/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>provide content for my Instagram/tiktok/YouTube channel
No.

Nope

Last week I accidentally took a condiment that I thought of as being a complement to what I had ordered, and the waitress gave me a light crewing out and I said
>fuck you, bitch
while looking her right in the eyes and everything reset to zero except for my wife, who was completely horrified and went sero to 100 but who eventually relaxed over 20 minutes of me ignoring her. I should not have done that but I don't really regret it.

I did a lot of cocaine in the early 00s and would sperg out on cashiers who wouldn't let me buy a product without asking me 1000 questions. I would have bought an ipod once but the best buy guy kept asking me about warranty and other BS and I flipped the fuck out.

>>19542220
Not really. I’ve complained a few times if the food is taking forever or something, but I’ve never made a big stink or anything. At the end of the day it’s not that important for me to have a perfect restaurant experience. It’s just another meal, I’ll have thousands in my lifetime, better just to be laid back about it.

My mother used to sperg at restaurants all the time so I learned to do the opposite for basically anything in life. She tells me that I'm "bending the knee" but I don't care, the calm and diplomatic approach is the correct one.

No but when I was in my early teens my family would want to go to Italian restaurants and I'd always order the spaghetti bolognese and then whine about how shit it was, that it was a soupy mess and not real bolognese and that the restaurant was terrible
Eventually we stopped going

>>19542220
i once politely asked for a refund after they fucked up the dish to the point of it being inedible and they said theyd remake.
they just put the food on a clean plate and handed it back to me

>>19542337
At least you've changed you ways and are a more tolerable human being these days.

>>19542220
I save my sperging for shitposting on the internet, as it should be.

>>19542344
>they just put the food on a clean plate and handed it back to me

>>19542355
whats funny about that?

>>19542345
No I'm still as unlikable and obnoxious as I ever was

>>19542362
The sign is a subtle joke. The shop is called "Sneed's Feed & Seed", where feed and seed both end in the sound "-eed", thus rhyming with the name of the owner, Sneed. The sign says that the shop was "Formerly Chuck's", implying that the two words beginning with "F" and "S" would have ended with "-uck", rhyming with "Chuck". So, when Chuck owned the shop, it would have been called "Chuck's Fuck and Suck".

>>19542366
ahhhh i see
bu whos chuck and whos sneed?

Supermarket.
Workers kept accusing me of theft.
I don't even get why. I don't steal. Ever. I had a bad experience with it as a young kid and the guilt fucking destroyed me so I'm pathologically against stealing.
I'm also well dressed, respectful, fit, tall and since all you can see of me are my eyes (I wear a facemask because someone I care about is on immunosuppressants and I don't wanna infect him with anything) and skin, I'm obviously not black or Hispanic so it's not even a racist thing. I legit have no clue why they kept doing this shit.
One day, they yet again acted me if they and asked me to "at least" remove my mask and l finally had enough, bugged out and yelled, asking what the fuck about me makes them think that I'm stealing. Is it my gym bag? For fuck's sake, I bring it in with me because I fucking hate plastic bags. Do they want to inspect my bag every goddamn time I go in and out? Do they think I'm smuggling goddamn ribeyes under my mask? Do they want me to call the four local news stations and tell each of them that the other three are running the story of the store that's harassing a dude with no fucking cause, seemingly because he's wearing a facemask? I was throwing expletives all over the place.
They had no answer at the time and no accusations since.
I thank all that is good that my kid wasn't with me. Would hate him to see me act out.

>>19542299
Subhuman behavior

>>19542372
>mask
>large bag in a store
you understand how that looks regardless of how you dress, right? i know autism is hard to deal with but they were definitely in the right to confront you; hell, if i were the manager i'd have someone trailing your sperg ass. and if you raised your voice at me i'd have you trespassed.
maskies BTFO

>at bar
>very drunk
>order a Stella
>comes in a faggy Stella branded glass
>drink 2/3 of it
>notice a huge lipstick print on the rim
>show and bartender ask for a new drink
>but you already drank most of it and how do I know you didn’t put that lipstick there
>I’m drunk and you served me a dirty glass and fuck you for saying I put the lipstick to there
>go back and forth
>nigger won’t give me a new drink for free
>sperg out and start yelling obscenities and racial slurs at bartender after he kept accusing me of lipsticking the glass to get a free drink
>bouncer escorts me out and told I’m banned for life

