/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>19838200

>>19838200

>>19838200
FUCK!! I could feel HIS heart pounding in MY ears when that ranch dressing went on...

>>19838235

>>19838248

>>19838248
Your weird dog has fleas.

>>19838209
how is he able to leave it?

>>19838209
I’ve been seeing this stupid egg video for so long. Why even post it? It’s not fun to watch or appetizing or really anything.

>>19838268
It's a bot, anon. The webm thread is a bot thread. Always has been. It's this way on every board.

>>19838268

>>19838268
newfag

>>19838235
Why did he do it bros

>>19838267
My favorite hypothesis is that he has to eat all the eggs. But IDK for sure.

>>19838268
did you know there was a part 2

>>19838454
Absolute zozzle

>>19838434
why is it always bud light and not budweiser? is it because they're gay?

>>19838433
is this supposed to be like a lot of food?

>>19838700
probably got it on sale when stores were putting it 50% off after the incident

>>19838433
mmm yeah let me get that sauce all over my fucking fingers

>>19838434
is that a laundry basket

>>19838814
yo what the duck doin

>>19838814
>>19838817
>>19838820
finally the thread can begin

>>19838235
>hey alexa, play Adam's Song

I post Jack because I genuinely believe he won't be with us in six months or so.

>>19838850
good riddance, you faggots have spammed his rage bait for literally a decade.

>>19838261
This is how I cut garlic
I want to improve my knife skills but I don't know how

>>19838830
he want som sammich

>>19838200
How is this not meme'd to hell and back with screen edits?

>>19838889
People are too lazy idk I guess you could have him making a 4chan post about his waifu

>>19838700
full beer can overpower the flavor in a tub that size

>>19838820
TFW the cheese is sharper than the knife.

>>19838209
Why doesn't he get out?

>>19838866
use a cutting board that doesnt move when your cutting and get a real kitchen knife, use the flat side to smash the cloves so they dont roll around, build your confidence just using the knife hand to rock the knife up and down and later you can line up multiple cloves with the other hand.

This thread will be fine until pajeet shows up to shit in our streets. Then it’ll be time to be mad

>>19838433
The young one looks cute when she eats, like a little squirrel. Come here little squirrel, daddy has a nut that's ready to bust for you ;-)

>>19838820
>>19838817
>>19838814
>>19838829
>>19838850
I’m the kind of person who’s like “I’m fine going to jail as long as that shit fuck is dead” despite full knowing he will die from his atrocious cooking and probably another stroke
>>19838935
Do you see the knife anon. You know it’s a dog shit knife because it has holes in it

>>19838850
dont need a reason to post jack round these parts, son

>>19838200

>>19838209
how does he get out?

>>19838806
Looks like the shit your aunt would show up with to the potluck in the 1950s. I'm just glad it isn't gelatinned

>>19838751
Just the onion is one day's worth of calories for a normal sized woman

>>19838784
Dude why do these binge eaters not have table manners

>>19838454
Can confirm he eats all the eggs, this is true.
t. egg.

>>19838434
Waste of money

>>19838235
>Witness me!

>>19838784
Dont worry. Ill lick em' clean

>>19838209
Without breaking out how does he get all the eggs?

>>19838289
how does he get out??

>>19838895
I want to eat her ass so badly

>>19838433
>Doesn't combine the meat with anything but gravy
Gay

shit thread as usual

>>19838850
What in the fuck is that

>>19839027
Based, I love him.

>>19838616
Comfy, altho that's a lot of sugar.
>tfw no kid to cook for

>>19838806
Guy walks up to a Buddhist hotdog stand and says "make me one with everything"

>>19839742
After they both have a good chuckle he gets his 'dog and pays with a 20.
Once he's done eating he realises something, however.
"Hey! I didn't get my change!"
To which the Buddhist hotdog vendor responds; "Change can only come from within"

>>19839742
Notice how she doesn't even try to bite into that disgusting pile of slop.

>>19839742
She cute. I have a thing for shiksa in job uniform. Wagiette get me hard.

