/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>19356102
>Be me 6yo semi-autist
>sit next to the kid who pours chocolate milk on his pizza splashes it all around then eats soggy pizza
>thinks it's funny so I sit next to him and talk to him
>his mom is happy he made a friend, asks my mom if I can come over
>mom is happy that I made a friend and drops me off on a Sunday morning
>We go to catholic church.
>Go back to his and play Mega-man x for the first time
>lunch is ready. First time eating Spam
>me picky tendies only 6yo little shit doesn't like it and runs back upstairs to play mega man.
>Get invited again, only want to play mega man
>don't get invited anymore after that.

Also the tacos/ taco salad were the best. It's precooked meat in a bag the same as taco bell and if you put fire sauce on it, it tastes pretty much the same. Plus the Mexican lunch ladies made good beans.

the weird autistic girl who would sit by herself and run after coins people would throw on the ground. get some class, bitch.

>>19356102
girl with braces and chapped lips that she couldnt close all the way around her crooked teeth dipping soggy french fries in ranch dressing and chewing with her mouth open while talking and stopping to take slugs of chocolate milk with her mouth full of fries and ranch seeping into the cracks of her bloody lips

that and kids who would eat yogurt in massive spoonfuls but that's just my personal autism

the two weird kids i sat with cause i was a loner who ended up talking about horse porn VERY loudly in the middle of the lunch room

>>19356102
I remember harassing some Korean kid for an entire school year because he borrowed a dollar from me and never paid me back

>>19356363
In Jr high we had a kid who picked up coins off the lunch room floor; we called him penny picker. In shop class, someone drilled a hole through a quarter and tied fishing line to it. The next day we put the quarter on the ground and baited that poor bastard. He chased it a good 15 ft before he realized what was happening. Then instead of giving up he tried to outrun it and stomp on the line instead. Lulz were had.
He also forged his mom's signature on the jrtoc application form and turned it back into the Sgt or whoever the same day he got it. After that he wasn't allowed in, but every Tuesday he would wear some Korean war era fake uniform and pretended to be in it. I don't even know why; everyone made fun of them for joining that thing.
Looking back, it's pretty obvious that he was a sped and we were cruel to him.

Moved to Canada when I was around 10, and it was the first time learning of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, fucking hated the smell, live in the states now and I love peanut butter

I had an iPod Touch back in late '07, Sophomore year in high school. We were lucky to have Wifi there so I used to browse /b/ and /v/ on it throughout the day during and after class. I'd download memes to laugh at with friends and after jailbreaking it I could download Youtube videos and Flash movies too. I like to think that sort of thing was proto-phoneposting, I even used my dad's ancient "smartphone" that had a real browser built in back in '05 that I went on /b/ with.


Me and my "girlfriend" would use it to browse deviantArt during lunch too. We were both into the anime that was airing in the mid-late 00s so it was neat being able to scroll endlessly through FMA and Death Note on it since dA was blocked on school computers. She ended up being a lesbian and I'm an alcoholic so it all worked out.

one time a girl spilled her yogurt on the back of my pants and she felt bad enough to wipe me down. i felt extra chaddy that day

>>19356442
>Me and my "girlfriend" would use it to browse deviantArt during lunch too.
I know exactly what kind of girl you're talking about. Turns out in my case the bitch just pretended to be a lesbian, so that my horny ass best friend would stop trying to get with her

2 things about me

1. once I was playing with disgusting rice pudding because I didn't want to eat it then some old Karen cunt made me eat it

2. once put a nickle and dime in a no bake cookie, forgot about it, it messed up the garbage disposal and then i got spanked by the principal

>>19356442
Holy shit are you me?

>>19356672
Nah she turned out to be an actual lesbian years after we graduated. We drifted apart after Junior/Senior year and other than admittedly creeping on her Tumblr laat year for a few minutws I've decided to just let it be.

>>19356714
probably

>>19356671
Unspoken rizz

>>19356102
We’d always throw various food objects at the theatre fags or ghetto Mexican chicks. Felt pretty bad one day when my friend accidentally smoked a crippled girl in a mobility scooter since the theatre fags would let her sit with them. She reacted like she just got shot even though it was just a ketchup packet. We’d do all sorts of other shit, dropping random sauce packets on the ground when everyone was leaving the cafeteria, putting them under toilet seats, etc.

>>19356102
>>the girl who isn't allowed to talk about seafood
>>the girl who discovered butter
>>the boy who pulls down half of the licorice and does that thang
Where the heck did you grow up, Georgia?