>>19542390
What a life

>>19542389
okay but he already said he lacks melanin

>>19542389
I get it, sure, but for fucks sake follow me around and fucking watch me if I'm suspicious, don't verbally harass me for it, even less actually accuse me of something. I can even understand if they asked to look in my bag but it wasn't even that. They never and to look in my nah except once. I'll get to that in a minute.
What they did do was, legitimately, multiple accusations of theft over the course of a year. Not even a "did you take.." question but a "you took..." statement or something similar each time. One dude even grabbed my arm as I was leaving once. I was with my four year old at the time so i didn't have the opportunity to bug out then but I was fucking trembling with rage. I told him, calmly, to check the receipt and the bag and to let go of my arm.
While he let go of arm immediately. He. Didn't. Even. Bother. To. Check.
He just let me go, no check.
Fucking mind-boggling.

>>19542428
>They never and to look in my nah except once.
They never ASKED to look in my BAG except once
Fucking autocorrect.

>>19542434
Post hand

>>19542437
seconded, i'm going to need to verify the melanin content of your skin tone

>>19542437
I just ripped out a hangnail from my thumb. Bad habit, I know.

>>19542437
Well they did it
Whatever position you had is now forfeit regardless what you think of their hand.

>>19542220
>have you ever sperged out in a restaurant before?
no but thanks to assholes I don't have to.

I just point out a problem (politely) and watch them fucking trip over each other to make it perfect.

>>19542495
bigfoot spotted

>>19542516
Like I said: I'm pretty tall. And bizarrely hairy for being Eurasian, lol (which is why I mentioned eyes earlier)

>>19542495
I knew you were asian

>>19542533
From my hand?
I'm only a quarter.

>>19542495
Nigga you’re swarthy as fuck. You probably look like a thieving gypsy and not an actual white person

>>19542220
no, the only thing i can say is that my mom got mad at little ceasars when she was waiting 30 minutes for the pizza to be done

>>19542372
is this you?

I see why they are suspicious.

>>19542544
It's summer and I have a kid who I take to the park and shit. Forgive me for having a life away from a computer screen.

>>19542539
I'm a racial profiling god

>>19542551
No hat and I cover my nose and I wear n95

nope

>>19542220
>have you ever sperged out in a restaurant before?
no not even when they didn't take our order for an hour (comped meal).

or when some fucktard in the kitchen was short on onion blossom batter and made up the difference in salt (comped meal).

in both cases I casually pointed out the problem and they shat themselves to fix it.

>>19542563
no it's you I've seen you.

I projectile vomited onto the people in the booth across from me at Waffle House. My entire night of drinking plus two greasy plates of double hashbrown orders with chili, onions and mustard blew out of me like a fire hose across the table and onto the back of some dudes head. The only positive was that it was mostly undigested and more of a chewed up slurry than actual puke, but for some reason the guy it hit didn’t seem to care about that.

>>19542583
And my inexplicably red beard?

>>19542595
we get it, Ghengis Khan raped a lot of women back in the day you fucking mutt

>>19542595
red beard with mask? then there's no point in wearing a mask.

>>19542595
a red beard means nothing, you think youre irish or something ?
eyebrows are the defining colour because its always the same as pubic hair

Worst I recall is having to get a check early because of my depression making me unable to eat my meal - happens enough that I don't sit-down anymore.

>>19542428
my sisters ex husband was always getting pulled over by the cops. he looked like the love child of alice cooper and weird al yankovic.

fist fight with my brother, we were really drunk.

>at a New Orleans restaurant with my ex
>the food is taking a long time
>she's kind of losing her mind, getting louder and louder
>the food final comes
>she bursts into tears
>ask for our food to go and leave a big tip
I still have no idea what happened

>>19542220
No but I've been present for 2 restaurant spergouts
>my sister's birthday
>a date
Very embarrassing, would not recommend

>>19542659
im gonna guess youre straight and the second one was you female causing a scene, same with your sister?