>>19839774
I like the mouse ears

>>19839783
Fucking retard man

>>19839461
You have to eat all the eggs.

>>19839742
imagine the farts

>>19839783
I wish someone would treat me like that

>>19838434
That's actually very little beer for a stew

>>19839742
Those are the types of girls you think you want when you're young, and I suppose she would make a good wife, but then the more you get to know her and her friends, and her family, likes and dislikes, the more you realize that you need the bad bitch. The body count doesn't matter anymore, jealousy and insecurities melt away the moment you realize that you don't want, you NEED a girl that always has a pissed off look on her face who throws your car keys into the neighbor's yard because you went out with your friends from work and you didn't take her. She hates your mother, and your mother hates her, but dad pulls you aside and gives you that smile, knowing that you followed your dreams no matter the cost; he raised a good son. For in order to enjoy bodily warmth, some small part of you must be cold.

>>19839308
wait until you find out the aussie cheese fries have 2620 calories and 7490 mg of sodium

>>19840280
speak for yourself, i've had enough bpdemons to last me a lifetime

>>19840303
>thinking a qt trad chickfila cunt cant be a yandere bpdemon

>>19840312
Yeah...and sometimes that shit doesn't kick in until they pop out a kid and then it's like CRAAAZY shit. My good friend and neighbor called me one day and asked me if I could run over to his house and stop his wife from drowning their kid...I was like WTF?? Turns out she face timed him as she was preparing Jr's "final bath" and that then she was going to get in the tub and slit her wrists. That was a sad day. I had to pretend I wasn't home and that always bothered me. She didn't kill the kid though, or herself; the cops showed up really fast.

>>19840380
Shit was that post pardum depression or something? The get divorced?

>>19840380
>I had to pretend I wasn't home

>>19840391
>was that post pardum depression
Yeah and there were other instances too, he later revealed. The crazy part is that she got pregnant again and then that baby like undid it and she's normal now. I mean, she's always been a little bit off from my vantage point, but that's just because she was like this 50s housewife wannabe but everything about it was twisted. Like when they moved in, SHE brought us some casserole to welcome herself into the neighborhood, and immediately wanted to schedule a playdate with my kids. My wife (remember the bad bitch) literally told my 10 year old that if she ever sees him even looking at that house that she's going to go over there with a shotgun and blow her head off. I'm also not really allowed to talk to him anymore, I mean I CAN, but she finally figured out my kryptonite a long time ago, which is getting a very slow blow job while watching a game on tv....looking up at me the whole time and then she gargles my jizz and like plays around with it in her mouth for a while—look I don't want to get off topic here, but I'm sure you fine gentlemen can understand how a man wouldn't want to compromise such delicacies, and damn can that bitch hold a grudge. I once went almost a whole season with a blowjob because I lied about a bonus I got at work. On thanksgiving (bitch can cook like you wouldn't believe) she thankfully blew me in the kitchen....btw with that said, I really recommend blowjobs/sex in a hot kitchen with every burner turned on and a turkey in the oven. That mascara running down her sweaty face caused me to have like one of those orgasms where everything goes black for a second because it's so good. And then of course the food; fucking stovetop up the ass with champagne and just prize winning Thanksgiving food while she rubbed her foot on my crotch as I ate.

She's just wonderful. I'd show a picture, but fuck that. She does kind of look like Elizabeth Gillies only with sleeve tattoos (I like it) and really tall.

>>19840451
>/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>19838433
asian women look like fucking ghouls

>>19838209
But how does he get in?

>>19838289
I'll give you 20 bucks for one minute in the egg room.

>>>19838248
>shlorp shlorp shlorp shlorp

>>19840852
for what purpose?

>>19840874

>>19840885
kek

E
EGG
G

>>19840900
ha to much egg, am to stupid to post right

>>19840909
am out and off to bed

>>19840893
I think out of all forms of technology industrial cooking ones are the most impressive
My uncle has his own consulting business and was hired by a company that sells bags of mixed seeds seeking for a way to figure out exactly how many of each seeds ended up in every package

>>19841285
Fucking Americans. Two nukes weren't enough.

