/ck/ - Food & Cooking

honestly?

stuffed crust deluxe pizza
loaded hash browns
pistachio almond ice cream
iced vanilla latte (2x)

>>19374595
200mg Oxycodone
pack of smokes
bottle of scotch
I'm presuming none of these are allowed though so I'll just fast. I'm sure whatever I did to get the death penalty means I deserve what's coming.

>>19374599
what are loaded hashbrowns? same as loaded baked potato but just on hashbrowns?

>>19374602
doesn't mean you can't enjoy a steak before you go.

>>19374595
if its by electric chair i eat eel to gain immunity to electrocution, if its injection i eat snake to get natural antivenom

>>19374605
yeah

>>19374621
mmm that's a good one.

4 pounds of crispy bacon, a medium rare grilled 20 ounce porterhouse, a pint of rocky road, a slice of new york cheesecake, and an ice cold 6 pack of lager to wash it all down.

Doesn't matter, so long as I get to eat it in front of a starving orphan.

>>19374633
you'll get to eat it in front of an angry cellmate who wants you to share or he's going to rape you.

>>19374633
this is why you’re being put down

>>19374595
KWAB

>>19374595
Stop LARPing and put your ass on Death Row

>>19374638
Can't rape a willing bottom, faggot. He can have my mussy all day, he still ain't gettin' none of my pot pie. It's my pot pie. He can't have any.

>>19374644
Oh, good. I was worried it might have been for the other stuff.

four fried chickens and a coke.

For me? The Gandolfini.

If I knew I was going to jail for life or the death penalty I would kill myself long before they could.

>>19374595
Fresh, wet, clean shaven 20 year old pussy and ass.

>>19374756
>20 year old pussy
>fresh

>>19374595
I refuse the last meal.
I strive to be not of this world.

>>19374595
how much time do they give you? Probably a rack of ribs, oven done so they pull apart. Poutine with extra cheese curds, Harveys (canada) vanilla milkshake.

>>19374617
I took a soldering and fabrications course at the local community college. Instructor was an old railroad guy. Said when he started working on the railroad he was constantly getting electrocuted. He said he started eating burnt toast every morning to build up the carbon in his body and eventually he stopped getting electrocuted. How much burnt toast could you eat? It might be your last chance of survival.

>>19374778
turbo based

>>19374778
this

>>19374787
>>>Curds
Yuck. Poorfag.

>>19374595
I don't think I'd have much of an appetite so probably just a cup of coffee.

>>19374790
And he died of ass cancer not sure if that matters

>>19374806
how am I poor? I'm not paying for my last meal dumbass

>>19374790
not necessary the eels are way more effective and if theyre really fresh i get some mild short term magneto powers to escape

>>19374630
that will you before they can take you the chair.

>>19374822
you could get real cheese on your poutine

>>19374828
curd is what you're supposed to use, amerifag.

>>19374833
no that's poorfag shit
curds have no flavor
cheese will melt to the fries and stick to them and be delicious

>>19374849
shut up

>>19374849
if the guy wanted cheese fries he would have said cheese fries, faggot. poutine is a dish like any other, it has its own fucking ingredients. my god you're stupid.

>>19374595
2x5-Layer Burrito, 2xTriple Double Crunchwrap and a 32oz coke

>>19374879
you could have anything and you'd really choose taco bell? that's crazy man. but you do you.

Bacon cheeseburger (one thick patty, swiss cheese) with:
grilled mushrooms
bread and butter pickles
barbeque sauce
side of mac and cheese
and a Founder's breakfast porter

probably some chinese food. this general tso chicken, some fried dumplings. now that would hit the spot.

>>19374595
2 x double qtr pounders
large chips (fries) with extra chicken salt
large gravy
chocolate brownies for dessert
pint of kaiju krush
and a cig for the end if im allowed

>>19374806
That's what a poutine is dumbass

>>19374595
Fried Shrimp
Fried Catfish
Hushpuppies
Gumbo
Butter Crackers
Fried Okra
Dill Pickles
Pickled Jalapenos
Texas Toast
Vanilla Ice Cream
1 pitcher each Unsweet Tea, Milk, and Dublin Dr. Pepper

>>19374778
I fucked 3 virgins that were 20 or older.

meth

>>19374595
a gallon of half & half and a jar of peanut butter
(i'm lactose intolerant and deathly allergic to peanuts)

>>19376361
They would be aware of that after having fed you for years, idiot

>>19374595
yo wtf I need to go kill me some 35 people for this meal fr

>>19374778
fine give me 14 years old one then

>>19376372
it's easy to avoid peanut butter and dairy for years

>>19376394
If your peanut allergy is anywhere in your medical history, they will know
Every time this thread pops up there are people who try to get clever and cute with their answer and it's always something dumb like this
or pic related

How would you even explain this to the feds?

