/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>19478276
>I hate minorities, but they probably hate me too teehee
Oh women

>>19478276
Do people really do this? I’ve always just gone for whatever I need if someone was standing in front of it. They usually move a bit out of the way once they notice me going for something

>cat want fish
>sheep want salad
>monke want banan

>>19478276
The cat is hot

>>19478276
I just say “excuse me” in my loud cockney accent. I also am conscious is someone is surveying things next to me and get out of their way. I don’t know why immigrants are so rude about this type of thing

>>19478305
yeahavnn0a

>>19478276
African Americans will intentionally stand in the way and take longer if they notice you waiting for them. I’m not a fan of those people

>>19478276
>3-steak packs are on sale
>”Limit 2 packs per customer”
>boomer female has loaded her cart with everything in the case
>examines one, starts to put it back, stops. picks out another pack in her cart, examines it, starts to put it back, stops.
>this goes on for at least five minutes
>I got sick of her shit and complained.
>Butcher brought me two packs from the back of BEAUTIFUL cuts, THICK, perfect marbling. Thank him profusely.
>walk back to the steaks where that boomer was. STILL.
>She does a double take of my cart.
>I take out a package from my cart, look at it, start to put it back, stop. Then pull the other pack out, look at it, start to put it back, stop.
>She started putting steaks back.
>I grabbed a pack she put back, then pulled one of my nice packs out to look at it.
>I could feel her anxiety.
>The anticipation.
>I put her pack back.
I heard her scoff, then she powerwalked off, shoving her cart still piled with way too many steaks. She was going to have to put those back. So I kept standing next to the steaks and called my mom. Had a nice long conversation about how we were all having steak later.

>>19478276
"Excuse me I need this"
Grab what you need and continue shopping

>>19478276
I think that black sheep is cute.

>somewhat young at the time and used my ID to buy cigarettes and beer
>my ID photo is outdated and looks awful
>he gives it back to me
>he starts laughing and asks if he can look at it again
>let him and he laughs even more

>>19478276
It's infuriating how many people leave their cart on one side of the aisle and then stand on the other side to look for shit so no one can pass.

>>19478387
Learn to laugh at yourself. I still keep an old ID around from my mid-20s. I'm super fat, have a huge unkempt beard, and am wearing flannels in it. I show it to people to get a laugh, as I looked like a Mountain Serial Rapist in it.
Folks are so self serious these days.

Anyone else walk around cursing everyone out in their head who mildly inconveniences them?

>>19478408
>Learn to laugh at yourself
I do and usually don't give a shit about anything but something about this particular time was painful. It made him cackle like a madman. I was also a lot younger.

>>19478314
Ugh. For me it’s black females. Don’t hover or hesitate. Just reach in and grab what you need and keep going on, obliviously. Don’t look at them. If you hesitate for a second waiting for them to move they’ll jut that chin out and start talking louder to whoever it is they have on speaker phone, then make a production out of taking their dear sweet time. I don’t know what it is about black women specifically these days but they always seem to be trying to create a situation.

>>19478458
For me it's the obese scooter jockeys

>hear a commotion from the cheese aisle
>some guy yelling about how it's a disaster
>look over
>American couple panicking about something
>guy yells WHERE'S THE MOZZ several times
>he's standing directly in front of the mozzarella section
>the two of them storm off empty handed

>>19478464
Oh, they’re awful, too. They don’t seem to go out of their way to pull some kind of weird flex to try to make me wait, though. They’re just slow and obese, managing to block both “lanes” of foot traffic, like a parade float slowly drifting down the middle of the road.

>>19478359
In English please

>>19478276
This is why you don't bathe for a week before going to a busy store, makes people move out of your way

>>19478305
sexo gato

>>19478276
>using self checkout register
>thing refuses to work because it never does
>no one monitoring the self checkout because store gets low traffic
>go wandering through the store to find an employee to help
>disgruntled she crosses the whole store to beep her card on the machine, have to do the awkward walk of shame behind her
Glad I mostly shop at lidl now so I don't have to interact with that store anymore. Although my first time at lidl I triggered the alarm like 3 times because I didn't know where to leave the shopping basket and tried taking it with me through the door and back to the entry to drop it off there. But I must have been in some oddly good mood or something because while it was bad I didn't feel as embarrassed as in the first scenario.

>>19478276
That mandrill wearing a Megadeth shirt is hot.