>>19838775
the incident being that they sent a beer to a trans person.
it's pretty crazy after the fact how huge of a deal that was for people. I don't really get it, I mean it's fucking bud light.

>>19840895
But why

Are there any funny, webm-able scenes from Jack's latest videos? I haven't watched since his... third? stroke

>>19840874
I thought octopus have barbs in their tentacles, how does he not get one caught in his hand?

>>19841364
iirc it was from a German tv show and it was a bit they were playing.

>>19841364
Ah yes "Pures Leben", a classic American TV show

>>19840380
as an anonymous person that you'll never meet I am proud to say that you are a coward

>>19838235
good thing his death was fast and delicious

>>19838268
the people who post it look like this guy >>19838200

>>19841285
do germans really?

>>19838200
Ive just learnt of the barfly7777 menace.
Do you guys have other webms?

>>19841790

>>19838235
What's the vegan's stance on the animal committing suicide?

>>19841383
It was more funny seeing leftists defend a beer that they wouldn't be caught dead drinking but trying their damndest to reverse-psychology rural americans into buying it

>>19838889
It hits to close to home for too many anons

>>19839746
has there been any accident related to such cutter
looking at it gives me some funny thought

>>19841870
Modern bandsaws have a GFCI the operator clips on that instantly stops the blade if they make contact

>>19841790
imagine the cum stains by using that pillow

>>19838200
his house is too clean

>>19841824
watching them throw a legendary hissy fit over it was way better are you kidding.
they were filming themselves destroying all their bud light and going into stores and throwing all the bud light on the ground, it was hilarious.
your rural idiots are on another level, we have rural folk here of course but I swear it's like yours all have lead poisoning or something.

>>19841962
being a fat slob doesnt mean you are a hoarder who never throws out trash

>>19842034
proofs?

>>19842044
one does not require the other.

There are skinny hoarders who dont overeat

>>19841917
Correct me if I'm wrong, but that wouldn't work in this context.
Meat and human flesh are going to have the same conductivity, so there wouldn't be a fault.
Those types of breakers only work on wood or metal saws where there is a definite conductivity difference between the cutting medium and human flesh.

>>19841795
Longer

>>19842147
this dude must have a godly immune system

>>19841795
kek not my problem

>>19840451
What the fuck are you on about dude

>>19841430
Colored "people" culture

You fucking losers post the same webms in every thread. FAT FUCKS SHOW ME NEW WEBMS

>>19842254
make them

>>19838895
people who nod after every bite deserve to be garrotted.

>>19841430
because he's a little dork, fucking loser cried like a little bitch too

>>19842266
she was in front of a crowd i guess she had to ham it up

>>19842268
did I stutter?

>>19841285
do americans really?

>>19840380
>I had to pretend I wasn't home
Hahaha you cunt

>>19841430
Brownoids and whites with mixed blood are animals that are ready to turn violent at any time. Just look at literally any brown country, they are all violent shitholes.

>>19841629
It's a German tv show about americans. Tvs don't only show people from the country they are in dumbass

>>19841285
Why do fatties have so much clutter in the house?

>>19842316
the polnigglet ruined another webm thread by spamming the same shit

>>19842366
so post OC if you are starving for new webms

>pol gf faggot ruining another thread
can someone ban this dull loser already

>>19842369
Nooo dont post webms in the webm thread thats illegal!

>>19842392
Thats fucking raw

>>19842396
Who are you? Gordon Ramsey?

Its just cooked rare anon

>>19842398
I'll eat blue steaks but that mince is just flatout raw.

>>19842402
once its not bleeding its safe to eat anon.

I passed SafeServe

>>19838434
YES LAWD

>>19838616
WHAT CUZ SAY?
IF YOU AINT SNEEZIN IT AINT SEASONED

>>19838850
WHAT IN THE FUCK IS THIS BULLSHIT??