>>19376399
i don't go to doctors

>>19376404
this is the kind of shit inmates already would be making out of commissary snacks for years ahead of time
why would you want that as your last meal?

>>19376413
you do in jail
you don't have a choice

>>19376414
funny

>>19374595

>>19374595

>>19376797
that looks delicious

>>19374778
this post glows so bright it's blinding

>>19376828
diarrhea?

Fuck it, doesn't matter anyway. Just kill me.

>>19376013
They lied to you.

>>19376831
a nice hot bowl of sloppa

yours truly, papa

Beef lamb gyro, Double cheese burger, strawberry shake, carrot cake, glass of cold water.

>>19374849
Dumbass they're there for texture and flavor not just flavor, and the best flavor should be from using high quality gravy. What kind of cheep ass poutien doesn't have curds?

>>19376842
Cope

>>19376842
Not that Anon but they probably didn't, you're porn and incel brain broken if you think every under 20 year old is fucking, especially these days when people are having less sex than ever

>>19376893
I use fresh mozzerella in my poutine

>>19376911
Not a bad addition, to poutine that already has cheese curds.

If no restrictions then I'd like a nice iv shot of heroin, a handrolled cigarette, and a bunch of opium to smoke, along with 5-10mg of diazepam.

I'd like 1 dragonfruit flavored vitamin water, a really perfumey mango and some napkins to clean my hands, a really peppery radish, and a cup of jasmine green tea, served in one of those hexagon cups like I get at the chink restaurant.

For my meal I'll take some battered mussels, a few blue crabs, a few oysters and scallops, some sticky rice with green curry, some sea urchin, and 2 scrambled eggs.

>>19376931
Amd no desert either, the release of death will be sweet enough

>>19376907
just because you can't get any doesn't mean other people aren't.

>>19376911
that isn't poutine. that's disco fries.

>>19376957
nope its poutine
I live in Saskatchewan

>>19376964
doesn't matter where you live. gravy and mozzarella on fries is disco fries. gravy and curds are poutine. Saskatchedeeznuts, bitch.

>>19376968
nah its poutine
cheese+gravy+fries is poutine
doesn't need to be a flavorless curd
just cheese
Cheese+grave+onion rings is also poutine

>>19376013
>>19376907
AHAHAHAHAHAHA

>>19374595
2 kilograms of sunflower seed and they have to sit and watch me crack every single one open with my teeth and spit the shell

>>19374778
based

>>19376823
the reddit exodus is real

>>19376418
Not in the US. Just claim to be a member of the Christian """"Science"""" movement. They're against medical intervention and the US must respect muh relishus freedumbz.

>>19374595
Roasted Brussels and Chili with beans. Ice cream sundae for dessert. Basically, I want to turn my body into a fart box before I die. One final act of violence.

>>19377105
unoriginal. see >>19376399 and feel bad about it.

I don't think I'd be able to eat. Probably just a 5th of Tito's and a pack of camel blues. Maybe a chicken burrito

>>19374595
5 xanax and the traditional with a side of buiscuits and gravy. and maybe throw a country fried steak in there... yeah, that sounds about right

my grandmother's pasta sauce. she's dead so they couldn't execute me. loophole! me 1 cops 0.

5 packs of Samyang Hot Chicken noodles

>>19374644
Poors deserve to suffer, unironically

>>19374595
Prime rib with horseradish cream sauce
Yorkshire pudding
Twice baked potato with bacon
Ambrosia salad
fine port

>>19378568
our existence is already suffering

>>19378568
>>19378605
good food is the only moment of joy for the majority of people these days. not just the poors.