>>19542671
Yes
>sister's birthday
>family's all there
>she's a narcissist
>conversation drifted away from her for a few minutes
>gets SUPER offended that "no one is speaking to her on her birthday"
>starts ugly crying
>I leave immediately

>on a date at a nice steakhouse with gf at the time
>we're getting a little buzzed
>gf starts ranting in favor of communism
>I'm playing devil's advocate
>she starts yelling at me
>everyone looks over at us
>I tell her to calm the fuck down
>we broke up not long after that

>>19542685
i feel like girls just want to make a scene sometimes ive been in your shoes with the first story but with my mum.
for some reason shes stopped acting like that when we go for family meals. embarrassing isnt the word

>>19542372
im on immuno suppressants, and i call tell you that your face diaper makes no difference. that person shouldn't even be outside if they are so scared of getting sick

>>19542374
Yes, possibly.

>>19542671
No, he witnessed two spergouts during a date with his sister on her birthday

>>19542372
Buy a reusable shopping bag, its 100% the combo of gym bag and mask

>>19542372
You're wearing a mask and stuffing items in your gym bag you psycho. I'd have you escorted from the property.

>>19542229
holy schizo

>>19542299
Was it ketchup to go with a steak

>>19542495
Holy fuck lookit that grabber, you could easily yoink two cantaloupes in one swing. No wonder they were suspicious of you.

>>19542220
No, but you reminded me of the time my brothers were swearing at my mom in a Carls Jr. I got upset and just walked out without eating anything.

>>19542362
it's a bot

No. The vast majority of my experiences at restaurants have been positive and I tend to be a pretty forgiving person if people are apologetic and friendly.

There have been times where I've considered ditching and not paying when the service is fucking glacial, though. Sometimes you ask for the bill and they take like 5+ min to come back like wtf

>>19542229
Based

>>19542389
No they weren't fucking right to confront him. He's white so even if he steals it would be OKAY. If it was a nigger or spic however, it's never okay.

>>19542939
But he’s not white. He’s some kind of brownish Balkan gypsy Turk.

>>19542858
No, I ordered their best sashimi plate and I assumed when it was placed in front of me that the real wasabi that was ground next to it on a little plate was simply "thanks for being a loyal customer" but instead it was bound for someone who special ordered it and it all was a misunderstanding. In my opinion, a misunderstanding that I should never been made aware of, because just grate another one and fucking bill me for it. The moment her eyes met mine she knew she fucked up. She didn't say a single fucking peep afterward. I was trying to figure out if I should do anything further but fuck it and at least I looked the vagina right in the face and growled at it. Given my wife's reaction I'm satisfied. Also who fucking puts a condiment for a dish next to a dish and who is expected to sort this shit out during dinner rush at a fucking sushi counter (dine in, not retail) at a Japanese restaurant? Fuckwads. But honestly, holy shit I hate women.

>>19542372
I'd accuse you of stealing too you meathead. You're stuffing items into a nontraditional grocery bag while masked up. Get a tote like a normal person

>>19542220
No but I regret not telling nandos to get fucked when they told me to pay by card, I should have if not sperged out at least refused and took my business elsewhere

>>19542891
You're a bot(tom).

>>19542220
Only once, I kept being ignored by a server talking to the reception lady for nearly a minute before I shouted at him to do his job and get to my table because I wanted to order a coke can before checking out. Never had an unpleasant restaurant visit outside of that.
>>19542984
Holy based, I would've done the same.

>>19542957
He said he's hapa

>>19542434
>>19542428
>>19542372
Of course phoneposters are retarded.
Why are you wearing a mask outside for your immunosuppressant friend? You're not taking your immunosuppressant friend out with you. And your mask isn't preventing you from getting hit with anything while you're walking around. The mask helps prevent you from spreading airborne sicknesses, not the other way around. Or did you go full retard and believe everything you saw on the television when people did a 180 from their previously factual statements to lie on record in an attempt to get assholes to comply because they knew most people only care about themselves?

>>19543878
>she doesn't know how n95s work

>>19542309
the fucked up thing about that is cashiers have to ask you that shit or they get punished. So now they're getting shit from everyone and not paid enough to give a shit. Now everyone complains about shitty service.

>>19542390
Kek, based and drukpilled.