>>19842325
That pizza looks fucking amazing, I need it.

>>19840888
damn never knew eggs are made like that

>>19842366
Stop being non-White and become a human.

>>19838434
>$40 of beer
>$100 of spices
>to boil $10 worth of veg, $5 worth of sausages and $20 worth of prawns
no wonder these retards are broke

>>19842387
>You will never eat her mud and then eat her muff

>>19839783
why the fuck do they insist on using a cleaver for everything?

>>19840670
gross but what do you call that tub untensil thing they used to coat it in the powder after the batter?

>>19842511
they're morons

>>19838289
If I lived in that room, I would just eat eggs.

>>19839783
>taps knife

>>19838261
what a beautiful woman.

>>19842387
the heat of the sun cooks the mud

>>19838850
What's going to happen to him?
t. doesn't keep up with jack

>>19842511
It's not a cleaver.

>>19842732
what the fuck dish is this even supposed to be?

>>19842967
Taco soup, I think

>>19840451
>>19840380
The most sane line cook.

>>19838254
too cute <3

>>19842990
Poor Taco. Is this her way of letting him know the swimming pool is still dirty?

>>19839027
This is fantastic - they need to give thus man a pedal for turning on the butter to let him work even faster

>>19840280
You speak truth as much as we may hate to admit it - the sex will be better 5 years from now with the girl that sets your truck on fire

>>19841430
He brought shame to his village

>>19842299
>canned hotdogs
>American
Why are Germans so dishonest?

>>19842776
He's got a death rattle going on, he won't make it another year

>>19842320
Some godly tits tho

>>19843074
lmao
The doc said that because he knew there's nothing he can do to save that retard

>>19838820
>holding the block of cheese like its veggies
the man is just a little confused

>>19843098
It was an ENT too, probably could say how grim it was because he wasn't responsible for his overall health. Of course Jack also doesn't get that people in the South say things like "God bless" and "bless your heart" as a backhanded insult in scenarios like this either

>>19843194
Anon death rattles only precede imminent death hes just fat and wheezing.

Imagine the sticky when he does die though. Gonna buy a t shirt or something to help his senpai out

>>19842776
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZRh1yCwN1w&t=358s
Hes had like 4 strokes in 10 years, gets told he is diabetic and still eats sloppa

>>19842990
I thought something similar until the fucking sweet potatoes came in

>>19843013

>>19843216
>hes just fat and wheezing.
No, he sounds a lot worse after his last stroke. That's how my grandpa sounded after he had one.

>>19843369
imagine the shits

>>19843359
Well, everyone is allowed to adjust recipes to their preferences, I think adding an extra ingredient to your soup is okay

>>19843078
did the water empty out all the poop?

>>19842326
is that lulu chu?
is that porn?
sauce?

>>19843465
Anon not every Asian woman is your pornfu

>>19838814
how do these creatures run the modern world?
mutts make fruit flies look like geniuses

>>19841798
Internalized speciesism

>>19842338
is she retarded or something?

>>19838850
the fuck is that play-doh looking orange crap?

>>19843473
Jack is a useless eater, he doesn't run anything

>>19843473
It's like .1 % of americans that run anything. The rest is cattle to consume and die.

>>19843497
It's porn.

>>19843369
you got a leaky cow there mister

>>19841790
i dont get this
if you want accommodation with a kitchen why not just stay in a hostel?

>>19842912
>is a cleaver
>says it isnt a cleaver

>>19843736
He just wants to make those videos for attention

>>19843740
If you try to cleave bones with that thing you'll destroy it, it's just a tall chef's knife.

>>19842332
there is no way those garbage eaters taste good but I kinda want to try it anyway

>>19838433
Repulsive

>>19840451
m8 you're married to an actual succubus

>>19841600
>>19841629
>every time

>>19838434
>all those dirty ass coon hands touching the food
none for me, thanks

>>19842539
Your English vocabulary word of the day is: Bowl.

