/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>19536881
I eat fast food like twice a year

>>19536881
I put mayo on everything

I drink oat milk.
And I wanna KMS

>>19536881
i don't like black "people"
or niggers as i like to call them

>>19536890
:O

>>19536890
We are people too y'know

>>19536892
why don't you act like people then?

I sometimes make microwave scrambled eggs

Why did my bacon get weird dark/purple stripes on it during cooking?

I think McDonald's is still a nice treat to have once a week.

>>19536890
also their food is bad

>>19536881
i like pineapple on pizza, chocolate mint, ginger on sushi, steak and ketchup, ranch and pasta, and tomatoes

>>19536881
I once did this nine years ago. It was somewhat okay, although I do NOT recommend it! I made a long visit to the porcelain throne the next evening.

>>19536920

>>19536923

How long do alcohol withdrawals last? It's been 24 hours and this shit still hasn't gone away.

>>19536900
they mostly disappeared after more cooking... do i eat?

>>19536881
I'd rather waste 10 minutes to heat something up on the stovetop and do the dishes than use microwave

It took me until a manic episode to try and bake a proper cake for the first time. It was okay.

>>19536881
I never wash my dishes until at least 24 hours later

>>19536881
I never wash anything unless it impairs the next meal

I made spaghetti with frosting as sauce and cookies. It tasted horrible

>>19536909
>ranch and pasta
The fuck? Hot or cold?

>>19536928
Depends on how deep in the bottle you got. My wife is a nurse practitioner and when she worked in an er she saw more than one person die from quitting cold turkey.

>>19536980
Same, but only with my blender. It's a bitch to clean. Sometimes it feels like my blender is going to come to life and mutilate me for revenge.

>>19536992
Based, this nigga be seasoning his blender.

>>19536980
I only rinse with water unless there's oil, but still wash them after a few uses

>>19536881
I once sabotaged the chef's food at the restaurant I work at in order to get him fired.

I picked up a shrimp from another plate and placed it inside a mushroom risotto that was going to someone who stated they were allergic to shrimp.

The person went into shock, an ambulance had to be called.

Person sued the restaurant and the boss fired the chef over it.

>>19537027
kill yourself

>>19537027
Nice reddit spacing faggot

>>19537029
I suck, I know. But the chef was asking for it.

>>19537032
Qrd so we can judge if you were right or not

>>19536890

>>19537032
What did the guy with the allergy do to you though?

>>19537032
I'm sure he did, no reason to jeopardize the life of a customer, sure 99% This would have went well but still

>>19537034
>Qrd so we can judge if you were right or not
He made sexual comments towards my daughter.

>>19537037
>What did the guy with the allergy do to you though?
Nothing at all, he was just collateral damage on my petty revenge, which is why I admit that I suck.

>>19537039
wow so your whole story is fake and gay good to know

>>19537044
>wow so your whole story is fake and gay good to know
What do you mean?

Jennifer Kesse is in Lake Okeechobee.

i enjoy the smell of my own farts after bingeing different types of foods.

>>19536881
I have a grill and haven't used it in over a year

>>19537038
I know, I do feel pretty bad for it on hindsight, but I was just so seek of that fucking creep that I just did not care at the time.

>>19537039
How old was your daughter at the time?

>>19537088
16.

Fucker compared her to a prime piece of meat ready for slaughter.

Cilantro tastes like soap, but I love that soapy taste.

>>19537092
You did good then, no use in clocking him on the spot and go to jail

>>19537102
Indeed, but I would be daamed if I would allow that fucking piece of shit to exist anywhere near me or my daughter.

Feel bad for the guy that got sent to the hospital in the process, though.

>>19536928
>>19536991
This. If you were deep deep into the bottle (more than 750ml/ day for longer than a few weeks), withdrawals will last for about 5-6 days, and even after that your brain chemistry will still be out of whack. You’ll have brain fog for another two or so weeks, and anxiety for god knows how long.
You should be back to your normal-ish self in about a month, but feeling less physically sick by day 5 or six.
If you weren’t really that bad off probably after 72 hours you should be okay.
Whenever I fall off the wagon for a while and then get back on I always have the most vivid and strange fever dreams, that happen to you?
If you have any questions about alcoholism I literally drank myself to death (kidneys failed, they’re okay now) and would be happy to answer them with a firsthand account.
If you’re not going through delirium tremens I doubt you’ll have a seizure, you’re probably just in that jr. alcoholic stage where quitting just hits you with a cumulative hangover lol

>>19536881
I tried using maple syrup as a substitute for brown sugar while making cookies and it just ended up making a shitty, burnt, hard coat of cookie, covering the entire area of the cookie sheet

>>19536909
i like adding a little ranch to my pasta and red sauce, based anon

>>19536884
My old boss would put mayo on everything. He even put mayo on chicken salad.

>>19536928
Stay strong anon, alcohol withdrawl is a serious bitch.

>>19537177
Kek me too

I just slow roasted some barbecue seasoned chickens, cut one in half and ate the entire half. I wasn't even hungry. It was so good though bros

>>19537185
Extremely based

>>19537039
I would rape your daughter

>>19537231
Sure you would, though guy.

