/ck/ - Food & Cooking

set him free :p

>>19357403
cook or cram
you know whose advice you seek

>>19357410
Cram one claw let the other latch onto sack

free my crab niggas

>>19357403
Can of Raid.

>SURPRISE

>>19357403
Let's not kid ourselves, wit the crab's claws unshackled, it has surely killed OP by now.

Assuming that I'm addressing the crab, I'd advise you to pick at OP's cheeks and lips. They're especially tender meat on a human body, and should make an ample meal for a crab.

>>19357403
if you don’t know what to do, put it back you dumb child

>>19357403
dude there's a bug in your sink, might want to clean it out

>>19357428
Thanks anon. Any hints for turning taps on with pincers? I'm planning on filling the sink up and stirring in enough salt that it feels like home.

>>19357403
ye olde cram

>>19357428
h-how do you know this?

mods?

>>19357407
Based

I saw a guy "rescue" a lobster on YouTube, he kept it as a pet

>>19357475
Obviously that anon has been a crab in ops situation.

>>19357468
Clip off fingers and use as puppet fingers for human grip.

i thought i heard him hiss at me or make some sort of noise while i disassembled his gf. dont appreciate that i think ill keep him alive for a couple days.
>>19357428
fake news

>>19357468
>>19357499
Also plug the sink with excess skin so it floods house. Then call up crab friends and claim ownership of OP property. You will have a whole house for you and crab friends.

>>19357505
Feed him vodka and see what happens.

>>19357508
dont have vodka but have gin, i think he likes it! yeah boi we eating (his gf) good tonight

>>19357522
Now this thread getting good! Wish crabbo a good drunk for max success in recovering from your own failures.

>>19357522
Take a band off and let him cut the veg that his gf will be served with

>>19357543
if i take them off how would i get them back on to scrub him in prep?

Fill the sink partially with water and add a couple spoonfuls of salt and let it chill a bit.

Fuck you. Inhuman cunt.

good ol late night crab gin waterboarding

last pic for the day, but i gave him some cocaine, i wonder what he'll taste like after a couple more days of coke and gin!

>>19357403
That thing looks really pissed off, like it's going to jump out of that sink and start eating people and their pets.

holy shit…am i the only oldfag left?

>>19357403
Put him in a pond lol

>>19357482
I do wonder, knowing nothing of what comes after death... Is being kept as a pet not a bad thing?

>>19357715
shit from like 2013 does not make you an "oldfag"

>>19357732
2013 was 10 years ago.

>>19357732
i’ve been around since ‘97, son

That's the kind of thread I want to see more often on /ck/

Crabs are terrible drinkers. They can't handle spirits at all.
He deserved better than this.

>>19357522
this photo looks like something that would get reposted on twitter and tiktok a million times with jpeg artifacts all over it

>>19357934
Crab abuse threads are far too common as it is. Most delicious yet badly treated animal.

>>19357482
Leon! cool dude

>>19357741
I've been around since the 80's during the time 4chan was still a BBS. It all went downhill after Moot Sr. switched over to IP.

>>19357403
Move.

>>19357403
add him to my collection

>>19357741
so young, I could be ur dad

>>19358381
I've heard that song before, it's from Lexx, from Canada with the wildfires and smoke.

I suspect penetration testing like with those stupid ballons earlier.

>>19357403
drown the fucker

>>19357522
my mom made me kill a bunch of fish with liquor when i was a kid, thanks for the core memory op

>>19357403
Steam it until its red

>>19358379
see if you can flush one

>>19357403
Molest him and make a video out of it

Set in free in the yard and then shoot at it with a .22 rifle or pistol. Then boil it and eat it.

>>19357410
kek you got me to laugh in a library, very good

>>19357669
is this actually coke? im not a druggie does anyone want to confirm

>>19359681
This, but attach it to a balloon instead and try to shoot it out of the air

>>19357619

>>19357732
2016 oldfag here, you are wrong

>>19359931
>election tourist who stuck around
>oldfag
Hmmmm

>>19357522
> Pouring floor cleaner
> On a fucking crab
Sick fucking monster

>>19357411
Intredasting abroach.
Does this hepl me shot web?

>>19357403
'rab in the 'ink simple as

quads and he goes free

>>19359999
Kek

>>19357412
CLM

>>19357522
>CHECKED and BASED.
Getting your food animals comfortably numb before dispatching--
I CLAP.
>Whatchoo know 'bout dem Paparikkas?
https://youtu.be/_FrOQC-zEog

>>19358357
LOLOLOLOLOL!!

>>19359999
GETSCRIPT FUCKER
I KNEW I shouldn't have let that little tidbit slip about Violent MONKE
--U IZ an FAGGit

>>19359988
>this week on How It’s Man-Made Horrors Beyond Your Comprehension

>>19359988
well chosen filename

>>19357507
Based crab legal advocate

>>19359848
Looks like white powder to me

>>19357475

>>19357522
Water board that snipping fuckhead he knows where the treasure is

>>19357403
FREE HIM

>snib :D :D :D

>>19357403
attack its weak point for massive damage

>>19359988
d-does this kill the crab?

>>19358379
irl crab battle

>>19358357
Nothing like calling a fellow information superhighway user "faggot" on IRC. Good times.

Smash a knife through his skull

>>19359988
why are they throwing away the best part?

>>19357403
Take some shears and make a quick clean lateral cut roughly a quarter inch behind the eyes.
(this kills the crab)

>>19359931
genuinely embarrassing if not bait

>>19359988

>>19357475
nta but I saw pictures of a guy that died and his 30 cats ate him. they stripped his face down to the skull in particular because it's easy to eat

What does crab taste like? Is it closer to shrimp or lobster?

>>19361845
What kind of answer are you seeking?
It tastes like crab, it tastes like chicken, maybe surimi. Don't be stupid.

>>19357482
Pinchy!

It tastes like soylent green wafers

>>19359848
Could be anything, I don't think crab absorb coke into their bodies like we do.

Just remember that Tuesday is soylent green day

In some places the stuff all mixed up is called Krab with the K, it's a mish mosh of who knows what.

>>19360553
at some point half of them kept to the left and half of them kept to the right leaving this wide gap as if crab moses had parted them

>>19357403
>you don wanna eat me, anon, I'm ugly and have very little meat...

>>19360976
Gruesomely delicious...Strangely.

>>19360699
>checked
IDK..Probably mass production of Scrab Cakes or flake and they don't want green Tomalley making them look "Off"

>>19357403
Give him a few bucks and return him to the sea.

>>19357403
Stab that faggo crab with your chopsticks, take no prisoners.