/ck/ - Food & Cooking

I just really want some attention on my birthday guys sorry.

>>19993956
https://youtu.be/WmGTWR1Zdic

>>19993971
>said the schizo as he reads the /ctg/ dossier with all the intel about the anons who post there he collected over the years

He really believes everything he reads on the internet, the thought that other anons could be trolling him never hits him.

sniiiiif

For me, it's 1:27, the best coffee to water ratio.

>>19994060
This could be a poster for a horror or thriller movie

*gives u an arrhythmia in ur path*

How do they get away with serving an energy drink equivalent to 5 cups of coffee per serving and then offering unlimited refills?
They only added the caffeine sign after 2 people died.

>>19994067
hey bud? its as much as 1 cup of coffee
i guess you can't believe everything you hear on msnbc bud?i guess racheal maddow was lying to you this whole time friend

>>19994074
How often do you drink 30oz of coffee in one sitting?

>turbo shot with nespresso machine: >:(
>turbo shot with flair machine: :O

>>19994081
They had 20oz servings as well, and even then the 30oz serving does not have the equivalent of 5 cups of coffee worth of caffeine in it. They should have made it clear it contains caffeine, but there's no need to exaggerate how "dangerous" it is. You could drink this regularly and be fine, same way you can drink coffee regularly and be fine.

>>19994089
How often do you drink 20oz of coffee and then go back for a refill?
This shit is meant to be mindlessly guzzled down like any soft drink, hot coffee doesn't lend itself to chugging unless you're retarded.

>>19994067
>They only added the caffeine sign after 2 people died.
>They should have made it clear it contains caffeine
They asked the Katz's friends about it and say she knew it was caffeinated before she drank it, and even had it twice.
Their fallback is claiming they didn't realize how dangerous 390mg of caffeine really was.

They're basically trying to claim that despite full disclosure on the contents, the lemonade hazardous because it didn't have "energy" in the title, and it was too yummilicious for people to avoid.

>>>/wsg/5373359

>>19994088
>we achieved higher extraction yields at 6 bars, and we did this consistently across multiple samples
>The Nespresso brewing appliances use 19 bars of pressure to force water into capsules filled with high quality grounded coffee.

Is there any difference with the Kinto slow pour over filters? I just throw them in my V60 and make about 20.5g/350ml, comes out hit or miss nothing consistent. I'm following the limey nerd on YT and his method of pour over.

>>19994111
>turbo shot with nespresso machine: >:(
>turbo shot with flair machine: :O

>>19994115
According to roguewave
>These filters are more porous and thicker than Hario V60 tab filters. The result is a similar drip time as the V60 tab filters but resulting in a cleaner taste and less oil in the coffee.

>>19994110
Holy shit he actually meant it, the madman.

He’s basically reading his environmentalist manifesto and he’s talking about making a terrorist attack on nestle Italy offices to punish them for polluting the earth with non recyclable nespresso capsules.

>>19994203
>Coffee society and its future

You can’t make this shit up

>>19994287
This is the future you chose

>>19994381
KEK

>>19994060
What is the significance of this guy?

>>19994402
He’s the italian uncle ted, he released a manifesto a while back under a fake name where he heavily implied he was going to start mailing bombs to the executives of nespresso at their homes and offices. Not sure what he’s up to these days.

>>19994402
Ignore it. An anon routinely posts about that guy out of homoerotic obsession.

>>19994410
Full manifesto extended

>>>/wsg/5373479

>early thread
>its shit
imma skip this one.

>>19994461
nobody asked

>>19994465
its not an answer its a statement you illiterate retard

>>19994470
reality is nobody asked nobody cares

So, what’s the difference between the fellow stagg and the hario buono? One costs 2x the other and apart from a small thermometer I can’t fathom why.

I don’t need if for (the moment) V60 but I could use it in the future, I need it to preheat the flair extraction cylinder.

>>19994486
>I can’t fathom why
It's the same one from instagram videos

>>19994527
I know that it’s over memed but I was wondering if there’s something “non written”. I read that some people said that it has an amazing control (?) or whatever, so I was wondering.
For sure the internal thermometer isn’t worth extra 40€ over the buono.
Is there another stovetop kettle with integrated thermometer that doesn’t cost an offensive price and it’s 100% 304 stainless without cancerous paint and shit?

>>19994534
with gooseneck i presume?

>>19994534
>thermometer
>gooseneck
>doesn’t cost an offensive price
>handle made in plastic
>:(

>w-whatever man! I don't give a FUCK about anything before I've had my coffee!
>no talkie! NO TALKIE!
You junkies are the most insufferable people to interact with in any capacity.
The black sludge which you gourmandize on, in turn gourmandizes your very soul and digests into a repugnant veneer of what used to be. A weak-willed spirit, inhabiting a dim creature which may come alive only after indulging in their fix and reveling in its buzz. Caffeine, the most deleteriously evil of all soft-substances.
SAVE YOUR SOUL, DRINK WATER!

>>19994486
I fucked up my Hario Buono's display pretty early on just by spilling water on it. (I know, spilling water on a kettle base, unheard of). The display was eventually unreadable.