>>19374787
>oven ribs
You deserve the death penalty

>>19378628
I mean he is on death row

Smoked ham
Beer-battered cod with fries
Kielbasa with sauerkraut
Buttered Cornbread
Lentil soup
Green beans with bacon
Hard-boiled eggs
Doctor Pepper
Macaroni and cheese

>>19378632
The system works!

>>19374595
>langers pastrami and liver
>tommys triple 1/4lb chili cheeseburger
>coca cola

>>19374595
A bowl of my aunt’s homemade chicken noodle soup and spaghetti and meatballs is all I need.

>>19374595
A burger served with fry sauce, mushroom, red onions, shredded lettuce tomato and muenster. Fresh waffle fries, a serving of apple crumble and a salted caramel milkshake. Served with a cinnamon toothpick so I have something to clean my teeth and work out my anxiety.
Maybe also a glass of water.

Bolognese, simmered for a while; butter drizzled on top, +shaved parmesan

Can of Red Bull + White Russian

Slice of red velvet cheesecake

>>19374595
Eggplant parm. Nachos with cheese, fresh salsa, and sour cream. Whole wheat and walnut pancakes with lots of butter and just a little real maple syrup. Greek yogurt with honey. Half club soda and half fresh orange juice to drink. Perfectly ripe honey mangoes, donut peaches, and cherries.

Burrito

>>19376964
Poutine is from Quebec you fucking hick.

>>19378506
unreasonable or unfulfillable requests are rejected
sorry you lose

>>19378978
you forgot activated almonds

>>19374595

Hot Rueben sandwich with a side of tater tots. Ginger ale to wash it down. For dessert, blueberry cobbler with a scoop of vanilla ice cream on top. Wa la

>>19374595
Fried shrimp
Tonkatsu
Country Fried Steak and gravy
Fried soft shell crab
Rice
Churros, funnel cake and a doughnut

>>19376980
Cope

>>19374819
Wait, anal cancer or colon cancer?

>>19374778

>>19378605
Go back to r/rickandmorty, fag
>verification not required

>>19374595
goyslop.
Lots of goyslop.

>>19374617
based autist

>>19374606
steak is probably the least enjoyable meat

>>19381785
and you're probably the least intelligent person.

Quessabirria tacos and lamb vindaloo

>>19374595
Lamb kebab with garlic sauce
Rhubarb and strawberry pie with vanilla ice cream
Extra large caramel thickshake
A virgin Japanese or Korean girl's shit, directly in my mouth
Whale burger
A pack of oxys
The roasted leg of a blonde gymnast
Frostie cream soda

>>19379758
Da fuck is THAT (so I know how to order it)?

>>19381991
kabalkanotta.

>>19382037
I think not.
try again.

>>19374595
>carolina style pulled porn sandwich with coleslaw on it and extra sauce on the side
>german potato salad
>steak fries
>burnt ends
>peacan pie for dessert
>rum and ginger beer to drink
>maybe a strawberry milkshake if i have room for it

>>19374595
Some really aged rare food nobody can make within the next 30 years

>>19382508
>"your request was reviewed and found to be unreasonable and/or unfulfillable. please submit a new request"
every faggot thinks they can find a clever loophole

>>19374595
A big American breakfast: scrambled eggs, hash browns, pancakes, sausage, etc. That or a simple bowl of black bean soup.

>>19382524
submit same request again

>>19382540
If you don't submit something reasonable that can actually be fulfilled by a certain date, you'll just get the standard meal.

>>19382547
I guess then I'll just ask for my own thigh. There shouldn't be any problems with that.

>>19382557
God you're an unfunny faggot

>>19382565
medium rare please

>>19382557
Of course there's a problem with that. They're not going to mutilate you and feed you human flesh.

One cum please.

>>19374595
Surf and turf filet mignon and prawns
Mashed potatoes with garlic
Grilled asparagus and squash
Bread pudding with vanilla ice cream
Iced tea and cherry coke

>>19382575
Sure, just give me some timed mechanism to chop my thigh off, let me press the button and sedate myself. They can handle the blood loss.

Obviously I don't need help eating. Hell, I would even cook it myself if needed.