Hey alcoholics,

I just want to chime in that I am the guy who drinks half a 1.75 bottle of bacardi every other day. Every couple of months I go on vacation or to a trade show for a week or more at a time and rarely drink during that period and I have never felt withdrawal symptoms. Not bragging, but I still consume a shit load of alcohol but the next morning I hydrate up and drink some ovaltine with vitamins in it and I feel right as rain by 9/10am the next morning.

Give some thought of only drinking every other day. I've always been like this because I just don't get the cravings the very next day. If you can pull it off, it might make your life alot better and feel less hanged over. In my last physical about four years ago I got top marks. I am in my early 40s and have been drinking like this since my mid 20s.

It seems like that day of recovery with hydration, vitamins and a good diet really seems to make it "ok". Something to consider. Good luck.

>>19537231
Put ur shrimp in his daughter lol
An eye for an eye

>>19537262
It’s all fun and games until you have a seizure. If it happens when you’re standing up, all kinds of shit can go wrong.
The first time I had a seizure I felt fine, too.
But it’s kind of a dangerous cycle because
>oh no I’m afraid I’ll have a seizure
>better drink more because I have to
I spent five straight years drinking a handle a day after my first seizure because “lol I have to you guys don’t understand.”
Only 5% of alcoholics are actually severe enough that they have seizures, but it’s not something to fuck around with.
The best thing to do is taper off, reducing your alcohol intake by 20% each day (sit down, do the math, write it down, go the the liquor store one last time, and be vigilant about it).
Then you taper down, and after that you will have five days of pure hell, and then PAWS for fucking forever.
I still drink but kindling is a motherfucker, if I drink two days in a row my body thinks we’re back on and I have to go through it all again.
I honestly shouldn’t be drinking at all, but who wants to live like that? There’s no point if you’re not having a good time.

>>19537291
What was your drink of choice?

>>19537262
>hes so deep into his addiction his brain can suppress withdrawl symptoms because he KNOWS when the next hit comes
this isn't a good thing, anon

>>19537314
I don't have issues a couple times a year when I go away from home. That's what I am saying. There is no withdrawal symptoms and even a couple times when I would drink everyday which is very very rare, it doesn't do anything.

Just trying to get a better understanding where I am relative to other drinkers and offer what seems to work out great for me.

I think most food tastes better eaten cold or lukewarm

>>19537074
same

>>19536881
haven't eaten in 20 days

i'm growing to dislike eating more and more lately

i think ass tastes better than pussy

>>19537304
Vodka and ice water chaser.
I had a trusty drinking glass that served as a “shot glass” but my shots were about 4.5 fl oz (like three regular shots).
God I still miss the euphoria after prying yourself from wherever you passed out and lurching up to the bottle and downing that first big glass of the day.
The warmth setting in and your nerves melting away…
Don’t do it, y’all.

I barely know how to cook I just come here to laugh at the shitposts and seething aspies.

>>19537486
>children>adults>geriatrics

I used to cum in people's food at the restaurant I used to work at. Every night somebody would get jizz in their enchilada.

>>19537545
you never worked in a restaurant you lying son of a motherfucker

on most days i just eat oatmeal + water + peanut butter

I've ejaculated in literally hundreds of motel and hotel hot tubs all the way back to 1996 by putting one of my dicks up to the water jets. But what I am a little bit ashamed about is a few times I put my anus up to the water jets and sometimes it's strong enough to shoot water into my rectum making me feel like I have to shit so I usually immediately have to shit out my watery poo in the hottub. I've only done the last thing two or three times. I was usually drunk.

>>19537585
yes i did, bitch. i hope you ate my cum too.

>>19536887
What's wrong with oat milk? Good nutrients.

I buy sugary cereal.

>>19536883
>>19536890
You are supposed to post things that are shameful.

>>19537262
Anon, what the fuck? How much money do you spend on alcohol per year? Please drink half as much as you currently drink (unless you are black or brown, then drink more).

>>19537521
This is fucked up.

I quite like IPAs

I just ate like 10 sour mamba candies and now my stummy hurt

When I was little my favorite food combo was sour kosher dill pickles and the chocolatiest chocolate milk I could make with Hershey’s Chocolate Syrup.

>>19536926
Was it more runny or thick? Seems messy but good

I'm only on this board to learn how to cook, so that one day I can create a baby boiler big enough to solve world hunger using African babies.

We'll solve the rest of society's problems using an automatic rape machine with jizz from the master race, but that's for another forum.

>>19537521
>vodka
>literally alcohol water
Bummer it wasn't something tastier, but it makes sense in your case. More of a gin and absinthe guy myself; alcoholism would put me on the street in a week.

>>19537545
what is it that compelled you to do this? I know working in a restaurant can be hell but...cumming in people's food, man?

>>19536881
i went to my nearby gas station at 11:30pm last night and bought combos, orange slices, an oatmeal cream pie, spicy nacho doritos, 1 donut, and a 2% milk. smashed it all went right to bed and was here at work by 7am.

