/ck/ - Food & Cooking

Yeah, or just get a thicker spatula

Hey Dumbass, try using a hammer next time to smash your burgers. Just smash the burger with your hammer while it is in the pan, or on the grill.
SMASH SMASH SMASH
Also, make sure to drink plenty of Gatorade. It has electrolytes. People crave electrolytes. Herpaderp

The more steel bends the weaker it gets.

>>19458143
Steel is designed to flex and remain strong that’s literally why it’s discovery was a civilizational upgrade

>>19458142
schizo post

>>19458152
>schizo post
Someone is mad because they got called out on their utter retardation.

>>19458155
I'm not mad anon :3

>>19458136
>hate owning tons of shit that only has one use...
Good thing you've now tried making smash burgers and realized they're a stupid meme and not actually something you want to eat regularly. (You should still get a better spatula for fucks sake.)

>>19458205
So you only make normal burgers?

>>19458205
Smash burgers are great and you're a seething bent spatula tard. 90% of a smash burger is seared crust - ie the best part of the fucking burger
How could cooklets be so wrong?

>>19458215
You make it sound like "normal burgers" are somehow boring and restrictive, when in reality you can cook them however you like and add whatever toppings you want. Every time I see a smash burger it's nothing but thin, overcooked patties with way too much cheese and typically very little in the way of other toppings. So yeah, I guess I make "normal burgers" if that means I make a wide variety of burgers, and if I want a well-done quarter inch patty I'll just go to Burger King.

>>19458221
Thank you! I was just curious! I'm a noob! I had no idea smash burgers were so controversial that's all!

>>19458151
If you keep bending it back and forward it will eventually snap.

>>19458221
>Smash burgers don't need half a grocery store produce isle to taste good
>Thick pattielets think this is a bad thing
"Overcooked" lmao Guess how I know the center of your burgers are lukewarm, flavorless slop.

>>19458223
Smash burgers are just cheap diner burgers cooked on a flat top grill. The "smashing" part was originally just a matter of convenience and speed for a short order cook with limited grill space. But a couple years ago all the clickbait youtubers started making videos about them as though they're some lost bit of Americana that's so much better than anything we have today. These videos are CLICKBAIT; they're designed to be controversial in order to get views. The problem with /ck/ these days is that half the people here watch this clickbait crap and come here to talk about it. And they're all absolutely positive that they have some inside knowledge, and will tell you about the "seared crust", and how they're so juicy, and whatever other made-up bullshit. If you ever see someone refer to a normal burger as a "thick burger" they're using reddit terminology. Correct them and just says "a normal fucking burger".

Niggas it's fuckin mince on bread. Calm down with the elitism.

>>19458238
As fucked up as my country is, it's nice knowing that I can go to the grocery store and not be confronted by people trying to sell me "mince". I like watching Mad Max, but I don't actually want to live it.

>>19458237
>Smash burgers are controversy clickbait
>The comments of smash burger videos and recipes are never controversial
You're just projecting your own seething rage
also
>Seared crusts are "made up bullshit"
Is that why you boil your burgers? You fucking brainlet

>>19458244
Literally the same shit cunt.

imagine being so insecure that you have to defend how you shape your patties or so retarded that you can't do it without breaking kitchen equipment

>>19458246
>he said he doesn't believe in sear!
>he must boil his burgers (lol)!
>what a fucking brainlet!
The irony is palpable.

>>19458254
That's not me and it was my first time okay

t. op

>>19458256
>"will tell you about the "seared crust", and how they're so juicy, and whatever other made-up bullshit"
Idk sounds like someone doesn't believe in seared their burgers. Or were you just pretending that's NOT a strength of smash burgers?

>make burgers at home
>absolutely grease splatterfest to the point where i never want to make burgers at home ever again

>>19458262
>seed oil
anon...

>>19458136
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fatigue_(material)

>>19458262

>>19458259
>sounds like someone doesn't believe in seared their burgers
>or were you just pretending that's NOT a strength of smash burgers?
Of course you sear burgers, retard. And if you make normal burgers you can get a great sear without overcooking them. Smash burgers are literally the "all edges brownies" of the burger world. It's a dumb infomercial that plays for a couple hours at 4 am for a few years and everyone who thought it sounded like a good idea feels like an idiot for buying into it. To put it another way: suggesting that only smash burgers have a good sear is like when a vegan claims that non-vegans don't eat vegetables. It's just completely absurd.

>>19458136
I use my gist covered in parchment paper. That's how you do smash burgers.

>>19458269
still going to get splatter when it's off and you just end up with another thing that needs to be cleaned

>>19458271
>Smash burgers are literally the "all edges brownies" of the burger world
Thank you for admitting smash burgers are objectively better
>suggesting that only smash burgers have a good sear
No one said that, idiot. I said sear was a strength of the smash burger.
>great sear without overcooking them
It's not a fucking steak, you pretentious mongoloid. No one is going to be impressed with the doness or texture of your 20 shredded cow slurry. They'll care how it tastes. I hope you mix seasonings into your meat, or else I pity the poor faggots that have to deal with your flavorless pink middles

>>19458136
Don't just hold the handle and push down. Push down on the flat part that's touching the patty.