>>19478305
she ate the penis

>>19478464
*BEEP BEEP BEEP*

>go to store to buy cheese
>cheese is in the back of the store
>hear, “EXCUSE ME! *wheeeeze* CAN YOU *wheeeze* HELP ME?”
>a woman shambles over to me, theatrically clutching her chest, waiving an inhaler
>she gives this long story about how she only needs $20 to be able to refill her inhaler can you plz gib money
>”Uh, lady, I’m just here to buy some cheese.”
>she says okay and slinks off
>I complain to manager about being pestered by a panhandler INSIDE the store
>manager: “Oh, she’s wearing a dress, right? Yeah, I’ve seen her.”
>……
>casually thank the manager to end the conversation
>put the cheese down, then go to leave store
>on my way out she’s now at the front of the store trying to grift two startled-looking women as they walk in, basically blocking their entrance
>I glance behind me and see the manager just standing there, watching
Needless to say I ain’t been back.

>>19478497
>go to walmart self-checkout
>no employees there
>there is a sign on the screen that says "no camera" and there is an icon with a slash through a camera
...are they trying to bait me into stealing for a social experiment or what?

>>19478516
There's a store near me that always has beggars in front of it, although in my experience they tend to be fairly chill.

>>19478299
Depends if it some smelly minority then yes, if it is something sexy I make sure to reach over them, squishing them between the shelf and me. Say 0.001 seconds before "xcuse me" and they even feel bad for taking space

>>19478359
what

>Walking down aisle
>Completely oblivious woman steps into the middle of the aisle on her phone.
>Walk behind her
> "UHH EXCUSE YOU"
> "Maybe watch where you're going"
>Get to checkout.
>One cashier, only half the self checkouts work, 20 people in line.
>Set basket down and walk out.

I made something different for dinner.

Another fun one. Old lady lets me cut her in line, I have two items. Asks the lady in front of her if I could go before her. Tell granny I'm fine and it was nice. Granny and the other old boomer start arguing with each other. The grumpy lady said she needed to feed her cats so time was of the essence. Granny keeps talking shit to her. Goes on about how rude people are nowadays. Tells me she has a grandson her age and good luck with school. Thanked her for being awesome.

>>19478533
Sounds better than having a family of gypsies begging and showing you their little gypsy babies that they've previously given alcohol to drink so they can appear to be sick

>>19478276
Old people ruin everything. I had to wait 20 minutes today for some old (70's) JEWish couple to stop browsing the prepackaged lunch meat section. It's small, so you can only really browse one at a time, but the lady had to put her filthy old hands on everything before she made up her mind.

>>19478359
Nothing about this shit makes sense

>>19478585
My part of the city can be kinda shit at times, but I'm thankful every day that we at least have no gypsies. Where my mom lives there are gypsies digging through your trash and swarming stores and she carefully chooses what streets to walk her dog on at night because one time some of them tried to lure her dog into their van. Fuckers are a menace.

>>19478575
>Tells me she has a grandson her age and good luck with school.
So she's a ghost or a time traveller? That's fucking spooky. I would have run out of there.

>>19478359
This didnt happen, but I would like if it did.

>>19478516
This never happened. Why do people lie for attention?

>>19478359
ESL

>>19478610
This did happen, I was the guy who got the steak

>>19478593
>one time some of them tried to lure her dog into their van
typical gyp behavior, like spitting on your food or stealing those giant ketchup dispensers at fast food places. best wishes to your mom

>>19478478
>>19478573
>>19478592
>>19478603
>>19478615
put it back

>>19478603
Nope. It happened. I don’t know if the manager was stoned or what but he clearly had zero fucks to give. I had been harassed in the parking lot before grifters (how is it that they ALL have a story and ALL need exactly $20?) but never inside the store. Ain’t been back.

>>19478648
He wasn't responding to your post, genius.

>>19478648
Meant for >>19478610

>>19478622
People on 4chan can't afford steak.

>>19478359
I get it
You're obscenely autistic

>>19478359
you sound like an insufferable bitch

>>19478653
uh, yeah I was retard, thats why I responded to it. Are you a tourist?

>>19478690
Seek professional help.

>>19478299
Yeah just hover around for a few seconds to see what I want to grab, then reach over and get it.
I don't begrudge people being fussy about getting the perfect bell pepper or whatever, but they're going to get their personal spaces invaded. Just how it is.

Spent 30min looking for an item that I kept walking by because it was placed in the very bottom of the shelf and pushed back a bit so not noticable unless you know it's there and squat down to look for more. Those 30mins were also spent looking for an employee to help me find it but apparently there are no fucking employees on the floor at Winndixie

>>19478695
Are you a professional?

>>19478705
Not that kind.

Do you ever get hangry?

>>>>19478709
Want to give it a shot?