I've spilt all kinds of shit on my Fellow Stagg's display and no issues.

>>19994555
seethe

>>19994538
Yes

>>19994548
Thanks

>>19994573
I need the stovetop model.

Also is the thermometer really necessary? I mean it’s cool but wouldn’t a thermopen suffice? Is the temperature control necessary for the flair when making medium to dark coffee?

>>19994623
I mostly use the temperature control to make different teas honestly.

I don't know anything about the stovetop versions though.

>>19994555
You need Allah in your life brosky. What are you even doing in a thread you don't like?

tfw you spend all your kettle money on 'tone

>>19994868
you are me frfr

>>19994868
The fuck is tone?

>dead thread

>>19995419
the early bird kills the thread

Nobody ever talks about the way kettles pour, not all goosenecks are made the same. I have two, a chink no name and a bodum, both about $40, and I unironically think the chink one is better. The bodum dribbles down the chin like a retarded child when you try to pour really slow, it’s very frustrating. I think that’s probably where the price difference between seemingly identical kettles comes from.

>>19995546
>Nobody ever talks about the way kettles pour
umm anon?(timestamp included)
>https://youtu.be/Pbel051H7-s?feature=shared&t=566

ok bought the Brewista Artisan Gooseneck Variable Kettle(black/black) and 1 Fellow Atmos Coffee Vacuum Canister (0.7L)(matte black)

Samefags need to be exterminated

>>19995589
I have the airscape canister and while I’m under impression of having being jewed into buying something marginally useful than a normal airtight sauce jar/canister that costs 3 times less, I’m happy with it although I hate how they made the external lid. It should’ve had a closing mechanism of sorts for maximum tightness instead of being a loose pop up closure that relies on how clean is the gasket surrounding the lid.

Can anyone recommend a scale that automatically begins counting (timer starts) the moment weight is added (coffee hits cup) that isn't the $300 lunar acai?

>>19995612
i already have multiple air tight/low oxygen bean storage jars but those are usually full with my daily coffee rotation and i needed something else for my roasted beans to rest in and the twist to """vacuum""" looked fun so i thought i would try it out
and i clean the gasket often on my other bean storage so im not really bothered

and my kettle is some like 5 year old sunbeam that cost $20
i was looking at it the other day and i just felt kind of disgusting using the water that came from it, i know its boiled but something about the kettle suddenly grossed me out and kinda killed my coffee brewing vibes.

>>19995620
Timememe scale

>>19995620
Tiny2s if you want it to fit your flair pro 2

How many clicks on a K6 for moka?

>>19995722
depends

>>19995722
https://ttaomae.github.io/posts/2013/01/how-to-ask-questions

>>19995633
>>19995675
Not him but thanks, the time more scale looks like the one I need for the flair.

TIMEMORE Black Mirror Plus,
https://amzn.eu/d/3nUmCro

What coffee vessels do you use, /ctg/?
For me, it's the Nesquik bunny vessel with my daily iced Great Value Columbian coffee and Irish cream. If I'm feeling a little frisky with money, I'll splurge on Caribou grounds and drink it hot out of a 32oz woodgrain tumbler.
You can talk about industry-grade equipment and beans till the cows come home, but I'd even go as far to what really matters in the is that the enjoyable grounds really boil down are they're presented.

>>19994431
Oh shit, they added translated subtitles for the international viewers.

In a couple hours I’m going to prepare the FINEST moka goff based liquor and there’s literally nothing you can do to stop me.

I have to brew 10 consecutive moka pots, it will be fun and the whole house will smell of coffee.

I’ll keep you posted.

>>19996600
Goodspeed Mokfrà.

>>19996512
Kek

>>19996480
i have an orange mug with a chipped black rim that came from a Bulleit whiskey gift box, orange is my favorite color so it gets a lot of use
besides that i mostly use a a shallow off-white mug my girlfriend made me that kind of looks like Cuphead's head
i kinda wanna get one of those handmade in Japan wooden cups that someone posted awhile ago but 40+ usd for a cup is hard to justify, even for something that would get daily use

>marmite status:
shattered, nibbled
>coffee status:
brewed, sipped

Holy fuck bros I underestimated the time it takes to make 10 consecutive moka pot brews.
I started 1 hour ago and I’m making the 4th brew out of 10, kek, I have a long night ahead.

>>19997117
why the fuck would you do that?

>>19997126
I’m making coffee liquor and I need 1,2 litres of coffee

>>19997180
grim

>>19996480
I use this mk ceramics cup/mug, and my notnuetral vero espresso glass mostly. The pink cup is twice as big as the vero so it's nice to sip a shot out of a larger glass.

https://tenmokus.com/

I think I'm going to order a tenmoku soon too because they are around the same size and shape as the mk ceramics cup and look beautiful. Also handmade in Japan so they have that niche special authentic factor that the pretentious first worlder in me loves.

>>19997221
>https://tenmokus.com/

>>19997246
Buy it dude, dont you have like a 2000$ machine? Lol

>>19997117
>>19997180
Man, that sounds like hell

>>19997221
Go ask over in the tea thread. They'll be able to point you to some nice jian zhan cups. I asked a few years ago and forgot the response.