>>19382594
That clearly falls under "unreasonable" request
Just ask for food like a regular person, you're not going to cheat the system

i order waffle house
>2 eggs up
>large hashbrown scattered smothered covered capped diced peppered
>1 biscuit
>1 cheese biscuit
>wheat toast
>sliced tomato
>side of pickles
>small oj
>water
>mix fruit jelly

plus 3 spicy potato soft taco from taco bell

1 steel reserve 40

>>19382609
whatever just give me guillotine and handle the blood loss. I'll hope I don't die from shock.
It's literally rope, few pieces of wood and some metal. Easier and cheaper to construct than many meals.

>>19382643
You're one dense motherfucker aren't you
>Prisoner #XXXX wants us to give him a guillotine custom-built to chop his own thigh off, so he can then cook and eat his own thigh meat
>Denied, obviously.
>Okay well he keeps asking, in different ways, for something like that
>What a pain in the ass. Just give him the daily prison tray.
That's what's going to happen

>>19374595
I dont think I would care about a last meal. >

>>19374605
each little bit of potato is individually loaded

>>19382696
>noooooooo you can't eat yourself
>why?
>nooooo you just caaaaan't okay?????

Anyway ask to access their griddle (alternatively a simple campfire) and sedatives. Won't even have to handle blood loss anymore since all that shit will be cauterized anyway.

>>19382713
>I dont think I would care about a last meal
They usually give it a few days ahead of time so people still have an appetite, but even then I'm not sure I could eat either

>>19382771
>noooooooo you can't eat yourself
Correct
>why?
They don't have to give you an answer
>Anyway ask to access their griddle
Denied for safety reasons
>and sedatives
Denied, they would never give an inmate access to narcotics
>Won't even have to handle blood loss anymore
That's really not the issue here

Request denied
Pick food
You're not funny or clever

Fillet Steak with Pepper Mushroom Thyme Sauce
A Crayfish with garlic butter
A Paua sliced and quick pan fried with garlic butter
Garden side salad
Beer Fries, Garlic Aioli and tomato relish dippings

A fat slice of black forest gateau
A can of pepsi and a can of Schweppes duet

Knowing as I do now that if you don't request something from a specific restaurant, it's just made by one of the Kitchen Staff guys, I would just request
>Surprise me
Not as a dick move or anything, I just mean make me whatever you want. Whatever you've got in the prison kitchen, just whip something up, I don't care. Maybe the guy on duty that day has a really good meatloaf recipe. Make that, whatever. It'll be a fun surprise for me to see what food I get.

Do you think they'd honor a request like that?

>it's another "newfags argue with troll about what is an isn't a reasonable request"
Every fucking time we have a last meal thread, every fucking time

>>19383075
I reasonably request that you suck on deez nuts

>>19374595
ass

>>19374595
a cream pie

haha

>>19374595
pussy

>>19383038
No, they’ll just give you that days lunch, probably spit on it, you’re a fucking death row inmate retard

>>19383196
The guys who work in the kitchen are inmates too. People aren't as disrepectful as you think, there's a decent chance they'd just make me some food. You know these things are supervised, right? Do you think they just allow inmates to work in the kitchen and fuck with the food without being surveilled?
Especially for something like a death row inmate's last meal, there will be oversight when it's prepared. It's not just some guy, himself a prisoner, working the kitchen alone. That's absurd.

And so what if they spit in it? Am I gonna get cooties right before they strap me to a table and lethally inject me? Oh no
>they’ll just give you that days lunch
entirely possible, and part of the "surprise" aspect which you don't seem to get
I'm not going to be hungry anyway, it's not about what food I'll actually eat and enjoy, it's about testing the people about to execute me to see what they'll give me

>>19383219
Christ imagine trying to save face this hard over a fucking imaginary scenario

>>19383228
I think it's an interesting thought experiment, sorry if two paragraphs is too much for you

>>19383228
>>19383196
why be such a nigger? what's the point?

>>19382459
>porn sandwich

Yankee Pot Roast (carrots, potatoes, onions)
Loaded Iceberg Wedge Salad (tomato, bacon)
w/ Hidden Valley Ranch Dressing
extra bottle of Ranch on the side
loaf of fresh French Bread w/ Butter
pitcher of Ice water
gallon of Whole Milk
as many Reese's Peanut Butter Cups as the budget will allow for

>>19382824
Whatever food they bring me, it wasn't what I asked so I will stick my thigh on the plate, fork in my thigh straight and knife in it 45 degree angle. If they deny me utensils I will just bite straight into it. They don't cook me, they don't let me cook myself so the only option left is raw.
If they try to stop me I will file a formal complaint arguing there's literally nothing wrong with self-cannibalism, and that I'm being treated unfairly.