>>19478720
I can listen.

>>19478472
They're American pride floats

>>19478717

>>19478467
guy probably wanted real mootz

>>19478819
>mootz
lmao that's exactly what he sounded like. I'm 90% sure we had real or whatever type of mozzarella he wanted there, there's like a dozen different brands in bags of water alongside the dry vacuum sealed stuff, but I'm not a mozzarella doctor.

>had a slip for bottle returns
>need to get the dude at the self-checkout to put it in
>after he goes through my shit and scans the item that I "forgot" to scan
Fucking cocksucker. I give my slips to my mom now.

>>19478276
My local place has moved all the loyalty card shit onto an app, so now instead of having to wait while the boomer in front of me fumbles with a plastic card, it's
>cashier asks if they have the loyalty thing
>they say yes, then blue screen for four seconds while they remember where it is
>pull out the phone
>flip open the cover that they all use for some reason
>peer at the lock screen
>remember their passcode
>poke around trying to find the app
>sign in to the app
>poke around trying to find the voucher screen
>hold the phone out to show the cashier as if they're gonna fucking scan the QR code with there eyes
>cashier redirects them to hold it under the scanner
>struggle to understand that it goes under the red light
>cashier does it for them

>be me in sweats
>shopping for charcoal
>milf in yoga pants
>hot as hell
>knocks over a loaf of bread or something i don't know
>bends over to pick it up
>i can see her vagina through her pants
>vagina is pierced
>instantly pitch a tent
>she sees me get the boner staring at her ass and vagina
>"Henry!"
>the tallest nigga on the planet steps out of nowhere
>she's fucking crying and this dude looks like he's about to fucking kill me
>he has a knife clip in his pocket
>security guard steps in
>lady accuses me of harassing her
>i swear i didn't i'm crying now (i'm fucking 15 btw)
>whole thing caught on camera
>watch it with the boyfriend Henry the lady the security guard the store manager and a cashier
>didn't realize but i did an IRL silent Uwoogaa
>my fucking tongue hung out
>they're laughing at me except the woman who is pissed
>not enough for them to call the cops
>tall guy calls me a fag as he leaves
>humiliated
>get home
>realize i forgot to get the charcoal
and I haven't been to that Ralphs sense.

>>19479005
>didn't realize but i did an IRL silent Uwoogaa
fucking lmao

>>19478387
>be troon
>get stopped at the airport every time because I look nothing like my passport
it’s annoying and awkward every time

>Local grocery store has 25ish lanes
>One cashier on and 2 self checkouts
>2 people are manning the self checkouts
>whydoesn'toneofthemhavearegister.jpg
>Oh well I guess I'm standing in line
>In line for OVER 45 MINUTES
>The 50 woman in front of me keeps making flustered gestures and is fucking hyperventilating because operating the self checkout is too hard
>Ask one of the 2 alcoholic looking boomers keeping vigil over the self checkout to help her because she's been stuck for like 10 minutes and clearly can't figure it out
>They come over to her and start saying how I'm just in such a hurry and impatient
>I lose my temper and tell them "I'm sorry I asked you to do your job because this dumb fucking bitch can't figure it out"
>They start yelling back
>It's becoming a full chimpout
>Left all my shit and walked out of the store.
>Didn't go back for over a year
Why are boomers literally incapable of learning how to do anything? I've seen women so old they look like the crypt keeper who are more capable than 50 year old women with shitty haircuts

>>19478522
Lol interesting Ive never seen that. I don't remember when but all my stores have the opposite where a BIG screen on big red letters saying RECORDING flashes

>>19479005
>didn't realize but i did an IRL silent Uwoogaa

>>19478299
I can understand doing it because several times I've apparently made people so uncomfortable when I've waited behind someone picking their shit or doing a stretch to get my item, they have turned 180, made a "oh shit" face and hurriedly backed away several steps. Some even go "o-oh s-sorry".
I don't get their reactions, I'm not pressed against them or anything. Not too surprised though, some people act like they are completely alone at the store and being reminded of otherwise surprises them greatly.

>>19478406
I like to aim for the spot they are standing with my own cart. Approaching rapidly but slowing down as I get closer. Eventually creeping in slowmo just inches from their body with the front of the cart, staring them down intently. They'll move back to let me pass but inevitable leave the cart in the same place while doing the same thing after you pass.

>>19479054
Lead poisoning. Oddly Gen X should be the ones who had it worst, but they seem okay if a little obsessed with obscure bands. Maybe it's just because they're not in charge of everything.