>>19995037
panettone bruh

>>19997254
2 more moka brews and I’m done, I’m holding strong.

>brew
>cool moka under cold water
>rinse
>grind and fill
>brew
>repeat

Oxidized coffee oils mix very well with liquor.

>>19997329
lel

>>19997344

>Really want coffee
>it's 11 pm

>>19997559
do it pussy

>>19997559
Decaf?

It’s fucking 5 am in the morning and I’ve finished making this shit.

This better be good, I should make my friends and family pay for these bottles kek.

It will be ready in TWO weeks literally

>>19997622
i hope you taste it before handing your coffee moonshine to your "friends"

>>19997579
I already have insomnia
>>19997590
Don't have.

>>19997633
>taste

lol. Lmao.

>>19997620
30%EtOH
70%mokagoff
?

>>19997622
I am invested in your journey

>>19997674
The ingredients are:

For circa 1 liter of finished liquor

>450 grams of moka pot coffee or espresso
>400 grams of sugar
>250 grams of 96% alcohol
>seeds from 1 vanilla bean
>(optional) cinnamon, orange peel

I added the vanilla seeds with the sugar and mixed with a spoon on low heat to let the sugar melt, turned the stove off and moved the pot away from the stove/fire then added the alcohol when the mixture was still a bit hot (I know I should’ve let it cool down but I didn’t have time and the worst that could happen is that a bit of alcohol evaporates, of course don’t do this if everything is near boiling also because you ruin the coffee).

I also forgot to filter the finished liquor before bottling and therefore some pieces of vanilla bean should be in the bottles. Extra fibers for everyone.

During these hours I filmed some parts of the process with the idea of making a video for my normiegram page (my new japanese friends will appreciate), it will probably be cringe but then again I don’t know how the coffee influencers make their videos without losing the focus on the coffee. Maybe it’s easier with a coffee machine instead of filming a moka over a hot stove.

Well, see you in some hours I need to sleep.

>>19997705
Thank you, I hope you’re enjoying this as much as I’m doing.

TIL you can use coffee grounds in concrete: https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/2023/09/28/australia-coffee-grounds-cement-sustainability/
Journal: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0959652623023636

>>19993956
>>19997780
Nice one, man.

If they make decaffeinated coffee why don't they make delactatated coffee?

>inb4 drink it black
No thanks, I'm not gay.

>>19998513
>Coffee + milk
You will never be a woman

>>19998513
Drink it black

>>19998513
If you don't want to drink your coffee black, you are either drinking shit coffee or you don't like coffee in the first place.

>>19998513
>delactatated coffee
how about uhhhhhh
you don't put lactase in it?
lactaid exists, whiny cunt

What's the point of buying those vaccuum canisters to store coffee beans when the beans usually come in a resealable bag with a degassing valve?

>>19998728
there are special containers that come with degassing valves just pick up one of those

>>19998783
What's the point of picking up one of those when the beans usually come in a resealable bag with a degassing valve?

>>19998788
put it in the container then put in the freezer for long term storage? idk anon how fast are you going through beans?

>>19998788
Don't ask questions, just consume product and then get excited for next products

These coffee videos are truly getting out of hand.

99% of them is just people doing insane and impractical shit that nobody would do in the real world while making sure to film a commercial for all the products involved in the video.

Truly disgusting.

>>19998796
>>19998841
I fucking love Product™, it's my favorite type of product.

>>19998794
Even if you want to freeze your beans, why can't you just leave them in the resealable bag with the degassing valve? What benefit do you get by using a seperate container instead? The only use case I can think of is if you roast your own beans at home, but the number of people who actually do that is probably very small (and you could just save money by reusing one of the bags that a roaster sends you).

>>19998841
Goes to show how much of coffee hobby revolves around appearances and not actual taste and enjoyment of coffee.

>>19998841
How does he intend to clean up?

>>19998910
The only people who actually enjoy coffee are decaf drinkers.

>>19998513
its called lactose free milk you retard

>>19998788
>resealable
less perfect than a jar
also some "vacuum" jars remove more air than you can just by squeezing the bag and "resealing it"

>>19998841
Nothing about that is weird when making espresso. The only weird thing is the fact that he brought all that shit with him in a car instead of a simpler brewing method.

>>19998910
I thought about starting a youtube channel where I review coffee beans, basically dial them for espresso, taste it and give a review but I can't make the slot of time for that on my life and I don't want to show my face on video.
Still we're missing a guy who reviews actual coffee and not just shills gear.

how much koff do yall drink in a day?
ive had 650ml of pourover, about 35g total and i think im gonna go for anoother

>>19997622
>2 more weeks

>>19999388
Not much honestly, two espressos usually.

>>19999400
thats what, like ~36g or something?

>>19999418
34g. And espresso extracts less caffeine than pourover.

Why do coffee threads get so many replies?

