/ck/ - Food & Cooking

you're exploiting someone's grief to parade your culinary expertise?

give them the richest, spiciest, boldest dish you can muster.

but i supposed it depends on the bereaved one's culture. in my white people culture, we have sandwiches, a quiche, and maybe even a cheeseboard.

>>19760549
Pizza party and a birthday cake. A magician would also be nice

>>19760549
What a great idea anon, you can convince people you're a good chef by hitting them with your finest dish when they're emotionally vulnerable. I recommend chocolate ice cream with gummy worms in it, call it worms in dirt because that's where grandma is now. Kill yourself you freak.

>>19760612
>Pizza party
The office I work in has had several deaths in the last few years and usually we have an office pizza party funeral afterwards. It's become a macabre joke at work but apparently leadership doesnt know that yet because we keep having them.

I feel like this would have been a good episode of seinfeld

>>19760630
NOBODY APPRECIATED MY CREAM SAUCE JERRY! I SLAVED OVER IT FOR HOURS!

>>19760638
>>19760630
>They'll never guess the secret ingredient is nutmeg
>DID YOU SAY NUTMEG? I'M ALLERGIC TO NUTMEG
Bow bid bow bah

>>19760638
>>19760651
i read that in their voices. thanks

>>19760549
whats wrong with his fingers

>>19760651
>cook for mourning family
>family is allergic to food
>someone dies
well, looks like ill have to start planning another menu Jerry!

>>19760549
The amount of AI shart spam on every board these last 3 days have reached unbearable levels. Kindly kill yourselves you putrid shitskins

>>19760736
f u i spent time getting stable diffusion running on my shitty amd card

>>19760549
For me? It's funeral potatoes

>>19760899
This is the only answer. It doesn't matter if 2, 4, or 7 people brought funeral potatoes, they'll all be eaten up one after the other unless you're some weird hipster stoner reject who makes them with Doritos or something gayer like Hot Cheetos.

I hate you and your AI image. I'd say I'd wish you'd die but I'm not sure if that is possible, you may be part of a wave of agitprop drones currently hitting the airwaves.

>>19760628
why do i feel like i read a post describing the same thing like 2 years ago

>>19760549
>I hear a lot of people bring food to people who have had a dead person in their family,
mark zuckbot is that you?
>What are the "rules" with bring funeral foods? Should I avoid any spicy-heat dishes?
yes

>>19760621
>dirt cake with zombie hand coming out of themed grave with edible tombstone decoration
mmmm

>>19761633
wouldn't wanna mess with that

>>19760758
I truly hope it catches fire during the night and you burn to death in the resulting housefire

>>19761164
I have relayed my professional life's numerous hilariously tragic losses on /ck/ a few times because the whole ordeal is so surreal and weirdly comical so that's probably what you saw. I usually don't bother writing the whole saga out anymore because so many anons have seen it but myself and my coworkers still chuckle at the mention of a pizza party all the time.

>>19760549
Every night I pray for a final solution to tech bros. AI was a mistake. Digital technology was a mistake.

>>19760628
>>19763187
Is this not a parks and rec episode

>>19763912
it is 100% true. Since 2020 these are the people my office and the same agency offices within a 50 mile radius have lost by how they died, in order:
>suicide
>suicide
>heart attack/car crash
>brain tumor
>drowned in grand canyon
>snowmobile crash/avalanche, didn't find the body for 6 months
>snow tubing accident
>suicide
And depending on how well liked the person was, we have a pizza party funeral afterwards. There was one pizza party in particular that will always be one of the funniest events in my life that involved ranch and guns and autism but I wont bother writing it out again unless someone cares.

>>19760607
>you're exploiting someone's grief to parade your culinary expertise?

yes. yes I am.

>>19760549
>I'm thinkin this would be a great opportunity to showcase my cooking skills.
HOLY FUCK!
Some friend or aquaintance has a death in the family, and all can think about is trying to impress them with your cooking?
>Sociopath test=FAIL
I have nothing else to say to a shallow, soulless AI B0t like yourself...