>>19839742
is it me or does the polynesian sauce literally taste like nothing

Happy spooktober. ;)

>>19842299
that woman literally speaks german in the clip

>>19838434
>>19842435
>WATCHU KNOW BOUT DAT PAPRIKA

>>19841994
>my rednecks let the world get worse therefore im better

>>19842316
How does he do it so efficiently, I'm stumped

>>19838200

>>19844817
deserved

>>19840280
>>19840380
>>19840451
holy fuckin schizo shut the fuck up

>>19844774
Looks a little strange byt would prolly taste good

>>19844774
You just know someone is going to start eating that "dip" with a spoon. I bet that was the initial intent.

>>19839742
>>19839783
She looks like an elf. Really pretty. I fall in love with chikfila girls everytime I go there. I do not go there often.

>>19844817
Why boil alive?

>>19842316
There's something off, but i just can't put my finger on it.

>>19844944
freshness

>>19839742
She looks like she's going to go bald early

>>19842912
What is it then?

>>19840451

>>19844966
And I'll stick with her through thick and thin.

>>19844817
snibbety snab XD

>>19840380
>>19840451
what the fuck man

>>19840895
KEK DAT LIL BROKE ASS JIT FINNA DUNKED ON

>>19842320
That sort of drunk is the best

>>19840451
Almost good. But you fucked up the believability when you had your wife blow you in the kitchen during thanksgiving while you have a 10yo kid.
You need to make it during a normal dinner, when the kids are at a friends house.

>>19843736
Business trips usually involve designated hotels.

>>19842387
>homecooked
>cooked

>>19839774
that's a yenta bro, look at the schnoz
that ain't a gentile lady

>>19838434
I can literally cook all that in a pan and save a shit load of money on spices. EBT must be nice. I’m glad the government cut the funding and gave it to the Jews. At least they spend it better.

>>19842341
Why are these not biting the fuck out of her?

>>19842387
I’m not even into black chicks but I really wanna knead her mud pie.

>>19842732
>cooks meat first
>doesn’t sauté onions
>adds water
>adds potatoes
>frozen corn to make sure the temperature is fucked
This bitch might be retarded and somehow has a cook book

>>19838434
Ingredient no. 1
>liquid AIDS

>>19841383
Normal people don't like faggot shit. Us being nice about queers flaunting their faggotry has only emboldened them to the point that they're openly degenerate and uppity now if you don't bow down to them. We've had enough. They forget that they're less than 3% of the population.

>>19842316
I hope he washed his hands

>>19842333
Truly a repulsive "people". Their language sounds as trollish as their whimsical little names.

>>19842337
Why are women like this?

>>19840852
this webm made me want to kill myself

>>19838866
>Retard can't google kitchen knife skills
You're just a lazy retard

>>19838261
>that weird reflex where she twists the knife as she cuts
this is a woman who has been using dull-as-shit knives her entire life, the twist is to separate pieces that haven’t been cut all the way through.

>>19844971
It's just a normal chef's knife that's very tall to make julienning large piles of vegetables more convenient, called a caidao.

>>19844774
>little debbie
probably hambeast debbie by the looks of ingredients

>>19840864
To prove that women aren't funny.

>>19842316
>>19842318
>>19842320
>>19842324
>>19842325
>>19842326
>>19842327
>>19842330
>>19842333
>>19842336
>>19842341
>>19842382
>>19842387
Jew.

>>19844774
Those "cakes" don't taste like anything but sugar. The only thing they add to this is bits of soggy bread.
You'd be better off leaving them out and just making a fucking cream cheese frosting.

>>19845408
isnt cooking meat first good thing? creates fond and if cooked later other vegetable get in the way of creating good surface area to brown the meat

>>19846130
j-jew too

>>19845963
I thought that was cheese for the entire first 30 seconds and now I don't even know what it was

>>19846231
Lotus root.