>>19999452
because its a hobby

>>19998841
>Look! You can (theoretically) make espresso at your local RV park!
>for when you just have to heckin have that first cuppa!
No person who actually goes camping would ever do this. Way too much work without a full blown camper or motor home. The flair pro 2/jetboil video is about as involved as you could reasonably get innawoods (real innawoods not a fucking campground). The camping faggotry is almost as bad as the coffee faggotry sometimes, this video seriously triggers my autism. Pic unrelated.

>>19997780
Here’s the video :D

Can’t make a webm so, here’s the link with sound: https://litter.catbox.moe/slcpw3.mp4

>>19999373
Mask yourself anon, choose something unique and memorable

I just discovered putting cayenne pepper in coffee. I'm a changed man

>>19999452
It's all the same 4~5 samefags looking for attention

>>19999452
>>19999538
Its what happens to generals

>>19999483
>No person who actually goes camping would ever do this.
i think thats the point
who would even care to watch the video if it was an everyday occurence
>>19999536
thats disgusting
ill have to try it

>>19999514
>black gloves
what did you mean by this?

>>19999595
>tfw there isn’t coffee in the bottles, anon made Molotov cocktails and used gloves to avoid leaving his fingerprints

>>19999612
The trabattischizo is stuck between a rock and a hard place. He wants to bomb nestle like his idol demands but they'll quit sending his dad cups.

>>19999514

>>19999773
That's temporary, it was to test if the bottle holds the liquid inside while upside down (to avoid the sugar crystallizing).

currently looking at kettles and the artisan barista 1L kettle looks perfect for my use cases https://www.theartisanbarista.com.au/products/smart-electric-1-0l-kettle
however I've seen a couple of reports that the temperature overshoots all the time.
does anyone have more information on this one? it doesnt seem to be very popular

>>19999888
>looks perfect for my use cases
which are?

>>19999892
casually brewing pour over coffee, making tea daily, making water hot quick for everyday life
every other kettle i have seen so far does not satisfy my requirements. i dont want something super slow, i want mechanical buttons, i want a beep when the temperature is reached and i want a gooseneck. feel free to recommend me something else

>>19993956
I'm trying to tighten my budget to save for grad school. I love specialty coffee, but I want to cut back and only have it every other day. On off days, I want to consume a more economic option. Are there any good whole bean coffees I can get for <= $10/lb? Pic unrelated.

>>19999904
Tons if you roast your own.

>>19999897
I've had one of these for several years and it works fine
https://www.amazon.com/Electric-Gooseneck-Temperature-Aiheal-Stainless/dp/B0B1MLVMY5

>>19999904
i would just look into tea at that point

>>19999904
only if you roast your own.

>>19999999
What happened to posts 20000000 and 20000001

>>20000032
>>20000000
>>20000001
dunno

>>19999999
Impressive.

>>20000039
lol
does anyone here own a refractometer?

>>20000039
Yeah I found it but thanks just the same.
Should have been a better get.

I need a submissive young wife that I can train to make delicious coffee for me every morning and teach her how to dial in new beans. If I let go of this hope then I might kill myself.

>>19999999
Checked

>>20000069
>>20000041
thanks i just bought new thermal gloves to use when roasting(and cooking too but mostly for my roaster)

>>20000067
Basically me but with cooking more generally. One day, anon.

>>19999514
I love your moka pot anon, it’s really classy.

>>19999514
Let me follow your instagram!

>>20000091
I was this for 1 1/2 years and I got tossed out so I gave up on ever being a wife now

>>20000242
What happened, anon?

Got a DF64v2
Sacrificed about 2 lbs of Costco beans to season the burrs
Brewed some pour-over (it came out a tiny bit bitter, next time I will grind courser)

The true trials and tribulations will begin tomorrow with espresso

Oh hello.

>>20000687
gay

>>20000687
>chai latte
not even coffee you rart

>>19999483
I have and do take a Picopresso innawoods and it's surprisingly not horrendous but a Flair would be mildly hilariously pain in the arse.

>>20000694
Tell the guy who made the template, not me.
I just ranked what was given to me.

>>20000713
an idiotic template for an idiot to use

>>20000687
>no cortado
sorry but you have been banned from this general for life.
have a good day :)

>>20000791
If it were an option it'd probably be in the B tier.

>>20000791
This very much, cortado is king

>>20000848
The only milk drink worth making.

>>20000808
should probably just go ahead and put yourself in B tier, faggot.

>>20000297
Lots of little things built up over time. He never told me any of them until it was too late. It's been almost two years and I wish I could do it all over. He was no angel by far but I'm wiser now. I really miss him, he used to browse /ck/ so sometimes I wonder if he will see my posts. How cringe

>>20000963
He wouldn't recognize you.

>>20000896
Well B tier is a good score so I think I can live with that.

>>20000970
>Well B tier is a good score
b is a 6/10
b is mid
mis is shit
nobody says "this cafe is a B, let's go there for lunch."
a B is "only if there are no other options"

>>20001015
>b is a 6/10
Not even remotely close? 6/10 would be more mid-range / C tier. That's an ass-pull if I've ever seen one.