>>19536881
I post on /ck/.

>work abort
>literally only consume fast food
>spend 600€ a month on food
I already gave up guys, there is no hope at this point i don't even know when i cooked for myself, pretty sure it's been 2 yrs. End me

>>19537262
Hey man, glad you're still alive. How's that property looking in midsummer? I thought you WERE going to cut it back to 1/2 days.

>>19537521
Never had it like this, but I spent 8 months laid off like 7 years ago and I know exactly what you're saying about those nerves melting away. Nothing like a bloody mary (7 shots of vodka with enough mix to turn it pinkish) to start your day!

>>19538159
I dunno how much I drink money wise. I got plenty.

>>19538249
You need a few good recipe books, thrift stores are really good for that kind of thing. Oh and pinterest is great for motivation. if you don't want to spend any money. If you have the time, then all you need is motivation and for me at least, actually having a recipe book in my hands really makes the experience better. If time is the issue, then start cooking only when you have days off, progressively improving will make it and easier and somewhat quicker process and buying products that make cleaning up easier and the prep easier will help too. Instant meals (stuff like that at asian markets are cheap, so is meat if you're really want to budget). Hope that helps a little bit, that's what works for me.

>>19538249
I>>19538282 didn't read the fucking first line, I guess, sorry man

>>19538282
Thanks anon, sadly im only get home on the weekend and usually most motels have no included cooking area. I though about meal prepping tho, i'm just scared i will all go bad since i don't really have a cooler or anything to heat it up.

>>19538307
That's really rough. I mean, I'm sure there's portable cooking equipment/storage but that'd be a pain to transport. Plus, who'd feel like cooking at that point? If you're really determined, I guess you could look into a hot plate and I looked it up, apparently there's portable microwaves? But I don't know how well they work.

Once a year or so I get really strong cravings for olive garden

>>19536992
I'd better make sure my next blender's got no hard-to-clean grooves in the glass

>>19538356
Yeah, and get one with detachable blades. Don't make my mistake.

>>19537262
>alcoholic
>gun owner
can't think of a worse combo. do you carry it on you while wasted? just wait until you get stopped by the cops and they lock you up for carrying while intoxicated.

>>19538363
I wouldn't dare even look at my gun when I'm drunk. I know I would try to shoot myself and fuck up and just blow half my face off and living in pure hell for a couple months before dying.

>>19536881
My favorite way to eat Italian sausage is on a sandwich (not so bad) with bbq sauce.

>>19538371
well at least you're smart about it. I had a buddy that would carry it around in his car while driving hammered. got busted for DUI and got double fucked because the gun was loaded in his car with him.

>>19538386
Holy shit your buddy was dumb. Hopefully he's smartened up. He could have easily killed some poor rando.

>>19538386
your friend was a real american
anyone who disagrees is brown

>>19538197
Thick.

>>19536881
I rinse my pasta in cold water after cooking because I want to be able to eat it at my leisure without worrying about it overcooking.
Also I never finish it in the sauce anyway.

>>19537262
why do you have a gun in the fridge? was it just so you couls take this picture and subtly show off your gun? are you sure you're in your 40s? that's teenager-tier behaviour
americans man

I can only cook four dishes and tiny variants

>>19536881
I ate free food at work and feel like a fat fuck

I've tasted my own scuzz
I don't always wash my hands at home
I eat at my computer desk
I toss food out at even the slightest signs of spoilage
I don't eat cheese or milk
I don't mind goyslop

>>19538997
>I've tasted my own scuzz
so have i, in fact i used to do it after every wank but now i've got a fleshlight and i don't really fancy sucking it out of there

I let my cat on the counter because every protective measure I've implemented has failed

>>19539149
are you bi?

>>19539200
nope, straight as an arrow, wouldn't taste another guy's goop if that's what you're asking, same as how i like the smell of my own farts but not other people's

>>19537047
He means that you're a lying faggot, pay attention

>>19538159
Nta but you'd be surprised by how bad it gets. I'm normally a beer drinker that's about 20 to 25 a weekday night, weekends maybe 25 to 30 of ~4% beers. Been gaining weight though I spent most of my adult life at 180 I'm up to 220 it seems so I thought I'd switch to liquor. Pic related is a bottle I bought yesterday and it will be gone tonight I'm not sure I can get as drunk as I'd like even.
Cost? Bad. I spend more on alcohol than anything else but my mortgage. The addiction normalized it to where I think of it like water. Doesn't matter what that costs, it's required.
However I will say withdrawal is entirely genetic. I may have experienced dts before, but idk. It was very similar to a night terror which I had a lot before drinking so when I stopped I was like, oh this again. Except I did feel like I was moving vibrating really. But I wrote that off. The visuals were far more vivid but whatever I wrote it off and rode it out. That was back in my late teens I don't really remember any of that part of my life couldn't tell you how much I was drinking even. Now, the only symptom I hate about not drinking is I'm not gonna sleep. I don't get shakes or anything like that. The truth is, you'll experience it different from others and nobody knows why. That's the other thing, I've kept a job throughout only leaving for more pay, early there every day only took a week off to best man a wedding never another day. Genetics handle hangovers too. Idk, it's all wierd

>>19536881
I cook and eat the same things for MONTHS until I get tired of it then change for something else and repeat.

i've been debating on trying to find a nonplastic spray bottle that i can just put melted butter/ghee in so my mom can stop using cheap olive oil blends and "i can't believe it's not butter" bullshit
is that a sin or an actual good idea?