>>19479054
Dude I have no idea why that is true, but it is. You get behind some old codger and they wait patiently in line and pay promptly. Or they operate the self checkout with competence. God help you if you get behind some boomer woman in capris pants. She’ll fidget and huff and make loud comments for the cashier to hear about how slow everybody else is (they’re not) then when it’s her turn fumble around in her purse like it JUST NOW dawns upon her that she might need her rewards card or have to pay for her items. Then she invariably demands a price check on AT LEAST one item.

>>19478497
I'm amazed by all the stories of self checkouts not working the americas. Does it require exact weigh ins for each item to let you pass with dinged up scales that constantly fuck up or what?
Here I just pre-weigh my shit, bleep it and walk out. Having started early I never get checked "randomly" either. The machines never malfunction in a way that requires staff either.

>>19478812
based

>>19479005
Well that one's going in my collection

>>19479185
I'm not american. They do measure the weight of your items when you put them in, which is usually where the problems come from. Especially if you bring your own bag (I usually go shopping on my bike and put stuff directly in my backpack).
And it's not bad in all stores, the lidl self checkout is great.

>>19478717
My dad and sister does notoriously so. He has to be carefully maintained if we're eating out later an evening or he'll just storm into whatever is closest and eat some shit he'll regret. I just lose energy until I stop feeling like using my legs for a while. Pressed further I don't even feel hungry anymore that day.
I don't get people that just explode like that, I can go to bed hungry if it's unfeasible to make food in the middle of the night.

>>19479218
>Jostling the bottle swiftly like that when trying to register it
>Pretends to be operating the touch screen by randomly pressing things in opposite corners, twice
What is he even attempting here? Another staged social media video of "a funny stupid thing"?

>>19479245
I found this when googling about the webm for information and now I'm sad.

>>19479354
I'm guessing they noticed a lot of kids like doing self checkout (machine goes beep) so they made a toy out of it.
Personally I had a kitchen toy as a kid.

>>19479360
i think the difference there is that everybody needs to learn their way around a kitchen (in fact, i'm sure most parents relish in the day their kids can make their own meals), but nobody wants to see their child grow up to be a cashier. i agree with you that it's pretty harmless, though

>>19479396
I mean I didn't learn much from my kitchen toy either, I just liked pushing the buttons and turning knobs. Actually cooking with my mom and dad had way more of an impact on my desire to cook.

>go to grocery store earlier than usual
>there are more people there

>go to the grocery store on a weekend
>mexican children

>>19479447
They have so many no one will miss one

>>19478303
i never realized that

>>19479476
the elites dont want you to know the brown kids at the store are free, i have 458 slaves

>>19478303
Based observer

>>19479360
I had a drive through toy as a kid. Kids like imitating things.

>>19479354
Why would this make you sad? They've made toys based on kitchens and grocery stores for decades.

>tooling around doing my shopping
>sound of breaking glass and feminine panic at the end of the aisle
>round the corner and there's two 30 year old ladies awkwardly holding up a wire basket display of wine bottles
>shattered glass and wine everywhere
>pick my way over and grab the basket to help them out
>they just casually walk away, not their problem now
>have to shout for an employee over in the butcher shop to come help he disengage from the mess
I really shoulda heaved a bottle at their heads.

>>19478276
I just order my food online, so my shopping experience is usually pretty good.

>>19479354
You've never been a kid if you don't understand the appeal of this toy.

>>19479489
Because self checkout machines are such a locus of modern garbage. We get held hostage by a poorly programmed computer while we prove our bag is empty and dutifully weigh fruits and enter product codes so that the supermarket company can fire five people that used to do that job and charge us more anyway, and it's turned into a fun beep boop toy for toddlers. It's like having a My First Boot to Lick.

>>19479555
Trips confirm you need to take your meds.
>>19479500
That's why you never try to help.

>>19479555
Seek help

>>19478502
Faggot

>>19479568
>>19479639
I'm not sure what part of "self checkout machines suck" you find so objectionable.

>>19479661
>We get held hostage by a poorly programmed computer
Get. Help. Now.
Touch. Grass.
Ingest. Meds.

>>19479670
>be me
>buying five cans of san marzanos
>scan one can 5 times and put all 5 cans in the bag
>the pole flashes and the screen displays a video loop of me putting the cans in the bag
>an employee comes over, presumably to shoot me for shoplifting since this is America
>all cans in the bags are accounted for in scanned item display
>get told to be careful next time
Now I'm always really careful lest that one Kroger employee find out

>>19479555

>>19479670
Argue with either part of that simple construction. You can't leave until you've done what it expects to its satisfaction, and there have been maybe three things in human history that were well programmed. I'm sorry a basic metaphor has dropped such a boulder in the pond of your mind.