>>20001060
look at your own chart it has 3 zones
high(A,S)
mid(B,C)
low(D,F)
a mid score on a 1-10 scale is 5 and 6.
which is because all scales have become top heavy where anything below a 7 is garbage.

>>20001080
I mean if you want more specific scores assigned to each one (skipping chai) then fine.
>Cappuccino: 10
>Mocha: 10
>Latte: 9
>Flat White: 8
>Macchiato: 6
>Straight Espresso: 4
>Drip: 1

>>20001168
>Straight Espresso: 4
you dont like coffee
>flat white in B with an 8/10
what fucking world do you live in.

>>19993956
Just chiming in to piss off Texans and Italians at the same time. Made a chili with beans, and am authentic pizza

>>20000969
He would, distinctive cups, set up and whatnot. He kept some I kept some.

>>20001181
ayo wtf cuz

Are superautomatic espresso machines all garbage?
From my experience with them they don’t even pull proper espresso

>>20001231
>Are superautomatic espresso machines all garbage?
pretty much but they exist because they are extremely convenient if you dont really care how your coffee tastes.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iZEM1cC86t8

ill wait for when the thread gets made by someone who isn't the fucking goffee faggot thanks
all fields

>>20001690
>I’m a badge whore but with anons instead of coffee gear

Wtf

>>19997780
I was considering making a copycat of Grand Brulot by cold-infusing Cognac or Armagnac with coffee beans, but I feel like only Panama Geisha would work for something that fancy

>>20002141
it's made with 100% robusta

Why do people in coffee videos always seem to use manual grinders effortlessly?
I use mine and it’s never 100% smooth because it stutters sometimes, I have to stop, rotate backwards a little and start grinding again.
My grinder isn’t shit or cheap, it’s a J-max, so I’m lost when I see these videos and I wonder if it’s the grinder, me or these videos are fake with added sounds.

>>20002490
They cut their footage up

Where do I get decaf light roast?

>>20002580
In the trash, where it belongs

>>19999373
Do it anon.

>but I can't make the slot of time for that on my life
Do it whenever you have some free time. Do it as often or as little as you'd like. Fuck society's expectations of your upload schedule.

>and I don't want to show my face on video.
Awesome. Todd in the Shadows has 10+ years without a face and everyone loves him more for it. We need more anonymous youtubers want to share their passion for a hobby.

>>20002584
Does decaf lightroast taste bad? Is that why it's so hard to find?

>>20002591
>Todd in the Shadows has 10+ years without a face

>>20002490
Its you but also they're probably just using solidly medium roasts so they get pretty espresso footage. Didn't have those issues on my kinu on the lightest roasts I'd throw at it. Just power through.

>>20002615
That picture was posted in 2020.
He started making videos in 2009.
That is, in fact, 10+ years.

>>20002822
Touche
But there's older face reveals of him too

>>20002594
all decaf tastes bad (well, worse)
light roast is mostly purchased by pourover enthusiasts and most of us enjoy caffeine
whereas decaf is mostly purchased by people arent really that into coffee

>>20003172
>whereas decaf is mostly purchased by people arent really that into coffee
decaf is for making covfefe/espresso after 3pm

>>20003181
This desu

>>20003181
>>20003227
sorry i forgot to mention its also for old people
i jest, im sorry you cant enjoy caffeine in the evenings

ANOTHER DAY OF CAYENNE PEPPER IN MY COFFEE

>>20003277
are you grinding up the pepper with your coffee or just sprinkling in flakes

>>20002490
because if you use the right one it is effortless
such as vertically cranked, bench mounted ones.
https://youtu.be/HdsqF83x9rA?feature=shared&t=227
https://youtu.be/FL65i1XhVec?feature=shared&t=366

>>20003288
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dj819Ak97c4

>>20003305
vile

>>20003305
>20 minutes
YES OR NO?

>>20003288
I make the coffee and then just sprinkle the pepper in. I learned about this two days ago so I'm still experimenting. It also makes me shit like nothing else

>>20003330
oh so kinda like putting cinammon on a latte
gross
did you have trouble shitting before

>>20003333
I'm an American. Of course I have trouble shitting. I just shit the cayenne coffee from yesterday and it burns

>>20003336
me too
i just take a psyllium husk supplement every day

>>20003340
Mever heard of that. Gonna look into it. Thanks

>>20003318
yes!

>>20003181
Do you have any recs for decaf. I just want a good one so I can drink coffee more.

>>20003379
havent tried it myself because i love caffeine but im sure this one is good based on everything else ive had from the roaster
https://www.swroasting.coffee/product/colombia-rainbow-ea-decaf-natural/3?cp=true&sa=false&sbp=false&q=false&category_id=2

Damn the Gaggia tamper is terrible, it isn't even the right size.

>>20003427
>using the tamper that came with the machine
lol, lmao

>>20003340
Are you a bottom?

>>20003656
no
i have hemmorhoids

Taiwanese gesha @ roguewave and panama esmerelda @ kurasu
Get em while they're hot.