>>19838433
I'm getting sick of these tiktok trends of people eating a lot of greasy food "for a day" and they are obviously wasting the food by just spitting it out between cuts. Not a single confirmed swallow in that entire video, they just chew for a few moments, spit it out, and then edit the whole thing afterwards. Guaranteed that every scrap of food in that vid all went in the garbage.

>>19840283
>7490 mg of sodium
HOW
O
W

And how is it edible?

>>19845383
severing the head kills it instantly. A lot of bugs have a cower reaction to giants like us being near them

>>19845683
thats a porno

>>19846277
all the salt and seasoning in the batter

>>19838829
>drop a pack of mascarpone on a pre-made tart bottom
I mean, it felt like such a cool cooking hack when I done it for the first time...

>>19838261
Does anyone have the youtube link to the video?

>>19846231
Winter bamboo shoot.

>>19838244
what a fucking retard

>>19838434
why do leftists think that monkeys are people?

>>19838433
One of the shittiest franchises. Gives Texas a bad name. Bring them Azn ladies to Ft. Worth and I'll show show them some real BBQ and some BBC too. Especially her mama. Love me some geriatric yellowtail.

>>19844774
>fingernails painted specifically to look like they’re dirty
He will never be a woman

>>19838248
snekbros......we won

>>19838850
I've believed this constantly since I started browsing /ck/ four years ago and first heard of Jack Scalfani. I very much believed it after the last stroke, yet he persists. With Tammy and Christ by his side, Ja/ck/ is unstoppable.

>>19843827
Scraping the outside like burnt toast is an interesting way to handle the feathers and skin. Pigeons are still probably bad for you.

>>19841795

>>19844988
snibb snibb :DDDDDD

>>19840451
yeah so I'm just not gonna read that haha

>>19838814
>>19838817
>>19838820
>>19838829
>>19838850
thanks for putting skip in the filename

>>19839027
tom you're getting popcorn all over the ground you never help clean up

>>19839746
this guy is playing around for the camera like an idiot. If you do this 8 hours a day everyday you're going to lose fingers

>>19838850
all that canned veggies must have an ass ton of salt. Some of it must get boiled away in the crock pot but still

>>19842375
>Pictures all the itarians screaming in protest as she snaps their necks
Based

>>19842336
i want to eat squeeze and suck her boobs

>>19839746
>slips on some blood on the floor
>gets cut in half

>>19839027
He looks like he doesn't want to be there, but I respect his dedication to the craft.

>>19840280
>I like stupid cunts that ruin my life
Okay retard. Enjoy romanticizing your future syphilis infection.

>>19842147
That's so disgusting that it makes me want to leak documents critical to national security.

>>19838433
Why do Asian women look so disgusting when they eat?
Is that why Japanese women cover their mouth when they chew?

>>19839742
She has a very cute smile but I really hope that she doesn't eat the slop that she sells. A good mother sure wouldn't.

>>19842318
I'd let her slurp my sausage if you see what I mean.

>>19847952
for the chinese its because Mao killed off any semblance of manners in the country

>>19842396
So what? It's beef.

>>19846730
It's not paint, it's fake acrylic nails glued on top of the normal nail.
Usually forbidden in kitchens because a lot of bacteria develop between the two.

>>19838820
isnt this legitimate low iq activities

>>19847994
Anon Jack posts here and knows his brand is being a memetuber who is bad at cooking he does this and makes gifs to get attention and clicks

>>19846180
Always start with onions

>>19848142
>>19848144
god i love drunk white girls so much.

>>19838261
exactly like my mother. I bought her a $100 knife and she doesn't use because she has a fear of cutting herself ever since I got a really big cut while opening a coconut when she was alone at home and had to call an ambulance. God bless her though. Always cooks and makes the best food I've ever tasted.

>>19839742
>ZESTY Buffalo

huh? Does everything in America have to be gay?

>>19844977
She already thick, so I'm halfway there

>>19842539
Looks like a salad shaker I think
>>19844285
After the bowl

>>19848291
Can anyone tell what she ate from her puke?

>>19848861
looks like she drank a lot of red wine at least.