>>19539234
Is that not normal?

I spent last week ordering Taco Bell and drinking whisky and beer daily while being so ill that I was taking 3 grams of antibiotics and 3 of paracetamol every day. I don't know what was worse every morning, the hangover or the stomach pain + diarrhea combo from eating so much Taco Bell.

>>19539239
You will have to heat it up in the microwave every time you want to use it just to make the butter liquid enough to be sprayed and it will clog the spray bottle quickly anyway.

>>19539250
shit, you're right, back to the drawing board then

I fucking hate tarragon. I think every single dish that includes tarragon would be vastly improved without tarragon. These days every time a recipe asks for tarragon, I always omit it.

>>19536887
>oat milk
hhhm. Do you have whiskers too?

I plan on cooking nothing but burgers for my next few lunches and dinners.

>>19538159
I’m the vodka ice water fag, I had fuck you money at the time but all I ever bought was Smirnoff. $21.99x 1.07 (sales tax)= $23.53.
$23.53x 365 is only $8588.45 per year, there’s way more expensive addictions to maintain.
>t. lots of heroin addicted friends

Alcohol is by far the worst/ most life destroying though if you don’t purely care about the economics of the situation.
Heroin will fuck up someone who doesn’t have money, alcohol will ruin someone who does.

>>19536881
I eat popcorn with a spoon so my hands don't get greasy

>>19536881
i eat mostly off paper plates so i don't have to do dishes

My parents have cholesterol issues but I don't trim my meat or skim my stock/stew when I cook for them which is basically daily
Idk why but sometimes the food can just taste way less obviously oily than it is and my parents love that
Meanwhile my mother pulls the skin of chicken off when I cook it

>>19539922
>Heroin will fuck up someone who doesn’t have money, alcohol will ruin someone who does.
do well off people even do heroin? must be crazy to be addicted to that. I've only watched movies where it's digusting homeless people doing that.

>>19538240
how did that make your tum tum feel?
I'm awake now cus of that beer and supper I had right before bed. feeling ugly...

I put a melted chocolate bar on a 9/10 escort's butthole and licked it all off. No regrets.

>>19536892
Really? It's hard to believe

>>19539221
Is the concept of petty revenge really that far fetched for you?

Jewish food is superior than Arabic cuisine.

>>19536881
i use an ai to make my weekly menus based on high school menus

The child didn't consent but I made it happen anyway.

>>19536881
I piss a little in my grandma's water glass when she asks me to pour her some to take with her pills. If no piss, I use a piece of a melatonin gummy and drop it in there.

>>19540691
You want to worsen her gout? There is a reason shy elders with gout can't eat fish, it's because fish piss through their skin.

I drive to a Taco Bell five miles away that charges an extra 50 cents per chipotle ranch grilled chicken burrito and asks to donate the change to kids education which i never do because the taco bell that is only a mile away makes them super stingy but the further away taco bell makes them full. Im about to go right now and I went on Tuesday as well. Im going to enjoy my two chipolte ranch grilled chicken burritos while i watch a congressional hearing / testimony about how bad the child troon issue is.

>>19536881
i steal vanilla extract from the store and then drink it like liquor. it gives me the worst headaches the next day. i just pour it over ice and drink it straight, some people think it gives them a stomach ache but i don't get that. I used to put like stevia or splenda in the drink to make it taste good, but i dont give a fuck anymore about the taste. one time i even took one that was like $18 and it kinda made me feel bad because it was so expensive and im just drinking it for fun. although I wouldn't drink something weird like mouthwash or sanitizer, that's gross.

>>19539949
Do you reuse them? Answer me to redeem your laziness.

>>19540822
>i dont give a fuck anymore about the taste
just drink water, you kleptomaniac

>>19536881
I've been on a diet where I have been including grains and beans into it for the past 5-6 months and to be honest with you, I don't think I have ever felt physically better than the high fat diet I had before. Basically going against what this entire board tells you NOT to do.

That's my son. I've been eating grains and it has had a positive effect on me and now I won't stop or think about going back to high fat diet

>>19536881
The secret ingredient of the veggie burguers we serve at my food truck is bone meal.

>>19541062
Based.


I make burritos and lazy to cook the beans so I buy the canned refried beans.

Also, with spagett I sometimes just buy the canned sauce.

>>19536881
I don't like fish

>>19541225
Oceanic fish is shite. Try "sweet" waters fish, you will enjoy it.

>>19536881
Yesterday I hate 3k kcals in one meal.
I went to burger king and got some wings and veggie nuggets(I wanted to try them). I went to KFC got fries, wings and popcorn chicken and lots of sauces.
It was good I liked it.
But im not gonna do it again soon.