>>20003924
jej

so my brewista gooseneck kettle arrived today
why did no one tell me that coffee tastes better when using a stainless steel kettle.
i have been using a plastic sunbeam for 2 years

>>20004169
We thought you knew anon. Also I fell victim to my own shilling. Oh well.

>>20003427
It's not even a tamper anon, it's an avant-garde buttplug

>t. just bought a GCP

>>20003293
But that's very clearly contrary to the question he's asking you retard, the youtubers he's talking about are using standard handheld manual grinders, not the bench mounted meme shit you're talking about.

>>20004169
i wouldve figured it goes without saying
happy for you though

How do I get good espresso, /ck/?
I have had espresso from a few different coffee shops and didn’t really enjoy them and I work in a starbucks and our espresso is shit. I’m not even sure what “good” espresso is even supposed to taste like. People tell me good espresso isn’t bitter or sour and that’s all I have ever had was either bitter or sour espresso. I have a machine at home and I’m supposed to dial it in but how the fuck do I do that without knowing how good espresso tastes? I need a good barista to make some espresso, try it himself so he can confirm it’s good, and then let me try some.

>>20004524
it's good if you enjoy it

There's a good chance you might just not like espresso. If you're very autistic about it and you don't think that's true, then I dunno buy a refractometer and work on dialing in with that or something.

>>20004538
I thought I didn’t like it but every time someone who loves espresso is like “why didn’t you like it?”
And I’ll say it was either sour or bitter and they’ll scoff at me and dismissively wave their hand and say I just had bad espresso. I don’t know what to think

>>20004545
Tell them they're being faggots. Some people don't like espresso, it is ultra-concentrated coffee, which means all the flavors (even the ones you might not like) get amplified. Coffee is acidic, concentrated coffee will have concentrated acidity, which where sour flavor comes from. Coffee is also bitter, concentrated coffee will have concentrated bitterness. I'm not saying you definitely don't like espresso, but it is distinctly possible.

>>20004524
Good espresso tastes like the beans you're pulling. You've had shit espresso because you've been drinking the shittiest roastiest blends.
> machine at home
Good equipment will help. The bar for a "good" espresso grinder is about $90 these days,but running shitty beans through a good grinder is only going to make them taste worse.

>>20004559
Thanks for your help. I figured that had to be how espresso just was but all the connoisseurs try to tell me otherwise.
I enjoy regular coffee, and when espresso is cut with milk in like a latte or cappuccino I enjoy it. I guess I should just give up on trying to like straight espresso>>20004559

>>20004570
Is there a recommended bean brand? Or is it something where you need to buy local and fresh for the best effect and can’t really replicate it with grocery store beans?

>>20004570
https://a.co/d/5Q14zab
This is the machine I bought back in 2020. When the government gave us stimulus checks I figured an expensive machine might be a good investment if it stops me from spending stupid amounts per cup for a latte at a cafe

>>20004577
Unless you're just really lucky, the grocery store likely doesn't have any beans worth a fuck, and even if they do they're most likely stale because of the way grocery store supply chains work. I can find one or two actually good brands from semi-local roasters at several grocery stores near me, but the roast date on every bag is always at least like 4 months ago.

Local cafes/roasters are pretty much always your best bet, but you can also look up what generally well-liked roasters in your general area (think like within a few states of where you live) are, and look into ordering directly from them. Pretty much every specialty roaster with any amount of success at this point offers online ordering and usually subscription options, and if they're not shit they send you stuff that was roasted within a day or two of your order.

>>20004587
The grinder on those things is okay at best, and if you're loading the hopper with beans and letting them sit in there they're going stale way before you get through them, assuming the beans were any good to start with.

>>20004577
Check out the pastebin for some different roasters. I like to rec people s&w and everyone has seemed to like him. For you trying to figure things out I'd say grab a bag of The Nuts blend from the medium section and whatever single origin sounds interesting from the lights.
https://www.swroasting.coffee/shop/single-origin-coffees-lighter-roasts-/2
>grocery store beans
>local and fresh
You probably don't have a decent roaster local so ordering in is your best bet. The good thing is that you can buy and try literally anything that sounds interesting. Grocery store/starbucks shit is cheap coffee with all the flavor burnt out of it. Specialty grade single origin coffee is a completely different beast. I'll be ripping shots of that $160/lb geisha I posted earlier as soon as she's good and rested.While you're waiting on some coffee check out this video and poke around that site for a few guides.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T9F3x7hU5O8
https://espressoaf.com/guides/beginner
https://espressoaf.com/guides/puckprep.html
https://espressoaf.com/guides/preferential-extraction.html

>>20004639
>links a fat retard
stop posting here.

>>20004639
>You probably don't have a decent roaster local
What are you basing this on? Unless he lives in the middle of buttfuck nowhere he probably has several local roasters near him.

>>20004545
You are allowed not to like espresso.

>>20004644
i have 2 roasters in my town
both of them are shit.
thenotic where he said DECENT
yeh thats more important than it simply being local.

>>20004652
Sounds like you live in the middle of buttfuck nowhere anon

>>20004641
Kill yourself.