>>19383617
you're retarded and your ridiculous comments along with the other asshole have derailed this thread. kys.

>>19383627
they're not gonna allow me to kill myself before killing me my dude

>>19376784
>and a smiley face in my Dr. Pepper

Heroin

A 4 pound bucket of lard
8 liters of Pepsi
3 buckets of KFC
2 pounds of mac and cheese

It's going to smell so bad when they electrocute me :)

>>19374595
My own ass cheeks, cooked Memphis style.

>>19383967
>>19383972
unoriginal and unfunny. you both should be ashamed of your retardation.

>>19383260
>>19383248
Lmao retard

>>19383975
>unoriginal and unfunny. you both should be ashamed of your retardation.
Haha, this guy called you unoriginal and unfunny. Everyone laugh at the unoriginal and unfunny fags because they are unoriginal and unfunny. So based.
Lulz

>>19383981
Dude this is /ck/ what the fuck are you doing?

>>19376931
>If no restrictions then I'd like a nice iv shot of heroin, a handrolled cigarette, and a bunch of opium to smoke, along with 5-10mg of diazepam.
Its a last MEAL

>>19383975
>doesn't want to eat his own butt slow cooked in a smoker then slathered in delicious BBQ sauce
Pathetic.

A single glass of cold plain water.

>>19384823
live a little!

oh wait

>>19384843
kek

I'd probably just get the Timothy McVeigh special
>pic related

>>19385272
this guy knows how it’s done.

>>19374595
Nothing if you live in Texas.
>Before his execution, Brewer ordered a last meal that prompted the end of last meal requests in Texas. The meal included two chicken fried steaks with gravy and sliced onions; a triple-patty bacon cheeseburger; a cheese omelet with ground beef, tomatoes, onions, bell peppers and jalapeños; a bowl of fried okra with ketchup; one pound of barbecued meat with half a loaf of white bread; three fully loaded fajitas; a meat-lover's pizza; one pint of Blue Bell vanilla ice cream; a slab of peanut-butter fudge with crushed peanuts on top; and three root beers. When the meal was presented, he told officials that he was not hungry and as a result he did not eat any of it. The meal was discarded, prompting State Senator John Whitmire to ask Texas prison officials to end the 87-year-old tradition of giving last meals to condemned inmates.
What a prick.

>>19385415
>ties a black man up and drags his body behind a pick-up truck until the corpse literally falls to pieces
>all anyone cares about is that he torpedoed the last meal policy

>>19374602
Jesus that's exactly what I would want to.

>>19386161
Everything as it should be.

>>19374595
Country Benedict from Frank's Diner, Spokane, WA

>>19374595
I don't know, what do you want to eat?

>>19386161
Priorities, man, priorities.

as many hot wings as I'm legally allowed to have. and a rack of bbq ribs.

>>19386515
That sounds good. I had an Irish Benedict yesterday.

>>19374778

based and truthpilled

Schnitzel and potatoes, I guess. Also, with the cringe, unfunny reddit answers in this thread?

Casa ole just because it would remind me of my innocent childhood before I got on death row, and I would make them sing me the happy birthday song and not the new shit one it needs to end with "chimichanga and a guacamole too you"
https://youtu.be/KVKgbmfx3P4

>>19374595
2 parts apple martini flavored crystal lite
1 part methadone

>>19389667
Id order chicken quasadillas and two things of the green sauce with extra chips
https://youtu.be/z23t_eokqYI

>>19374595
I'd be so sad and angered that I was dying I wouldn't be able to enjoy the shit and wouldn't have an appetite. Let's just get this shit over with.

>>19374595
small garden salad with blue cheese dressing
1/2 slab bbq baby back ribs
1/2 lb. fried clams/tarter sauce
6 large fried shrimp/cocktail sauce
2 jalapeno hushpuppies
2 fried chicken wings/louisianna hot sauce
1/4 lb. western bacon burger
1 carne asada taco
large slice of pepperoni pizza
1 slice of death by chocolate cake
ice cold 2 liter of coke a cola

>>19389707
based obese bro