>>19541247
Don't you mean freshwater?
t.fellow fingol

all fish taste like talapia to me

>>19541247
salt water fish is objectively better. Shellfish too.

>>19538168
same

I mix ketchup in my youghurts. It just works.

>>19541225
me neither, whenever i mention it here people say i'm a picky eater who needs to grow up, but i'm willing to bet i was enjoying spicy food and pickles and stuff at a much earlier age than they were

>>19537092
>>19537113
Pics of your daughter?

>>19542064

>>19541247
i hate fish but salt water is unequivocally better

>>19536881
I keep getting egg stuck to the bottom of the pan :(

>>19536881
When my brothers are fighting and getting physical, I get scared and feel powerless. When they're yelling at my mother at the top of their lungs, I feel afraid. I don't know what they're going to do, or how far they'll go. When living like this every day for years, and then every time they say sorry and go back to living like it's normal, it throws my brain off. I don't know what to think or what to believe or who to trust. Contradictory signs at every corner just leads to more and more confusion.

The anxiety and sadness turns to anger, and I feel the deep urge to murder them. To make the screaming and fighting end. To make the confusion in my brain end. To put it all to an end, with one single fatal stroke.

Certain people are allowed to act in a completely reprehensible and quite frankly intolerable manner, yet when I step out of line even once everyone's crying for their mothers. It's absurd.

They make no attempt to understand my pain and are always letting others get off too easily. They fail to the insanity driving conditions that they themselves have created. Tyrants absolutely hate it when someone stands up to their bullying. When no one is willing to oppose a monster then another monster will arise to counter it. And it's only when that new monster, one born of fear and tragedy, rears it's head and says enough do people collectively take up arms to stab it. "Where did this come from?" They ask. "How could such a hideous thing have shown it's face here?"

Such a lack of insight is the result of apathetic and lazy ignorance.

>>19537262
addiction is entirely determined by genetics and you cannot convince me otherwise.

>>19536881
I neglected a bag of potatoes in the pantry and half of them went bad.

I don't like any type of cheese.

>>19542772
Was it before the flies and maggots set in? Because the smell of flyblown rotting potatoes is a special kind of stench that sometimes just doesn't wash out.

>>19536881
i drink a lot of tap water. at least a gallon a day.

>>19542731
welcome to reality. nothing ever goes as planned in this accursed world. the longer you live, the more you realize that the only things that truly exist in this reality are merely pain, suffering and futility. everywhere you look in this world, wherever there is light, there will always be shadows to be found as well. as long as there is a concept of victors, the vanquished will also exist. the selfish intent of wanting to preserve peace, initiates war. and hatred is born in order to protect love. there are nexuses: causal relationships that cannot be separated

>>19542758
problem is addicts have consistently been some of the more creative and productive people throughout history.
Sober people make great librarians but they don't write good books and those damned blue-collar tweeker are the back bone of this town.
>https://youtu.be/mTUb18VYLjc

Desserts suck. Some are tolerable but the rest suck ass. Candy/sweets too, unless they're red-colored.

>>19542789
No, no maggots or flies. Just putrid liquefaction.

>>19537177
my old elementary school principal and i would both eat mustard from packets RIP Mr. Bergman

>>19536881
I have been known to eat Vienna sausages.

>>19536881
I work in a kitchen and I make the best pizzas hands down. They want a pizza made good they get me. Despite all that I only eat frozen pizzas. I've only ever eaten a single slice of a pizza that I've actually made, and I've been making them for over 3 years at this point. I think I just resent the fact that I can make pizzas. I don't think it's a valuable skill. It's like being the best at cleaning toilets.

>>19543253
how do you know they're good if you don't eat them?

>>19543255
People eat them and they're all like "it's good". Even ignoring customer praise even other chefs know I do it best. That's why I said hands down.

>>19536881
i've been on ozempic since april and i've lost 46 pounds. my relationship with food has drastically changed. eating doesn't push the same happy buttons any more. I'm sad about that sometimes, but every other aspect of life has been better, so I guess it's ultimately good. I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes in February with an a1c of 9.3, and as of my last doctor appointment in June, it's down to 5.8. Ozempic makes me nauseous almost every day, but I've just come to grips with the fact that any way I choose to lose weight, it's just going to have to suck for a while. Traditional dieting would be a more familiar type of miserable, and MUCH harder to stay consistent & in control of myself. If I had weight loss surgery, recovery sucks for a while, and it's still just a quick bandaid without addressing real problems... I have a binge eating disorder. Ozempic makes it stop, and it's really nice to not be obsessing over food in the back of my mind constantly. And yet I'm on /ck/ late at night... I guess I appreciate food for different reasons now. I'd probably go off of it & take a break (if it's a safe thing to do. I'd talk do my doctor.) if I went on a vacation or something, so I could enjoy the food fully. I just hope when it's time to go off of Ozempic for good, I can maintain my better eating habits. It's easy to not eat when your stomach just hurts all the fucking time lol.
anyway, this isn't much of a confession. I guess I'm confessing to just making a blog post now lol. Bye. thanks for reading about my feelings.