>>20004676
>>20004662
seethe
cope
dilate

>>20004587
> I’m supposed to dial it in
>barista express
So for one your 15bar pump is just fucking you. Try this.
https://espressoaf.com/manufacturers/breville/preinfusion.html

>>20003924
Fucking hilarious !!!!
Almost shit my pants. hahaha

>>20004954
>Almost shit my pants.
Maybe lay off the caffeine, yeah?

>>20001181
>>20003924
Heh.. cute

how fucked is the world that people think coffee tastes like shit but force it down for their daily caffeine.
then they go and add whiskey to coke and say nothing about how shit that tastes.

so this shot smells fruity but im struggling to get past the bitter flavours. or is it sour. its been two years now and i still have no idea what im doing.

>>20003277
Weak bitch
I used to put habanero in my coffee

>>20002197
And? This is a thread occupied by dumb Americans and Brits who consider a weaker brew to be a sign of higher quality, on an imageboard barely known for its cooking skills at all

>>20005362
You are allowed to dislike coffee.

>>20005080
Did you?

>>20003172
It's literally the opposite. Decaf is for people that love coffee so much, they want to drink it in the evenings too.

HOLY
FUCK

I opened the Renato Bosco ‘tone, the sacher one, and this is just beyond amazing.
It’s giga soft and moist, there’s a strong apricot smell that tastes like sex and it’s delicate and balanced, it is another league than the previous chocolate&coffee ‘tone I ate previously and therefore starting from today I will shill Renato Bosco officially.

If you’re in Verona make sure to go to his pizza place to taste pizza like you’ve never seen, it’s like a Michelin star restaurant but for pizza, for an affordable price.

There’s a lack of (((influencers))) promoting his place and that’s a good thing because it means that he doesn’t need to be promoted by these subhumans: https://youtu.be/ceUlcyV_hKM

I wasn't thinking this morning and probably overdosed on caffeine, I drank 5 double shots of espresso.
My first three were just so terrible that I felt like I had to redeem myself by trying again and again.

>>20005639
Listened to a podcast recently where the guest talked about how when he went to college he didn't really understand what espresso was because of where he grew up, so he assumed the coffee machines around campus were just cheaping out by giving you a small dose of coffee. So he'd bring a mug and fill it with espressos and drink two mugfuls of espresso a day for weeks and didn't understand why he was having severed insomnia and heart palpitations.
The point I'm getting at is that if someone survived that you'll survive your 5 double espressos.

>>20005648
Yes I'm being hyperbolic. That said my RHR is usually ~55 and right now it's 94. I'm expecting this to start wearing off soon but for now it's not fun.

Today I will officially begin shilling what I've been shilling for weeks.

>>20005676
I didn’t open that thread, you know my style anon. I would’ve made a nice op with a chef barbato meme with the panettone I intended to shill in the background.

>>20000032

How much value does an espresso machine lose after a year?

>>20005892
It's like a new car, it loses half its value the instant you buy it

>>20005580
Bro caffelab acknowledged you! Basatooo!
Maybe it was even one of the Bernini sistas!!! Mokafrà getting BIG

>>19994081
You’d be surprised
>t. law student

>>20005661
Go to Panera and get a charged lemonade to help you relax

>>20005892
Depends on the machine, some of them actually gain value over time (pretty uncommon) or you could even increase their value if it's moddable and you're not a retard.

>>20005995
I priced mine a little bit below MSRP because it's in great condition and I properly took care of it. no real mods except for a different shower screen screw that's more flush.

>>20006011
What is it? Depending on your answer you are a dirty jew

>>20006013
I posted it last night and I already have a buyer. I'm winning.

>>20006028
Answer the question, Schlomo

>>20005930
Kek, they always like my pictures when I tag them and repost my videos/pictures in their stories (as well as other people’s), it’s a win win because I sponsor them and they sponsor me, albeit for 24 hours.

After 48 hours 178 people saw that video but I still have 6 followers, I’m not mad but I definitely need to make better videos. It’s so much work and can’t do miracles by filming a moka over a hot stove. Hmm.

Maybe it’s time to use the Zwilling cuppas.

I think I will forefo the cayenne pepper in my coffee today

>>20005560
that group is extremely small
i dont think decaf is manufactured for them, its just convenient for them

>been having trouble sleeping the past week
>now realize it is because I've been drinking 3+ cups of coffee/shots of espresso in the mornings when for the past few years it has been 2 or less

...Fuck me I am an utter retard.

Bros, i did some consoooming today.
New ceramics dosing tray and smol cuppa (75ml).
Friendly budget dopamine hit, 3,95.- for the tray and 5,95.- for the cuppa.
Decaf goff because i luv bean juice, at all hours.

>>20006135
Those look nice, I just grabbed a set of these to go with my new machine, they're a bit narrow to use with my machine's stock spouted portafilter so I'm waiting for my bottomless one to get in next week

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CC5HFCHK

>>20006149
Really comfy too.
In case you have a double spouted portafilter, you can unscrew the double spout leaving you with more room for bigger cuppas, and also allows for narrow cuppas.