>>19458286
But then I could get a drop of raw meat on my hand

>>19458287
Don't just hold the hand and push down. Push down on the flat part that's not touching the patty.

>>19458291
There's holes in it

>>19458292
That's because you're pore

>>19458292
Don't just hole the hand and push down. Push down on the flat part that's not holing the patty.

>>19458299
Don't hole ov in the hot food, ov out hot eat the flat part that's not holding the patty.

>>19458297
>>19458299
It's like this

>>19458143
That's carbon fiber, you dip.

>>19458305
God fucking damn it my stupid pore joke doesn't fucking work fuck you and you're dipshit burgers

>>19458308
I got the joke I guess but it wasn't very funny and I don't think I'm poor

>>19458307
Carbon fibre doesn't bend.

>>19458312
Regardless, you fucking asshole, the holes would have to be more circular for it work.

>>19458319
Yeah, circular like an asshole.

>>19458319
Not really and how am I an asshole anon?

>>19458339
like an aaasssshoole, circular for the very first tiiiiime

>>19458340
Yes really, hence 'pore', and you said it wasn't funny, asshole.

>>19458345
Sorry...

>>19458348
I forgive you. Ellipsis aside.

>>19458350
Ty :3

>>19458136
>I hate owning tons of shit
KIKE THREAD, IGNORE AT ALL COSTS

>>19458396
https://unnecessaryinventions.com/super-bowl-punch-bowl/

bet you have this kind of shit faggot

Americans are the most retarded people on the planet, I swear.

>>19458283
>i hope you mix seasonings into your meat
Next time start with that. It will save everyone a lot of time reading through the rest of your nonsense.

>>19458136
White baby factory.

>>19458151
I used to filter the word 'literally' because everyone used it redundantly. However now I don't because redundant use flags retardation.

This artificial smash burger hype feels like the dumbfuck bacon craze from like a decade ago.

>>19458262
>grease splatterfest
Your pan is too hot and/or you're being a dumbass and adding oil to the pan.

>>19458136
use a bottle to press down on the flat side of the spatula, dumdum
burger go smash
spatula don't bend

>>19458136
>hate owning tons of shit that only has one use...

I don’t, perks of being a loner, if I had a gf that also had a ton of one use tools that might be annoying.

>>19458136
put something on top of the spatula like a wooden mallet and use the force of it to smash it instead of the spatula itself you fucking retard

>>19459024
>spatula now has a dent
Good going genius

>>19458136
Wut

>>19458571
that's me irl

I was afraid of bending my spatula thats like 30 years old so I got one of these. If you make burgers often its worth it.

forgot pic
also it is a fucking splatterfest but I got a big griddle to put on my gas grill outside

You use a paint scraper from the hardware store and press it down with your pepper grinder

>>19458547
>He doesn't
Grim. Given your enormous ego, I can tell no one has had the heart to tell you your burgers are flavorless shit. Or maybe you don't have anyone in your life that could tell you.

>>19458136
I suppose that's why in most examples you see of people making smash burgers, they'll press with the spatula, and then use the handle of another utensil to press harder into the middle of the spatula head.

>>19460100
>it's impossible to cook a steak that isn't flavorless shit

>>19458141
>just get a thicker spatula
This, do yourself a favor and get one of the big rectangular really heavy duty ones made for use on a flat top, they're sturdy as hell and if you get one of the ones with a beveled edge on the front they're really good for chipping up meat in the pan for stuff like cheesesteaks.

>>19458136
how to make a smash burger

buy a garden brick
wash it off
wrap it in foil
put burger patty in frying pan
smash yourself over the head with the brick you fucking goblino

Boobs

>>19458237
seared bite

>>19458281
So take the pan off heat, wait for the simmer to die down a bit then take the lid off?

>>19458136
you could just use a rock, couldn't you?

>>19458244
>Buying pre-minced meats that are ready packed in the grocers
I shiggy diggy. Go to the butchers and pick out a cut, tell them to rinse it first, the mince it on spot. Never buy meat that wasn't minced before you

>>19458136

>>19458136
>bent it back is it ok to bend it every time I make burgers
that will work harden the handle and it will eventually rip and tear. just buy a cast iron flat press.

>>19458143
it doesnt get weaker it gets harder

>>19458151
if it is heat treated spring steel you tard, which OPs spatula is not

>>19458136
Use your bare hand like a man

>>19458136
Let me give you a real answer op. Form your ground meat into small balls, 2 oz or 50 g each. Slap them into a hot cast iron and let them sit in ball state for 30 seconds before you smash them; the heat will soften the meat so it's easier to smash and easier on your spatula.