>>19536881
I was so desperate to lose my virginity I agreed to a threesome in the freezer with the chef and a 36-year old chainsmoking waitress.

>>19543270
Nice job anon. Remember that food is just an energy source people turned into a craft. There are many other ways to find fulfillment. You are free to try them all and keep food in its place.

>>19538207
That's a Modest Proposal.

>>19536881
I get (and enjoy) Jack in the Box tacos on a somewhat regular basis. One time I just ate six one after another with no bev. They're pure slop, but I simply do not care

>>19536881
My mom is pretty strict on me gaining weight and she always blames me for always eating ( this is stupid) but lately I have been eating even more because I started making myself high using meditation

>>19542731
it sounds like there's a lot of bad people you either need to work things out with or cut them out of your life. do it before you do something you can't take back.

>>19536881
I love cheeses and all kinds of cured or dry meats.

3lb baby gold potatoes cooked a several different ways in 3 hours and id do it again.

>>19543325
are you Indian by any chance

>>19542731
beat their asses anon.

My parents asked me to cook food for them because they wanted to have a dinner party for their friends
I was excited, I would be cooking for 9 people but I just heard one of them got sick and now it's cancelled
I am disappointed and upset now, I was looking forward to cooking
I like cooking

I don't know how to order at a McDo

>>19536881
i'm autistic

>>19536928
1-3months
keep it up you fat fucking retard
<3

>>19536881

I drink 375ml bottle of whiskey every 2 or 3 days a week.

>>19543812
CHEERS BRO I'LL DRINK TO THAT

>>19543812
i can polish 700ml by myself in one night, if i had the money i'd do it every day

>>19536928
Use benzodiazepines to help prevent seizures and to calm you down. Easy to find research chemicals stateside to help with this. Might as well get opiates as well if you’re already ordering, and some ketamine analogues as well. That’ll get you right as rain. The fact you are actually typing 24 hours into withdrawal is a good sign. I’ve seen people become delusional

>>19543831
>Easy to find research chemicals stateside to help with this.
Explain.
>ketamine
I've read that people who get ketamine infusions look at alcohol completely different. I should get some of stuff.

sunnysideresearchstore is a solid source. It’s a dot com sight. If you don’t trust that one then go to Reddit on r/researchchemicals and ask around for sources. The site I listed has FXE (the ket analog), lots of benzos, however I’d recommend the Flubromazepam or Bromazolam in this situation. They have O-DSMT which honestly isn’t ideal, but it may help you a bit with comfort. And then some good old 4F-MPH as a pick me up. I would avoid that one though while you’re withdrawling, it’s a nice amphetamine but it raises heart rate and anxiety more than the others. I also should point out, benzos are incredibly addictive if you take them long term, and you shouldn’t drive or even go out while on them. You’ll be way more fucked up than you realize. Best of luck.

>>19543850
>>19543939
Meant to reply to you

>>19536928
3 days
2rd day is the worst

>>19536881
I'm killing myself by making super fudgy brownies with chocolate pieces in the dough and then covering the brownies with whote chocolate.

I dont know if the cholesterol and fat or sugar is slowly killing me because eating just 2 pieces my head gets all floaty.

>>19536928
>>19544003
I'm not having bad withdrawals at all, because I've had hellish ones before, but can you start to becoming really itchy when you are quitting alcohol again? I think that may be happening right now but I wanted to ask.

>>19544308
>really itchy
that's b1 (thiamin) deficiency , when it's real bad it goes from itchy to feeling like you're being stabbed with needles

>>19536909
You had me until the steak and pasta shit.

>>19544308
I’ve had the worst alcohol withdrawals imaginable coupled with seizures, and I’ve only ever been itchy when actively on 300mg of painkillers.
Everyone is different though, my buddy. My RLS get bad as fuck during alcohol withdrawals sometimes, just sweating through sheets and thrashing around from the waist down.

>>19536881
No one actually reads any of these.

>>19536881
I've eaten the same thing every day for at least 3 weeks

>>19545046
I just read yours
what now

>>19545060
Tell me which one was mine (if I even made one).

>>19545119
>>19545046

>>19543812
That is absolutely nothing but heed the warnings from alcoholic anons this shit is no joke

>>19543828
Been there done that with whiskey, which naturally turned to vodka.
I truly would not recommend.

>>19543812
>>19545276
Yeah you should really stop. You can get away with a lot of drinking, but don't push your luck.