>>19357046
>t. doesn't do picrel and clearly doesn't do that thang

>>19356102
cold pockets tier woman humor post, OP

>>19356102
my best friend ruined lunch time
>weeks buildup of messages on the bathroom stalls and rumors spreading about a school shootn during a specific lunch period on a specific day.
>everybody’s anxious, school called in a squad of cops to post up around the lunch room
>completely silent lunch, only thing you can hear is forks clanking
>unbeknownst to anyone, friend blows up empty milk carton and stomps on it
>people scream and run, cops draw guns
>he just laughs his head off
And we never had lunch together again, cause he was banned

>>19357183
Of all the fake and gay shit I've read on 4channel, this is the fakest and gayest by far
100% pure cringe garbage

>>19357183
>G8rH8r
hi buddy

>>19357041
Theater fags always have a random tard they hang out with. It was this way at my school as well. Like their Quasimodo mascot or something. Or maybe they just needed someone from the social class lower than them to make themselves look better.

>that kid who consistently spergs out and makes a mess on his tray
Fuck you Alan, it stopped being funny after the first week.

>>19356102
>What are some kids that just ruined lunchtime at school?
anon... I have bad news. but first a question,

how long was the bus that took you to school? 2 - 4 rows of seats? did they make you wear a helmet.

I think your were sitting with "special ed" kids and that means you are one of them.

> my mom was a school lunch lady
> kids would make nasty tiktoks badmouthing the food
> I took offense personally

>>19356102
This faggy kid went to Taco bell with me one time during lunch in grade 9 and he was fucking retarded. He talked with his mouth and braces just oozing saliva and cheese sauce from his burrito all up in his nasty ass braces.
I never talked to him or saw him ever again after lunch that day lol.
>Never be nice to autistic people

>>19359092
Cute

>>19359092
i wouldn't be offended if the food is just reheated sysco slop

>>19356442
That is so california 4channer 2007 pilled. So y2k

I would sit with these two druggy kids that would spend the entire lunch period telling me about how they would drug my food. Sometimes when that got boring we'd go to the bathroom and watch one of them wash his hands. He'd do tricks like a three sixty to no-scope double lather, it was sick.
I went to a public high school and the cafeteria fare was cruddy. I liked the chicken patty sandwiches and the burritos. We had a deli sandwich line too which was the best thing in the cafeteria but it would get swamped with kids immediately so it wasn't always a viable option.

>>19359940
schools in cali were such a weird place to be after growing up in the gulf south, i got shuttled out there and placed in a santa monica public school after katrina and found myself adopted by ukrainians, learning spanish almost fluently, deeply understanding the difference between mexicans and chicanos, bullied by hasidic jews (unsuccessfully, they did try though which was astounding), and let out of school to protest the bush administration (we just went to the beach)

fuck cali anyway is what i'm saying

>>19360299
Sounds like you were a flaming twink faggot and all the closeted queers wanted first shot inside your tender virgin holes

>>19360299
>bullied by hasidic jews (unsuccessfully, they did try though which was astounding)
explain further

>>19360644
>AYO THIS NIGGA GOT A FULL PENIS

>>19360644
i've got a polish last name and was introduced to each class as a 'refugee' which was pretty embarrassing desu and the jewish kids would mob up on me while i was chiling eating tamales and rolling cigarettes for the pidors behind the dumpsters while they did their math olympiad exercises, and flex the six million (you're from Katrina, right? well OUR people were slaughtered by the MILLIONS in the HOLICAUST) wish i was joking whole thing was very bizarre

>>19360805
Making fun of the uncut kid is a rite of passage in gym class

>>19356733
there's no such thing as actual lesbians, just severely abused and unloved women

>>19356857
go back to africa

>>19357133
this is the real difference between red vines and twizzler. can't do this with one of em.

>>19359092
you have to be over 18 to post on this site

>>19360830
This is exactly how I imagine growing up around jewish kids

The Basketball-American who used to steal my Capri Sun and Rice Krispie Treats from my backpack in the cubby area every day before lunch. Fuck you, Deshaun. It was hilarious when your pointer finger got amputated after you shoved your hand in a closing door because you thought you entitled to more time in gym class.

>>19356102
For me it was the class retard. One time someone told him to go around kissing people and he thought it was serious so at lunch time he would sit down somewhere try to kiss someone and the entire bench would stand up and run away. What a nightmare

Funniest was when my friend was eating and he let out a fart then he sprinted to the bathroom while yelling "I sharted"

>>19360630
>were

>>19356360
Mega Man X was lit af, though, so this is perfectly understandable.

>>19361540
>Funniest was when my friend was eating and he let out a fart then he sprinted to the bathroom while yelling "I sharted"
kek

>>19360991
Kek loser

Middle school i went to was in a pretty rich area with a decent amount of insanely rich kids. But it was public, and there was a trailer park in the far corner of the school zone.

During recess part of lunch the rich, and therefore popular kids, played Trailorball. Object of the game was to through basketballs and heavy kickballs at the 'trailers'. The 'trailers' were what everyone called the poor kids. While this was all fairly mean, i will say the trailers were all dumb assholes that always started nonsense. More point scored if you got a head dick shot in. They also included the unpopular loser kids, even if they were still rich.

