that's a moot point

>>20107915
They are indians, they are laughing because they are happy to see you

>>20107937
>be me
>beginning of coof panic buying
>get my normal weekly beer amount
>cashier: "hah, good to see someone doing this right, who knows how long we'll have to be inside! ^^"
>me: heh yeah...

Also every year around NYE

>>20112655
Who the fuck is that?

They don't care.

Don't be this guy-- so self-conscious he can't accept even the smallest amount of friendly banter and concern from a stranger.

>>20112655
who?

>>20112311
You gotta learn to manage your tone and speed, you're making it sound like you're finished. You can't be too quick or they can't keep up, but if you're too slow they'll assume you're done. It's a pretty fine line, I'm not great at it myself, but if it's happening that often the problem is you.

>>20113363
this. sounds like the fat cunt rocks up and stares at the menu between saying words to decide what he wants. decide before you go

>>20112311
wow how fat are you, on a scale from one to janny?

>>20112311
fucking kek

>>20112992
>>20113209
>who?
The op picking up an amount of KFC that according to his own admission should be enough to fool the cashier he is buying enough for an entire family, that's who

>>20113154
I think like this but I am thin and don't post about it on 4chan
I just want to listen to music while I eat my slop during my very brief period of respite

>>20112296
Gotta prep a perfect crust for your boyfriend, cuz.

>>20107420
I dont. I pride myself in eating that much and still looking good. I only eat fast food rarely tho and work out 4 times a week.
If youre ashamed of yourself, you should change what makes you ashamed