>>19536881
Yesterday made chicken alfredo because it was a tough day and wanted something simple. I made 2000 versions of this dish 2000 times, but was hit by an orbital retard beam or something.
Started boiling noodles at completely wrong time than usual, now chicken won't finish in time. Noodles done, Chicken was raw in the middle, cut small and cooked at higher heat to compensate. Noodles we're finishing and sauce wasnt even close, take out noodles early to compensate for sauce needing like 10 mins at least. Add egg and parm to sauce at wrong time, didn't temp egg, both don't emulsify and end up completely cooking away. Time passes in despair. Realize I forgot chicken, it's not just dry now it's become a fucking dehumidifying agent. Oh shit wtf why is sauce boiling now. Egg, cream, and Parm are all separated. Used too much broth anyway and now have four cups up literal water with flavorless cheese, cream, and egg curdle particulate. Add sauce back to noodles to finish anyway. Didn't even strain them well so now it's more watery causing the sauce hardly to reduce and now just completely overcook the noodles. Add butter I wanted to skip trying to make a healthier version because fuck.
Plate. Sauce didn't stick at all, only bIts of curdled boiled cheese, egg, and cream spread throughout a mush of noodles, in a grey yellow water soup at the bottom of the plate.
Ate one bite, it tastes worse than it looks. Threw the whole thing away and had vodka and cigarettes for dinner.
t. Prev. sous chef at fine dining restaurant for 3 years, cook for 8
Of all the fuckups that was both the worst one and the most inexplicable. Not sure if I should be screened for a stroke or if I was subconsciously just trying to spite and hurt the poor bird noodles.

>>19545312
the people that drink a lot are just the type to push their luck. particularly hard liquor drinkers. i know people that open a new bottle of wine every night, or slam a case of beers with some mates, but the hard stuff tends to bring out the worse in people.
i think it has to do with how fast it raises blood alcohol levels. im not exactly sure though and maybe someone can enlighten me on this.

>>19545495

My dad was a raging alco and died of a brain hemorrhage. My millionaire uncle is also one. Alcoholism doesn't discriminate
It's my destiny. I wish I was dead. It's a curse.

>>19545495
Your body develops a resistance to alcohol, especially if you drink so frequently that your system never flushes; it just goes from purging alcohol byproducts to metabolizing alcohol. But it's not like alcohol stops working; you kind of need to "barge down the gates", so to speak and for me only hard liquor does that reliably. There are genetic variance, but I simply cannot get drunk on beer unless it's unusually high abv. Like I've tried drinking an entire 12 pack and nothing but a bloated stomach.

>>19536901
A week is still a little excessive

>>19537674
I want you to make me dinner

The most I've ever spent on a meal for myself was about $120.

I once spent close to $300 at a 3-day food truck festival.

I like buying & collecting whisky, but I almost never drink it. The most expensive whisky I own is Suntory Hibiki.

When I get a swollen lingual papilla that becomes a little painful, I will cut it off with nail clippers (surprisingly less painful than just letting it stay). Sometimes I will even chew on it and swallow it.

When I'm at a restaurant and there's hair in my food, I will actually just remove it and continue eating my meal, because I don't want to deal with the hassle of complaining and waiting for them to remake my food. I assume that if I do complain (which would be justified, to be honest), they're just gonna remove it & serve the same dish. They might reheat it & rearrange it to make it look different, but I assume there's no actual way I'm going to get a new dish (unless it's hard to fake).

>>19546498
>papilla

>>19536881
I failed at making gnocci twice
first time I didn't mash the potatoes smooth enough since I was using a fork. It tasted good but had tiny chunks of potato in there.
Second time I used a ricer, but added too much flour. I think, at least. It came out doughy and limp.

I'm too sad to try again but I hecking love gnocchis. I also fucked up making apple strudel twice even though my apple pie is pretty good. Maybe one day.

>>19543948
Thanks for the info.

>>19546498
as a treat I bought a chicken teriyaki maki roll and a bunch of other sushi, I thought maybe they had forgotten the maki roll in the order.
a week later when I was looking in my car for something I found the teriyaki chicken maki roll, as a self hating poorfag I figured worst case scenario I would give myself food poisoning and I had paid money for it, so I ate the week old maki roll.
it was still fresh, still delicious and I didn't get sick.

Depending on what I'm cutting, I won't thoroughly wash my cutting board. For example, if I was cutting celery, I'm just gonna rinse the board with cold water and put it away. I don't actually use soap & hot water unless there is a visible stain (such as fresh parsley) or if improper washing would be unsafe (such as raw meat).

And yes, I do have separate cutting boards.
>one for fruits, vegetables, and fresh herbs
>one for meat
>one for seafood
>one for bread, cheese, nuts, and dry cured meat

Even though I enjoy cooking and have been doing it for years, I still have no idea what a good knife is. I just use whatever my mom has, or whatever my workplace uses. My workplace uses Tomodachi (pic related), and my mom uses Kyocera and Cutco.

>>19536881
As I get older, I like cooking less and less. I used to come to this board a lot back in 2011 back when PHS guy posted here. that's how long I've been here.

once I was kinda hungry but I just started drinking my first beer and didnt want to "waste" it by going to buy food and have it wear off, so I shot a squirrel from my kitchen window with a pellet gun. I just shot though the window screen, the hole is still there. it was a great head shot, I skinned it by my backdoor, quartered it and fried it in olive oil.
it was pretty good, honestly. That is probably the craziest food related thing i've ever done. That was the first and only squirrel i've ever eaten. I was watching a video on how to skin one while drinking heavily one night and just thought, what the hell.