Few years after i graduated i drove by the trailer park and saw it was replaced with an upscale strip mall.

>>19356102
>sitting with some friends in elementary
>one kid at the table takes out a little travel shampoo
>pours it into another kid's drink when he's not looking
>kid picks it up, smells it and just tosses it away
>no one says anything and i'm the only one that saw the shampooing

>>19360839
>tfw i was one of the only boys that would change their underwear before/after gym class
>always hoping i'd get to see more cocks
shoulda known i was gay even as a kid/teen still dated chicks all the way up to graduation though kek

>>19363608
Ur gay

>>19363620
ur brown

>>19356102
>Calvert, the kid who always would mix his food together into a giant slop before taking his tray back

I grew up with this kid named Tony and I have no idea what his issues are. He was always super arrogant and a huge asshole. He hated everyone and would start shit and presses your buttons to the point where you would swing a fist at him. However he was a huge pussy so even the slightest touch would cause him to fall down and wail in agony. Despite everyone hateing him he would still hang out with me and my group of friends. Idk why but he honestly never got through his skull that everyone hated him.

When I was a sophmore in highschool some new kid showed up. He was black and while he was making friends with us (he also loved anime) he started off sticking with other blacks. Tony is also racist, so finally after a week or so he got up, went over to the new kid and strated screaming every slur he could think off and making threats about how he was gonna lynch him. Of course he got the shit beat out of him, but me and my group got taken down to the office as well because the principle at the time assumed we where friends with Tony.

Principle doesn't believe a word we say when we tell him stories about Tony, so I make the bold move of calling my crush in. She was one of the popular kids so when her hot ass came in and saw us she was like "what the fuck is this?" Princple asks her about Tony and instantly her face changes and starts going on about all the times Tony did shit to her. Princple still doesn't believe us so we just kept calling people down to tell more stories about Tony. After 8 more people came down he finally let us all go.

>>19356102
For me it was
>that kid that used to pop the bags of chips at school
I fucking hate people who do this just like I hate people who fuck with balloons and fireworks/firearms
My favorite meal at my school was a chicken patty sandwich with mashed potatoes and gravy and finally a chocolate milk.

>>19363927
This was back in like 2004-2005

>>19363927
>I hate people who fuck with balloons and fireworks/firearms
Yuro hands typed this.

>>19363263
He was shot and killed by another Basketball-American before turning 21. He lost. Hope those stolen Capri Suns are keeping him cool in hell.

>>19363862
Must be universal. I did that once and saw almost all my friends do it at least once. Always on days we didn't like that particular days lunch

My friend did this in a Mongolian Barbecue restaurant once and that was a bit too far. He filled the bowl with everything we didn't finish then threw in the drinks too

>>19363608
>homosexual is a degenerate since childhood
Shocking. Also, you’re what’s known as a peter gazer and you shouldn’t do that because it’s creepy and gross. Not even a homophobic thing, but secretly leering at people’s genitals is not a good thing to do.

>>19356102
>the kid who ate everyone elses hot dogs because no one else would eat them then threw up slimy hot dog chunks on the cafeteria floor
I still can’t think of hot dogs without getting nauseated and it’s been 20+ years

>>19364397
to be honest i was just into nudism as a kid, wasn't even sexual
i'd hardly call wanting other people to be naked as secret leering kek
i remember my senior year i only needed like 1 credit to graduate but the school wouldn't let me just leave seven hours early, so i just filled out my classes with irrelevant shit like gym
i was the only senior in one gym class with a bunch of freshmen
the smelly fuckers would go back to class without showering because they were all embarrassed to be naked in the locker room
so i'd make a dramatic show of boisterously throwing my gym clothes aside and yell for the shitheads to clean up in the showers
after a couple weeks all but a couple would shower before going back to class
a couple of the coaches actually thanked me for getting the younger guys to clean up
of course nowadays everyone would probably just be filming each other with their smartphones

>>19356102
The guy who yanked my chair out from under me just as I was sitting down.
I have no idea why he did it; we were basically friendly. He didn't even get a good laugh out of it; everyone kinda looked at him like he was a retard.

>>19356420
There is absolutely no way PB&J is a Canada-only phenomenon. Also it's not quite as good as peanut butter and strawberry jam.

>that kid that pretended the lunch table was a drum and made it shake, occasionally spilling people's chocolate milk

>>19364397
There was a neighborhood kid who would go up to my little sister's window and flash her (his benis) when he was maybe 6 or 7, your post just reminded me of him for some reason. He also caught lizards and got them to bite his ears to wear them as "earrings" and would occasionally kill small animals and show us the bodies or guts. Also his sister was a huge furfag and has inuyasha and wolf posters all over her wall. I wonder where that kid is now?