No, I only ever chimped out at game stops when they low balled me for my used games

>>19543887
Oh I know how they work. And what they don't do. Maybe if you go full autism, keeping yourself clean shaven and using some type of epoxy to create a seal. If you do that then yeah, maybe they'll actually do what ignorant people think they do.
When there was an actual scare, when people were worried about terrorism and chemical warfare back in 01, people didn't stock up on n95 masks. No, people who had medical knowledge and the means brought home real respirator masks with filters.

>>19542299
kek, absolute kino

Fuck no, unless someone is intentionally being rude or something why would you? Only people who've never had to actually work and can't relate to people give you a hard time at work, fuck boomers

>>19542220
when i was a teen i threw a hamburger back at the whataburger dude that made it because he put mustard on it when i told him not to
then i stormed out like a little shit even though i paid already
pretty dumb to be honest

>>19542220
no. but I have just gotten up an left without paying if my food wasn't prepared as I requested, the service was bad, or my waitress was unhygienic.

>>19542372
You fooled many anons. Nice work.

>>19542514
???

>>19544075
>all this to say and she didn't even know that n95s can be fitted
lol

>>19542372
>WHY do you keep accusing me of theft?
>I walk with a mischievous hunch because I'm afraid of knocking my head on low hanging signs, it's a legitimate phobia!
>I wear the gloves because I have OCD, touching things skeeves me out!
>The sack I carry slung over my back with a cartoonish money sign printed on the sign? Listen, it's ergonomical and reusable, I just care about the environment!
>Yes actually I DO have to loudly hum and whistle the pink panther theme song while walking on my tiptoes, it helps me to focus so I don't miss any sales! If I walk normally I'd just speed right past them, inflation is quite high you know!
>And stop telling me to take the mask off! The fabric feels nice and it's only the hottest summer in 200 years!
Man, no matter how many times I explain myself they ALWAYS act suspicious of me. I just don't get it! Pic related is me, what am I doing wrong? These days I've started having a friend drive to a screeching halt outside the establishment so I can just throw my bag in the back and speed off, since stores really want to cycle through customers quickly and not block the entrance, but that only makes them MORE suspicious if you can believe it... I don't get them at all!

>>19542371
sneedeez nutz

No I'm not autistic. The worst I've ever done was fill out a survey at a restaurant that asked the waitress name and she didn't ever say it and then we sat there for a couple of hours and she didn't ask if we wanted a refill of water or whatever we drank. Only bitched about it because it was a pretty high end seafood restaurant on the Seattle waterfront and I had to cover the 900 dollar tab because they wouldn't let us split the check because our group was too big.

>>19544655
>>Yes actually I DO have to loudly hum and whistle the pink panther theme song while walking on my tiptoes

>>19542833
>>19543725
Nah. The items go in the cart/buggie/trolley. I only bag'em once I've paid for'em.

>>19542868
lol
Comes in handy (pun intended) for piano but my hands aren't THAT big. I can only barely palm a basketball.

>>19542939
>He's white
Eh... I'm mixed. Three quarters white, one quarter Mongolian rape-baby.

>>19542957
>Balkan
Dad's people are from further east. MUCH further east.
>gypsy
Dem's fightin' words.
>brownish
See >>19542554

>>19544840
I'm a grown-ass man who can't fucking whistle.

>>19544655
sensiblechuckle.png

>>19544550
???

>>19542220
No, not even when the waitress spilled my drink on me

>>19542220
>have you ever sperged out in a restaurant
No. I'm a civilized human being, not an asshole who insists on making every other diner uncomfortable. Civilized human beings do not "sperg out in a restaurant".
Go drown yourself in the bath you useless waste of genetic material.

>>19542372
Subscribed

>>19542715
>that person shouldn't even be outside if they are so scared of getting sick
Considering that he's in hospice care, I'm pretty sure that he's not going outside, but thanks for your concern.

>>19544208
once you're a boomer like me you'll understand that you're supporting the business owners and the stupid bint who expects a 25% tip for handing you a bag of food or whatever is more or less furniture

>>19542372

>Workers accusing me of theft.

Post hands.

>>19546754
You are not very smart.

>>19542220
Never as a guest but I did once quit in the middle of Friday dinner service.
Don't regret it either. I can't handle being shouted at when I fuck up but I won't take a abuse from a sous chef half my age because HE fucked up.