>>19545445
once you start realizing you're fucking up that badly, just stop everything. I've done stupid shit like this while cooking too. Just stop, and if you're cooking just for yourself, eat whatever ingredients in the most simple way possible, and if it's a group, explain to them that you have Downs syndrome, and order chinese food and have a laugh about it. dont keep going, it just gets worse and you'll get increasingly pissed off.

>>19546585
Damn bro, Lexi got fat. Such a shame, she was a longtime favorite of mine.

>>19543325
How does one make themself high by using meditation?

>>19536881
>Confess
I have found a new snack.

>>19546840
Fairly certain I don't remember the wine being the fruit of the energy drink and the work of 7/11 wagie hands.

>>19543605
make a new recipe you haven't tried just for yourself

>>19536881
I eat the dish no matter how it turns out.

>>19546557
The best knife is the one in your hand so long as it's sharp.

If you want your own knife, spend $150 on an 8" Zwilling chef knife and keep it sharp.

Don't drink the Japanese cool aid, if you cook get one you can through at the wall.

>>19546599
Yeah, I figured as much, and got told as much got lectured on as much it when I told the boss about it. Chef works 24/7/364 and gave me 2wks off. Thankfully even though I know there's some lurkers here, he's def not one of them.
(shit english)
Not going to take it right away, did fine tonight. Going to take the break through. "how can you cook for others if you can't cook for yourself?" . guy could cus out a nuclear bomb but then suddenly turn into a nurse the second your get weak.
thanks mang, I just wanted to rant on distress, didn't expect a reply to a rant like that

>>19543801
you press the buttons on the machine silly

>>19545445
thank you for this anon.

>>19540336
They do. They love it, in fact.
You just don’t see any of the scummy activity because they don’t hit rock bottom and they don’t use it publicly.

I mostly lurk. I don't remember who claimed it it anything and I'm currently drunk. I drink 25 beers average daily when I stop drinking I have trouble sleeping and can't get exactly comfortable sweating while feeling cold is basically all that happened. I did one time have seizures that was in my younger years where a 30 pack was a days ration and more was better before I stopped for a day. If you've had night terrors before, the hallucinations will not only not be scary, but kinda fun. The way I was sweating was fucked though. Anyway I think it's genetic. To this day I've never experienced the shakes despite having dts. It's safest to go to the hospital. Personally, I wouldn't bother though.

>>19540336
I grow my own opium and inhale it. It's not heroin but Im not incredibly addicted and have a stable life.

>>19536881
I eat fast food everyday and coat most of what I eat in my own semen.
[spoiler]I sent a picture of KFC’s fried chicken smothered in my cum to Gordon Ramsey and he blocked me on Twitter

>>19536881
Putting a steak in my air fryer is my favorite way of cooking them

A nice thick cut bone in takes 10 minutes flipping it over a the 5 minute mark.

>>19537092
I'm sure she's pretty. That's not a good thing to say though. Do you give her headpats and stroke her hair?

i have absolutely no palate and will enjoy eating pretty much anything in front of me. when everyone else is whining about something "missing this or that" im wolfing my plate down as fast as possible

>>19536881
Killed a burglar in cold blood in my house with the same chef's knife I serve my family. Police let me keep it after the investigation, got out scott free cuz he had a toy gun so it was a clear self defense case. The fucker messed up my kitchen hardwood floor. Still chuckle a bit wenever I use it for cooking. My wife hatea the knife and tells me I'm a psycho for keeping it.

>>19536890
sir this board is intolerant of racism of any kind.

take that to reddit

>>19548831
cool story bro

>>19536881
One time this woman from New Zealand hosted a dinner and I'm 90% certain it was human meat in the shape of kebabs.

I intentionally put back empty boxes, cartons, bottles, etc. in the fridge and cupboards to fuck with my family.

I once made "Italian Poutine" by making a plate of French fries and putting marinara sauce, mozzarella cheese, and parmesan cheese on top. It was practically spaghetti but with fries instead of pasta.

>>19536881
I ran out of spaghetti sauce and used salsa for a carbonara

>>19550729
My girlfriend made a carbonara with Doritos nacho cheese dip once.

>>19549605
>"Italian Poutine"
you mean "Irish spaghetti"

I made my parents Risotto on a whim
We had leftover roast chicken so I thought it could be fun to make Risotto because I rarely do
Well I put 1 tb of butter in at the start and then mixed 2 tb of butter in at the end
My mother said it tasted great and asked me what was in it, I lied and said 1 tb of butter not the 3 tb of butter that was in it

>>19550915
y-you lied to your mother D:

>>19550729
>>19550758
Get off my planet. Now.

>>19550915
This is why most recipes come out tasting bland. They underdo the really tasty/unhealthy ingredients, as of the author feels their readers will judge them for imploring them to make something unhealthy. Where in reality I think a recipe should be judged by whether it comes out tasting good. If you want to eat something healthier, that’s on you. Eat something else. Don’t ruin a dish because you don’t want to feel “bad” about eating it.