Who else launched the can pop top off their finger across the room into someone’s eye?

>>19363891
You sound like a fucking piece of shit pussy. Who cares how obnoxious Tony was. Fuck niggers. Period.

>>19363549
Can't tell if AI or ESL

>>19356442
Soulful and based post

t. Also had a iPod touch around 07/08 and I was a freshman in 07 in high school

>>19365769
yeah man who else launched the can pop top flop slop blob crop stop mop off their digit into other man ocular

>that kid who stomped on every acorn he could find
>that kid who left to his car to chug vodka he smuggled in through a Gatorade bottle
>that kid who squirted several packets of ketchup and mayo on his tray, swirled it together, then licked it off clean

I remember like 20+ years ago, being in middle school, getting a white milk because we got a giant cookie with lunch, and opening it up and dipping my cookie in it. then a black girl looked at me and said "ewwwwwww".

I think about it from time to time.

>>19368254
Pretty sure thats a hate crime on your part.

>the girl who isn't allowed to talk about seafood
Wait, what?

>show up late for lunch after helping a teacher with something
>my 3 usual tables are taken
>whatever, I'm on friendly terms with most groups, sit with the stoner kids
>one of them squirts his entire tube of chocolate pudding on his pizza and goes to town
>even the other stoner kids asked him wtf
>"don't knock it til you try it dude"

>that one kid that liked to full force hurl fruit across the cafeteria for giggles
>never got caught
>many people were splattered or bruised

>that one old-ass tard wrangler teacher that would walk around the cafeteria eating oranges like apples, peel and all

There was this kid called jack and whenever there was a substitute teacher and someone got sent out the class they would say that their name was jack so that jack would get the detention, this really pissed him off and whenever he would protest and say he was the real jack you would get like 3 other people piping up saying about how he's lying.
Eventually jack left, but people would still tell the substitute teachers that they were jack.

>>19367583
This post made me hop.

>>19360953
Basically Orthodox and Reform are cancer

Conservative Jews aren't that bad.

>>19364933
They were shocked he would pick on the retard by pulling a chair out from under him.

sorry Anon

>>19370046
one time in elementary school, i was not allowed to attend a celebration because apparently i had received a citation even though i've never gotten one in my life. this post made me realize that someone must have lied about their name to evade their punishment

>>19363805
Owned!

>>19356102
For me it was always the barbeque rib (Rib-A-Que) sandwiches. Loved 'em.

How about the girl who always puts her tits on the griddle?

>>19364397
I played football in high school and while I was in the football locker room and one of the other players had a massive donger. Caught me off guard. Didn't even realize I was staring until he called me out on it.

I had that phase where I hated cheese and when the cafeteria served grilled cheese I would split it in half and stick the cheesed sides underneath the table.

>>19365733
Your post reminded me of a time when I was in kindergarten. There was a slide and I recall one day getting it in my head that if a girl was wearing a skirt she would climb up the ladder and I could peek up her skirt.
It worked twice before the yard lady came to pull me aside.

I blame this on being raised by a single mother for a small portion of my life.

>>19371090
I've done this as well. My friend and I got caught doing something stupid and when the lady asked for our names he makes up one. I thought it was dumb so I used another student's name. I saw him crying later that day and they figured out I forged his name and I got double detention for that.

>not getting the response you hoped for when you loudly start a rant against gay people and gay marriage in 2002
Well it’s not for everyone I guess

>that girl who showed up in sasuke cosplay WITH a tail
She had a moustache but I wish I was cool enough to talk to her

>>19371480
My first grilled cheese was from the cafeteria and I ended up puking after school. Never had a grilled cheese since.

>>19371515
There was some gaylord in my high school that wore an Akatsuki coat to school EVERY single day

When I went to high school, there was a kid that always shat his pants before lunch, and when we were in the cafeteria, everyone could smell him, but we weren't allowed to do anything or say anything about it because he was a Black person of color, and we didn't want to get canceled.

>>19358334
And now those people write laws

>>19364397
You're such a hypocrite. You were no saint about girls at that age.

>>19371873
bullshit. teachers are all over things like that because they know how cruel kids are, and they would be afraid of lawsuits because that would be a health hazard. cps would be there that day, they are bound by law.

I invented a scheme in 3rd grade whereby I'd shove wadded up paper towels into the coin return slot of the vending machine in the morning. Then people would buy shit all day and not get their change, thinking the machine was broken or just out of coins. Then at the end of the day I'd come back and take the papers out, and all the coins would release, then I would get my free chips. Usually I could harvest like $3-5 worth of coins per day. Never got caught. Did this for 2 years until I realized I would probably get in a lot of trouble if someone caught me and it wasn't worth the meager amounts of coins I was harvesting.