>>19760549
You got me
I've been to lots of funerals but never heard of funeral food, must be a midwest thing

>>19764719
>snow tubing accident
How? Those hills are basically bunny slopes with narrow straight paths and 'walls' so the tubes can't go anywhere.

>>19764777
woman moment, who gives a shit, its usually a relief when somebody dies because they were old and decrepit or rotting from cancer or whatever. may as well get something good out of it.

>>19765901
It's actually an ancient thing (which admittedly some Midwesterners have preserved better than most Americans, although they have largely lost touch with the "why"). OP's attempted contribution will be awkward not only because of his egocentric motivation, but because he is outside the greater context.

>>19765921
>woman moment, who gives a shit, its usually a relief when somebody dies because they were old and decrepit or rotting from cancer or whatever. may as well get something good out of it.
I can't tell if this is meant to be an insult or an admission that you are a woman (or a crossdressing man that self-identifies as a woman) that is trying to impress someone with your cooking.

>>19765963
Insult, the suggestion is that the other poster whose point is "but aren't you just SO SAD?? how can you even think of cooking right now!" is expressing an implicitly feminine point of view. Now, it's possible that they are not and will never be a woman and they are merely mentally feminized by the usual endocrine disruptors or willful administration of hormones etc, but the point is the same regardless.

>>19765917
I honestly don't know. Apparently the guy who was a pretty high up employee had been tubing all afternoon and the fatal run was the "one last" go before going home for the day. All I heard was that he somehow managed to slam into a concrete wall and was pretty much immediately killed. I haven't been to the area it happened in but I assume there was a bathroom or some other small building at the bottom and he somehow managed to get far enough off course to hit it. He was one of two people on the list I didn't actually know.

>>19760549
The only funeral food that I know of is going to the bakery and buying pan dulce like a normal person. And that’s only because of a proverb

It’s not about you and cooking for other people for attention is creepy. I would beat your ass.

>>19764719
>And depending on how well liked the person was, we have a pizza party funeral afterwards. There was one pizza party in particular that will always be one of the funniest events in my life that involved ranch and guns and autism but I wont bother writing it out again unless someone cares.
pls tell

make them comfort food- stew, soup, casseroles, etc

>>19764719
>But I wont bother writing it out again unless someone cares.
I care

>>19767149
>>19767527
aight
>well respected 25 year employee dies suddenly of a heart attack
>work leadership decides to do a get together
>rents out local pizza parlor party room for a pizza party funeral
>lots of people come, mostly employees but also friends and family
>I go with a close friend/coworker that recently went through another coworker/friend death with me
>as we arrive the resident office autismo shows up and starts orbiting us
>he is an extremely weird, insufferable person who thinks he's the greatest but is a chore to be around and will follow me because I am nice to him to avoid a mass shooting (more on that later)
>he sits down across from us and immediately gets a plate with at least 6 slices of pizza
>fills every available spot on plate with ranch, probably close to a pint if not more
>mood is somber but he's just going to town on this pizza and blabbering on about work with his mouth full
>there is pizza grease and marinara and ranch everywhere, all over his hands and face and dripped on his shirt and on the table
>little bits of ranch and pizza are floating around in his glass of water
>I am about to throw up
>he then starts drinking multiple IPAs and getting drunk
>starts fucking around with his jacket trying to get us to see something, finally ask him what he's doing
>he pulls a fucking gun out of his jacket to show us, it's not even a nice gun but now it has ranch on it
>tell him to put the gun away since we're at a funeral and people are staring
>then he drove 40 miles home drunk
He did a lot of other embarrassing shit too, wandered around talking to coworkers and family members about inappropriate things mostly. People humor him like he's a 7 year old. He also shits his pants a lot but that's another story.

>>19764730
that looks like a terrible burger

>>19760549
Chicken salad is always a great go to to feed a large number of people.

>>19760549
What would counteract the terror of age and death like an abundance of youth? Serve veal, lamb, suckling pig, new potatoes, bean sprouts, forced greens, and fresh eggs, and see if anyone catches on.

>>19768194
What a character.

>>19768194
Topkek