>>20005520
Shit my pants? Not recently, no. Lower my caffeine intake? Yes. I consume caffeinated beverages four times a week at most, and I have a bag of decaf beans for the evenings. Violate your mother? No, I would never. It was all consensual.

What are everyone’s thoughts on the Chemex?

>>20005639
ive done the same thing but with pourovers
its so easy to fuck up that first cup when youre groggy
>>20005362
kinda fucked, its just another symptom modern society being built on colonial commerce
thats why i really dissapprove of roasters who focus their branding on caffeine content or how coffee helps you "do things"
and of instant in general
it enncourages viewing coffee as a narcotic to medicate with rather than a delicious beverage to be enjoyed
thanks for reading my blog
>>20006314
seems a might overpriced for such a breakable pourover vessel
it does look real nice though but i cant imagine it brews any better than any other conical brewer

>>20006135
Looks real nice, and not pricey either.
I gotta get me some decaf.
>mfw I just realized my gf is getting into pottery and I could probably ask her to make me espresso-related stuff like this

Bros, i'm sorry but i lied.
I also bought the cappuccino cuppa for 7,95.- (200ml).

>>20006346
Decaf allows me to enjoy coffee but still have untroubled sleep. Absolute godsend for coffee lovers.

>traveling for work Mon-Thu
>sour cortado in St Paul
>two lattes with burnt milk in Indianapolis
>didn't even bother on the third day there
>tfw that first sip of my espresso at home this morning

>>20006541
I feel like I'd drink a ton of it if it tasted decent. I still have like a kilo of beans to go through, though, so I'll have to wait a bit.

>>20006200
it's the stock gaggia double spouted one, I looked at whether the spout would come off easily but couldn't tell if it was a single piece or not so I didn't fuck with it. Like I said I've got a bottomless one on the way already so I'm not too worried about it.

>>20006541
big comf

>>20006314
my thoughts on the chemex are hoffmanns thoughts on the chemex

>>20006314
Just seems like a way more inconvenient V60 marketed to hipsters tbdesu

Got a keurig machine for free. The water is only Around 70°C. How do people live with this? It's not even good for tea.

>>20006823
>The water is only Around 70°C.
Can this be a reason you got it for free?

Had a Starbucks double shot of espresso, tastes completely different than the delicious precise made with love espresso I pull at home. Had no sweetness whatsoever, what quite harsh but still somewhat enjoyable, sort of what like a cigarette tastes like to a smoker. Not good but obviously satisfying.

What's the difference between the 58mm and 58.xx mm tampers? For a 58mm portafilter you should get a 58mm tamper right?

>>20007288
I find it so weird that Starbucks espresso is so shit. Their Machines do everything for them so you don't have to worry about a barista fucking up. And they're calibrated every few hours.
Shouldn't it be more consistently good than a manual pulled shot?

>>20007305
For a 58mm portafilter get a 58.xx mm tamper

>>19993956
what's the optimal senior sized latte/capuccino cup? I like it 50% coffe or more, with sugar, for the office

>>20007306
They're bean to cup machines, they're fundamentally shit because of the way they work. Hoffmeme had an entire video going over why and trying to figure out how close to good he could get one to perform, and Starbucks isn't putting all that effort in because why would they? Their customers just want a milkshake with 18 pumps of sugar syrup and a slight hint of caffeine.

>>20007381
At this point why not just fake the bean grinding and throw in coffee flavored syrup?
It will be far cheaper than wasting all that money on whole bean.

>>19993956
Any fellow ode 2 users? What grind level do you like? I'm new to using it and am trying out the different levels

>>20007582
don't you have anything better to do?

What are everyone's thoughts on the hario switch?

>>20007604
I have a kalita and a v60 so I see no point for a third device

>>20007604
I bought one on a whim because they were going cheap and I actually really fucking like it.

>>20007617
How cheap?

>>20007604
It's a neat brewer but when I'm making pourover I'm doing like 750mL batches so it's just not big enough for my needs unfortunately

>>20007604
I only make coffee for myself so it's perfect.

>>20007620
$27AUD so like 20USD. Not sure what that's like in other markets but in Australia it was a bit of a steal

im surprised i used to watch hoffmann. theres very little to any of his recent videos.

>>20007706
what

>>20005580
I love Italy so much bros

i have been wondering lately, are there coffee machines that emulate the pour over process? you know, the circular pour over motion, bloom phase, etc

Anyone have that webm of a fat fuck (brit?) devouring like 10 meals in a day just munching like an animal

>>20008106
There are some (I think they're called pour over robots or automatic pour over machines). Although they're a product that doesn't really have a market, there is very little overlap between people who want automatic coffee and people who want good pour over coffee.

>>20008231
mhmh yes i see what you mean

>>20008160
you mean the one that starts with "breakfast (full english)"?
maybe ask /brit/ they should have it

NEW CUPPA:
>>20008701
>>20008701
>>20008701

>>20007878
My country won’t last for long, in 10 years it will be unrecognizable, so indulge now while you can.

>>20008730
Already went back to Turin after a few years, it's sad to see. Feels like any big french city

I think I'll forego cayenne pepper in my coffee permanently. It was interesting but i cant do that every day