>>19479686
oh fuck that's pretty good

>>19479686

>>19479686
Kek perfect

>>19479555
>>19479694
>This is you

>>19479714
Who are you quoting?

>>19479683
>>the pole flashes and the screen displays a video loop of me putting the cans in the bag
i never seen this happen before. i screw something up 100% of the time in self-checkout so i will have to be watching an instant replay of myself once this feature gets rolled out everywhere

>>19478276
THE MONKEY WANT THE BANANA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

>>19478610
It must be nice living in a wealthy community far away from the dregs of society. Leave your ivory tower and get out in the world sometimes ya faggot.

I hate it when people try to make conversation in store, I have poor social skills with strangers but the female staff at my local grocery store always force me into a conversation when they see me.

Today they wanted to talk about the weather and started talking about their dogs. Bruh just give me the hot chicken I ordered.

>>19478276
I want to fuck that cat

>>19479788
The cat wants the fish, the sheep wants the salad and the monkey wants the banana

>>19479880
sir why are you trying to make my tiny white cocklet extremely stiffy wiffy?

>>19479755
You you angsty child

>>19479990
Thank you for shopping at Tesco.

>>19479005
HOLY BASED!

>>19479880
Pls stop posting hnnnnng

I forgot this place turns into a boomer playground around 10pm.

>>19478359
Things that didnt happen for $500

>>19478359
nigger

>>19478305
It's a cartoon cat.

>>19478276
>get digital gift card
>print it out to use in store
>about to pay
>cashier scans it as an item instead of payment
>happens two more times, locks up computer
>have to wait 10+ minutes for supervisor to reset machine

That's happened three or four times. I'm thankful for self check-out and apps that hold gift cards.

>>19480152
A hot cartoon cat

>>19480166
based

>>19478276
Walmart. Lots of low income and inconsiderate people who make shopping and checkout a pain

>>19478458
>black
>woman
Really it speaks for itself

>>19479054
It's the generations of fat times and hard times. The hard times know how to cope.

>>19478717
>Women needs to be treated like children as they throw their temper tantrum

>>19478497
Self checkouts are so fucking simple I'm going to assume you're a retarded boomer.

>>19479555
Please die you boomer retard

>>19479555
>so that the supermarket company can fire five people
Why do retards believe this unquestioningly? Is it to keep from admitting to yourself that youre too dumb to use new technology? SCOs create more jobs objectively

>>19481279
yeah in china where they make them

>>19481281
nope in every store active self checkout machines have at least one host not to mention the engineers and technicians that service the thing. you're crying about the most menial pointless labor being automated so that humans can actually develop more specialized jobs like history has always fucking done. moron

>>19481293
>one wagie to stand watch over 8 machines and 2 guys who cover 5 different stores to come through when something breaks
You're right that it's for the best and every shit job should be automated out of existence but at the moment, it's definitely decreasing the number of Jobs per grocery store.

>>19478276
One time during the time that Real Canadian Superstore was open 24/7 near Christmas, I went to the one in metrotown, and the fucking curry nigger security guard followed me all around the fucking store. Fucking sack of shit. I really appreciate the insinuation that I'd steal something if he didn't have his head up my ass the whole time.

>>19481293
What more specialized job is the Walmart now hiring more of thanks to self checkout?

>>19478305
I'm sorry, you've contracted the OwO virus.
It progresses into furryism

>>19481310
Ò_Ó

>>19481310
T-T

>>19478417
Nah, I'm not a closet homo

>>19481271
The complexity isn't the problem, the barely functioning scale is.

>>19481310
I refuse to believe this, I will never be a furry it's just that I find that cat very very hot

>>19481279
>create more jobs
Right, make sure you leave your cart in the parking lot and smash a couple windows on the way home to create more jobs too.
>>19481293
>most menial pointless labor being automated
If it were automated that'd be great, it's not fucking automated though, is it? You have to do the "menial pointless labor" now. You know what the industrial revolution brought us? Division of labor, where one person takes care of a tedious thing efficiently instead of every person having to do a tiny bit of it poorly.
Christ, I know this is the ramen and tendies board but I didn't think it was entirely populated by witless naifs.

>>19479555
>someone criticizes self checkout
>a crowd of social anxiety autists gather to give him a struggle session
Like clockwork

>>19478276

>>19479880
Damn check out the shitter on that critter

>>19479005

The lady was awful and mean to you.

>>19479354
They are trying to feed us capitalism.