>>19542984
That is 100% on them. A coffee shop once tried to bill me for two shots of espresso. I had ordered one, they poured two. Their mistake. I paid because I was on a date (this was high school) and didn’t want to make a scene.

My dad is the type of moron who makes scenes at restaurants and screams at wageslaves over tiny inconsequential things, so I've been absolutely mortified of complaining in restaurants my whole life. The one that nearly pushed me over the edge was when we were in a Taco Bell with his brother in law and we got the wrong burrito or were missing a burrito or something, and he stormed up to the counter shouting and waving his arms around rambling about how he was going to get them all fired or some shit and threw his trash at them over the counter. I've never been that close to knocking his fucking teeth out before or since, I've never been so fucking humiliated in my life to be associated with him

>>19542309
Yeah cocaine will do that. Never liked talking while I was on that shit.

>>19548068
Next time he wants to do this, just tell him you'll take care of it. And tell them in a calm way.

>>19544655
kek

>>19544655
Checked and thoroughly kekked

Once when I was like 14 I went out to a restaurant with friends. I left a few coins as a tip, inside a drink cup that I squirted ketchup and mustard into.

No idea why I did that - I suppose to show off? Haunts me two decades later.

>>19548068
I always thought it was normal for low IQ types from the lower classes to behave in such a manner.
I learned a long time ago to stop giving a shit about people like you and your father because I could always think about how no matter how bad my situation was, it could always be worse, and things like you boosted my self esteem. I mean, if you want to act like children throwing a temper tantrum instead of acting like a human being while having an age exceeding 18, then I guess you are just fucking retarded.

>>19548142
It's odd for you to have such a strong feeling of superiority to me considering you don't seem to be able to read

>>19544655
Holy shit anon. Thanks for the laugh. Really needed a good chuckle.

>>19542344
What was the dish?

>>19542220
Never. The closest I've ever come was politely pointing out a hair in my food and getting my meal both replaced and comped.

only time anyone in my family has made a fuss over bad service was at the Jordan Pond House in Acadia National Park and they served each part of the meal way too fast like they were rushing our table out of their as fast as possible
My dad complained about it and the manager gave us a 50% discount for the meal.
Shit was actually ridiculous, the waitstaff brought desserts to the table like 2 minutes after the main course

>>19542390
you were in the right
should have complained to the manager/owner and got a free meal or something while smugfrogging the bartender

>>19542372
if this ever happens just laugh it off and say "i'm not a nigger" if they ask you stop tell them to fuck themselves

>>19542220
My grandfather use to sperg out nearly as bad as this. If we had to wait too long waitress was slow a baby was near us he would lose his shit.

>>19542390
i loved being able to hang up the phone on people/kick them out the second a cuss word or an insult comes out. it doesn't even matter if they were right at that point. if they complained i'd just tell the owner they i don't accept that type of behavior since i have a short fuse and would def make it worse if the situation didn't de-escalate quickly. none of those people ever got SHIT out of it either kek.

>>19542220
I didn't sperg but I went to back to a restaurant I hadn't been to in many years (I moved, came back to visit) and this faggot waiter was giving me gay attitude the whole time.
>seafood restaurant by the sea
>they used to have tons of fresh, local options
>what do you have that's local?
>nothing
>no follow up
>uh ok
>order
>wait over an hour for food
>gf's shrimp scampi tastes like white wine and milk
>also has a huge hair that is clearly not either of ours
>tell waiter her pasta tastes like wine
>gives me gay smug chuckle "it's a white wine base"
>Yeah I know but it shouldn't taste like that. also there's hair in it anyway. Her hair is black, this is blonde
>gets manager
>manager is nice

I didn't yell at him or anything but him giving me attitude and talking down to me the whole time pissed me the fuck off. Needless to say I left no tip

>>19542220
One time I arrived at a fast food restaurant 10 minutes before closing to pick up something small, I was halfway into my overtime for that day and it was late, and they were fully closed and shuttered already. I rattled the door, kicked it, swore and paced away in a huff. There were some people around and they saw this
I drove to another location that was open later and ordered the same thing I had been planning, and all of this took almost an hour, so instead of a quick 15 minute stop for a pick-me-up I lost an entire hour

>>19544655